Episode 5 The Syndicate

-I'll be in touch once I have a court date.

-I'll go to South Africa, to try and give us a few more years.

I found something in the bottom of your wardrobe. A cash bag.

A little red mini with a hood would be nice.

-He knows it was you who hit him.

-No, he doesn't!

I've been to the bank so whenever you want to meet up.

Yeah, sure. Have you got the gear?

Right, you'd better be there!

I'm not handing over a million quid to some lackey. All right?

That American's waiting for you in the other room.

-DOORBELL RINGS

-I'll see you there.

-I'll get it.

-I think we should have alternate boy girl on the sofa.

-Yeah, that's fine.

Right, make space for the main man. Do you want me in the middle?

Yeah, you can go right in between Leanne and Denise.

Oh, any time you like, girls.

It's fantastic.

Money buys you power so no-one can get one over on yer.

No-one can, no-one can hurt yer.

And my life's completely changed.

Why don't you stand up to her, say something?

-It's like you're frightened of her.

-I'm not frightened of me own mother.

PHONE RINGS

-You could've fooled me. When have you stuck up for me?

-I do.

-When?

That's not the point. We're not arguing about me mam.

I'm not having your mother tell me how to bring up my own son.

I'm not even having this conversation with yer.

She thinks cos she's a dinner lady

she knows everything and she blames me for the mess we're in.

Are we right?

-No, I'll see yer there.

-But yer gonna be late.

We've got them idiots from head office coming.

I said I'll see yer there! Do you want me to hold yer hand or sommat?

-They're waiting for me.

-Yer paranoid.

I shouldn't have let you talk me into that holiday!

-That set us back two grand!

-A week in Ibiza, big deal.

Oi! What do you think you're doing?

I'm sorry, there's a gas leak! They're digging up the path!

Hi, Dad, you all right? Yeah, I'm just on me way to work. Listen.

I was wondering, you reckon you could lend us a few quid until...

Yeah, right, well, I was gonna pay you back,

but you went walkabout with what's-her-face, didn't you?

Well, I wouldn't ask yer if I wasn't desperate, they're gonna...

I've gotta go.

Yeah, all right. Get off me!

Hello, Jamie. You decided to take a little detour, did yer?

I want two grand off you or me gear back.

I haven't got your gear.

Looks like we're going for a little ride, boys.

Where you taking me? Boss, seriously, it weren't even my fault.

The bloke who was supposed to buy the gear off me screwed me over!

He nicked it all, I can even tell you where he lives.

I work in a shop, you know where I work,

you can trust me, I'm good at selling stuff!

I'll get you 400 quid as soon as I have been to the bank,

I may be able to stretch to five.

Boss, I promise you I get paid today,

you'll get your money by Tuesday.

-You've been saying that for three weeks now.

-I mean it this time.

I've heard it all before, Jamie.

What yer doing? No honest, honest!

I've sold some stuff on eBay, I'm just waitin' for the money.

And Rumpelstiltskin shagged Sleeping Beauty.

I know I screwed up this time, but you're not gonna lose out,

yer gonna get yer money. I've sold me bike and me laptop.

I done really well.

-I don't believe a bloody word you say.

-It's the truth.

Do you want to know what the truth is?

You work in a shop, Shit-For-Brains.

Shops have big shiny tills that are full of money.

Guess who's gonna be Guy Fawkes.

Oh, God. No, no, no! Please, I'm begging yer.

I'll do anything you want! Please, please.

Don't! I swear you're gonna get your money.

I swear on my mother's life, you're gonna get yer money.

-I'll do anything, anything you want.

-It's too late.

No! OK, listen, listen, listen.

I know the number to the till at work and the safe and it's rollover week...

OK, lads. Bonfire night.

NO! NO! Jesus Christ no!

I'm begging you.

HE SCREAMS

THEY LAUGH

Tomorrow or it's petrol.

Can you undo me?

Eh? Can somebody untie me?

I promise you, I only found out about this two days ago.

-And as soon as I did....

-Sorry I'm late.

This is Stuart's brother Jamie, they're both usually on time.

-Pleased to meet you, Jamie.

-I'm sorry, Bob, have I missed owt?

-We're all being made redundant.

-What, yer jokin'?

Newbury's have bought us out. Yeah. Where is Stuart?

He's on his way in. He's had a row with his missus.

-What?

-What I don't get is, why now?

Last Friday and Saturday we had six and a half grand in that safe

and rollover weekend we sometimes take even more.

On a more positive note, by way of an apology,

Head Office have offered a bottle of whisky or gin to each employee.

And this is the interesting bit.

He picks the whisky bottle up,

not caring that his finger prints are gonna be all over it...

and then he goes to crack Bob Davies' head open with it.

So I gather you chose a bottle of gin?

Yeah, I'm not really a whisky drinker.

But your fingerprints were found

on the neck of the bottle of whisky that the assailant used.

Why do you think that was, Jamie?

-Dunno.

-Shall I tell you why?

-Yeah, go on then.

-The same reason your alibi didn't check out.

Hey look, it's not my fault

if the Black Swan's CCTV got recorded over, is it?

It were nowt to do with me.

-I was there, you spoke to me mate Wayne and he told yer truth.

-Did he?

Your fingerprints were on the whisky bottle

cos it was you that robbed the store

and cracked Bob over the back of the head with it.

Well...

I guess you've thought of everything, haven't you, Columbo?

Hang on a minute,

I remember now,

I don't think you'll be able to tick that box, cos erm,

if you look back at the morning footage, I think you'll find that

Mr Allen offered me the whisky

and I changed my mind.

I gave him it back and went for the gin instead.

I'm sure it'll all be there for you to crawl over.

Now, if there's nothing else,

I've gotta pick my new suit up from my tailors.

I've got to look good for Bob's do tonight.

You think you're invincible now you've won the Lottery. If I were you, I'd save some of yer money

cos you're gonna be needing it to pay for a good defence lawyer.

Thanks for that piece of advice, Inspector Know-all.

Now I think you've gotta let me go.

I've told his son we are coming now.

Well, you just have to tell him I'm not then, won't you?

Don't see why we don't get a decent car.

I've just bought this house, a £20,000 ring

and booked an holiday in St Lucia, so crack yer face.

Hiya.

-Nice house.

-Cheers.

We've got loads to do to it,

but we couldn't stay at yer mam's any longer.

-Oh, come and have a look at the pool.

-Better go, you've been summoned.

-We bought everything off them, even the fishes.

-Oh, bloody hell!

HE LAUGHS

What time are you and Stu setting off tonight?

I'm not going to Bob's do, it's my mate's hen night,

it's been booked for ages.

Oh, right.

I thought you were going...

Hey, look at that, it's heated, right,

and there's a sauna and sunbed room.

It's wicked! Where's yer hen night?

Phonos. 12 of us, it's gonna be messy.

Right. Well, if you want to come back to me club later on,

-I'll make sure they give you a few bottles of fizz.

-Oh, yeah, great.

So if I tell them I'm Stuart's fiancee, will they know who I am?

Yeah. Yeah, course they will. When did you get engaged then?

Oh, he's asked me to marry him loads of times

and I saw this ring in a jewellers in town and I loved it,

so I rang him and he said, "Yeah, just get it."

We might get married in St Lucia

and we'll have a party when we come back.

-We better get off, yeah?

-Yeah.

Hey, great do, Bob, and congratulations!

Thanks.

Hey, Jamie!

Have you got something to say to me, lad?

Good luck in South Africa, mate.

Ain't it lovely? Do you know when you're going to get married then?

Well, he said the honeymoon was in South Africa

so he's going to have to get a move on.

And next week I get the Porsche.

-Oh, you all right?

-Yep.

The room's just there.

-You get yourself sorted babe, all right?

-Yeah.

Yeah.

-You all right?

-Yeah.

Oh, it's our Jamie.

So what are you two up to then? As if I need to ask.

We've just put Stacey to bed.

-Right.

-Well, we have.

Don't, Leanne, he's off his face.

Piss off!

Anyway don't bother me what you get up to, I'm not yer missus.

-All that sniff's given yer brain rot.

-Tosser!

SHE VOMITS

THEY SQUEAL AND CHEER

Hey, boys!

How are you doing?

THEY CHEER

CAR APPROACHES

What are you doing here?

Do you want a lift?

Yeah.

Right, night, girls!

See you after my holiday!

THEY CHEER

Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Cheers, Wayne. Are they treating you well?

Can't complain.

Nice job, eh?

Yeah, good to be earning a bit of money.

And that's for the bit of business yer sorted for me.

Cheers, mate.

The police asked me loads of other stuff,

but I just kept saying what you told me to say.

Job well done, mate.

The whole lot'll be up his nose by morning.

What did you give it him for then?

Cos I owed him and I don't like owing people money,

I've been there, done that.

-So do you still take stuff?

-No, I'm clean.

-Really?

-Yeah, I'm serious.

I had to make a choice when I won the money,

either I sniff the lot away or live the life I've always wanted.

I didn't think you had it in yer.

Well, there you go.

I didn't like being mashed off my head anyway, scared to go outside.

It made me do things I'm not proud of.

-Like what?

-I'm not telling you.

So, changing the subject, have you had a good night?

Oh, it was great to be meself again, not being mum.

I don't see you as just being a mum.

SHE LAUGHS

-Are you schmoozing me?

-No, it's the truth.

So, did you have a good time at Bob's do?

It were a bit boring.

Best bit was when he asked his missus to marry him,

she wouldn't give him an answer till he agreed to go to South Africa.

Awww, you know, first time Stuart asked me to marry him

was when I told him I was pregnant with Jack.

We'd only been together three and a half months. I was so mixed up.

I didn't know if I was going to have the baby or not.

I bet yer glad you did.

Yeah, I am now, cos I wouldn't have had Jack.

But I remember feeling like, really depressed,

thinking that me life were over and everything.

So things worked out for you and our Stu?

I think so.

I mean, I wish he'd stand up to yer mam sometimes

and I don't see why she has to live with us

now we've got all this money.

He'll never do owt to upset me mam. He's always been her favourite.

I suppose I were me dad's favourite.

Do you know what though, he never tells me anything.

Sometimes I think I am invisible.

Might as well have a bag on me head.

I got what I owe yer.

Found a big shiny till, did ye?

How much?

Two grand.

It's three now.

-What?

-Interest, sunshine.

You can't do that. It's all I've got.

Oh, yes, I can. Come on, cough up.

Chop-chop.

Good lad.

I thought I were hearing things when he said

we should take yer mam to St Lucia...

Come on, we're leaving.

-But I haven't finished me...

-Come on.

Jamie!

Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. Look at you in yer snazzy suit.

How are you mate? I heard yer news, you must be made up.

Yeah.

So where you buyin' these days?

Out of town.

Right... And you must be a model, darlin',

-with a face and figure like that.

-Who are you?

-A mate of your boyfriend.

-He's not my boyfriend.

-Come on, Amy.

-Even though he's won the Lottery?

Yeah, well, I'm with his brother and he won it as well.

Good for you, darlin'.

-So rumour has it you're part owner of this place.

-Rumour'd be right.

-If you ever want to talk business.

-I know where to find you.

-We could work together, me and you.

-Yer don't know anything about clubs.

Don't be a dick. I'm not talkin' clubs.

Well, that's what I'm into.

So no, I don't think so.

Do you mind? This is new.

Stuart's gonna go mad when he realises what time it is.

Car's not here, he'll have stayed over.

No, he'd have rung me if he were staying over.

-Maybe he had sommat else on his mind.

-Like what?

HOUSE ALARM SOUNDS

What's the number?

Right. I think we changed it to Daisy's birthday.

Oh, how do you cancel?

It's gonna go off!

2012!

Happy now you've woken the whole bloody house up.

Who yer with?

-No-one.

-< Nanna.

It's all right, darlin', I'm coming.

HE SNIGGERS

Witch!

Why didn't you want yer mam to know you were here?

Cos I don't want her knowing all me business, that's why.

I'm not me brother.

So what did you think to me club then?

It's all right, not my kind of place.

Really, what's your kind of place then?

I don't know. I just think all that stuff's a bit seedy.

Says you sat there looking like a porn star.

I'm only dressed like this cos of the hen night.

Yeah, I know, I'm winding you up. You look fantastic.

Mind you, you could wear a black bin-liner and still look sexy.

-I wish.

-You could, you know you could, an' all.

You're an amazing lookin' bird.

First time I saw yer I thought you were fit.

-Really?

-Yeah! I was dead jealous of me brother.

He don't know how lucky he is.

He's got everything.

Yeah, like you haven't(!)

Nah, I mean, you know, stuff that matters, like you,

-the kids and this house.

-You could buy an house.

What for? If I was with someone that'd be different but...

How come you never keep a girlfriend?

Dunno. I went out with Mel for 11 months,

that's longest I've been out with anyone.

Why did it finish?

I was on't sniff and I nicked 50 quid out of her purse.

-She found out, she dumped me.

-I don't blame her.

You've never tried it, have you?

No.

Have yer got some?

No. I've told you I'm clean and I wouldn't give you any if I had.

-Cheers!

-I like yer, so why would I?

First time I tried it, some lass had just dumped me.

I sat in this pub with me mate and he offered me a line,

went to some house party, next thing I knew,

I'd done in 120 quid of gear.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Has Stuart ever taken any?

Nah.

He's never done owt wrong our Stu, he's never been in trouble.

Till he met me.

That were nowt, just a bad credit rating. I mean real trouble.

Before you knew our Stuart, I did six months in Saddleworth bad boys home for nickin'.

I didn't know that.

Cars, clothes, anything I could get me hands on.

I went a bit mental after me dad left.

I suppose I were a bit like him really,

he was always in trouble, an' all,

HE SIGHS

I bloody loved him though, I used to go everywhere with him.

He used to make me laugh with his stories.

There's this one time, right, him and his mate Steve

nicked this bus, took it up to Blackpool,

they charged people to ride it down the front.

HE LAUGHS

He was proper mental.

I used to go round to his flat after he left,

but the bitch he were livin' with wouldn't let me in.

I hated her.

How old were you?

13.

You see, the thing I couldn't get my head round was...

..why he chose her over me.

And then I got to thinkin'

if he don't give a shit about me, then why should I?

HE EXHALES

Hey, come in t'pool. Come on, water's beautiful.

Stop it! What yer doing?

I'm sorry, you seemed to like it.

Well, I didn't and you should never have done that.

-All right.

-I love Stuart.

I always have. I'm gonna be your sister-in-law.

-I thought you were coming on to me.

-You thought wrong.

TEXT ALERT

Shit!

We'll see how much you love him.

Jamie. Jamie.

Yer mates left you with a shit load of stuff on yer bill.

-HE SIGHS

-They weren't me mates.

Shit.

There's nothing that you could show me that'd shock me.

-I think this would.

-Really?

Yeah. Cos it's your old man.

What are they doing?

I'm saying nothing.

Two mojitos and a pint of lager.

Coming up.

Now then. I haven't seen you round here before.

I haven't seen you either.

Right, well, I'm Jamie. I'm part owner of this place

so from now on I'm gonna be pickin' the staff.

But I'm dead happy with you, darlin',

cos you've got a nice smile and lovely long eyelashes.

-They're false.

-Now, you shouldn't have told me that,

cos I thought they were your own.

-What's your name, then?

-Tanya.

-Tanya.

So are you learning how to be a dancer or what?

No. I'm a student.

I'm just waitressing to earn some money through uni.

I'm more business minded me.

So when I get this place turning over two mill,

I'm gonna open a Blue Shutters in Manchester.

By the end of next year, there should be one in every major city.

-You outside!

-Piss off, I'm talking. I've just had this made, you tosser!

Did you show Amy a photo of me and Leanne on yer phone? Did you?

-I don't know what yer talking about.

-Show me yer phone.

-What for?

Cos yer a lying bastard, that's why.

GLASS SHATTERS

You do anything like that again and I'll kill yer.

Are you all right?

All right, show's over, folks!

Feet!

I've booked six driving lessons.

-Can you hear me?

-Yeah.

It'll make it easier if I can drive our Jack to playschool

-and do the shopping.

-DOORBELL RINGS

That'll be Denise. Mam!

Oh, right, I expect skivy'll get it.

-What's she doing here?

-She wants us all to meet up.

I didn't tell Stuart about you trying to kiss me.

Why would you?

It were weeks ago. Anyway, you came on to me.

I was just telling Denise, Leanne and Stuart are still

-at the solicitors. They shouldn't be long now though.

-Yeah.

-Sit down.

-Thanks.

You've got a wonderful house.

Yeah, I know.

Did you get in touch with Peter?

Yeah. I left a message for Bob at his hotel.

Hot, in't it?

87 degrees today.

Is it? Oh. Yeah.

This, erm, this marriage, it is all above board and everything, yeah?

Yeah, of course, of course.

This is an accredited chapel and I'm the minister.

Right you are, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry, yeah.

Of course, yeah.

It's just, it looks, erm, well, it don't feel real, you know?

Not like the sort of church in England

where people like us normally get married, you see.

That's because we're in South Africa.

Yeah, yeah, I'm being stupid. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just because I'm nervous, I think.

Ah, well. That's perfectly understandable.

You're making a lifetime commitment.

Yeah, and I might not have long left.

I'm sorry?

Nothing, it's not important, it doesn't matter.

I'll shut up now.

Maybe if you listen to the chimes, it will calm you.

Yeah, yeah.

Will you look at that.

What on God's earth made her pick me?

HE LAUGHS

You put the moon and the stars to shame, Annie Baker.

Right, come on, let's get on with it.

Before she changes her mind.

THEY ALL LAUGH

We've just been to see about the new bungalow

-we're having built for me mam.

-< We're back!

-Oh, lovely.

-Where've you been?

-You know where we've been.

-Sorry we're late.

-What are you doing in my house?

-Cheers, bro.

-What's he done wrong?

-He knows what!

-No, I don't.

-I'm sorry, I asked him...

-Don't worry. It's not yer fault.

When you showed me that picture of Stuart and Leanne...

-Not that again!

-..police ended up getting involved.

-Amy.

-Police?

-Stacey in't her kid. She fostered her and she did a runner with her.

-He don't need to know that.

I'm just explaining. God, what do you always take her side for?

-There are no sides!

-It's been hard for us! Especially me!

With her and her daughter living here for three weeks.

We'll be gone soon enough.

You don't have to make me feel even worse than I do.

I've said I'm sorry a million times

and I've tried to make it up to you by letting you stay here, but...

She had no choice, she was bailed to this address.

-You must've said she could be.

-Hang on! Can I just say something?

Look, Leanne, I never meant to cause trouble for you.

Me and you have always been mates.

I should've never taken that picture,

but as far as I was concerned, it was just a bit of fun.

Yeah, well your bit of fun might have cost her her daughter.

-How come?

-The birth mother wants Stacey back, that's how come.

-Oh, shit.

-And she's a junkie. What kind of life is Stacey gonna have

-if the Welsh courts make her give her back?

-That's easy sorted.

-All I need's a name and address.

-Which we don't have.

-Don't you get yourself in trouble again.

She's called Gwyneth Jenkins and she used to live in Portmead.

How the hell do you know that?

Well, when Leanne stole her baby, she did an interview

and it was in the newspaper and it's all on the internet.

-Why didn't you say something before?

-Because nobody asked!

All I came for was to tell you Andy from the Lottery's been in touch

because they want us to do some sort of an interview about

how our lives have changed since we won.

What? For the telly?

I don't know, but I thought we should discuss it

cos I didn't know if you'd want to do it after everything that's happened.

It makes no difference to me anymore.

I've got to go, there's been a break in at the club.

Let me know what you decide. I'm in though. See ya!

So, what shall I tell him?

-Are you gonna get paid for it?

-They've just given us 18 million.

I'll say yes then.

So Stuart, Amy tells me that you're going to get married.

-Are we?

-What do you mean "are we?"

I can't believe you just said that.

We decided we were gonna get married in St Lucia.

Everything's arranged now.

She decided.

I better make Stacey and Mia some tea.

I'm so sorry, I feel like everything that I say is wrong.

I think we best be making tracks, Denise.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may now...

..kiss your bride.

THEY LAUGH

Come on, let's go, we've got a lot to fit in today.

What the friggin' hell happened? They've trashed me Ferrari.

Ah, shit! I didn't check out front.

Jesus Christ, look at the state of you.

Bastards!

We were just opening, security hadn't even got here.

They just burst in and smashed the place up.

I mean I couldn't stop 'em.

-Who rang the coppers?

-Tanya.

And you say they all had Leeds accents, yeah?

Well, two of them, I didn't hear the other one speak.

Trouble seems to follow you around.

In case you don't know, I'm part owner of this place.

-Now are you done with Tanya?

-I think so.

Wayne, get Tanya a taxi home.

No, I'm all right.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

Well, in that case, Wayne, get yourself cleaned up, mate.

Cheers, mate.

So. Did you get anything, off the CCTV then?

-Nothing conclusive.

-Maybe it was one of them that did the shop.

HE SNORTS

You never know.

I've been meaning to ask yer something.

If someone got caught with a load of gear on em, what would they...

What kind of gear?

Cocaine.

How long would they go down for?

Intent to supply or dealing class A, they could get anything up to life.

If I died now, I'd die a happy man.

Don't start.

No, I'm just saying, you know.

Oh, look, Bob. Zebras.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, look at them.

Look. Warthogs. Look. Look.

Look at the little babies.

Oh, look!

Look at those.

They're not scared, are they?

No, well, they live here, don't they?

Hey, hey. Look at that.

Look! Is that a giraffe?

Yeah.

Excuse me, love! Sorry, love. Can you stop please, love?

Hey look at that, eh?

It's amazing.

-The only giraffe I've seen before was on the telly.

-I know.

I've never seen a real one.

Isn't it wonderful?

It's coming over.

Bob!

-Bloody hell. Look at that.

-It's getting a bit close, Bob.

I don't want it too close though.

We could've shared a vehicle, you know,

it would've been cheaper.

I can afford it. Look, look, look, elephants.

-Aww, look, Bob.

-Look at them.

SHE GIGGLES

It's special, in't it?

It's our wedding day and it might be the last day that...

For heaven's sake, Bob.

It's not going to be your last day, so get that out of yer head.

What I was going to say was, "Our last day out and about."

This is our first day as a married couple

and there's gonna be hundreds more.

Did you hear that, up there?

Come on, give us a smile.

-Got the elephants?

-Yes.

Do you know something, you look really well.

Do I? Not bad for three weeks of heavy drugs, is it?

What?

I see you've brought yer muscle with yer.

I see you've brought yours. All right, what do you want?

Money.

There's, erm... Oh, how can I put it?

..a little business opportunity that's sailing our way,

a very lucrative business opportunity,

one I'd like to share with someone who wants to invest, make a few bob.

How much?

A million.

HE SNORTS

-Is that all?

-Which I'll turn into three in two weeks.

That's about the same as what you won on the Lottery, in't it?

-3.6.

-Yeah, well, there you go.

It'll be nice to give it a little boost, won't it?

I bet you've spent a few bob on club, yer Porsche and yer Ferrari.

-Yeah, that you trashed.

-I've got no idea what yer talking about.

But it don't last long these days, does it?

Especially when yer partial to a bit of powder yerself.

I've got a little problem in Wales that needs sorting.

Well, Brian's granny lives in Wales.

Consider it done.

And... How about you leave me a deposit,

you know, out of goodwill.

Say, two kilo for my own private.

HE LAUGHS

It says in front of that menu there,

those mountains are two billion years old.

And I expect they'll still be here after we're long gone.

I expect they will.

So...

Big day tomorrow.

This is supposed to be taking yer mind off things.

It's not working, is it?

We're not talking, but we're both still thinking about it.

You heard what Mr Shapiro said,

he wouldn't do it if he didn't think you had a chance.

A chance. What's the percentage, eh?

Nobody wants to talk about that, do they?

You've got to have a positive attitude, love.

I'm trying.

-If anything goes wrong...

-It won't.

-No, I need to tell you.

-I don't want to hear it.

-Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway.

-I'm not listening.

Annie, I need you to listen!

Then I can go into that operating theatre

knowing everything's taken care of. All right?

If things don't go well and I'm left-brain dead or locked in,

I want you to turn the machine off, all right?

Yeah.

Right. OK.

I want my body flying back to England

and I want burying in Gledhill cemetery

and make sure you get the plot next to it for you, yeah?

I don't want any flowers,

I want donations made to brain tumour research.

I want Bruce Springsteen's Thunder Road

when people come into the church, right.

I want them playing that and then...

I'm sorry, but this is as far as you can go.

Oh, I won't be a second, I just need to tell my wife something.

Right, I want Bruce Springsteen when people are coming into the church

and This Life when they put me in the ground. Right?

The house, the money, everything I've got, that's yours, right?

But just make sure the lads are all right...

Course.

..especially our Mathew what with Gemma being pregnant

and him being a bit of a dreamer, you know.

So...

I'll either see you in intensive care or Gledhill cemetery.

-I love you!

-I love you.

Love you.

OK. Thank you, thank you very much. Sorry.

-Where's all me shirts?

-They're all packed.

You'll have to open the case and take one off the top.

I can't wait to get on that plane.

Tina says you get champagne and movies in first class.

They know we've got a limo coming later, don't they?

Yeah.

You could jump bail.

We could run away.

I did something wrong

and now I've got to get it sorted,

for Stacey's sake.

There's plenty of people that do things wrong

and never end up payin' for it.

They spend the rest of their lives looking over their shoulder,

worried that it's gonna catch up with them.

Yeah.

So are Denise and Rodney gonna bring you back?

I don't know that I'm coming back.

Right.

Do you mind if we take a bit of footage of you and the house, Joyce?

It's not my house, it's our Stuart's.

I live up there, above the garage.

That's all right, two-car garage, not bad.

It's nice. It's lovely.

Mandy, get this, right here.

It's our Jamie. That must be for me.

And that's Jamie, your youngest son, right?

Yeah, that's right.

SHE LAUGHS EXCITEDLY

That's wonderful.

Oh! Oh!

-It's a present for you, Mam.

-Oh, Jamie!

I hope you like red?

Oh, love.

SHE SQUEALS WITH EXCITEMENT

There you go. Oh, this is Tanya by the way.

Hello, love. How are you? Nice to meet you.

-Can she be in the documentary?

-No.

-You go ahead, Tanya, I'll be in in a minute.

-Yeah.

-Are you Jamie's girlfriend?

-No, I'm not.

Oh, thanks, love! It's gorgeous!

SHE GIGGLES

Oh, Jamie!

I'll have that cash bag you found now.

I burnt it, same day as I found it.

Did you really think I'd shop my own son?

I can't believe you want to do the interview in that horrible T-shirt.

What does it matter?

So, I thought we'd do a couple of group interviews,

then some individual ones, OK?

We could do them round the pool or in't orangery.

You've got a pool?

Yeah.

Didn't Stuart tell you?

Mam show you her Mini?

-No.

-It's parked up outside. You should go have a look at it.

I think your mother was very touched.

Yeah. He's all heart, my brother.

Come on, I'll show you the pool.

Do you want me to talk about how I hadn't paid my Lottery money?

No, no need. I'm sorry you had to go through all that.

I was just a bit shocked

when I found out it was our Jamie that hadn't voted for me.

Oh, it's all right, he told me.

I thought it was a strange thing for one brother to do to another.

Hey, Leanne.

Just so you know, should go all right in Wales

cos Stacey's real mum, she's not gonna be in court, I sorted it.

-What?

-She's having a nice holiday with a few quid in her back pocket,

seems like she wanted that more than her daughter back.

-Oh, my God! You shouldn't have done that.

-Why not?

Sometimes you've got to take matters into your own hands,

tip the scales a bit. Anyway, I owed you after all the trouble I caused.

DOORBELL RINGS

-I think we should do alternate boy girl on the sofa.

-Yeah.

What time are you leaving?

Straight after this, cos it's a five hour drive.

Right, make space for the main man. You want me in the middle?

Yeah, you can go between Leanne and Denise.

Any time you like, girls.

Someone wants to see you.

Who is it?

Me!

THEY LAUGH

Look who it is. Bloody hell, Bob.

-I can't believe you're back.

-Awww, Bob!

He wanted to come straight from the airport.

I wasn't going to miss out this time, was I?

We brought a little something for the kids.

Look at this house! Oh, hello. A bloody mansion.

It's got five bedrooms, a pool and a nanny flat.

It's so lovely to see yer.

Well, it's lovely to be here.

Come on then, how are yer all?

Never mind us, how are you?

Well, it worked, they think they got it all.

Obviously they can never say 100%, I've got to have some more treatment

and hopefully I'll be all right.

-That's fantastic news.

-The best.

-How was it?

-When I came round from the op, I had a head from hell.

-He had to have a lot of painkillers.

-I'm still on them.

I swear it was worse than that crack on the head with the whisky bottle.

Worth it though, eh?

Oh, yeah, well worth it. I wouldn't be here otherwise, would I?

Oh heavens, I nearly forgot, may I introduce you

to Mrs Annie Davies.

Aw!

-Congratulations.

-Cheers, thank you.

Well made up for you, Bob.

Bob, would you mind if we throw you in at the deep end?

Oh, no.

Go ahead and just look straight into camera.

Right.

Bob, how's winning the Lottery changed your life?

Well, it took a bit of time to sink in at first,

what with the crack on the head and that and, er,

I wasn't sure how much money to give my lads, you know.

I mean, it's a responsibility, isn't it?

But...you know...erm....

Anyway, Annie, Annie, Annie.

On a more positive note, it's bought me more time

to spend with the woman I love, God willing.

We're getting off, I've got a club to run.

Before you do, can I have a word?

Yeah, sure. You can wait in the car, Tanya.

See ya.

Why did you vote for me not to get the money?

What are you talking about?

-Andy told me.

-Liar.

I just don't understand why you wouldn't want me

to have a share of the winnings.

You wouldn't have even been part of the syndicate

if it wasn't for me getting you a job.

-You got yer money, what's the problem?

-You knew I was skint.

I couldn't afford anywhere for me and Amy to live.

How could you do that to your own flesh and blood?

-You put her before me.

-What?

That day before we won the Lottery, the morning Amy left,

you knew they were waitin' for me, but you didn't give a shit, did yer?

All you bothered about was her. You let me go out there meself.

She was leaving me!

You've no idea what they did to me! You've no friggin' idea.

I know what you did to Bob.

That's got nothing to do with Bob.

You're my brother, I looked up to you and yer let me down,

just like Dad, just like every other tosser!

I'm gonna hand myself in. I'm gonna tell the coppers everythin'.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Wanker!

It has been a good thing though

because I've been able to make people's lives better,

especially me mam's.

I am so pleased things are working out for you, Denise.

I don't think it's made my life any better.

I think I was happier before.

I'm sorry to hear about your trouble, love.

-I hope it goes well in Wales.

-Thanks, Bob.

I've bought a house and I don't owe anythin' to anyone any more.

I suppose it's made me sort my life out though.

I don't think winning the Lottery's changed me...

..it's the people around me what's changed.

What time's your taxi coming?

I don't know,

I don't care.

-Once you get to St Lucia, you'll forget all about me.

-I won't.

I know you think I'm just this sad bloke who's got a thing for yer...

-No, I don't.

-It's all a bit embarrassing.

I bet you can't wait to get in that car and leave.

You couldn't be more wrong.

I wish we were both free to do what we want, but we're not.

I can't do this any more.

-I'm coming with you.

-No, you're not. Amy and your family need you.

I don't love her any more and she don't love me.

She only came back cos of the money.

That's not true.

It is.

At Bob's party,

you said I didn't have to do anything to make you love me.

I shouldn't have said that.

Tell me you don't feel anythin' for me and I'll forget it.

Tell me.

We've both got things we need to sort out before we can...

Before what?

What if I get things sorted, what if I get me life straightened out?

I not gonna change my mobile number.

SHE SOBS

What's the matter, Mum?

You all right, love?

No, just drive please.

-I don't know what we're doing here.

-There's something I want you to see.

Here we go.

All right, wait here!

HE KNOCKS ON CAR DOOR

Get in!

Just so you know, if anything dodgy happens, my bird's in the Porsche

and she can speed dial straight through to my lads.

That's not very trusting of yer, considering what I've done for you.

Your little taffy squeeze cost me 2k and a couple of grammes.

How do I know yer not gonna tie me to a tree and set fire to me?

Bless his little cotton socks. Did I frighten you?

-Have you got the stuff?

-Have you got the money?

My bird's just giving it a final count now.

-You're sweating, son.

-It's a lot of money.

Show me the gear and I'll go get it.

Daz.

HE SNIFFS

It's good stuff.

Jumped up little arsewipe.

What was all that about?

You'll see.

CAR ENGINE STARTS

What's he doing now? I don't like this. Go! Go! Go!

SIRENS APPROACH

Get off!

HE LAUGHS

CAR HORN BEEPS

Have that, you tosser!

You bastard!

No point taking my wedding dress, even though it cost thousands.

So how long do you need to think about things?

I don't know. You just enjoy yer holiday.

That's not gonna happen is it, cos you've ruined it for me.

I'm sorry, Amy. Buy yourself something new.

Don't worry, I intend to. Are you going to be here when I'm back?

I've no idea.

It's her, isn't it?

No.

It is.

I'm not stupid.

Bye, Daisy.

You're not the man I thought you were, Stuart.

You've changed since you've won the Lottery.

Thanks for going with her, Mam.

At least the kids'll be fed.

Don't row with her, she's not all bad.

Now then, little man, come here.

Are you gonna be a good boy for your mummy and nana. Yeah?

Why are you not coming?

I can't, mate. I've got few things I have to sort out, OK?

Come here.

Don't you worry, I'll take care of 'em.

You do what you have to do.

Come on, love.

People like that shouldn't be allowed to get away with it.

They could've had guns or anything.

-Yeah, they're proper thugs. All right, Wayne?

-All right.

You put my life in danger without telling me.

I wanted you to see what happens to bullies.

Yeah, well you should've asked me.

-Two gin and tonics please, mate.

-Will do, boss.

I get paid £8 an hour, I don't mind picking your mum's car up with you,

-but I draw the line at...

-Well, how much do you want?

-To do what?

-I'll give you more money.

Listen, I don't want you waitin' tables any more, all right?

I think yer better than that. I'd like to look after you.

You can continue with yer studies, but I'm buying this penthouse

and well, I'd like you to move in with me.

Why would I want do that? I don't even know you.

Job well done, officer, come to give me a reward, have yer?

James Andrew Bradley, I am arresting you on suspicion of armed robbery

-and grievous bodily harm...

-What?

-You do not have to say anything...

-What? Are you mental?

I've just given you, on a plate, the biggest drug dealers in Leeds.

..Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

-What armed robbery?

-Right Buy U supermarket on the 14th of October.

-What a load of bollocks.

-Not according to your brother.

He's pissed off with me

cos I didn't vote for him to get his Lottery money.

Never mind, my brief'll sort all that out.

I'll get me stuff.

Go with him.

Sir, he's driven off, he's gone.

Shite!

SIRENS BLARE

Stay with him, Steve. Move it.

Gone right, he's gone right.

Come on then, let's see what you've got.

PHONE RINGS

Shit!

SHIT!

SIREN APPROACHES

'Jamie it's me.

'I've rung the coppers, I couldn't live with myself any more.

'I'm sorry.'

Please get urgent assistance.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Winning the Lottery's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

HE LAUGHS

Life's sweet!

HE LAUGHS

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd