Pryd o Sêr Pêl-droed

-*

-# La Marseillaise #

-# June is upon us

-# And the Euros are looming #

-Welcome to

-the home of Welsh football.

-Here to entertain us this evening

-is the lovely Elin Fflur.

-Also keeping us company

-are Frenchman Francis Dupuy...

-..poet Rhys Iorwerth...

-..and our supporters from Wales,

-Russia, Slovakia and England.

-A warm welcome...

-..to an alternative

-football edition of Pryd o Ser.

-# Mon Dieu! What a journey

-# To savour only the once

-# All roads

-# From Monmouth to Anglesey

-# Lead to France, with me in tow #

-Tonight, the culinary world

-meets the soccer world.

-Please welcome

-Wales coach Osian Roberts...

-..former Wales centre-forward

-Gwennan Harries...

-..reigning Pryd o Ser Champion

-Owain Tudur Jones...

-..and Eleri Sion.

-I don't know

-what you're doing here...

-..because you're associated more

-with rugby.

-Osh, the Welsh supporters

-have something to show you.

-I hope we see

-more of those shirts along the way.

-Hope so.

-On the table in front of you

-are the ingredients you'll need...

-..to create four tasty dishes.

-You have half an hour.

-Your time starts now.

-Oh, no.

-Oh, no.

-

-What a joke. Jacket potato!

-The men are in shock.

-It's not something

-I see in front of me often.

-See that pitch behind me?

-That's what I normally see.

-I have no idea. I don't know.

-I just don't know!

-Owain must prepare a loin of lamb...

-..with a red currant sauce

-and creamy potatoes...

-..while Osian must prepare

-salmon and sesame seeds...

-..on a bed of pancetta cabbage.

-..on a bed of pancetta cabbage.

-

-Your ingredients are different.

-Are all our ingredients different?

-Are all our ingredients different?

-

-The women are also in the dark.

-(BLEEP!)

-I'm not sure if that's beef or not.

-It looks like lamb to me.

-The women must prepare

-an Eastern European dish.

-A beef stroganoff for Gwennan...

-..and a goulash for Eleri Sion.

-Do you think they realize that?

-You don't know

-if it's beef or lamb?

-Because of the colour.

-Because of the colour.

-

-Feel it.

-Feels like lamb to me.

-Feels like lamb to me.

-

-We'll see how you do with the lamb.

-I was going to make steak and chips.

-How will you make chips?

-How will you make chips?

-

-Fry them in fat.

-What fat?

-What fat?

-

-Good question.

-Which continental dishes...

-..contain paprika?

-Have a think while you prepare.

-Have a think while you prepare.

-

-I've no

-(BLEEP!)

-idea.

-You're back with us. Why?

-You're back with us. Why?

-

-I have no idea why.

-You won the last series.

-I don't know how

-because do you remember this?

-I'm going to wing it. It's worked

-for me so far, so why change?

-That's how it's meant to be. Crispy.

-Who doesn't like crispy salmon?

-The person who's stood out...

-..is Owain.

-You were marginally better

-than the other two footballers...

-..we've had on Pryd o Ser,

-so take a look at them.

-Hello, Nia!

-These are already dead.

-No, they're not. Ooh!

-I wanted it to be dead!

-Argh, it's on my foot!

-It's broken my toes!

-Do you know what I think of that?

-We had less fuss with you.

-We had less fuss with you.

-

-Better than Malcolm?

-Much better.

-You've seen your opponents today.

-Do you think you're going to win?

-Do you think you're going to win?

-

-I don't know. I'll wing it again.

-It worked last time.

-Are the players nowadays...

-..more sensible than Malcs and Iwan?

-Football has changed.

-Players

-have to look after themselves...

-..and conduct

-themselves professionally.

-Do they follow a special diet?

-Do they follow a special diet?

-

-Yes, they have to eat healthily.

-Do you stick to the same diet?

-It's a little too late for me,

-I'm afraid.

-This might help.

-The clock's ticking.

-Better crack on.

-Joining us tonight

-is Francis Dupuy...

-..owner of Chez Francis.

-Bonjour. Ca va?

-Oui. Bienvenue.

-Oui. Bienvenue.

-

-Merci. Tu es gentille.

-As a Frenchman, what can the Welsh

-expect when they're in France...

-..for the coming month, hopefully?

-The best food and wine

-in the world...

-..and the world's

-best football team.

-I'm not so sure about that, Francis.

-You're going to help Dudley

-judge the dishes later on.

-No problem.

-Would you like to try one of these?

-These are snails.

-These are snails.

-

-We don't want to be stereotypical!

-They're very tasty.

-They're French delicacies.

-A little snail.

-Delicious.

-Delicious.

-

-Frogs' legs?

-No, thanks.

-Tastes like chicken.

-I'm going to ask the roast beef team

-what they think of the food.

-Do you like the snails?

-Yes. Very nice.

-I'd better explain

-that all our supporters...

-..understand every word...

-..thanks to

-the translating equipment.

-Let me prove it to you.

-Who here

-thinks that England is amazing?

-Yes, England is amazing.

-OK. And who here comes from England?

-Yes. London.

-London Town.

-It works perfectly.

-Let's see how it works

-with the Eastern European crew.

-Are you enjoying the food?

-Since the four countries are here...

-..we thought we'd hold

-a European championship of our own.

-Here's what happened.

-No matter

-which French pursuit they try...

-..our fans want to win.

-I want to slaughter the lot of them.

-I want to slaughter the lot of them.

-

-Slovakia!

-If we win today,

-Russia'll win the 2016 Euros.

-Wales forever!

-England expects.

-England against Russia

-in the first round.

-Rooney and Aleksandr Kokorin

-are on fire.

-Four goals apiece.

-Winner takes all.

-Russia's through to the final...

-..and everyone's happy

-about England's defeat.

-Another close game

-between Slovakia and Wales.

-The dragon is defeated.

-Eastern Europe

-is through to the final.

-Slovakia against Russia.

-Another incredibly close match

-but Russia reigns supreme.

-Next, it's boules.

-The aim is to get the large balls as

-close as possible to the small ball.

-Easier said than done.

-Surprisingly,

-after four rounds, Wales win.

-Time for the grand final. Cycling.

-But not regular cycling -

-tandem cycling.

-Wales and Russia get a head start

-for their earlier victories.

-On your marks, get set...!

-Which country will win?

-We'll find out later.

-The supporters are on fire...

-..while our celebs

-run the risk of getting burnt.

-What are you going to make?

-What are you going to make?

-

-I'm going to throw it all in.

-I'd rather try yours than mine

-at the end!

-I hope you've got

-the day off tomorrow.

-Do you know what it is?

-Pork?

-Pork?

-

-Pork? Interesting. No.

-Beef?

-Beef?

-

-No. Carry on.

-Lamb?

-Lamb?

-

-Third time lucky!

-Can I just say

-that he's won Pryd o Ser...

-..so he should have an idea

-about what's going on.

-Do we have to cook everything?

-Do we have to cook everything?

-

-Cook what you like.

-Do I have to use this and this?

-There might be a few ingredients

-that shouldn't be there.

-You're doing better than Owain.

-He's just standing there, panicking.

-At least he knows what he's doing.

-Do you know what you're doing?

-Do you know what you're doing?

-

-No, I'm not sure, to be honest.

-Do you do much cooking?

-Do you do much cooking?

-

-No, especially not like this.

-Is injury time added on at the end?

-Is injury time added on at the end?

-

-No. No penalty shootouts either.

-Get it ready on time. Good luck.

-When do these go in?

-When do these go in?

-

-Do they go in at all?

-(BLEEP!)

-This side is OK

-but I'm worried about these two.

-I'm worried about

-the Pryd o Ser Champion.

-Oh, my god, ginger!

-I'm a bit unsure,

-so I'm going to chuck everything in.

-What are you adding to the water?

-Nothing at the moment.

-I have no idea what I'm doing.

-You know what's happening.

-It's deja vu. You've burnt it!

-What are you doing, Eleri?

-I don't know what I'm doing.

-I've got my own problems.

-Stick to your own.

-You've reached halfway.

-There's no half-time for this lot...

-..but we'll see you after the break.

-# Come on, come on

-# Wales

-# Come on, come on

-# Wales #

-.

-*

-# Cancan Music #

-Welcome back.

-While you were away, this is what's

-been happening in the kitchen.

-Pryd o Ser current champion Owain...

-..must cook loin of lamb,

-creamy potatoes and sauce.

-I'm not sure which part

-of the recipe contains apple.

-Osian is in control as he prepares

-salmon and sesame seeds...

-..on a bed of pancetta cabbage.

-I need a sub here!

-I need a sub here!

-

-Eleri's meant to prepare goulash.

-What on earth

-is she doing with oranges?

-This is the worst thing I could've

-had. I never cook steak. Never.

-Former centre-forward Gwennan

-Harries prepares beef stroganoff.

-There's less than 10 minutes to go.

-Are you cutting it? It cooks

-a lot quicker if you cut it.

-You already know what happens...

-..when time's running out.

-Mam always puts that in the gravy.

-Not all of it!

-How are you doing?

-I hope you've killed it.

-I've forgotten to add these.

-I've forgotten to add these.

-

-You're making stew now, are you?

-I don't know what I'm making.

-This looks interesting.

-Yes, it does.

-You rarely see dishes like this.

-You can try it later.

-You can try it later.

-

-No, you're OK, I'll let them try it!

-If you don't know what you're doing,

-at least look as if you do.

-I've been doing that for many years!

-The sauce doesn't taste very nice.

-Shambles!

-Our fans have been busy.

-We've asked them to predict

-the outcome of the group stages.

-Wales will obviously finish

-top of the group.

-England is at the bottom.

-Rhys, you've been busy writing us

-a poem. Stand up to read it.

-The time has come

-to parade our banners

-And head to the frontline

-Our dragons

-will rise from the flames

-Since the fun of the Euros awaits us

-For a change, Wales will be given

-an hour of freedom to yell.

-I'm going to give that to Osian

-as a parting gift.

-On to Russia. They've put

-their home nation at the top.

-England is at the bottom once again.

-Never mind. I know you have

-some questions for our chefs.

-Who'll ask the first question?

-If you could play

-for one of the other teams...

-..would you choose

-England, Slovakia or Russia?

-I'd have pulled a hamstring

-and been out due to injury.

-I'd go for England.

-Boo!

-Boo!

-

-It was a joke.

-Let's move on to Slovakia. They've

-also put themselves at the top.

-I'm seeing a pattern emerging.

-I'm feeling a little uneasy.

-England are on the bottom.

-Never mind. What's your question?

-Do you think Wales,

-with Bale, Williams and Ramsey...

-..can beat Slovakia

-with Skrtel, Hamsik and Weiss?

-They have good players, especially

-Hamsik, who captains Napoli.

-He's having a great season. The

-battle in midfield will be crucial.

-Moving on to England. Fair play,

-they've put themselves at the top.

-Wales is in second place.

-Thank you for that.

-You may ask one question.

-Can Wales beat England or

-any other team without Gareth Bale?

-The question is,

-can England beat Wales with Bale?

-Thanks for the questions

-and answers.

-It's now time to reveal...

-..the winners

-of the supporters' grand trophy.

-On your marks, get set...!

-Russia and Wales get a head start

-after their earlier performances.

-Wales are winning ground

-and take the lead.

-But something's gone wrong.

-Every country

-overtakes the Red Dragon...

-..and it's victory for Russia.

-We were in the lead. Oh, come on!

-We were decent!

-THEY SPEAK RUSSIAN

-What was that, Wales?

-Hopeless. You should be ashamed.

-Congratulations, Russia. Fittingly,

-we've got yellow T-shirts for you.

-Wear them with pride.

-Five minutes to go and some

-of the chefs are in a right pickle.

-It's disgusting.

-I didn't burn it.

-Look at it. Would you eat that?

-Listen up! Osian's finished.

-Well done, Osh.

-Well done, Osh.

-

-Thank you.

-The only win I'll ever achieve!

-What are you doing? Jenga?

-Do you want to put some

-on the top too?

-It looks stupid. How much time

-do I have? Two minutes. Right.

-The lamb looks nice.

-The lamb looks nice.

-

-I've worked out it's beef now!

-I forgot the garlic. And those!

-Oh, my god, disaster!

-Oh, my god, disaster!

-

-Looks like a takeaway...

-..that's fallen over in the car!

-10, nine...

-..eight, seven, six...

-..five, four, three...

-..two, one!

-Never again. Never again.

-Osian and Owain,

-can you serve your dishes, please?

-I'd eat at your restaurant, Osh,

-because your portions are big.

-Value for money.

-Value for money.

-

-Is that enough?

-As a starter, perhaps.

-As a starter, perhaps.

-

-It's fine dining, gents.

-It's not overdone.

-It's not overdone.

-

-It's cooked perfectly.

-I can taste the salmon,

-sesame seeds, bacon and cabbage.

-For someone who claims

-he doesn't cook and can't cook...

-..there's

-very little wrong with this.

-What's the sauce?

-I was trying to be fancy,

-to be honest.

-I was trying to impress.

-I was trying to impress.

-

-The meat isn't cooked enough.

-You were given

-the best part of the lamb, the loin.

-It doesn't take long to cook

-but it needs longer than this.

-Here are your plates. Off you go.

-What's happened here, Eleri?

-A virus?

-It looks like something

-after a virus!

-This looks dry, Gwennan.

-I've got no excuses.

-I've got no excuses.

-

-Let's try this accident first.

-What's your sauce?

-I haven't tried it before.

-I haven't tried it before.

-

-You haven't?

-No. It was an experiment.

-No. It was an experiment.

-

-Don't try it again.

-I like your mash.

-There's a lot of butter in it.

-Well done.

-I haven't had a steak

-with orange on it before.

-It was in front of me

-so I thought I'd include it.

-Do you do that with everything?

-Do you do that with everything?

-

-Usually. I waste nothing.

-What do you think

-of the flavour, Francis?

-Have you used pepper?

-Have you used pepper?

-

-A little.

-You can't taste it at all.

-It's a little dry. Very dry.

-Do you want that?

-I will, once I get rid of this.

-Cheers!

-You overcooked this...

-..and cooked it in the sauce.

-When you boil good meat in sauce,

-you dry it out.

-It's time to decide.

-I've already made up my mind.

-OK.

-Elin Fflur, you've enjoyed watching

-this lot panicking in the kitchen.

-It's nice to sit back

-and not have to do that.

-I feel for them.

-I feel for them.

-

-You did some panicking of your own.

-Do you remember this?

-Focus.

-Aargh!

-That wasn't difficult, was it?

-Aarrrgh!

-Have you farted?

-Bocco-nin-kini?

-Kini?

-Something in a bikini?

-Well...

-I have to ask you,

-do you know anything about football?

-Not much, but

-I have two brothers and a husband...

-..who are obsessed with football,

-so I know a little.

-I support Everton, which means

-I don't know much! And Wales too!

-We'll hear

-another song from you later...

-..but I think Dudley's ready

-with the result.

-There can only be one winner.

-And that person is...

-..Osian - congratulations.

-Sorry, but you have to wear it.

-How do you feel now?

-I feel much better now

-because I can relax.

-It was very tense, I must admit.

-Hopefully the luck will continue

-during the Euros.

-I hope so.

-Thank you all for competing

-and being good sports.

-We'll leave you with Elin Fflur

-singing Rhys Iorwerth's version...

-..of the classic

-Je Ne Regrette Rien by Edith Piaf.

-Thank you for watching. Goodnight.

-# O, and you too, Osian

-# Mes amies, take us to Paris

-# Take me with you

-# Glyndwr

-# And Llywelyn, I'm sure

-# O, to dream such a dream

-# Uttering, "Wales, c'est bon!"

-# Wine and baguettes

-# Shouting in our hats

-# Red eyes, hoarse throats

-# But where there are voices

-# We'll sing out loud

-# O, beloved Wales

-# We're singing our hearts out

-# Despite all the woes on the field

-# Tonight

-we're a step closer to France

-# Oh-oh-oh-oh #

-S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.

-.