Newark 32 Bargain Hunt

What a beautiful day.

The sun is out, our teams are so happy.

So let's go bargain hunting - yeah!

We're at the Newark and Nottingham Showground,

one of the largest antique fairs in Europe.

I hope our teams don't get lost.

They shouldn't, with two smashing experts to guide them.

Paul Laidlaw, ingratiates himself with the Reds.

Something the matter with you, isn't there?

Jeremy Lamben feels confident with the Blues.

You could double your money or not.

Do you think so?

Do you know what, you're looking at millionaires now.

So, let's meet the teams.

Well, today for the Reds, we've got best friends Andy and Dom

and for the Blues, we have Louise and Karen.

Now Andy, how did you two meet?

We're archaeology students at Nottingham University.

We met on a field trip to Hadrian's Wall doing a bit of study on the Romans.

How did you finish up doing archaeology?

I spent ten years working in call centres for financial companies.

I was working, not enjoying it and not getting rich.

I wasn't going to be rich, I'd do something I'm interested in.

There were a few fields I was interesting in going to uni,

I put them on the wall, threw a dart and...archaeology.

-Was that the correct choice?

-Yes, definitely.

Dom, I understand you're a great fan of Bargain Hunt.

Yes, I certainly am.

I've been watching for many a year with my grandma.

-She lived across the road from the school. So every dinner time...

-You'd sneak off.

I go off and have dinner with my grandma and watch Bargain Hunt

until it was time for lessons again in the afternoon.

-Do you mind my asking how old you are?

-Only 20.

Only 20? Well I've been doing this for 10 years,

so you'd be a ten-year-old nipper,

going off to your gran's to watch your favourite programme.

-Very true.

-Quite something. You weren't even shaving when you first watched it.

-True.

-Brilliant.

Will you be looking for archaeological remains today?

-They don't tend to get you a great deal of money.

-No, definitely not.

-Probably not, no.

It'll be interesting to see what you do spot with your eye

attuned to such ancient objects.

Very good luck chaps.

Now moving on to the girls, how are you? All right?

-Fine, thank you.

-You are sisters-in-law.

-Yes.

-But also great mates.

-I'm married to Karen's older brother,

so we've known each other about 24 years.

24 years, you must have been terribly young when you met.

We were, very young!

-Where do you both work?

-RAF Cranwell.

Karen, you're being rather shy here about what you do,

what's your role at Cranwell?

I'm the head chef at Cranwell,

-in York House Officers' Mess.

-Stand to attention.

How have you got on with our Royal Princes? They've been through Cranwell.

Yes, really, really nice guys. We didn't see Harry for very long.

William was there for a couple of weeks.

He mucked in with the other guys. Yeah, really pleasant, lovely.

Louise, what's it like with this ogre of a chief chef standing beside you?

It can be difficult at times but you know, I just have to grin and bear it.

-No family favours there.

-No, quite. Couldn't have favouritism, could we?

Here we go, the money moment.

Here we go, £300, you know the rules, your experts await and off you go.

Very, very, very good luck. Gosh, what lovely teams.

-OK, strategy?

-Anything that grabs us.

We could start here and then go round the corner.

-What does your instinct tell you, left, right, ahead?

-Left.

-Lots of things to look at. Fancy a gun? Or a sword?

-Or a hat.

A helmet. Silver jewellery.

-Belgian waffles.

-Don't think they'd get to Yorkshire.

That's right, you keep Louise on track, Karen.

-What do you make of that?

-I wouldn't even go there. You can't afford it.

-They're heavy, aren't they?

-Really old.

-What would you say on that one?

-That's expensive. £600.

-£600, crikey Moses.

It appears to have a Wanli reign mark, which is an early Ming mark.

-We haven't got £600.

-No, we haven't. So I'll put that back carefully.

What about the one next to it, is that the same?

That's later. You've got good eyes, she's picking things, isn't she?

These are stylised good luck symbols in Chinese mythology.

-Is that expensive as well?

-I could do £150 on it, I suppose.

-That's still a lot.

-Yeah, it's a lot.

-What do you think?

-Do you think we could make a profit?

-It is speculative.

-Could you not do a bit cheaper?

-No, not really. It was expensive.

I've had it quite a long time.

-You really like it, don't you?

-Do you like it?

-I do like it.

-Do you think it's selling at the moment?

-It is selling at the moment. Chinese is up.

Cross your fingers and hope for Chinese good luck.

Oh, let's do it.

Can we take that one then, please? Great.

You girls are quick off the blocks.

The lure of oriental riches.

Do you know what, I think you're looking at millionaires now.

There's optimism for you. What are your thoughts, Jay?

I think the girls are terrific. They're funny, bubbly, decisive.

They got that bowl very quickly indeed.

-They're a good team to work with.

-Brimming with confidence.

-Paul, are things going as smoothly for you?

-What have you seen?

-Nothing yet.

-You're walking down the middle.

What do you want to see here, pebbles, dust? Help me.

Get in amongst it.

That will be a "no" then.

You're doing a lot of looking at tarmac,

and we're not going to find anything that way.

Get in the thick of it.

That's right, Paul, time to take control.

-Amazing pair of oriental bronze spurs.

-They're quite cool.

Academically, I can tell you nict about them

but I think they're amazing.

-Look at that, that's not an ornament.

-Is that a sign of wear?

What do you think, archaeologist?

I think they're good things, they're all right.

These would be leather straps and doing a lot of work.

You'd want to see this polished up and worn underneath here.

-I'd say how badly wrong can you go?

-60 quid.

-They've got an age to them, yeah.

-They've got age to them, yeah.

They've probably got a decent survival rate as well.

They could may be...

£40 at auction.

We couldn't go far wrong on that, it's trade for me.

Make it another fiver?

I'm hard faced and I'd dig my heels in.

Have we got a deal at 40 cash?

-All right, yeah.

-What do you think?

-All right.

-Thanks very much.

-Thank you very much.

Did that come out of nowhere for you boys?

I'm surprised how quickly we've got off the mark really. I'm glad.

-They could do something. They'll either do something or they'll bomb.

-There's a prediction, Dom.

-OK, that's Doulton.

-This one?

-Yeah, that's quite nice.

I'm just going to check it's not restored.

Oh, yeah it's been repainted.

-There's a huge hairline crack down the bottom.

-Oh, yeah.

-That's a shame.

Oh, yes, some you win, ladies, at least you're trying.

Unlike those boys.

I'm going to have a look over here, guys.

You're walking down the middle of the road again.

He's crossing the road, he said.

# We're busy doing nothing... #

Come on, Dom and Andy, you can't let Paul do all the work.

Get stuck in there.

# We're busy going nowhere, isn't it just a crime... #

-Inside?

-Outside.

-Inside, there could be some good stuff inside.

Ah, finally, a decision of sorts. Let's go inside.

-I don't think we've gotten into this, have we?

-Not yet.

We've been trying to go fast and have a look as we're going past, trying to pick it out quickly.

-If we're going too quickly, let's rein that in.

-No problem.

What we're doing wrong is, we're not picking stuff up.

Two talented guys, somewhere, something tells me, let's get this done, yeah?

OK.

Paul, you sound nervous, mate.

You need to get some focus, like the Blue team.

It'll become a 3D image.

You have to adjust it. It's complete and good condition.

-I've got 110 on it.

-No, that's a bit above our budget.

I can be really honest, I feel for the guys. This is high pressure.

You've only got the hour, that's ticking away

and you've never done this before. I think they're dazed and confused.

We need to get in the thick of it, start picking material up and asking the right questions.

At the moment, I think we're just drifting, we're idling,

it's not happening and I'm panicking.

Have you heard of the expression, having your face in the trough?

Well, try this little fellow on for size.

It is a trough, but a miniature trough.

This one is solid silver, look at the end, it has a hallmark, Birmingham 1905,

which puts it slap bang in the mid-Edwardian period when Britain

was truly prosperous with rising standards of living and so forth.

What's its purpose?

Well, instead of having your face in the trough,

what you actually do is put your finger in the trough.

Well not literally!

You take a ring off your finger and insert it at night

into the ring trough like that.

If you're lucky enough to have six rings,

which you might well be able to afford in the Edwardian period,

you'd simply fill the trough up.

In the morning, select the one you're going to wear today,

pop it on and walk away from your dressing table.

It's a very nice whimsical, novelty value to it,

which I like so very, very much.

How much? £140, well, £130 to you.

Now that's enough to make you want to pull out your finger.

# You can ring my bell

# Ring my bell! #

Talking about pulling your finger out, how are the boys doing?

-See anything?

-Yeah, we quite like this thing here. That's quite cool.

-Is it any cop though?

-It's cheap enough not to really lose much.

-Tell me why it's quite cool.

-It reminds me of a sundae glass.

I'd have it in my house, to be honest with you. I think that's cool.

-I like that.

-There's something the matter with you on the inside.

-That is brown.

-It is.

-That's a piece of brown glass.

-That's rubbish is it?

-No, it's not.

I'm being really harsh. It's in the eye of the beholder.

Pressed glass is the field, it's moulded glass, marbled with it.

I've got to be honest, as I look closely,

I love what they've done with the inclusions.

Davidsons of Stourbridge, it tells me on the label, are a good name.

But I see no audience for a brown glass,

but I agree with you, it's a low risk exercise.

You're the bosses. It's priced appropriately at £12.

At the end of the day,

I think I probably steam-rollered you with the spurs.

It's your time, guys. You liked it. I see the rationale.

You've done the sums. It's up to you. What do you want to do?

-Should we carry on having a look?

-It's not going to fly.

-OK.

You're not wrong there, Paul.

They come as a set of six.

-They're silver plated but that probably puts them in your bracket.

-Yeah, absolutely.

Anything with a fox or dog motif at the moment is a popular subject.

-And you just rest a knife on them.

-Yes, absolutely.

Keeps your gravy off the table.

They don't look old though.

I'd say they're probably around about 15-20-years-old.

They're quite modern. I've not seen any in, say the last five, six years.

The price is reflective of the fact that they are, they haven't any great age.

-How much are they?

-I have £35 on the set of six.

They're modern, but you've got six and they're quirky.

It's one of those things that's quirky enough to sell.

-What's your bottom price on them then?

-I could do £28.

Go on.

Oh, we have a very small budget.

Another decisive buy.

Two down, one to go.

This was quite offensive to someone once. September 1917.

It's a German shell made at Magdeburg.

They call it trench art. The thought is that troops fill their time.

Nonsense. They're made in the 1920s, commercially,

and sold to the huge numbers of tourists touring the battlefields at the time.

How much for the trench art shell case?

Er, 120.

-(What?! What?!)

-Yes.

-OK. Maybe pass on that one, what do you think?

-Definitely.

-I'm all up for haggling, but that's a long way to go.

-Yeah.

Starting to like your glass vase more and more, funnily enough!

Now, what is that? It's probably too modern to be valuable, but well spotted.

-Thank you.

-Thanks.

-Thank you very much.

-What about the cavalier helmet?

-It's a re-enactor piece, isn't it?

-Exactly.

Who knows? We've got to start doing something here,

we've got to start spending money. You guys were drawn to it.

I'm trying to see a way that it can be made to work for you.

Is there anything here that you can see sense of?

The problem is things like medals can be good,

-but they'll be selling them at a high price.

-Indeed. But, here's a thought.

If he's got a British medal, and there are hundreds of thousands circulating,

you may be able to get a common-or-garden pair from the guy

to the Royal Artillery, the Engineers, for an easy sum, £30, £40.

In a general auction environment, you may get a casual browser go,

"£40 sounds like nothing for a pair of First World War vintage medals."

-There may be mileage in it.

-I'll do a pair for £25.

-Yeah.

-I'll do that for £35.

My advice? Six and two threes. That's not an antique, that's the problem with that.

But you get a hell of a lot of metal for your bucks.

We've seen these all before, but, at the money, in a general auction,

you could get some speculator, or just a casual buyer thinking,

"My word, that is no money. £50 for some chap's medals, what he went through and the story behind it."

-There may be mileage in it.

-Absolutely.

-I think we have more chance with the medals.

So, you're making a decision? This is good. It's up to you guys.

-I'm happy with that.

-I'm happy.

-Thanks for that.

-Cheers.

-Thanks very much.

Excellent, boys. That's your second item.

Paul, you're getting through to them.

What do you think of these, ladies?

These are Chinese, famille rose.

I would put them in the first half of the 19th century or very late 18th century.

They're quite early things. £90 they are.

-There's a little bit of a hairline crack.

-Yes, there is.

-Put your nail over it and you can't feel it.

-But it's there, isn't it?

It could be a firing flaw.

We've got a bit more time. But they are good early things.

-When you think they've been around all these years.

-That's right!

-I'm 83. I'm almost an antique myself!

-Maybe we'll buy you(!)

Oh, Lou-Lou-belle, you charmer!

Have a look at this. I love it. I love them.

Ah, OK. You might find you're looking at £300 worth there. I don't know, ask.

Er, they're £300 for the set.

-You can't afford them.

-No.

-Fine.

-That's pretty.

-Isn't it?

-Now, those are really quite early. They are Worcester, hand painted.

-Very nice.

-And first period, so that puts them around 1760, 1770.

-Gosh!

-They're old, then.

-They are.

-That is lovely.

-There are two of them here.

I suspect, with what we've got left, we won't be able to afford these.

But we might be able to afford one. I don't know.

You can buy one if you wish to.

-What's your best price on one of these?

-Er, it would have to be £100.

£100 for one?

It is hugely important that we pick the right one from the front. There's a bit of...

-..stain on that. So, a collector wouldn't like that.

-No.

The good news is that the enamels are really strong.

Often with these, the enamels, especially the gilding, comes off.

If I was going to choose one to display

and I like 18th-century English porcelain, I'd have that one, because that one is just...

-Every time you'd look at that, it would annoy you.

-Yeah, you're right.

-We'd go for that.

-We'll have that.

-I'm happy. That's great.

-Have we got a deal?

-Excellent.

-Yes?

-Thank you very much.

Girlies, you are done.

Boys, you better get your skates on.

Doesn't really jump out at me.

No, me neither.

-Five minutes.

-Five minutes. We've got to be quick.

I still like the glass.

I mean, it is a last resort.

Paul, you hated that vase!

Haven't you got anything else up your sleeve?

Silhouette of a Georgian gentleman, do anything for you?

What would you actually do with it?

-Have a look?

-I'm not sure about it.

-What are we talking about?

The World Cup Willies thing, it's a 1966 mascot.

It's a lot of money for what it is.

Yeah, I'm not even going to ask about the price.

-I think it's time for the glass.

-Glass?

-Yeah.

Paul thinks it's all over.

It is now.

Excuse me, what's the best price on that?

£11.

Can you go down to ten?

Tenner, done.

Unlucky, Paul.

Cheers, thanks very much.

So the brown vase won in the end.

Why don't we remind ourselves what the Red team bought?

'Paul spurred his team on to buy the Chinese stirrups.'

I think they're exquisite.

And at the price we paid, how badly wrong can you go?

The dawdling finally paid off with a pair of World War I medals.

-Thanks for that.

-Cheers.

'In the end, they made a mad dash for the glass vase for a tenner.'

Well, you're looking pretty cocky, you lot.

I don't know what you've got to be cocky about. How much did you spend?

-£75.

-Total? £75?

-Not a lot.

-That's a disgrace.

Where's the other £225?

OK, £225 in that roll.

What are you going buy in this splendiferous place?

I'd like to find something that resonated

with what I know about your taste.

On the other hand, just anything that will make a huge profit.

Never mind their taste.

Just something that you get the pulse for would be extremely fine.

Anyway, good luck with that task. Thank you very much, chaps.

Meanwhile, why don't we remind ourselves what the Blues bought, eh?

'Louise got them quickly into the game with the Chinese censor.'

I think you're looking at millionaires now!

'A set of six silver-plated foxy knife rests took their eye at £28.'

'And they all loved the Worcester plate at £100.'

I think the plate is a really good piece of early Worcester.

They got a good buy there.

'Ah, we'll see.'

How much did you spend?

-£278.

-Yes! That's what I like.

A big old expenditure. £278.

So, do I want £22?

£22 for our expert.

-It's not much copper.

-There we go.

You don't mind handing them over, do you?

Anyway, £22 goes to the maestro. Very good luck.

Meanwhile, we're heading off to Solgrave Manor.

Heard of it? It has a Yankee doodle flavour to it.

'That Yankee flavour comes from none other than George Washington,

'first ever President of the United States.'

George's ancestors built this modest Tudor manor house in 1560.

'They made their money in the wool trade

'and what's nice for the visitors today

'are all the needlework treasures to look at.'

And probably the most exquisite of all needleworked objects -

a frame like this.

It's made up exclusively

of needleworked elements,

all raised in tiny, tiny stitches

on a sort of padded background.

Now, this is called stumpwork.

It's the ultimate achievement of a needleperson

in the 17th century.

What's lovely about this mirror frame

is that it comes in its very own tooled leather travelling box,

so precious and highly regarded was this,

you want to protect it in its own special box.

Over here, we've got another piece of needlework

that looks exactly like the mirror frame.

It's also got stumpwork, look, a palace,

possibly a representation of the Palace of Nonesuch.

But in the middle,

we've got an oval painting on canvas showing Adam and Eve.

What's special about this item for Solgrave is that it belonged

to George Washington's great-great grandmother, Ann Phyllis.

The connections between America and this house remain firmly enmeshed.

The property was bought in 1914 by a trust,

who have maintained it and furnished it, permanently,

for the benefit of both the American and British people.

'The restoration carries on today, including this bed canopy.'

Strictly speaking, these are called crewel-worked hangings.

They're hangings which are needleworked in a variety of stitches

that are then applied, in this case, to a velvet background,

and this is the most extraordinary 20th century project

because it took some 11 years,

being completed between 1995 and 2006.

The work was done by over 500 skilled needleworkers

split more or less equally either side of the Atlantic.

Each of whom have worked on each on these individual pieces

that have then been applied to the velvet background

going to make up the four-poster bed coverings.

It was done simply as a celebration

of the glories of Solgrave Manor.

What could be more glorious?

Well, apart from the prospect of our teams today

making enormous profits, perhaps, over at the auction.

'Which, today, is at Golding Young Thomas Mawer in Grantham.'

'Auctioneer Colin Young awaits us.'

Now, first up for Dominic and Andy are these stirrups.

I don't know how these grab you,

but I'm really rather excited by the look of these objects.

Cast bronze, and they seem to have the age to them.

Undoubtedly 19th century at the very latest.

My gut feeling is that they're probably even 18th century.

-What do you think they're worth?

-I suppose £50-£80.

Is that all?

Well, that's not impressed then!

Well, £40 the team paid.

They paid, in my view,

less than the scrap value of the bronze in the things.

-Right.

-So if we've got some age and we're romantically excited by them,

£50 to £80 ought to be a right "come-on" estimate.

Next we have two service medals.

How do you rate those, Colin?

The market for these in recent times has shot up.

For so long, pairings such as this made so little money.

Now, they're being recognised. The market is getting stronger

and we're starting to get some sensible prices for them.

Like what?

In today's market you're certainly looking at £30 to £50.

That's marvellous, £25 they paid. They'll be really chuffed.

Lastly is this smoky, moulded glass vase.

Mmm.

1930s?

Yeah, very typical of the period.

It is popular, but it just doesn't make a lot of money.

No, like how much?

£10 to £30.

-£10 is all they paid.

-OK.

So it slightly depends on how the stirrups work out.

What fun.

Let's have a look at the bonus buy.

Now Andy and Dom, this is the moment we're going to discover

what Paul Laidlaw spent your £225 of leftover lolly on.

I mean £225, the man could have gone out there and bought the fair.

What's he laughing at?

I found a mangy old pair of binoculars in a box.

HE CACKLES

However, you guys, there was a military interest somewhere in the background

and I know we invested shrewdly

in an extremely unexciting pair of medals,

which will make you money.

These are imperial German fernglas, 1908 pattern,

standard military issue field glasses or binoculars.

Get away!

-These really do it for me. This is history.

-How much did you pay for them?

Straight in there, Dom!

Straight in there!

If you want to buy a pair of these over the counter,

you're going to need £40, £50, £60. And you paid?

-£10.

-10?!

-No need to be shy about it. 10.

-Sounds like a bargain.

-They are a gift at £10.

I didn't think you'd be as tight with your wallet as we've been.

Oh, believe!

There you've got it, boys.

Your moment to decide is after the sale of your first three items.

Let's find out what the auctioneer thinks about Paul's field glasses.

What's your vision with these?

Looks like something that will do rather well.

-What's on the horizon with them?

-Monetary wise £25 to £40.

Well, Laidlaw, the legend, paid £10 for them.

-How brilliant is the man?

-Very good.

-That's it for the Reds.

Now, for the Blues, the Chinese bronze censor,

what period would this be then?

It's likely to be early 19th century, possibly late 18th.

But the six-character mark on the bottom of it is Xian Di,

the Emperor that reigned for a short period in the early 15th century.

-So it's looking as if it's 15th century.

-It is.

But 300 or 400 years later. So what's it worth?

-We have an estimate of £80 to £120.

-£150 paid.

-Yeah.

-Next up, the cased set of knife rests.

Look like sausage dogs to me.

They're probably foxes. You see plenty of them.

-Just good decoration, really.

-How much?

-£25 to £40.

£28 paid. We're not far off.

Lastly is the decorated plate, which is said to be creamware.

-It looks a bit porcelainy to me.

-It does.

It has more of a pearly finish to the glaze.

I would more likely go with pearlware.

Dating is early 19th century, most probably English.

It's just sad to say that they don't make so much money as they used to.

One of those collectors markets that the finest pieces are racing along,

but something such as that, £25 to £40 I've placed on it.

-How much?

-£25 to £40.

-That's terrible. £100 paid for it.

-That is terrible.

-That is terrible.

They're going to need their bonus buy. Let's have a look at it.

Well, girls, this is exciting, you spent £278, you're so great.

-You only gave him £22.

-Jeremy, what did you spend it on?

I spent a tenner.

-GIRLS: Ah!

-A blue and white plate, of course.

-It's about 1790 to 1810.

-Gosh!

-Not bad for £10.

-No, that is good.

Staffordshire potters tried to make a Chinese scene to imitate

Chinese-export porcelain flooding into the country at the time.

Do you think it's going to make us a huge profit?

-I think at £10 you can't really go wrong.

-No.

-It might make £22.

-Well!

I think you've lit up our effervescent girls, which is lovely.

For the audience at home, let's find out what the auctioneer thinks about Jeremy's blue and white plate.

-So, Colin, one plate.

-Yeah.

-Do you rate that plate?

For starters I've placed an estimate on of £25 to £40,

so I did quite rate it.

But I must admit now having seen this wonderful pearl finish to the glaze,

in the light, there's a big crack through it just there.

-So I think I may have to revise my estimate.

-You're going to de-rate it?

-£10 to £20.

-£10 paid by Jeremy.

Anything more than a £10 note would be brilliant.

-It's going to be lucky, I think.

-You're a lucky auctioneer. Thanks, Colin.

270, 280, 290, 300, 20 anywhere else? At 300.

GAVEL BANGS

-Boys, how are you feeling?

-Good.

-Confident.

-What do you think about those stirrups?

-It's an unknown quantity.

I wasn't sure about them. I thought we were straight-armed a bit.

But the more I see them, the more I like them.

Lot number 176 - a pair of antique, Asian, bronze stirrups,

modelled as shoes, probably Chinese.

Who will start me at £100? I'm already to £50 on the net.

Five now, surely. Look at what we're selling here. At £50.

Five from any other quarter?

At £50 we're all done. 55, I knew it wouldn't be long.

60, they're up to 65 already they're up to 67.

At 67 then, nobody else going to dip in? 75 we're up to.

What is the stop going to finish up at £1800?

95.

If there's a man out there, or two, that rate them.

The excitement's up, now. 110.

-At 110 bid.

-Strong now.

-I'm glad we were strong armed.

-You can strong arm me more often

if you're going to get me this much money.

Going at 130.

All done and finished then. The hammer's going to fall at £130.

£130.

Well done, Paul Laidlaw. All right.

So that gives you plus £90.

That's a fantastic profit.

Now, here we go. Here comes your medal.

Word War I medal - an Allied Victory Medal,

for a gunner Crossly of the Royal Artillery.

Who's going to start me at £50? £30 to go then. £30, anybody?

30? £20, 20 bid. Make it two.

-Five bid.

-28, 30, 32...

-Look at this.

-38 now, 35,

38, surely,

40 again now.

At 38 bid. 40 again now.

This is profit.

At 38 bid, any more bidders? Going this time on the internet at £38.

Except we're in at £40.

£42 again now.

Selling then. The hammer falls at £40.

That is plus £15.

Nothing the matter with that. You are plus £105.

£105, chaps!

Now, we want a small profit on this, please.

A Davidson brown cloud glass vase, nice fluted side to it.

Who going to put me straight in at £10? £10, anybody?

£10 to go. Just look at what we're selling here. £10.

£10 at the back of the room. 12 now. £10 now, 12 do I see?

Make it £11 then. At £10.

You can't say I didn't try. All done and finished,

selling then at £10.

Wiped his face, fair enough.

You are plus £105.

Are you going to risk £10 on the binoculars?

Yeah, definitely. Absolutely.

Is it a no brainer? I think it's a no brainer, don't you?

Trust this man, whatever you do. Trust him.

182 pair of imperial German Fern glass 08 binoculars this time.

Start me at £50 for them, £30 to go. £20, £10 if we have to.

10 on the net. 10 bid. 2, surely?

At 10 bid, 12 bid, 15 bid, 15 surely.

Up to 18. 20 again now. At 18,

20, anywhere else? 22 now.

At 22 and five?

Selling all done at £22.

Well done. Another solid £12 profit. Thank you very much.

You are plus £117 overall.

Now that is what they call a result.

You'll have to give up your degree and go into antiquing.

Now, PhDing, forget it.

Anyway, the answer is don't say a word to the blues, all right? No point in ruining their day.

So how are you predicting the outcome?

Are you going thrash them?

-We hope so.

-We would like to thrash them.

-We would really like to.

-I think we've some nice items.

-Yes, I think we have.

-No regrets about what you've bought?

No, absolutely not.

First up is the Chinese censor and here it comes.

Lot 197 Chinese bronze censor or incense burner.

This is a big deal. This is your big hope.

What shall we say for this?

Who's going to start me at, well start me at £100 for it?

£100, 80 to go then.

50 bid. 60 now, do I see?

50 bid, I'll take five if we have to.

55. 60. And 5? 65.

Bid 70? 5 now?

-Keep going.

-80, 85 now.

90, 5? 95 bid.

100, 110 now? Surely.

At £100 we're on the market at £100.

Last call then, selling at £100.

Oh, £100, bad luck.

It never paid off. Minus £50.

-Oh, heck!

-Now for the knife rests. Here you go.

Set of six modern silver plated knife rests modelled as foxes.

£30 anybody? £20, £10? Bid.

12, 15, 18, 20, 22,

25, 28 now.

25 bid. 28 and 30 now.

32, 35 now.

38 now. 40. 42 now?

No. Net buyer has them at 40. Selling this time at £40.

-That's plus £12.

-I can't believe that.

Now here comes your plate.

Good English early 19th century creamware plate.

Who will start me at £50?

30 to go, then, surely.

£20 if we have to?

£10, surely, nobody wants it.

Ten, I'm bid.

12 now, surely. Look at what we're selling,

-12 anywhere else, maiden bid has it, are we going this time at £10.

-Ooh!

That is minus £90.

£90!

90 smackers.

Minus £100....

Not so good that, is it?

-Minus £128. Just as well it's our money not yours.

-It is!

That's why they're looking so jolly about it. What are we going to do about the bonus buy then?

-We're going to have to take it.

-It's all gone terribly wrong so far.

-We better go with it.

We're going to go with the bonus buy

and I don't blame you going with the bonus buy cos things are otherwise looking very dire.

-Very bleak.

-Going with the bonus buy, here it comes.

19th century pearlware plate in the Chinese island pattern.

Who's going to start me at £30?

30? £20 to go, then. £10 to go, then.

£5? Thank you.

5, 6, 8, 10, 12,

-Oh, double figures.

-10 at the back of the room.

12 anywhere else now? I'll take 11. 11 is the last call.

We sell then. Gentleman's bid at £10.

And it's wiped its face.

No profit, no loss. But no shame either, Jeremy, so that's good.

-Well done.

-So there we are. Minus £128. There's no point bursting into tears about this.

Just go out looking terribly confident and don't say a word to those boys.

No, we won't.

-Good fun. Thank you.

-Thanks.

Well, well, well.

Teams, been chatting?

-No.

-No talking about the score?

-Not at all.

-Perhaps that's just as well because there is a chasm between our two teams today.

Without beating about the bush, I'm afraid the blues are on the wrong side of the chasm.

LAUGHTER

-Let's not go into the score!

-No need to say that bit.

£128, then. If I just leave it at that, as a minus score.

I've never known such bubbly and enthusiastic people on the wrong side of the chasm.

See what I mean? You've been fabulous.

I hope you've had as good a time as you've given us.

-We've had a brilliant time.

-Thank you very much.

In adversity, you have taken it all on the chin.

Thank you very much, blues,

because the reds are going home with £117 of real money.

And how you have been able to be mum and not tell these girls about this

great victory of yours, I don't know really.

It was quite difficult.

-I bet it was, Dom. Have you enjoyed it?

-Absolutely.

-It's been brilliant. Opponents have been great fun as well.

-Yeah, bless their hearts.

We've had a fabulous time.

-Join us soon for more bargain hunting, yes?

-Yes!

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