Episode 24 Waterloo Road

A smoke does the trick for me.

£800 in cash thanks to Pandora's lotions and potions.

And I got you a sick MP3 player I think it's got one of those talking book apps.

I reckon you could listen to one of those books from book club in about a week even if you can't read it.

She's going to be all right.

There must nearly £500 missing from this envelope.

Where's the rest of my money?!

But sir, how do you expect us to get this money back?

-The same way I did young man, by working for it.

-What?

Then why are you still smoking this crap? Tell me!

We're going to exclude you for a week, make no mistake you betray my trust again, you are out for good!

-Do I sense a little romance in the air?

-I'm a married man, Daniel.

Stand aside, please, I am going to see my wife.

Grantly!

Judging by what I've just seen and what the kids think of you,

I believe there's a role for you here.

You want me as head of English?

Well I don't need a bodyguard. Welcome to Waterloo Road.

I came as fast as I could, everything still OK?

What are you doing? Come on, we're already late.

-Five minutes.

-Don't forget your PE kit.

-I won't.

-Look, you can't go to school like that mate,

tuck your shirt in. Don't you care what you look like?

Just because he doesn't spend an hour posing in front of a mirror, unlike some other people I could mention...

What's wrong with looking after yourself?

More like loving yourself.

I find it hard to believe you two are related.

-Huh, me too.

-Oi, Dad, can I borrow your moisturiser?

Your daughter, however...

Right, Zack, in the car in five minutes!

-It's amazing.

-You haven't read it properly. Some bits are really crap.

Shut up. It's mint. You think the kid will win but then he doesn't.

-You should show it to Mr Wilding.

-No way.

-Do you think I can finish reading it properly? Give you some more constructive feedback?

-Yeah, OK.

Label.

I thought you were going to walk with us today.

-She had a better offer.

-You wish!

Hey, cheer up.

-Are you OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

She's responding really well to the antibiotics,

and we're confident the infection's cleared up and she's stable.

Hello, Martha.

I'm your daddy. We're going to have so much fun, you and me.

-Thank you.

-What for?

For talking me into this, it's the best feeling ever.

See you later, sweet pea.

I'll be back at lunch, yeah?

I printed off our announcements for assembly this morning, so...

anything in red is your line.

Anything you say, boss.

Get a room!

Someone's happy. You stoned again?

-No! A whole week without a spliff now.

-Ah, well done. Nice one, mate.

BELL RINGS

-Shouldn't we go outside?

-Nah, it'll just be a test.

It might not be.

Here's one for you, Mr Mathematics. Two across - the Universal Answer.

42.

-Hear anything?

-We're just having a cuppa before we go out.

-It's not a test.

-What?!

It's somebody smoking in the toilets. Two sugars, please...

This is not a test. Come on, do you want to burn alive?

Quickly!

-Oi, will you watch it, you two!

-Kyle! Tariq! Grow up.

Come on. Shift yourselves!

Er, I'm sorry to interrupt your breakfast,

but there's a fire alarm going off. Do you need them to turn it up? Move!

What is wrong with you lot? Come on, get out!

-It exploded! It wasn't my fault.

-OK, well just try and calm down...

-You try calming down.

You're not the one that nearly got killed.

I don't think it would have killed you.

I would like to see how far Mr Byrne would get with an oven

that doesn't get past gas mark six, a set of cooking knives

that are older than my Granny and an exploding grill. What are you laughing at?!

Silence! Quiet, please! SHUT UP!

Thank you.

Have any of you got any idea how long it took you to vacate the building?

-38 seconds.

-LAUGHTER

Anyone else?

Five minutes?

Nowhere even close.

It took you 12 and a half minutes and that is not good enough.

It was no better at the other assembly points.

You're lucky it wasn't a serious fire,

and if it had been, some of you would have been killed.

We need to get that time down to three minutes.

I've assigned two student fire wardens for each year group to try and sort this mess out.

The following students step forward.

Year 12, Katie Pitkin, David Jones. Year 13, Kyle Stack...

Seeing as you're so keen to get the time down.

And Josh Stevenson.

Miss Boston is coordinating, I'll leave you in her capable hands.

The rest of you inside quietly, please. Get to your first lesson.

Has the time off done Josh any good?

Yeah, he's pleased to be back..

I thought we'd give him some responsibility, maybe it'll help him focus.

Thank you.

Right, come on, lads, hurry up, that fire alarm set us back.

-I've forgotten my boots.

-I reminded you about that earlier.

Size seven, yeah?

Just remember what I told you. Hang back, yeah?

Forget about the glory-hunting strikers.

Defenders, they're the real heroes.

I get it, I'm rubbish, keep out of the way.

That's not what I'm saying, OK?

The defence is the heart of the team. All right?

Nice boots.

To me! Come on!

Right, that's it. Move into space. Look up! Want the ball.

Good pass.

Come on, Zack!

That's it. Want the ball, move into space!

-To me!

-Talk to each other.

That's it, keep running, that's it, go on, go! Move!

To me!

To me!

Oh, what were that?

-Rubbish!

-I'm trying.

-That was the sweetest pass ever!

-I'm sorry, OK?

-A girl could have scored that.

-I know, I'm sorry.

Right, enough.

Stick to what you're good at, Shakespeare.

OK, don't tell anyone about the test later,

make sure you get everyone out in under three minutes.

Familiarise yourself with the fire exits and various assembly points.

Josh, what do you do if you find a lost year ten?

Point them to the fire and watch them burn.

Have you ever considered stand up, Kyle? That was really funny.

Where's the fire assembly point for years 11 and 12?

Can't remember, sorry.

It's good to see you've been paying attention, it's the playground.

BELL RINGS

OK, that's it. Go on, go back to your classes.

OK?

-How are we supposed to remember all of these?

-You are joking?

Yeah, obviously.

-I can't believe we lost that match.

-Don't blame me.

-You're the one who passed it to Zack.

-What's your problem?

Just a shame you didn't inherit any sporting talent off your dad.

Yeah, he's amazing, I'm crap. I get it.

I can't believe you're even related.

-Are you saying he's not really my dad?

-She doesn't mean it.

Maybe she's right.

Maybe he isn't.

Oi! Car park.

Break time and don't even think about being late.

-But, sir...

-It's not up for discussion.

You should have thought of that before you nicked my money.

Mr Budgen, can I have a word?

I've had a phone call from Candora Cosmetics.

What are you going to make us do?

Wait and see, but I think I'm going to enjoy this.

-What?

-Why are you being so off with us?

Look, I'm busy. Can it wait?

If you want it to, it's no skin off my nose.

It was just amazing. Just to hold her for the first time. See her little face.

Ah, I'm dead chuffed for you, Listen, I've just...

I've got a new camera, I could take some photos

of you and her if you want

Yeah, yeah, after lunch?

Got to introduce her to Uncle Chalks, haven't I?

Thanks for coming in at such short notice.

Not a problem. Any time.

Janeece, can I leave Mr O'Leary with you? He's come in to fix the kitchen after this morning's mishap.

Yeah, of course. I'm Janeece.

Craig.

-Is that my tea?

-Oh, yeah. Excuse my fingers.

And it looks like it's been nibbled a bit, but that was already like that.

Well, he doesn't know how lucky he is.

I'd pay good money to have my tea made by someone like you.

SHE GIGGLES

-Follow me.

-Gladly.

Lauren "Plagiarist Extraordinaire" Andrews.

Not too disappointing.

Use spell check!

Oi!

An improvement, structurally abysmal.

Adequate.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

I don't even have words for what you produced, Josh Stevenson.

A blindfolded chimp could have done better.

That big "F" on the front is for "Fail."

I don't get it. Why would I get an "F?"

I can't help you with the grill, the fire damage is no biggie, by the looks of it.

-Should be done and dusted by mid-afternoon.

-Right.

-I thought you'd be thirsty.

-You are an angel. Thank you.

So, how long have you been doing this for then?

Well, I don't normally, to be honest. You see, it's my company.

I usually run the business side of things.

Oh, me too.

Plan is to roll out a few more in different places.

You know, create a little empire.

Don't suppose Mr Byrne mentioned owt about a new grill, did he?

PHONE RINGS

Er, sorry.

Eh, he's got a business to run, give him a break.

Hmm, never trust a man who winks all the time.

One more chance for the secret playwright to come forward.

Catch you again, it's confiscated, OK?

Someone wrote it, I'm pretty sure it was one of you lot,

because I found it on top of your homework.

Look, it's an amazing play.

Whoever wrote it should be really proud.

BELL RINGS

-Thanks a lot.

-He loved it. What's your problem?

-What's yours?

-You have been acting weird all day, Naseem.

-Forget it. You wouldn't understand.

Nas! It's time to go.

Zack, can I have a word?

I don't like the term "servants".

No, I prefer to think of you more as skivvies.

And skivvies you will remain, until you have paid back every penny.

Like I said before, we didn't know it were your money.

Now I don't normally drive my little rust bucket in,

but today, as luck would have it, I did.

Inside and out. And be careful with the right wiper blade,

it's held on with gaffer tape.

It's going to take hundreds of cars to pay you back, sir.

You can't do this to us.

Phone.

Now, remind me, the police? All the nines?

All right, sir. We get the picture.

-Can't wait for book club in English sir.

-What?

Mayor of Casterbridge wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be.

Oh, pleased to hear it,

but this week's book is Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

-You changed it?

-You should have checked the notice board.

Never mind, there's still plenty of time.

Don't know what you're smiling at, given the speed you read.

Have you written plays before?

I've done some short stories, and I've got another idea for a play. But it's probably a bit rubbish.

-Don't be so hard on yourself. You've got a real talent.

-You think?

If you don't believe me, we'll do a read-through in Drama Club.

-Everyone'll think I'm a loser.

-It's only drama club, they won't give you a hard time.

I don't want my dad finding out.

-Why?

-He won't get it. He doesn't get anything.

-I used to think that about my dad, but....

-It's different.

-In what way?

-It's like we don't connect.

Sit down.

Mate, of course you're connected. He's your dad.

It's like Martha and I, she's my flesh and blood.

But what if you found out she wasn't really yours?

You know, biologically? Would it make a difference?

-Well, yeah, I guess it would. Why?

-I don't think he's my real dad.

We're nothing alike, he's never interested in stuff that I do,

he prefers my sister, and I'm the only one in my family with ginger hair!

-Hey, if you're worried about it, you should talk to him.

-No way.

Well, what else are you going to do, go all CSI and start doing DNA tests?

Just speak to him. You know, I bet you it's all in your head.

So what about the read-through?

Erm, yeah, OK. I suppose I don't mind.

Yeah? Fantastic.

Check out Mr Budgen's banging CHOONS!

We've got Barry Manilow, Elaine Paige, Barbara Streisand,

ooh, and wait for it, wait for it, it's only a bit of Westlife.

-Westlife? No way, man.

-Sad.

Oh, mint!

-What are you doing?

-Perk of the job, innit?

-Have you time to clean one more?

-Of course, sir.

-Whose idea was this?

-Mr Budgen's.

Where are the proceeds going?

I'm not sure you know, I think it's children's hospice, isn't it?

Right. Keep up the good work.

OK, OK, a hundred.

-Why did he give you all that?

-I'm doing a paternity test.

-I don't think Dad's my real dad.

-You what?

-We're too different to be related.

-Just because you're not that alike.

But we're nothing alike! He's sporty, confident,

and he hasn't got ginger hair.

Look, you're crazy, how are you going to do a DNA test

without someone knowing?

Plug a hair from the back of his head when he's not looking?

You do know this is a waste of time and money, don't you?

Fine. Do you want me to go with you or..?

Er, no, I'll be OK.

This essay for Budgen's well good.

Did you nick it off the internet or something?

Stop stressing about it, mate.

-You are OK sorting the prefects' rota?

-Yeah.

Where's your brother gone? He's not answering his mobile.

Maybe he's come to his senses, and realises he doesn't want to hang out with you?

You mean the same way him and your sister don't hang out with you?

-What?

-Yeah, saw them leaving together earlier.

-Oh, no...

-What's up?

-I've got to go.

-Where are you going?

BELL RINGS

-Wait!

-Catch up.

Scout?

-What?

-Your face?

-You're not exactly Brad Pitt, are you?

-No, it's all blotchy.

-And red.

-What?

Your face!

Oh, my... It's Budgen's face cream. Argh!

THEY LAUGH

I'm so sorry.

-They're gorgeous, Nas.

-They're flowers, so what?

-Yeah, Mum loved them.

-She loved custard, too, but we ain't putting that on her grave.

It don't seem that long, does it?

It's nearly time.

No, don't all call out at once, I can hardly hear myself think.

Come on! What are the themes running through The Rainbow?

Look at me!

Where did you get that?

-Your boot.

-Thieving again?

What is this stuff? It's burning my skin off!

What are you going to do about it?

LAUGHTER

I thought we agreed, no tuna in the office.

Oh, yeah, I had no choice. I need to go shopping.

-You all right?

-HE SNIFFS

Aw, what's that smell?

A flouting of the rules, is what it is.

Hello, hello. Ah, just the man, your son has written a very impressive piece of drama.

I thought we could do a read-through of it in drama club.

-Zack?

-Sounds good to me.

-Yeah, come and have a listen.

Er, I've got hockey practice.

More important than hearing the first ever performance of your son's work?

-Talk about getting your priorities right.

-Someone can cover. I'd love to come.

-Yeah. I'll pop in for a bit.

-Great.

-Didn't realise he was into that arty-farty stuff.

Er, excuse me!

Sorry.

-Is that..?

-Yes, it's tuna. Yes, it smells.

What do you mean "liquidation"?

No, I know what liquidation means.

I want to know how long I've been selling goods

for a dodgy company that no longer exists?

I don't care who I sue, but I'm suing!

I demand to speak to a mana...

Well, what's his number?

On the Costa del Sol.

Hello? Hello?

Sounds like it's your problem to sort now.

-See a doctor. What do you want me to do?

-Compensation.

-It's mot possible.

All right, I'll just have to tell Mr Byrne,

-see what he thinks of his moonlighting staff?

-No.

Looks like we won't have any more cars to wash.

Right, I want five themes written down by the time I get back!

Candora Cosmetics have gone under. Disappeared. Poof!

You're joking?

-Ah, you already knew?

-I tried to tell you, earlier.

-I'm just as angry as you are.

-Oh, I doubt that.

It was a scam, untested knock-offs from China.

There's nothing we can do.

I assure you, there is plenty I can and will do.

The police are trying to track down anyone who was involved.

We have to lie low, not go shouting us mouths off about it.

Police?

I'm sorry, I didn't think they would..

No, you didn't think.

Oh, I don't know how I've got involved in this. What have I got to show for it?

A load of dodgy cosmetics I can't shift,

and I've got a pupil with a red-raw face threatening to sue me.

Oh well, thank you very much, Ms Croft,

it's been a pleasure doing business with you.

Now it's all over, we don't have to spend any more time together.

Hmm, every cloud...

Pompous old git.

BELL RINGS

-I'm so sorry.

-Yeah, I know. You've got other things on your mind.

-A loser called Finn?

-No, it's all this Head Girl duties..

-Oh, whatever.

-No-one said anything at home this morning..

Course we didn't, cos we didn't want to upset Dad.

Oh, shut up, both of you! Just SHUT UP!

Nice one, Trudi, now look what you've done.

Oh, no, I skived.

How are you?

Anniversaries are never easy.

And who told you?

I make it my business to know about these things.

-How are you bearing up?

-Fine.

What's wrong?

I've messed up.

It's the anniversary of my Mum's death today. I forgot.

-They hate me.

-Ey, look, course they don't.

Nas has completely shut me out.

Yeah, I expect it from Tariq, but not from her.

-She won't talk to me.

-It's all right, come on.

I don't get it. Why keep it a secret? I could have helped you.

Believe it or not, you probably did me a favour.

-What are you talking about?

-I'm going travelling"

-But thank you.

-For what?

-For making me leave.

Brilliant!

Amazing, guys, well done.

Well done, Zack. See what I mean? Waterloo Road's very own Pinter.

-Your mum loves reading so you must get it from her side.

-Yeah, that's what I thought.

Zack, seriously, I'm really proud of you, mate. I wish I could write something that good.

BEEPER GOES OFF

Go, well, you've obviously got somewhere more important to be?

Hockey practice, mate. Sorry.

Well, I expected the work to be done by now.

It's not fair on Maggie, she needs to be using this whole area.

You've no idea how hard it's been for me without that grill.

I've had to completely change my menu.

And he is as good as useless,

he spends more time on that phone than he does fixing this mess.

Look, I admit, I have been inundated with work calls all day,

but I am 110% on it now, I promise.

-Is, er...everything OK?

-No!

I'm sorry, I'll have to find someone more reliable.

But we can't find no-one till tomorrow, so you might as well let him stay longer.

-Yeah, you won't regret it.

-3:30.

This is mental. I am so behind because of all this.

An F? What's going on?

I did try.

I'm not back on the drugs again, if that's what you think.

-Is everyone trying to make me pay cos of what happened? Is that why I was marked harder?

-What?

Being given all this stuff, the fire warden stuff. I don't know where all the exits are!

Look, will you... You're not helping yourself. Stop moaning. You want people to treat you normally,

then start behaving normally.

Josh!

JOSH!

Smile. Hey!

Oh, I've got some cracking shots here, mate.

Oh, thanks, pal.

She's a corker, that's for sure.

Ah, see, go back to Mummy.

There we go.

We're so grateful to you, aren't we? You've been amazing through all this.

What's wrong?

Can we have a word?

I'll, er... I'll get some coffees.

-Another doctor's going to be looking after Martha.

-Oh, why?

Because...

it's not appropriate any more...

Because Alex and me are in a relationship.

I didn't plan for anything to happen. It just did.

With him?!

But I thought...

Right.

OK, well...just got to get my head round it, that's all.

Matt...there's something else....

Alex has been offered this post as a consultant,

and it's a perfect career move and he can't afford not to take it...

but we may have to move to Bristol.

You've known him five minutes.

I'm sorry.

I'm not just the mate who provided the sperm, Rosie. I'm Martha's dad.

You can't just take her away from me, start playing happy families with someone else.

-You'll always be Martha's dad. That'll never change.

-I understand why he's angry.

-This is private.

-If you care about her, at least hear her out.

I am reporting you. I'll get you struck off.

You see how far you get to Bristol then, shall we? You're taking advantage of her.

She's vulnerable, her hormones are all over the place. She's no idea what she's doing.

-I know how it must look, but it's not like that.

-Matt, Matt!

Neither of us expected this. It just happened.

It's a shame you didn't meet Dr Perfect earlier isn't it?

-HE could have given you the baby.

-I'm so, so sorry...

Do what you like with him, but don't involve Martha.

You want to move to Bristol, fine. I'm keeping my daughter.

Grantly, an F was a bit harsh, wasn't it?

Tom, it was generous. It should have been ungraded.

-It can't have been that bad.

-HE MOUTHS

Just go easy on him, will you?

I can get you a copy, if you want.

How did Josh seem to you earlier?

Why?

No reason.

No, go on, say it.

He did seem bit out of it. I just...

I wondered if perhaps he'd not managed to kick it.

Look, I appreciate you trying to help, but he's my son and he's fine.

He's learnt his lesson, he just needs to be left alone, all right?

-Hello.

-You all right?

-Yeah, fine.

I was thinking... does mum have ginger genes?

I was just wondering why Zack's got red hair.

Why are you asking me that?

-I've been doing genetics in biology.

-What's going on, Madi?

Promise you won't kick off? Promise?

OK.

Zack's doing a DNA test. He doesn't think you're his real dad...

-You what?

-You can't tell him, he'll kill me.

Why?

It's not that big a deal, right?

I can't believe this. Where is he?

He wouldn't let me to go with him.

-No, you promised.

-I'm sorry, Madi, but you can't expect me to ignore this.

-But...

'Hi, it's Zack. Sorry I can't take your call right now...'

The electrons in the metal ions are excited to higher energy levels by the heat.

The colour can be used to identify the elements, so...what metal produces this colour?

Josh?

Which metallic element might this be?

-Trudi?

-Sodium.

Very good. And how do we refer to the specific wavelengths of light produced?

-Mate,

-I

-would have got that. Kyle Stack would have got that.

Finn?

-The atomic emission spectrum.

-Very good. So, number two.

-What are you doing?

-If you'd been listening, you'd know.

You're going to set the fire alarm off.

-Calm down, you big girl.

-No! Put it out.

Moving on..

All right.

But she's my daughter. So, how can we stop this?

This is ridiculous. Thanks for nothing.

I'm not going to let them get away with this.

-What you doing?

-I'm going to ring the hospital, let them know what Dr Stoneham's been up to.

-Don't do anything when you feel like this.

-Why not? I will get him sacked.

Look, if Rosie loves him, getting him sacked won't change things.

-It'll just make her hate you.

-Sorry, are you defending them?

-Course I'm not defending...

Just get out! All right? I need some space. GO!

Are you waiting for a bus, you? What's with all the clock watching?

It's nothing.

FIRE ALARM RINGS

Right, OK, everyone. Josh is the fire warden, so do as he says.

Come on, then, Josh, what are we doing? All right, keep it together, mate.

-There's a fire exit right out there.

-Josh?

-Weird.

Josh, what's going on, mate?

What are you doing? It's OK. Hey, mate, it's OK.

Make your way to the appropriate assembly points, please, as quick as you can. Come on, Finn.

What?!

DNA clinic?

Hang on one second. Right, you lot, keep moving.

Criminal? No, no, I didn't realise.

I gave him my permission for the test.

Sure, great.

Well, erm, I'll look forward to hearing from you later, then.

Lewis, hurry up.

Come on, keep moving.

Looking good.

What have you done to yourself?

-It's not mine.

-Well, whose is it?

-It's Josh's.

-What?

-He started freaking out, sir.

Hitting the fire alarm when it was already going off. I wanted to go after him, but..

Oh, man.

Josh?

Josh!

Where is he?

He must be this way.

JOSH SOBS

Josh, Josh... Are you OK? What are you doing here?

It wouldn't stop.

Can you get a first aid kit?

You're fine.

Why's it all going wrong, Dad?

-What?

-I don't know. Everything. Today.

Come on, mate. Let's get you sorted, you'll be OK.

OK, well done everyone. You managed to knock ten minutes off the previous time.

You did it in two and half minutes and that's a record, I think.

Unfortunately, this won't mean an earlier finish.

I need you all back in your classes as soon as possible, thank you.

Grantly, how much did you raise at the car wash?

Scout said it was for the Children's Hospice, right?

Did she?

Yeah.

-That's right.

-Raise much?

-Nah.

I can have Janeece put it in the safe for you.

Looks like a lot to me.

Zack, I've been looking for you,

I had a call from a clinic a little while ago.

Something about a DNA test. What's going on?

There's no way we're related. Everybody thinks so.

What do you mean everyone?

Harley, Nas, Madi...

Madi?

I was talking to Mr Wilding and he said he'd feel different

if Martha wasn't really his, so I thought that was maybe why...

Mr Wilding?

Do you know that what you did was illegal?

I had to cover for you and say that you had my permission.

Do you realise how much trouble you could get in?

What even possessed you?

Yeah, why didn't you just come to me first?

Don't those tests cost money?

Where did you get the money from?

I sold my laptop.

I don't believe this, mate.

Is everything all right?

Enjoy meddling, do you? Come to have another go?

I'm sorry?

Zack has gone and had a DNA test done because of you.

You've been a dad for all of five minutes, and you reckon you know it all?

No. But I know I'll never take my child for granted.

Oh, right, and what's that supposed to mean?

He's an amazing kid and you have no idea.

He's absolutely no self-confidence because of you.

He feels completely alienated.

All I'm trying to do is help him, to encourage him,

yet the whole time he's worried about what you think.

What was it you called it earlier? "Arty farty", brilliant.

It's no wonder he questions whether you're his dad. I would.

-What? You can't blame me for being annoyed.

-Worried more like.

Zack!

You knew it was a test. You didn't need to panic.

Why did you do it?

There, it's not too bad. You OK?

What happened?

He just slipped on some glass in his rush to get out quickly.

I think I was a little too severe at the fire warden training.

He's fine. He's doing really well.

He's just a bit shaken, aren't you, Josh?

Well done on the evacuation. Whatever your methods, they worked.

And you take it easy, OK?

Thank you.

I did it for Josh, OK?

You got a second?

You need to get him to a GP as soon as possible

He's just a bit wobbly.

Do you not think he needs to talk to someone?

Think about what he's done, OK? It's not normal behaviour.

Just take him to a GP and see what they say?

Why don't you just stick to basic first aid

and leave the psychology to the people that know what they're talking about?

I was just about to call you.

-I think...

-Alex feels terri...

Alex feels terrible.

He didn't want to make things worse.

Matt, I know this sounds really awful now, but in a way, I thought you'd be a bit relieved.

What, that you were taking my daughter to the other side of the country?

Why is that?

Remember how hard it was for me to talk you into all this?

Even when I was pregnant, I knew you were worried.

But it's different now. Martha's here, I love her.

I've cuddled her, and I want to be able to cuddle her every day.

Not just... Not just once a month or whatever it'll be.

And that's why Alex made me come.

He wants you to know he'll do everything he can now to get work as close to Rochdale as possible.

He doesn't want to take Martha away from you.

Neither do I.

I don't want you to be lonely.

I know.

Right.

If you want me to call it off with him, I will.

You're my friend and I made a commitment to you first.

I'm not going to ruin your chance at happiness, darling.

SHE SOBS

So, what is the main theme?

Zack?

I haven't read it.

Naseem?

Maybe it would be quicker to ask if anyone has actually read it?

Really?

I'd love to hear your thoughts(!)

Well, I think it's loneliness what makes the monster do what he does.

Especially when he realises even Frankenstein hates him.

Hmm. An example?

Or have you just swallowed a section of the book notes?

Erm... Well, there's that bit where he says something about

everyone thinking he was horrible, especially the bloke who made him.

That's when I started feeling really sorry for him.

Mm-hm. I know the section - page 83.

Go on, then, read it aloud.

"All men hate the wre... wre..."

Wretched.

LAUGHTER

"How then, must I..."

How have you managed to read a whole book in a day

when you can barely manage two sentences?

I listened to an audio book.

I'm the only one who made an effort, and still you're giving me a hard time.

Oh, sit down, Harley.

You know, you have an impressive grasp of the narrative.

Now, with a little help with the reading,

you could get a lot out of book club.

Really?

You're going to help me?

I suppose I could give you some extra tuition?

That'd be great.

-OK.

-BELL RINGS

Nas, you all right?

Not you as well. I'm fine.

-Trudi feels really bad.

-She should.

Just imagine how you'd feel if you'd forgotten.

-I know how you're feeling, you know.

-Your mum died, too, did she?

My girlfriend did.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

It's not the same, though.

No, you're right, but I do know what it feels like

to want to share stuff with someone who's not there any more.

All right? Come here.

SHE SOBS

Ssh! Quick, quick, she's coming...

-BOTH:

-Ta-da!

A small something to say sorry for being under your feet all day.

Mr Byrne agreed to this?

Er no, it's a present from me to you.

-What's the catch?

-A mate of mine owed me a favour, honest.

What the hell, I love it!

Hey, what's up?

Nowt. It's just one of them days. Thanks.

Well, I don't know about you, but I ain't half worked up a thirst.

Oh, well, I'd love to go for a drink,

but I can't, I've got to erm...

I didn't mean that.

Sorry.

It was nice meeting you.

Yeah.

You all right? Yep.

Look, Jez, I was trying to help Zack as a teacher.

I didn't mean to criticise what you do.

-It's a bit late for that. The damage has been done.

-I'm sorry.

Look, it's a DNA test, it's hardly the end of the world, is it?

Well, we'll have to wait and see.

You're not sure that he's yours?

I don't know.

We separated for a month or two before she got pregnant and I was away a lot.

I had the odd niggle, but...

Well, my grandad had red hair

and I managed to reassure myself with that.

So what happens now?

I'm going to go and meet Zack and we're going to wait for the call.

Well, pull out, say that you don't give your permission.

How's that going to make Zack feel?

It's just going to make him more suspicious.

No, I'm just going to have to go through with it

and hope I'm worrying about nothing.

Whatever happens, whatever the results,

you can't erase 14 years just like that.

What if he's not mine? Who knows what he'll do.

I just wish I'd more time to put things straight.

I'd better go and find out....

I don't understand.

I thought I'd start feeling more normal after I quit.

You really haven't been smoking?

Josh! How's the hand, mate?

Nothing too serious, just enough to get him out of washing up for a while.

Sorry, Finn, we're in a bit of a rush, mate.

Yeah, no worries.

I don't get it, Dad.

-Well, we should go to the doctors.

-Why?

To find out why you're feeling like this. Why you feel so anxious.

I don't get what I've done wrong.

Well, let's just get it checked out, yeah?

Here - don't worry. I paid over the odds for it, he's not going to give you any trouble.

-Mads told you?

-Yeah, but under duress.

She's very loyal, that sister of yours, you know.

Thanks.

How else are you going to write your Oscar-winning script, eh?

Listen, if you want me to read stuff that you write, I'd love to...

-You don't have to.

-I want to.

And I'm glad that we're different.

I don't want you to change...

so I want you to know

that whatever the results are, I love you for who you are.

I mean, we're the A-Team, you and me, right?

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Yeah, yeah, I'm Jeremy Diamond.

OK, go for it.

Yeah. Thanks. Yeah, thanks very much.

Bye.

-Are you pleased?

-What do you think?

Oh, just perfect.

I'll be glad when today's over, too.

I shouldn't have shouted at you earlier. It wasn't your fault.

Is that an apology?

I'm gutted, too.

We went in to make money and we came out in debt.

We had some fun, I suppose.

I suppose.

It's the takings from the car washing.

I explained it all to Mr Byrne, that you needed the money for Fleur.

Big softy after all.

Is everything OK?

No, not really.

Fleur's not well, they've called the doctor, pneumonia.

Look, I'm so sorry.

-If there's anything I can...

-Thank you.

-Are you just off to see her?

-The care home, yeah.

Move.

-What's the matter with you?

-That Craig.

I flirted with him all day, asked him to go for a drink and he blew me out.

Oooh, I'm sorry, Janeece.

-Janeece!

-What's he want?

A certain young man asked me to give you this.

Ah!

Thank you.

What for?

-For hiring the man of my dreams.

-Night all.

But the fire alarm was going off, so why did you smash the glass?

Josh?

You seem a bit on edge, is everything OK?

What do you mean?

Your dad mentioned you hadn't been quite yourself.

I just feel like everything's a lot harder,

like it's a lot more difficult.

Why do you think that is?

What?

How long have you been feeling like this?

I don't want you to worry,

but I'm going to refer you to a psychiatrist.

Just so you can speak to someone, about any problems.

You'll receive a letter soon with an appointment

and please, try not to worry, OK?

Can you just wait outside for a minute?

Could I have a quick word?

I know you're not a psychiatrist.

I just want to know what you're thinking.

I can tell you're thinking something.

-I'm very reticent to say anything.

-I just want to prepare myself.

I promise I won't hold you to anything,

it stays within these four walls. Please.

Well, I'm no expert...

but I'd say he's displaying the symptoms of a psychotic breakdown.

What does that mean?

It could be a one-off.

If it were to keep happening, it could mean it's schizophrenia.

But, please, don't worry until you see someone

who knows what they're talking about.

-Thank you for your time.

-No problem.

All right? Come on. Let's get you home.

She doesn't recognise me.

Looks straight through me most of the time.

He's a bright kid

and it's not fair for him to be kept in the dark about this..

-Go on, be with your wife.

-Hmm.

-He's tendering his resignation.

Oh, Josh.

I think we've lost Grantly.

-What about the paper?

-When's it got to be finished?

-Three o'clock.

You can give your article to Zack to start formatting, please.

There is no article.

This is a disaster.

Where are you hiding?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd