Clues The Singing Detective

This programme contains strong language.

WOMAN SINGING IN THE DISTANCE

-#

-..That's our last night

-#

-My Lili of the lamplight

-#

-My own Lili Marlene.

-#

GEORGE'S LOUD LAUGHTER CONTINUES

# Bei mir bist du schon,

# Please let me explain

# Bei mir bist du schon Means that you're grand... #

Rungs!

Well, what do you think of it, Philip? Bit of all right? Eh?

UNCLE JOHN: Let's hear it, Dad.

-Mournful,

-I

-call it. Lift the lid up properly.

Blimey, you DO keep on! Well, the nipper won't have seen it, will he?

He won't have seen nothing like that in them bleedin' trees.

Come on, Philip. Look at this.

-Good, yunnit?

-Oh arrr!

John!

Only pulling his leg, eh? > Watch the hole, Philip.

Always keep your eyes on the hole.

John! Depends whose, don't it?

Stop that!

Look, see the hole in the middle,

round and round to the hole in the middle, and hey presto...!

-What do you think of the gramophone?

-It's good, yunnit?

-Yunnit?!

You don't come from 'Ammersmith, by any chance?

-He's very broad sometimes.

-I can't understand him!

I byunt going to talk much. I byunt going to talk at all.

Some of the things he says!

You won't get far by pointing!

He didn't want to come. I don't think he likes the idea of London.

It's the best place there is.

-Not like whum though, be it?

-What's he say?

-He says it's not like home.

-There yunt no place like the forest. Where cost thou up here?

Where be the trees? The oaks and the elms and the beech? You tell I that!

Ravenscourt Park, there's a couple of trees there.

And Barnes Common.

I can't understand a word he says.

Show him the gas taps.

He might shove his head in the oven!

Show him. It's new, all new. Open his eyes, it will.

-And the flush. No burying shit in the garden here.

-Language!

If he don't hear no worse than that...

What about the trolley buses?

And the underground. Trains running under the ground. It's true!

The way that boy looks at you!

-He doesn't blink.

-Philip! It's rude to stare. Stop it.

You'll be able to go to the pictures and everything.

Now the V-2s have stopped coming over.

He'll be a proper little Londoner in time. Do you like football?

Eh? What cat got your tongue?

-Philip, answer when you're spoken to.

-When's Our Dad coming?

When?

(What are you going to say, Betty? What are you going to tell him?)

Soon.

Soon, Philip.

WHEN?

Soon. Sometime soon.

..I expect.

'A good detective doesn't go by the book. No, sir.

'But he has to have a few rules to help him chew the cup-cake.

'First off, never...

'Never trust your client.'

Listen, God, I promise to be good if you'll let I off.

I'll be without nern a spot and without nern a sin. I didn't mean to do it, God. Honest!

'Honest.'

-They come and go, don't they?

-We don't talk about that, do we?

Why not? Is the working assumption here that none of us is mortal?

< Nurse!

Please...a word, nurse.

Listen.

If that squad of people had got to him 30 seconds earlier,

-would it have made any difference?

-Who knows?

Nurse! >

Oh, Nurse Mills. Sweet Nurse Mills.

I'd love...

'Oy! Oy!

'Charlie!'

Fag.

'Ere, I'm dying for one, I tell you.

Sorry about that, George.

-Sorry, George.

-Still talking to yourself, are you, Philip?

Who's George?

Of course, I do. It's more civilised than the conversations I used to have. Why are you here?

-What a disgusting disease.

-Thank you.

-You look like a scabby leper. What's all that grease?

-It's from a garage.

-They said you were getting better.

-I am.

-What do you want? Why are you here?

-I'm not sure. Perhaps I've just come to gloat.

-It isn't the visiting hour.

-I know.

-They let you in?

Well, they didn't seem to mind... much. I smiled very sweetly.

-As ever.

-What do you mean?

There was a patient in here and his wife wanted to visit him after SHE had swallowed 364 aspirins.

-This was at 6.20. They asked her to wait ten minutes.

-What?

Visiting time is at 6.30.

Oh, I see. A joke.

Sit down, by all means. Keep the laughs coming.

-I did come once before.

-Yes.

-They told you?

-I wasn't really asleep. I knew you were there.

-I see.

You know, Nicola, you are, without any shadow of a doubt,

an exceptionally beautiful woman, at the very peak of her nubility.

That sounds like a death sentence.

-It IS a death sentence.

-Listen to me.

-I've been in here for three months. Guess how you spend that time, flat on your back?

-Go off your head?

-You THINK.

-But about what?

-Everything.

-But...

-But what?

Do you think about us?

-Us?

-You and me.

Sex, do you mean?

Amongst other things, yes. If you like.

Sex.

It has been known to happen between us.

And I miss it. With you, I mean.

Nicola.

Yes?

The plain fact is that you are a filthy, predatory and totally wanton bitch who is always on heat.

I do not wish to see you, ever.

What if I said I loved you?

-Liar.

-What if I said I wanted you back?

-Liar.

There are some things to discuss.

-No.

-You're hard up.

You haven't got a penny. You haven't put pen to paper for 15 months!

-I know that.

-I don't need a pen or paper.

-You write on water(!)

-Shut up!

God!

Go, will you? Just bloody well go!

A film production company wants to take out some sort of option on that first book of yours.

-What?

-The one about the detective that sings in the dance band.

-Al Pacino and Max Bygraves will star in it(?)

-This is serious!

Options! That means they offer you a pittance now for the right to rip you off later on!

They're very keen, apparently.

-What has this got to do with you? What do you know about it?

-I want you to be able to support yourself.

-You what?

-I'm worried about you.

-Ah, I see. You still consider that I owe you money.

-No, I don't.

-I imagine that it would work out at £200 a screw, the top rate for hookers nowadays.

-I wouldn't know.

Tell me,

who ARE you sleeping with at the moment?

-Myself, mostly.

-Mostly?

Mostly. Yes.

Mostly means not always.

-If you want it to be that precise, yes, it does.

-Nicola, please!

No. Don't.

Please, I was trying to say...

just go away. Just piss off!

You bet.

Bitch! Bitch!

I have talked to the Consultant. I have talked to the Registrar.

They say you should try to work.

You can be moved to a side ward, away from people,

but only if you show signs of being a little less introspective.

Philip, it's up to you now.

-Look at me!

-What are you up to? What's your game?

-For goodness sake!

-You're a bad actress on the box and even worse in real life.

-Thank you.

-It's called The Singing Detective.

-Yes, that's it!

-And it has nothing to do with you.

-I didn't say it had.

-I have been working, turning it into something else.

-How?

-In my head.

-Oh! In your head! Yes.

Sorry, but it's time for your drug.

Open.

There, all gone.

Who's a good boy, then?

'One of you.'

One nasty, dirty, wicked, little boy, >

for I cannot believe it was one of the girls!

One of you boys waited until after school,

waited, then sneaked back in and did this horrible...

horrible, filthy, disgusting thing, right in the middle of this table.

MY table!

And I will tell you this.

I will tell you this.

I will tell you here and now,

he won't get away with it,

WHOEVER it is.

I'll make sure of that.

Ab-so-lute-ly sure.

Who?

Who is it?

Who?

Who...is..the nasty, dirty, shameless little BEAST?!

Harold? Yes? Was it you?

No, Miss. You, was it? No, Miss.

Did you come back after school? No, Miss.

Are you quite sure? I didn't, Miss.

Did you come back in here and climb up on to my desk?

< Did you let down your trousers and do that disgusting thing?

No, Miss. Do you know who did?

No, Miss.

Cows do it in the fields and know no better.

Dogs do it on the road and know no better. Pigs do it in their sties and know no better.

They can't speak. They can't reason. They know not the difference between right and wrong. They are animals.

But...

But we are NOT animals.

God has given us all a sense of good and of bad.

God allows us to tell the difference between the clean and the dirty.

And God is going to help me now

find out who did this thing.

ALL of you, in a moment, are going to close your eyes

and place your hands together.

We are going to say a prayer.

We are going to ask Almighty God, ALMIGHTY God, himself.

We are going to BESEECH Almighty God, himself.

HE is going to point His Holy finger.

ALMIGHTY God will tell us who did this wicked deed.

And then, we shall know.

Let us pray.

'In my head.'

In my head. The worst thing about a detective story is the plot.

In fact, it's the only thing. You work it all out in your head. That's what I've been trying to do.

-But you already know what is going to happen.

-Think I'm cuckoo, do you?

-No, but...

-You think I'm bananas.

-It seems...

-Where's that screenplay?

-What screenplay?

-The one I wrote years ago and put in the shoe box.

-Shoe box?!

-Yes, the shoe box!

Philip.

I know. I know.

You should write something new. Write something else.

-Like what?

-Like this.

-What has happened to you. Like REAL things.

-Pooh.

-USE your talent, Philip.

-Bugger it!

Write about real things in a realistic way, real people, real joys, real pains.

-Not these silly detective stories. Something more relevant.

-Solutions.

-What?

-All solutions and no clues, that's what the dumbheads want.

Bloody novels - "He said," "She said," and descriptions of the sky!

I'd rather it was the other way round. That's the way things are - plenty of clues, no solutions.

What about this option?

Well, it's not grand or...

-But it would be a way for you to earn some money again...

-How much?

Well, it's no huge...

-I think it's about 2,000 for twelve months.

-Ten cents a dance.

But if they actually made a film of it,

YOU would get 2% of the budget.

So, a ten million dollar film...

..Up to a ceiling of 100,000.

-How come you know all this? How do you know the figures? What is it to do with you?

-The point is...

The point is you know these details and I don't. I'm in the dark.

-You've been getting into my flat...

-That stinking hole!

OR you were party to the offer in the first place. What's going on?

Still the same, aren't you? The same paranoid old Philip. Do you WANT my help, or don't you?

Do I want YOU to help ME?

Think about it.

-Piss off!

-Philip.

You are a barbarian.

You will always bite the hand that tries to feed you!

Answer the question, you interfering cow!

-The noise that fellow makes!

-NICOLA!

-The total lack of consideration.

It beggars description. And I choose my words more carefully than most.

-NICOLA, COME HERE!

-I mean, listen to him.

Reginald? What?

Could you put your hand on your heart and say you were good company?

What? < See what I mean. It's a good story.

What's it about? You already asked. > I'm asking again.

I don't know yet, do I? I haven't finished it yet, have I?

No luck, full stop. No good, full stop.

Talk about difficult, exclamation mark.

I had to give it up because he was getting very suspicious, full stop.

No luck. No good. Talk about difficult!

-I had to give it up because he was getting VERY suspicious.

-Binney! That bastard!

She says it's Binney.

But you'll try again? I mean, he'll see you again?

-I don't know.

-The thing is, Nicola, I can't wait for too long.

-You have no idea how nasty he can be.

-Haven't I just!

I don't want us to be... We could be sued for misrepresentation.

-Don't worry. I'll manage.

-Jesus! I wish we'd...

-Stop it!

I'll deliver. I said I would.

-He looks terrible.

-Don't feel sorry for him. Think about the half million dollars.

I don't feel sorry for him. I hope it gets right down into his bones.

Ah! You look TERRIFIC when you're angry. Zzzzz. Like a wasp caught in Tabasco.

That is what Marlow used to say. You sound just like Marlow.

# It's a lovely day tomorrow

# Tomorrow is a lovely da-a-ay.

# Come and feast your tear-dimmed eyes

# On tomorrow's clear blue skies.

# If today your heart is weary

# If every little thing looks grey

# Just forget your troubles

# And learn to say

# Tomorrow is a lovely day. #

'It's always the least likely character who turns out to be the killer.

'Got to obey the rules.

'This must be him.

'This must be the one. Old Noddy here.

'Definitely.

'Noddy did it. You hear that, Nicola? You get that?

'It can't be me, that's for sure.

-'It can't be me.

-I

-didn't do it.'

They won't find out who it was. Na, they'll never, ever find out,

not if they give I the worst Chinese burn ever.

Or they can tie I down on a hill of cruel, poisonous black ants, and they'll NEVER find out.

Not if I keep my mouth shut.

O, Lord God, who loves and saves

and watches and admonishes all of us miserable and unworthy sinners.

O, Lord God, look down on us now in Thy Awful Majesty.

Search out our hearts,

look into our heads, seize hold of our innermost thoughts. Dear Lord,

YOU can see. YOU know.

You are looking down now upon one boy,

one particular boy, one boy in this room.

You are entering the bones.

You are peering into the space between the bones.

Dear God, Almighty God,

terrible in wrath, with the stars to guide, with the whole earth to turn, with the flowers to grow,

with the rain to make fall, the sun to make shine, with all this, all of these things,

You stop, You look,

You watch.

All of these things, the weight of the mountains, the deep of the oceans, the day and the night,

the cares and troubles of the whole, slow spin of the whole world, ALL.

ALL of these things, You, O God,

Thee, O God, Almighty and Awful Creator,

You leave for the moment to point down at the one.

Who?

Who?

Which one?

Who is it?

'Who? Which one? Who is it? That is the question.'

Achtung, Amanda!

Achtung, Amanda!

'You can throw a long shadow. You can cast a short one.

'And you know the mistake people make?

'They think the size has something to do with what's inside them. Am I right? Or am I right?'

Shadows.

-Doesn't any of it seem peculiar to you?

-No.

-It gives me the creeps. I feel as if he's out there looking at me.

-Shadows.

He knows too much. He's got hold of too many details. What's his game?

-Parrot.

-What?!

I just made a parrot.

Am I talking to myself here?

I like moody men.

I simply ADORE moody men!

Two years and more I had of that shit with Marlow -

black looks, mysterious silences, sulks for no reason and PARANOIA. Think about it.

It's Marlow I'm thinking about. He's on to me.

-What do you mean?

-I feel it. I sense it.

Oh, no, not again.

-He's never actually set foot in this house, has he?

-Of course not.

-In his script...

-YOUR script.

-Let's be accurate.

-No, consistent.

-OK, as far as the outside world is concerned.

-Half a million says you'd better believe it.

I don't mean that. I mean this dog-eared, messy, food-stained script we hope he's forgotten.

It still stinks of tobacco and something that well...

-smells to me like old cabbage stumps.

-It smells of something worse than that.

-It smells of sulphur.

-What?

Nicola, I know this sounds crazy.

I feel almost as though he has made all this up.

My God! I do pick them.

Nicola, think about it, please!

-I'm talking about the actual script he wrote!

-Years ago.

-Yes...

-Before I even knew you.

-Yes, but... Well, true.

-Well, then.

But... But isn't that what makes it all so...creepy?

Now, look...

You're working yourself up because what we're doing is criminal. Right?

I mean, we are stealing his script and passing it off as yours. Right?

-Right.

-Mm.

Right.

-Right.

-And this is because I intercepted the offer to him.

-They don't know him from Adam. But you've got cold feet.

-No. No.

Then WHY are you jangling your nerves like this?

You do know we're talking about coincidence, don't you? Mark?

Don't you?

I suppose so.

Come on, use your head!

If he didn't know of your existence when he wrote that book.

-If

-I

-didn't know you, even.

If he'd never been here, never seen you.

-What's the matter with you?

-This is the matter, in here.

-Listen. In here, the story is the same, OK.

-It had better be.

-The settings are different!

-For Christ's sake.

-..And the names.

-So he changed his mind.

-He changed the setting of the client's house from New Cavendish St to this Mall.

-The murdered girl floats under Hammersmith Bridge!

-It's public property.

He's changed the name of the client from Haynes to Binney. ONE letter.

So what?

Binney to Finney is too close. If he'd changed it to anything else...

-How about Walley?

-Mark Finney! Me! Right?!

-How do you do.

-Mark Binney! In this script that we've purloined!

Mark Finney to Mark Binney is as close as...as close as...

I have this awful, dash.

He stops himself, comma, and all but shudders, full stop.

Darling, dash, question mark.

I have this awful...

Darling - ?

..Premonition.

I have this awful premonition.

Nicola, why are you doing that?

What?

Nicola!

Look, a rabbit! Don't you think that looks like a rabbit, Mark?

I thought I could only do parrots.

HEAVY RAIN AND THUNDER

He followed the stupid cow. He bloody well followed her.

It happens. He called out some kraut word.

And she had to go and react.

She's not even a bloody Hun. There you are.

These tarts. Brains in their bleedin' nipples. He's clever, though.

Not once she'd shown herself. It was in the manual then. Easy!

Watched her arse all the way home.

But he's clever. Go on, admit it.

Yeah.

Who'd have thought it? I mean, a warbler!

A bloody warbler! Thought they were all Nancy-boys.

There you are. Shut up!

Right you are.

We'll have to go in there.

Eventually.

But not together.

I don't want to go to a dance with another bloke.

I mean, what would people say? No, no, nor me.

Have you got the gun? What do you think?

I killed the tart with it, didn't I? Amanda. Yeah.

Pity that. Pity, really.

Shut up.

Right you are.

-#

-I get along without you very well

-#

-Of course I do

-#

-Except when soft rains fall

-#

-And drip from leaves then I recall

-#

-The thrill of being sheltered in your arms.

-#

-What a guy!

-#

-What a fool am I!

-#

-To think my breaking heart Could kid the moon

-#

-What's in store?

-#

-Should I fall once more?

-#

-No, it's best That I stick to my tu-u-ne

-#

-I get along without you very we-ll

-#

-Of course, I do

-#

-Except perhaps in spring

-#

-But I should never think of spring

-#

-For that would surely Break my heart in two-o-o.

-#

MUSIC CONTINUES

Grapes!

Why people insist on bringing them into hospitals, I don't know.

The grape, Reginald, is a very irritating fruit.

Especially if you have the misfortune to wear dentures.

The skin which, on the whole, is more bitter than it should be...

The skin, the bloody skin sticks on the teeth.

Or between the teeth.

And as for the pips...

The pips, Reginald...

You! That's what you do, do you know that?

What? You give me the pip.

What's wrong, Mr Hall?

What's wrong? What's WRONG?!

That's what I said.

Sundays. Mm?

Sundays, that's what's wrong.

Oh, how I hate this day of rest, this sabbath, this...

Even outside, Reginald, at the best of times. But in here...

It's like the two longest days of the week rolled into one.

Quieter, though. A bit of peace.

Hello.

Hello, please take one. You'll be able to follow the words.

Hello, please take one, you'll be able to follow the words.

Hello. If I could have your kind attention, please.

My name is Dr Finlay and may the Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

-Oh, no-o.

-Let me introduce ourselves to you,

if introductions are necessary. Hello, please take one, you'll be able to follow the words.

Or perhaps you'd prefer just to listen.

Yes, well. Jesus loves you.

-Please take one, you'll be able to follow the words.

-No. STUFF it.

-..That is all we ask.

-Stuff it!

Yes...This morning, we go from ward to ward to invite you

-to share the infinite joy and comfort we have ourselves received.

-Bugger off and leave us in peace.

Nurse Godfrey has given out...

F-fu-fuf-g-g...

- If I could have your attention... - F-f...

We ask you to join us in fellowship and in the love of Jesus,

to celebrate what is good in our lives and to ask for help

in understanding what seems to be less than happy in the world.

Now, you have been given a printed booklet

-with the words of the hymns...

-Hey! You!

-We hope you will feel able...

-Hey, you!

-Yes, what do you wish to say, my rather loud friend?

What if we don't "feel able"?

I'm sure that if you suspend your prejudice and join with us...

This is a principle, not a prejudice.

-If you would kindly...

-We don't want this crap.

Shut your mouth. Those who do not want to take part in celebrating our Lord Jesus Christ do not have to,

but they should remain quiet so that others can enjoy the service

and partake in the peace that comes from the love of our Saviour, Lord Jesus Christ.

And afterwards, we can all pick up our beds and walk out of here.

Switch on the organ, Eric.

Let us begin. >

We ask you to spend this time in reflection, in praise and comfort.

Thank you.

On your word sheets, you'll find the words of the hymn, Be In Time. Good and urgent advice,

expressing our personal hope in Jesus and our wish to tell you the good news.

Join with us. Do not hesitate!

# Life at best is very brief

# Like the falling of a leaf

# Like the binding of a sheaf Be in time!

# Fleeting days are telling fast

# That the die will soon be cast

# And the fatal line be passed Be in time!

# Be in time! Be in time!

# While the voice of Jesus calls you Be in time!

# If in sin you longer wait

# You may find no open ga-a-te

# And your cry be just too late Be in time!

# Fairest flowers soon decay Youth and beauty pass away

# Oh, you have not long to stay Be in time!

# While God's spirit bids you come

# Sinner, do not longer roam

# Lest you seal your hopeless doom Be in time!

# Be in time! Be in time!

# While the voice of Jesus calls you Be in time!

# If in sin you longer wait

# You may find no open ga-a-a-a-a-te

# And your cry be just too late Be in time! #

TEACHER: '..the weight of the mountains and the deeps of the oceans,

'the cares and troubles of the whole slow spin of the whole big world.

'You, O God. Thee, O God, Almighty and Awful Creator,

'You leave for the moment to point down at the one.

'Who?'

Who?

Which one?

Who is it?

CHILD SOBS

Philip Marlow.

Yes, Miss?

Come out to the front.

Come out to the front! Do you hear what I say? Come here!

Philip.

Miss?

I want you to look at something.

Now.

D'you see that?

D'you see that THING in the middle of the table?

Well? Do you see it?

Yes, Miss.

Did YOU do it?

You did it, didn't you? DIDN'T you?

-No.

-If you didn't do it, you know more about it than is good for you.

-Miss?

-You didn't do it?

-No, Miss.

I would have been very surprised if a clever boy like you...

So you know, do you? You know who did this filthy thing?

Yes, Miss.

Then you'd better tell me, my boy. You had better tell me.

-Don't like to.

-What?

I don't like to, Miss.

Oh, you don't like to.

What a pity? What a terrible shame.

That means that you will have to stand here for the rest of the day,

absolutely still, not moving a single muscle,

looking at that THING on the table until you decide to be sensible.

When the bell rings at the end of the day, and you still have not told me what I want to know,

do you know what will happen then?

You don't want to know?

Very well, I'll tell you.

I shall take hold of your ear, and I shall lead you through to Mr Hopper in the big room.

He will take the big cane and give you the biggest thrashing anybody in this school has ever had.

And he will keep on doing it, little boy, until you DO decide to tell me what you know.

Understand?

DO you understand?

-(Yes, Miss.)

-Very well.

Think about all that I have said.

Think about the stick, my lad.

And tell me, who did it?

Mmm? Who?

'Don't like to say, Miss.'

'Some Duke or other with a name like a boot said, "Never explain, never apologise."

'They should write that over the gates of Wormwood Scrubs.

'But the way things were looking for yours truly,

'they were about to write it on my gravestone.'

-#

-Latch on To the affirmative

-#

-Don't mess with Mr In-between

-#

-You got to spread joy Up to the maximum

-#

-Bring gloom Down to the minimum

-#

-Have faith Or pandemonium

-#

-Liable to Walk upon the scene... #

FEMALE VOICES: # To illustrate his last remark

# Jonah in the whale Noah in the ark

# What did they do-o-o

# Just when everything Looked so dark? #

DOCTOR FINLAY: # Man, they said we'd bettah Accen-tchuate the positive

# Elim-inate the negative

# Latch on To the affirmative

# Don't mess with Mr In-between

# You've got to spread joy Up to the maximum

# Bring gloom Down to the minimum

# Have faith Or pandemonium

# Liable to Walk upon the scene.

# To illustrate his last remark

# Jonah in the whale Noah in the ark

# What did they do

# Just when everything Looked so da-a-ark?

# Man, they said we'd bettah Accen-tchuate the positive

# Elim-inate the negative

# Latch on To the affirmative

# Don't mess with Mr In-between

# No, do not mess with Mr In-between. #

Do you hear me?

# Oh, listen to me, chil'un And you will hear

# About the eliminatin' of the negative And the accent on the positive.

# Gather round me chil'un If you will and sit tight

# While I start reviewing The attitude of doin' Ri-i-i-ight.

# You've got to spread joy Up to the maximum

# Bring gloom Down to the minimum

# Otherwise, pandemonium Liable to walk upon the scene.

# To illustrate... # Well, illustrate.

# My last remark

# Jonah in the whale Noah in the ark

# What did they say When everything looked so da-a-rk?

# Man, they said we'd better Accen-tchuate the positive

# Elim-inate the negative

# Latch on to the affirmative

# Don't mess with Mr In-between

# No, don't mess With Mr In-betwee-ee-een. #

God.

Let it come. Pandemonium.

# Be in time!

# If in sin you longer wait You may find no open gate... #

-#

-Accentuate the positive Elim-inate the negative

-#

-Latch on To the affirmative

-#

-Don't mess With Mr In-between

-#

-No, do not mess With Mr In-between.

-#

# Oh, listen to me, chil'un And you will hear

# About the eliminatin' of the negative And the accent on the positive...#

Are you going to wait for the number to finish, or what?

That is so.

Only he's a good target now, a sitting duck.

My glass. Look at it.

I'd say it was empty. What would you say? The same.

What? I'd say it was empty too.

All right.

The same again, thank you.

We draw the same expenses, me and you.

Who's got the shooter? Who does the shooting? That'll go down nicely, ta.

You go and see what Marlow does when this bleedin' tune is over.

Then he's HAD it.

A leaf,

boys and girls.

A leaf may not seem all that much to you.

Only a leaf, you might say.

Green in the summer, and then going brown and dry, falling off the tree and rotting away. That's all.

But look again and you will be surprised!

A leaf, like you, has a rib.

A leaf, like you, has...

veins.

A leaf, like you...

breathes.

If you look at the leaf,

if you hold it up to the light, you will see the rib running right through the middle of it.

From the bottom of the leaf at the stem, right through...

to the tip of the leaf. Keep still!

Eyes front!

And if you look even more closely, you will see that coming out from this rib,

there are VEINS. You see? Like this.

Now, if you were to shine a very strong, a very powerful torch

through this leaf, you would see that there is a very fine pattern in between these veins.

Some of this pattern shows up as green,

and some of this pattern shows up, under the bright light of the torch, as white.

The white stuff is tougher than the green. It is like the bones of the leaf. George.

- Miss? - I said there were two colours in the what?

Leaf, miss. Yes, but in WHAT in the leaf? >

In the PATTERN of the leaf. TWO colours, I said. What were they, George?

Green, Miss. Yes, green, I said. AND? >

NO, thank you, Barry.

Black, Miss.

Quiet! George, here.

At once! >

I saw you picking at the wood on your desk. I knew you were not paying attention.

Fetch me the stick. Oh, Miss!

FETCH me the stick. Yes, Miss.

Hold out your hand.

Pay attention, next time.

Pay attention, ALL of you. Green, I said, green and WHITE.

Count yourself lucky, George, that you only had three strokes across your hand.

In just over ten minutes time, all of you in Standard Three

will join Standard One, Standard Two and Standard Four

to see a caning that not one of you will ever forget. Philip.

-Yes, Miss?

-You DO know that you will have to have the big stick?

-AND across your behind, and in front of the whole school?

-Yes, Miss.

Unless...

You understand? UNLESS...

(Miss.)

The leaf!

When you pick up a fallen leaf from the ground,

you will soon see that it is the green part,

the green pattern that is the first part that rots away, that dies.

But look closely at this leaf,

the leaf you have picked up from the soft floor of the forest, and you will also see...

There, there.

You have been very brave in sticking up for the wicked boy who did it.

I am sorry you will have to be punished, and punished so very hard.

Here, blow.

I think we've had enough of this, don't you?

Yes, Miss.

-I think the time has come to tell me what you know, hasn't it?

-Yes, Miss.

Stand up here.

Who did it? Tell me.

There's a good boy.

Mark Binney, Miss. It was Mark Binney.

Subtitles by Dorothy Moore BBC Scotland - 1986

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