Episode 5 Parade's End

I can send you home, in disgrace or I can send you to your battalion.

Are you mad? If you let yourself go, you'll go further than you wish.

Groby is at your disposal, if you want to live there with Michael.

Have you got a sweetheart in the war, Miss?

I'm a woman desperately trying to get her husband back.

If Christopher would throw his handkerchief to me,

I would follow him round the world in my shift.

I took that woman to be a saint!

What is one to do when a woman is unfaithful?

Divorce the harlot

or live with her like a man!

Oh, my dear.

Come back.

So we have Captain Tietjens, whom the War Office wanted transferred

to the command of 19th Division's horse-lines,

going to the trenches to take over as second-in-command of the 6th Battalion, Glamorganshires,

and we have Captain McKechnie, who detests Tietjens

because he considers the second-in-command of the 6th Battalion to be his by right,

going instead to take charge of 19th Division's horse-lines,

which he sees, correctly, as a humiliation.

And finally we have Major Perowne,

last heard of attempting to enter the bedroom of Mrs Tietjens,

allegedly at her invitation,

being sent back to his battalion as a punishment.

And all I can say is that it takes a movement order of some genius

to send these three officers up the line sharing transport.

EXPLOSION

Shouldn't we get out of the train while it's stopped?

-Why?

-The Huns are aiming at the train.

They never hit what they're aiming at.

Think of those pretty sisters with the teashop in Poperinghe.

-What about them?

-Blown to bits.

The Huns couldn't have been aiming at a teashop.

Please note, the seal is unbroken.

After the raid, I'll translate your sonnet into Latin in under three minutes.

I suppose you believe that I have not read your sonnet?

You don't perhaps imagine that I opened it and made a copy?

Yes! No! I don't care!

You can be witness. Latin hexameters in under three minutes.

Teach him to come the sonneteer with me!

He sells his wife to generals for promotion.

You take that back, you swine!

You're speaking of a lady you're not fit to...

-EXPLOSION

-Not that it's for me to defend her.

What's this?

-What's this?!

-McKechnie, control yourself,

or the first thing I'll do is report you to the MO,

-and you'll find yourself in the care of the doctors!

-Report me to Terence?

Terence is my pal. We're all pals in the battalion!

Best battalion in the line. How we worked at it!

Now I'm banished to a horse-coper's job in Transport.

And poor old Colonel Bill has got you as his number two.

Poor old Bill.

You're no soldier.

Do you think you're an infantry man?

You're a bolster!

A big, baggy bolster.

GUNFIRE

Poor battalion.

Poor bloody old pals.

Oh, God! Are we going to die?

Poor old Bill, who sweated for the battalion!

What do you think it's like, Tietjens, when you stop one,

when you know this is it? Death!

Your faculties are numbed.

You feel no pain,

no apprehension.

Thank you, Tietjens.

Thank you.

Now he's got you. Poor old Bill...

WAGON JOLTS & TRAIN WHISTLES

Oh, thank God. We're moving.

I can smell bacon!

And snowdrops?

Happy birthday, darling!

-Where did you find the snowdrops?

-Oh, I didn't pick them, I'm afraid.

Well, I picked them in... Shepherds Market!

-Thank you for my Valentine card.

-Me?

And... there's a telegram for you.

Someone's remembered your birthday.

-It's in Latin!

-It must be from Christopher.

SHE READS QUIETLY

"..Octobris."

It's from Edward.

Glasgow postmark.

He must be on shore. That's...

That's good, anyway.

"Happy birthday, comrade.

"Let live.. Octobris..."

"Long live the October Revolution."

I suppose he thought it might not get through, now the Bolsheviks have made peace with Germany.

-Is my son a Bolshevik now?!

-It's enough to make anyone Bolshevik,

sending men and boys to murder each other in millions!

I don't want a birthday if he's lying dead!

He's not dead.

He's in Glasgow.

-I meant...

-SHE SIGHS

APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS

You are surely not in love with Christopher Tietjens?

You mustn't be. He's a married man.

But when he comes home, he will make me his mistress.

Or he won't.

But you wouldn't!

And he wouldn't!

You've always thought he was infallible!

He'll keep some of his principles. He won't divorce his wife.

I don't care! I...

I've always thought love was...

..a kind of literature and...

But every word Christopher Tietjens and I have ever said to each other

was a declaration of love.

Captain Tietjens reporting for duty.

Notting. I'm the Adjutant.

The CO is inspecting our trench.

-HE SNORTS

-Aubrey!

The battalion is down to a third of its full strength.

328 at last count, call it 75 per company.

There's nothing for you to do except wait for the German push.

They send over a few shells before breakfast and after lunch.

And there's always a chance they might rush a trench for the fun of it.

So we've got to keep a sharp look-out. The RSM will show you round while it's quiet.

Come on, dig! Let's go!

-Bennett, sir.

-Carry on, carry on.

Here...

Saints preserve us all!

Colonel Williams, sir, the Commanding Officer.

B-But what's he doing?

-Isn't that...

-No-man's land, sir, and then the Hun.

MAN HUMS TO SELF

Where the hell is he?

I can't see him, sir.

MAN SHOUTS

Have a care, sir, for snipers.

They'd be shooting at the CO.

I'm Captain Tietjens, sir.

-Nobody at home, Regimental Sergeant Major!

-Sir!

MACHINE-GUN FIRE

Girls, slow down.

"The case of Mrs G is not exceptional.

"Her husband was accustomed to pet her and have relations with her frequently,

"but yet he never took any trouble to rouse her

"in the necessary preliminary feeling

"for mutual union"! GIRLS GIGGLE

"Because she shyly asked him,

"Mrs G's husband gave her one swift unrepeated kiss upon her bosom."

GIRLS GIGGLE

Come along! Didn't you hear the bell?

Quickly, girls!

You have to report it to the Head. There's no question about that!

-Is it really so terrible?

-Yes, it is! It's the vilest...

Exposing young women's minds to...

-How much of it did you read?

-Quite a lot of it.

-Read us some more, Mrs Ferguson.

-Buy your own!

Would it be too wicked if Miss Wannop told the Head she just found it somewhere,

in the pavilion or something?

-I've decided. I'm going to put it back.

-You will not!

Why not? It's a proper book, it's not trash.

But it's not for children!

I was a suffragist when I was at the age of our senior girls.

I thought getting the vote for women was the only thing that would make me happy.

And now we've just got the vote,

well, some of it, some of us,

and about time, too,

but it's got nothing to do with happiness. I've found that much out.

It's a book for married women.

-No, it isn't.

-Yes, it is, by George!

-It's a book about married love.

Girls want to be married.

Some of them will be, and soon, so it's for them, too.

And according to Dr Stopes, most of them will be unhappy out of sheer ignorance,

or their husband's ignorance.

-We want them to be happy, don't we?

-We do.

Put it back. I'll answer for it to the Head.

If any of you care to sneak...

-Good for you, Miss Wannop.

-BELL RINGS

You've just got time.

Don't let 'em cross the wire!

Need your fire, men!

Aubrey!

Get down, for God's sake!

SCREAMING

MOURNFUL MUSIC

SHOUTING

HE GASPS

Take the Hun first. He's alive. SCREAMING

Our man's dead.

Damn cool, you were, sir! Damn cool!

EXPLOSIONS & SHOUTING

MOURNFUL MUSIC

SCREAMING & EXPLOSIONS

GENTLE CLANGING

Do you think Rupert Brook was the handsomest man in England?

HE GASPS Do you hear that?

-The miners.

-I don't.

I think Pamela Cheyne's chauffeur was. Hm!

WIND CHIMES JINGLE

God bless Mummy, Daddy and Granny, and Granny and Grandpa in heaven,

and Aunt Effie and Uncle Arthur, and Marchie and everybody.

And God bless me.

Hop in.

-And stay in! Mm?

-HE SIGHS

Mummy will be up to see you.

She says to bring him down.

Who's "she"? The cat's mother?

Dressing gown.

Did you hang something from the tree, Evie, so the wood sprites don't get you?

The wood sprites won't catch me!

Give me bombs any day, bombs are natural.

It has stood for 200 years.

It will stay standing until Michael is master of Groby.

-He can decide to cut it down or not.

-You miss the point exactly!

I want the tree gone before Michael has any say in the matter.

He'll grow up a Tietjens - backward-looking and sentimental!

It's paganism, hanging up their bits and bobs like savages.

The land steward will certainly inform Mark if you order the cedar cut down.

Let him. Brother Mark has abdicated from Groby.

He has chosen the life of a London clubman with an actress in the Gray's Inn Road.

And Christopher, for all I know,

will live in sin after the war with his little games mistress.

That's all it is. You want to make Christopher suffer. Poor boy! Between you and the Germans...!

Anyone would think you were his mother, not mine!

I pray even more fervently for you,

as we are taught to do for all sinners.

That's what I get for keeping myself chaste all these years!

You mean since you bolted.

Potty Perowne deserved me.

I chose the path of charity, as Jesus would have done.

They say he died with a smile on his face.

Potty, I mean.

Well, I'll spare the Groby Tree for the duration.

But if my husband thinks he can throw me over

for that scrub-faced ladies' champ of the regular bowel movement...

He's the only man who perhaps wouldn't. And he'll go to heaven for it.

You say that because you think of God as an English landowner on a colossal scale,

who never leaves his study, so is invisible.

Well, if Christopher's not in heaven when the war's over,

he won't be in Gray's Inn, not with Little Miss Hockeysticks on my furniture!

-What is it? I said I'll come up!

-I'm sorry, madam.

Come on.

For the sake of your soul,

will you go into retreat for a week or two?

You need to reflect upon what to ask of God.

I thought perhaps...

..India.

India?

Commanding Officer in B Company trench, sir!

EXPLOSIONS & SHOUTING

Sir!

Sir!

Please! Sir!

MAN SHOUTS FRANTICALLY

EXPLOSIONS

I'll get the Colonel Bill over to the MO.

Report to me the first sign of gas.

Two observers in every company, everyone else in platoon dug-outs.

-I'm taking over temporary command.

-Sir!

Bill!

-And Bobbie?

-She married quietly abroad.

Oh! So congratulations are due?

-When?

-September.

But how lovely for Bobbie.

The only person who comes well out of this is Johnny Pelham!

I hope you know, Bobbie asked me to get Johnny out of the house when he was being miserable,

and that's all there was to that.

I suppose you told Christopher.

I went to visit Christopher in France, two months ago.

They were working him dreadfully hard,

and in an enormous camp commanded by General Campion.

If you've come to ask me to do something for Christopher,

I should tell you that Bertram is simply overwhelmed at the War Cabinet.

No! It's the General.

He's like a war-horse in a paddock.

He simply can't be allowed to end his career like that.

He can and he probably will.

That's pillow talk, mind you.

-Sylvia. Excuse me.

-No, please stay if you can, Bertram!

Stay at your peril. Sylvia has a bit between her teeth.

Well - if I can have a drink -

for a few minutes.

-I'm concerned for Edward.

-Campion?

-Mm.

Why has he got a glorified quartermaster's job fitting out troops for General Perry's command?

Because it's a vital job and Campion does it superbly.

But General Perry's command is the only fighting command that might become free.

He's taken to getting his friends to write to the Times about being starved of troops.

Edward Campion should have the sort of job

which brings a hero's welcome and a peerage at the end of it.

And from that, who knows?

-Perhaps India.

-India?

-Viceroy of India?

-Why not?

The General served with great distinction in India.

Actually, that's well said.

And I must leave you.

-I'm so glad things are settled with Bobbie.

-Thank you, my dear.

A carpet seller's son from Turkey or somewhere -

with the beastliest newspapers in London - as a son-in-law

is a turn of events!

Just the man to put the public behind General Campion!

-How long is your leave?

-It isn't leave.

I ordered myself home to be at the War Office first thing in the morning

to ask if anyone understands that if they don't do something, there'll be nothing behind us but sea.

I'll probably be relieved of my command,

but there's not much career left for a man of 60 unless he's given a fighting army.

We'll see.

Can you come to Groby for the weekend?

It will be very quiet. Just Bobbie and her new husband.

You don't know Lord Beichen, the Press lord?

I might do that. I'd love to see Groby.

-How is Christopher?

-Don't you see him?

Er, no. He's at the Front now.

I had no choice, after...

Of course you didn't.

A chance of glory, then.

Absolutely. A chance of glory.

'Lucky beggar!'

SKYLARK FLUTTERS

HE GASPS

-There ain't no beastly snipers, is there, sir?

-A skylark. Nearly walked into my mouth.

There's been a skylark singing on the morning of every strafe I've ever been in.

Wonderful trust in humanity, sir.

-Wonderful

-hinstinct

-in the feathered breast by the

-Halmighty,

for who was gonna hit a skylark on a battlefield?

I don't know about the Almighty.

It's all one to a skylark, whether it's high explosive or a plough.

13 minutes if the barrage is punctual.

They're a good lot of chaps, sir. The best.

Give 'em the right sort of officers, they'll beat the world.

They know what they are doing.

-I don't think it matters too much who gives the order.

-No, sir!

They've been frightened these last few days.

-They're better now.

-DISCORDANT TUNE FROM CORNET

What the devil is that row?

O-9 Griffiths, sir.

Cap'n McKechnie promised to hear him and recommend him to play in the Divisional Follies.

Captain McKechnie is with us again?

-Carry on.

-Yes, sir.

-Carry on!

-Come past the next traverse. I want to speak with you.

-The strafe is due in seven minutes!

-You'll have to put a tin hat on if you're staying here.

-How dare you give me orders!

It wouldn't look well, Divisional Transport Officer dead in my lines in a parade hat!

The Transport Officer has the right to consult the CO of a battalion he's supplying.

I'm commanding here. You haven't consulted me.

This is what it has come to with the old battalion!

The bloody, bloody old battalion of pals!

What are you going to do about Bill?

-The MO has authority to send him on sick leave for a couple of months.

-I know what you're up to.

If you got poor Bill cashiered they'd put in another pukka colonel,

but if you send him sick you're certain to get the command as a stop-gap!

Captain McKechnie, you can fall out!

Return to duty. Your own duty!

-In a proper head-dress!

-I suppose if you're in command...

It's usual to say Sir when addressing a senior officer on parade!

-You're attached to Divisional Headquarters. Get back there.

-Sir!

-Sir?

-EXPLOSIONS

I haven't forgotten about your sonnet, sir.

Please note, the seal is unbroken.

> Trouble from day one, he was. He's always been the same.

Orderly Room says will you look through these, sir?

-So, the Petrarchan sonnet is different from the Shakespearean sonnet, sir?

-Of course.

A final couplet after three quatrains would be an abomination in the Italian sonnet.

Captain McKechnie, are you still here?

I'll tell the cornet to report to you tomorrow for the entertainment.

-His name is Griffiths. Find him for me, Corporal.

-Yes, sir.

By the way, General Campion is to take over this army the day after tomorrow.

We got the word at Division HQ.

So Campion is back?

That means the French have single command.

It means we'll get reinforcements.

Captain McKechnie told me you wrote a sonnet in two and a half minutes, sir.

It's just a trick. "PASSING BY" PLAYED ON CORNET

# There was a la-dy

# Fair and kind #

Miss Wannop.

Mr Tietjens!

How is your flame in the...

..linen shop, Lieutenant Aranjuez?

Nanette?

It's Minette, sir.

If I stop one, sir, will you tell Minette that...

Little nippers like you don't stop things.

Besides, the wind's on our backs. They won't set off without gas.

I remember that Hun in our trench who got shot in both eyes.

Your girl naturally won't look at you

if you let her down, sir, by losing your beauty.

# I did see her

# Passing by

# Yet I'll love her

# Till I die #

Yes, well...

Griffiths, you and your cornet are to report to Divisional HQ tomorrow night

for the entertainment.

-Think you can hold a tune by then?

-Yes, sir!

-Very good.

RAPID EXPLOSIONS Fall out, then.

MAN SHOUTS

Right on time.

I don't want to leave my battalion to a man that would knock it about while I'm on sick leave.

I won't let discipline go to ruin, Sir, if that's what you mean.

LOUD EXPLOSION

-I should go and -

-Notting will tell us if anything's wanted.

I suppose I could get rid of you with a bad report.

Or perhaps I couldn't.

They say you're Campion's bastard.

I'm his godson.

I'm not going to bring a general on my back.

-LOUD EXPLOSION

-No! Stop where you are!

This isn't the strafe.

This is only a little extra morning hate.

You can tell by the noise.

-LOUD BOOM

-That's four-point-twos.

The heavies don't come so fast. They'll be turning on the Worcesters now,

and only give us one every half-minute.

That's their game.

If you don't know that, what are you doing here?

Do you hear?

EXPLOSIONS WHISTLE IN DISTANCE

LOUD BANG

So, you think you can...

..command this battalion?

I'm not in a condition to do it myself.

The men appear to like you.

They're tired of me.

Well...

..take the Battalion with my blessing.

-Brigade want to know if we're suffering any.

-We aren't suffering any, are we?!

No, not in particular.

A shell in the entrance of "C" Company dug-out, one man dead.

This officer is taking over from me.

Oh, tell Brigade

we're all as happy as sandboys!

You may as well make a cheerful impression to begin with!

-They knocked, sir, but they didn't come in!

-They may oblige us tomorrow.

You'll have to get your trench restored by morning.

-Just make sure the men keep their heads down.

-Yes, sir!

You three, over here!

Go and tell B Company I'll come and take a look at them.

-Say ten minutes. Keep blind-side of that mound as you go.

-Sir!

-Would you ask A Company dug-out for the favour of a sandwich and coffee with some rum in it?

-Sir.

> Let's have a look at this, then.

BIRDS TWEET

MOURNFUL MUSIC

-Sir.

-Thank you, Corporal.

Mm.

-Did you get a bite to eat, Corporal?

-Yes, sir.

Half a tin of warm mutton and haricot beans

-while I was cutting the sandwiches.

-Oh.

Middlesbrough?

Nearly right, sir. Me mother is Middlesbrough.

-I'm from Batley.

-Good grief!

-That's right, sir!

I've walked to Groby of a Sunday afternoon many a time.

Me father goes down Batley pit.

Oh.

I'd sometimes hear the picks at night, in my grandfather's time and my father's.

"Chip, chip..."

It came back to me the other night. I thought it was the Germans mining.

Me sister had a comb hanging from the Groby tree.

They say the old cedar will have to come down one of these days soon.

Do they, by God?

-I'll prop up the house if I have to!

-I'll help you, sir!

-It wouldn't be Groby...

-Hm!

I'll remember your sandwiches so long as I live.

Thank you.

EXPLOSION

Those German shells seem to be coming back.

My compliments to the RSM.

-Will you get his fatigue party under cover as soon as they get close?

-Right, sir.

"So that no toast less noble may be drunk from it."

Then, there must be someone you love, sir.

Is she like Minette?

Not exactly like her but, I'm sure, with Minette's best qualities.

Then, you'll get her, sir!

-You'll certainly get her!

-Yes...

Yes, I probably shall...

That's enough time for B Company to get themselves tidied up.

The Germans did over their trench like a dog we once had would do over a drawing room.

Stand to!

GUNFIRE

-Don't leave your shovels in the way when the attack comes.

-Yes, sir. Sorry, sir!

Corporal!

LOUD BANG ECHOES

RAPID GUNFIRE

HE SCREAMS

Sergeant! Stretcher bearer! Stretcher bearer!

You! You're disgustingly filthy. I suppose you have an explanation?

Where the devil is the commanding officer of this battalion?

I am in command, Sir!

I was mad when I sent you out here! I shall send you back.

You can fall out!

GRIFFITHS PLAYS "PASSING BY"

APPLAUSE

ORCHESTRA PLAYS "OSTRICH WALK"

Gerald!

-Don't pretend you hadn't seen me!

-Sylvia!

No, I...

-I've quite got over you, you know.

-Well, that's love, I suppose.

No, I mean hating you! I got over loving you years ago.

You haven't changed at all.

I'm here with a ghastly set.

Would you like to take me on somewhere?

You always were such a brute!

Oh, don't think I'm complaining.

If I told you how long since, you wouldn't believe me.

I'm sure I'm safe, but...

So, why?

My husband may not be returning to me after the war's over.

I don't see why I shouldn't get something out of people taking me for a whore.

I didn't know you hated me.

Why ever not? Funking a divorce and leaving me to hold the baby.

SHE LAUGHS SCORNFULLY

But Michael's growing up into a Tietjens,

so it may have been a panic over nothing.

How does one know?

Tietjens turned out all right.

He was up for a decoration

but General Campion told him there were only a certain number of medals to go round,

and no doubt Tietjens would prefer it to be given to someone who'd get more advantage from it!

Good Lord, you didn't know?

Wounded saving life under-fire, months ago.

How typical. He never tells me anything.

Why aren't you in France, by the way?

Too valuable. I've been in Washington.

American troops are coming over in force now, which means the war is over.

Really over?

By Guy Fawkes day, I'd say.

Really? So, Christopher will be coming home.

Will you come back to bed?

No!

-I can't go through all

-that

-again.

Penny for the guy!

Penny for the guy?

Penny for the guy? Thank you.

WHEELS CLANG LOUDLY

I saw your note too late.

But you came in time!

The doctor's can't be sure how long I have left.

Hold my hand, darling.

Your note about the tree.

Oh! The tree...

Well, I tried to warn you.

Where were you all this time?

Your brother fixed your release from the army weeks ago.

You should've been here to take charge of the estate!

And if you won't,

needs must...

and...

..let the chips fall where they may!

Couldn't you tear yourself away from your mistress?

I was in hospital.

Goodbye, Sylvia.

MOURNFUL MUSIC

CHEERING

Safe!

Safe forever!

Oh!

No more torpedoes!

Guggums!

When I think of the millions that died,

and that imbecile Tietjens strolling home without a scratch!

-Guggums!

-I was absolutely counting on the Germans!

-Guggums!

Suppose he calls in his loans? It would be our ruination!

-Tietjens, impossible as it may be for you to understand -

-Then, don't try to make me!

You sponged off him for thousands, and now he's got you by...

-..by what you singularly lack.

-SHE SIGHS

Since the wife has chosen to reject the hand of friendship I extended to that harlot,

it's time to bring the mistress back into the fold.

-PHONE RINGS

-Oh! Edward!

Is that you, Valentine?

It's Lady Macmaster here.

Edith.

Edith said he has no furniture.

He appeared to be a bit mad.

He's alone.

-He asked about me.

-But he didn't ask for you.

Darling,

Christopher wouldn't ruin you amongst your own people,

not if you begged to be ruined, Valentine!

I'd ruin myself gladly to make him happy for an hour.

I've waited and waited.

I cannot, I will not,

renounce the schooling of my whole life!

But this is mine.

Miss Wannop.

-Did you send for me?

-No.

But I am glad you came.

I heard you were ill.

I'm not too bad, all things considered.

-What is that?

-I'm taking it to Mark.

You can come with me.

How dare you bring Miss Wannop here?

-Are you and Sylvia divorcing?

-No.

What the hell is that?

Sylvia had the tree felled.

I know.

She asked me. I don't give a damn about the tree!

Now perhaps God will change sides.

I will not divorce the mother of my child,

and Sylvia will not divorce me.

I don't care!

I have to bathe and change into my uniform.

If my friends arrive,

you might entertain them.

Darling!

I'm awfully sorry.

Rotten timing for you... both.

I came to tell you that they're going to operate on me tomorrow for a cancer.

Liar! You haven't got a cancer! You're lying!

Well, really!

This is what you do, isn't it?

What can you mean?

Do you know what she means?

Miss Wannop means...

..pulling the strings of the shower-bath.

Oh, Christopher!

Christopher...

..you can't mean it.

Look at her!

Is she a Girl Guide or something?

HE SIGHS

Perhaps you do mean it.

Well...

..I wish you both nothing but happiness.

Please remember me to your charming mother.

LOUD KNOCK AT DOOR

I must see that fellow Tietjens! It's an urgent matter about a sonnet.

Oh, but it's not necessary to shout.

Please, come in.

I'm Captain McKechnie,

formerly second-in-command of the 6th Glamorganshires. The pals!

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Excuse me.

-Good evening!

-Hello.

-It's my CO!

-Good old Colonel Bill, you brought the hooch!

-McKechnie! I thought I'd got rid of you!

Oh. Hello.

BIRDS TWEET

-The Pals!

-Good old McKechnie!

You're the Captain's dear friend. He saved my life.

> Glad to have you back with us.

Wasn't it splendid of Minette to marry me like this?

-We shall all be such friends.

-Hello!

-Our only VC.

-It's the music man! Get yourself over here!

LAUGHTER

They say you're receiving for Tietjens.

He seems to have been sold up!

He's a good, fat old beggar, old Tietjens!

A good officer, one of the best.

-MEN: Here he is!

-Good old Tietjens!

OVERLAPPING CHEERING

Good old Tietjens!

Miss Wannop looking after you?

Bit chilly in here.

Want a fire?

OFFICERS SING # Mademoiselle from Armentieres

# Parlez-vous

# Mademoiselle from Armentieres How d'you do?

# Mademoiselle from Armentieres What a surprise to find you here

# Tell me what to do with You-ou-ou...

Latin hexameters in under three minutes. Whenever your ready!

# Mademoiselle from Armentieres What a surprise to find you here

-# Tell me what to do with you-ou-ou!

-Come on, lads!

# Mademoiselle from Armentieres Parlez-vous

# Mademoiselle from Armentieres How d'you do?

SINGING OVERLAPPED BY GENTLE MUSIC

# Mademoiselle from Armentieres What a surprise to find you here

If I divorce Christopher, will you marry me?

Battalion!

Slow arms!

There will be no more parades!

-Battalion!

-Dismiss!

MEN APPLAUD

# Mademoiselle from Armentieres How d'you do?

# Mademoiselle from Armentieres

# What a surprise To find you here... #

GENTLE MUSIC

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd