Episode 22 Waterloo Road

-Meet your new Deputy Head.

-I'm not Kacey no more, I'm Robbie.

You can wear trousers all you like, but you're still a girl.

The teachers are way too complacent

and you're in the post to give them a boot up the backside.

Lorraine just laughs, clicking her fingers and seeing you jump.

He's got kidney failure. He's on dialysis.

I'm concerned about your involvement with Christine.

-Think about the future, before things get serious.

-Too late.

-We're moving in together.

-I really want you to be pleased for me.

We're in this together!

You can't donate.

I've got some amazing plans for this school and, you and me,

we're the ones to make this happen.

Flippin' heck!

Morning, flower. Come on you lot! Up!

Rhiannon Salt! I've got better things to do with my time

than to chase around after you...

That were well good.

-If you say so.

-Totally kicked YOUR butt.

Only cos you were Professor Anders.

Oh, get a lamer excuse.

If you play Halo Wars with Rhiannon Salt, then expect to get hurt.

I'd get going, if I were you.

I'll see you at school.

Finally!

Where've you been?

I was just about to call the police.

So, who was that?

Who where who?

On the bike, smart mouth.

Naz, he gave me a lift.

Well, your bed hasn't been slept in all night.

So, where were you?

Work.

Very funny. After work?

Where'd you spend the night?

That's my business.

Don't think you are getting away with this.

How did you go last night?

Well, the evening passed in a most satisfactory manner

with the lovely Diane.

Diane?

Di, for short.

As in...

peritoneal dialysis.

Honestly!

You make more mess than the bloomin' kids...

Ooh... Sorry.

I missed you.

You wouldn't want to be in here with all this paraphernalia.

How was breakfast in the mad house?

Sounded lively.

Rhiannon.

She'd try the patience of a bloomin' saint, that one.

You know she didn't come home all last night?

Listen, can you make your own way into work?

Oh, it's our fair benefactor's new dawn.

The great catering tender. Are you sorted?

Give or take the odd coffee stain.

So, big move.

Any second thoughts?

No, none at all.

Me neither. Here's your keys.

Access all areas.

Sounds promising.

So, is there a set for me and Imogen?

Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that.

About what?

Imogen staying over. I can't allow it.

But we're serious about each other...

I can't be seen to allow that. You're both students at the school.

And you lied to her mother about your engagement.

-PHONE RINGS

-Excuse me a minute.

Hello?

Michael's right about Imogen's mum...

..but I will talk to him, OK?

Just be patient.

This is the best thing that's happened to us

in a long time, Connor. Just try and be happy, for me.

Oh, Naz. Can you look over these figures for me?

Oh, you're coming in low.

We're bidding to win it, aren't we?

Yeah, but not if we lose money.

Oh, what are you doing?

Just emailed the spreadsheet to myself.

I'll have to tweak these numbers at school.

Listen, just make sure you're at this meeting on time.

Miss Donnegan is a real ball-breaker.

I'll be there, and I've got a little trick up my sleeve.

Free taster meals for staff and pupils at Waterloo Road.

And how much is that going to cost?

It'll be worth it when we win that canteen tender.

You've got to speculate to accumulate.

Well, according to the books, Dad,

-we haven't been doing much accumulating lately.

-Naz?

Listen, I really appreciate all your help with this.

You know how much we need this contract.

I know, but no-one cooks as well as you, Dad.

We'll be OK, trust me.

Morning.

Are you serious?

As of today, we are going to be sharing.

I did send you an email.

Oh, did you?

There are going to be some big changes made in the way we operate.

And what kind of changes was it you had in mind, Lorraine?

-We need to cut 30% of our running cost.

-How much?

It's all here, in the accountant's report.

Right, so now your accountant makes the decisions about

-how we run this school, does he?

-No, but we need to be

much more efficient, if we want to stay viable.

Both on the teaching side of things and on external contracts.

Catering. Maintenance. IT.

And I need your input, Michael.

Which is why, when I'm here, sharing a space is a good idea.

-I've also been thinking about you.

-Oh?

-Don't look so worried.

You'll like this.

I think it's time you went back into the classroom.

-Teaching?

-Yeah.

You're highly qualified and in a subject we're struggling to cover.

We can't afford to waste those skills.

I've asked Sonya to timetable you in for a couple of classes today.

-Today?

-Yep, you're going to be great.

What are you going to be doing in my absence, Lorraine?

-Acting Head of school?

-Now, that is a job I would never want to do.

Now, I've got this catering contract, for a start.

We've our final pitches today.

I hope Maggie's is one of them.

Yeah, somewhat surprisingly.

Given the cock-up with last week's interviews.

It doesn't surprise me.

You're so loyal, Michael.

Anything else you want to share with me, Lorraine?

We're moving the school to Latin America?

Or hosting the Commonwealth Games?

No, that's all. Good luck in the classroom.

PHONE RINGS

I'm looking for the owner.

That's me. Usman Haq.

If it was a problem with your order, I'm sorry.

I've got a new guy on deliveries.

My problem is with my girl staying out all night.

Rhiannon Salt?

Oh, yeah. Rhiannon,

she works here, but I clocked off at nine.

She got home OK though, yeah?

This morning, on the back of a scooter.

With some toe rag called Naz.

That toe rag is my son.

Well, your son didn't even have the decency

to stick around and explain himself.

Look, if Nasir gave Rhiannon a lift home,

then it sounds to me as if he was doing her a favour.

Not good enough.

That girl is my responsibility.

Right, well, tell you what,

why don't you take full responsibility for her?

Cos I just don't need the hassle.

She no longer works here.

What, you're firing her?

Just tell her I'm sorry. In fact, tell her what you like,

just close the door on your way out.

Oh, Maggie!

Still waiting for your final figures.

It'll be with you before lunch, is that OK?

Sure, well, it's worth getting right.

People need to see that reducing costs

doesn't mean you have to reduce on quality.

You don't want much, do you?

All you need to do is make a good pitch and convince me

we should stick with you, all right?

See you then.

Oh, hiya.

Hiya.

Sorry, it's a bit rubbish.

I was parked on a double-yellow.

Is it for Grantly?

No, it's for you.

A few of us just wanted to wish you good luck for today, for the tender.

Not that you'll need it, you're a dead cert.

Thanks. I wish your sister felt the same.

If this goes wrong today, you'll be buying us a leaving card next.

It won't come to that. You'll be fine.

Thank you. I'm sorry to have asked you.

I've been trying to get that blinkin' thing fixed for weeks.

It's fine.

It gives me a break from my studies

and an excuse to spend some more time with you.

DOOR OPENS

-Morning.

-Morning.

Ndale's just fixed my blinds for me.

Oh, a handyman. Just what I need.

Actually, no, he is not a handyman.

It's OK. I'm happy to help whenever I can.

Could I nab him when you're done with him, please?

Of course. If that's all right with you, Ndale?

-Yes, it's fine.

-My lamp's broken

and my desk wobbles every time you lean on it.

Just you make sure they don't take advantage of your good nature,

as I've just done.

Numb nut!

Erm, I...

Just leave it, will you?

Erm, I...

I...

What, is that some sort of apology?

I...

What's the joke?

Kevin.

The minute any fit girl's on range, he gets totally tongue-tied.

He never shuts up when he's around me.

Change of plan today, I'm not taking you.

You're going into mainstream classes, so here's your timetable.

Why can't you take us?

Have you been given the push?

Yeah, you can tell us, Miss.

-Have you been sacked?

-No, I haven't.

We're just making some changes to the way things are done.

Like what, exactly?

Well, the whole purpose of this unit

was to equip you to go back into the main school

and the core curriculum. So, see this as a trial run.

No more sin bin.

That's not quite how I would have put it, but, yeah.

Nice one.

BELL RINGS

Well, get going. You've got a busy day.

So how's the big move going?

HE SIGHS

That good?

Mr Byrne won't give me my own set of keys and says you can't stay over.

He can't do that. What does your mum say?

It's not about my mum. It's all because we're lying to yours.

You don't even know the half of it.

So we can't hang out at mine or yours now?

No.

Look, maybe we should tell your mum?

Tell everyone the truth.

Not till we get to our own place.

It better be soon.

-Thanks for this.

-Yeah, well, I'm not going to win any popularity contests.

-Except with me.

So, you know the brief?

-Yeah.

-Remember, it's just not about how they teach.

It's numbers of pupils, curriculum duplication.

Any areas where we can cut back on wasted resources.

You know it's going to ruffle a few feathers.

They need to be ruffled.

You still haven't told me how Michael took the news,

about me observing.

You haven't told him?

He's going to be fine, all right?

Oh, what? It's, like, his first lesson in a million years.

He's going to just love having me watch his every move.

I'm sure you'll make him feel at ease.

You're good at that.

So you and Connor aren't going to get to spend

any quality time together? That's tough, that.

Tell me about it.

So who's been putting a smile on your face this week?

Some fella on the weekend. He was proper gorgeous

and he definitely knew how to make a girl happy.

It's well better when they know what they're doing.

Isn't that right, Rhiannon?

Yeah.

-You need blinkers.

-What?

Stop you eyeing up Rhiannon.

So who was your first, then?

Just some lad back in Liverpool. It was a disaster, though.

I think everyone's first time is like that, isn't it?

-Isn't that right, Rhiannon?

-Yeah, definitely.

So who was your first?

That's for me to know.

So there has been someone?

Yeah.

Come on, Rhiannon, spill.

Was it someone at school?

It were Naz.

BOTH: Geek boy?!

I can't believe you never said.

It happened after I started working at the shop.

He was looking at me through the mixed salad tubs

and one thing sort of lead to another.

I bet it did.

He's nothing like you'd imagine.

How'd you mean?

He knows exactly what buttons to push.

He treats you like a woman, but he's still in charge.

Rhiannon, you dark horse!

Right, in you come. Good morning.

Quiet, please, if you can. Morning, morning, morning.

Nikki?

Morning. Yeah,

I'm going to be here sitting in. I hope that's OK?

Er, I didn't know you had an interest in science.

-I don't.

-So...?

-I'm doing some monitoring for Lorraine.

-Of what?

Not just you, obviously.

I'll be sitting in on all the staff.

It's part of the classroom review for the school efficiency drive.

Surprised she didn't tell me.

Actually, I'm not surprised.

Thanks, Michael.

Right, good morning.

So it was just a loose connection? Thanks for that.

Like I said, I'm happy to help.

He's ever so good. He fixed the wonky leg on my desk, and my lamp.

Oh, is that right?

-You any good with shelves?

-Ah, well...

Can I borrow you later? The store cupboard's knackered.

We haven't had a decent maintenance team

-since Miss Donnegan's latest review.

-No problem.

Great, well, I'll catch you later.

Where can I find that?

Oh, I can show you round, if you like?

Won't you be too busy?

PHONE RINGS

Nah,

it'll be fine.

Now, all the paper pieces have the same electric charge,

so repel each other.

Have a go at that?

Good, see that?

Good, excellent.

BELL RINGS

OK, next week, we'll be learning about the practical applications

of electrostatic inductions, so you have that to look forward to.

Go out quietly, please.

The old master hasn't lost his touch.

Less of the old, thank you very much.

Hopefully, this will convince Lorraine

that we don't need to reinvent the wheel.

We do know what we're doing.

What's that?

A spreadsheet for Dad's bid.

You're cutting it fine, aren't you?

Tell me about it.

If it's all right with you,

Lorraine's requested that I sit in on lessons today, as an observer.

Well, surely this should have been cleared in advance, Miss Boston.

I think she feels it's a more accurate reflection

to do it this way. You won't even know I'm here.

Right, Year 12...

Pass these around for me, would you? One per table.

Has this anything at all to do with World War II?

-No, Miss.

-Then you can collect it at the end of the lesson.

Until then, I require your full concentration.

Miss, I need that back. It's important.

So are your studies. You're a bright boy, Nasir.

With the right attitude, you could go a long way.

-Turn to page 64...

-I need to keep working on those figures.

..and read the first three passages quietly.

'My sister Lorraine owns the school.'

I do the more day-to-day, hands-on sort of stuff.

It's very kind of you to give me a tour.

Oh, this place is a bit of a maze, but you'll soon get the hang of it.

This is the IT area, with all the computers and stuff.

I'm imagining you don't have many of those over there,

computers.

Oh, except for them ones Blue Peter sent you.

I'm from Malawi, not the Stone Age.

What are you doing here?

You all right?

That's what I came to ask you.

Oh, you look like you've got the world on your shoulders this morning,

what, with the Iron lady's catering tender.

Rhiannon's late-night shenanigans.

It's nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.

-You sure?

-Yes, I'm sure.

Now, stop your mithering, and let me get the ruddy thing finished.

You know, it might help if you clear the air with Rhiannon first.

No, you're right.

Well, don't sound so surprised.

No sense in leaving it hanging.

I'll just remind her of the house rules,

and she'll understand.

I wouldn't hold your breath.

History.

Of course.

Is that your boyfriend, Miss?

BELL RINGS

Right, remember, please, I want your essays on the benefits

of primary and secondary sources for next lesson, please.

No excuses, Rhiannon Salt.

Thank you, Audrey.

My spreadsheets?

Thanks, Miss.

Please reflect on my words.

You run the risk of ruining a very bright future, young man.

I need to finish this.

Do you want a hand?

Not unless you can magic some winning figures out of thin air.

Seriously? Rhiannon and Naz are sleeping together?

Hopefully, it was in the dark. Rhiannon would be pretty frightening

-with the lights on.

-Don't be mean. I think it's cute.

Rhiannon?

What's this I hear about you and your friend, Naz?

None of your business.

I'll tell you what is my business,

you being at that dive of a takeaway and then not coming home all night.

Well, I've spoke to Mr Haq,

and you won't be working there again.

You've lost me my job?

I'm just looking out for you.

I don't believe this. I love working there,

and when am I going to hang out with Naz?

You're just jealous cos you're old, aren't you?

You'll wish you never stuck your nose in.

Well, that didn't look good.

Homework?

This is exactly what me and Imogen need.

I thought you guys wanted to rent a flat?

Well, we're running out of time, we have no money

and moving in with Mr Byrne is turning out to be a nightmare.

Two-teacher household, I had my doubts.

If we had something like this,

we could just clear off and leave them to it.

-So snap it up, then.

-I would, if I had a spare two grand.

-All right?

-Hi.

You're really stressing about this contract, aren't you?

Unless this pitch comes off, that's probably it. We'd go under.

Maybe this'll help.

Maggie's spreadsheet.

She shouldn't leave stuff lying around, should she?

Why are you doing this? I thought you liked her.

Yeah, well, not any more.

Where the hell is it?

Lynn, keep an eye on things for a bit, will you, please?

Wow!

It's so good of you to do this.

It just needed a bit of oil.

Don't be so modest.

Hey, Lorraine!

This is Ndale.

Oh, I've heard good reports.

Apparently, you were a godsend last week, I owe you one.

Lorraine... Lorraine...

He's been really helpful this morning.

He's fixed Audrey's blind, Tom's shelves,

my lamp and my desk,

not to mention all them lockers.

Sonya, what's your point?

Well, we haven't had a decent maintenance team

since your last review.

Not that I have to justify myself to you,

but the last team were useless and expensive.

Yeah, well, he could be an affordable alternative.

And there's loads to keep him busy, yeah?

Ndale,

you've obviously won my sister over.

-She tells me you're looking for work.

-Ah, well...

I could offer you a trial, say,

a few days a week to start with?

Well, I wasn't, but thank you.

That would be great.

That's assuming you have the right to work here.

-Yes, I have a student visa.

-Good.

Give your details to Sonya, we'll see how it goes.

Kevin, you haven't seen Mr Budgen, have you?

No, why? What's he done?

I'm not in the mood for jokes, pet.

Sorry, is everything all right?

Well, it will be when I find my costings.

I was just hoping that he'd picked them up by mistake.

I'm just having one of those days today.

The maths is the easy part.

You look like you're stressed out

cos you've got stage fright or something.

Try taking some deep breaths.

-Bit of an expert, are you?

-Not exactly.

I learnt a thing or two from Chalky

when we were pitching Chalk and Cheese.

You've got to have faith in what you're selling.

Like you,

everybody knows you are Queen of the kitchens.

Now, you've just got to believe that yourself.

Thanks, Kevin.

Yay! Go, me!

-Where have you been?

-Sorry.

Where did you get all this extra info?

I did what you asked me to do, used my brain.

You're going to need to go through this with me.

We've got about five minutes, is that going to be long enough?

We can do this.

You know your stuff, Dad, just quote your figures and you'll be sorted.

Mmm!

That is sensational.

If we were deciding on taste alone, you'd be home and dry.

Now, where were we?

I was just saying that while I've built this business up from scratch,

I have plenty of experience dealing with high volume.

I know all about getting suppliers at rock-bottom prices,

and about the importance of keeping the customer happy.

Very impressive. Oh, and I love the webpage,

where pupils can view the menus the day before and suggest changes.

That was my son Naz's idea.

He's my right-hand man.

It's a strong bid. Thank you, Mr Haq.

Thank you, Miss Donnegan.

We would love to partner you at Waterloo Road.

Oh, well, I'll see you at lunchtime.

Very innovative thinking.

So far, none of our other bidders have thought about bringing samples.

Can't be much longer. He's been in there ages.

Really?

Yeah.

You'll be all right though, eh? Part of the furniture.

Mind you, she has been talking about changing that an' all lately.

Thanks again, Mr Haq.

Thank you.

You?!

You two know each other?

Now, this isn't a foreign language,

this is our language,

and today, we're going to claim it back.

So I want you to look through the text I've just given you,

find these words and write down what you think they mean.

In your pairs, please.

Dynasty...

Right up your street, this is.

-What?

-A language no-one understands.

I saw you, slobbering all over Liberty Gordon.

She doesn't understand your geek speak either, you know!

-Don't look so nervous.

-Sorry.

Means a lot to me, working here at Waterloo Road.

A hell of a lot.

Of course it does, but now you need to focus.

Tell me what kind of efficiencies you'd like to introduce.

Well, on the numbers, I think you'd be getting a good deal.

We're based solely in-house, so there's no overheads,

not taking any profits out. And, of course, I've got the experience.

Ah, experience is great, but only if you've been doing the right things.

Which we have. We've moved with the times.

Fresh food,

nutritional guidelines, low fat, low salt, low sugar.

We've ticked all the boxes.

You're not alone in that, of course.

-Really?

-You and Mr Haq

seem to have very similar ideas,

and almost identical costings.

I don't see how.

Years of experience has gone into that bid.

Yeah, I'm surprised too.

I know he had a lot of input from his son.

-He must have been keeping an eye on how you operate.

-Naz?

-Yeah.

He helped put their bid together.

I bet he did!

Excuse me...

Oh, and look at that!

His bid is just a little bit less than mine.

Miraculously, he's just undercut my pitch!

You need to calm down.

Can't you see that they're cheats?

My spreadsheet went missing this morning and now this explains it.

Right, so it's industrial espionage, is it?

It's not funny. This is my livelihood.

Mrs Budgen, I can see you're upset, but please don't blow this.

If you don't believe me, what chance have I got?

Maggie... No, Maggie wait a sec.

Maggie, wait a second.

Maggie, just wait a second.

Look, I know this process is very difficult for you,

but your know-how will stand you in good stead.

And my figures.

That other mob's got a hold of my sums, and I think I know how.

Well, who? I don't follow.

The Prince of Spices. They used my Rhiannon

to nick that spreadsheet.

Rhiannon Salt?

She's been sleeping with the owner's son.

What?

Nasir Haq, in her year.

Yeah, I know. Bright boy.

Yeah, he's bright, all right!

The pair of them are.

Like father, like son.

Do you have any proof?

One of my dinner ladies saw Rhiannon go into the dining room

just before the figures went missing,

and low and behold, guess what?

Usman Haq comes up with the exact same bid as me.

Minus a few quid, of course.

All right, well, let's go and find Rhiannon, see what

she has to say about it.

Mr Clarkson, can we have a quick word with Rhiannon, please?

Er, the rest of you, get on with your work.

Rhiannon?

I've done nothing wrong.

They've just been using you.

Wise up, you silly little girl!

He only slept with you so they could get at me.

That's quite enough, Mrs Budgen.

Rhiannon, please...

Rhiannon, step outside, please.

Naz, I never...

All right, show's over.

Get on with your work.

Right, now, Mrs Budgen tells me

you stole her figures to give to Nasir and his father.

Is that true?

Yeah, it's true.

You stole the figures?

Yeah.

I knew it. How could anybody stoop so low?

Using a young girl like that.

They didn't use me. It were my idea.

I stole your sheet from the dining room and gave it to Naz,

and that's the first he knew about it.

I still say she's protecting him. This is my livelihood

they're trying to cheat me out of here.

I think we can calm down about this now, OK?

I'll talk to Lorraine about it.

Rhiannon, I think it's best if

you spend the remainder of the period in the cooler.

Off you go.

-I'll let you know what Lorraine says, OK?

-Thanks.

'Sounds to me like Maggie might be running

'a bit of a dirty tricks' campaign.'

Don't look so shocked, it does happen.

-I just didn't think Maggie had it in her.

-I take it

you've already awarded Mr Haq the contract?

No, but I'm thinking about it.

Cheer up.

Any money we save is going straight into the teaching budget.

Fine, but as Head of this school,

I'd like to err on the side of caution.

-What are you saying?

-That I don't want anyone

from Prince of Spices working here yet. The whole process

-has been compromised.

-It's a bit late for that.

-He's already in the kitchens.

-What?

Mr Haq. Free taster meals, it was part of his pitch.

Well, how do you think Maggie'll react to that?

This is my workplace!

Lorraine has given me permission.

And I have dinners to prepare.

-Then go prepare them.

-you might have nicked my figures,

but you're not nicking my kitchen.

You need to see a psychiatrist, lady.

My son came up with those figures, it was a fair fight,

and by your attitude, it's one I think you know you've already lost.

Is that how you carry on, then,

using a young girl

to do your dirty work?

-What young girl?

-The one your son slept with to get my figures!

This is just fantasy. If our bid's the best,

it's because my son and I understand the business.

Go and serve your muck somewhere else!

Ah, ah, ah!

Will someone please tell her I have permission to be here?

Mr Haq, I'm afraid an accusation has been made as to how the tender was conducted.

-Thank you.

-Ah...

So until I've had a chance to investigate this matter fully,

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave the kitchen.

What accusation?

Well, it seems like your son and a fellow pupil of his conspired

to steal some documents from Mrs Budgen.

You know what, she's lying. I know my son.

What, so I can't serve my food now?

I've prepared hundreds of pounds' worth of stock.

I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do about it.

It's back over to you again, Maggie.

So, does this mean I've got the contract, then?

No, it does not. I appreciate your passion, Mrs Budgen,

but your attitude has left a lot to be desired.

I'm seriously thinking about putting the whole contract out to tender again.

Happy now?

SHE MOUTHS

Ah, thanks for all your help.

-What do you mean?

-I've just been humiliated in there.

They're saying that you're sleeping with that girl,

and they're also saying that those figures I used

were stolen from that crazy dinner lady.

Just tell me what happened.

YOU have cost us the contract, that's what happened,

and the only silver lining is that

that Budgen woman didn't get it either.

How could you do this?

We were running out of time.

I was doing that bid during my classes.

Why is the pressure always on me?

Because this is a family business. YOUR family business.

-Well, you can stick it!

-What?

I don't want to serve kebabs to drunk neds seven days a week.

No, thanks. I want to go to uni.

University?

It's what I want, Dad.

What YOU want?

And haven't I always done my best for you, always?

Right.

Well, I suppose I'd better go and get our...

sorry, MY wasted food.

So we had sex, then? Funny how I don't remember!

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that stuff.

-So why did you?

-I felt left out.

They were all talking about all the guys they've been with.

-You don't know what it's like.

-You think?

I liked you, Rhiannon, really liked you, but maybe I got you all wrong.

I made a mistake, that's all.

Me too.

Oh, and my dad's dead chuffed about losing the contract(!)

So did Maggie get it?

No. Her bid was chucked out as well.

So neither of us got it.

Nice work, Rhiannon(!)

That's 20, 40, 60.

End of the week, yeah?

You busy?

Too busy.

How come?

Because when I'm this busy, I don't have time to chase up

the naughty people who don't pay!

I can...help you, if you like?

Well, I don't like.

Sorry.

Hey, Connor! Check out this one that I found.

It's dead cheap.

-Not cheap enough.

-What are you talking about?

-It's a bargain for a van like that.

-Not if you're skint.

Forget it, I wish I'd never seen the stupid thing.

Rhiannon?

I don't blame you wanting to scarper, but can we talk?

Just get out of my face.

Is this the thanks I get, is it?

After everything I've done for you?

What? Sticking your nose in?

Embarrassing me in front of all my mates?

Losing me my job? Yeah, thanks for that(!)

A few hours working in a kebab shop and a teenage crush

hardly stacks up against somebody losing their entire livelihood,

does it? Mmm? Why did you do it?

I love this place

and your stupid little stunt has just ruined it all.

Stupid stunt?

Naz is the first guy to pay me any attention.

He likes me and I like him, but I've lost that now, thanks to you.

Rhiannon, man, get real!

He only went with you

so that him and his dad could pinch my job!

You're wrong! You know nothing about Naz.

I've never met anyone like him before.

You don't know what you're talking about, pet.

Not that ignorance is any excuse for what you've done today.

I will never understand why you did it.

I just hope you're happy.

So she just offered you a job?

Aren't you a bit over-qualified?

Well, yes, but at least I can pay my way now, Audrey.

If that's what you really want.

Very quiet in here today.

Do you remember that restaurant in Kasungu?

We were the only people there.

Ah, love's young dream!

Let's give them some space.

Don't mind if I join you?

We were just reminiscing about a beautiful meal we had

-under the stars in a nature reserve in Malawi.

-Oh...

-Pass the sauce.

-Actually, this is more like our night on safari,

with the jackals circling the camp.

We could feel their eyes on us, couldn't we?

A lot of gossip and innuendo.

You know something?

I'm tired of it.

Let's see what they make of this.

GIGGLING

Good on 'em.

Well, I'll say this - if you're going to get yourself

a toy boy, make sure it's a good one!

I hear you're looking to buy a motor.

Yeah, like he's going to buy one from you!

Do one!

He's right, I wouldn't buy anything off you.

I'm not selling. Just offering to lend you the money.

No, thanks. Not going to happen.

Never say never, Connor,

mate.

Miss Salt?

I believe you and Mrs Budgen have had words.

She hates me.

Mrs Budgen doesn't hate anybody.

She's had a lot to deal with lately,

what, with me and my failing vital organs.

But you're on that machine,

and then you'll get fixed up with a new kidney.

Alas, they're not that easy to come by.

Well, what happens if you don't find one?

Then I shuffle off this mortal coil,

and she's not finding that easy.

You've both been dead good to me and now I've ruined everything.

Act in haste,

repent at leisure.

Oh, you know, I'd really like it if you could make up.

-I'll try.

-Hmm.

Ah, William Wordsworth.

Are you a devotee?

"My heart leaps up and I behold a rainbow in the sky

"So was it when my life began

"So is it now I am a man

"So be it when I shall grow old...

"..Or let me die."

I've got to go. Thanks, Mr Budgen.

Mrs Mulgrew?

Welcome, Miss Boston, please, find yourself a seat.

-Thank you.

-Your feedback will be really useful,

especially on the class dynamic and how well they're engaging.

The Romans were great orators,

but we have had our own brilliant public speakers.

Think of Churchill.

"We will fight them on the beaches!"

Thanks, Kevin. I take it that's you volunteering to go first?

Good. Now, remember,

speak with feeling, from the heart.

I want you to move us with your rhetoric.

Er, Rhiannon...

Me and Naz never slept together.

I were lying when I said we did.

-Rhiannon, do you mind?

-I just imagined it all in my head.

Cos I've never done it before and everybody else has,

-and I just said it to shut 'em up.

-SNIGGERING

What a total sad case!

No, you're the sad case!

Come on, that's enough. Everybody, calm down.

-Nasir, Rhiannon, off to the cooler.

-Why us?

Just do it. You clearly have some things to sort out.

Thanks for sticking up for me.

I've totally screwed up.

Your dad's shop might have to shut and Maggie's going to lose her job.

I thought you didn't care about her.

I were wrong, as usual.

Mr Budgen's ill. I mean, really ill.

That's why she's been freaking out.

He might die, and if she loses her job at the kitchen,

they'll have no money and she'll have no-one.

Poor guy.

I don't know what my dad will do now.

I just wish they both could have won.

Maybe we can still sort this mess out.

Really?

KNOCK ON DOOR

Come in.

-Mr Budgen?

-Do you have a minute?

Sure.

I know that the world is a brutal and hard-nosed place,

but all I'm asking for is a bit of compassion.

I'm nowhere near making any decisions on the future of the English department.

I wasn't talking about the English department, no.

I'm sure you know that that's in very safe hands.

Erm, Mrs Budgen?

The beating heart of the school.

Irreplaceable, I'd call her.

It's an old cliche, but no-one's irreplaceable.

Her pitch was actually very good,

until she let her emotions get the better of her.

But if the worst comes to the worst, she can always tender again.

In two years' time.

Two years?

It's unlikely to be much use to me.

How many crinkle-cut chips have we served up here?

I love this place. I'm really going to miss it.

I don't want another row.

I haven't come for one.

Honestly, Maggie, I'm really sorry about the contract.

I was only trying to do the right thing.

I was worried, cos I care about you.

Me and Naz have an idea.

-Oh...

-He's done nothing wrong, Maggie.

When I stayed over there last night, we played computer games

and then I slept in the spare room.

-You still should've rung.

-I know.

I wanted to show that I weren't a kid,

by pretending I'd been with Naz, but it was stupid...

..and I hurt the ones I care about.

What's this idea of yours, then?

We think we know a way to get Miss Donnegan to give you the contract.

Well...

..this is a pleasant surprise.

You get the best of both worlds.

His wholesale contacts

and my day-to-day expertise.

Between us, we do cover a lot of bases.

You're sure you two can actually work together

without coming to blows?

Of course.

I'm a very easy person to get along with.

Yeah, and she never actually hit me with her ladle.

I really appreciate you

putting this bid together at such short notice.

And, in truth, you two were the stand-out candidates...

..but...

Well, that wasn't exactly the result we expected.

She liked the bid, but awarded Maggie the contract.

Hang on...

Meet my new supplier here.

Prince of Spices!

I'm pretty sure Maggie and I are going to make a great team,

so thank you.

I'm really going to miss you when you go to university.

No way, I'll be cutting costs and living at home.

Well, we got there in the end. Thanks, pet.

Now we just need to get Mr Budgen sorted.

Look, I know he's really ill, but he'll be OK with you around.

You're good at getting stuff done.

You just get stuck right in.

Excuse me, everybody...

Sorry to bother you.

This isn't a very easy thing for me to ask you.

I can't believe I'm doing it, actually.

Getting that contract and staying on here means a lot to me,

but none of it is going to matter a jot

if Grantly isn't here to share it with us,

which is why I've come here on his behalf.

Now, he'd never ask you, but I'm going to.

He needs that transplant as soon as possible,

because the longer he waits, the less chance he has of making it.

Now, I've offered myself, but they've knocked us back, so...

what I'm asking you is...

..would any of you be prepared to be a donor?

I know it's a lot to ask, but he's a good man.

Think about it.

Thanks for hearing us out.

Poor Grantly.

Do you like it?

I guess.

I told the seller I had a mate interested.

Me? I can't afford it.

I'm going to do you a really good deal.

Connor, is this yours?

Oh, it's great, isn't it? Just imagine -

romantic nights under the stars,

just the two of you. And you can escape this place

-whenever you want to.

-It's brilliant.

-Can I take a look inside?

-Yeah.

Aw, she's got her little heart set on it.

And my repayments aren't bad either.

100 a week.

I can't afford that.

OK, well, we can make it 50.

You'll be paying a bit more interest.

HORN BEEPS

Oh, someone's excited! Better not keep the lady waiting.

I have to say it,

that is one hell of a physique.

Yeah, he is quite fit.

She can keep him.

He ain't my bag.

Me, neither.

Hey! So? Give me the headline notes.

Well, someone's tipped them off that they were being observed.

Christine practically had a welcome mat out.

Not to worry, I expect Michael had a quiet word.

So, what did you find out?

Well, there's definitely things we can improve.

Under-subscribed classes are also an issue. History, especially.

Listen, why don't you meet me back at mine,

tell me the rest then? I'm going to have to go and see Michael,

-reassure him that his little kingdom isn't falling apart.

-OK.

Oh, Nikki?

Thanks.

Apparently, you still cut it in the classroom.

Presumably, she thought the same about everyone else?

It's a good standard, but I still want everything on the table,

including our approach to teaching.

I'll handle our approach to teaching.

I need to know exactly what kind of changes you have in mind,

particularly after today's catering debacle.

That wasn't a debacle.

That was the market in action. It's exactly what we need.

You...actually think that?

People upped their game, didn't they?

Look at Maggie.

The new catering contract is 20% less than last year.

Michael, I hope that you can accept that this is the way forward.

-Hello, flower.

-Hiya, is Mr Budgen around?

Ah, you've come for your special lesson, have you?

I hear he's been teaching you his Queen's Gambit.

I bet you wouldn't have picked me as being a chess nerd, would you?

Oh, I don't know. You're a bright spark.

But I'm afraid your quest is going to have to wait

because the Grand Master is, er, well, he's having a bit of a nap.

We've had quite the day.

I'll just head off.

-Hey, are you stalking me?

-In your dreams!

You know, I was thinking, Michael,

why don't I invite Connor and Imogen to join us for a meal tonight?

Give us a chance to discuss the new...living arrangements.

Well, as long as she goes home.

OK, if that's how it has to be.

All right, well, I suppose the extra hands

will make light work with the unpacking.

Look, I've got a couple more things to do here, so I'll be a bit late.

See you at home?

(At home.)

Are you and your mates cool now?

They'll get over it.

You know, it's kind of a pity that what you said wasn't true.

About us being together.

You mean...

together, like...?

-PHONE RINGS

-I mean, erm, together...

..like, together.

RINGING CONTINUES

# Please don't say you love me... #

'Hi, this is Prince of Spices.

'I'm sorry, but we're busy at the moment, so please try again later.'

And we have...

MACHINE BEEPS

..power.

Budge up, Mr Budgen!

Well, you're not...coming in.

Yes, I am. Just you, me...

and the lovely Diane.

Like you said, we're going to face this together.

But...

..I am not going to listen to that racket.

It's actually quite a quiet machine.

Not the machine, your snoring!

# ..Please don't say you love me

# Cos I might not say it back

# Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping

# When you look at me like that

# There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at

# Just please don't say you love me

# Cos I might not say it back. #

Grantly, man, stop hogging the bed.

Grantly...

Grantly...

Grantly! Oh, my God!

You coming to watch me in the chess tournament?

You kidding me?

Dynasty Barry playing chess? That'll be the laugh of the century!

Oh, get real. You're just a bimbo,

and everybody knows bimbos don't play chess.

LAUGHTER

But we need to reduce staff expenditure by at least 20%.

You mean redundancies?

That's precisely what we're trying to avoid.

You're ashamed of me, aren't you?

No.

It's great having a little sister who's a boy(!)

We make quite a good team, eh?

Your brains, my body. It's perfect.

You can resign, if you want!

You're not that good.

Stevo!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd