A Coming to Terms for Billy Play For Today

-You all right?

-Aye, I'm fine.

-Did I wake you up?

-No, no, I was awake.

-Perhaps you felt a bit sick. Sea-sick.

-No.

-Frightened?

-Me? Frightened?

-Well...apprehensive.

-Nah.

Just wondering.

Well, I'm frightened.

Never been so frightened in my life.

For goodness sake, love, we're big grown up people.

You're not supposed to be terrified of them.

They're only youngsters after all.

But I can't just force myself on them.

I've got win their friendship.

You can't force people to love you.

Come on.

Dirty, great, big Irish breakfast, that's what you want.

Soda bread, tatie bread, egg, bacon, sausage,

smothered in that much sauce it'd make your eyes water.

Sounds revolting!

Come on.

Pity you two couldn't rise as well as this when you're at school.

I want to see what she's like before she's my ma.

-Do you think if we don't like her, my da will not marry her?

-Your dad will please himself.

-I think Billy should be going down to meet them.

-He has work to go to.

Doesn't matter. He could have taken the day off.

Bet my dad would have done it for him.

If Pauline hadn't been around he probably would've went down.

-Yeah, but my dad doesn't know Pauline.

-I'll be with her.

And she's got a car.

I'd rather sit here and get a lift and see our Billy than have to walk.

CLATTER FROM UPSTAIRS

-Uncle Andy's fell out of bed.

-Wonder why he's getting up this time for?

-Maybe he can't wait to see my dad.

-I'm sure!

-I wish I was going to that boat.

-You can tidy this place when we're out.

Oh, thanks a lot. That was worth getting up for.

What are you doing up so early?

I couldn't sleep. Tossed and turned most of the night.

-Are you all excited about meeting my da?

-I can hardly wait.

-Any chance of a cup of tea?

-Aye, Ann will get you it.

-Just call Rent-a-Slave!

-Here, give us a slice of toast and me All Bran.

-Listen to me. Boil that milk now.

-Aye.

Sprinkle the sugar on.

Just don't be dumping it in a big lump in the middle.

HE COUGHS

Will you be lighting that fire before you go out?

Yeah. Maureen, hurry up and finish that and then light the fire.

-It's too warm for a fire. I'm roasting.

-You may be. I'm foundered.

-Do you want marmalade on your toast?

-Is it orange marmalade?

No, it's green made in Dublin.

HE COUGHS

Maureen, go easy.

You're making far too much dust.

CAR HORN HONKS

That'll be Pauline now.

-Right everyone, I'm away. See yous later.

-See ya.

-I'm going to get a car as soon as I'm old enough.

-I'm not.

-I'm going to get a boyfriend with one.

-Jesus, will you listen to it?

Only out of nappies wanting to take advantage of some poor fella.

In the end, there's this one coming today.

I wonder how she got her claws into your da?

Lorna!

-It's great to see you, girl. You're looking great.

-So are you, dad.

-You've put on weight.

-Ah, it's all the good food Mavis has...

Oh, sorry, getting carried away.

Mavis, this is Lorna. Lorna, Mavis.

Pleased to meet you.

-Welcome to Belfast.

-Thanks very much, Lorna. It's lovely to meet you.

Your father's told me such a lot about you

I feel as though I know you quite well already.

-Dad, Mavis, this is Pauline, our Billy's girl.

-Yes, we've said hello.

You're the one's after my wee fella, eh?

Ah, getting more like me now, eh?

-Getting a bit more taste, eh?

-Thank you.

Really pleased to meet you. I heard a lot about you.

Aye.

Billy had to work, I take it?

Yes, I had today off, you see.

Our Pauline having a car and all.

Oh, he's right.

Must look after the work.

Ready?

-Aye.

-Here you are. Go ahead.

Go on. No, no, that's all right.

Uncle Andy, this is Mavis.

Mavis, this is Uncle Andy.

-Come in, come in. Welcome.

-I'm very pleased to meet you, Andy.

-Yes, yes, indeed. Let me take that coat from you there.

-Thank you.

There you are now. You'll feel better without that.

-They're mauling your dad out there.

-Them two are desperate.

Maureen, pack that in, for goodness sake.

Andy.

Mind you, you're a brave-looking invalid.

-Well, I'm going to make the tea.

-I'll give you a hand.

Go and help Pauline make the tea. Billy put it there.

Oh, aye.

A brave lot of water's gone under the bridge since that was took.

-Our sister, Janet.

-She looks very nice.

-A great loss.

Yes, I'm sure it was.

Sit down, love.

It's warm with that fire.

Uncle Andy needed it. He feels the cold.

You can never be sure when you light the fire in the morning

what the day's going to do, eh?

Oh, here's the tea. Lovely.

-Thanks, pet.

-Maureen, move and let dad get his tea.

-Hey!

-What?

-What's this?

You never take a cup and saucer!

You always say saucers are for snobs.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Well, did you have a good crossing then?

Yes, it was very pleasant. Well, I assume it was. We slept.

It certainly seemed perfectly calm this morning.

That can be a right rough stretch of water. Most people fly nowadays.

MAUREEN LAUGHS

What's so funny?

You said most people fly.

Birds and aeroplanes fly, not the people.

Oh, very funny. Ha-ha-ha!

My teacher said language is a tool to be properly used.

Teachers, hah! They think they know everything and they know nothing.

-Mavis, you're a teacher, aren't you?

-Yes. Well, I was. I did teach.

I haven't for some time, but I'm thinking of going back to it.

-More tea, Mavis?

-No, I'm fine for the moment, thank you.

I'll have a drop more, love.

That's lovely cheese, Lorna.

You get that from the corner shop?

No, we stole it from the mousetrap.

Jesus, the house is full of comedians today.

So, you're going to get married then, eh?

No, we are married.

We got married last week.

BELL TOLLS

If we wait much longer, it'll be ruined.

I don't know what's happened to him.

It's maybe a bit of overtime.

Something cropped up at the last minute. These things happen.

-He hasn't done overtime for months.

-Maybe it's just a last-minute thing.

Perhaps he met a friend and they went for a drink.

Well, it's possible he's even forgotten.

Well, there's no point letting four dinners be ruined.

I'll give you a hand.

I wouldn't worry, love. I'm sure he's all right.

Yes, I'm sure he's all right. I'm not worried. Just angry.

-Well, what's she like?

-An auld bat!

-She is not! I like her.

You're lucky. I wish I could trade my ma in and get a new one.

-When are they are getting married?

-They're married already.

They got married in England. She's our ma now.

What about the big wedding? And yous as bridesmaids and all?

-Why don't you shut your trap?

-All right, I'm only joking.

It's not bloody funny! I'm not calling her Ma anyway.

-You'll have to. Da'll make you.

-Oh, will he? That's what you think.

-Our Lorna's mad at you already.

-Even Uncle Andy got dressed up like an eejit just because she's English.

-What's that got to do with it?

I don't know, they'll think it's something special.

I don't want any English woman telling me what to do.

She'll not be here for long, sure.

Once she goes back to England, you can do whatever you like.

-I'm not calling her Ma, that's for sure.

-"Save us Mavis" he calls her.

-They'll probably have other kids of their own anyway.

-Who?

-Your Da and Mavis.

-How can they?

-Same way your ma and da had you. How do you think?

Billy. I didn't expect see you. Is Pauline not with you?

No, I'm on my own.

What do you think of Mavis?

She's nice, isn't she?

-I don't know, I haven't seen her yet.

-What? Why?

I haven't been home yet.

But they're expecting you!

Pauline is cooking something special.

For goodness sake, Billy, why? Why?

I don't know, I can't... I can't...

But they are staying with you!

She's your mother, for goodness sake.

They're married. They got married last week.

I thought he wanted us to meet her before they got married.

Does it matter now? He's married again.

He has nearly stopped drinking. It's all different. We are all different.

Well that's it. I don't think we are. I don't think anything's changed.

What about Pauline? How do you think she feels?

I mean, they're both complete strangers to her

and she is doing this for us.

She's a nice woman, Billy. She likes us and she wants us to like her.

-She knows nothing about us. She doesn't know what went on here.

-It's over, all that.

Mum's dead, all that is in the past.

Aye, well, not for me, it's not.

DOOR OPENS

Is this a private row, or can anybody join in?

Billy. Lorna.

-What the hell is he doing in here?

-Wait a minute, wait a minute, easy.

-Uncle Andy, go out and take John with you.

-We were only after coming in...

-We're talking.

OK, well I'll go away.

Will you get out of here, please?

Way out and have a pint.

Is there anything I can do?

Will you go, for Christ's sake?

-I've never heard you swearing like that before.

-It's not funny.

You've nothing to laugh about!

You've spoiled everything for me, you.

Och, what are you crying about?

Can't you just leave things alone, for once?

How do you think Mavis and Pauline feel?

They're not part of what happened here, and I'm sure they don't want to be.

-Come on, Lorna, you know what I went through.

-What we all went through.

And what we have all tried to get over. Da went through things, too.

He has come back and he's even staying out of his own house.

You've ruined it all.

-Let me give you a hand with the washing up.

-No, please.

I prefer to do it on my own. You two go on.

It was a lovely meal.

-Yes, it was smashing. Lovely.

-Thanks.

Well,

I'll just go and get ready.

-Do you like nursing, then?

-Yes, I do.

I'm not one for hospitals myself. Janet...

Mrs Martin, that's Billy's mother, like, she died up in the City.

-Nobody likes hospitals in those circumstances.

-No.

Does he.... Billy...

-does he ever talk about her?

-Sometimes. Not about her, as such.

-Just about her dying.

-Oh, yes.

It happened at a bad age for him. Well, for them all, really.

-I don't think there is a good age to lose your mother.

-No, that's true.

I remember my own.

-Oh, you're ready.

-Yes.

-Ah. Now we can all go on down.

-We'll not be late. See you later.

-Oh, here.

Billy got that cut just to let you feel free to come and go.

Oh, great. Thanks.

I'll see you later, Pauline. We won't be late.

Ah, jeez.

I know I shouldn't have took a black this time.

-You're one who always says not to change colours in the middle of a set.

-I know, I know,

but I never have any luck with a black.

Ah, jeez.

-Light us one of them fags, will ye?

-I don't want to.

-Don't worry.

What's this new woman to you, then? Eh?

I don't know.

Sure, she'd be my sister-in-law.

Once removed, or something like that.

Very nice woman.

-Qualified teacher, you know.

-She looked it.

Nice. Just the bit of a glance I got.

I'll never know what she sees in him.

Sure, with women, you never know.

Never thought she would be that nice looking, though.

She has got a queer-eyed pair of sticks.

He'll be wearing himself out.

He'll be up for the Blind some morning.

HACKING COUGHS

So that's what you're at?

Honest to God, have you no sense at all?

-You're worse than the youngsters. Do you want to kill yourself?

-I was only having a couple of wee puffs.

Look at the state you're in. As for you...!

-Sorry, Lorna.

-Don't you dare come to this house to make fun of my Dad and Mavis.

-Och, bejeez, it was only a wee joke.

-Well, you'll not sit in my Da's house and make fun of him.

Any more of that and you can pack your bags and get out.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Sorry, Pauline, I...

Where are they?

I'd better apologise.

I just couldn't, er...

It's a lovely evening to...

I thought maybe the four of us could go for a walk.

Is there, um...?

I don't suppose, there's er... anything to eat, is there?

Ah, come on, Pauline.

Look, if you're going to shout, shout.

Throw things, even, but not this.

-Because this is just bloody stupid.

-Stupid, am I?

I'm sorry, Pauline.

TV: 'In a few days' time, these men and women will return to Ulster.

'They will be many times better equipped, both mentally

'and physically, to do the job they have volunteered for.'

Oh, switch it off.

Sure, there is nothing worth a damn on it.

We saw Ian and Valerie up the gardens.

He was pushing a pram, like a big sissy.

There's nothing sissy about that. Sure, it's his baby, too.

That's not a man's job. Wouldn't have done it in my day.

Not unless was forced on you.

It was Englishmen who started all that nonsense.

I like to see a man pushing a pram.

Bet you our Billy won't do it when Pauline has a baby.

Wonder if my Da will do it if Mavis has one?

I think it'll be better, kinder, just to say you had to work overtime.

They'll know it's a lie.

It'll not hurt as much as an inadequate apology.

I was sat in the City Hall grounds, watching the pigeons.

Wondering if any of them knew what had happened.

SHE SNIGGERS

What are you laughing at?

-It sounds like something out of a picture.

-Do you like my Da?

-Dunno.

I didn't hate him on sight.

He seems very timid. Nervous.

Well, that sounds like something out of a picture!

-Going out drinking.

-They just had to get out of here. They said were going out for a stroll.

Och, I don't know why they came over at all. Imagine bringing anybody to Belfast for a holiday.

Don't be silly. It's more than a holiday. They're married. She's your mother. Stepmother.

It's only natural she'd want to meet you all.

-What will I call her?

-Mavis, I suppose.

I'm glad you're on earlies. At least you'll be here when I come in.

Unless I go down to the City Hall to try and read the pigeons' minds.

VOICES IN HALL

Billy, this is Mavis. Mavis, Billy.

I'm very pleased to meet you, Billy. Your father has told me quite a lot about you.

I've been looking forward to it.

Well, it's very nice to meet you, too.

Congratulations on the marriage.

-Look, sit down.

-I'll just put me coat away.

-I'll do that.

Well, I can't believe I've actually walked through the streets of Belfast!

It was so quiet. Ordinary. I was terrified before I came over.

You can go for weeks, unaware of anything happening.

-Listen, why don't I make a cup of tea?

-No, Mr Martin. Sure, I'll do it.

-No, no, I insist.

-But you don't know where everything is.

-Well, now is as good a time as any to learn.

-Why don't you both do it?

Pauline can show you where everything is and I can talk to Billy.

Perfect.

Come on, Pauline.

As a matter of fact,

I was less frightened of the streets of Belfast than of meeting you all.

-Sorry about tonight.

-Oh, I understand.

I don't suppose I know the whole story,

but your father has told me quite a lot.

And he doesn't blame any of you.

Um, how did you meet my Da?

Oh, he was a regular at this pub that my sister and brother-in-law keep.

I was helping out behind the bar and we got talking.

It started soon after he arrived.

Weren't you married before?

Yes, my husband was killed in a car accident.

-You didn't have any children of your own?

-No, but I always wanted some.

Well, maybe it'll be second time lucky.

Yes, well, it has been.

So how long have you and Pauline been together?

-Um, five or six months. Living together.

-She's a nice girl.

Your father has taken a great liking to her.

-He doesn't know her very well.

-No.

But you can usually tell quite soon whether you're going to like somebody or not, can't you?

I think it's better to get to know them before making up your mind.

You're very defensive.

Well, I've had to do a lot of defending.

You know, it takes a big man to admit he's been in the wrong.

It takes an even bigger man, not to have been in the wrong.

Yes, well, I'd like to start from now, not go back into all of that.

I know it's difficult,

but I think it's better if we all just start again.

We don't need to start again. We just need to start.

We dropped into Lowry's when we were out.

That place never changes.

No.

I've been in once or twice with Uncle Andy.

I'm sure more Lorna could have done without him landed on her.

-They are getting on very well. She likes him.

-And he's not well.

-He's never well.

-He helps Ann and Maureen with their homework.

Well, if you want my opinion,

the schools give out far too much homework anyway.

Sure they're glad they're on their holidays.

I always believed in lots of homework when I was teaching.

I think it's very important.

Especially if it encourages parents to take an interest in their children's work.

Of course,

teachers can sometimes overlook,

or be totally unaware of problems in the home.

-You had to work overtime tonight, then?

-What?

-Oh...

-Yes, he had. It doesn't happen very often, so it is hard to refuse.

Well, you don't want to go refusing overtime.

Always do with the extra money, after all.

Mind you, you missed a beautiful dinner.

-Didn't he, love?

-Yes.

Yes, it was a lovely meal.

There'll be lots of other dinners before you go away again.

Maybe we'll have pigeon pie some night.

I never expected Billy to be easy.

Too much happened between us.

It's not up to him.

Look, love, we're not committing a crime.

It's the most natural thing in the world.

Billy doesn't even live there any more.

He's got all he wants here.

I had hoped they'd ask before we even got a chance to put it to them.

Well, maybe they will, if we give them time.

We can always wait.

No, the sooner it's broached, the better.

We agreed on that last night.

Fairness to Lorna.

Listen, in the end, they're just youngsters.

All of them.

-They'll do what they're told.

-I don't want that.

It seemed so simple from over there.

Your Ann doesn't like me, I can sense that.

Ann, doesn't like you? Rubbish.

Ann's my girl. You'll have no problems there.

Look, I'd better get on over there.

Ann?

We're just away down Sandy Row for a few messages. Won't be long.

-Is my dad coming up today?

-I expect he'll be up here sometime.

I've left the door open and the fire lit.

Uncle Andy's still in bed.

-See you later.

-See ya.

-I'm going up to see my dad. Are you coming?

-Where?

-Up to our Billy's flat.

-Way up there?

She'll be here later and I thought you didn't like her.

I don't, but I'm not going an old bat like that

stop me seeing my Da.

I have to tidy the house.

-Well I'm going anyway.

-See you later.

Oh, that's it, that's it.

Keep quiet in case they might hear you and ask for a wee drink.

Oh, it's you.

Thought it was one of the young ones.

Do you always lay in bed half the day and then roar your orders?

I was only asking for a drink of tea. That's no big thing.

Don't bloody well ask me for anything, I'll not make you it.

-I'll see you in hell first.

-I'm not asking you.

I can make it for myself.

Jesus, I'll be in a box behind a horse

before you make me a cup of tea.

-Lorna has enough without running after you morning, noon and night.

-Nobody runs after me.

My children aren't going to do it.

-Where are they, anyway?

-I don't know.

Don't you think it's about time

you were thinking of moving back to your own house?

Me own house?

Just sold it.

Housing executive bought it.

-They've been doing it up.

-What?

You mean you've moved in here permanently?

To my house and I wasn't even asked?

We thought you'd moved out for good.

It's still my name on the rent book.

I still send Lorna money every week and Jesus,

I don't send it to keep the likes of you in tobacco and drink.

I don't touch her money. I've got my own. I pay my way.

And look at that fire. Burning good coal in this weather.

There's no call for that.

I think while I'm over here,

I'll see the welfare about getting you moved into a home.

A home? I don't want no home.

Lorna promised me I could stay here.

Lorna forgot this is my house. You've been here long enough.

You'd gone back to England, you've got a house, what d'you want with this one?

Never you mind where the hell I'm going or what Mavis has got,

not that that's your business.

You've been here long enough.

I'm in and out of hospital all the time.

Next time you're in, stay in.

I'm a sick man. Don't believe me, you just ask that wee girl.

My children had enough of running to hospital when their mother was bad.

I'm not putting them through that again, just you get out of here.

You've sponged on my kids long enough.

-Who are you calling a sponger?

-You, why?

I'm not sponging. I'm giving them a bit, you just ask Lorna.

I'm asking nobody nothing.

I want you out of here.

I don't like you, never did.

Sure it weren't you one of the ones who turned my own son against me?

DOORBELL RINGS

Hello, Ann. It's nice to see you.

-Where's my dad?

-He's just gone down to your house.

You must have virtually passed each other.

I came up over the bridge.

-Where's Pauline and our Billy?

-They're both at work?

So, we're all alone.

-Would you like something? Tea, coffee, juice?

-No.

No, thank you.

You should always be good mannered, even to people you don't like.

I didn't say I didn't like you.

Not in so many words and not to my face.

-I'm not a fool.

-I just didn't expect you to be married, that's all.

I see.

So, do you think you'd have liked me more if we weren't married?

Or perhaps you thought that if you didn't like me,

you could've prevented us getting married. Is that it?

Why don't you say what you're thinking, Ann.

-It would be much better if you did.

-I'm not thinking anything.

Come on, Ann.

I'm not stealing your father from you.

I want us to share him.

We both love him.

-Look, I don't expect you to call me mother, either.

-I wouldn't anyway.

Well, that's all right then.

I don't expect anything from you.

Then why d'you come over here?

Well, to meet you all, obviously.

Your father thought it would be a good idea for us to meet

and get to know each other and, well, who knows.

I mean, if we hadn't come,

you'd have said I was keeping him from you, wouldn't you?

-He could've come over on his own.

-But we're married.

I'm his wife.

Your stepmother.

Now that's not going to change, so you'd better get used to the idea.

Why can't you stay here? Why take him back to England?

Because that is my...

Your father has a job there, he's happy there.

You mean happy without us?

No, no, I don't mean that.

Come on.

Smile, relax, for goodness sake, child.

I'm not a child.

No, no, you're not.

-Hello, Da.

-Hello, love.

-Where's Mavis?

She's up at the flat.

-Have you fell out?

-No, course not.

How was last night?

It was all right, when he finally presented himself.

Did you not get a cup of tea?

No, I'm all right, I don't want any tea.

-You sure?

-No, I'm fine.

-Did you get enough, Uncle Andy?

-I'm all right.

Anyway, can I get 10p?

-Maureen!

-Leave her alone.

Course, love.

-Here.

-50? Can I keep the change?

Course. Tear away there.

-See you, don't you dare do that again.

-She's all right.

It's the holidays.

Anyway, I'm their father.

What did you have to eat, Uncle Andy?

-I had a bit of toast. I'm all right.

-What about your All Bran?

I'm all right this morning.

What have I told you about a proper breakfast.

In the name of Jesus...

Mr Martin. How are you?

I think before I'll go, I'll get swing doors put on there.

Make it easy for the crowds who use this house.

I didn't know.

It was Maureen, she told me to just come on in.

All right, John, no harm done.

I'm going out again.

I'm going to get my coat.

How's things in England then, Mr Martin?

I'm sure if you're interested,

you'll get the weather forecast on the wireless?

There's no need. I'll see you outside.

Go along you filthy old git!

If I'm a filthy git, you're an ignorant one!

The sooner you're away in England, the better.

-Where's our Ann?

-She's coming up the entry.

She's gone up to see your new da and ma.

She's English, she should call her mother.

Anyway, my Da's up in our house.

Hey, Ann, you're bendy.

Cheeky.

-Is my dad there?

-Aye. I told John Fletcher to walk on in.

-He didn't know my Da was there.

-You're a bad wee bitch.

He wasn't in for very long.

-You up to see my mother?

-I was up seeing save-us Mavis.

-She talks dead posh.

-All English people talk posh.

They do not, it's just the way they talk.

-That's what we're saying.

-It's just the way they sound.

-They sound posh to us.

-What did she say to you?

Never you mind.

-Do you want this?

-No, stopped smoking.

-You're a saint.

It's boring in the summer holidays. There's never anything to do.

-It's better than school.

-You're dead right.

Hey, John, I hear you popped in to say hello to my Da.

Hey, listen, you, that is no laughing matter, right.

Don't get as ignorant as your dad. Don't you do that again, young lady.

What do you mean? I did nothing.

What did I do?

-Does John Fletcher still fancy your Lorna?

-He does.

-Too bad, she doesn't fancy him.

-He fancies uncle Andy, now.

You can come too, if you want.

We're not saying you can't.

What would I do in England?

Well, you'll be free to get a job.

Get a place of your own, if you like. A boyfriend.

What about Uncle Andy?

To hell with Uncle Andy.

I've told him it's about time he got out of here.

-What? What did you do that for?

-Because it is.

I'm not sending any more money to keep that old git.

What are you doing, dad?

First, you're taking Ann and Maureen back to England,

and now you're going to throw Uncle Andy out of here.

Why? Why couldn't you just leave us alone?

What are you on about?

They're my youngsters. They need a father and mother.

They managed all right up till now.

That may be, but it's time they had a proper home background.

Is that the only reason you came over here?

Is it just so Mavis can get an instant family?

-Just you watch your tongue.

-Dad, we're happy here.

-Don't spoil things again, please.

-Oh, I see.

I'm still the big bad wolf, hey?

I am spoiling nothing.

I'm offering my children a proper home.

They've got a proper home here.

They're happy here. All their friends are here.

They'd hate England.

So you think they're better off here?

-Shootings and bombings and all the rest of it.

-We belong here dad.

They've never known anything else, that's all.

Look, I'd better get on up there. Mavis is on her own.

Are you going to report back that your mission's been successful?

There's no call for that.

Isn't there?

What have you got to cry about?

They're tears of joy

because you're taking the youngsters off my hands.

Thank Mavis for me, tell her it's what I've always wanted.

-Look, Lorna.

-You're going to throw Uncle Andy out of her, as well.

Is there no end to your good works?

Listen to me, girl, I don't have to stand and listen to...

Hello, Da.

Hello, love.

I was up seeing Mavis this morning.

Oh, what she pleased to see you?

Listen, you two, come here.

Come on.

-How would you two like to come over to England?

-England? Aye.

Do you mean for a holiday? With Billy and Lorna?

And Pauline and Uncle Andy?

No, dad means just you two and it's not for a holiday.

It's to live there for good.

Lorna can come too, if she wants.

-I don't.

-I don't want to go.

I don't want to live in England, especially with her.

Her? Who's her?

You're talking about my wife, your mother.

Our Billy calls her...

Shut up, Maureen.

Mavis, is your mother and that's what you call her.

And another thing, you'll do as you're bloody well told. All of you.

Please dad, I don't want to go to England.

If I say you're going to England, you're going and that's that.

I want to go.

-There we are.

-Cheers.

-This is great.

-Busy day?

-They're all busy.

I had a man died today with the same thing Andy has.

-Oh, so he really is sick.

-Andy? Yes.

I didn't realise he was really ill.

Norman gave me the impression he was malingering.

No, Andy would give anybody that impression, but he is ill.

You down the house tonight?

No, Norman went down mid-morning but he's not back yet.

Can't imagine what's keeping him.

Maybe he's playing draughts with Andy.

Doubt he'll be playing anything with Andy.

Have you been stuck here all day on your own?

Oh, I don't mind.

Young Ann called up.

A visit from Ann? That's quite an honour.

-She must like you after all.

-So, you noticed it too, did you?

No, quite the contrary.

She'll come round. She adores Norman.

They're all remarkable, considering what they've been through.

But they haven't all escaped unscathed, believe me.

You're telling me!

I'd better get started.

If you told me what you were going to do, I could've had it prepared.

Do you know something? Do you fancy being reckless?

Why don't we leave something

for Norman and Billy and go out and have a meal?

-It sounds wonderful, but should we?

-Why not?

Norman might not be very pleased.

Good.

Come on in, John.

Don't be overwhelmed by the welcome.

They're just excited.

Your da was going well down in Laverys.

Having it back rightly, so he was. Wouldn't think of asking us.

He looked like a man in a hurry to get drunk.

If you'll excuse us, John, we're just about to have our dinner.

Hold on, hold on a wee minute. There's time for a quick game.

It's stew. It's ready now.

Stew's all right. It'll keep on a low light.

It's ready now and we're going to eat it now.

Without strangers getting down our throats.

In the name of Jesus.

I'll have to check and see if there's anybody in this house

hasn't insulted that man.

I'm more than worried about this than the feelings of John Fletcher.

You're so concerned, you run after him.

Maybe he'll put you up when dad throws you out.

Listen, love.

It's not the end of the world, you know?

I mean, well...

You're not to get yourself all worked up on my account.

-Where's Pauline and Mavis?

-Out.

Out? Anything wrong?

Aye!

What happened?

I near cut the finger off myself on that bastard soup tin in there,

that's what happened.

Soup tin? What's going on?

It's on a low light.

-Lucky enough, I suppose, it's tomato.

-Where are they?

They left that note.

They've been out for a meal?

Thought I'd been forgiven for last night.

Suppose this is Pauline's way of getting back at me.

Spiteful, hey?

That'll be the Fenian blood in her. What did I do?

What sickens me is, they didn't even have the sense to open the tin

and empty the soup out into the friggin' pot.

That's women for you.

-Will you want bread with it?

-Aye.

Does Pauline make a habit of this?

-No, does Mavis?

-How the hell would I know? We're only married.

This is the first time... and the last.

-She seems to be a woman with a mind of her own.

-Aye.

Well, she should remember, minds are kept inside our head.

And heads can be knocked off.

-You been drinking?

-So what?

-Oh, I thought you'd stopped.

-Not at all. I still enjoy a pint.

Aye.

I might have this soup.

-That's no meal for you after a day's work.

-I'll survive.

Mm. If I go out and do a day's work,

I expect a proper meal at the end of it. That was one thing about your mother.

-Maureen works hard too! You want bread with this?

-Aye.

Give us just a few slices, just to dip in.

No butter.

I don't drink the way I used to.

None of the old fighting or anything like that, you know?

That's all over and done with. Mavis would never stand for it.

No, none of that's ever going to happen again.

-Do you take salt?

-Nah.

No! Not in tomato soup!

Right...

You say Lorna and that shite are getting on all right?

Andy? Fine, yes.

I was thinking of telling him to go.

Go where?

Where ever the hell he friggin' well likes. That's his problem.

-He's a sick man.

-Sick, my arse. If he's that bad, he should be in hospital.

-He's been in and out a couple of times.

-She has her own life.

She can't be tying herself down with him.

Lorna knows what she wants. Anyway, she wouldn't let him go.

It's my house, not Lorna's.

You and Mavis going to move back in?

-That's not the point.

-What is?

The point is, I should be able to do what I like with what's mine.

Well, my advice is to leave him alone.

I didn't ask you.

I was thinking of taking the two young ones back with me.

What do you think?

Well, great.

Holiday'll do them good.

What about Lorna?

Lorna doesn't want to come.

If it's Uncle Andy, we can maybe do something.

Unless you want to take him?

-It's not a holiday.

-What do you expect in Belfast?

No, no, not that. I'm not talking about that. The kids.

It's not a holiday, I'm taking them back for good.

Well?

Have you told this to Lorna?

I put it to her this morning.

And did she agree?

I didn't ask to agree, just told her what I'm doing.

Well?

-I'm going to wash the dishes.

-Is that all you can say?

-What else do you want?

-An opinion, for once.

You're wrong on everything you're planning to do.

-Is that so?

-You talk about Lorna leading her own life. That's what she does.

That house, those kids and now Andy as well.

That's no life for any...

It's her life. And now you've got to walk back in and destroy everything?

Destroy nothing!

I'm taking my kids back and giving them a proper home with a proper mother and father.

Is that destroying?

You can't give two children to your new wife as if they're ornaments.

-Don't talk shite.

-Why don't you have a kid of your own?!

Mavis can't have children.

Well, why don't you adopt one, then?

She doesn't want to adopt anybody.

She's a mother of four children now.

If she wants two of them back in England with her, she's every right.

-What about our rights?

-Your...?!

You're living here with your girlfriend, that's your rights.

-What do you mean?

-I mean, you don't even live there any more.

All this is between me and Lorna. Not you.

-Anybody in?

-Shh!

THEY LAUGH

-Are you two on your own?

-We've come to take you out on the town.

On the town?

We decided to go for a couple of drinks and make a night of it.

-Where's Dad and Billy?

-Your father didn't come back this morning.

Pauline and I decided I spend enough time on my own.

-We left them a tin of soup.

-They'll not be too pleased.

-Tough!

I can just imagine Dad and our Billy stuck together with a tin of soup.

What time did your father leave this morning?

It was early. After lunchtime.

As early as that? Where on earth's he got to?

We'll know soon enough. Get your coat, Lorna.

I couldn't, Pauline. Not the night, not like this.

We insist. And we will wait until you get ready.

What about the kids?

He's big enough to look after things for a couple of hours.

And there's Uncle Andy...

Go and get ready.

All right. I'll not be long.

-I'd run away.

-Run away? Where to?

Anywhere. There's places.

-Would you come with me?

-Me? What for?

She can always try to make me go to England.

Wish they were, like. Think of all those lovely English fellas.

That's all you ever think about, boys.

Places like Wolverhampton and all. I know somebody from there.

-Come right now. Lorna's gone out.

-Where's she gone?

-Somewhere with Pauline and Mavis.

-Is Mavis in our house?

Yes, and you've to come on your own, nobody's allowed in.

I don't want in. I'm lumbering the night, anyway.

-Who are you lumbering?

-That new fella at the bottom of the street.

-He's a drip! He'll lumber anything.

-He's got a squint.

The hell he has not. It's deliberate.

He does that with his eyes. It's dead sexy.

-They're in the doorway, come on.

-See you.

-See you.

Tell Squinty I was asking about him.

I'll give you a squint, wee girl!

-Do you really want to go to England?

-Aye, it'll be brilliant.

-And just leave our Billy and Lorna?

-Sure, Billy's with Pauline.

And my da said our Lorna could come. But she doesn't want to.

-She doesn't want us to go.

-I'm going.

I'll be glad to get away from this street.

If you're going, me da'll make me go.

-Why do you want to stay here?

-What will we do over there?

They'll make fun of us at school because of the way we talk and the teachers will pick on us.

Sure, they pick on us here and we don't talk funny.

They hate the Irish over there. We'll probably get beat up.

-They didn't beat my da.

-That's just cause they couldn't.

Anyway, we're not Irish, we're Protestants.

-Don't be daft. We're Irish as well.

-No, we're not. I'm not, anyway.

And another thing - Mavis is English and she's our mother now.

Will you stop calling her that? She's not our ma. Our ma's dead.

We've got a new one and I like her and I'm going to England with her.

-You can go, I'm not.

-I don't care. Anyway, me da'll make you go.

That's what you think.

You're just jealous cos she's married to my da

and you're Daddy's wee baby.

Say that again, I'll break your face!

Hey, all right! I didn't mean it. Don't get excited.

That wasn't bad at all. I prefer tomato soup, mind you.

A cup of tea now would just round it off.

I had to dress your father's wound before they went out.

Pity you haven't been opening that tin with his mouth.

That's an incredibly cruel thing to say!

It was an incredibly cruel thing leaving me with him,

then taking Lorna out and getting her pissed.

She wasn't pissed. Anyway, she needed the break.

He'll take the kids away, you know.

What's going to happen to Lorna once Andy has died

and the kids have grown up and left?

-She'll just carry on.

-Carry on doing what?

She needs to get out of the house, get a job, start leading her own life.

-Did you talk to her about that last night?

-Yes, we both did.

Lorna'd had a row with your father,

so her and Mavis were a bit embarrassed at first.

But Mavis is really nice.

Yeah, if coming over to steal your sisters is really nice(!)

-Rubbish. Do you want Lorna to end up an old maid?

-Ach...

You tend to see everything in relation to your row with your father.

My row with my father? You and Mavis know nothing about it.

Just cos he's putting on his big "I'm a nice guy" act for Mavis,

you think we're exaggerating.

-I didn't say that.

-No, you don't have to. It's written all over your face, Pauline.

Just keep out of it.

Billy, I think Lorna needs to strike out on her own.

Don't talk about her as if she's an idiot. You're all like that.

Lorna can think for herself.

-All I'm saying is...

-Look, just get over it, Pauline.

You led a normal life, you don't know what it was like for us.

Don't be melodramatic.

Where are you going?

-Out.

-Out? Where to?

-Mind your own business.

-Billy, you're being ridiculous.

First it was melodramatic, now it's ridiculous?

-I'll go before you run out of big words.

-I'm on your side.

Your trouble is you don't even know what my side is.

What do the youngsters themselves think?

Maureen wants to go, Ann doesn't.

See, the young one doesn't know any better.

He's going well, taking the kids away and throwing me out.

Ach, he'll not throw you out.

Ohh...

Anyway, England's no place for youngsters.

It's full of sex perverts and murderers.

-Mavis and Pauline seem to think it wouldn't be such a bad idea.

-Huh!

They say I could get a job and lead my own life.

Oh? And whose life do they think you're leading at the minute?

That pair! One of them's never had children, the other can't have them.

A hell of a lot they'd know between them(!)

Well, anyhow, better get ready.

Get down the road for a pint.

-Billy? Is Pauline not with you?

-No.

Is anything the matter?

Yeah, I want to have a talk to you about my da and the kids.

I don't think there's much to say. Seems to have his mind made up.

-You know he's throwing me out as well?

-He'll not throw you out.

I don't know. Nobody seems too worried about...

He'll not do anything, he didn't mean it.

Well, I know your da better than that.

Why did he say it, if he didn't mean it? Eh?

Oh, no. You can't answer that.

Oh, aye...

-I'm supposed to be going for a pint. You coming?

-No!

Go on ahead.

Oh.

-What are you going to do?

-What can I do?

Ann says she's not going.

Ann? I'd have expected it the other way round.

-She doesn't like Mavis.

-There's going to be a club for that soon.

I like her, Billy. I can understand what she's trying to do.

She thinks it's in my best interests in the long run.

Well, how do you feel about that?

I just don't know what I'm going to do without them.

I've no right to feel that way.

I just can't imagine this place without them.

Why didn't he stay an alcoholic?

He's right, though.

I mean, he is their father and now Mavis is their mother.

What they're doing is right.

All very well for Pauline and Mavis. They don't know what he was like.

Mavis would have married him if she'd known that?

Maybe it's about time we told her the whole story.

Even if I could, I wouldn't.

She's the best thing that ever happened to him.

And the children are important to them.

You know this...

Last night with Mavis and Pauline,

for the first time in my life I felt like a real person.

Ach...

I think you just enjoyed getting drunk.

For all that it took!

I think I'd have felt drunk if I'd just been drinking water.

-Where's Ann?

-Following the bands or something.

-What bands?

-I don't know, a couple of bands have arrived.

You see that wee girl? That Joan one's a bad influence.

She spends half her time chasing wee fellas

and the other half up the entry with them.

-I'm going down to the corner.

-Don't you go any further, now.

-Look, why don't we tell him they're just not going?

-I can't.

-Why not?

Because it wouldn't make any difference!

Look, it's not right!

After all he's done, he's just going to walk back in and wreck things again?

Well, he shouldn't get away with it.

-I saw my first Orange band tonight.

-Yes, I heard one earlier.

We should have come over for The Twelfth.

Oh, I'm sorry, love.

Not at all. Sure, I don't mind.

Many a time I've stood and watched them myself.

I was surprised at how young they were.

I'd always imagined them to be dour, middle-aged men.

-Were you ever a Orangeman, Norman?

-No. Old fella was, though.

He never missed The Twelfth.

Why did you never join, Mr Morton?

Not really a joiner, I suppose.

I remember taking Billy to the field once, though.

Aye, he was only a wee toddler at the time. Lovely sunny day, it was.

I had to carry him on my shoulders most of the way.

Sweat was running down my back, I thought he'd peed himself!

Perhaps we can come back for it next year. I'd love to see it.

Aye, we'll do that.

You can try carrying Billy on your shoulders again.

-DOOR CLOSES

-Hello, Pauline!

Darling.

Hello, Mummy and Daddy.

Hello, Billy.

You're very quiet. I always thought kidnappers would be noisy people.

I think you could use a strong cup of black coffee.

Oh, what could I use it for?

Mavis, come on. Leave the coffee, we're going to bed.

Go ahead.

-Come on, young honeymooners, we understand.

-Shut up, Billy.

Not that we've ever been on honeymoon ourselves.

We can't get married. Northern Ireland, you see.

Different religions. But we enjoy sex, don't we, love?

-In the name of Jesus, boy!

-Norman, you go on in. I'll see to Billy.

You'll not put up with that. Stupid wee frigger's drunk.

Better do what he says. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.

Go on, Mr Morton. Mavis, I'll see to Billy.

You see how popular I am?

They're afraid of leaving us two together, you know?

You see, my last Mummy had a wee...

Listen, you! I'll only stand so much.

Any more of that and I'll break your friggin' neck!

You'll not throw me out this time. This time it's my place.

-Right!

-Will you go to bed? I can take care of myself.

I reckon we've got two sex maniacs here.

Are you going to shut that wee frigger up before I do?

Go on ahead, would you? The woman wants to finish her honeymoon.

She'll maybe have a kid of her own and not have to kidnap my sisters!

I'm sorry, Pauline.

Uncle Andy, how am I going to say goodbye to those two?

You'll come through it, love.

It's easy, you've come through worse than that.

Mind you, there'll be a few tears.

Why not? No shame in that. Be a bigger shame if there weren't.

-I know she'll be good to them.

-Aye, of course she will.

Mind you, she'll be strict. She's a strong woman, though.

-Ah, but it's Ann I'm worried about.

-Ah...

If she was keen to go, I'd feel better, you know?

I wouldn't worry my head about that one. Ann?

She'll survive the end of the world, that one.

You want them to go, don't you?

I'd rather they left me than me leave them.

Oh!

Billy.

Goodness, you gave me a fright.

Can't you sleep?

You should have hit me harder.

Knocked me out.

I will if you're ever as silly again.

Would you like a cup of tea?

-Yes, please.

-In here or out there?

Out here.

I'm sorry about that earlier.

Sorry just about what you said to me

or about what you said to your father as well?

About it all.

Well, why don't you tell your father that tomorrow?

Ah, my da wouldn't know how to accept an apology.

SHE LAUGHS

Honestly, you two!

If he was 25 years younger or you were 25 years older,

you could pose as twins.

I've heard of some reasons for not apologising

but that just about beats them all.

-You must wonder what you've let yourself into.

-Oh, I can cope.

We'll all get to know each other much more quickly this way.

Unless we fall out.

I don't believe in falling out, Billy.

I believe in facing up to things and sorting them out.

-You know Ann doesn't want to go with you.

-Yes, I do.

And if she gets any more encouragement from you,

she'll be even more determined not to go.

She shouldn't be forced to go.

Oh, come on, now, Billy.

I'm sure you and Lorna have had to force her to do things before now.

-That's different.

-Yes, it is. It's different.

It doesn't involve your father appearing to win over you.

Ach, I don't care about that.

I care about Ann, I care about Lorna, and what they want should be considered.

Billy, we're not complete fools.

There is no earthly way those kids can leave

without them and Lorna being hurt,

-but I feel it has to be done.

-Why?

-Don't shout.

We feel that we can offer them quite a lot

and ultimately, it will be good for Lorna.

-Oh, and how do you know that?

-Because I'm a woman.

Because I feel that life should have more to offer her

than the burdens of child-rearing and looking after a sick old man.

-Oh, yeah, you've got it all worked out.

-No, not all of it.

I don't want to leave here having made an enemy of you.

I want to feel that we can come back and that you and Pauline will visit us.

Pauline wants to come. And she's big enough to do it on her own.

Aye, well, she'll probably have to.

You're getting aggressive again, Billy.

-I'm going back to bed.

-Would you like some more tea?

-What?

You can have a fraction of a cup.

I've noticed that you and your father are great ones for that.

Half, three-quarters.

Two-thirds.

Whatever you like.

Aye, all right.

How much?

Two-thirds.

-Ian, all right?

-Billy, what about you?

I'm supposed to meet my da in here. Have you seen him?

Yer da?

No.

Want another one?

Go on, I'll have a pint.

That's the same again, a pint of lager.

Hey! Has Valerie been thumping you?

I rowed with your da.

Well, if you won, I wouldn't like to see the state of him.

Hey, look, I was going well, right? I was going well.

-Then I slid and that bastard stuck the boot in.

-What were you rowing about?

Me and her's not getting on.

If she could walk up her mouth,

she'd win the bloody Olympic marathon.

Yap, yap, yap, yap. She never shuts bloody up.

Ach, sure, what business is that of his?

Ach...

It's nothing.

Hope it's not.

-I've been messing about a bit with Shirley.

-Oh...

Valerie found out and told yer da.

Ah, so marriage isn't great, eh?

Jesus.

Biggest mistake of my life.

I tell ye, sometimes I feel like...

just jumping from the top of that bloody ladder.

-Ach, well, yer still at the windaes, then?

-Aye.

And the dole too. Can't make enough with the auld windaes.

Hey, if you're caught, that's six months up the Crumlin Road.

Would you write in and report me?

-Six months in jail would get my bloody head straight.

-Aw, that bad?

Worse.

Cheers.

Oh, Christ.

There's your bloody da. He's got Big Davie wi' him too.

Hey, you, get away home the hell outta this.

Hey, he's having a drink with me, all right?

I'm not talking to you, Martin.

Look, er, Billy. Sorry, I'd better get the hell outta this.

You'll not. Look, I paid for that pint. Just drink it up.

-Our Valerie's sitting waiting for you.

-She can wait five minutes till he's finished his drink.

This is none of your business, Martin.

Look, I'm having a quiet drink, will you just get lost?

-You going to make me?

-Aye, certainly.

Here now, take it easy, lads. Take it easy.

You know, you're too quick to rise, Billy. Like yer da.

I'm talking to you and I want that git out of the way.

Well, there's two of yous, two of us.

Ah, Jesus. Now, hey, just a minute. Billy...

Never mind, this has bugger all to do with you

-but you don't frighten me.

-I don't have to frighten you, son.

I can just take you outside and tear you apart.

-Aye, you can try.

-Come on, now, lads. For Christ's sake, Billy.

Shut you up or I'll drop you.

Now, your da and me used to be good mates, son, but don't push it.

You leave my da out of it. If he doesn't move, I'll move him

and you can do what the hell you like about it.

-If you lay a finger on Tommy, I'll cripple you, son.

-Well, cripple me.

You know the only reason you two's in the UDA

and not the Salvation Army is cos you can't sing.

You cheeky wee bastard.

I'll leave you so's that Fenian nurse of yours won't recognise you.

-I'd better go home to Valerie.

-You stay there.

-I've warned you.

Billy!

What's going on?

-What about you, Norman?

-What's going on?

Yer wee lad here's getting ambitious.

He wants to have a go at me.

-Three of you?

-Hey, look, it's not me, Mr Martin.

Look, I'm with Billy here. I'm just rushing home to the wife.

So, it's you and this shite, eh?

You game, son?

-Aye, I'm game, da.

-Jeez, I wouldn't have missed this for anything.

On you go, son.

Right, you two, outside.

Hold it, Norman.

The wee lad, no probs. You on your own, just maybe.

But the two of you together, no way.

Are you backing down?

Put it whatever way you like, but I'm not taking the two of yous.

What about him?

Ah, well, he's sorry he started all this

and he want to buy you a drink to apologise.

Four pints, is it?

Five.

You settle for a pint, son?

One?

You bloody Martins. I'll buy the next one.

Five pints, please.

BOTH LAUGH

I thought Big Davie was going to cry when you hit him!

I'd told ya, never negotiate with the likes of them.

Jeez, we learned that much from Chamberlain.

Round here, the hard men are the ones who get the first dig in.

Anyway, didn't take you long to finish off Agnew.

Ach, no problems.

Hey, I couldn't, like. You know, and all that.

Ah, sure. You'd have spoilt the Martin double act.

-We only wanted you to hang the coats.

-Honestly!

-Fighting like silly big youngsters.

-Oh, big youngsters, eh?

I'd love to see the big youngsters who could fight like us.

I don't know what Mavis is going to say, and Pauline.

Davie's a sleekit big git, so he is. Oh, I know what his game was.

He'd have filled us full of drink

and then got half a dozen of his mates in.

We'd have been kicked round the streets. Davie forgets him and me

-were drinking buddies. I know his tricks.

-Put the heart across me.

I thought you were fighting each other.

Fighting each other? If we'd been fighting each other,

-you'd have to carry him in.

-Away with yourself!

What's Pauline going to say to you?

That she should beat the tripe out of me.

LAUGHTER

I couldn't care les!

Hey, all the same, I'd better go.

It's a big day tomorrow, you know?

Work and that.

Make sure you're up and away before Tommy gets hold of you.

What? Sure, I didn't have them.

No, neither did he. That's the trouble.

-Here, look. Thanks. Thanks a lot, guys.

-See you.

-I'll see yous again.

-Aye, see you, son.

-I'll see you.

-More tea?

-No, no, love. Here, hey.

-We'd better get up them two women, eh? You ready?

-Aye.

-Come on.

Well, it's really great to see you two together again.

-Even if you are big hooligans.

-Hold, now, the night's young yet.

-We could still have a barney.

-Hey, watch it, you!

Just cos you stuck a lucky one on Big Davie, don't be getting ambitious.

-You watch it too.

-For God's sake! LAUGHTER

Swear to God and hope to die.

I will not! Not on a Sunday. Look, I've told you, we're friends now.

-And when will you be over?

-For Christmas.

Christmas?! That's not for ages!

-Will Pauline be with you?

-Of course.

So, will we get one dead dear present, or two cheap ones?

We'll have to see how you behave, won't we?

Will Lorna and Uncle Andy get over too?

Well, not all at once. I mean, er...

It'll probably be too cold for Andy at Christmas,

but he'll be over at Easter and next summer.

-Will you write to me, Billy?

-Aye, sure.

-Pauline and Lorna will write to you too.

-What about me?