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Episode 1 Scúp

Episode 1

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Transcript

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This programme contains some strong language

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PHONE RINGS

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MUSIC: "What'll I do" by Lisa Hannigan

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If you could just come down here for me...

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All right, just one more. All right, come on, smile. It's not for ever!

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Yes, it is!

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OK. You're good to go.

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I owe you big time!

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Go on, give us a smile!

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APPLAUSE

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Speech, speech!

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If everyone wants to make their way over to the reception,

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you know where that is,

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we need to drop our bags off at our honeymoon suite.

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And thanks to Alix, we have no idea where that is.

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Because it's my surprise! But you are going to love it.

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So, come on!

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APPLAUSE

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And...open.

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What am I looking for?

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Rory! Look!

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My God, it is! Rory!

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Oh, you little devil!

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Is it OK? Are you sure?

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-Yes!

-We spent our first night together here five years ago.

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Six!

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-And you remembered?

-Of course I remembered.

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You didn't stop talking about him for six months.

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It's perfect, Alix.

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Thank you.

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Well, don't just sit there. I've got some serious dancing to do.

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Double-booked, my arse!

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Lovely, in this day and age(!) Yeah, thanks(!)

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-Bloody, bloody...

-It's OK.

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-It's fine.

-Is everything OK?

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-No room at the inn.

-Double-booked.

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-Double-booked, my arse!

-But if he isn't...

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Oh.

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Right, well, they can't get away with that, not in this day and age.

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Alix, please! We'll go somewhere else. It's not a problem.

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-We wouldn't want to stay there now, anyway. Sorry.

-No, I'M sorry.

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-KNOCKING AT DOOR She hasn't changed.

-Not a bit.

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FOOTSTEPS

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HE WOLF WHISTLES

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MOBILE RINGS

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-No.

-No?

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No.

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Corked.

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But...

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It's corked.

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Very good, sir.

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Sir. With the compliments of the manager.

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Oh.

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Well.

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I think I'm getting room service.

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-CORK POPS

-Yee-ha!

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THEY LAUGH

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Whoo!

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SHUTTER CLICKS

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Ooh.

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HE CHUCKLES

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So...

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HE LAUGHS SHE SQUEALS

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Please, you have got to go on record with this. It's just a few quotes.

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You can't let an old bigot like that get away with it.

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-Please, Alix, just let it lie.

-If you let it lie, it'll happen again.

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And yet they seem to want to let it lie.

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Excuse me?

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What's it got to do with you?

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Nothing, but the fact that you're shouting in my ear.

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-Well said, that man.

-Eyes front! You're married now.

-I know.

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-Those days are gone.

-I'm sorry, what's your name, again?

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Well, I haven't told you it yet. But you can call me Pete.

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"But you can call me Pete."

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I don't think you understand.

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See, I am on a very important story, so if you don't mind, Pete...

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You two have got to learn to stand up for yourselves!

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-LIFT PINGS

-See, I'm actually

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-a very good listener.

-What?

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-Well, that's what I do. That's what I'm paid to do.

-I'm not so sure.

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Oh, hi, Alix.

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-Hi. Alix.

-Joe.

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Oh, this is...

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-I'm Pete.

-Pete. Joe.

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-Hi, Pete.

-Hi.

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So, have you heard from Rob?

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No, Janine, I haven't. He's...

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incommunicado, and he hasn't called.

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Why? Have you?

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No. Why would he ring me?

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HE WHISPERS Yeah, let's go.

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-Good night.

-Night.

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-Who's Rob?

-No-one.

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Really.

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You forgot my name, didn't you?

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I did.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Well, maybe you'll remember it now.

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I think we should go and get that kebab.

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One second!

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SHE LAUGHS

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TEXT ALERT

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HE CLEARS THROAT

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Gerry! Gerry, no!

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-Oh, Jesus!

-HE GROANS

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You're lifted, mate!

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Oh.

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Hi.

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HEAVING, SPLATTERING

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HEAVING, SPLATTERING

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Knock-knock.

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Alix.

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So...

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Are yous reduced to doing parking tickets now?

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Your back tyre's on a double yellow, and your tax is out of date.

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Hi, Alix. It's Pete.

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Hi, Pete.

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I was just leaving you my number, there.

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You managed to escape last night without it.

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Well, how did you know this was my car?

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Well, isn't that illegal?

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