Episode 2 The Syndicate

We've won the Lottery, nearly four million each.

-Who's 0777?

-Give us that. Opening my letters again.

There were over seven grand in that safe.

I don't give a shit about the money.

He could die, Jamie.

What are you going to spend your money on?

Trying to get my husband back.

We could do some liposuction here,

here,

here.

And here,

giving it a nice lift.

And smooth out these saddlebags.

As for the breasts,

it depends whether you want to go for a reduction or a lift?

I want them up a bit.

Could you do it all in one go?

I could do the thighs and tummy tuck, but the breasts

and the semi face and eyelift would have to be done separately.

Even if I paid you more?

Denise!

Her husband's left her.

I'm sorry.

You see, this might be just a knee-jerk reaction.

You really need to think carefully about it.

We're talking about a lot of surgery here

and I have to be honest,

there will be some discomfort.

I can do discomfort.

-He means pain.

-I want my face doing first.

Right.

And you know how much it's going to cost?

I've seen your price list and I've got money.

I've got loads of money.

Oh, sweetheart, what are you doing sat there?

I can't let you in. You'll get me into trouble.

Go on, shoo.

DOG WHIMPERS

DOGS BARK

How are you doing?!

Hello! Have you had a nice day?

Is that you, Denise?

Yeah! I'm back, Mam.

Dave,

you're never going to guess what's happened at work.

We were robbed.

Where are you, Dave?

Where's that naughty Daddy, eh?

Where's he?

Oh! There you go, darling.

Oh, urgh, who's done that?

Denise! Are you there?

Won't be a minute, Mam.

Naughty boy!

Honestly.

Got your fish.

I could be laid here dead for all anyone cares.

I haven't had a drink all afternoon.

I'm sorry, Mam.

SHE MOANS

When's that bloody bed coming?

Soon. We're top of the waiting list.

What we waiting for, someone to peg out?

Where's Dave?

Out gallivanting, I expect.

Mam!

When he should be working.

And who'd look after you if he had to go to work?

He dun't look after me.

He lives here scot-free,

in the house your father and I worked all our lives for

and he never thinks to put his head round the door

to see if I want owt.

Did your carers come today?

In and out in two minutes.

Said I had to choose between a bed bath and a prick and ding meal.

Oh, Mam!

I'd have come straight home if I'd have known.

I'm late cos we had a burglary at the shop.

A burglary?

An armed robber with a gun, just as Stuart were cashing up.

We'd only been gone five minutes.

Mother of God, it's getting just like America.

He took the lot and bashed Bob over the head with a whiskey bottle.

They've taken him to hospital and that's where I've been.

That's terrible.

I know.

I better put Dave's fish and chips in the oven before they go cold.

I need a Xanax.

And I'll have a cup of tea!

SHE SIGHS

'You have two new messages.'

ANSWERPHONE BEEPS

'First message.'

'Dave, it's me.

'Listen, I've got to go back to work, there's a problem.

'I'll ring you later.'

ANSWERPHONE BEEPS

'Second message.'

'I'm sorry I'm late, love, but I've got fish and chips.

'I've been to the hospital, but I'll tell you about it when I get home.'

'End of messages.'

TV: Number 7,

one of our least popular numbers last seen five weeks ago.

And our second ball out tonight...

Hi, Dave, it's me. Where are you?

I've got fish and chi...

..is number 3.

3 last made an appearance five months ago.

It's a double century for number 3 making its 200th appearance.

That's our wedding anniversary!

Drawing the fourth number now.

Of course, matching four numbers gives you a minimum £100. Best of luck.

And 28 is back again, it put in an appearance just two weeks ago.

Mam! I've got four numbers, Mam!

Where's me tea?

What've you turned it over for?

I was watching that.

We'll have definitely won summat.

Number 8, that's one of mine, I'm sure it is. Is that an 8, Mam?

It's an 8.

-No, it can't be, I must've got it wrong.

-For God's sake.

You've been doing it seven years, you must know your numbers by now.

Billy's birthday is January the 8th!

Or is it the 18th?

You'll have won a tenner,

Karen won a tenner. And she..

Shut up, Mam!

Number 40.

40, our house, number 40.

I don't believe this.

Right, where's me ticket, what did I do with it?

I need a Xanax!

So let's recap those numbers.

No, Billy! No, it is not a game!

Number 8, number 28.

-Have you found it?!

-Write the numbers down, Mam!

And the bounty ball is 12.

Bounty ball's 12!

I don't need the bounty ball!

Oh, my giddy aunt!

What did I do with it?

Oh!

Oh, for heaven's sake!

Oh, my Lord!

It is an 8.

I didn't have a pen so I couldn't write the numbers down, but I think I've won summat.

What's she saying?

Shhh, Mam!

-So you know there's been a win in the area?

-How does she know?

I'm trying to listen!

Sorry?

Yes, of course I can read the numbers out.

The first one is number 3.

The next one is number 7,

number 8. 28.

It's 23.

It is an 8, mother! It's Dave's birthday, it's 28.

It's definitely 28.

All right, don't snap me head off.

The next one is number 32 and the...

Oh, I'm sorry, am I going too fast?

How hard can it be to check six numbers?

40.

Hello?

Are you still there?

Where's she gone?

Yes, of course you can ask me some questions.

It is my ticket,

but I'm part of a syndicate, there are five of us.

Have you won?

I bought the ticket where I work.

Right Buy U, Bentley Parade, Leeds.

Ask her how much.

I'm sorry, could you repeat that?

No, it's just me mam, that's all, why?

Those are the winning numbers?

Does that mean I've won?

18 million...

144,000 and..

18 million, mother of God!

Where are you going?

Oh, God! She's got it wrong. I don't believe it.

Yes, this is her mam.

-I can't have won the Lottery!

-She gets a bit overcome sometimes, she's always been highly strung.

I don't believe it!

She must have got it wrong.

Right. Will you shut it!

-What's she saying, Mam?

-Yeah?

And you've got this number, haven't you? Ta-ra then.

Right,

you're to sign you name and address on t'back of the ticket

and keep it somewhere safe.

There'll be someone called Andy summat-or-other coming

to see you at the shop tomorrow.

You're to tell t'others that have won straight away,

but you're not to say owt to anyone else.

18 million.

SCREAMS

This in't a wind-up, is it?

No! I wouldn't joke about 18 million.

18 million. Where's me fags and me lighter? And a drink?

Remember, we've not got to breathe a word to anyone.

I haven't got anything in.

What about some sweet tea, for t'shock?

Tea? We should be drinking champagne.

I know!

In a five-star hotel.

In the Caribbean, by a pool.

No, on a yacht wearing diamonds.

I can't wait to tell Dave.

-Doesn't he know?

-I don't know where he is. He's not answering his phone.

There's half a bottle of red wine in the kitchen.

Somebody was screaming.

It's nothing, sweetheart, come on, back to bed.

Why is Aunty Denise here?

She's come round to tell me I've got a pay rise at work.

Does that mean we can go to Disneyland?

It's nearly four million each.

Bloody hell fire.

We're rich!

Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you.

I don't believe it! It's bloody incredible.

We're millionaires, no-one can touch us now.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me,

I've never won anything in my life, not a scratch card, phone-in, nothing. Have you told Annie yet?

No, because when I rang the Lottery line they said

I have to inform everyone in the syndicate first.

Is Bob not in the syndicate?

Bob's in a coma.

We hadn't told me mam yet.

Told me what?

SNORING

DOOR OPENS

DOGS BARK

Dave?

Where've you been?

I've been worried to death.

I must've rung you a hundred times.

I've had me phone turned off.

What for?

I needed time to think.

What about?

You know what about.

No, I don't.

But I've got summat to tell you.

We've not really been getting on, have we?

Getting on?

We live in this house,

but we don't really have a proper life together, do we?

Don't we?

Like normal people, I mean,

like husband and wife?

I don't know what you mean.

Don't make this difficult for me, Denise.

-I don't know what you're saying.

-I'm saying...

..you're a really nice person

and I like you and respect you,

but...

neither of us are getting anything out of this marriage.

I'm sorry?

You don't really care about me anymore,

you care more about the dogs than me.

No, that's not true.

It is, love. I mean, look at this place.

What's that thing doing here again?

Oh, I don't know, she must've followed me in last night,

I had a couple of glasses of wine with Leanne.

I can't live like this anymore.

I'll get rid of her. I'll ring the dogs home, they'll pick her up.

I don't care what you do,

it's none of my business anymore.

Course it's your business, you live here.

No, come on, girl, come on.

You've got to go.

Come on.

DOG WHIMPERS

No, you've got to go, you can't stay here.

There you are, she's gone.

I just want a normal life, Denise,

and I don't want to live in your mother's house.

We can move, We can...

I'm going to get meself a job

and I'm going to start again.

All right, I'll do whatever you want.

No, Denise.

I want to start again. Me.

On my own. I'm 48 and I've got nothing to show for it.

Is this cos we couldn't have a baby?

No, it's got nothing to do with that.

Listen, love, I'm doing this as much for you as I am for me.

Doing what?

Leaving.

Leaving? Oh God, no, you can't leave me.

You deserve someone better.

I don't want anyone else.

Someone who likes living like this. Someone who's attracted to you.

Are you not attracted to me?

Denise! Is that Dave?

Yes. We're just talking, Mam!

You used to say I was cuddly.

What's wrong with me?

Nothing.

No, come on, tell me.

You don't care about yourself anymore.

Denise...?!

We haven't had sex in four and a half years, Denise,

didn't you think something was odd?

-I thought it was cos of your back.

-Denise! Me pillows need doing!

Two minutes, Mam!

I'm sorry, I've been dreading having this conversation.

I've been putting it off for years cos I didn't want you getting depressed again.

And I can't do it anymore. I've come to the end of the road.

I swear to God you'll look back in years to come and you'll thank me.

No, I won't, I love you.

I've always loved you.

You think you do.

No, I know that I do.

Dave, I can change, everything's going to change from now on.

You can't change who you are.

I can!

Please,

Dave, don't go.

Is there anything that I can say that'll make you stay?

Nothing.

Even if I told you that I'd won the Lottery.

It's got nothing to do with money. I just can't live like this anymore.

It's not a rehearsal, Denise.

So how did you find that doctor?

Yellow Pages.

You're barking mad!

You're going to let him loose on your face with a scalpel

and you've not even checked him out?

He's nice, I trust him.

Yeah, people trusted Harold Shipman.

I just want Dave to fancy me again, that is all.

So have your hair done, buy yourself some new clothes.

You don't have to have a load of plastic surgery.

You know, it's not so bad being on your own.

I don't think I can do it, Leanne, I'm not strong like you.

I need Dave.

Our other office

have got a beautiful five bedroomed house on Sandmore Gardens.

It's down to 1.1 cos the owners are moving to Dubai.

1.1 what?

Million.

Oh, right.

It's a one-off mate, it's amazing.

Well, I'll ring Amy, see if I can get off work early.

-I'll pick you up if you want?

-I get a better service now I've won the Lottery?!

Talking over a million. I'd carry you on me back if I had to.

Could you give my card to some of the others?

Yeah, sure.

It's not like Denise and Leanne to be late back from lunch.

They only usually take half an hour.

Not much incentive to work, I expect.

Well, we're all set up in the office when they decide to turn up.

'Please leave a message after the tone.'

It's t'answer machine.

Hello, it's me again, Denise.

I was just wondering if you'd like to come to

me mam's birthday on Sunday.

I hope you can come.

I miss you.

He'll be round like a shot.

Do you think so?

Course. He'll know by now you've won the Lottery.

He couldn't care less about money.

He'll be at your mam's party, Denise, trust me, now he's got an invite.

I hope so.

-Your brother's the only one to jack the job in?

-Yeah.

I can't say I blame him.

I could try him again if you like?

I think he was test-driving a car

so he might not be able to answer his phone.

When you finished can you check the dates on the yogurts

and move the nearest sell-bys to the front?

Yeah, I'll try.

Answer machine.

Jamie, it's me, we're still waiting for you, bro.

I said to my missus when I saw you all on the news,

I'm sure it's the same supermarket that got robbed.

I wasn't even sure if you'd be open.

Yeah, business as usual. That's what Bob'd want.

Nice guy, Bob.

Was he a good manager?

The best. He might be going home tomorrow.

So I hear, and he's remembering bits and pieces now.

That's good.

I understand your brother's got a bit of a track record?

Yeah, well, he's clean now.

He hasn't touched the stuff in over a year.

Let's hope all this money dun't turn his head.

Thought you'd done a runner.

We wouldn't do that.

-Now then, ladies.

-Sorry we're late.

I had an hospital appointment and it ran over.

Have you found who robbed us then?

Not yet, but it's piecing together nicely.

Congratulations on your win, by the way.

-Thank you very much.

-Cheers.

CAR ENGINE ROARS

Oh, my giddy aunt! Will yer look at that?!

How much will that've cost?

He looks like a film star.

See? If he can do it so can I.

I'm here.

Wow!

Look at you.

Have you bought it?

Yeah. He's getting me a blue Porsche an' all.

Right, what's all this about then?

-Inspector Newall wants us to look at t'CCTV footage again.

-I've seen it.

I'd like you to all see it together,

see if it helps jog your memory.

Right, crack on then.

Are you usually the first to go?

No, but I were meeting somebody that night.

You were on a promise.

Yeah, that's right.

Bit early for a date?

I was meeting me mates first and I wanted to get changed.

Didn't she turn up, love?

What?

Well, you were back home

-when I came round at half nine to tell you we'd won.

-Do you have a contact for this girl?

-No, she were someone I met in a club.

-But you've got a mobile number?

It were blocked. What is this? Are you accusing me or something?

I tell you what, you can check with me mates. Went to Black Swan then Phono's.

I left at ten past nine and got a cab home.

On a Saturday night?

Yeah, on a Saturday night!

He's only just finished his probation. My mam likes him back before ten.

That's when the dealers are out.

-Oh, cheers bruv(!) Why don't you just tell 'em all my business?

-He knows your business.

-As you can see, he's white and about your build.

-There's thousands of blokes like me.

-I'd know if it was my brother.

-Oh, I'm sure you would.

OK, you'll notice the assailant isn't wearing gloves,

so he's clearly not a professional.

We've got some decent prints from the desk

and the neck of the whiskey bottle, so for elimination purposes,

we'd like to take everybody's prints.

Except Jamie, whose we've already got on file.

I could've bitten me tongue off as soon as I'd said it.

Don't worry, it's not like he's done anything wrong. 40p change.

No, but I'd hate to get him into trouble.

Well, you just said the truth.

I can't see what that says.

£22.60.

Oh. Thanks.

I'm not wearing these cos I think I'm famous, I've just had

my eyes done.

You are famous. I saw you on the telly.

I like your teeth.

Thanks, I've just had them whitened.

Do you want a Lottery ticket?

-No, thanks. Bye.

-Bye bye.

Cheers for that, Denise.

I'm sorry, love, I didn't think.

No, you never do.

That wasn't very nice.

I could've said about them not telling their mum, but I didn't.

What?

Where's he going now?

What do you mean, they didn't tell their mum?

When I went round to tell them about winning the Lottery,

their mum didn't know about the robbery or Bob being in hospital.

I thought it was a bit odd.

It is odd.

And Jamie was in the same clothes he'd been to work in

and he said he'd got changed.

I didn't say anything about that and I could've.

Keep everything normal!

It is normal to jack your job in when you've won millions on the Lottery!

Will you let go of the door?

What if he wants to talk to your mates or someone at the Black Swan?

I've got money. I can pay for anyone to say anything.

If he comes out and sees us arguing...

Your fingerprints are going to be all over that bottle.

No shit, Sherlock, I used to work here.

My fingerprints are going to be on everything.

ENGINE STARTS

No, I don't think Jamie seemed any different to how he usually was.

It was Stuart that...

I'm sorry, but can I ask you to remove your sunglasses?

I'm not supposed to, cos I've had my eyes lasered.

It was Stuart that...

Seemed cut up about being laid off. He's worked here longer

and he's got a family to think about.

I don't think Jamie could care less.

So, when you called round to their house to tell the lads,

did Jamie look like he'd been out on the town?

Do you know, I don't really remember.

Tell you the truth, that night was all a bit of a blur.

I'd had a drink myself and I was a bit shocked

cos I won the Lottery and me husband didn't come home, so...

What do you mean? Where was he?

I don't know. He came back in the morning to pick up his things,

but he wouldn't tell me.

All he'd say was he was leaving me.

We've been together 16 years.

-It's amazing.

-It's massive.

Beautiful, isn't it? And you couldn't get a better location.

-Best schools in Leeds right on your doorstep.

-We'll be sending Jack private.

How the other half live, eh?

Aww, it's beautiful. Look at the furniture.

The furnishings are negotiable.

That banister's going to take some polishing.

We'll paint it white.

There's two reception rooms

and a self-contained nanny flat above the garage.

Oh! There you go, Jack, a place for your nanna.

Nanny, as in someone to help look after the children, Joyce.

Yeah, that's what I do, isn't it?

-Can I see the kitchen?

-Yeah, if you follow me.

Like she's going to cook!

Argh! Stuart!

Amy?

There's a swimming pool in the kitchen!

Skedaddle!

Oooh. Well, look at you with your sunnies on.

Your mam's been telling us all about your win.

We pretended like we didn't know, but you were all over the front page.

When do you get the money?

It came into the bank yesterday.

That's quick.

Brilliant. So what you going to buy with it?

Well, I've ordered a new bed for my mam,

so you can take her off the list.

Aww, bless. What else?

A stair lift, cos we're sick of waiting and a step-in Jacuzzi bath.

You're not planning on moving, then?

No, I don't think so. Not unless Dave comes back.

Oh, yeah, your mam told us about that as well. I'm sorry.

We'd better be off. Edna'll be waiting.

Oh, before you go, I'm having a bit of a surprise do

for my mam's birthday on Sunday, if you'd both like to come?

I'll have to check what I'm doing.

Aww, thanks, Denise. What time?

Any time after four.

And I was wondering if you might know somewhere where

my mam could go for a few days next week.

I might have to go into hospital for an operation.

Nothing serious, I hope?

No, but I'll be in overnight.

Most of the respite homes have gone with the cuts,

but I'll see what I can do.

No, no, I mean to pay for.

Something like a little holiday place

where she could get looked after.

OK! Bye.

-Bye.

-See ya.

-Bye.

Now, I'm going to hit each tooth with this laser pulse.

It might feel a little sensitive here and there, so put your hand up

if you want me to stop. But most people don't feel a thing.

-Are you ready?

-Ah-ha.

SHE SCREAMS

If having your teeth whitened hurt, what you going to be like

when you come round after surgery? You'll be in agony.

I'll just take plenty of painkillers.

I can't believe that I can see.

I've worn glasses since junior school.

Really?

Oh! Look!

That is how I want my hair.

It'll be all right when you've washed it.

Yeah. Yours looks lovely.

Right, get your card ready, cos we're going to do some serious spending, girl.

I don't use cards.

I'm sorry, but you have to make an appointment.

You can't just turn up.

Oh, sorry, we didn't know.

If you'd like to ring and make a booking.

No, but I need something for Sunday.

Stuff 'em. We'll go somewhere else.

Excuse me, I'm not a personal shopper, I'm just an assistant,

but there's a spare fitting room

and I can bring you things in if you let me know what you're looking for.

MUSIC: "She's A Lady" by Tom Jones

You look amazing!

You look amazing!

THEY LAUGH

Oh! Look at us!

Is there anything I can be bagging up for you?

Anything you definitely want?

Well, I think all of that rail, don't you, Leanne?

Definitely. And the shoes.

And the jewellery that you brought me to try on.

I'd like that as well.

So you want all of it?

Yeah.

THEY LAUGH

That's 3,500. And 50. And 600.

And 20. There we go.

One, two, three, four, five.

And 100 for you.

Oh, no, I can't take all that. I mean, I get my commission anyway.

Course you can. You deserve it, you were brilliant.

Nobody could've done better.

Ta-ra.

I like being rich.

Hiya.

Now, then!

Bloody hell, I hardly recognised you.

-What have you been doing to yourself?

-Bob!

No, she looks great.

Thanks. I've bought some new clothes.

I can see that.

Loads of them.

They cost a fortune.

You can afford it.

And we've had three and a half glasses of champagne.

It's all right for some, isn't it?

So you not been into work today, then?

No, no, we had the day off. But don't worry,

we've got a couple of newbies in.

We thought we'd come and bring you some fruit.

-Aww, lovely, cheers. Hey, you've just missed the boys in blue.

-He's had his fingerprints taken.

They've been to t'shop and taken ours.

Just for elimination purposes.

I'm glad they're taking it seriously.

It is serious. It's armed robbery. You could've been killed.

-No.

-That's true.

I didn't know if we'd still find you here,

cos Stuart said you were thinking of moving to a private hospital.

No, I couldn't get any better treatment anywhere else

and I got to know the nurses now.

So when are they letting you home, then?

It's...it's complicated,

cos when they did the scan... they found something.

Yeah, a brain! Surprise, surprise!

What do you mean?

Well, they're not sure what it is yet.

It could be a cyst or a benign tumour.

That's awful.

I'm sorry.

Nowt to be sorry about, love.

They want me to give me a few more tests

and another scan tomorrow then all being well, I can go home.

Hey, come on, it's not the end of the world.

Is there anything we can do?

It's lovely to see your bonnie faces.

Everything seems to be going wrong since we won the Lottery.

It's nowt to do with the Lottery, love.

I just wish everything could go back to how it was.

Hey, stop that. There's people out there in debt,

not knowing where their next penny's coming from. We're the lucky ones.

It don't feel like that sometimes.

Dave's left me.

Oh, heck, love.

You poor thing.

Come on, it'll be all right.

You're all right, love.

I'm sorry, Bob. I think it's the champagne.

If you're back home on Sunday, I'm having a bit of a do for

my mam's birthday and it'd be lovely if you could both come.

Aww, grand.

Poor Bob. He's such a lovely man and he's never done anything wrong.

He'll be all right.

He's not going to be coming back to work, though, is he?

I've got a message.

It's Dave.

I knew he'd phone. What's he say?

Shhh!

Oh, my giddy aunt, he's coming on Sunday! He's coming!

What did I tell you?

THEY LAUGH HYSTERICALLY

Oh, hang on a minute, love. Can you wait?

Course I can, love, yeah. No problem.

Now, then...

Mam!

Oh, I must've dropped off. Look who's come to see us.

-Hello, Father Thomas.

-Hello, my dear. You're looking lovely.

Thank you. Who let you in?

He turned up just as Karen and Chris were leaving. It's not spicy, is it?

No, it's just cheese and tomato.

Your mammy's been telling me about your good fortune.

And Father Thomas has been telling me about the church's bad luck.

They've taken all the lead off the roof again.

Oh, that's terrible.

Father Thomas was wondering

if you'd like to give something towards replacing it?

Oh, right.

Thank you! Much appreciated, my dear.

Did I tell you they've taken the stone

flagging from the front as well?

There you go.

God bless you, my child.

Father Thomas was just saying it'd be nice to see you at church more often.

Well, it'd be nice to see Father Thomas round here more often.

How many years is it since you've been to see my mam?

Why are you snapping at Father Thomas?

I've told you before, it's not his fault you had a miscarriage.

I'm not blaming him.

Well, why did you stop going to church after you'd lost

the baby, then?

I just didn't see the point.

If you'd talked to Father Thomas instead of taking them tablets

that turned you into a zombie, he'd have helped you.

Don't lose your faith, my dear.

When you were in hospital, I prayed to our Lord to look after you

and welcome your baby into heaven.

God bless her. May she rest in peace.

He was a boy.

If it was up to me, I'd let you stay.

Sorry, did you say something, love?

Oh, no, it's all right. I'm just talking to the dog.

No problem.

Here we are. Can you just pull in here?

If you could wait again...?

Well, OK, if you're sure?

So the little rascal followed you home from the park, did she?

That's right. She's a gorgeous dog.

You won't put her down, will you?

Good heavens! We'd never put a healthy dog down.

-Really? Oh, that's great. I was really worried about that.

-No way. We'll do our best

to find her a good home

and if we can't, we'll keep her at the sanctuary.

What's that?

It's a large open area we've got round the back where the dogs

have a lovely stress-free existence, plenty of love and fussing.

Oh, that sounds lovely. Can I move in?

I'll join you.

So, who pays for all of this?

We're a charity, so we rely on the goodwill

and generosity of our supporters.

We've got volunteers that help out. That's how I got started.

I'd like to do that.

Well...we've got a form.

In fact, we've got lots of forms.

One for sponsorship, one for donations.

I'll get you one, if you want?

There you go, Mam. Press the button with the wiggly line on it.

THE CHAIR VIBRATES

Oh. That's lovely.

That's for your circulation.

I bet they've got these beds at the hotel, don't you, Karen?

I don't know that I want to go to that Sea Haven place.

Course you do, it's the seaside.

Look, it's a little holiday for you.

I'd feel better if you was coming with me.

-I can't do, Mam.

-You can. It says, "And family members".

I've got to go into hospital.

What for? You're not still trying for a baby, are you?

Mam!

I've heard it's lovely. One of my other ladies went and didn't want to go home.

I wouldn't send you anywhere that wasn't nice, Mam.

You've got your own room overlooking the sea

and someone to look after you 24 hours a day.

Right, are you going to get me into t'chair?

She's gorgeous, isn't she?

Yeah, I'm a bit biased, but she lights up my day.

So, that's the pool.

It's nice to see Bob here.

Yeah, he's looking good.

-You know they found something on his brain?

-No.

Yeah. He's had a scan and some tests.

He gets his results tomorrow.

You all right, Bob?

Yeah, better now I'm not in there. Ha-ha! Ta.

It's t'dogs.

What happens if it comes off the wall?

It won't.

You need a purpose-built bungalow.

So, who've you got waiting downstairs?

Mam! It's supposed to be a surprise.

I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

-There you go!

-Ohh!

And she's off!

THEY LAUGH

Oh, it's a bit slow, isn't it?

There you are.

Hiya.

I forgot to give you this. It came to t'shop. It says, "Leah",

but I think they just spelled your name wrong.

I expect it'll be people asking for money. I've had loads.

What did you do with them?

Depends what they're asking for.

I've sent a few hundred quid to some of them, but binned the rest.

What you doing out here?

Talking to Leanne.

What?

Nothin'. Her mam's coming down.

Right.

I'll be two minutes.

Right, see you later.

She's coming. Shhh, everyone!

THEY ALL CHEER

Well, I never!

OK, you can all bugger off now.

THEY LAUGH

I'm only kidding.

Right, well, I've pushed the boat out. Everything's bought in, so eat up!

-Put me near t'cake.

-THEY LAUGH

So I said, "You must be joking. In this outfit?"

He's not going to come.

Give him time. You look gorgeous, by the way.

Thanks.

Hospital rang with my appointment yesterday, half eleven on Thursday.

You're mad. You don't need to! Don't you understand? He'll be begging you to take him back.

But he's not attracted to me anymore.

Who's that?

Her husband.

No!

-I knocked, but nobody...

-Oh, sorry, love, but you don't have to knock, this is your house.

Excuse me! I think you'll find it's my name on the deeds.

Happy birthday, Maureen.

Thank you very much.

I'm so pleased you came, Dave.

I wouldn't miss your mam's birthday. Even though she hates me guts.

She doesn't hate you, honestly.

Do you think I look different?

Yeah, yeah, what've you done?

I've had my eyes lasered, so no more glasses and look at my teeth.

And no more frizzy hair, either.

I liked your hair curly.

Well, I can easily curl it again.

I've got make-up on and I've bought lots of new clothes and underwear.

Some of it's really pretty.

It seems like ages since I've seen you.

It's just a week.

It's the longest week of my life.

Yeah, me too.

What did you say?

I said I've missed you, too.

Awww, Dave.

I've been so stupid, I've not looked after meself.

You look great.

Thanks. I'm never going to let myself go again, ever. I promise.

We can really enjoy our lives together now we've got money,

we can do everything you want.

Put your arms around me, love, please.

Do you know what everyone in this room's thinking?

They can think what they want.

Look at her, fawning over him.

-She won't hear a wrong word said about him.

-She's a soft touch.

Do you know she's having a load of cosmetic surgery on Thursday?

No! What the hell for?

For him, and she's no idea what she's going to go through.

DOORBELL

I'll get it. I'll bring you some breakfast up.

Oh, hello! What are you doing here so early?

I brought your mam's cream.

I noticed she's got a few new sores, didn't want it spoiling her holiday.

Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday.

-That's all right. Where's Karen?

-We've had to split up, that many to see.

Did your mam enjoy herself?

Yeah. I think so. I was a bit taken up with other things.

Everything all right?

Fantastic. Dave's back.

Really?

I'm just doing him some breakfast now. We had a good talk last night

and we decided we'd give it another go.

Now I'm making an effort he said I looked great.

You've won the Lottery, course he's going to say that.

No, he meant it, I could tell he did.

I'm just looking out for you.

Anyway, best get this cream on.

If you could do the same again tonight.

'Oh come on, Stuart, he leaves her,'

two days later he finds out she's won the Lottery and thinks, "Shit, what have I done?"

Then she invites him to a party, whoopee! Great excuse to get back with her.

It might not be because of the money.

A little less chat and a little more work, please.

Tosser.

I can't stand him.

I don't think I can stick it anymore,

-it's not like I need the money.

-We might get Bob back next week.

-He got his results today.

I've rung him twice, but it just keeps going to answer machine.

Chris?

You all right?

Hang on a minute, love.

What's the matter?

Nothing, I'm fine, everything's fine.

Is it something me mam said?

-Cos she can be very grumpy in the morning.

-It's nothing to do with your mam, it's Dave.

Dave?

He doesn't love you. He's only come back for the money.

No, you're wrong. And you shouldn't say things like that about him. You don't know him.

I do. We've been having a relationship for the past 10 months.

He wants to be with me! He's been staying at my place!

And then he saw you on the telly

with your big cheque and...

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry.

So, I've got an meeting with the financial advisor

and the Lottery solicitor at 10, but after...

I could come with you.

Oh, you can't, love. Only members of the syndicate are allowed.

Yeah, but I'm your husband.

Them's the rules.

Do you want any of this toast?

I can't eat.

Do you love me again, Dave?

Oh, I never stopped loving you.

Look at me.

What?

Nothing.

"Eat on Us" for a fiver, you're all doing it these days.

I think it's the recession.

We'd like you to come down to the station with us,

there's a couple of questions we'd like to ask you.

Right.

Well, I'll just tell my manager and get my coat.

Is it just stuff they can't get rid of?

It's a new promotion. Excuse me, I've got to go and serve.

What are the police doing here again?

-They're taking Stuart in for questioning.

-What for?

-I don't know. Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine, I've just put me drops in.

So you must be Denise. In future, do you mind taking these meetings outside of this shop?

It wasn't my idea.

Right, cabaret's over.

You all right, sweetheart?

Come on, let's crack on!

Are you going to get this display sorted or am I going to have to do it myself?

I guess do it yourself, cos I've had enough.

I don't need this.

-Where you going?

-Home.

Oh, won the Lottery, have we?

-Hi, Denise. This is Ruth Brady, our solicitor.

-Pleased to meet you.

And our financial advisor, Ewan Richardson.

Any questions you have about money, investments,

law inheritance tax, you name it, they know it all.

I'm sorry, I'm not crying, it's just me eyes that are watering.

You see, that's what you call a proper motor, a 6.3 litre V8.

Right.

And she's only 176k.

We couldn't get Billy and Tilly in the back though could we?

Should we not think about it?

What's there to think about? He's doing us a fantastic deal.

DOG WHIMPERS

Best not rush into anything, eh?

Where are you going?

I think Billy needs a wee.

Can I have another sit inside?

-Course.

-Cheers.

What were you saying?

Don't know. I think this is when I heard Bob's voice.

Just replay that for me.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it looks to me like you're telling the intruder to "get down".

Now, why would you say that?

I've got a partial around the world cruise here which is a fantastic deal.

Excellent!

How long's it for?

31 nights.

No, I'm sorry, I can't take that much holiday.

Denise, love, you don't need to work anymore.

You don't need the money, you can leave that bloody shop.

Why would I do that? I like my job, and anyway, I wouldn't want to leave Billy and Tilly for that long.

How about an all-inclusive Caribbean cruise on the Royal Arcadia?

It's two weeks in a beautiful princess suite with a large balcony and a butler.

Sounds fantastic.

-You'll visit Jamaica, Barbados, Trinidad, Granada.

-What about wheelchair access?

Me mam can't get about unless...

This particular ship's not really suitable for people with mobility problems, but I could...

We've got the brochures, why don't we have a look and get back to you?

Sorry about that.

We could afford to put your mam in a really nice residential care home now we've got the money.

She wouldn't like that.

How do you know? She'd be with people her own age,

with proper nurses looking after her.

Look at that.

I know you worry about your mam, love.

I've read about these care homes and they don't care at all,

they're horrible places.

Not all of them. Where are we going?

Dogs' Home. She's staying with me.

Right, so we've got all this money and we can't enjoy it cos we're going to be stuck with your mam.

No, that's not strictly correct.

It is. What's the point of us having it if nothing's going to change?

-The point is, Dave, that we haven't got all this money. I've got it.

-What?

How long were you going to leave it?

Leave it?

Before you told me things weren't working out again?

When I'd bought you a Mercedes? When we'd been on a world trip or a couple of cruises?

-Or when I'd put a lump sum into your bank account?

-You've lost me.

When, Dave? When were you going to tell me?

What are you talking about?

I knew you'd fallen out of love with me,

but I had no idea that you hated me so much.

I don't hate you!

You must do, otherwise why would you lie to me and try and trick me?

I don't lie to you!

How long have you known that you...

How long have you known that you...liked men?

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about Chris, me mam's carer.

What about him?

He said you'd been seeing each other for the best part of a year.

-What? That's ridiculous!

-He said you were moving in with him until you heard I'd won the Lottery.

Do you love him?

I'm not even going to answer that!

All right, have you got feelings for him?

I'm not going to have this conversation.

Well, you're going to have to, cos I want to know. I've a right to know.

Know what!?

He's told me everything! You might as well admit it, Dave!

Don't pretend like you don't know.

This is crazy, I'm your husband.

Well, evidently that means nothing.

I want to know if you've got feelings for him!

He's a really nice bloke and we get on together.

-And?

-And...it's not straightforward, it's not easy to understand.

Why don't you try me? I'm not so thick as you think.

All right. It's a really long day when you're by yourself

and I used to look forward to seeing him, that's all.

Right. I get it.

And did...

Oh, God, I can't say it.

I don't even want to think it.

Did you do it with him in our house?

Oh, for God's sake!

It's true, isn't it? I mean, why would he lie to me?

Have you got any idea how you have made me feel?

It's not about you!

It is about me! I married you!

I stood up in a church in front of both of our families and friends and I said my vows.

You're the man that I chose to spend my life with,

I've never slept with anyone else.

You're making a big thing about nothing.

So you spent all of last week at his place.

I had nowhere else to go! And I just needed time to...

to sort myself out, see what I really felt.

And what did you decide?

I wanted to come back to you.

So what's different?

I don't know.

I've won the Lottery, that's what!

I knew you'd think that. So why didn't I come back the minute I heard, then?

Cos it would be too obvious.

Look - all I care about is you and me.

You don't care about me at all.

I do.

You've no idea how difficult all this has been for me, what I've been through.

You have got no idea what I'VE been through! All of this was for you!

Eyes lasered, teeth whitened, everything!

-You didn't do it for me.

-I did! I'm booked in with a plastic surgeon next Thursday

to get me face and me boobs done!

Well, I don't know what the hell for.

Because you made me feel like I was some kind of ugly freak, that's why!

If you'd have been straight with me,

told me you were leaving me for a man, I'd have tried to get my brain round it.

Bloody hell, will you shut up?!

I wouldn't have put up a fight, I would have accepted it,

I'd have had to. I mean, how could I compete with a man?

You're not competing with anyone!

18 months after...

18 months after I lost the baby...

Don't, Denise...

I went to the doctor.

He asked me how often we made love and I lied to him,

because I was embarrassed.

Cos I thought it was my fault, cos I wasn't attractive enough.

My fault cos I wasn't sexy.

I know it was my fault cos you didn't love me enough.

It wasn't your fault.

So anyway, I've bought you the Mercedes.

What?

I went outside and rang them when I took Billy for a wee.

I got the bank to transfer the money over.

They'll deliver it whenever you like, but that's all you're getting.

What do you mean?

I don't want to share my winnings with you, Dave.

Really? I'm your husband, I'm entitled to half of it.

No, Dave, my winnings are not a matrimonial asset.

You'd already left me and you didn't contribute towards the ticket.

I've spoken to a solicitor.

Yeah, I thought you would have.

Well, I expect he's told you that you'll have to apply through the courts

and that'll cost a fortune and anyway,

according to the Lottery solicitor Section 25 of

the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 means you'll get bugger all.

But just in case, I've given a million to the Dogs' Home

and put the rest in me mam's name.

Come on.

So that's it, is it?

A thank you for the car would have been nice!

So this means you can look after me money, does it?

That's right. It's a Power Of Eternity thingy.

Your fish all right?

Lightly done, just how I like it.

Chris won't be coming anymore, Mam.

I'm going to stay at home and look after you meself.

What about your job?

I'm handing my notice in, and...

..Dave won't be coming back after all.

Are you all right?

No. But I will be.

What do you think about having a bungalow built with everything in it to make life easy?

-It'd cost a lot of money!

-We've got a lot of money.

Well, it sounds nice.

I've seen a lovely plot right next to t'Dogs' Home

and I'm going to be working there twice a week as a volunteer.

Aww, that's right up your street!

-Am I still going to Scarborough?

-Well, I thought we'd all go when I finish at t'shop.

-You're not having that operation then?

-No, I don't think I'll bother with that anymore.

I think I'm all right as I am.

You're lovely.

Yeah.

I am.

My life's become a bit of a roller coaster.

Have you any idea who did this to you?

I've been down the nick this morning. If they had owt, they'd arrest us.

I draw the line at playing second fiddle to some third-rate club turn who couldn't keep her knickers on!

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