Episode 2 Truckers

This programme contains some strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature

Come on now. Eh? Come on! Last challenge. Lots of support.

Lots of talking.

We're Banks of England.

Let's do it! No. Eh?

I ain't chucking myself off there. There's a reason they invented escalators, you know.

But...you said you were up for it? I didn't think you were serious. Did you?

Well, yeah. What, and you're going to do it? As long as somebody goes with us, yeah.

That's the spirit! Oh, come off it! Has someone farted?

What do you expect? It's a wonder I haven't filled me pants. You sure you haven't?

I don't mind going first, Martin. Or me. I were in 2 PARA.

Yeah, Parachute Regiment, Bob. Crucial difference being here

when you go over the side, you won't be wearing said parachute!

Mal, that's why we're here. The whole point of today, teamwork, communication.

And now I need you to front up. I don't want to.

"I"! "I"! "I"! There is no "I" in team, is there, Malachi?

No. But there is a "U" in... Mal, why don't you just take a proper look and then you can decide.

Because I'm not a team player! It's summat I pride meself on. It's why I'm a truck driver,

so I can sit in me cab on me own and not speak to another soul from morning till night.

God! You're incredible, you are!

Oh, all right then! You'll only explode if I don't.

Go on, Mal! ALL CHEER

You can tell us what else you've got planned on the way to the bottom.

Turn us into a lean, mean trucking machine.

You can't leave it, can you? No, you can't leave it.

We were getting on fine and then you pole up. What are you trying to prove?

Jesus!

Martin! Martin, you all right, mate?

He's OK. I thought he'd bloody died.

It was his fault, not getting with the programme. It's a load of bollocks. It's still a day off.

A day off doing bollocks is better than a day on at work! What's better than a day on at work?

Wahey! He's back! How you feeling, mate? Yeah, good, good.

Thanks. I didn't know I was like that with heights.

Well, you wouldn't would you, till you got up there. Yeah.

Yeah, anyway, so I've booked us in at The Burger Shack, so we can chat through what we've done today,

see how we can use it to implement change, improve best practice, you know? Here you are.

Are you not going? No. No, I feel a bit...wobbly still.

So, I'll see you all at work tomorrow, yeah? See you, Mart.

Martin, I'll come with you. Just so you get home.

Poor bastard. He's white as a sheet.

He's not thinking straight, that's for sure, he's left us a bloody fortune. Come on!

No, Dad, it's... Glen, there's better places in Nottingham

to promote the full-on bonding experience than that burger bar,

especially when you're wedged up.

All right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Gone well, gone well.

That spat on the roof, you could interpret that as a sign of failure, but that's actually a part of it.

They said that on the course, if you get one or two wankers,

those that are trying to rock the boat, then that's actually a positive,

because you want your people to air their grievances instead of storing up any resentment.

They weren't storing anything up today though, were they?

I bet you felt a right twat.

I wouldn't say a...twat. Obviously, it wasn't ideal just... dangling there.

There's nothing wrong with me ideas, it's just that they are my ideas and not me dad's.

It's like being the son of Pele or something.

It don't matter what you do, if you follow a God,

you're always going to disappoint by comparison, aren't you?

I mean, who has ever managed that? Jesus. Eh?

You've got to stick to your guns, that's what I reckon.

And I reckon your dad does too.

I bet he's looking down now and he's nodding his head,

because he knows if you don't move forward in business, you've had it.

So you've got to try a few new things. And they'll come to see that an' all.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

Come on, I'll treat you to a Toblerone.

I think there's a place round there. Actually, I think I might walk.

I can meet Andrea from work and the exercise'll do us good.

Might help clear me head, you know, of the thought.

The twat thought.

The difference is Tony would have never passed out. No, the difference is, Big Tone

would never have taken us up there. He'd have brought us here,

but he'd have steered well clear of that roof. Tone just knew how to do things.

Two lagers and a Coke. And the kitty's empty.

We can't be through all that that Martin give us already, surely?

Just chip in, will you? I'm not even drinking.

Where's Steve? He needed to borrow his cash,

only Bob didn't have any spare on him, so Steven got him to grab a cab

so they could go back to Bob's house and pick up the wonga there.

He says he'll come straight back. Bob won't because of the strippers.

He says he don't feel comfortable on account of him being a Christian,

so on that basis, he ain't chipping in.

D'you write that all down or summat, then learn it?

No, I just got a bit confused at the bar about the order and then he gave me a Chinese burn.

Anyway! In the spirit of the Banks' A-Team...to absent friends. Absent friends.

But like I said, he is coming back. She means Big Tone!

Right.

PHONE RINGS

Hey! All right? What you doing here? Finished early.

Thought we'd go home together. Ah! Any time.

Mmm! Sorry, I'm that bloated. We had a big press launch today.

You weren't sampling, were you? What do you think? I've got my shoot tomorrow.

But there was a finger buffet. You know what it's like when it's just there.

I had two Parmesan straws and a vol-au-vent.

It's a great sight this, innit? Big business, everyone getting on with it, a common goal.

Didn't it go very well today at work? No, it did. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, some bits more than others, obviously, but...

Did someone shit themselves abseiling?

No! No, it's just... It's attitude more.

You know, they're so resistant. What, all of 'em?

Yeah, I think so. It's hard to tell, I'm so close to 'em. That's what you're doing wrong.

You've got to create a bit of distance. I know. You're just saying that.

That's because it is actually quite difficult in my case.

I already have a history with these people. I can't un-invent that!

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

That's what we like to say in the alcoholic beverage industry.

I think a lot of people say that. Martin, I'm trying to help you! Yeah, sorry.

You're in charge now. And the whole point about being in charge

is that you leave the crappy stuff, like stress, to other people.

LIFT PINGS Come on.

Get 'em out!

Three lagers, three Jager Bombs, three absinthes and a Coke.

Glen, get us a packet of cheese and onion, will you?

CHEERING Bloody hell!

Yeah! Connoisseur, are you?

I like a stripper as much as the next bloke, Steven.

Have you got a problem with that?

CHEERING

CROWD: Oh!

Sorry, love! It's all right, love, it ain't my glass.

Hey, hey, hey! That's mine. You did that the last time.

No, I had the fanny pint. I thought it went in my Coke? No, remember cause I got that...

Whatever! He didn't have it and it went in his glass!

Mal, calm down! Bloody hell!

You're shaking! Is it a delayed reaction to being on that roof? I can call Martin for you if you like,

see if you can go and lie down with him in a darkened room with a flannel on your head.

I'm not shaking, I'm just pointing out what a selfish bastard you are!

Oh, shut up! Don't tell me to shut up.

Malachi! You're sitting there on your fat arse,

everyone running round after you... Can you sit down, mate! ..ordering my lad to the bar.

I don't mind, Dad. Never once saying thank you. Sit down!

Thank you?! Manners matter!

Even during a strip show with a girl firing ping-pong balls out of her fanny.

Sit down! Oi, shut up! What is your problem? You are!

Dad! Shit! Mal! Mal, I'm sorry! You prat! Sorry.

I'm sick of asking you lot nicely. Oi, I'm busy! I hurt me mate, all right?

Hey! Hey! Leave him alone! Yeah, you want to have a go?

Oh, I dunno, do bears shit in the woods or is it just on your face?

You're not still at it?

Bloody hell! What? Can you see cellulite?

No. No, you're...perfect.

Hmm. Well, aren't you the lucky one?

Seriously, Martin, you've got to have some downtime.

It's like you can't take pleasure in anything at the moment. I've got a lot on my mind, I said that

at the yard. I've... Yeah, and I said you've got to control it. And I'm trying to do that.

But I don't want 'em thinking I've come back here

just to start throwing my weight around. Stop! Stop! Stop right there and listen to me.

Your dad had his own face spray-painted on the side of his wagon

and not because he was a vain man,

but because he knew what it showed, he'd got to the top.

And he wanted people to see that, because he realised it'd make 'em trust him.

It were proof he was good at what he did.

Same as this. I could have got a plain white business card, but I didn't,

because I want the people who I meet to look at that and see my glutes and see my abs

and understand that I do not do compromise,

not in my body and not in light spirits and mixers. Are work OK about these?

The point I'm making is confidence sells! I've slogged to get this body.

For the past ten years I've watched every single morsel I've put in my mouth.

I even know the calorific value of sperm, Martin,

plus I train 11 times a week, so why wouldn't I be confident?

And that's how you've got to be. How your dad was. Yeah, I understand.

You've made it, you're there, you're the MD.

So you've got to act like you are and that's what'll smooth things over with all the others.

Cos if you are confident, people buy what you're selling and once that happens you generate success.

And once you're successful, you won't hear any doubting voices, believe you me.

Yeah, I know. I know, you're right. It's all about attitude.

That's obvious. I've just got to believe in meself and do it.

You know, stop worrying about what other people are thinking.

That doesn't matter.

Proof of the pudding is in the eating, innit?

Come on. I hate seeing you miserable.

Plus, I only did three miles earlier,

I could do with a bit more cardiovascular.

I'm saying help yourself, access all areas.

Stop it! Stop thinking about 'em.

You just said, proof of the pudding,

so pole up tomorrow and do what needs to be done.

Show 'em you're a man to be respected! Now, come on.

I want to be in the pool at seven, I'd like to get some sleep.

HE EXHALES

BEEPING No.

BEEPING No.

Unbelievable! I take you on a team-building exercise and you end up in a riot.

To be fair, we was all rioting on the same side.

Amber! Get in!

BEEPING Oh. Bollocks!

That's 14 hours! What were you drinking?!

It was like a lager top, but with absinthe instead of lemonade.

Plus, we had a couple at the after cell. After cell?

It's the same as an after party but, like, when you've been arrested.

We went back to Steven's. He made us eggnog, put on Skrillex.

PHONE RINGS

Hello, Banks of England. How may we help you?

No. I'm sorry, we've had some fuelling issues today, but we'll be there ASAP.

Thank you.

Groves. Can't Wendy get it? She's too far away, she'll never make it across in time.

I can still make it, long as I'm off before two. Not without setting off every speed camera

between here and Tamworth, you can't.

Jesus! How long are you going to keep this up for? What are you on about? Sabotage!

Coming in with pure ethanol in your veins, not playing ball yesterday.

All right, don't have a go at us over that, cos as far as I remember the only person in this room

who arranged for us to leap off a tower block for no apparent reason

and then suggested we all go out on the lash to get over it was you.

So if there's anyone's to blame, Martin... These are proven techniques!

As is paying for your crew to go out on a good piss-up, which is exactly what your dad would have done.

Don't bring him into it. I'm just saying,

on this occasion you've delivered and in the familial manner, which we all appreciate.

He's right, Mart, it was a cracking night and we'll respond,

soon as we're sober enough to get back behind the wheel. Hmm.

I'll go. What?! I'll do Groves, then I'll take in Micky Saunders on the way back.

What's Glen going to drive? I'll take me Dad's!

Don't blame you, Concourse winner that is. Hey up, Micky. How are you?

Only the best for Big Tone, eh? Yeah. I've just had all the paintwork touched up, actually.

I was thinking about showing it at Truckfest. Oh, you should do. It'd be a nice tribute to him.

How's it all going, anyway? You still enjoying it, life at the top?

Oh, you know, not too bad. Oh, I saw Malachi last month, he said you were being a right wanker with 'em.

I'm joking!

Eh, you can't have 'em topless now, you know, in case we get women customers in. They object.

Don't make any odds though, does it really, from the looking point of view? I mean, a rack's a rack!

Right, there you go. That's May and June self-billing. Cheers. Thanks.

There you are. Thank you very much.

I can remember the very first day you come in in that, you know?

With your dad. You could only have been about eight.

"Oh, he's bloody begged us. I had to bring him."

I was always on at him. School holidays, weekends, whenever.

Aye. Can't believe he's gone. How long is it now? Five, six months?

Three. Three, bloody hell!

Life sweeps you up again quickly, don't it? I've noticed that.

Well, you're doing all right, anyway, running things. Thank you.

Just stick with what you learnt off him. I know.

That college degree's all right, but it's what's in the blood, that's what you've really got to trust. Yeah.

Tone used to say that, hard work and gut instinct, you don't need anything else.

Thanks. Right, anyway, I better get going.

Aye, I'll see you next month, eh? Yeah.

Er, no, actually, cos I'm rationalising all the payment arrangements.

It's one of the things that I'm bringing in. I did it at my last company.

Moving everything over to BACS, you know, with our regular suppliers, so everything'll happen automatically.

You'll get payments in your company account same time every month.

Oh, sounds impressive. Yeah. Only...we'll stick as we are, eh?

No, no. No, I'm saying... No, I'm saying we'll carry on like this.

How it's always been. Banks and Saunders. Cash deals. That's how we'll stay.

Michelle?

You're back early. Yeah. I took a bit of a short cut, you know, to catch up with the backlog.

Just...down Cundy Lane.

Well, the good thing is, I'm fine.

And I think it's quite cosmetic, when you look closely.

Christ!

I'll call the insurance people, will I? Yeah.

Insurance!

Well, you moan, don't you, but the first time summat untoward happens... Untoward?

Well, yeah.

You think this is untoward? Well, it's not ideal, is it?

No, in many ways, it's not. Right, so it's just as well then.

You shouldn't have been down there!

We never go down there because of all the trouble we've had in the past!

No, you're all right in some of the wagons. Some of them?!

What do you expect? You bang on about empowerment and turning us into stakeholders

and as soon as I seize the initiative... When did I say drive it into a bridge?!

Eh! I don't know what your problem is at the moment,

but for your information, the last time somebody hit that bridge - Mal -

Big Tony, he just laughed it off.

He said they must've lowered it since the last time he went that way.

And the following morning, we all come in two hours early

to make sure we could pull in all the tips we missed cos of the accident.

THAT'S feeling like you're part of something.

HE LAUGHS Hey! Cundy Lane! Odds on! T'in't funny, Malachi!

Oh, come on, it is. Did you take out the railway line an' all?

Has she told you, I hit it years ago, ended up with a sleeper right through me cab roof.

On the plus side, I ended up with 250 quid from the union

and cited for three bravery awards cos I helped flag down

the Edinburgh to London express before it disappeared into the abyss.

Just leave it, will you? All right, if it's a delicate matter. I'll see you both tomorrow. Michelle!

Where you going? Home. I want to get a bit of fishing done.

You've finished? Yeah. Fastest man in the yard still. Ping!

You took all your breaks, didn't you? Excuse me! It's the law, innit? Anyway, it's all on me card.

Check that if you're worried.

Martin, I don't mean to add to things but... What?

Well, they're not here, the insurance documents.

I've already looked in there... and the back room.

So where else could they be, then? I don't know.

Well, you should know! You're the officer manager! I'm the transport manager, actually.

And as regards the insurance or the lease hire arrangements,

or the national insurance contributions, or any of the financial affairs of this company,

I've never had any control over them cos your dad liked to take care of all of that himself!

Right. OK. Understood. I'll look into it.

Aye up, Mum. Oh, Martin! Hang on.

Are you safe doing that on your own? Course I am. I worry.

You always worry. I'm fine!

Mmm. Come in.

You won't find anything. I told you, everything he had was in his study and you cleared all that out.

I know, but I might've missed something. You won't have, not in there or anywhere else.

You remember how he was, don't you? He'd say, "If I'm spending half a million pounds on my dream house,

"I'm buggered if it's going to be stuffed with a load of work rubbish!"

THEY LAUGH

Hey, Mum! Mum.

Mum. Come here.

I'm all right.

Oh, I mean, I'm getting there.

SHE INHALES Don't smell, do I?

No. You're lovely. I can't not do it at my age.

You're not old! I'm on the cusp!

Get into any bad habits now and everything'll go south at once.

I've seen it with me friends. He loved my figure, your dad did.

That's why he married me.

He said I reminded him of Bo Derek.

The perfect 10.

God!

You come such a long way with someone, Martin, achieve so much.

It's hard...losing a man like him.

Listen, Mum... I think you're right, I don't think there is anything here.

So, you know, I'm a bit up against it for time, so I... What about your coffee?

How's it all going? OK. They're all picking up quite well.

Listen, if I was a bit short with you earlier, I'm sorry.

I've got a lot on my mind at the moment, I shouldn't take it out on you. It's fine.

But... What?

Well, I called in at Dixons, the leasing people,

to see if they had a copy of the wagon insurance and they didn't.

Only, while I was in there, they reminded us the final balloon payment on all the trucks is due on the 30th.

Yeah. Yeah, I saw that somewhere.

And it's 26,000, each vehicle.

No, no, that's...that's wrong.

It should be half that. Less. They were adamant that was the figure.

Based on a lease payment of ?600 a month on each.

600?! We've been paying nearly twice that.

You see, he's got his figures wrong.

Well, except...they keep records, detailed records from way back.

Whatever's been going out from us, they've been receiving 600 a month.

What are you saying? Well, nothing, it's just... It won't be anything sinister, Michelle.

It's just an admin thing. Yeah. Only I checked with the accountant.

I mean, I thought I should. Of course, he'd only audited the figures he was given

and he didn't have any of the books. He said they were all sent back here. Tony insisted.

But...they're not here.

You have been busy.

Martin. Well, how do you expect me to react?

You stand there and you accuse me dad... I'm not. You're accusing him of cooking the books!

We owe 100 grand, give or take.

That's the final settlement figure on all the wagons.

Which we've got to pay back in the next two months.

And if we can't do that, we'll be out of business.

Hiya.

What you doing? Oh, nothing.

You OK?

Yeah. Sorry, just...it's still not brilliant at work.

I thought we'd agreed? Yeah, it's not that easy.

Well, it is. If your best efforts fail, then hit 'em with your worst.

That's what we like to say. Are you with me or are you on the dole?

I can't do that. No, you WON'T do that.

I'm not arguing with you, anyway. I've had too good a day. Why, what's happened?

Me session, it went like a dream.

What session? Are you serious?!

Why do you think I was on that sunbed all morning, risking cancer and varicose veins in me vulva?

I... Me shoot. All afternoon! Yeah. Shit! Sorry.

I mean, which one? Body Image! Yeah, of course.

Flipping heck, Martin, I try and support you on what you do! I know.

So why don't you support me?! I do. You don't!

You think me wanting to be a fitness model is a bit of a hobby? Andrea...

It's the only thing I've ever wanted to be, Martin!

When all the other little girls were growing up, dreaming of becoming vets or doctors,

I were longing to be the girl showing off the bras in the JJB catalogue.

I prayed at night. "God, give me 9% or less body fat and I won't flick myself off before I go to sleep."

That's what fitness modelling means to me! I know that. I do, I know it.

And... I'm really sorry that I forgot. OK?

SHE SIGHS Forgive me. Please.

All right, then. This time.

In any case, I've got the whole thing here. Brilliant. Yeah.

Bloody hell!

That...

Hmmm.

Whoa! I know. That's me favourite.

And Rod, the photographer, he was so blown away, he's booked me again.

Ripped Abs.

Wow, that's... I mean, it's for another on-line one, is it?

All given over to the abdominal area?

Yeah, yeah, plus some of me backside probably.

You need to show that, so you see the full extent

of your external obliques but, my arse in Rod's hands, Martin, I feel

completely confident cos I've seen a load of his other stuff now.

Right. He went to Saint Martins. It's an art college.

I mean, he's in his 60s, you'd never tell and his CV's amazing.

Well, it's obvious, innit, with his background?

Yeah, yeah I'm not sure art's the first thing I think of

when I look at 'em.

I mean, they are very near the knuckle, aren't they?

What? Well, they're saucy. You know.

Bit, how's your father? They're pornographic! Porn!

Well, soft porn. I mean certainly the kind of stuff you, you know...

Oh, Jesus! What's the matter with you?

You've gone all northern, since you moved up here.

We're in the East Midlands.

Well, it's north if you've lived in Radlett!

And it's north in your head, all mucky and Readers Wives.

I just... I thought we shared a dream.

I thought we were buildin' a life together?

You're overreactin'.

No! I'm startin' to realise that this relationship is all one way!

With me doin' all the shorin' up and makin' all the sacrifices

and you, well, have you looked in a mirror recently?

Has it ever occurred to you, that you might like to be a bit

more grateful? Andrea...

Well, Martin, I'm sorry, facts are facts.

What about the first time you introduced me to Tony?

"You're punchin' a bit above your weight there, son, aren't you?"

Your own dad! He knew.

I remember him sayin' that, clear as day. Can't you?!

Yeah, I can. Yeah, well, then, Martin, you need to up your game!

So you're the chosen one, are you?

Hey! I'd sooner rather have mine.

Except Wendy's got that till hers is fixed.

Yeah, well, she'll crash that, so you'd better get familiar.

All right, lads. Can I have a quick word? Bob, you n'all.

Just to say I've got a bit of a request to make.

I need you all to check with Michelle, before you leave,

whether you're Friday or Monday for your CPC training.

Steven and Wendy... CPC?

Certificate of Professional Competency.

I know what it is. But I am competent. We all are.

Well, that isn't really the point. The point is ...

The thing is, Mart, I'm all for it.

There's some terrible truckers out there on the road.

Get them qualified to high heaven if you want my opinion,

I'm just sayin', I dun't need it. But we have to do it.

Big Tone never mentioned it.

Listen, I, I don't care what's been said or not, prior to now.

You know, the facts are, we have to be CPC qualified

by September 2014 or you can't drive a lorry.

So that's what we're going to do. OK?

Martin? It's your mum.

Oh, Martin! Do something. Quickly! Jesus.

All the neighbours have been looking. What did they say?

Rubbish! That he hadn't kept his payments up, but he never

did that sort of thing! He said, you saved and you bought it outright!

You got the paperwork for the car? I looked but couldn't find it.

They left these, but it's wrong. They're wrong, Martin!

No, no, they're not! Not if it's all written down in black and white.

But it says it's 11,000. That's what's owin'.

I can pay it.

I can get a banker's draft by the end of the day.

You'll have the car back by tomorrow. Thank God you came.

I couldn't bear it if they took his Bentley. I know.

He loved that car so much. I'm dealin' with it!

I'm sorry, but when I find the paperwork, I'll show you,

cos it's a mistake.

Apart from the fact your dad wouldn't make that sort of an error,

a business error. He wouldn't put me in this position.

He wouldn't do that to me, because he wasn't that sort of a man.

Michelle, it's me. Get 'em in. The wagons, all of 'em.

They're not insured.

Michelle, please, I... I just know.

Ey, what's going on? We've got a problem.

Yeah, we gathered that. Get straight back and be bloody careful.

So, what is it?

There's no insurance on the trucks. What?

Oh, bloody hell, Martin.

It's only just come to light. Literally! None of 'em are insured?

No, I am dealing with it.

But what about now? We can't drive 'em like this.

No, no, you can't, so, for the time being, you'll all have to go home.

EVERYONE: What? Look, I'm sorting it! Like I said.

There's not a bigger issue here, is there, you're not tellin' us about?

If we need to start lookin' for new jobs... No. No, you don't!

It's administrative. That's all. An oversight... An oversight!

You're tellin' me it is! I mean, it's one thing having to cope

with the bloody team buildin' bollocks

and all the gobbledegook about company ethos and that,

but sendin' us out in wagons that aren't insured,

it's purrin' our lives at risk.

Don't you dare talk to me about purrin' peoples' lives at risk!

Hey, Martin... No! I've had just about enough of this. Jesus!

I am tryin' to make this place work, for all of us,

and what support do I get? Bugger all!

Well, maybe if we trusted you a bit more. What?

Come on! Everybody.

No, you ask us to get behind you and why should we?

You've no track record that says that's a good idea, have you?

I'm sorry, mate. But it's true.

I mean what actual experience have you got?

You got a degree, you've read loads of books,

you've worked in the offices of a Marine logistics company, but you...

Movin' fish fingers. Cod. It was bulk cod!

You haven't run a yard, have you? An actual yard.

You 'aven't proved yourself.

It in't personal, Martin. We like you. We do!

It in't even your fault, really, footsteps you've been walkin' in.

Look, I'm sorry, but that is the elephant, innit? In the room.

Big Tone. I mean, we ain't wanted to say anything.

You've been in mournin' and fair enough.

But there comes a point when you have to admit these things

and bottom line is, you're not him.

And there's the proof. It's nowt to be ashamed of!

I mean, he was a one-off. Like, I dunno, like?

Pele. Like Pele.

So stop bangin' your head against the wall

and tryin' to do the impossible and let someone else have a go.

Someone more talented, I suppose.

Martin, it's exactly like your dad said once. Many are called.

But few are chosen.

Interrupts the signal from the sender unit to your tacho card.

Almost impossible to detect

and beautifully simple, allowing you to skip your breaks, endangerin'

public health and your own. You hypocrite.

So you can clatter through your round in half the time it should

normally take you, thus allowin' you to get home in double-quick time,

to do a bit of fishing!

I like to hang up me reflective jacket...

Don't insult me!

Don't insult my university crammed head with your bloody excuses.

Ping! Fastest man in the yard.

I couldn't bear to think that you'd actually do it.

Well, you won't from now on,

cos I don't employ drivers who I know run bent.

So go. Piss off!

You're fired!

Christ!

I've got some cough sweets.

What flavour are they?

Lime and menthol.

Yeah.

Martin? What? You need to calm down a bit.

I need to calm down?

You want to have a word with them, out there.

Judgin' people and jumpin' to conclusions.

It's not straightforward, this job. Nothin' is straightforward.

And they need to appreciate that!

Yeah, but they're worried, about the future,

which is why they're lashin' out.

It dun't mean they actually believe any of it.

But it's just the pressure.

Well, I've been under plenty of pressure, you haven't seen me do it.

No?

I'm sorry about that. I really am.

It's water under the bridge. But do you see my point?

When people are squeezed? They'll say anything, they'll do anything.

You need to get out of the office. What?

Cuppa. Walk.

Clear your head.

Come on, what do you fancy?

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

Can't see the wood for the trees.

Exactly.

I'll work from home.

I'll be able to think a bit better from there.

I'll call you if I need anything.

THUD FROM UPSTAIRS

Hello?

Hiya.

What you doing?

Oh, depilation unit. Electric.

Thought it made sense to have a mini suite up there,

you know, with the sunbed and all that. What's it for?

Hair removal. It will never replace the full body wax,

but, if you've not got time

and you got an important engagement coming up...

If I was offered a last minute PA, alongside a star of stage or screen.

As a fitness model? No! As an escort.

An escort!

Not that kind. God! Your mind's like a sewer.

As their plus one.

Rod said loads of girls he's worked with have done that.

National Television Awards, one of 'em, last year.

You're happy with that, are you? Why wouldn't I be? Money's great.

And it's fantastic exposure.

It's not that dirty up there, is it?

Er, yeah. How come, how come you're back, anyway?

Oh, I've got to work some stuff out with the bank.

Actually, I should get back to it. See you later.

Look... Look, Martin. There's summat... What?

..I need to say. Go on.

Well. There ain't no easy way, really.

I wanked him off.

What? Look, I don't want there to be no secrets between us.

That can damage a relationship.

Plus, it weren't like it meant anything anyway, so I did.

Rod. The shoot.

Ripped Abs?

That's... That's Monday.

Yeah, well, we shot it this morning. He couldn't wait.

But... Look, and it wasn't as if he were like,

"You have to do this to get on".

He'd already made phone calls and e-mailed people on my behalf,

so I'd got what I wanted. Plus, he isn't like that.

He's what I said, he's an artist.

It were more...

It just happened. Once we were naked, it just...

You were naked?! I told you. For me obliques.

Your backside. You said your backside!

Oh, grow up Martin!

Your arse, your fanny. There's not a lot between 'em. Literally.

The point being, once I was naked,

it became apparent he was aroused and it just, it just seemed rude.

What did? Well, to leave him like that.

It seemed the polite thing to do. To wank him off!

Hey! I could have shagged him to get him across the line!

You shouldn't have done anything! Just said,

"Thank you very much," turned and walked out.

And never heard from him ever again?!

You struck a deal!

Of course I bloody did. What else do you expect me to do, Martin?!

Jesus! What did we talk about last night?

About you supporting me, eh? You...

It meant nothing, I said. And it goes on.

Of course it goes on. It's the world we live in!

So you just have to accept it! Accept it? Yes!

And remember this, you're a long time dead.

And once you are, there's nothing.

No feeling, no taste.

No sodding' hand shandies, nothing!

That means the time that you do get, you have got to make good,

by any means.

Your understanding of good might be different to mine, but I doubt it.

Nice house, nice car, kids in private school.

How else do you measure it? There is no other way!

And I want that. I want happiness. Real happiness.

And so do you. Only you're too scared to admit it.

And too scared to do what's required to get it.

Well, I'm not.

I wanked him off for the both of us!

MUSIC BUILDS

Jesus!

DOOR SLAMS

'Martin? Is that you?'

What were you doing?

We've never looked, have we? Even after he... He died, we...

The only thing you'll find up there is mice.

Your dad went up when we first moved in.

Said there were droppings and nests and all sorts.

No. no. I didn't see any of them.

I am still looking. That stuff. About the Bentley. I...

Just forget it.

I... I've sent them the money and you've got the car. Thank you.

Can you afford it? I don't want to leave you short. You won't.

Your dad used to fret about that. Whether you were tough enough.

In business. He'd say, "He's too soft.

"He cares too much what people think of him."

What's wrong?

Nothing. Er... Come 'ere. Come on.

I get like that sometimes when I think of him.

You know I do.

The thing is, Mum, he, er...

Ah, fuck it! Martin!

I'm sorry. I've got to get going.

Yes? Are you Joanna? Henderson?

Why? Did, did you know a Tony Banks?

No. Who are you?

I'm sorry.

I found your name in a book he kept

along with a record of some payments.

This is him.

No. That's...

That's Tony Bentley.

Who are you?

What are you doing here? What's happened to him?

Tell me who you are!

I've got bad news.

Oh, God. Erm, I'll get my mum.

What? My mum. She needs to know. But...

I'm his daughter!

Mum! Mum!

SOFT MUSIC

You all right?

Yeah, fine. Thanks.

What's the matter?

Nothing. Really, I ...

Christ! It's not your heart, is it?

Mal said we should get one of those defibrillator things.

All the fried food truckers eat.

Martin?

Tell me what's going on.

Please. You're scaring me.

Sorry. Erm...

Not really leading from the front, is it, this?

It's me dad!

I mean, you, you were right about him, he's bent.

As a two bob bit. Only in everything, not just in business.

He's got another wife.

And a daughter.

They're the ones I know about anyway.

There's a couple more names in here, actually. So...

You never know, do you?

It's a shocker, innit?

Don't tell anyone else, will you, just...?

In case my mum finds out.

I won't.

What a bastard.

I mean. What a bastard!

He's got an office. Another one. In the loft at home.

Yeah, in the loft! That's so him, that is.

That is the REAL him. It's so small and grubby, and...

Anyway, it's all up there.

All his cheating and his deceit, and his other life.

I'm so sorry.

Follow a God, you are always going to disappoint by comparison,

aren't you?

I worshipped him, Michelle!

I adored him.

And when he died, the only thing that I could think of was,

"Could I do it?

"Could I measure up?"

You know what he said to me mum?

That I worry too much about what other people thought of me.

That was the air HE breathed.

His wagon and his car and his house and his son at university,

and that's why he was so fucking corrupt!

Because image was all he cared about.

The outside.

Never mind what he was on the inside!

He didn't give a shit about anyone!

But himself.

And I never saw it.

Not a thing.

What am I going to do now?

I'm the lad that wanted to be Big Tone and now...

Who will I be?

Yourself.

What?

Be Martin?

He's a good bloke. I think.

He's smart and he's hardworking and he's putting everything right here.

There's got to be something in that?

A sort of freedom.

You don't have to follow anyone. Good or bad. Just...

Do what feels right.

Hey! The boy from Banks'. To what do we owe the pleasure?

Whatever deal you had with me dad. I won't do it.

Everything goes through the books.

And it's money transfer or cheque. Cash won't go.

What you talking about? You're dealing with me now.

Which means, you won't get backhanders for MOT certificates

for vehicles which aren't roadworthy.

Nor will I expect invoices for top-of-the-range tyres

when I get remoulds.

Handy for business expenses, I'm sure, but not so great

for my lads out in the wet, eh?

Those are my terms. Or I won't do business with you.

You know what?

I won't do business with you anyway. I'll go somewhere else.

Somewhere else?

There are other garages, Micky.

Yeah, but not as cheap as us!

I think we've found something we can agree on at last.

What you watching?

Wildlife Of The Serengeti. Magnificent.

I let meself in. It's all right.

Steven's...? Not back yet.

So anyway, I want to unsack you.

Eh?

Yeah, I want to reinstate you.

If you'll come? Why?

Why?

Because I'm in charge. What I say goes.

So, we'll call it a final warning, eh?

Yeah. We're having them.

Only I know you won't let me down again.

Now that I've asked you nicely.

Hey!

Sit down. I'm not stopping.

What's wrong?

I've been thinking, about what you said. And?

I want to split up. What?

Yeah, I'm going stop somewhere tonight and I want you to move out.

Why?!

I don't like you.

I'm sorry, but I don't.

I really don't.

You're not kind.

And I hate it.

If we are a long time dead, then,

I want my last thoughts to be for the people that I've loved

and cherished and helped and who've done the same for me

and have made it seems like we were better than just animals.

I'll take that into the blackness.

I don't give a fuck about the trappings.

That's not the measure of a good life. This is.

What's in here.

And you haven't got anything.

Who you texting? Caroline. Tell her the bad news.

Oh! I thought it were a sex line.

You know, cheer yourself up. It's what most people'd do.

What, you do? Nah. I prefer the real thing.

Dad! What you doing here? I'm with her.

I'm rounding everyone up to go and say sorry to Martin.

What for? For not backing him. How he wanted.

He sacked Malachi. No, he didn't!

Well, he did, obviously. But he reinstated him.

That's why he's here. Hurry up with that.

Right. Point being, Martin was man enough to admit

when he'd made the wrong decision.

Which is what you've got to do. I'm not sure we have, have we?

Yes! Because he is the right bloke to be in charge down that yard!

He put his heart and soul into this company and we've got to support him.

How he's supported us!

Given we're sitting here without trucks to drive, I'm not sure...

That wasn't his fault, apparently. So whose was it, then?

I can't say. Well, I shouldn't say.

It's private stuff. Personal. Oh, that's handy.

I'm telling you the truth!

He WEREN'T to blame, but now he's fighting tooth and nail

to put it right.

We needed cash, a lot of it,

to straighten out the problems we've been having and...

He's put his own house up against the business to do it.

Why didn't he say?

I suspect he thought there was no point,

the way you've rubbished everything else he's done.

Look. Maybe Martin lacks Tony's instant charm

and maybe does do things a little bit more by the book,

with the odd thing he's heard from The Apprentice thrown in,

but that don't mean he's not passionate and he don't care,

and he ain't got your best interests 100% at heart.

He has.

He just likes to go about it a bit more...low key.

Burn.

Burn, you bastard!

Go on you wood veneered, 13-litre,

inline, six cylinder sarcophagus!

Die! You useless heap of...

Oh, shit!

It caught fire.

It was me dad's.

Martin!

Martin! We'll see you tomorrow, yeah?

We're all standing by.

You just tell us and we'll come.

Hello, Hannah. Steven.

I thought you'd stopped with all this.

It's my Achilles heel, you know, only I've got an Achilles dick.

Oh, I shag, therefore I am.

They're my children. Dad!

We're meant to be together.

All you're going to do is ruin them boys.

And that's why I don't want my boys seeing you again.

GLASS SMASHES

Band of Brothers.

As long as it still seems like that to you.

I hope she was worth it. He was.

I need the police. I need to talk to the police!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd