Episode 19 Waterloo Road

I think someone's stalking me.

-I just want to let you know that you look really fit.

-Just get off!

Why don't we just skip the preamble

and go and have a night of wild passionate sex!

-I'm me, and if you don't like that, then...

-If I don't like that, then what?

Then we're over.

-Michael? Wake up, we've overslept.

-Ey, ey...

That's the reason I checked in here.

I haven't slept for more than four hours in weeks.

Plus I get to wake up next to you.

It must be my lucky day.

We're going to be late.

MOBILE RINGS

Jeremy?

Yeah.

Telling him you need some time is the kindest thing you can do.

Yeah, but turning his life upside down...

and Zack and Madi's isn't, is it?

I don't know how I'm going to get through another day playing

happy families, knowing I've got to talk to him at the end of it.

Morning. Tom Clarkson, Deputy Head.

Goo-oo-od morning, Rochdale!

It's Ronan Burley here, broadcasting live from Waterloo Road!

Oi, you've been drafted in as a technical trainee,

-not the star of the show.

-No, because that would be me.

-Ms O'Donnell, can we get you anything?

M&M's with the yellow ones taken out? Tropical fruit basket?

-Room temperature Hawaiian spring water?

-A cup of tea would be great. And it's Viv.

Cup of tea coming up...Viv.

Ronan Burley.

So, Mr Byrne'll be joining us shortly.

He thinks this is a great opportunity to present the school to the outside world.

Have the kids enjoyed being roving reporters?

They loved it, and are excited that you're here.

I'm grateful to be invited.

It'll also be nice to see what my daughter gets up to - she doesn't tell me much.

Well, she's very...self-contained. We're keeping an eye on her -

-the bullying has calmed down a bit.

-Good. She takes after her mother.

The other one! The one she actually talks to.

Is she pleased that you're here?

No. I'm under strict instructions to act like we've never met.

You'd think having a media mum would be a 'cool' thing, but not for Andi.

Well, I guess all kids are embarrassed by their parents, eh?

Look, I'll leave you to it. I shall be back with your adoring public.

-Hey.

-Hi.

-Your standards are slipping, Mrs Diamond.

-You're late.

-Yeah...traffic was terrible.

So how was Jenny? You put the world to rights, or what?

Yeah, er, you know, wine and sympathy.

Shoulder to cry on, that kind of thing.

-I did try to call you.

-Yeah, there's something funny with my phone.

-Are we still on for dinner tonight?

-Yeah, really looking forward to it.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Hi, Tom. I'd...better get on.

So I take it the trouble in paradise was short-lived?

Yeah.

-Paranoia.

-Hate to say I told you so.

Rhona Mansfield.

Here.

Shona Mansfield.

-Here.

-Andi O'Donnell.

-Andi O'Donnell.

-Wake up, Manga Girl.

What?

The register?

Oh. Here.

-Mark Philippou.

-Sky Beetle?!

Book One. It's a 1985 original.

Phoenix Taylor.

Phoenix Taylor, do I have to confiscate

whatever gripping piece of literature

is distracting you?

Here.

Jodie. How good of you to join us.

I'm sorry, Sir, I had to meet my new foster parents.

I'll get it!

-All right, keep your knickers on, I were only trying to help.

-LAUGHTER

A full complement for a change. I wonder why.

-'Is it switched on? Can they hear me?'

-HE MOUTHS

Hello! And now for something completely different.

This is Mr Clarkson, your Deputy Head,

here to introduce our very special guest...

Me! Viv O'Donnell.

Ever dreamed of hosting your own radio show,

'of having YOUR voice and opinions heard by the public?

'Of juggling guests, callers and hot topics? Well, now's your chance

-'to see how it's done first-hand...'

-Ey...

'..and get your own five minutes of fame,

'cos a chosen few will present your school news reports on air

'to the whole community on Rochdale FM.

'That's right, folks. Today, at two o'clock,

'"Talk to Viv" is going out live from Waterloo Road!

'Our show today is a teen special,

'so we'll be talking on air about your issues.'

Don't be shy. I can't wait to meet you all and interview Mr Byrne,

'your super head, who survived a violent stabbing...'

-I love Viv O'Donnell!

-I don't even know who she is.

My mum listens to her all the time. She even phoned in once.

Viv's what they call uncensored.

-She tells the funniest stories about her ex-wife!

-She's gay?!

Yeah, and she's got this really square daughter that's never even had a boyfriend!

LAUGHTER, BELL RINGS

You heard it here first. Right, put your reports on my desk

and get your questions ready for Mr Byrne's interview.

So, when are we finally going to meet this new boyfriend of yours?

On the record?

My report is on relationships and it's called "Love is a Battlefield".

-Catchy.

-So, have you made him up then, or what?

No!

Go on, then, what's his name?

It's Haris, and, well, he's a respectable young guy

from a good Muslim family.

-Lauren, turn that off!

-I still don't get it.

My dad likes him so much that he wants us to get married.

Now do you get it?

Pitches from my Year 11's. Minus one from Andi O'Donnell

who chose to opt out.

Her mum's our chat show host.

Andi seems to think that's social suicide.

-Morning, everyone.

-All this "Confessional Entertainment" -

TV, radio presenters, picking over the carcasses

of human pain and suffering,

chasing ratings, ugh - it's nothing short of gross and mawkish.

Grantly, you are a true wordsmith.

Dirty laundry should be washed and dried, but not aired.

This is a real coup, Tom. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Thank you.

Got your questions for Mr Byrne's interview, everyone?

-Tom?

-Yeah. I've put them in there already.

Ey, so, how was your romantic date with Linda?

All right?

Delightful, since you ask.

Turns out Daniel is quite the king of karaoke.

Is he now?

Really?

I was just wondering, Linda,

if you'd like to go out and eat tonight, if you're free? I could cook.

Ah, sounds great. See you later.

I didn't know you could cook.

-How hard can it be, eh?

-HE CHUCKLES

Same dress two days in a row?

-That's not like you.

-Hi. Yeah.

I was hoping no-one would notice!

Did you girls pull an all-nighter?

-I hate going a sleep-over without my stuff.

-Yeah, me too.

-I would've gone home and changed, but there was just no time, so...

-Ah, well, you look amazing.

-You always do.

-Thank you, Madi.

-Vicki, hi. Are you ready?

-I've gone through my revision notes,

-but I'm worried I'll blank in there.

-You wouldn't be human if you didn't get nervous.

I promise you, as soon as you get in there, it will all come flooding back. OK?

Thanks, Mrs Diamond. You're the best.

Two, one, two.

Come on, quickly and quietly, please, find yourselves a seat.

I have to tell you, guys, I've had a little sneak preview

of some of your reports,

and there are some really great stories out there.

-Which one was your favourite?

-Me and Rhona did a great one on twins.

Time will tell.

-So, are you in love with him?

-I don't even know him properly.

-But you're going to marry to him?!

-Hardly.

Girls, do you mind?

'No, this is interesting.'

It's kind of personal.

Personal's my middle name. Go on.

My dad's found someone he wants me to marry.

'And he's really nice and everything.

'But I just don't love him.

'I don't want to do it.

'When I get married, I want it to be for love.'

-Is that your sister?

-Nah.

-Yeah, it is. It's Trudi.

-She's just mouthing off.

Look, I'm sure they don't realise they're live.

You do know it's not the Dark Ages, don't you?

-You ain't got a clue what you're talking about, so just shut it!

-Sit down, please!

I'll be back in a minute.

..Teenage sexuality is a ratings winner, so well done.

Your daughter's still a virgin, isn't she?

That's what you said on your show.

Not that there's anything wrong with being a virgin. For the record.

Absolutely, and I did say that on air at the time. 16 is still very young.

Everybody needs to move through life at their own pace.

-The tannoy's on, the whole school's listening.

-What?

Don't want to let out any state secrets!

Does it ever get embarrassing,

-stripping yourself bare in front of hundreds of people?

-Thousands. Erm, yes and no.

But if I don't open up, how can I expect my guests to?

Right, moving on, I'm going to show you a short film about how to break into radio,

if I can conquer my techno-phobia.

-Why do you have a picture of Manga Girl?

-She's your mum?!

-Andi, I'm so sorry.

-Oh, so YOU'RE the famously frigid daughter!

THEY ALL LAUGH

It's a bit late for YOUR concern.

The one thing I asked you to do...

It was an accident! Please come back!

You lot, you don't move.

Wait, Andi! Andi, I'm sorry,

-I didn't think about the screensaver!

-You never think...

about anything other than your stupid radio show!

Look, maybe we should go to my office? You two can talk in private.

Private? She don't know the meaning of the word.

Just do us a favour, stay out of my life.

Come on, please.

-What do you think you're doing?

-Going to class.

-Telling the school your business.

-I didn't know the tannoy was on.

Telling the whole school that you won't marry Haris.

You're right -

-he should have been the first to know.

-You think that's cute?

Tariq, it's got nothing to do with you.

It's my decision.

Do you really want me to be unhappy for the rest of my life?

This is going to upset Dad.

I don't want this family falling apart.

Just think about it.

The radio phone-in is due to start after lunch break...

HE SUCKS HIS TEETH

..so hurry up with your questions.

What sort of question?

What do you want to know about Mr Byrne?

Why he loves teaching?

-Are these anonymous, Miss?

-It's totally up to you.

I'm doing one, too.

Right, hurry up!

I want everyone to form a circle.

-How come you never told us your mum were on the radio?

-Why do you think?

Who wants the world to know they're sweet 16 and never even been kissed?

THEY LAUGH

So, have you never actually kissed a boy, then? Properly, like.

Yeah, I have, actually.

Your dad! Properly.

-What?!

-Oi, what are you doing?!

That is enough! Now, I don't care who started it,

but I want a little bit more ladylike behaviour in here, OK?

Charming(!)

Right, over there.

Nice one, Manga Girl.

LAUGHTER

Don't know why you we're bothering with her anyway. So her mum's famous?

Don't change the fact that Andi O'Donnell's a freak.

Erm... I thought it was dinner for two?

How many people have you got coming on this date?

I panicked - I don't know what she likes to eat.

Right, so you're going to cook the whole thing from scratch?

Yeah, it's a date, not a student dinner.

Take it from a man who knows a bit about the art of fine dining, mm? Just keep it simple.

Sorry. For what I said about your dad.

It's all right.

-What are you looking at?

-Nothing.

Are you gay?

-Stop it!

-What?

Like mother, like daughter!

Maybe that's why she's not interested in boys.

Better watch out, she might fancy you.

Shut up.

What are you doing?

-Aw, Em, will you just give her a break?

-Oh, come on, Saint Scout.

It's just a bit of fun. Since when did you get so serious?

Jamie Oliver, eat your heart out!

45...

-Hey, what time's your re-sit?

-One o'clock.

-Need a study-partner for a last-minute pop quiz?

-No, thanks.

-Mrs Diamond's got that one sorted.

-Well, break a leg.

BELL RINGS Yeah. Thanks.

LAUGHTER AND MUFFLED COMMENTS

Get out of my way, shift it.

Move it, yeah?

Hey, what's the matter?

Come here, come on.

It's OK. There you go.

-Go on, jog on!

-Oi!

-What's going on?

-I think someone's having a joke, Sir.

-Get her something from lost property, please.

-Of course.

-Has someone stolen your things?

-No, it was just a stupid prank.

-Do you know who it was?

-No!

Please don't drag my mum into this. It's humiliating enough, her just being here. I've got to go.

Hey.

You'll be wanting a coffee, and I've just emptied the kettle.

Yeah.

Have mine.

-Thank you.

-Milk and...half a sugar?

Yes.

-Sian, can I have a word, please?

-I'll leave you to it.

Yeah, what's up?

-We've got another bullying...

-Tom, that radio thing?

-Great initiative.

-Thanks.

We've got another bullying situation with Andi O'Donnell.

I hoped we'd seen the last of that.

-She had her clothes nicked in PE.

-Maybe someone's jealous, cos of who her mum is?

Her mum did say on air once she was a virgin, now the kids seem to think she's fair game.

-What?! She's only 16. And hardly the only one!

-I know.

-But she's stonewalling me. Could you have a word, please?

-Yeah, but she's not exactly forthcoming.

-I'll let you know.

-Thank you.

You've got him wrapped around your little finger, ain't you? Does he do the same for Tom?

-I'm sorry?

-Michael - the coffee.

It was an act of human kindness. One colleague to another.

-What are you implying?

-I'm not implying anything.

Good.

'Bullying will not be tolerated in this school.'

-It's a very serious offence.

-It was obviously one of the girls, Sir,

considering it was in their changing room.

-Well, thank you, Denzil for your investigative steer(!)

-LAUGHTER

-This is no laughing matter.

-Why not?

Pretending not to know your own mother just cos she's on the radio.

Andi is a freak.

LAUGHTER

That's enough!

Nobody should call anybody else a freak.

Now, Andi seems to think it's her duty to protect whoever did this. But let's get one thing clear.

If Andi O'Donnell isn't in full uniform by the end of the next period,

there'll be dire consequences! Now get your books out.

Of Mice and Men, appropriately.

-I take it you heard.

-The whole school did.

You've been making the headlines yourself.

Lunging at Lauren at Phoenix's party!

Oh, I'm gutted you had to see that. It's not what you think.

-It didn't look like the last great seduction, to be fair.

-Well, I blame Ronan. And alcohol.

-And being lonely.

-You're lonely?

I miss you.

Sorry, have I said too much?

No.

I miss you, too.

I think it's really cool that you're standing up for yourself.

You're the only one.

Go on. You wanted to do this.

What do you want?

Honest, Andi...

..we don't care that you've never been out with anyone.

It's your business. Nobody else's.

We're sorry. It was bang out of order.

Yeah, thanks for not telling on us.

Do you want to get some lunch?

This isn't some kind of trick, is it?

No.

Yeah, all right.

Just need to get out of this horrible tracksuit first.

Wish she'd just keep her gob shut.

Now everyone in the school thinks I'm some kind of frigid freak.

Well, prove them wrong - get a boyfriend.

SHE SIGHS

Who's going to want to go out with me?

I don't even have any mates.

We think you're all right.

Yeah. Word of advice, you might want to think about the way you dress.

What's wrong with the way I dress?

It's too quirky.

I should be able to look however I like.

Yeah, but you don't want to look like some kids' cartoon character.

Boys don't like quirky.

They like mature.

Look, you want to fit in, don't you?

-I guess.

-And you want a boyfriend?

Well, yeah. There is this one guy who seems kind of nice.

OK.

I'm going to give you a make-over.

Nothing too over the top, though, just nice and natural.

Yeah, I'm a wizard with a make-up brush. Look at Scout,

I helped her. Trust me.

The bonus is that we're all treated equally.

It's not about where you're from, or what you're into.

-We all get our fair say.

-Good answer.

Powerful and punchy. Oh, hang on, mate.

Wow, that's quite a transformation!

Hiya.

-You feeling better?

-Yeah.

-Good.

You look different with your clothes on.

It was a joke, and a compliment.

It was a joke and a compliment.

OK. Your jacket.

Thanks for, you know, being my knight in shining armour.

Always ready to help a damsel in distress.

Listen, do you want to go for a walk? I've got a gift for you.

It's nothing big - it's just I feel like everyone's watching us.

Yeah, OK.

You didn't have to, you know.

Good luck.

And your time starts now.

Oh, come on!

Your mum's brilliant, honestly, like, I never even knew what went into making a radio show before.

She's taught me loads about broadcasting on the airwaves.

-Yeah, she really likes you. She told me.

-Seriously?

Yeah, she said you'd got a great face for radio.

Ha ha, funny.

Yeah, it was a joke.

This is for you.

Oh, a comic. Great.

It's a collectible.

-Hey, Sian.

-Hey.

-Did you manage to get anything out of Andi?

-Er, no.

Sorry, I haven't spoken to her yet. I was giving Vicki MacDonald some extra coaching on her re-sits.

-Headache?

-Mmm, killer. I'll be all right once those kick in.

-I'll find Andi in a bit, all right?

-Thanks.

Hope you feel better.

-So, what makes this a collectible?

-First edition. Limited run.

-Only ten ever made.

-Really, that's brilliant.

-I know!

Not many people around here appreciate comics.

-So how much would you get for this?

-75, 100 quid?

I've got, like, 96 at home. My bedroom's wall-to-wall comics.

Sounds like you're sitting on a goldmine! Hey, if you ever need to liquidate...!

Yeah, well, you could come over and look at them some time if you like.

Really? I'd love that, yeah.

Whoa!

Sorry.

No apology necessary, but...

-Andi, I think you've got the wrong idea!

-Do you want to have sex?

Whoa!

You've definitely got the wrong idea!

-I'm a lot more experienced than my mum says.

-Stop! Are you out of your mind?

-I'm too old!

-I don't care.

-Well, I do!

But I like you and you like me, don't you?

Look, you're a sweet girl,

-but I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now.

-I messed up, didn't I?

No! Well, yeah.

You just need to slow down a bit...

a lot.

Look, this is way too fast. Come on, I'll take you back.

Great, so the running order is - intro from me,

interview with Mr Byrne, lines open over his Q&A,

teacher time, kids' reports, sum it up, shut it down.

-Yeah.

-Nervous?

Should we be?

It's live. Anything can happen.

-Ah, I was beginning to think you'd abandoned us.

-No way. I just got held up.

Hurry up, we're on the final countdown.

So do we have the winning reports?

Have you written out a question for Mr Byrne? Your time's running out.

Yeah, and I'm doing it now.

By the looks of it, it don't even look like you need any more anyway.

People really want to know the man behind the mask.

-Is Michael in?

-No, but I can make you an appointment if you like?

Erm, excuse me, where are you going?!

Has Michael been staying at the Regency Hotel?

Erm, no, and if he had, I'd know about it.

And YOU can't be here.

-Well, I've found my answer.

-Oh, the Regency Hotel. I suppose he was staying there, then.

I guess it makes sense that Michael would want to stay in a hotel after the burglary.

Unless of course he's using it for passionate assignations!

'Hello again, Waterloo Road, we're due to broadcast

'our "Talk to Viv" special live on the airways of Rochdale FM.

'And we have our winners - five minutes of fame goes

'to Madi Diamond, Trudi Siddiqui and Shona and Rhona Mansfield.

THEY SQUEAL

'Can you please be ready with your pieces at 2:30pm...?'

Well? Tell all.

-What did you talk about?

-Well, there weren't much talking.

-What do you mean?

-I mean... You know.

You did not snog Ronan Burley?!

-Just like that?

-Oh, whatever! Ronan's kissing everyone these days, like a serial snogger.

More than snog, actually.

-We went all the way.

-You had sex?!

Yeah, I wanted to.

I would never have thought Ronan was such a fast mover.

-Well, he is older.

-Do you feel different?

Yeah.

More like a woman, I guess. Less like a little girl.

Well, as long as you're all right. It's kind of a big deal, you know.

-I'm fine.

-Are you going to tell your mum?

-I suppose so.

THEY GIGGLE

Come on, girls, we've got some number-crunching to do.

I've just got to get my books.

'It's talk to Viv on Rochdale FM.'

Hello and welcome to Talk to Viv,

coming live to you today from Waterloo Road school,

where we've got an exclusive interview with renowned super head Michael Byrne.

We're going be treated to some student reports about life at this colourful comp.

Lines will be open as usual, so don't be shy.

Perhaps you've got an important question you want to ask,

or a funny story about your own school days. Let us know.

HE PLAYS RECORD

'Talk to Viv on Rochdale FM.'

It's quite a few years since I set foot in a school, I can tell you.

And I haven't missed it one bit!

Sorry, sir!

I was constantly in trouble,

unlike my daughter, who's an A-Grade student and terribly obedient.

-However did I manage that, eh?

-FIRE ALARM BEEPS

HE GRUNTS

ALARM STOPS

Aaargh!

-Who was I kidding?

-Think you should stick to Maths, Sir.

-If you're here to ridicule, get back to class.

-Free period.

-Think I can save it?

-No chance.

You all right?

Did you talk to Trudi?

What's the point? Trudi's the kind of girl who knows her own mind.

Is that such a bad thing?

Yeah, she's dissing Haris, dissing my dad,

and running around with Finn, of all people. I just can't stand seeing them together.

Well, if there's one thing I've learned, it's impossible to block the path of true love.

Maybe you should try talking to Finn.

It's not just him. It's...

I'm normally the one that lets Dad down.

Trudi's his reliable princess.

If I had the chance to make him happy, I'd take it.

You should stop giving yourself such a hard time. Maybe this thing is between Trudi and your dad?

Anyway, listen, I'd better sort this lot out.

Oh, I hope she likes take-aways!

She? You got a lady, Sir?

Yes, I have as a matter of fact.

Looks like I'm going to cook her up a dog's dinner!

-I could help you turn it around, if you like...

-What?

-You know your way round a kitchen, do you?

-Yeah.

Trust me.

I feel like I'm sitting here with a kindred spirit.

A fellow truant. But the difference being that I could not get far enough away from school

-whereas you came back. How did that happen?

-Simple, really. Education. No two ways about it.

My life was heading down something of a blind alley,

and education really turned that around for me.

I suppose you could say it saved me.

And now you're coming full circle, and saving others in turn.

You could put it that way, yes.

Let's take some questions from the school.

Linda Radleigh, head of English here at this vibrant comp,

has gathered together a selection.

-Hit us, Linda.

-Actually, it's my question.

-If you could be anything else in the world, what would it be?

-Good question.

Well, the answer to that is, truly, I wouldn't rather be doing anything else.

No regrets, no daydreams.

I really believe I'm doing the job I was born to do.

Inspiring stuff. But I'm sure we have something a bit more challenging -

let's move on to the next question.

Where did you get this?

Why, what does it say?

And it looks like we have our first caller of the day.

Line one has something important they'd like to say about school life.

Hello, are you there, line one?

Yeah, I'm here.

Andi? This is a first! What do you have to tell us, darling?

I just wanted to tell you I'm not the good girl you think I am.

I'm not a virgin any more. Thanks to a lovely boy in Year 13.

'We did it in the park.

'So there's your teen sexuality ratings spike, Mother.'

She doesn't even know him. She don't know anyone.

See if you can spin a story out of that.

OK. It's time for some music. We'll be back after this.

MUSIC: "Oliver's Army" by Elvis Costello

Settle down, please. That's enough!

-Yeah, leave her alone. She's all right.

-You've to admit, Scout, that's a bit screwed up.

Am I invisible or something? I said settle down!

COMMOTION CONTINUES

-Two consenting adults. I don't see what the fuss is about.

-That's cos you're a caveman.

You both are.

Oh, not you lot as well. Look, nothing happened!

-So, what if it did, man?

-It didn't!

-Yeah, right(!)

-You've been sniffing around everyone looking for kicks.

-That's not fair.

Ro, thanks for the note. I think it went OK.

No worries.

What's going on?

What sort of school is this that lets pupils wander off to have sex in public parks?

-I understand you're not happy about this. Neither am I.

-Andi, are you all right?

-Did this boy make you?

-No! I wanted to. I'm not a little girl any more.

-We need to know who this boy is.

-He went to another school.

She was seen going off campus with Ronan Burley.

Ronan? My so-called biggest fan? I have to go back on air -

when the show is over, I want a full explanation.

I assure you, we'll get to the bottom of this.

-I want Ronan hauled off that show.

-Look, let's not jump to conclusions.

-Andi's been picked on because Viv's her mum.

-Why am I only hearing about this now?

-Because as deputy heads, Sian and I were dealing with it.

-As deputy heads,

you and Sian can meet me in my office. Two minutes.

You didn't have to go that far with him, you know.

That's not what me and Em meant for you to do.

You didn't think for a second he'd actually do it with me, did you?

You sent me off so you could laugh about me behind my back.

It wasn't like that!

We were trying to help you.

Please.

-And I stupidly thought you liked me.

-I do. Honest.

The clothing thing, that was Em's idea - she gets carried away sometimes.

-Her life isn't that easy.

-What do you think you're doing?

I know Ronan better than anyone, and if he said it didn't happen, then it didn't happen.

He's not a liar.

-We're trying to have a private conversation here.

-He could get kicked out for this.

You're lying. You know it, and I know it, so tell the truth.

Are you all right?

What?

She's right. I made it up.

-You what?

-Me and Ronan...

we never had sex.

I asked him to, but he couldn't get away fast enough.

-Why did you lie about it?

-Cos...

I'm sick of being an outsider.

You have to tell Mr Clarkson the truth.

I know.

Close the door.

Right, so now the whole of Rochdale thinks Waterloo Road is some kind of sexually liberated summer camp!

-How the hell did this happen?

-I don't think Ronan Burley did it.

-He's just broken up with his girlfriend.

-And the bullying?

-I mean, how did they get off school grounds?

-I don't know.

-I alerted Sian to the problem with Andi...

-Tom, why are you palming Andi off on Sian?

It was obvious Andi would feel more comfortable confiding in a female!

-Sian?

-It's true, Tom asked me, more than once. I thought I had time,

-but with Vicki's re-sit...

-Why didn't you tell Tom you were busy?

I didn't foresee the situation getting this serious.

So neither of you was dealing with the situation and as a result, it's escalated.

Tom, you should have checked the case history before you brought Andi's mother into the school.

-Tom was doing his best, I'm sure.

-Find out what's going on.

And for the record, if Ronan and Andi were having sex on school time, they are both out, for good.

Sian...

I'm sorry about that,

-you're both deputies, I have to treat you the same.

-No, I know..

It's just as much my fault as Tom's, if not more so.

-My mind's not really on the job, I'm sorry.

-Are you OK?

I just... I keep thinking about Jez, and the kids, and you know,

-telling him I want a break is one thing, if he were to find out about us...

-Shh.

-He's going to kick me out a week before I leave school, for something I didn't do?!

-Ronan, I believe you.

Maybe you should go home until all this is sorted.

What? It's her word against mine!

KNOCK AT DOOR

-Oh, speak of the devil.

-Andi!

Look, what is it, have you got something against me?

No. It's not my fault. I'm just as embarrassed as you are.

Listen, embarrassment don't even come into it!

Come and tell us what it is you came here to say, yeah?

Nothing happened in the park. Ronan, he was a real gentleman.

I'm really sorry.

Well, thank you, Andi, for your honesty.

Better late than never.

So what happens now?

-I'll clear things with Mr Byrne and explain everything to your mother.

-Oh, please, no.

Why, what's the matter?

She only cares about her stories, she never even listens to me.

I'm like...white noise to her.

Well, we have a real chance to change that today.

We're going to make her see you're more important than her fans.

Can I have a word?

Yeah.

I was just hoping to catch Madi's moment on the radio.

Me too.

I was thinking later we could go to that new Italian place, we don't have to book or anything,

-we could just turn up and...

-Erm, that's not what I want to talk about.

OK, shoot.

Not in here. Let's go for a walk.

-Mr Clarkson, can I ask your advice?

-I'm kind of in the middle of something, Janeece.

-Yeah, but it's important.

-What is it?

Well, hypothetical scenario.

What would you do if you thought two of your colleagues were having an affair?

Well, I certainly wouldn't gossip about it.

What is it? What's the matter?

I need to know what's been going on.

I need you to be straight with me.

Jez, I don't want do this here - can we do it tonight, please?

-We promised each other that we would always be honest to each other.

-I know we did.

So tell me the truth.

Cos whatever it is, I can handle it. Right, we can get through it.

I can't.

I can't do this here.

It's Michael, isn't it? You were with him last night.

God!

HE SOBS

Just tell me...

..that it was unfinished business and that's all it was!

Maybe if we took a break..?

There's no such thing!

Jez, Jez...

Ronan's innocent, but I could've told you that.

So, if you've got a problem with me, I suggest you get it off your chest.

Cos I'm tired of being the fall guy when it comes to me and Sian!

Look, Tom, the good days turn into bad days all too frequently.

I had high hopes today would be different.

Mr Byrne!

Time for another student report.

We've got the lovely Madi Diamond from Year 13

with a very moving story called "Changing Lanes".

I never wanted to come to Waterloo Road.

'My parents split up, I had no-one to talk to.

'I had a wicked stepmother,

'and life was generally awful.

'But I'm getting to know her, and I think I really like her.

'Changing lanes, coming here'

has brought us all closer together.

My dad's a PE teacher,

and my wicked stepmother turns out to be not so wicked,

most of the time!

'You know, it's taught me that changes,

'even if they are scary, can be good.

'And Waterloo Road has supported me through it.

'Sian's a science teacher, and she is really great.

'It's a great school,

'and coming here has made me a happier person.'

-I hope I don't need to ask for your discretion?

-Of course not.

-You should go and deal with Andi.

Yeah, about that... I think expulsion is a bit too harsh.

We need to send a strong signal,

and you need to stop trying so hard to be their friend all the time.

-Are you all right?

-Fine.

-Jez knows everything.

-Yeah, I know, he's made it perfectly clear.

I don't know what to do.

Go home.

Be with the kids.

And if you need me, call me, all right?

(Yeah.)

And, Sian, when all this has blown over, just move in with me.

I know it's quicker than we said, but let's just get on with it.

I'm not sure that I'm ready yet.

In your own time then, OK?

I'm not going anywhere.

-Didn't think I could do it, did you?

-Where d'you learn to cook like that?

Do most of the cooking at home. Since my mum passed.

My dad's useless.

-I did a lot inside, too.

-But that's like...gourmet!

-You learn a lot of tricks when you've got a lot of time on your hands.

-I owe you one!

We can call it quits if you tell me who the lucky lady is?

Ah...that I cannot divulge.

Why not, what's the big secret?

Well, she's very private.

What, like witness protection?

-Not quite as dramatic.

-So I know her?

Does she work here?

Ah now, ey, ey, I, erm... I never said that.

Do you owe me one, or not?

She's a teacher, that's all you're getting.

The pool isn't that big. I'm sure I'll figure it out.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah, definitely.

-I'll go first.

-I'll introduce you.

I'm going to start off by asking you how old you are.

Mum, I need to talk to you.

-I'm on air, Andi.

-You're always on air. I need you now. I need you more than your fans do.

I didn't do it. Ronan never touched me.

Why would you lie about that?

You seriously compromised my show today, Andi.

I wanted to make some friends, and I thought that...

by pretending to be something I'm not,

that that would do it.

-Is this about the bullying?

-No. Not exactly.

I don't have any friends.

You're always helping everyone on the airwaves -

you can't even see that I'm not happy!

-Please don't pretend you care.

-Of course I care!

You never said you were unhappy.

I did!

You're just...you're so wrapped up in your job and your image and trying to be the world's agony aunt.

I am your mother first and foremost. You can come to me about anything.

No, I can't. You don't respect my privacy! My whole life has been on the airwaves.

You even said when I first started my period!

You are the last person I would confide in.

Andi, I'm so sorry.

I never meant to betray you or make you feel exposed,

and if it comes down to a choice between you and the radio, then you win.

KNOCKING AT WINDOW

I don't want you to give up the radio.

I just... I want you to find something else to talk about

instead of me, and our private family business.

So what is it that are we supposed to say?

I heard you got Ronan off the hook. Are you all right?

Nice one.

Mum?

For our final piece of the day, I wanted to talk from the heart.

It's been an educational and eye-opening experience -

not just for the kids.

One of you bright young things asked a very pertinent question earlier on.

You asked if I ever got embarrassed laying myself bare on air.

And I said no.

But I never stopped to think that my...

candour...

..would hurt other people's feelings.

And that's going to change.

From now on, my family is off-limits.

I'll talk to you again tomorrow, same time.

JINGLE PLAYS

We went too far, Em.

Hey, how did I know she was going to go all mad on Ronan?

Still, she needed a friend today.

You're not angry at me, are you? We're still mates?

Course we are, idiot!

THEY GIGGLE

KNOCK AT DOOR

Yep!

Ah, Tom, great, we need to get this LA application in by the morning.

-Sian's not available, so I'd like you to work late.

-I'm not going to be able to do that.

What's this?

My resignation.

I don't want to be your Deputy Head any more. I want to focus on teaching.

Oh, come on, you're over-reacting.

Michael, I have done my best for you today, and every day. And it's never good enough.

-You always favour Sian, and now we know why.

-I know you're frustrated, but leave her out of it.

It's the truth. It is pointless trying to impress you, and the harder I try,

the further I get from what really matters - the kids.

And they're the reason why I got into this game in the first place.

Can't we just chalk this down to one horrible day and move on? You're doing a good job.

-I know

-I

-am.

I can't work for you in this capacity.

You know, I have been defending you.

Looking up to you, even, and you're full of it -

up there on your moral high horse,

threatening to expel Andi and Ronan for fooling around at school, and all the time, you're...

Well, let's just say you're not the man of honour that you claim to be.

-Resignation accepted.

-Thank you.

Oooh, ta-da!

-Lasagne alla Bolognese.

-Very nice!

-Melanzane Parmigiana,

-Zabaglione, and Chianti.

-What, and you did all this on your own?

Well, I might have had a little help from a friend.

-Oh, no, you've gone to so much trouble!

-Sweat and tears.

-Ready when you are.

-Oh, Daniel, I'm really sorry, but something's come up.

Can we do this another night?

Yeah, no problem.

I really am sorry.

Right, I know you didn't have this in mind,

but I happen to be free this evening, hmm?

Do you want a hand getting through all that?

-Well, it seems a shame to let it all go to waste.

-Come on, pal.

-Where's Dad?

-Erm, I don't know, gym maybe?

-He'll probably just meet you at the restaurant later.

-Yeah.

-I thought you were brilliant on the radio, by the way.

-Did you like it?

I loved it.

Hey, Sir, enjoy.

-Oh, no, it's not what you think, my date had to cancel.

-Right(!)

Whatever you say, sir. Bon appetit!

-I was thinking of doing a movie night tonight.

-For the gang?

Or just for me and you?

I'm supposed to be seeing Haris.

-I don't want to get you in any trouble, like.

-It's fine. I'll get out of it.

I'd rather be spending time with you anyway.

-Tariq!

-What's your problem, man?

-THIS is my problem!

You'd better start getting used to it. I don't want to be with Haris.

And this is happening.

Think about your family, Trudi! It's not all about you.

-Thanks.

-For what?

-Sticking up for me.

-Who told you that?

-Andi.

Well, what are friends for?

-So you're giving yourself a night off after all your hard work?

-Yeah.

-Fancy one of Rochdale's finest burgers?

-Your treat?

Mr Byrne, of all people - who would have thought it, eh?

I wouldn't have believed it for a second. I didn't.

Poor Jez. And Madi and Zack. It's so sad.

Jez, are you all right, mate? I tried calling you.

-Yeah, I just needed to clear my head for a bit.

-Can I get you a drink?

-Yeah, Scotch, large one.

I'm really sorry, mate. I should've listened to you.

Please, Tom, you must've known all along, mate, I mean, you're in the same office.

-I swear I didn't. I would've told you.

-How can I trust you? You work so closely with him and with her.

Well, not any more, I don't.

I've stood down. This whole business has made my position untenable.

Fair play, mate.

Cheers.

Look, I've got to go, Josh is waiting for me.

I'll make sure he gets home all right.

Same again?

-Don't you think you've had too much?

-There's still only one of you sitting there.

HE SIGHS

Thanks for looking after me today.

You know, if I was married to a man like you,

the last thing I'd be thinking about is having an affair.

Really?

(Totally.)

I didn't say that cos I wanted you to kiss me!

-It was only to make you feel a bit better.

-It does make me feel better.

I really don't want to go home tonight.

Can I stay at yours?

-You're leaving?

-I haven't got much choice - my boss has been shagging my wife.

I need a new set of foster parents who aren't moving to Bristol.

Leave it with me.

-Who stood by you when you were worried sick about those nasty little notes?

-What notes?

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