A Christmas Carol Goes Wrong
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
CHURCH BELL TOLLS | 0:00:19 | 0:00:22 | |
Bah! | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
Humbug! | 0:00:29 | 0:00:30 | |
CLOCK CHIMES | 0:00:30 | 0:00:33 | |
Hush, confounded chimes! | 0:00:33 | 0:00:36 | |
Wherever I go, all I see is this clock, staring back at me. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:43 | |
No good in funerals. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:47 | |
Marley wouldn't have approved, himself. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:51 | |
Waste of money! | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
Waste of time! | 0:00:53 | 0:00:55 | |
Hey! Hey! | 0:00:55 | 0:00:57 | |
-Oh! -Get off! | 0:00:57 | 0:01:00 | |
-All right, everyone out. -Who are you? | 0:01:00 | 0:01:03 | |
Head of the BBC. | 0:01:03 | 0:01:04 | |
-That was a Twix. -Get out! | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
All right. Plan B it is. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
-Coats. -Yes! | 0:01:13 | 0:01:14 | |
-What are you doing? -You said I'd be taking over as Scrooge. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:20 | |
No, I'm playing Scrooge, that's why I've got the notes. | 0:01:20 | 0:01:22 | |
You're playing the Ghost Of Christmas Yet To Come. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:24 | |
He doesn't have any lines. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:25 | |
The cast said they'd walk if you played Scrooge! | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
What, the whole cast?! I'm the leading actor! | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
No, you're the worst actor in the company. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Aww! | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
Auntie Diana, you promised. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:36 | |
Just hurry up. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
Well, you'll have to do it over the phone, then. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
-Annie. Annie! -What? What? | 0:01:40 | 0:01:41 | |
-I can't remember any of my lines. -Again?! | 0:01:41 | 0:01:43 | |
It's the nerves. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:44 | |
Come with me. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:45 | |
-What if you become ill? -I won't! | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
What if you get injured? | 0:01:47 | 0:01:48 | |
I would have to be completely incapacitated to pull out now. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:51 | |
-THOUGHTFULLY: -Really? | 0:01:56 | 0:01:57 | |
ALL SHOUTING | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
Give it here. Just stop, stop! | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
Good evening, BBC viewers. Unfortunately, | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
the cast of A Christmas Carol have all been taken ill. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:11 | |
SHOUTING, FEEDBACK. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:12 | |
But don't worry, the Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society | 0:02:12 | 0:02:16 | |
happened to be passing by, and will be filling in, | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
with special guest narrator, Sandra's aunt, Dame Diana Rigg. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:23 | |
Please enjoy A Christmas Carol. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
CHURCH BELL TOLLS | 0:02:45 | 0:02:47 | |
Bah. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:08 | |
Humbug! | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
MUFFLED CLOCK CHIMES | 0:03:10 | 0:03:11 | |
Hush, confounded chimes! | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
Everywhere I go, all I see is that damn clock. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:25 | |
Everywhere I go... | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
..all I see... | 0:03:29 | 0:03:31 | |
..is that damn clock... | 0:03:32 | 0:03:35 | |
..staring back at me! | 0:03:35 | 0:03:36 | |
Ha! | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
No good in funerals, anyhow. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
Marley wouldn't approve, himself. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:47 | |
Waste of money. Waste of time. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:50 | |
Marley was dead to begin with. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:58 | |
There was no doubt whatever about that. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
The register of his burial was signed by the solemn undertaker, | 0:04:11 | 0:04:17 | |
and of course, the only mourner, his partner, Mr Scrooge. | 0:04:17 | 0:04:22 | |
HE GRUNTS | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
HE GRUNTS | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
HE SPLUTTERS | 0:04:48 | 0:04:50 | |
Auntie Diana, you're on. Go! | 0:04:59 | 0:05:01 | |
On Christmas Eve, Scrooge walked into his counting house. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:05 | |
He was a tight-fisted hand on the grindstone, | 0:05:05 | 0:05:08 | |
a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping covetous old sinner, | 0:05:08 | 0:05:14 | |
who was as hard as flint. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:17 | |
The weather was biting, | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
but cold and heat had little influence on Scrooge. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:23 | |
No warmth could warm him. | 0:05:24 | 0:05:27 | |
No wintry weather could chill him. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:29 | |
No wind that blew was bitterer than he. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:33 | |
Get off! | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
Stop it! Stop it! Stop! | 0:05:36 | 0:05:39 | |
-PUNCH -Ow! | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
There was not a man, woman, or child in London | 0:05:42 | 0:05:46 | |
who chose to walk close to Scrooge in the street. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:50 | |
-Oh! -Get off! | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
Get off! | 0:05:52 | 0:05:53 | |
But as long as he was able to go about his business with thrift, | 0:05:53 | 0:05:57 | |
and count his coins, what did Scrooge care? | 0:05:57 | 0:06:00 | |
Merry Christmas, Mr Scrooge. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:07 | |
Oh! | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
Merry Christmas, Uncle. God save you. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:14 | |
Bah, humbug. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:16 | |
Christmas, a humbug? | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
Uncle, och, you don't mean that, I'm sure. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:21 | |
I do, Frances. What's Christmas but another time | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
to find yourself a year older, and not an hour richer? | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
Every idiot who goes about with "Merry Christmas" on his lips | 0:06:27 | 0:06:31 | |
should be boiled in his own pudding, | 0:06:31 | 0:06:33 | |
-and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. -Oh! | 0:06:33 | 0:06:36 | |
Wipe that stupid smile from your face. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:38 | |
I have every reason to smile, Uncle, and make merry at this time of year. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:42 | |
What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:46 | |
What reason have you to be dismal? You're rich enough. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
What else can I be while I live in such a world of fools as this? | 0:06:49 | 0:06:53 | |
Why is one a fool for wishing her uncle a Merry Christmas? | 0:06:53 | 0:06:57 | |
-Because it does you no good. -Does me no good? | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
It is the one time in the long calendar of the year | 0:06:59 | 0:07:03 | |
when men and women can open their shut-up hearts freely, | 0:07:03 | 0:07:08 | |
and hold out their hands to those below them as their true companions. | 0:07:08 | 0:07:14 | |
Fine speech, Frances. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:15 | |
You belong in Parliament. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:16 | |
Christmas, Uncle, | 0:07:16 | 0:07:17 | |
though it has never put a scrap of gold in my pocket, has done me good, | 0:07:17 | 0:07:21 | |
and will do me good, and I say God bless it. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
Miss Frances. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:29 | |
What a pleasure it is to see you. | 0:07:33 | 0:07:35 | |
Well, Merry Christmas, Bob Cratchit. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
A Merry Christmas to you, too! | 0:07:37 | 0:07:40 | |
We hear a knock at the door. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
KNOCK AT DOOR | 0:07:43 | 0:07:45 | |
Oh, a knock at the door! | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
Oh, that must be the lovely couple raising money for the orphanage. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
What merry, bold and charitable souls they are. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr Scrooge or Mr Marley? | 0:07:55 | 0:08:00 | |
Mr Marley died seven years ago this very day. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:04 | |
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
We're raising money for the orphanage | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
to care for the sickly and make provision for the poor, | 0:08:08 | 0:08:11 | |
like young Jane, here. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:13 | |
-On the shelf, Bugsworth. -Yes, Mr Scrooge. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:15 | |
Ah! Merry Christmas, Miss Frances. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:17 | |
And to you. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:19 | |
Ah, let me help you, Mr Scrooge. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:27 | |
Oh, no! | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
He's completely incapacitated. Don't worry, I'll step in. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:32 | |
-I'm fine! -Humbug! | 0:08:32 | 0:08:34 | |
Get out, Bugsworth! | 0:08:34 | 0:08:36 | |
What shall I put you down for, Mr Scrooge? | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
-Nothing. -You wish to be anonymous? | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
I wish to be left alone and keep my money. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:49 | |
What would you want for the needy? | 0:08:49 | 0:08:50 | |
That they should die and decrease the surplus population! | 0:08:50 | 0:08:54 | |
I have not much in my coin-purse. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
Fear not, Mr Cratchit. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
You are poorer than most. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
But what little I have...you are welcome to. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:08 | |
I'm afraid there is only a single penny I have saved. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:11 | |
You would part with your only coin? | 0:09:13 | 0:09:15 | |
Yes! | 0:09:19 | 0:09:21 | |
Do you not need it for your family? | 0:09:23 | 0:09:26 | |
No. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:29 | |
Thank you, Mr Cratchit. | 0:09:31 | 0:09:32 | |
You'd give all you have to charity. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
No. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:37 | |
No? | 0:09:38 | 0:09:39 | |
You don't want to give to charity? | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
Yes. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
Are you sure? | 0:09:43 | 0:09:45 | |
No... | 0:09:45 | 0:09:47 | |
You have to make a choice. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:49 | |
Make a choice. Will you give them the coin? | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
Yes. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:56 | |
Thank you! | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
This bag was made in China. | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
God bless you, Jane. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:04 | |
May the generosity of goodly people of London Town | 0:10:04 | 0:10:07 | |
keep you merry this Christmas. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
Merry Christmas, Miss Frances. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
Merry Christmas, Mr Cratchit. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
And to you! | 0:10:20 | 0:10:21 | |
Don't be cross, Uncle. | 0:10:25 | 0:10:26 | |
Say you'll come and dine with us tomorrow. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:28 | |
No, Frances. I shall spend Christmas alone. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
Kindly keep Christmas in your own way, | 0:10:31 | 0:10:34 | |
-and let me keep it in mine. -Keep it? But you don't keep it! | 0:10:34 | 0:10:36 | |
Let me leave it alone, then. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:38 | |
Very well, Uncle. If you change your mind, | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
you have our address. | 0:10:40 | 0:10:42 | |
CHAIR CLATTERS | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
Merry Christmas. | 0:10:55 | 0:10:57 | |
CHAIR CLATTERS | 0:11:03 | 0:11:05 | |
Sorry... | 0:11:25 | 0:11:27 | |
Sorry... Can we just...? Look... | 0:11:28 | 0:11:29 | |
OK, Jane. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:31 | |
And the coat. And the coat. | 0:11:31 | 0:11:33 | |
Just... | 0:11:35 | 0:11:37 | |
Don't look, Bob, don't look! OK. | 0:11:37 | 0:11:39 | |
Right. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:42 | |
Just get my coat... | 0:11:42 | 0:11:43 | |
OK. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
Right. Open the door, open the door. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
Open the door. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:51 | |
OK. OK. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:55 | |
And a merry Christmas to you, Bob Cratchit! | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
You'll want all day tomorrow, I suppose? | 0:12:05 | 0:12:08 | |
If it's quite convenient, sir. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:10 | |
It's not convenient, Bob Cratchit! | 0:12:10 | 0:12:14 | |
Christmas comes but once a year. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:16 | |
Look outside at the people going about their business with glee. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:21 | |
This is not a time for money but for family, | 0:12:21 | 0:12:24 | |
and mine would appreciate me home, sir. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:28 | |
Spare me your foolish humbug, Cratchit. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
I... | 0:12:31 | 0:12:33 | |
I... I... | 0:12:33 | 0:12:35 | |
I... | 0:12:35 | 0:12:36 | |
I... I...erm... | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
I... | 0:12:39 | 0:12:41 | |
I am not a rich man! | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
BOOKS CLATTER | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
If I can spend Christmas with my family, | 0:12:45 | 0:12:48 | |
I would be content to... | 0:12:48 | 0:12:50 | |
..gnaw... | 0:12:51 | 0:12:53 | |
..upon a bone, or sleep on a bed of...warts. | 0:12:55 | 0:13:01 | |
Fine, Cratchit, take the whole day. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:11 | |
Uoy sselb! | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
Bless you. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:21 | |
Thank you. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
Humbug! | 0:13:23 | 0:13:24 | |
But be here all the earlier the next morning! | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
Wang! | 0:13:29 | 0:13:31 | |
OWL HOOTS | 0:13:41 | 0:13:43 | |
Jacob Marley? | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
Scroo... | 0:14:03 | 0:14:04 | |
KNOCKER CLATTERS | 0:14:04 | 0:14:06 | |
-MUFFLED: -Scrooge... | 0:14:09 | 0:14:12 | |
Humbug. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:26 | |
Scrooge, shaken by the vision, | 0:14:26 | 0:14:29 | |
went to search the rooms of his house for signs of an intruder. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:35 | |
Finding nothing untoward, he returned to his bedroom, | 0:14:46 | 0:14:50 | |
secure in the knowledge the house was completely empty | 0:14:50 | 0:14:55 | |
other than Scrooge. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:57 | |
SPLAT | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
BELLS JANGLE | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
I'll get it! | 0:15:20 | 0:15:23 | |
-EERILY: -Scrooge... | 0:15:26 | 0:15:28 | |
Who's there? | 0:15:28 | 0:15:30 | |
Ebenezer Scrooge... | 0:15:30 | 0:15:34 | |
Humbug! | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
THUNDER CRASHES | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
What trickery is this? Who are you? | 0:15:42 | 0:15:46 | |
In life, I was your partner, Jacob Marley. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:50 | |
You don't believe in me? | 0:15:50 | 0:15:52 | |
I do not! | 0:15:52 | 0:15:54 | |
Why do you doubt your senses? | 0:15:54 | 0:15:57 | |
Because a little thing affects them. | 0:15:57 | 0:16:00 | |
You may be an undigested bit of beef. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:03 | |
A blot of mustard. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
There's more of gravy than a grave about you. | 0:16:05 | 0:16:09 | |
Wah... | 0:16:09 | 0:16:11 | |
THUNDER CRASHES | 0:16:11 | 0:16:13 | |
That's it, you dreadful apparition. Why do you trouble me? | 0:16:16 | 0:16:20 | |
If a spirit goes not forth in life, | 0:16:20 | 0:16:23 | |
it is condemned to do so after death. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:27 | |
I am doomed to wander through the world | 0:16:27 | 0:16:31 | |
and witness what I cannot share. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
I wear the chain I forged in life. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:39 | |
I made it link by link | 0:16:39 | 0:16:41 | |
and yard by yard. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:43 | |
You must listen! My time is nearly gone! | 0:16:49 | 0:16:53 | |
CRASH! | 0:16:53 | 0:16:55 | |
Oh, how I wish I could cast off these cursed chains! | 0:16:57 | 0:17:01 | |
I am made captive by my deeds but, like me, Scrooge, | 0:17:05 | 0:17:09 | |
you have girded yourself a great chain | 0:17:09 | 0:17:12 | |
which in time shall hang heavy around you. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
DOOR RATTLES | 0:17:15 | 0:17:17 | |
Stay away, vile spirit! | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
I wish to see no more of you! | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
DOOR RATTLES | 0:17:22 | 0:17:24 | |
-Unlock the door! -Be gone! | 0:17:24 | 0:17:27 | |
DOOR RATTLES | 0:17:27 | 0:17:29 | |
Undo the bottom one. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:30 | |
You will be haunted by three spirits. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:40 | |
Without their visits, | 0:17:44 | 0:17:46 | |
you cannot hope to shun the path I tread. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:49 | |
Expect the first when the bell tolls one. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:54 | |
Farewell, Scrooge! | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
-ECHOING: -Scrooge... | 0:17:57 | 0:18:00 | |
Scrooge was left alone again. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:11 | |
He looked out through his window, which was locked shut, | 0:18:15 | 0:18:20 | |
undisturbed, just as it was before the ghost arrived. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:24 | |
Resolved to forget what he had experienced, | 0:18:26 | 0:18:29 | |
Scrooge went to bed | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
and blew out the light. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
CLOCK CHIMES | 0:19:04 | 0:19:07 | |
Are you the spirit whose coming was foretold to me? | 0:19:18 | 0:19:23 | |
I am! | 0:19:23 | 0:19:24 | |
Who and what are you? | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
Come close and I shall tell you. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:32 | |
I am the ghost of Christmas Past. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:42 | |
I shine with the light of a thousand Christmases gone. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:46 | |
I have never seen your like before. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:49 | |
May I look closer? | 0:19:49 | 0:19:50 | |
No, no, no! Oh! Oh! | 0:19:50 | 0:19:53 | |
By my light you shall see the truth of your past. | 0:19:56 | 0:20:00 | |
Take me in your hand, Scrooge. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
WIND WHISTLES | 0:20:03 | 0:20:04 | |
HE GASPS | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
Your past is hidden beyond these walls. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:10 | |
Step through with me. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:12 | |
I am mortal, Spirit. I cannot. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:15 | |
By my light, you shall. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:17 | |
Humbug! | 0:20:17 | 0:20:19 | |
HE GROANS | 0:20:19 | 0:20:21 | |
This way, Mr Scrooge. | 0:20:24 | 0:20:26 | |
Ohh! | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
And with that, Scrooge and the spirit | 0:20:31 | 0:20:33 | |
disappeared from his bedroom. | 0:20:33 | 0:20:36 | |
Tip me through. | 0:20:36 | 0:20:37 | |
Just go. | 0:20:37 | 0:20:38 | |
Tip me. Tip me. Tip me! | 0:20:38 | 0:20:42 | |
HE STRAINS | 0:20:42 | 0:20:43 | |
You're not moving. | 0:20:43 | 0:20:45 | |
-Have we disappeared? -Yes. Shh! | 0:20:45 | 0:20:47 | |
And Scrooge found himself soaring over open fields and woodland. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:55 | |
Oh, I'm not sure, Spirit. May we not fall? | 0:20:55 | 0:20:58 | |
We shall not, Mr Scrooge. | 0:20:58 | 0:21:01 | |
Where are you taking me? | 0:21:01 | 0:21:03 | |
My light shall show you the man you once were. | 0:21:03 | 0:21:08 | |
MAN MUMBLES | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
Welcome to Greenscreen 1-2-3, | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
where, with just one click, | 0:21:22 | 0:21:24 | |
you can be on a beach... | 0:21:24 | 0:21:26 | |
..or at the Eiffel Tower. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:28 | |
Overlay your own exciting footage. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:31 | |
-I think Robert would make a great leading actor. -Oh, come on! | 0:21:35 | 0:21:38 | |
It's Ebenezer Scrooge, not Ebenezer Huge! | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
Ow. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:53 | |
Ow! | 0:21:53 | 0:21:54 | |
Agh! Stop it! | 0:21:56 | 0:21:58 | |
Stop it! Ow! Stop it! | 0:21:58 | 0:22:00 | |
Get off! | 0:22:00 | 0:22:02 | |
Get off! | 0:22:02 | 0:22:04 | |
-< -Oh! | 0:22:06 | 0:22:08 | |
-Oh, no! -Agh! | 0:22:08 | 0:22:10 | |
-Oh, now he's completely incapacitated. -I'm not! | 0:22:12 | 0:22:15 | |
-Humbug! -I'm fine! | 0:22:15 | 0:22:17 | |
I want to be in a grown-up relationship. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:21 | |
I don't want to be dating Max any more. | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
When are you going to do it? | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
-After we finish Christmas Carol? -Yeah. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:29 | |
HE SIGHS | 0:22:47 | 0:22:49 | |
Good heavens. | 0:22:49 | 0:22:52 | |
I know this place. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:53 | |
I grew up here. | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
This is where Belle and I would court. | 0:22:58 | 0:23:01 | |
And there we are. | 0:23:01 | 0:23:04 | |
I'm sorry, Ebenezer. We cannot be together any longer. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:10 | |
Why, my love? | 0:23:10 | 0:23:12 | |
Another idol has displaced me that you love more. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
Who is this idol you speak of? There is no-one else. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:18 | |
The pursuit of wealth and gain engrosses you. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:21 | |
I don't understand. | 0:23:21 | 0:23:23 | |
You have grown hard and unfeeling, like your partner Mr Marley. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:28 | |
Please don't leave me. | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
Our contract is an old one, | 0:23:30 | 0:23:33 | |
made when we were both poor. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:35 | |
I can change. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:37 | |
You are changed. | 0:23:37 | 0:23:38 | |
When it was made, you were a different man. | 0:23:38 | 0:23:42 | |
I release you with a heart full of love for the man you once were. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:47 | |
Goodbye, my dearest. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
Good... | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
Goodbye, my dearest! | 0:23:55 | 0:23:57 | |
Oh, Spirit, why do you delight in torturing me? | 0:23:59 | 0:24:04 | |
Dry your tears, Ebenezer. | 0:24:04 | 0:24:06 | |
You must to bed before the other spirits arrive. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:10 | |
CLOCK CHIMES | 0:24:10 | 0:24:12 | |
Oh! Sorry, mate. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:18 | |
And just as Jacob Marley said, | 0:24:21 | 0:24:23 | |
upon the stroke of two... | 0:24:23 | 0:24:25 | |
CLOCK CHIMES | 0:24:25 | 0:24:28 | |
..Scrooge heard the merry sound of laughter. | 0:24:28 | 0:24:32 | |
-WAVERING: -Ho-ho-ho... | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
-Hello, Scrooge. -Who are you, Spirit? | 0:24:40 | 0:24:42 | |
I am the ghost of Christmas Present. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
I am cheer, I am joy, I...am Christmas. | 0:24:45 | 0:24:50 | |
Come, and know me better, man. | 0:24:50 | 0:24:52 | |
Oh, Spirit, | 0:24:52 | 0:24:54 | |
I have seen enough for one night. | 0:24:54 | 0:24:56 | |
I cannot bear another heartbreak. | 0:24:56 | 0:24:59 | |
I beg you, leave me be. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:02 | |
Haunt me no longer. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:03 | |
Humbug! | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
MUFFLED GROANS | 0:25:05 | 0:25:09 | |
Haunt me no longer. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:11 | |
-No, me. -Get off! -Me! | 0:25:11 | 0:25:13 | |
Worry not, Scrooge. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:19 | |
Your journey with me shall not be one of heartbreak | 0:25:19 | 0:25:22 | |
but of mirth. Now, come. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:23 | |
You look hungry. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:25 | |
What is all this? | 0:25:25 | 0:25:26 | |
Why, it is the bounty of Christmas. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:29 | |
Ho-ho-ho! | 0:25:29 | 0:25:31 | |
I don't believe... | 0:25:31 | 0:25:32 | |
..you have merely come to feed me. | 0:25:32 | 0:25:35 | |
Tell me, Spirit, the purpose of your visit. | 0:25:35 | 0:25:38 | |
Each year, you have shunned the present, | 0:25:38 | 0:25:40 | |
but this year you will mark the lessons it holds. | 0:25:40 | 0:25:43 | |
CLATTER AND GROANING | 0:25:43 | 0:25:45 | |
Very well. | 0:25:45 | 0:25:46 | |
Conduct me where you will. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:48 | |
If you have aught to teach me, | 0:25:48 | 0:25:50 | |
I shall listen and profit by it. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
Then follow me to the street, Scrooge. | 0:25:52 | 0:25:55 | |
Show me something I may smile upon. | 0:25:55 | 0:25:58 | |
-GASPS: -Jacobi! -Ho-ho-ho-ho! | 0:25:59 | 0:26:02 | |
DART WHIZZES | 0:26:02 | 0:26:05 | |
Oh, come now, he's completely incapacit... | 0:26:05 | 0:26:08 | |
Oh, for God's sake! | 0:26:08 | 0:26:10 | |
Right, come on, Jacobi. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:11 | |
Come down to the street, Scrooge, | 0:26:11 | 0:26:13 | |
and see how the goodly people celebrate Christmas, | 0:26:13 | 0:26:17 | |
a day where all mankind can forget their position | 0:26:17 | 0:26:20 | |
and go about with glee and good tidings, | 0:26:20 | 0:26:23 | |
masters and servants, judges and scoundrels, | 0:26:23 | 0:26:26 | |
landlords and lodgers can all make merry together | 0:26:26 | 0:26:30 | |
and wish each other well. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:32 | |
Do you recognise this house, Scrooge? | 0:26:32 | 0:26:35 | |
Why, 'tis Bob Cratchit's house, for sure. | 0:26:35 | 0:26:38 | |
Here comes his youngest, Tiny Tim, | 0:26:38 | 0:26:41 | |
walking home. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
Ah, Tiny Tim, the sweetest, dearest boy that there ever was. | 0:26:43 | 0:26:47 | |
Ho-ho-ho! | 0:27:05 | 0:27:07 | |
Come, Scrooge, look through the window and observe | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
how these humble folk live. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:14 | |
I've had the children clean up before we eat. | 0:27:14 | 0:27:16 | |
What will we be having for Christmas dinner, Bob? | 0:27:16 | 0:27:19 | |
Bob? | 0:27:23 | 0:27:24 | |
A goose! | 0:27:29 | 0:27:31 | |
Oh, Bob, you saved up for it! How wonderful. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:33 | |
Anything for you, my sweet? | 0:27:35 | 0:27:37 | |
A drop to drink? | 0:27:37 | 0:27:39 | |
Oh, why, thank you. How was Tiny Tim at church? | 0:27:39 | 0:27:42 | |
As good as gold and better. | 0:27:42 | 0:27:45 | |
He told me coming home | 0:27:45 | 0:27:47 | |
he hoped people saw him because he was a cripple | 0:27:47 | 0:27:49 | |
and it might be pleasant for them to remember upon Christmas Day | 0:27:49 | 0:27:52 | |
who made lame beggars walk and blind men see. | 0:27:52 | 0:27:55 | |
Enough wine for you, my dear? | 0:27:55 | 0:27:57 | |
Plenty. | 0:27:57 | 0:27:58 | |
I pray for him every day. | 0:28:01 | 0:28:02 | |
Here he comes now. | 0:28:02 | 0:28:04 | |
Hello, Mama! | 0:28:04 | 0:28:06 | |
Tim! Come here, my little boy. | 0:28:11 | 0:28:13 | |
Lift me in your arms, Papa. | 0:28:16 | 0:28:19 | |
We... | 0:28:26 | 0:28:28 | |
Oh, Tim, you do look frail of late. | 0:28:30 | 0:28:33 | |
I am frail. | 0:28:33 | 0:28:35 | |
Frail and ill. | 0:28:35 | 0:28:36 | |
Atchoo. | 0:28:36 | 0:28:38 | |
Uoy sselb! | 0:28:38 | 0:28:40 | |
Sit up to the table, my little Tim. | 0:28:42 | 0:28:44 | |
Oh, Mama. | 0:28:54 | 0:28:55 | |
Now...let...us...raise...a ...glass...to... | 0:28:58 | 0:29:02 | |
..Mr Scrooge, the...founder...of...the... | 0:29:02 | 0:29:06 | |
..feast. | 0:29:07 | 0:29:09 | |
The founder of the feast indeed. | 0:29:09 | 0:29:11 | |
That hard, unfeeling scoundrel is the cause of our suffering! | 0:29:11 | 0:29:16 | |
Mr Scrooge has not the kind family I have. | 0:29:16 | 0:29:19 | |
-I pity him. -Hmm. | 0:29:19 | 0:29:21 | |
Alone on Christmas Day. | 0:29:21 | 0:29:22 | |
We maybe poor but we are rich in company, eh, Father? | 0:29:22 | 0:29:26 | |
Oof! | 0:29:26 | 0:29:28 | |
There is the wealth Mr Scrooge may never know. | 0:29:28 | 0:29:32 | |
To Mr Scrooge. | 0:29:34 | 0:29:36 | |
BOTH: The founder of the feast. | 0:29:36 | 0:29:38 | |
God bless us... | 0:29:38 | 0:29:39 | |
Good bless us every one. | 0:29:42 | 0:29:45 | |
A remarkable boy. | 0:29:46 | 0:29:48 | |
Tell me, Spirit, if Tiny Tim will live. | 0:29:48 | 0:29:51 | |
I see a vacant seat and a crutch without an owner. | 0:29:51 | 0:29:55 | |
Do I really pay Bob so poorly? | 0:29:55 | 0:29:57 | |
They have such a meagre feast... | 0:29:59 | 0:30:01 | |
..but what a fine family they are. | 0:30:01 | 0:30:03 | |
Tiny Tim is such a brave boy. | 0:30:03 | 0:30:07 | |
Mrs Cratchit such a loyal and devoted woman. | 0:30:07 | 0:30:12 | |
But they should get on with dying and decrease the surplus population, | 0:30:12 | 0:30:15 | |
should they not? | 0:30:15 | 0:30:17 | |
What more can you afford to pay? | 0:30:17 | 0:30:18 | |
I don't only care about myself, do I? | 0:30:18 | 0:30:21 | |
Come, there is more to see. | 0:30:21 | 0:30:24 | |
Do you recognise this house, Scrooge? | 0:30:24 | 0:30:27 | |
It belongs to my niece, Frances. | 0:30:27 | 0:30:29 | |
There she is now. | 0:30:29 | 0:30:31 | |
Erm... | 0:30:31 | 0:30:32 | |
Oh, dear. | 0:30:35 | 0:30:37 | |
It looks like they've got the decorators in. | 0:30:37 | 0:30:40 | |
I'm sure they'll be done any moment now... | 0:30:40 | 0:30:44 | |
..and there we are, they're done! | 0:30:46 | 0:30:48 | |
THEY ALL LAUGH | 0:30:48 | 0:30:51 | |
Is it a vegetable? | 0:30:52 | 0:30:55 | |
-Not a vegetable, no. -Mineral, then? | 0:30:55 | 0:30:58 | |
Not a mineral, which leaves you with...? | 0:30:58 | 0:31:00 | |
-Animal. -Quite so. | 0:31:00 | 0:31:03 | |
-Alive? -More or less. | 0:31:03 | 0:31:05 | |
Oh, my dear Frances. | 0:31:05 | 0:31:07 | |
Why must you always be so cryptic? | 0:31:07 | 0:31:10 | |
Is this animal disagreeable or friendly? | 0:31:10 | 0:31:13 | |
Oh, disagreeable, for sure. | 0:31:13 | 0:31:16 | |
-Does it growl? -Sometimes. | 0:31:16 | 0:31:18 | |
-Is it found in England? -It's found in London, Topper. | 0:31:20 | 0:31:23 | |
A horse. | 0:31:23 | 0:31:24 | |
No, but it says "nay" more than a horse does! | 0:31:24 | 0:31:27 | |
-Is it a pig? -Is it a fox? | 0:31:33 | 0:31:35 | |
Is this animal domesticated? | 0:31:35 | 0:31:38 | |
Mmm, hardly. | 0:31:38 | 0:31:40 | |
Frances, I know what it is. | 0:31:40 | 0:31:42 | |
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT | 0:31:44 | 0:31:46 | |
A disagreeable creature but none of these - it is your uncle, | 0:31:49 | 0:31:52 | |
-Ebenezer Scrooge. -It is! It is! Oh, bravo, Topper! | 0:31:52 | 0:31:57 | |
Oh... | 0:31:57 | 0:31:58 | |
A disagreeable creature. | 0:32:01 | 0:32:03 | |
Is that what they think? | 0:32:03 | 0:32:05 | |
And a growling one. | 0:32:05 | 0:32:06 | |
But what does Scrooge care what these fools believe? | 0:32:06 | 0:32:09 | |
I don't care. | 0:32:09 | 0:32:11 | |
Indeed. | 0:32:11 | 0:32:12 | |
More or less dead, hardly domesticated. | 0:32:12 | 0:32:15 | |
What childish blabber. | 0:32:15 | 0:32:17 | |
I care perhaps a little. | 0:32:17 | 0:32:19 | |
The time has come for me to away and let in another spirit | 0:32:19 | 0:32:24 | |
before Christmas Day... | 0:32:24 | 0:32:26 | |
-It's all right. -I'm sorry. -It's all right. -Sorry. Sorry, mate. | 0:32:29 | 0:32:33 | |
CLOCK CHIMES | 0:32:35 | 0:32:37 | |
Oh... | 0:32:46 | 0:32:48 | |
Sorry, mate. Sorry. | 0:32:48 | 0:32:49 | |
HE GASPS | 0:32:52 | 0:32:55 | |
HE GASPS | 0:33:28 | 0:33:31 | |
Come on! | 0:33:34 | 0:33:36 | |
Come on... | 0:33:36 | 0:33:38 | |
HE GROANS | 0:33:42 | 0:33:45 | |
RASPING BREATHS | 0:33:57 | 0:33:59 | |
Are you a ghost... | 0:34:03 | 0:34:05 | |
..of Christmas Yet-To-Come? | 0:34:05 | 0:34:08 | |
Sandra? | 0:34:33 | 0:34:35 | |
I've got good news. That agent just called. | 0:34:39 | 0:34:42 | |
He's going to take me on. | 0:34:42 | 0:34:44 | |
He said the exposure from Christmas Carol | 0:34:44 | 0:34:46 | |
will easily get me that advert. | 0:34:46 | 0:34:48 | |
We'll never have to work with this bunch of freaks again. | 0:34:48 | 0:34:52 | |
I don't suppose anyone will attend the old goat's funeral. | 0:35:15 | 0:35:19 | |
He never gave a penny to charity. He stole from the poor. | 0:35:21 | 0:35:25 | |
Selfish. | 0:35:27 | 0:35:29 | |
Spirit, show me some tenderness connected with a death, | 0:35:34 | 0:35:38 | |
or this dark conversation will be forever present to me. | 0:35:38 | 0:35:43 | |
CLUNK! | 0:35:55 | 0:35:57 | |
Oh, my poor Tim. | 0:36:14 | 0:36:16 | |
Be at peace, my dear, sweet boy. | 0:36:18 | 0:36:21 | |
HE ROARS | 0:36:21 | 0:36:24 | |
HE GASPS | 0:36:24 | 0:36:26 | |
Why did you put him in the coffin? | 0:36:28 | 0:36:30 | |
How else am I supposed to keep him contained? | 0:36:30 | 0:36:32 | |
CLOCK CHIMES | 0:36:32 | 0:36:35 | |
CLUNK! | 0:36:35 | 0:36:37 | |
Oh, come on! | 0:36:39 | 0:36:41 | |
CLUNK! | 0:36:44 | 0:36:46 | |
Yes, he died a week ago, I heard. | 0:36:49 | 0:36:51 | |
Good Lord, I thought he'd never die! | 0:36:51 | 0:36:53 | |
THEY CHUCKLE | 0:36:53 | 0:36:55 | |
-Well, I certainly shan't miss him. -Nor I. He was very unpopular. | 0:36:55 | 0:36:59 | |
CLUNK! | 0:37:02 | 0:37:04 | |
Spirit... | 0:37:09 | 0:37:11 | |
..are these the shadows of things that will be? | 0:37:11 | 0:37:14 | |
Or are they the shadows of things that may only be? | 0:37:14 | 0:37:18 | |
THUNDER RUMBLES | 0:37:18 | 0:37:20 | |
Oh... | 0:37:23 | 0:37:25 | |
Spirit... | 0:37:25 | 0:37:27 | |
..a man may change the course of his life! | 0:37:27 | 0:37:31 | |
Spirit, I... | 0:37:31 | 0:37:32 | |
Spirit, I'm sorry. | 0:37:34 | 0:37:36 | |
I have been greedy and selfish. | 0:37:38 | 0:37:41 | |
I've served myself before others... | 0:37:43 | 0:37:45 | |
..and shut out the gift of their kindnesses. | 0:37:45 | 0:37:49 | |
I'm sorry to everyone. | 0:37:49 | 0:37:51 | |
All of you. | 0:37:52 | 0:37:54 | |
I've taken you all for granted. | 0:37:55 | 0:37:57 | |
I thought I wanted to go it alone, but... | 0:37:58 | 0:38:01 | |
..truth is... | 0:38:02 | 0:38:04 | |
..I'd be lost without you. | 0:38:04 | 0:38:06 | |
In fact... | 0:38:08 | 0:38:09 | |
..I believe... | 0:38:10 | 0:38:12 | |
..I'm not feeling at all well. | 0:38:14 | 0:38:16 | |
I think... | 0:38:18 | 0:38:20 | |
..I may be... | 0:38:20 | 0:38:21 | |
..completely incapacitated. | 0:38:23 | 0:38:25 | |
Scrooge... | 0:38:28 | 0:38:30 | |
What? | 0:38:30 | 0:38:31 | |
I'm completely incapacitated. | 0:38:33 | 0:38:35 | |
Mr Scrooge. | 0:38:35 | 0:38:37 | |
Chris, I don't know what to say. | 0:38:38 | 0:38:40 | |
-I couldn't. -You have to. | 0:38:40 | 0:38:42 | |
We're all counting on our lead actor. | 0:38:43 | 0:38:46 | |
Chris, it's your part and you should finish it. | 0:38:46 | 0:38:50 | |
I'm not going to take your role. | 0:38:50 | 0:38:53 | |
Well, why don't we do it together? | 0:38:55 | 0:38:56 | |
No, I'll do it. | 0:38:56 | 0:38:58 | |
Humbug! | 0:39:00 | 0:39:02 | |
Quickly, we'll finish the thing. | 0:39:02 | 0:39:04 | |
Here we are. Come on, quickly. | 0:39:04 | 0:39:07 | |
Hurry up, this way. Up to the bedroom. Come on, quickly. | 0:39:07 | 0:39:11 | |
Hurry up, there's still time. We can still make it work. Quickly! | 0:39:11 | 0:39:14 | |
Scrooge fell before the spirit and woke to find himself in bed. | 0:39:14 | 0:39:19 | |
Good morning. | 0:39:19 | 0:39:21 | |
I shall live in the past, present and the future, | 0:39:21 | 0:39:24 | |
the spirits of all three shall strive within me. | 0:39:24 | 0:39:28 | |
You there, child. What day is it? | 0:39:28 | 0:39:30 | |
-It's Christmas Day! -Christmas Day? Oh, Jacob Marley be praised! | 0:39:30 | 0:39:35 | |
Wait there, for I must speak with you a moment. | 0:39:35 | 0:39:38 | |
I shall have that girl run to the poulterer's | 0:39:40 | 0:39:42 | |
and fetch the plumpest bird she can find in the shop. | 0:39:42 | 0:39:45 | |
Merry Christmas, everyone. | 0:39:45 | 0:39:46 | |
Merry Christmas! A merry Christmas to you, sir. | 0:39:46 | 0:39:50 | |
-Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas. | 0:39:50 | 0:39:51 | |
Merry Christmas to one and all! | 0:39:51 | 0:39:54 | |
Excuse me, are you playing Scrooge? | 0:39:54 | 0:39:58 | |
No. Chris is playing Scrooge. | 0:39:58 | 0:40:00 | |
I am not playing Scrooge. You took over as Scrooge. | 0:40:00 | 0:40:03 | |
I only took over as Scrooge because you forced me | 0:40:03 | 0:40:05 | |
to take over as Scrooge. | 0:40:05 | 0:40:06 | |
I did not force you to take over as Scrooge. | 0:40:06 | 0:40:08 | |
If anything, you forced me to play Scrooge by being such a bad actor! | 0:40:08 | 0:40:11 | |
Nobody forced either of you to play Scrooge. | 0:40:11 | 0:40:13 | |
You came here and took Scrooge from me. By force! | 0:40:13 | 0:40:16 | |
Stop fighting. Look, it doesn't matter who's playing Scrooge. | 0:40:16 | 0:40:19 | |
-That's what we've learned tonight. -It's not what I've learned tonight. | 0:40:19 | 0:40:22 | |
I've learned that it absolutely matters! I am Scrooge! | 0:40:22 | 0:40:26 | |
Get them out! | 0:40:26 | 0:40:28 | |
Come on, it's over. | 0:40:28 | 0:40:29 | |
They're using force! They're using force! | 0:40:32 | 0:40:34 | |
Chris! Understudy! | 0:40:34 | 0:40:35 | |
I'm Scrooge! | 0:40:35 | 0:40:37 | |
THEY ALL SHOUT | 0:40:37 | 0:40:40 | |
Quick! The cameras. | 0:40:42 | 0:40:44 | |
Get off him! | 0:40:47 | 0:40:49 | |
Ow! | 0:40:50 | 0:40:51 | |
We may as well finish the show outside. Everyone, outs... | 0:40:58 | 0:41:01 | |
Hurry, quickly. | 0:41:03 | 0:41:05 | |
We're still filming, so, action! | 0:41:08 | 0:41:10 | |
Here's a better idea. | 0:41:10 | 0:41:13 | |
Why don't we all go to the poulterer's and fetch a goose? | 0:41:13 | 0:41:18 | |
We shall take it to Bob Cratchit's house. | 0:41:18 | 0:41:20 | |
# Ding-dong merrily on high | 0:41:20 | 0:41:23 | |
# In heaven the bells are ringing | 0:41:23 | 0:41:26 | |
# Ding dong merrily the sky... # | 0:41:26 | 0:41:28 | |
THEY STUMBLE OVER LYRICS | 0:41:28 | 0:41:31 | |
# ..Glo-o-o-o-oria | 0:41:35 | 0:41:37 | |
# Hosanna in excelsis! # | 0:41:37 | 0:41:40 | |
Now, everyone, we must search for the plumpest goose we can find. | 0:41:40 | 0:41:45 | |
# Jingle bells | 0:41:45 | 0:41:47 | |
# Jingle bells, jingle all the way | 0:41:47 | 0:41:50 | |
# Oh, what fun it is to ride | 0:41:50 | 0:41:52 | |
# In a one-horse open sleigh... # | 0:41:52 | 0:41:54 | |
Ah, no goose, then, | 0:41:54 | 0:41:56 | |
but fare well, Bob Cratchit, | 0:41:56 | 0:41:59 | |
if this is what you desire most then it is what you shall have. | 0:41:59 | 0:42:03 | |
# For everyone at Christmas loves goujons! # | 0:42:03 | 0:42:07 | |
Hey! | 0:42:07 | 0:42:09 | |
# Jingle bells | 0:42:09 | 0:42:10 | |
# Jingle bells Jingle all the way... # | 0:42:10 | 0:42:13 | |
Sorry, would you mind if we went ahead? | 0:42:13 | 0:42:15 | |
Yes, I would mind. | 0:42:15 | 0:42:17 | |
# Dashing through the snow | 0:42:17 | 0:42:20 | |
# On a one-horse open sleigh... # | 0:42:20 | 0:42:22 | |
Greetings, good fellow. | 0:42:22 | 0:42:23 | |
-Hiya. -I would like to purchase these fine goujons, please. | 0:42:23 | 0:42:27 | |
That's 3.99, please. | 0:42:27 | 0:42:28 | |
Does anyone have any money? Do you have any money? | 0:42:28 | 0:42:31 | |
No. | 0:42:35 | 0:42:37 | |
I appear to have left my coin-purse in my other britches. | 0:42:39 | 0:42:43 | |
If you don't have any money, you'll have to leave. | 0:42:43 | 0:42:46 | |
Might you be able to open your heart to those in need at Christmas? | 0:42:46 | 0:42:50 | |
-I'm sorry, mate. -Please, it's for the Cratchits. -Who? | 0:42:50 | 0:42:53 | |
Please, we need them. | 0:42:53 | 0:42:55 | |
I... Just take whatever you want. Just take the money. | 0:42:55 | 0:42:57 | |
-It's fine. -Really? The goujons? -Take them, just don't hurt anyone. | 0:42:57 | 0:43:00 | |
Yeah. Yeah, bag it up, yeah. | 0:43:00 | 0:43:03 | |
Merry Christmas! | 0:43:03 | 0:43:05 | |
# Jingle bells, jingle bells... # | 0:43:05 | 0:43:07 | |
Give us a Snickers. | 0:43:07 | 0:43:09 | |
-Take one yourself. -What? | 0:43:09 | 0:43:11 | |
-Take one yourself! -OK! | 0:43:11 | 0:43:13 | |
And this lady's shopping's free. | 0:43:13 | 0:43:15 | |
-Whatever you say. -OK. | 0:43:15 | 0:43:16 | |
Merry Christmas! | 0:43:16 | 0:43:18 | |
Oh, everyone, we shall return to Bob Cratchit's house | 0:43:20 | 0:43:23 | |
and present him with the finest Christmas feast | 0:43:23 | 0:43:26 | |
he's had in all his life. | 0:43:26 | 0:43:28 | |
# Fah-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la... # | 0:43:28 | 0:43:32 | |
THEY HUM THE TUNE | 0:43:32 | 0:43:35 | |
Festive greetings! | 0:43:35 | 0:43:37 | |
We are travelling the town to wish everyone a merry Christmas. | 0:43:37 | 0:43:41 | |
ALL: Merry Christmas! | 0:43:41 | 0:43:43 | |
Oh, that's nice. | 0:43:43 | 0:43:45 | |
Might we enter and spread our joy to the fine townsfolk within? | 0:43:45 | 0:43:50 | |
Not without a pass. | 0:43:50 | 0:43:52 | |
Oh, dear. | 0:43:52 | 0:43:54 | |
That is a shame. | 0:43:54 | 0:43:57 | |
We had hoped we'd might be able to get back in the studio, but... | 0:43:57 | 0:44:02 | |
FIRE ALARM RINGS | 0:44:02 | 0:44:04 | |
Oh, that's the fire alarm. | 0:44:04 | 0:44:05 | |
If you could all just make your way out of the building | 0:44:05 | 0:44:08 | |
and across the courtyard. Thank you. All of you. | 0:44:08 | 0:44:11 | |
We will! | 0:44:11 | 0:44:12 | |
Shh! Shh! Shh! | 0:44:15 | 0:44:17 | |
THEY WHISPER | 0:44:17 | 0:44:20 | |
Oh! | 0:44:28 | 0:44:30 | |
No! | 0:44:30 | 0:44:32 | |
Bob Cratchit? | 0:44:36 | 0:44:38 | |
Bob Cratchit, are you in there? | 0:44:39 | 0:44:41 | |
No, I'm here. | 0:44:41 | 0:44:43 | |
Go round. | 0:44:43 | 0:44:44 | |
Merry Christmas, Bob! | 0:44:49 | 0:44:51 | |
A merrier Christmas than I have given you in many a year. | 0:44:51 | 0:44:54 | |
May I come in? | 0:44:54 | 0:44:56 | |
Yes! | 0:44:57 | 0:44:59 | |
Thank you, Bob. | 0:45:01 | 0:45:03 | |
I have come here to tell you that I intend to double your salary, | 0:45:03 | 0:45:07 | |
and shall endeavour to... | 0:45:07 | 0:45:09 | |
..to... | 0:45:11 | 0:45:12 | |
Assist your struggling family. | 0:45:12 | 0:45:15 | |
..to assist your struggling family. | 0:45:18 | 0:45:21 | |
BOTH: Tiny Tim shall walk again, | 0:45:21 | 0:45:23 | |
and I shall keep Christmas in my heart. | 0:45:23 | 0:45:27 | |
First, though, let us all have a Christmas dinner. | 0:45:27 | 0:45:32 | |
What do you say, Bob? | 0:45:32 | 0:45:34 | |
Yes. | 0:45:35 | 0:45:36 | |
Merry Christmas. | 0:45:36 | 0:45:39 | |
Pay attention, everyone. | 0:45:43 | 0:45:45 | |
Sorry. | 0:45:45 | 0:45:46 | |
Sorry, before we finish... | 0:45:46 | 0:45:48 | |
..there's something I'd like to say to Max. | 0:45:48 | 0:45:50 | |
You're going to break up with me on air. What's wrong with you? | 0:45:50 | 0:45:53 | |
Break up with you? | 0:45:53 | 0:45:54 | |
Yeah. I saw the video. You said you didn't want to be dating any more. | 0:45:54 | 0:45:58 | |
I don't want to be dating any more. I want to be married. | 0:45:58 | 0:46:01 | |
To me? | 0:46:04 | 0:46:05 | |
Yes. | 0:46:07 | 0:46:09 | |
I had a whole plan. I was going to propose. | 0:46:09 | 0:46:13 | |
-But I saw you kissing Chris. -What? | 0:46:14 | 0:46:17 | |
-I thought we were friends. -Look, I found something. | 0:46:17 | 0:46:19 | |
Look at this. | 0:46:19 | 0:46:21 | |
Oh, same dress! | 0:46:26 | 0:46:29 | |
-All right, Chris? -Yeah. | 0:46:29 | 0:46:31 | |
That's my sister. | 0:46:33 | 0:46:35 | |
You were going to propose? | 0:46:42 | 0:46:43 | |
Yeah. | 0:46:43 | 0:46:44 | |
Right, that's it! | 0:46:44 | 0:46:47 | |
I've had it! | 0:46:47 | 0:46:49 | |
You've ruined Christmas again, all of you! | 0:46:49 | 0:46:53 | |
It wasn't enough to ruin the production last year. | 0:46:53 | 0:46:56 | |
Now you've sabotaged mine! | 0:46:56 | 0:46:59 | |
Go on, get out of here. | 0:46:59 | 0:47:01 | |
We are going to perform OUR version from the top now! | 0:47:01 | 0:47:05 | |
-But it's a proposal! -I don't care! I'm going to give my performance. | 0:47:05 | 0:47:10 | |
The only chance you have of continuing | 0:47:10 | 0:47:13 | |
is if I am completely incapacitated. | 0:47:13 | 0:47:15 | |
CAR TYRES SCREECH | 0:47:15 | 0:47:17 | |
HE GASPS | 0:47:21 | 0:47:24 | |
Oh... | 0:47:26 | 0:47:27 | |
Oh, come on, Derek. This is not about you. | 0:47:27 | 0:47:30 | |
But I...I...I... | 0:47:30 | 0:47:32 | |
Oh, forget it. | 0:47:32 | 0:47:34 | |
Da-na! | 0:47:34 | 0:47:36 | |
Thank you, Auntie Diana. | 0:47:36 | 0:47:37 | |
Aw... | 0:47:40 | 0:47:42 | |
And so, as Tiny Tim observed... | 0:47:45 | 0:47:49 | |
Please, God bless us ev... | 0:47:49 | 0:47:52 | |
God bless us every one! | 0:47:52 | 0:47:55 |