Ardingly 27 Bargain Hunt

Today, we're at the South of England Showground,

which attracts 200,000 people per annum at its various events.

But today, we're here for the Antiques and Collectables fair.

So...let's go bargain hunting!

This showground is also host

to the south of England agricultural flagship event.

Let's hope our teams today are going to be able

to milk a profit later over at the auction.

Moo!

Coming up on today's show, the Reds get up to all sorts of mischief.

Whoo!

-And the Blues are quick to embrace trouble, too.

-Kama Sutra?

Have you picked up the naughty piece?

Oh, it is the Kama Sutra. My gosh!

-My eyes have gone a bit funny.

-Ha-ha!

But will they be able to see straight down at the auction?

Go on!

-THEY LAUGH

-Whoo-hoo!

'Before all that, let's meet the teams.'

Joining us today are a quartet of colourful contestants.

For the Reds, we've got Fred and Chi-Chi.

And for the Blues, we've got Lisa and Dickie. Welcome, everybody.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-How lovely to see you.

So, Chi-Chi, did you run away as a youngster to join the circus?

Oh, no. Fred's my dad. So I started performing with Fred when I was about three.

-Oh, Lord!

-I know. I had a little dog costume.

I used to chase Fred across the circus ring

with a spider at the end of a stick

and he would jump up onto a slack rope.

-It's not true.

-Chi-Chi has been keen on performing since a tender age.

-A very tender age.

-And how long have you been at it?

Good gracious! Many, many years.

I started when I was about 14.

And I'm now at a much more mature stage.

Tell us about your circus.

Well, Fred's Flying Circus.

We travel all over the country and we...Ah! I should point out,

we do have Henry, the world's only mind-reading dog.

-Is he with you?

-He's not with us today. He's practising at home.

Is he? What is his prediction as to your chances on Bargain Hunt?

Have you asked him?

Well, I did enquire this morning and he went, "Ruff!"

THEY LAUGH

-Now, tell us about your tattoos.

-Ah.

Well, in fact, I started off by having all my tattoos before my dad.

-She led me astray.

-People would think it was the other way around,

but no, I had my first ones done when I was 18.

It goes all across my chest.

And then Fred liked the look of them and he got some done, too.

-And we both have Showtime on our fingers.

-Which is appropriate.

-Indeed.

-Now, you haven't told us,

Chi-Chi, what your speciality in the circus is.

Well, my absolute passion at the moment is hula-hooping.

I just really love it.

Well, funnily enough, we happen to have got a few hula hoops with us.

-You're not going to give us a demo with all those?

-All 30.

What? All 30? This is ridiculous!

-All right, let's go for all of them.

-Hang on a minute.

-They're a bit heavy.

-I bet they are. OK.

Whoopsie! Ooo!

My gosh! Look at that!

Oh, my...! Watch out, Dad! That is something else, isn't it?

-A big round of applause.

-A round of applause for that.

That is absolutely amazing! Was that fun?

Yeah, it's really good fun. Do you want a go?

No, thank you. I don't think I could manage one. You are brilliant.

-Good luck in today's programme.

-Thank you very much.

Now, for the Blues. Was that not the most extraordinary process?

-That was impressive.

-Very impressive.

-Jolly clever, isn't it?

So, you're what I call the rock and roll husband and wife team.

-Are you a bit of a crazy couple?

-I'd say we are.

I first met Lisa...

Well, I knew her from parties we used to go to, dance parties.

-Oh, yes?

-A bit of raving and stuff.

One New Year's Eve, I proposed to her in the middle of the pub,

got down on my knees.

-It was a rock and roll wedding, wasn't it?

-Yeah, it was.

-We had three bands play at our wedding.

-It must've been a riot.

So, Lisa, what do you do for your living?

I work now as an office administrator

for a horticultural online company.

And you still look after the family.

Look after the family, yes. Two teenage girls at home.

-You can't have any time for hobbies.

-Love it!

Yes. Charity shops are my main hobby. Yes, yes, I love it.

I can't pass through a town without visiting the charity shops.

-Do you ever find anything any good?

-Ooo, yes! Definitely.

The Reds are going to be quaking when they hear this.

But on that happy note, I'm going to give you your £300.

There's your £300. You know the rules.

Your experts await, and off you go! And very, very, very good luck.

Do you know something? I've always fancied a bit of a hula hoop myself.

But it'll have to wait.

Because here to teach the Reds a few tricks is Catherine Southon.

Oh! You big cheat!

And happy to do a few rounds with the Blues is David Harper.

And the hour...starts now.

Starting the stopwatch now.

Starting the stopwatch now. Right!

-I think we're going to walk up that way.

-Which one?

-I think straight up.

-OK.

-Excited?

-Oh, very excited.

-There's a real spring in your step.

Ah, yes, indeed.

-What are we going to be looking for?

-Anything.

-Anything.

-Anything? Just to make money?

-Yes.

-Is it all about the money?

-It is all about the money.

-Fantastic!

-In one hour. Come on.

-Bargains, please.

-Let's go shopping.

-Yes.

-Yes. Let's.

What about these little blue spoons?

Oh, they're quite pretty. Norwegian. They're enamel on the back.

Quite tired, don't you think?

-Well loved.

-Aren't we all?

-I wouldn't pay any more than about £30 for that.

-OK.

-Go and do your stuff.

-Chi-Chi, go on.

-SHE LAUGHS

-You do it!

We're not going to get anywhere today if you two aren't going to...

Good morning. We were just wondering how much this would be.

-The little enamel spoons?

-Yeah.

Er...£140.

-£40. I think...

-140, sorry.

-Oh, £140.

Yeah. Well, I'm not surprised. They're lovely, aren't they?

Never mind, chaps. Onwards and upwards.

Now, how about one of your five a day?

Oh, look! I think that's just so cute.

-It's funky, isn't it? Any mark?

-I don't think so.

-So an unknown maker.

-But it's so cute.

Oh, hang on, that's Carlton Ware.

Carlton Ware. So it's a little earlier than the '60s, that one.

Made in England, so that's probably more '30s.

Carlton Ware, a very well-known maker. Good quality.

I really like that. That appeals to my '60s, '50s kitsch.

-So you've got, what's that?

-That's a pepper, I would've thought. Salt.

-And whatever you want to put in there. That looks like an onion.

-Hi.

-So the Carlton Ware set, what kind of money is that?

-£35.

-Is that the absolute best for it?

-Would you take £25?

Ooh, that would be lovely.

-I'll do £30.

-Are you going to have it?

-Yes. Thank you.

-Shake his hand.

-How lovely. Thank you very much. Thank you.

-Thank you very much.

-Very good of you. Thank you.

Gosh, no messing about with these Blues.

Talking of messing about...

-Whoo!

-THEY LAUGH

-Your ticker all right there, Fred?

-What do you think?

-I'll be all right in a minute.

-You hate snakes!

-He's got a fear of snakes.

-It's all right. I'm...Yeah, it's lovely.

-This is right up your street, isn't it?

-Yes. Thank you very much.

How much is on it?

-£45.

-No!

-£45?

-Would you not take £20 on it?

-I can't, I don't think.

-£20 would be lovely.

It would, wouldn't it?

There you go. Snake in a box.

I paid £25. So I can make a fiver on £30.

We'll think on that, then.

It's certainly an item which grabs your attention.

Speaking of which...

Do you fancy going clubbing?

Well, that's what I thought a couple of days ago

when I was filming over at Detling

and that is when I acquired this little baby.

Isn't it magnificent?

Well, I think so.

What we've got here is a bit of root wood, probably from a thorn.

And what we've got here is the bit that was buried,

that somebody yanked out of the hedgerow

and then attacked with a machete.

Roughly chasing and cutting off

the shaggy root bowl,

giving us this slightly angular and oddball end to the club.

And, of course, it could practically do some serious damage.

Anyway, I spotted a dealer who was dealing in clubs

and other ethnographic objects and I showed him this.

I said to him, "What do you think?"

He said, "I'm not going to tell you about that

"until I've told you about my club".

And he brought out his club.

Ha! Which is pretty different to mine.

This, apparently, is North American Indian

and it's been made using an ovoid stone,

which is attached to a longish stick.

Now, the attachment is the fascinating bit.

Because they've got no metals,

what he's done is to take the skin of an animal

and whip that, effectively, around the stone.

And then cover it in an outer skin.

And that's all done when the skin's wet.

When the skin dries, it shrinks

and the shrinkage secures the stone

so that you can use it as a club.

It apparently dates from about 1830-1840

and it's worth £300-£500.

And then he said that my club

might be worth as much as £100-£150

on account of its wonderful colour and patternation.

So there you have it.

We're now going clubbing together.

But first, let's see what the Reds have hit upon.

I think this is a record player.

And I think these are the speakers.

-Oh, wow!

-Off the end, you see?

-Ooh!

-Oh, Fred's excited!

-Is he?

-I love things like this. Look at that!

I had a similar one when I was very little.

I would've said this was...

It sounds like I know what I'm talking about!

-Go on, tell me about it.

-I would've said it's late '50s.

-Yeah. It's great. I love the colour.

-It's a gorgeous thing.

-It's got a nice retro look.

-Hm. Retro.

What was your song of the time in the '50s?

Well, I was born, actually... SHE LAUGHS

-Thank you.

-I did know that!

I was born in '57. Moving swiftly on.

Yes. Let's talk money.

-£35. I could probably do it for...

-£20?

-..£27.

That's a funny number.

£27 is a very strange number. £25 sort of sounds more...

£27 is nice. I know you're going to say £25.

-Is that how it's done?

-Yeah.

How about £26?

-I don't know, £27 sounds fine to me.

-I'll take £25.

-I think that'll make £40.

-Then let's buy it.

-Let's get it.

We would like to purchase your Radiola, sir.

Thank you very much.

Manly shake. There you are, sir.

-Said you had a bargain.

-Nice doing business with you, sir.

But will it make a profit at auction?

Harper thinks he's found something that will.

-Do you like that?

-Yes.

-What's it made of?

-Jade? Or plastic?

-Is it jade? Is it jade?

-Do you know who the figure is?

-No. A goddess of something.

She is a goddess. Well done. It's a Buddhistic goddess.

And she is called Guanyin.

The Buddhistic Goddess of Mercy.

The Chinese worship her, the Japanese worship her.

She's always popular because she's beautiful, long,

elegant, she's the Goddess of Mercy,

she's holding the lotus flower. She's got everything going.

But to test what kind of stone she is,

you need something sharp, ideally a penknife. I'll use a coin.

If she's jade, we can take a penknife and try and cut into her

and it wouldn't leave a scratch.

If she's soapstone, it will scratch.

She is scratching, so it's a softer stone.

-How much is she?

-£150.

-£150.

I am taken with her. I mean, look...Oh, gosh!

-Does she stand out?

-Look!

-Oh, that is gorgeous!

-Oh, come on!

-That is gorgeous.

-Oh, yes.

She's a lot of money at £150. Can she be substantially cheaper?

Ha-ha! Not substantially.

-One and a quarter.

-One and a quarter. 125.

-Are we going to have her?

-I think so. She is beautiful.

Which is more than I can say for Catherine's find.

That's what jumps out at me, your little mouse.

It's Schuco. Aw! He's quite nice, isn't he?

How much is he, by the way? Er...

-He's got to be cheap, hasn't he?

-£28.

-£28?

-How do you come up with...?

-Oh!

-Shouldn't he have a tail?

-Don't mice have tails?

-They do.

That's a very good point.

-Ooo!

-Oh! Oh!

-It does that.

THEY LAUGH

It's the wind.

I've got your mouse all wet now.

-He's all right.

-He's all right.

-He's lasted this long.

That's a no, then, for the wet, tail-less mouse.

One rodent rejected, how about a dry tortoise instead?

-BUZZING

-Oh! Very nice.

A really nice Edwardian porter's bell.

Mother of pearl. Original. Beautiful.

How do you stop it, then?

-Put your...

-I know, I know. That's it.

So you...Ah, I see. Yes. That's a very nice thing.

It is. And it is what it is.

It's Edwardian, it's a porter's bell,

it's mother of pearl.

There's no damage on it. And it is exactly what it is.

-Is he cheap?

-I'll do £90.

-There's definitely an owner in that.

-I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. There's something about the way he sits.

It's a tortoise. It's got to sit like that!

If you had a shell on your back, you'd be sitting like that!

We had a tortoise. He went a bit mad.

I can't stop myself!

-He's so much fun, isn't he?!

-Ring the bell now!

-RINGS BELL

Sounds great! I'd like him for 60, ideally. That's what I'd like him for.

How long have we got left?

15 minutes.

Can we hold onto it for 15 minutes? Would you mind?

-Thank you.

-Hold him in your hand, don't put him down.

-OK.

BELL RINGS

-You enjoy him!

-Fantastic. All right.

-We'll be back within 15. Thanks.

Righty-ho, let's trot on.

I don't think Lisa's very keen on that tortoise!

But time's getting on.

Oh, hang on. What's Fred found?

-So if you just push there, and it just... Oooh!

-Oooh!

You see, I told you!

-Oh no, that is lovely.

-Right up your street, Fred.

-Gorgeous.

The straps are all there, unbroken.

I'll say nothing, or I'll go round buying everything!

You saw it! And it is lovely. I'm really with you on this.

-Do you agree with me?

-Absolutely.

-I think it's gorgeous.

The only thing I'm slightly concerned about is that it's just

a fraction too much money, that's all.

-What's on it?

-£70.

-That's OK, we can get it down.

-You think we can get it down?

-Yes.

-If we can get it down, definitely.

-I think it's gorgeous.

-I think we should give it a bit of a try.

Hold it, love it, feel it.

-Oooh!

-Oh, 170!

Oh, 170!

-Well, that was a waste of time.

-Oh, Fred!

-Ah, Fred.

-OK. Well, that's the end of that, then.

-Well, we could just ask.

-Well, you could!

-What is your absolute...

We actually thought it said 70, and that's why we got excited.

-90 is my absolute bottom.

-You couldn't come to 80?

-OK. 80.

-That's it.

-OK, let's go for it, then.

-Let's go for it.

-Three claps.

-Three claps.

-OK.

Followed by dancing round a handbag! I've seen it all now!

-It's the Kama Sutra.

-Kama Sutra!

-Is it really?!

-You picked up the naughty piece?

-Oh, it is the Kama Sutra, my gosh!

-My eyes have gone a bit funny!

-SHE LAUGHS

I take it back - I clearly haven't seen it all!

-This is daytime viewing, by the way!

-The other side's even worse!

-Do you know what it's for?

-No, I don't know.

It's Japanese and it's made out of bone, and it's called an inro.

And it's to hold tobacco or medicines, or snuff.

So you've got three compartments there.

And the Japanese don't have pockets, they just have belts.

And you'd have a netsuke attached to the cord here, which then in turn

would attach to your belt and your inro would hang from your kimono.

-Oh, beautiful.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-They're very collectable.

-Is it collectable even with the naughty pictures?

I think the naughty pictures add a little something, don't they?!

-I was going to say, it probably...

-I like that, a lot.

-It is very rude, I've got to tell you!

-It is very rude.

-Very rude!

-It is.

-Is that too rude?

-What kind of price is the very rude inro?!

-£45.

-45.

-But if you want it, I can give you a good price.

-OK, what's the good price, then?

-40?

-40.

Well, I think it's absolutely wild. It's got some age to it. Probably 1920s.

And probably something that was bought as a tourist piece.

I don't actually believe it's ever been used as an inro

for a Japanese person. I don't.

-OK, let's get a really, really good price.

-OK, 30.

-30?

-I think you've got to have it for 30.

-I think so.

We'll have it for 30. Thank you very much indeed. Thank you.

I wonder what the bidders will make of that?! But three down.

Well done, Blues.

-We've got five minutes.

-Five minutes!

-I think we should run.

And with five minutes left, the Reds have made a decision.

Have you still got your snake?

-Right, what were we saying? How much is it?

-30 quid's the best.

-Can you go any lower at all?

-No, I'd make nothing on it, otherwise.

-Can't do 25?

-That's what I paid.

They can entertain you. They are circus entertainers.

No pressure, Fred!

-Erm...

-Don't hurt yourself, though!

Oh. God!

Hang on. BARKS LIKE A SEAL

-There! That's worth a fiver off!

-Got to be worth a fiver!

-Oooh!

-Oooh!

-Where did they come from?!

-It's all right, I've got them.

-Da da da da!

-Rat ta ta ta ta!

-Hup!

-Hey!

Still not enough. Still not impressed.

He's still not impressed, I'm afraid!

-We have about two minutes.

-30 quid it is.

Five quid is a cup of tea!

Thank you, director, two minutes left!

-We're running out... We shall...

-We're running out of time!

-40 quid now.

-We'll buy it. Sold, sir!

-It's yours.

Well, just like that, it's all over!

Time's up. Let's remind ourselves what the Reds bought, eh?

Fred was happy to pay £25 for this Radiola,

which took him back to his childhood days.

Our travelling circus, appropriately,

bought a travelling bag as their second purchase at £80.

And finally, a snake-in-a-book jumped out and bit them, for £30.

-They were all fun things.

-Well, Catherine, you must have had a colourful time?

It was wonderful, absolutely sublime.

-So, what did you spend all round?

-We spent £135.

-May I have £165 left-over lolly, please?

-Yes, I have it in my pocket.

Good, thank you. That goes straight to Catherine.

-Thank you!

-So, Catherine, that's a lot. What're you going to do?

I'll buy something fun and entertaining, just like you!

Well, you're well qualified on the fun and entertaining stakes

after today's performance! Good luck.

Meanwhile, why don't we remind ourselves of what the Blue team bought, eh?

This novelty cruet set caught Lisa's eye,

but at £30, will there be tears at the auction?

Lisa and David were particularly keen on this carved figure

of Guanyin, but it cost them £125.

And they all really liked the inro decorated with couples "embracing".

-You're the rudest team, I think, on earth!

-No!

-You're a bad influence!

-Rudery! I wouldn't say rudery! Certainly not prudery, anyway!

-No.

-It's art!

-It is art.

-So, Tricky Dickie, what did you spend all round?

-£185.

-Magnificent.

-So, £115 of left-over lolly. Who's got the dosh?

-Me, I've got it.

-Well done, lovely. And that is going across to our man.

-Thank you.

-And he's a devil when he gets hold of the cash like this!

-Good!

-That's what we like!

-These two are the devils, I assure you!

-Yeah, well, it's kept you on your toes today, mate!

-Made my day!

Well, I'm glad you've enjoyed yourselves.

Let's hope this ribaldry has been successful and good luck with you now, David, good luck, team.

Meanwhile, we're heading off to Stansted.

Not a runway in sight, because this one is just outside Chichester.

Yes, Stansted Park lies astride the Hampshire-Sussex border.

An ancient hunting estate, the first Stansted House was built in 1688.

But in 1900, when it was owned by one George Wilder,

it was completely gutted and devastated by fire.

But, undeterred, Wilder simply pressed on and built another

magnificent house on the foundations of the earlier one.

And what a good job he did.

In 1924, Stansted was purchased by the 9th Earl of Bessborough

to house the family collection of furniture and works of art,

which remain here to this day.

One of the nice things about rebuilding your house in 1903

was that, apart from having the replaced grandeur of the rooms

and period style, you could also have brand new,

cutting edge bits of technology.

Like this way good Otis lift.

Which is certainly not fitted up in any ordinary way.

What we've got here is fancy oak panelling with pilasters

and Ionic capitals.

Bevelled mirroring.

Even a padded folding seat in case you get tired going up or down.

But what's it to be today? Upstairs or downstairs?

I think we'll go and see how the other half lived. Don't you?

And it's a very smooth and short ride down here to the servants' quarters.

The only problem being that if you were a servant,

you weren't, apparently, allowed to use the lift.

You still had to use the stairs.

However, thanks to the fire, the domestic staff did get to work

in one of the last first-rate servants' quarters

to be built in the UK.

Almost unchanged since their completion,

the kitchen alone would have been staffed by up to 15 servants.

This bell box is also incredibly high-tech early 20th century.

For years, servants had been summoned to the upstairs room by bells.

But by 1903, we got low voltage electrically powered

bell-summoning systems.

Actually, only one bell at the top.

Which would ring like that if, for example, Lady Bessborough,

in her bathroom, required her maid.

She pressed the electric push switch up there, which electrically

would ring the bell and then a little eye would drop in that hole.

The servants down here would hear the bell, come out, have a look

at which room required attention, and hey presto, they'd be off.

Of course, the below-stairs quarters served as both a workplace

and a home.

The butler, at the head of the servants,

was allowed the best accommodation.

And here in the boot room,

the butler would be ironing today's newspaper so that his lordship

receives a perfectly smooth copy upstairs with his breakfast.

And the footman would be busy in this room attending to the family's shoes.

And what a vast array they had!

There's a lot of work going on in here!

And where did the footman sleep? Well, right next door, of course.

But unlike the butler, they didn't get their very own bedroom.

What they got was a space, divided up into three cubicles.

So not exactly private. In fact, they all had to scrum in together.

From the 1920s, domestic service became a steadily declining occupation,

due to various social changes such as minimum wage legislation,

male servants being called up to fight in World War II,

and increased opportunities for women in the workplace.

Life below-stairs was never to be the same again.

The story of footman, Ken Dole, is a case in point.

Ken came to work at Stansted in 1939.

As a footman, he waited at table, he cleaned a lot of things

and he dashed about a lot.

And he also, shortly afterwards, joined the RAF.

He survived the Second World War and imagine his amazement

when he returned to Stansted, 49 years later,

when the place is open to the public,

only to discover his footman's uniform - the very one -

still hanging in this room where he slept.

How extraordinary is that!

The big question today is, of course,

how many hang-ups are our teams likely to have over at the auction?

Today we're at Bellman's Auction Rooms at Wisborough Green,

just a couple of miles from Billingshurst,

still in West Sussex, and with JP, Jonathan Pratt.

-A legend!

-Well, after all that, Tim, thank you!

-How are you, all right?

-Very good.

-Lovely to be here. Now, Fred and Chi-Chi have come up with some extraordinary objects,

including this record player. How do you rate that?

There's a retro thing with records, I suppose.

But record players like this, would it work? Would you trust plugging it in?

I think it's come from a house which, there's a certain air,

a whiff off it....

-Is there?

-There is. That might put one or two people off.

-You're thinking it's cat?

-Could be! Do you know, I don't really like it.

-What's it worth?

-£10, £15.

-OK, £25 they paid. Next is the leather case.

Obviously it's designed for carrying a whole host of stuff,

bursting at the seams, you know, all the clothing and everything like that.

-Swag.

-Yeah! Well, actually, the bag weighs a ton anyway!

-If it gets £20, I'll be pleased.

-Is that all?

-Yeah, £20, £30.

Well they paid 80. So that's another...

I think there's not a chance

All right. Well, that's honest! Next is the jack-in-a-box.

Well, it's a snake-in-a-box. A marvellous thing.

It's a boa... restrictor!

But, perished.

Three more boings out of the box and that will be no more, will it?

I mean, it has the desired effect. When I was cataloguing it,

I managed to catch one of the porters out with it!

-I took it on a talk...

-Did you?

Yeah, yeah. And the old ladies in the front row nearly wet themselves!

So, it's been on tour,

and your overall reaction for the snake-in-the-box is what?

-£10 or £15.

-Is it? £30 paid.

I think Fred and Chi-Chi are going to be jolly lucky if they come away

with a profit and they're going to need their bonus buy, so let's go and have a look at it.

Now, you two, I bet you're longing to know what Catherine bought you, aren't you?

-Yes.

-Well, you did give her £165, which is enough for any fair maid.

-What did you come up with, baby?

-Ready?

-Ready.

-Ooh!

We need a drum-roll!

OK, chaps.

-Tsh!

-Ooh!

-Right.

-What is it?

-Gentleman's travelling scent bottle.

-Ooh!

-Course it is.

-I think it's nicely made, it's faceted.

-I like the pouch.

Nice little leather case.

So, um... THEY LAUGH

You're not underwhelmed here, are you, Fred?

-There's not a lot you say about that.

-It's lovely.

-But I only paid a mere £33 for it.

-Oh!

-Oh, OK. Wow.

-That's in the bank then.

-We'll have one of them, won't we?

-Yeah.

-That looks all right. We'll have that.

-We like that a lot.

-We like that?

-Yeah...

-We aim to please.

-Don't we?

Now listen, you guys. You may not need to go with your bonus buy because you may have done

-so dazzlingly well with your first three items...

-That's true.

You don't want to risk the vast profit you've made

but if things don't go to plan, you have that to fall back on.

But for the audience at home,

let's find out how happy the auctioneer is with her little flask.

-Now, Jonathan, I know you're partial to a bit of leather.

-THEY CHUCKLE

-Oh, you've heard!

-Yes. So how do you rate that?

-Well, the leather looks rather good, a bit of colour to it.

-There you are, told you so!

I don't know, this is just chrome plated.

-You'd like to see a bit of silver there, better quality.

-Faceted glass bottle.

Anyway, there we are, it is what it is. It's Catherine's fave.

-How do you rate it, money-wise?

-Er...

-£20-30.

-Fine.

-£30 plus, she'll be delighted with you.

-It has a chance of that.

-You might get there.

And now for something completely different.

-The Carlton Ware vegetable cruet.

-It's kind of fun, I quite like it.

-Yeah.

I wouldn't necessarily perhaps want to dish it out at home

-but, you know, it's a novelty object, it can be used.

-Yeah.

-So...£20-40.

-Perfect, £30 paid.

-Brilliant.

-Can't complain about that, can you?

-No.

Moving on then, we've got the standing figure next.

-Guanyin is the lady, I think.

-She's a goddess, isn't she?

-She's a goddess, yes.

-Yeah.

But, you know, it's rather badly carved, isn't it?

-I'd still say it's worth £30 or £50.

-How much?

-£30-50.

-Is that all?

-HE LAUGHS

-Oh, really?

-Yeah, cos David Harper, he really enthused about this

-and paid £125 for it.

-(Whoo, OK!)

-This is embarrassing!

-Not half as embarrassing as the next object, because before the threshold

-I'm not too sure we can show this in every intimate detail.

-OK, right, yes. This chappie here.

-This is the brand-new inro.

-OK.

-In the erotic style.

-I'm going to carefully place a finger.

-That's enough of that!

And there we go, look.

-There we go. I could do the other side as well if you like?

-No, thanks! One side is plenty!

-That's brand Harry Spankers though, isn't it?

-Yes.

-How much then?

-Well, look.

It has the novelty value there of the erotic, so £30-40.

-Of the smut, you mean?

-Yep.

-£30-40?

-Mm-hmm.

-£30 paid, so who says sex doesn't sell?

-I don't.

-OK, fair enough!

Well, we've got some dodgy business here with this jade figure, probably.

In which case they'll need their bonus buy

so let's have a look at it.

-Now, team. This is exciting, isn't it?

-It is.

-It is.

Because what David Harper's got there looks suspiciously to me like a box.

-Ha ha!

-You gave him £115.

-We did.

-Yeah.

-OK, take the rag off.

-OK, here we go.

-Can't wait.

-There we go.

-Do we like playing games?

-We do.

-I do.

-Have a grab of that one then.

-Ooh, that is nice.

-OK, flip it over.

-Ooh!

Mind your fingers so there we go. Nicely inlaid,

-all done by hand, all cut in, bit of parquetry there.

-Yeah.

-Lovely.

That's Sorrento style so Sorrento, the little town in Italy,

very famous for making boxes like this.

Whether it was made in Sorrento, I don't know, but it's a Sorrento-style gaming box.

Backgammon on the inside. Turn it over,

put it flat on the table, there's your lovely chessboard.

-The big question.

-Here we go.

-How much did you pay?

-Damage?

-20 quid.

-Ooh!

-It should make a bit of profit.

-Fantastic for £20.

-It could double its money.

-Well done.

-Thank you.

-I told you he was a genius.

-Never doubted you.

-Anyway,

for the audience at home let's see what the auctioneer thinks about the gaming box.

There you go, Jonathan.

-Ideal for your chess-playing evenings in West Sussex.

-Absolutely.

And backgammon, of course.

-There's a lot of work in that.

-Absolutely.

-£50-70.

-Really?

-Well, you know... Useful, isn't it?

-It certainly is.

Well, The Harper got a bargain cos he only paid £20

but the question is, will the team go with it? We'll find out about that in just a moment, won't we?

-Now, you two. You feeling confident?

-Absolutely.

-Are you?

-Course we are.

-You're looking very colourful.

-Thank you.

-And on-the-ball if you don't mind my saying so.

-Yes.

-Have you been to many of these auctions before?

-I've never been before, no. It's my first one.

-Zheesh!

-I know, very exciting.

-This is something else.

Anyway, the first item coming up right now is the record player.

Wonderful specimen, this. And I can start at £10.

I can start at 10, looking for 12 though.

-12 is bid.

-Ooh, 12!

-Ooh, 12, 12!

18's bid. 20, 25?

-25!

-25, thank you, I'm out at £25.

-CATHERINE: Well done.

-Do I see 30? 25 standing left, do I see 30?

It's £25 then, are we all done on the left at 25?

-One more!

-And selling at £25... GAVEL BANGS

-£25...

-In the bag!

-No, it wiped its face.

-No profit though.

-Well, that's all right?

-It's good enough.

Lot 1740A, brown leather case, circa 1940, it says,

and with travel labels. I can start at...£15 with it.

-Oh, come on, Jonathan!

-Oh, no.

18, 20. 22, 25?

Beautiful thing.

30. Against you at 30, madam. At £30, 5 anywhere else?

-At £30 then on the book, commission bid.

-Can I have a word?

-Selling for £30...

-I can't believe it.

-GAVEL BANGS

-Weird.

-£30, that's minus £50.

-That is unbelievable.

-Minus £50?

-Anyway, now... Moving on,

-being optimistic, we've got Old Snakey.

-Yes.

-Oh!

-Old Snake Eyes!

-Gets to get the snake out.

-Yeah, got to get the snake out!

-Get it out!

Right, here we go. Those of you that haven't seen it yet, on your marks...

-He's got it the wrong way round!

-Oh!

-THEY LAUGH

-Whoo-hoo!

-Marvellous.

-There we go.

So for that, surely I can start... With interest, I can start it at £30.

-THEY GASP

-That's all right. That's what we paid.

Surely worth 5, you all liked it. £30, 5 anywhere?

-35, 40?

-30!

-Shhh!

45, and 50? Commission bid against you at 50, do I see another 5? THEY GIGGLE

-THEY GIGGLE

-Come on! One more.

Not worth £50, shaking her head. At £50.

Selling. All done? It's going, £50. GAVEL BANGS

-Ahh, yes!

-Good.

-Give me five, baby!

That is plus 20 actually, not just five.

So overall, you're minus £30. So that was a bit of a result, wasn't it?

-What will you do about the scent bottle?

-We'll go for it.

-Definitely?

-Sorry, are we?

-Sure?

-Of course.

-Definitely.

-Are you sure you're sure?

-Yeah.

-You're sure you're sure?

-Aren't we? SHE GIGGLES

-Definitely?

-Yes.

-OK, we're going with the bonus buy.

Lot 1745A, a glass and metal-mounted gentleman's scent bottle

in a nice tan-leather case.

And...I've got to start at £25. With me at £25.

And 30, 35.

-40...

-Well done, Catherine. You are a star.

At £45, anywhere else?

Now it's £45, commission bid at 45. Surely worth another bid, at 45?

-Definitely worth it. Oh, yes.

-£45 then, last chance. Selling, 45.

-45!

-GAVEL BANGS £45.

-Yes!

-That's very good. Very, very good girl.

That is plus 12 which means that you're only minus £18.

-Ah.

-So we didn't make any money.

-Overall, minus £18 which is nothing.

GAVEL BANGS

-Now, Lisa and Dickie, do you know how the Reds got on?

-No.

-Nope.

-Not a dickie bow?

-No.

-No?

-No.

-Not a dickie bird, Dickie!

-Oh, very good!

-Goes with the tie.

-Oh!

-Super.

-Now, first up then is the cruet set.

-Right.

-And here it comes.

-Fingers crossed.

Lot 1761A, Carlton Ware pottery novelty vegetable cruet set.

No table should be complete without it.

Start me at £30 for this, the Carlton Ware. Surely worth £30.

£20 then? £20 is bid at the back of the room there.

-Fantastic.

-Go on.

-Surely worth 22, though.

-£20, far left. What about another 2?

-Come on.

-Any more at £20?

-You know you want to.

-22.

-Yeah!

-25, 28, 30.

-Brilliant.

-35.

-Great.

£35. 40, surely.

-Go on!

-Go on, one more. £40.

ALL: Yes!

At 40, far left at £40. Any more at £40?

And selling then, last chance, far left by the kitchen at £40...

-GAVEL BANGS

-£40 in the kitchen is plus £10.

-Yes!

-Brilliant.

You loved it, she loved it, everybody loved it.

-Now, are they going to like the jade?

-Ooh...

Lot 1762A, 20th century carved jade figure of Guanyin.

And I can start with a commission bid,

I can start at £10.

-What?

-Ooh!

-Oh!

-Only at 10, 12?

SHE WHIMPERS

20, 25. Clears the commission at £25. Do I see 30 now?

On the left standing at £25, surely worth 30 though. Do I see 30?

£25 on the left, then. Any more? It's your last chance, at £25...

-No, I can't bear it!

-25!

-£25 which is minus £100.

-Guys, guys!

-SHE LAUGHS

-Terrible.

-This is a strategy that is not sound.

-No.

-I've gone off this Oriental stuff.

-Yeah.

-We've only got one more bit to go.

-Anyway, overall then, lads...

-That's awful.

-You were doing so nicely, it's now minus 90.

-That's all(!)

-She's in a very bad mood.

Look out, here comes the inro with the you-know-what on it.

Lot 1763A, 20th century Japanese bone inro.

Erm... Rather creatively decorated there.

-Ha!

-With some romantic couples.

-Romantic?!

-Romantic.

£30, surely? To start me at £30.

Start me at £30, surely worth 30.

-£20 then? Come on.

-Come on.

£10 then, if I have to.

Surely, everyone likes... We're not embarrassed, are we? £10 surely.

-No!

-Come on.

-No interest at £10?

-What?

-No!

-10 bid, front row.

-Yes!

-Yes!

We're off now, there's £10. 12 somewhere.

-In the front at 10. Any more at £10? I shall sell it at £10.

-Must get more.

-It's going at £10.

-GAVEL BANGS No!

-£10.

-Only one.

Oh, they're bidding AGAINST you!

No, I'm sorry, I thought you were bidding together.

No? Well, that's £12 then to the left. At £12.

Timothy?

-£20, that is...

-We're still bidding!

-Oh!

-Hammer fell.

-Gentleman next to him, it's £12 to the left.

-Oh!

At £12, and he doesn't want to join in now at 15, do you?

-He does!

-Yes!

-£15.

-Yes? He's going on?

-Any more, sir? Want to go 18?

-Go on!

No, he doesn't, shakes his head. £15, thank you.

-That's better!

-That's better than a tenner.

-What's that about then? £15. Much better.

OK, we'll revise our necessary.

That is minus £15. You are now, overall...

-Minus £105.

-Oh, gosh!

-Oh, dear.

Which is not so bad when you say it quickly.

THEY LAUGH

What about Sorrento Ware? Is it a no-brainer, this, or what?

-Are we going with the bonus buy or not?

-We decided...we're going to.

-Yeah.

-Awww!

-You'll give me one last chance.

-It'll make us £105, so yes.

-It'll have to!

-We're going with the bonus buy?

-We are.

-David's box.

-We'll trust David completely.

-Here comes David's box now.

Here we have a Sorrento-style specimen wood games box.

-£30, I'm bid. And 5, clears the commission straight away at 35.

-Yes!

-Excellent.

-Go to £40.

-40 waving. And 5. 50, and 5.

-Yes!

-Get in!

-This is it.

-55, still in front now at £55.

-Come on, baby.

-I shall sell then, in front at 55.

-Come on.

-Go on!

-Go on.

-All done at £55?

-GAVEL BANGS

-Yes!

-Love it.

-Well done.

-That's more like it!

-We made some money then.

-You can give him a hug too.

-We'll just do a handshake, I think!

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-£35.

-Well done.

-Oh, well done, you.

-That reduces the whole thing to a reasonable perspective of minus £70.

-Oh, haven't we done well(!)

-You were down to three digits!

-THEY LAUGH

-You're back down.

-I mean, that was a disaster, that Chinese jobby.

-I know.

-It was.

-Torpedoing you.

-I was the same as you, I thought that would do really well.

-Minus £70, could be a winning score.

-Mm.

-Don't forget that.

-Could be.

We will reveal all just in a moment.

GAVEL BANGS

Well, what a colourful, colourful day we've had today.

-It's been smashing. Have you been chatting to one another, you two?

-No.

-Not at all.

-No? Well, sadly I'm not going to be handing out any cash today.

-Oh!

It's just the scale of the losses, that's all.

The runners up today by a whopping margin are...

-the Blues.

-Awww.

-We won, whoo! FRED LAUGHS

Sorry about that, team. I'm sorry about that.

-But nevertheless, minus £70 was not so brilliant.

-No.

-Sorry about that because you took part magnificently.

-Thank you.

-Did you have fun though?

-We've had a great time, thank you, Tim.

-Dickie?

-Yeah, excellent fun.

-Lovely having you on the show.

But the victors, who've managed to win by only losing £18, are the Reds.

-There you go.

-Whoo!

-Who are looking very pleased with themselves. And why not?

-Had a good time?

-Brilliant, thank you.

-Fred?

-Brilliant, of course.

We loved having you on the show.

In fact we've loved it so much we'd like you to join us soon for some more bargain-hunting, yes?

ALL: Yes!

I know, you're sitting there thinking, "I could have done better than that!"

Well, what's stopping you?

If you think you can spot a bargain, go to our BBC website and apply.

It would be splendid to see you!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd.