Episode 17 Waterloo Road

I have to make time, or I'm not doing my job.

-Tariq, please!

-Get off me!

You suck up to me so you can get your leg over my sister?!

If I was to just to suspend you, I'd expect you to apologise to Finn

-and everyone else that was forced to witness the attack.

-I can do that.

I want you, I want us.

-We shouldn't have kissed.

-I realise that.

Jez has his faults but I love him.

Me and you are going to see a lot more of each other, eh?

SCREECHING TYRES AND A THUD

I can't stop thinking about you.

# Nonstop, you keep on coming

# Nonstop, you keep on coming

# No way to stop you coming

# And anyone anywhere else is better than me

# One stop, you keep on coming

# One stop, you keep...

MOBILE RINGS

Linda, everything all right?

What?

# I'm putting your patience to the test

# I'm putting your body on the line for less

# Didn't you know there was a choice?

ALARM BEEPS

# It's never yours but someone else's voice

# Selling your body to the street... #

Flipping disgrace if you ask me.

I didn't.

Yeah, well we get paid a pittance trying to drag those twerps

-up to standard... Oi!

-Soz...sir!

And it's "sorry", not "soz"! The man is a borderline millionaire.

You'd be the first asking for danger money if you were in his position.

Ah, you would say that, wouldn't you, being management.

-Probably just a pound behind him!

-Oh, yeah, I wish!

Oi, pack it in!

Yeah, I'm here. It looks just like it used to.

Yeah, no, look, I won't let you down.

Come on, folks, less of the dawdling.

Get yourselves to Registration, please.

-Tariq, first day back, last chance. Good for you?

-Yes, sir.

Prefect badge.

If you want this back, you'll have to earn it, understood?

-I will.

-Good.

-Whoa! Take it easy, Phoenix, you'll hurt someone!

-Too right.

Lose the phone, thank you.

I bet you can't remember what we did on our first date.

Of course I can. Went to a gig.

-Why?

-I managed to get us some tickets

for the same venue for this evening. I thought we'd go to that Italian restaurant we went to after.

That's a nice idea but I've got loads to do.

-At least do the meal?

-It's kind of short notice, Jez.

I didn't know I needed an appointment.

All right, I will think about it.

But I'm not promising anything, all right?

Who the 'ell are you?!

Er, sorry. Greg Barrington? The new...

..teaching assistant. Good to meet you. We'll catch up later.

-The staff room is that way.

-Right, yeah, nice to meet you.

-Yeah...

KNOCK ON DOOR

DOOR OPENS

Hope you know you're worth every penny of that salary.

-Clearly not everyone agrees.

-Then they're wrong.

On the plus side, it's a great photo.

Yeah, that's something(!)

My "Vision For The Future" ideas for the Governors' Report.

You OK?

I could have done without that.

-And my house got broken into.

-Have you told the police?

Nah. Could do without all that hassle.

-Michael! It's important.

-I'll cope, it's fine.

Clearly, you can't.

I'll just have to look after you myself, won't I?

Hm.

Is that an offer?

Maybe.

When can I see you? Tonight?

Er...yeah.

Yeah, I mean we do have to go over this report now, don't we?

Obviously, it's very important.

Crucial.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Morning.

I'll leave you guys to it.

I just wanted to say I think that article's an outrage...

Actually, Tom, I'd rather just ignore it if that's OK?

Of course.

Sian's just brought me her idea for the Governors' Report.

"Looking Ahead."

Remember I talked to you about it a few weeks ago?

Ah, yeah, yeah, erm...

Did you forget?

No, of course not, no. I...

Yes.

OK.

So what do you want to do tonight? Something special?

I don't know, what do you fancy?

I don't know, surprise me.

Right, leave it with me. What time's your counselling session?

Ten. But I think I'm going to give it a miss.

I've been a few times now, it's been fine. Can't keep raking over old stuff.

-Yeah, I know, but...

-And I can't, anyway.

I've got to revise for my Chemistry re-sit

and I've got to do this stupid biology questionnaire on genetics

that has to be in for today.

-I did tell you about it.

-Yeah, I know, you can't drop your class, though.

Yeah, well, I can't be at two places at once, can I?

I tell you what, I'll do your questionnaire for you. How hard can it be?

Are you serious?

OK, so mind on genetics?

-Oh, so you're back, then.

-No, I'm a hologram(!)

Just saying. Should be glad someone's pleased to see you.

Hope you're going to behave yourself for a change.

Just watch me. I'm going to keep my head down.

Michael!

I've had a project on the back-burner,

something for the Governors' report. Can I run it past you?

Sure, fire away.

Guest speaker seminars.

We invite people in to give talks to the kids.

Mm, that sounds good. Who were you thinking?

Well, erm...entrepreneurs, business leaders, motivational speakers.

Cost a fortune and are booked for years. Did you not think of the budget?

-So I'll... I'll think it through.

-OK.

Tom, no-one imagines that teaching

and being Deputy Head are easy roles to juggle.

Well, I think I'm doing all right. There's a lot to take on, sure,

and it's a challenge, but I'm loving it.

Miss Radleigh thought you were spreading yourself thin

-when it came to the English Department.

-Oh, did she now?

Why am I not surprised?

Which is why I think her idea to get you a teaching assistant is a good one.

-What?

-Sorry, didn't you know?

Oh, I thought Linda would have told you.

It's just some support so you can focus on your Deputy Head duties.

You'll like him.

Linda, what have you been saying to Michael about me?

Good morning to you, too, Tom. We had a catch-up, that's all.

-Stitch-up more like.

-It's nothing you don't already know!

-Your grades were iffy and we thought you might need a hand.

-Linda, hi...

Oh, hi, Greg! Come in, come in...

Listen up. I want you all to meet my little surprise.

Must be her toy boy.

-Mr Budgen. Nice to see you again.

-This is Greg...

..ory Barrington! Bloody 'ell. What happened to you?

I'm a teaching assistant, Budgie. I mean, Mr Budgen.

A wannabe teacher? But you can't read or write.

-Well, never stopped you, Grantly.

-I guess I was a late developer.

So how do you two know each other?

Greg contacted me about coming back to his old alma mater.

-His whatty what what?

-We met up for a chat over a carafe.

Very enjoyable it was, too.

So who are you assisting?

Me, apparently.

-And I'm looking forward to it.

-I wish I was.

No offence, Greg.

Er, Sian, have you had any more thoughts about tonight?

Um...I'm really sorry, I can't.

Maybe we could do something at the weekend instead?

-Take the bikes somewhere.

-Bikes, yeah, great idea.

-Yeah.

-All right.

How long have you known?

-About?

-About me having a teaching assistant.

I thought Michael would've told you.

Nobody tells me anything. I'm The Invisible Man.

Sian, this Governors' Report stuff,

maybe we should look at it at my place later over a drink?

Yeah. Maybe we could.

Let's focus on chord progressions and rhythmic movement.

-Oh, Rhona's good at that!

-LAUGHTER

-DOOR OPENS

-Sir, you've got a visitor.

-I am sorry to barge in.

Can I have a quick word?

-I've got some news!

-Who's she? His girlfriend?

He doesn't do girlfriends, you dope.

I couldn't wait to tell you. We've got a blue line!

What?

The test was positive!

-Oh, my God, she's up the duff!

-LAUGHTER

Sorry.

-Looks like he does do girlfriends.

-And rhythmic movement.

I thought you was gay?

So what if he is? It doesn't mean he can't be a dad, stupid.

Enough! all right? Or you'll be in class detention. Understand?

Yes, Dad!

I mean Sir. I mean Sir.

You don't seem very pleased.

No, I am. I am. Of course I am.

Just took me by surprise. You shouldn't be announcing this.

Especially not to a class full of kids.

I know, I'm sorry, I'm just so excited!

But generally you wait, what is it, 12 weeks until you start telling everyone.

I know. But you're not everyone. You're the dad.

You know how people like to gossip, especially that lot.

I don't want anything to go wrong.

There's lots to think about now, a lot to plan!

God, this has happened really quickly.

That was the general idea.

You should've told me if you were beginning to have doubts.

I'm just trying to take it all in.

We need to do this slowly, together.

You probably thought it'd never happen, eh?

No, no, it's not like that...

SHE SIGHS

When you've come round to the idea of being a dad, let me know.

Guest speakers? Cool. Wish they'd have done that in my day, Tom.

Are you on top of the syllabus?

Like the back of my hand.

Perhaps you could set them off on the next exercise,

while I take five minutes to figure things out a bit.

If you're sure, yeah. What is it again?

Of Mice And Men.

Discussion topics -

disability, the Great Depression and the American Dream.

Course, course.

Michael's asked me and Sian to put something together for this report.

-You don't know what Sian's doing, do you?

-You're joking, right?

Whatever it is, it's bound to make whatever I do look pointless.

Seriously, don't try and compete with her academically, it'll do your head in.

That's the thing. I'm better at the extracurricular stuff.

So focus on that, school's not all about maths and physics, is it?

Well, I was thinking about doing a football tournament,

you couldn't help me out with it could you?

Yeah. Got nothing better to do.

Oh, thanks, mate, you're a genius. Everything all right?

Well, you'd think working with your partner would be a good idea, wouldn't you?

No. Very complicated. Been there, done that.

You see, we're in the same building,

but it's like she's always pre-occupied with something.

Maybe you need to make more time for each other, eh?

Spice things up a bit.

All right, Dad?

Er, Madi, hang on.

I'll leave you to it. Thanks again.

Erm...

Tickets for a gig for you.

Ooh, nice one! What have I done to deserve these?

They were for me and Sian, but...

I've had another idea.

Nice one. Thanks, Dad!

Right, you're sure you can do this?

Remember, I need 20 questionnaires completing.

-Yes, fine, loud and clear, got you. Now go.

-Right, see you later.

What's her hurry?

Actually, don't worry, I thought this might be right up your street,

you being a genius and all.

-Mentoring scheme?

-Mate, it's got your name all over it.

You know, like local businesses mentors students.

Don't tell me, Wicked Witch Of The West wouldn't approve.

What's that?

Oh, it's Vicki's biology questionnaire, I'm helping her out.

Brilliant. I'm doing one of those on embarrassing body features.

Too many bodies, too many embarrassments.

It'll take you forever.

Want to bet?

Do I smell a challenge?

The battle lines are drawn, Ron-ster.

The first person to get to 20 questionnaires gets their lunch bought for a week.

Let the games begin!

Take one each, pass them round.

Is this some kind of joke, sir?

This is The Catcher In The Rye.

The what?

We're doing Of Mice And Men.

LAUGHTER

Right. Erm...

Do you know what? I never was a fan of that book, to be honest.

Join the club, mate.

More of a "let's rip it up and do it my way" kind of guy.

LAUGHTER AND RIPPING PAPER

You see, English isn't about the syllabus. English is about...

stories. Free expression.

About getting a feel for a story, getting under its skin,

bringing it to life.

So come on, who wants to go first?

Who's got any tales to tell, stories, this place.

Me.

Oh, here we go.

She's always got something to say, better off without her, mate.

Yeah.

Ah, it's this place. It can do it you sometimes.

Even I have to take a breather every now and then.

-You OK?

-Just a bit nauseous.

I'll be all right in a minute, thanks.

-Oh..

-Oh, my God!

You're pregnant, aren't you?

Yeah, but it's really early days, so keep it to yourself. Please.

If you believe in something, we should fight for it,

I mean, this is exactly what we need...

It's like the Nuremberg Rally in there.

CHEERING

I'm telling you, Tom. He's trouble. Always was, always will be.

BELL RINGS

Did you get your idea sorted?

Yeah, I'm doing a football tournament now.

Hey, that's a good idea. Get some other schools involved.

Yeah.

Er... What happened with the Of Mice And Men exercise?

Yeah, sorry. I, erm, didn't get that far.

You clearly connected with them, but next time stick to Plan A.

Yeah, right, will do.

You made it to your first break.

That earns you the dubious privilege of a cheap cup of coffee

in the staff room.

Might pass, actually. Just get some air. Quite a morning.

Sure. No problem.

-Everything all right?

-Er, yeah.

I thought you were going for air.

Yeah, I'm just on my way. I...took a bit of a detour.

Why's that?

It's a bit embarrassing, really.

Just looking to introduce myself to Mr Byrne.

-You know, council estate kid done good and all that.

-Right.

He's a bit of a hero of mine, really.

And there was me just starting to warm to you.

-Jez, what are you doing?

-Oi, oi, clear off..

What are you like? We've got perfectly good bikes, Jez.

Yeah, but not like these.

These are lightweight aluminium, great control, perfect for off-road.

Tell you what, have a go.

-What, now?

-Yeah, go on. What, can't tempt you?

It's hardly the time, is it, Jez?

Everything OK with you two?

Yeah, mate, yes, she's just busy that's all.

Go on.

I'll leave you two to it.

Morning sickness.

Sorry, I shouldn't have come.

Shall we start again?

Congratulations.

How do you feel?

Brilliant.

Frightened.

-Lonely.

-That's my fault. I'm so sorry.

I am here for you.

Yeah, but what about down the line?

What about when I'm full-term?

It's not everyday you get told you're going to be a dad.

I didn't handle it very well, I'm sorry.

Cool.

But what about when the baby's born?

It'll be fine. It'll be great!

I've got time to get used to it, haven't I?

You know, it might help if we move in together. I mean...

down the line.

Um... Yeah. Yeah, OK.

Cos that final trimester, I will definitely need you.

Then I was thinking for the first six months...

then we can all bond, you can help out with the sleepless nights,

and share the bath times.

-Oh, sorry.

-Are you OK?

-Mm.

I'll, erm... I'll get you a drink, OK?

Michael!

PHONE RINGS

Oh, dammit!

King of...Tinchy Stryder or Fazer?

Fazer, obviously!

All right. What about Fazer or chocolate-covered marshmallows?

Ooh, that's a toughie...

Or... Or, right, so...

Go somewhere else if you want to giggle and chat. It's a library.

Since when did you care?

Although...there is a bad smell in here. Come on, Scout.

What are they?

-What's it to you?

-Nowt, I suppose.

I don't care, anyway.

Good, cos I'm not going to be here much longer.

I'm joining the army.

What?! What about school?

Why are you doing this?

Because I've lost everyone I can trust.

Come on, Scout.

Janeece!

Who's done this?

I've no idea. I've been handling medical emergencies.

-If I get my hands on 'em, I'll wring their scrawny necks.

-Just get it cleaned up.

Nice and sweet for you, Linda,

and dark and strong for you, Mr Budgen.

-I hope one of those is for me?

-No. Rosie.

Oh, where is she?

She's in my room, feeling faint.

-She's pregnant.

-Congratulations.

-Wants us to move in together.

-And?

-That's not what I signed up for.

-What did you sign up for?

That's just it, I don't know.

There's no manual for this kind of thing, is there?

I've no idea how to be a dad.

I thought you were feeling better about this.

What you need to do is lay down some ground rules, boundaries.

Can I have your attention, please, everyone?

My laptop's been trashed.

Anyone know anything about that?

Disgraceful. Why would anyone do that?

Well, take your pick.

That newspaper article this morning can't have helped.

Surely not. Michael here is an inspiration(!)

Everyone knows how hard he works for his money(!)

I don't think it can be anything to do with the article.

My house was broken into.

Well, it's not going to be any of us, is it?

Mr Byrne, I think you should know I did go to your office earlier.

He was hoping to introduce himself.

-Yeah, but, we'd already met.

-Yeah, but we said we'd catch up, so...

Right.

Everything looked fine.

Well, if anybody sees or hears anything,

-would you let me know, please?

-BELL RINGS

Linda, have you got a copy of Greg's CV?

I said I'd give him a hand on updating it?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Two ticks.

You know that I am here for you.

Why do I sense a "but" coming?

No, no, no, no...

Although...I do think that we need to establish

what we expect from each other.

Sort out some rules or something.

We're having a baby, Matt, not a game of chess.

I know, but it's massive and we have a responsibility to get this right.

Emotionally.

Legally, maybe.

Like some sort of contract?

But we're friends. Why would we need a contract?

Matt, I'm having your baby, not marrying you!

Exactly.

It's just so we both know where we stand, yeah?

It's in his or her best interests.

And ours.

'I'm sorry, the number you have dialled has not been recognised.'

HE SIGHS

Girls, move!

Scout? Everything all right?

-Yeah, brilliant.

-Oh, no, hold on, please.

What is it?

It's Phoenix! He reckons he just wants to join the army!

Well, if that's what he wants,

it could be a good career choice for him.

Yeah? He wants to leave school and sign up now.

I mean, that just can't be right, can it?

What if you talk to him? He might listen to you.

Yeah, it's gone great. I won't know what I've got until later, though.

Yeah, I know, course, I'll try and get more. Right.

-Were you just listening to what I was saying?

-Nah!

Good. Run along.

Greg, can I have a word, please?

Er...a little bit awkward, Greg, but I tried calling your referees.

They've given me a bad reference? What was it? Timekeeping?

No, no, it wasn't that.

One of the numbers was dead and the other one was no answer.

Yeah, look, I've, erm, I've not updated my CV for a while.

It's just we need to be professional about these things.

-I mean, I'm sure you understand.

-Yeah, of course. I'll speak to them.

Well, why don't you let me speak to them?

Hello, yeah, hiya.

My name's Tom Clarkson, I'm calling from Waterloo Road school.

I need a reference for a Mr Gregory Barrington, if possible.

Right, if you could email it over.

Er, no, no, no, that's fine. Thank you very much. Bye.

Sorry, I, er...

-I didn't mean to doubt you.

-It's procedure. No hard feelings.

-Thank you, Scout, I'll have a word with him, OK?

-Thanks, sir.

-All good?

-Yeah, everything's fine. Here's another idea

-for the Governors' Report - a football tournament.

-Football?

Well, leave it with me, but don't hold your breath.

-That was a bit dismissive.

-Tell me about it.

'Mentoring scheme?'

His name's Ronan Burley, he does loads of stuff.

His most recent is a fruit-and-veg stall.

He even supplies the school. Oh, course he's interested, yeah.

He'd call himself, erm...

..but he's just a bit shy.

-Ah, Phoenix, can I have a word?

-What about?

Joining the Armed Forces.

You're too old. What's there to talk about anyway?

What does your dad say about it?

Nothing he can say. I've made up my mind, end of.

Well, maybe I can help.

Know a lot about combat, do you?

Actually, being head of this place I think qualifies me quite well.

I'm talking about recruitment tests. Now, you're good at Mathematics, but have fallen behind on literacy.

Maybe some one-on-one sessions with me would help, no?

Drop by my office, let's see what we can put together.

It all feels so official, but if it is for both our benefit...

Yeah, there'd just be mutually-agreed guidelines.

OK. So I get to choose certain conditions, then, yeah?

Oh, here we go, wondered how long it'd take you?

Come on, then, bring it on.

You've got to massage my feet, you've got to tell me I'm beautiful

even when I'm the size of a bus and...

-you've got to be there at the birth.

-Of course.

Not the business end, though, yeah? SHE LAUGHS

You've got yourself a deal...Dad.

Come here.

Here looks good. Stop the kids from earwigging

-while we talk shop.

-Oh, nothing gets past this lot, believe me.

Do you know what I can't work out? People say you're having a tough time, right, which is why I'm here.

-Thanks for the reminder.

-But there's two deputies. There's you and...

Mrs Diamond. To whom I spend half my time being unfairly compared.

Can't be easy.

Maybe I was wrong about Mr Byrne.

-What do you really think about him?

-How long have you got?

-As long as you need.

-Well... He's arrogant and obsessive.

He never consults us and he's got to be right the whole time.

So he's a bully, then, right?

More he's trying to do too much too soon.

His targets and visions are way over the top. He's setting the school up to fail.

-How's the school performing?

-Improving, apparently, but you want to see the list in my office.

-Grades like you wouldn't believe. Poor doesn't even come into it.

-His salary?

A complete and total outrage.

-So how was counselling?

-It was fine.

I'm going to call it a day.

-I'm feeling good about things, I told you.

-Are you sure?

-So you've done 14 of these?

-Yeah, not bad, eh?

-You do know that, "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know," they're not answers?

-Yeah, well,

most of the people didn't know what I was going on about.

You said I could trust you not to mess this up!

This is my biology A-level. What am I going to do now?!

We'll sort something, Madi got most of hers in.

What?

Madi. We had a bit of a race on. First to 20.

-What's this?

-It's some stupid mentoring scheme Madi said would be good for me.

-Oh, did she? Why don't I leave you and Little Miss Helpful to it?

-Oh, come on, don't be like that!

I wasn't going to...

Yeah, I know. It's fine.

'..a total outrage.'

KNOCK ON DOOR, HANDLE SQUEAKS

Yo, what you doing in there?

What you up to?

Look, about the bikes... I, um... I should've waited till we got home.

-I really haven't got time right now, I'm sorry.

-I brought you some lunch.

I'm sorry...for storming off like that. The bikes are really sweet.

Then what is it?

Tell me.

Er...

I'm just... I'm not sure you realise what I've got on,

you know, departmentally, managerially.

-Linda got Tom a TA and he's been teaching here for years.

-I get it.

No, really, I do. I mean...

gigs, dinners, the bikes.

They're just not what you need right now, are they?

-Thank you for understanding.

-I'm just trying to make things fun.

I know.

I just want to know that we're OK.

-Aw, you haven't finished already?

-No, I've been fired.

In that case, I've won the bet! You're buying lunch next week!

Yeah, whatever. You know what, she said I let her down, and I did!

-No surprises there.

-Don't do that, Ro.

-Do what?

Put yourself down like that.

You're not talking to Vicki now, you know.

Just don't be a mug and don't let her patronise you.

Sorry. It's just... I don't know what's going on with me and her.

-I mean, it's not great, but...

-But what?

You act like you're the big "I Am", Mr Wheeler Dealer...

-Not you an' all.

-I just think you should stick up for yourself,

otherwise you'll spend the rest of your life under...

under Vicki's thumb.

Yeah, thanks.

Look, you've... You know, you've been a real...

..mate.

You know your teaching assistant? I reckon he's dodgy.

-He's up to something.

-Tariq, you've only just come back. Don't start causing trouble, eh?

-I'm not! I caught him talking on the phone.

-It's hardly a crime!

-And he's been sniffing about...

-I said stop causing trouble. OK?

-I'm not!

After term time, why don't we go on holiday?

-We could go white-water rafting in the Cairngorms?

-Not now.

Or we could do one of those pilgrimage walks. You know, the Santiago de Compo, er...

-There's so many things we could do.

-And maybe we will, all right?

Let's just wait for things to settle down a little bit first, yeah?

-What if...?

-What now?

What if...you had to pick one more adrenaline-fuelled adventure before you died, what would it be?

-That's ridiculous.

-If you don't play the game, I'm not going anywhere.

-Swimming with sharks.

-No, on your own with that one.

-That shut you up. I thought you'd like the rush of something like that.

-No.

-Oh, no. I don't like to be out of my depth in the sea.

-Are you serious?

Yeah. It's the thought of being out there with my feet

dangling and you don't know what's beneath, it totally freaks me out!

I never knew that about you.

Well, there you go - hidden depths.

-Yeah, maybe you have.

-HE LAUGHS

Listen, um, I will make sure I'm not working late tonight.

Excellent.

Greg, are you up for covering my poetry class later?

-Um, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure.

-You got any favourites on the syllabus?

-Oh, you know, the usual. Wordsworth, Shakespeare...

-I think Plath's mine.

Love his stuff.

Me too.

-Nearly done. Oh, and I've had IT take a look at your laptop.

-You did what?

Sorry, it can't be saved. Someone's clearly got it in for you.

Trashing your computer and then breaking into your home.

Well, I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

Spencer Wing. Martinez Ward, please.

Hello there, I wonder if you could tell me how Wayne Johnson is doing?

I'm his uncle.

I see.

But he could come out of the coma at any time, is that right?

Thank you. Bye.

BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

Right. OK, people. Poetry.

Poetry is all about emotions and getting people to talk openly.

So has anyone got any emotions that they want to express?

You lying, me defying I defend while you pretend...

-What a loser.

-Lovely that, Tariq, thank you very much. Anyone else?

You try to preach But you can't teach

You think we're on side You must be out of your mind.

That's great, thank you. Anyone?

How low have you sunk? Hand on your heart, truth on your lips

Tell me no lies and I'll give you no gyp!

Listen, bro', you're boring Hush your mouth cos I'm yawning.

-LAUGHTER

-Always going on with yourself!

Whoa! Come on, we don't want any trouble! Sit down, please!

-What you going to do about it?

-LAUGHTER

-Hey, that's me passed with flying colours.

-Sorry, what?

Health check. Fine specimen of a man, that's what the nurse reckoned.

-Did she now?

-Something wrong?

Yeah, very wrong.

Our little teaching assistant is the only English teacher I know

that doesn't know Sylvia Plath's a woman and his CRB check's well out of date.

-You just sit down.

-Make me, Mr Teacher Man!

-Give it up, Tariq.

-You've no clue!

-I'm warning you.

-Is that the best you can do, you muppet?!

-Who d'you think you're talking to?!

-What's going on?

-He's no teacher!

-He's a liar! I seen him in your office!

-Shut your filthy mouth!

Have you completely lost your mind? Get outside! Now!

CHILDREN CHATTER

-What are you doing?!

-He was winding me up. You saw him.

-You just hit a pupil! I'm calling the police.

-What? You wouldn't dare.

-You wouldn't like what they say about Waterloo Road procedures.

-Meaning what, exactly?

You lot didn't do the proper checks on me.

Right, you'd better tell me what the hell's going on

-or I'm calling 999 right now. Your choice.

-OK.

Look... I'm not a teaching assistant.

I'm an undercover journalist, I work for the Lancashire Informer,

-I'm here to do an expose on Michael Byrne.

-You what?

I'm a reporter.

-So who was that I spoke to on the phone, then?

-My editor.

-I should flatten you.

-Yeah, some help that'd be.

Anyway, I've got you on tape slagging off your Superhead, in the canteen.

-Sir.

-Tariq, are you all right?

-This is all your fault. I tried warning you about him.

-You believe me now?

-I should've listened, I'll call the police.

Talking to the police will do me no good. I'm out on licence - that's the last thing I need.

-You've been hit by a teacher, sort of teacher. It's the school's responsibility.

-I'm fine.

I'm sorry.

What is that, eh? That's what you've been doing, is it?

Going round planting cameras? Have you put one in my office as well?!

-It's no big deal.

-Well, you won't mind me keeping hold of it, will you?

Yeah? Then I'll only have the tape of you.

Well, that's not going to make such a great story, is it?!

Look, I'm not different from you!

I'm just trying to get on.

Oh, please, I promised my editor a story by five o'clock.

-Your "big break", is it?

-Last chance, more like.

Think about it!

I'm no genius, am I?

I didn't get the privilege of a good education. I came here.

I've had to pull out all the stops to get this far.

Look, I can't go back empty-handed.

So what do you want me to do? Just let it all go?

It was you guys that let me in here.

Oh, no. It wasn't me. BELL RINGS

-< Homework in by Monday.

-Come with me.

No excuses!

Linda...

A word...about Greg.

Oh, not more complaining, surely. We're very lucky to have...

What, to have him come here and do an uncover story for a local newspaper about Michael Byrne?

He's faked his CV, he's never done a day's teaching in his life.

Oh, don't be ridiculous!

-You are joking?

-Do I look like I'm having a laugh?

You must be mistaken. I checked his references myself.

Obviously not properly. He's planted a hidden camera in Michael's office.

-What? When, when did you...?

-What does it matter when?! The point is he's a reporter.

-I'll deal with the camera.

-No, the camera will stay with me. Michael needs to know about this.

He can decide how to proceed from here, you stay with him.

Some piece of work you are! You've dropped me right in it!

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Hey...

Michael, um, about tonight.

Yeah, all good for you to come over later.

-The thing is there's this conference down in Bournemouth that we should both go to...

-I can't.

-Well, I know Bournemouth's not the most exotic place...

-No. I can't do any of this.

Why not? What's happened?

We have to stop, Michael, now. You know I'm married.

I have a family...

-Well, a step family.

-It doesn't matter.

I care about Jez and he's my husband.

I can't just go running around behind his back.

Sian, I'm not playing games here.

This is about you and I.

I've let you go once, I won't do it again.

-What are we saying?

-I'm saying

I screwed everything up before. I was messed up by the stabbing.

I thought I was being strong, pushing you away.

I was wrong, I shouldn't have done it. I made a mistake.

-Things have changed.

-Have they?

-Yes.

I'm sorry, but...I can't.

It's over.

Thanks for grassing me up to the Head about joining the army.

-I only did it, because I'm worried about you.

-Yeah, well, don't.

Anyway, why are you bothered about Mr Byrne knowing?

I thought that he inspired you?

Yeah, opinions can change.

Phoenix, is it true? Why are you leaving?

-To get away from here.

-From Mr Byrne, you mean?

Just leave us alone, Harl!

Is there a fire?

Kind of. Your former pupil is an undercover journalist doing a hatchet job on Michael.

I always knew he had promise.

Handed the questionnaires in, thanks for asking!

-I said I'm sorry.

-MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Yeah, it is, yeah. Really? Yeah, I'd love to, yeah.

Yeah, nice one, yeah. No, I'll look forward to it. Thanks very much.

Bye.

Thanks, Vix, I can't believe you've done that for me.

That was them.

-Who?

-The mentoring scheme. They've said they want me to go to an Open Day.

-What, you didn't ring them?

-No.

Who did, then?

-Madi? You know, she has got a flippin' cheek!

-She's just trying to be a mate!

-You believe that?

-I do. And this has nothing to do with her!

This is to do with me doing what I want for a change and she gets that!

It's like you want me to be someone else, someone I'm not!

I'm me, all right? And if you don't like that, then...

If I don't like that, then what?!

Then we're over.

I've had enough.

You've got a lot of explaining to do.

-Look, I'm sorry, I...

-Where did you plant this?

Behind your desk.

This is a school! It's not somewhere for you to turn into cheap copy!

Pack up and get out! And you, why didn't you check up on him properly?

-I did, but I must've missed the date on his CRB.

-Have you had a look at what's on this?

-No, I thought it was best left to you.

-This should not have happened!

It was done with the best of intentions, Michael.

Just get him out of here.

It's not that bad cos it's there, but if it was there, it'd be...

-I knew you was a fake!

-You pleased with yourself?

-Actually, yeah. You should be ashamed.

Ashamed? Ashamed of what? This place is a dump, always was!

Taught you everything you know? It's no palace, but it's all right.

Well, at least somebody learned something from our Mr Barrington, eh?

Are you waiting for me?

Yeah, I didn't want to leave it like that.

No, me neither. Yeah, we can work through this, though, can't we?

I'm sorry, Vix, I don't think I can.

But we've been through so much. We're good together.

We were.

But too much has happened. Aiden, the baby, you hitting out at me...

I know. I know I've been really difficult to live with recently,

but I'm going to try so hard to make this work.

-I won't hit you ever again, I promise.

-Really?

Cos I'm not so sure. I don't want to be scared of you.

Please don't say that.

What are we even doing?

I flinched earlier.

That can't be right.

I can't even remember the last time we had fun together.

I just... We've got nothing in common any more.

You don't need me, Vicki.

You're brilliant, you're smart, sensible.

What am I going to do without you?

You'll be fine.

Just be successful, yeah?

I'll never forget you, Ronan Burley.

HE SIGHS

KNOCK ON DOOR

DOOR OPENS

Anything interesting?

No. Nothing interesting ever happens in here, really.

-Well, at least we know who broke into your office?

-Yeah.

And that didn't fall into enemy hands.

You dealt with the situation well, Tom.

I'm not sure I did, actually.

And I rather like your proposal for the football tournament.

It's clear...thorough... well thought out

and something like that could put Waterloo Road on the map locally.

It's good. When did you have the time to put that together?

Well, I'm afraid mainly whilst Greg Barrington was in charge of my class.

And he punched Tariq.

-He what?

-He's fine.

-HE SIGHS

-Have a seat.

Do you think we need to get the police involved?

No, Tariq doesn't want us to. He thinks he'll get the blame.

He just wants the whole thing dropped. I know!

If I'd been there, none of this would have happened.

That's not the half of it.

Yours wasn't the only tape that Mr Barrington made. He, um...

he also recorded me being indiscreet.

Well, I can't blame you for that.

Well, you might when you know what it is that he taped me saying.

It was about you. And I know nothing may come of it, but, um...

-I thought you should know, just in case.

-Go on.

-I said certain things.

-Such as?

Er...

I said that you didn't consult us.

And, um, that perhaps your vision for the school was a little optimistic...

..and I used words like... arrogant and obsessed

and overpaid.

Is that all?

Is that not enough?

I'm all for healthy debate, Tom. I'm all for differences of opinion,

but what I value most here is your honesty.

-It was very unprofessional.

-We all make mistakes.

What's important is...

putting your hand up and being accountable for them.

I rate you, Tom. I mean, why else would I have made you Deputy Head?

It's YOU that has to start believing in yourself a bit more, because I already do.

-So you got your questionnaires in, then?

-Yeah, thanks.

And you were right. School's full of cranks.

You OK?

Not really. I've just finished it with Vix.

It's over.

I'm sorry.

So am I. It's for the best.

Well...

-Maybe you fancy a gig?

-Nah, I'm not in the mood.

Oh, go on, it might help.

Better than being stuck at home staring at the walls all night.

Just mates.

Yeah, go on, then. I'll see you at half six.

There are some things we need to talk about.

-Come to my place tonight?

-OK. Why not?

-Did you, um, watch the footage?

-I did.

-We'll talk about that later.

-OK.

-Hey, what's going on?

-Well, I'm doing dinner, the kids are making themselves scarce

and we are going to book ourselves the holiday of a lifetime.

-Did you need to get quite so many brochures?

-Yeah.

-I kind of grabbed a bit of everything.

-So I see.

So there's a bit of Europe, a bit of the Caribbean, a couple of left-fielders.

-Montenegro's supposed to be nice.

-Wow.

-I know, that's what I thought.

Then there's a few specialist family holidays like Kenya, Chile, the South Pole.

And I have...

HE POURS A DRINK

-..wine from Australia.

-Do we need to decide tonight or...?

-Well, places might get booked up.

-Not all of them, surely?

Let me get on with the cooking, then we'll have a nice bit of dinner,

snuggle up on the settee and figure the whole thing out, all right?

Right, I've got a gig to go to.

Madi, um, I'll give you a lift. Saves you messing about with buses.

Thank you, don't mind if I do.

-Heck of a day, eh...

-Yeah.

Linda, I need to ask you something.

What were you doing in my office today?

I...just went in to leave some papers

-and I...knocked over the coffee and panicked.

-Right.

-So...you didn't look at my emails?

-No, I...

Not really.

Just, well...curiosity might've got the better of me.

Linda, that's private. There's confidential information

in some of those messages and they were sent to me!

I didn't read anything!

Maybe a couple of school-related boring ones.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean to pry, really, I didn't.

I don't know what came over me.

The last thing I want to do is undermine you.

Right.

Well, we can just forget the whole thing, all right?

I've put in a claim for the laptop, so we'll let this be the end of it.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

I so don't want us to fall out over this.

You know how important you are to me.

-Look, Linda, I thought that we'd been through all...

-I know, I know. It's just...

Sometimes, I think...

I'm sorry if I gave the wrong impression inviting you here, but...

No, no, no, you didn't. It's fine. Look, I'd better go.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

MOBILE PHONE BEEPS

SHE TUTS

SHE SOBS

DOORBELL BUZZES

Sian!

I can't go on with Jez.

It's you I want to be with, Michael. It always was.

You'd better come inside.

I can't stay for long.

KEY SQUEAKS

The other night, I was there, I saw you both.

-Is it not enough that he's got a SPECIAL relationship with your wife?

-Don't take any notice of her, mate.

-Let me help you.

-Oh, thanks.

-I'm Freddie.

-Rhona.

Don't start something you can't finish.

I appreciate your enthusiasm for your head, but the cheque hasn't been signed yet.

I just want to say that you look really fit tonight.

Finn, will you just get off?

You think I wanted this to happen? Wayne Johnson is an animal...

Michael, stop it! Stop it!

DOOR OPENS

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