Oswestry 5 Bargain Hunt

I've donned my hat,

the stallholders have laid out their goods,

and somewhere round here there's a Red team and a Blue team

zipping up their fleeces.

So...ah! Let's go bargain-hunting, yeah.

Today, we're in Oswestry, in Shropshire.

A certain Reverend Spooner

once hailed from these parts.

He became an Oxford don,

and famous for his ability at mixing his words up.

Hence spoonerisms.

Anyway, enough of that.

Let's see co's whoming up. Ha!

On today's show, our experts have their hands full...

-Come on!

-I'm getting there. I'm getting there.

..with some very exacting requirements.

-I want his trunk up there.

-I'm sure you do, but there's nothing we can do about that, is there, really?

Do you like cherubs?

Not particularly.

Let's meet these demanding teams.

Today it's ladies' day, my favourite kind of day.

For the Reds we've got June and Jude

and, for the Blues, we've got Cosmic Carol and Jacqui.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Lovely to see you. Now, Jude, how did you two hook up?

Well, we went to school together.

Fifty years ago, we met.

-In junior school?

-No, no, secondary school.

-Ooh.

-Thank you very much, though.

-How lovely. You're a swimming teacher?

-I am, yes.

Have you been doing that for a long time?

30 years, yes.

Ever lost any?

-Not yet.

-Not yet.

I suppose it's difficult in a pool, isn't it?

It is difficult when you've got a group of three-year-olds that don't really want to go in.

You're a bit of a jumper yourself, aren't you?

-Just a bit.

-Tell us about that.

We went on holiday to Turkey, my husband and I,

and we took Mum with us. And we were looking at these paragliders

-that were doing these jumps off these cliffs.

-Oh, yeah.

I saw these men that were doing it and I thought oof,

I'd like to be strapped to one of those, so...

You talking about the men or the machine?

Ooh, the machine and the man.

So we leapt off this lovely big cliff.

So you like jumping off 4,000ft high cliffs, do you?

As long as you're strapped to something solid.

Yes. OK, fine.

-Now, June. You're a PA for a law firm.

-I am, yes.

Is that good fun?

-No.

-No.

-No.

-All right. Honesty.

-It can't be, can it?

You've had a milestone birthday recently?

We were 60, and we decided to save up.

-We decided we wanted to go to New York for our...

-60th birthday.

It took us ten years to save.

What did you get up to?

Ooh, that'd be telling.

Well, there was a couple of 6'4" hunks there.

Oh, no. Not more, not more paragliding.

No, no, no.

-We went up the Statue of Liberty to the crown.

-Yeah.

And we walked up and we didn't need oxygen masks. We did well.

What a nice thing to do, though. To save up for ten years.

-You had a great time?

-Fabulous time.

-A fabulous time.

I think you'll make an excellent team.

Now, talking of teams.

Team Carol.

-You're called Cosmic, right?

-Yes.

-Why's that?

Well, it's because I was asked, at my sister's,

she had a Halloween party and she said would I read some fortunes?

-Right.

-Now, these fortunes came uncannily true.

But I did have some previous information.

-You cheated, that's what you did.

-I did.

I was telling them something nice that would happen to them in the future.

-Now, you're retired?

-I am.

-What did you do before that?

-I was a physiotherapist in the health service for about 30 years.

-How do you feel about antiques? Are you good with antiques?

-I love them.

-Do you?

-Yes.

Like going to auctions, like watching you.

-Do you? Oh...

-Oh, yes.

-Jacs. you followed your mother into the medical profession?

-I certainly did.

What do you get up to, darling?

I am now working in school health,

but I started out as a district nurse about ten years ago.

Then I had two little children.

And then after that I went into school health.

And what do you do outside work?

Outside of work... I've got three children in total.

-Gosh.

-And we have a little dog who's called Beau who's...

-the main member of the family, in one respect.

-She's a shared dog.

-Oh, yeah?

-She's a shared dog. We took her into a dog show last year.

-We did.

-Yeah.

-And she won best puppy of breed.

And that was only because no other puppies turned up.

She was the only one there.

Now, what do you know about antiques, then, Jacs?

-Anything at all?

-Not a lot. I rely on Mother here for that.

-Do you?

-So we're going to get the expertise from Mum, all right.

-Yes.

Are you good with the money?

No, I'm just going to keep Mother in check, because she's my firecracker.

-Right.

-She's the one who's going to win it for us.

-So you're here as the restrainer?

-I certainly am.

OK, fine. Well, on that happy note, I'm going to give you £300 apiece.

Here's your £300.

You know the rules. Your experts await.

And off you go.

Very, very good luck.

Gosh, we're going to have fun today. "Cosmic," eh?

MUSIC: Theme from Star Wars

And, talking of supernatural powers,

it's time to introduce our experts.

Able to move a collectible simply with the power of his mind,

it's the Yoda of the antique world...

And foraging for finds in the fair

is our very own cuddly Ewok...

-Tell me what the plan is.

-We're going to spend, spend, spend.

Look at me with a gorgeous blonde and a gorgeous brunette. What a job.

We're going to win. It's going to be fantastic. Let's get out there.

-You like a bit of a thrill, Jude?

-I do, I do.

-An adrenaline junkie, I hear?

-Ooh, yes.

-Really?

-Definitely.

-Are we going to do something wild, then?

-Ooh, yeah.

-Come on.

-Let's go.

-We love wild.

Oh, yes. There's no holding our teams back today.

Keep her away from that radio.

See that shape there? I think that's really nice.

The cherub.

On the Blue team, Cosmic's keen to get her hands on a certain type of pottery.

A little birdie tells me

-that you like Moorcroft.

-I do.

-But you don't like that one?

I like it. If it's a reasonable price, then I think it's something that will sell.

The dealer's just nodded at me and lifted one finger.

-OK.

-I think what he was saying, it was 100.

-Right.

-That seems a lot for that small piece.

-It's quite small, isn't it? Let's have another think about that one.

-Yeah.

Meanwhile, the Red team have bigger things on their minds.

Ooh, elephants. Ah, but his trunk needs to be up.

-For good luck?

-For good luck.

-Do you like him enough to get a price?

-I don't like his trunk.

Cos his trunk's down. I want his trunk up there.

I'm sure you do. There's nothing we can do about that, is there?

-All right, let's leave him. All right.

-OK.

While Jude keeps her eye out for an upright trunk,

Cosmic's hoping to get her first purchase pinned down.

-Jacqui...

-What, Mother?

-Come over...

-Come here, Mum. He's having a look at something.

-What have we found?

-No, it's all right. Have you found something?

-A very ugly frog.

-You are joking.

-I don't think it's terribly old.

-No.

-And it is only £12.

-And we are going to a fine arts sale, remember.

-Yeah.

So maybe not.

-I think you might be hopping mad with that.

-Very cute.

So, Carol's suggestion has been pooh-poohed.

Now she's being shoo-shooed.

Come on, Mother.

Come on, Mother. Come on, Caroly.

-Come on, ladies.

-Come on.

-Come on.

-I know. Let's go.

-We've got to get momentum.

We've had nearly 15 minutes already and we haven't bought anything.

Mark's keen for the Blue team to rise to the challenge

but Harper's taking Jude's upstanding requirements a bit too literally.

Right, this dog is going to give you a bit of a shock.

-Ooh, is he?

-Have a look at him and I'm going to watch your faces.

He's not that many pennies.

He's, er... He's er...

SHE LAUGHS

We've looked at a lot of things,

but we actually haven't found anything that grips us enough to purchase it.

The Reds might've stumbled across something, though.

Oh, my goodness! It's from a graveyard.

But it's not a tombstone, is it?

-No.

-It's actually a birdbath.

"At rest" sounds like it's from a graveyard.

You can buy them new looking very old.

-Yeah.

-But that's old.

-And they are very clever, but I think that is an old one.

-I haven't felt it yet but it looks old.

-It's heavy.

Then it must be good. Let's have a look at this thing.

-Ooh, it's loose.

-That's fine. It's made in three sections.

It'll probably have a rod underneath to keep these bits...

-It's got, look...

-Yeah, it's been stuck with some kind of grout.

-Resin?

What do you think? Do you know it's from a cemetery?

I'm positive. With that written on it, yes.

It's a Victorian birdbath.

If it was 30 or 40 quid, it'd be a no-brainer.

-Yeah.

-What does he say?

-75.

-What shall we say?

-Well, do you like it?

-If it will make a profit, I love it.

-I want that in my garden.

-I'd have it in my garden.

-I'd have it in my garden.

-Shall we bid him 40 quid?

-Yeah.

HE MOUTHS

MAN: 50'll be the death.

-50 the death?

-Let's have it.

-Go on.

-50 quid?

-Have it.

-Thank you ever so much.

-OK.

-Good man, thank you.

So, the Reds are first to splash the cash.

Can the Blues clean up next with a piece of Moorcroft for Carol?

At £70, that seems quite a lot to me.

Can we not go any lower?

-We're talking...

-I'll do 62 quid.

-That's the best.

-62?

-62.

I don't know, honestly.

-No?

-What do you think, Carol? You're the Moorcroft lover, darling.

If it was about 50-ish.

40, Mother. What do you think? 40?

-No, no.

-I'm going away. I'm leaving them to it.

-We're being left alone now.

Our expert's just left us.

Mark's not wasting any time today.

Now, has Jude found that elusively angled elephant?

Oh, no. Is that in the right position?

-It needs to be up.

-It is up.

-It's over, look.

-As far as I'm concerned, that's up.

-That's got to be up.

-Right. She's not very easily pleased, is she, this one?

-No.

She's very particular about her trunks, that Jude.

I mean, there you go. That's got the wow factor.

-Oh, that has.

-Goodness gracious me.

-Not something heavy again.

Heavy, it's got to be good.

It's not floating the girls' boats, though.

All right.

Oh. That's a big solid piece.

This is called a toilet mirror. You see, this lifts up.

I've not seen one of those before.

They start in the Georgian period.

This is nice of its time. You've got... It's very Victorian.

-You know, with these...

-It's quite decorative, isn't it?

-It's mahogany.

-Is it something somebody would want?

-Nice wood,

Well, it looks lovely on a chest of drawers in a bedroom.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-But, first of all, I want to establish

-whether you actually like it or not.

-I like it.

-I like it. It's nice.

-Caroly?

-Yes, it's a nice piece, yeah.

I'm making a decision.

-OK.

-What did you want for this?

-£100, but you can have it for 50.

-Ooh.

What about 45?

No, it'll have to be 50. I really wanted 100,

-I was giving you a chance to make some profit.

-Oh, what a sweetheart.

-Thank you very much.

-Can you not give me a pound off?

-You can have two pound back. I'll take 48.

-Yay!

-Hurray.

-Is that our first purchase?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-# Hallelujah! #

-Hallelujah.

Thank you very much, sir. You're a gentleman.

-Oh, come here.

-Here's two quid back for you... ALL: Oh!

Two quid!

At last. Sound the horn, then. Give a cheer.

With over half the time gone, them Blues have made a purchase.

And, talking of horns...

Who was it that said

that size isn't everything?

Well, they clearly didn't know about these babies.

Because, with these,

cow horns, size is everything.

And have you ever seen such a whopper?

If you look carefully around the outer edge of the horn,

it's been mounted in silver.

Sadly, the silver isn't hallmarked.

So you can't precisely date this horn.

But, if you look a bit further up,

there are lots of little holes,

and the little holes indicate to me a woodworm.

So what's a woodworm doing eating a bit of cow horn?

Well, I suppose, for a woodworm it's rather delicious.

But all of this happened a long time ago.

As it is, with no hallmark, one just has to guess.

But even by today's standards

of size of bovine creatures,

this is a big horn.

That, coupled with the silver mount,

and the fact that it's in perfect condition,

gives it a sort of sculptural quality.

What's it worth? Well, to you,

here, in an agricultural fair like this,

it's priced at £65.

£65.

Hang on a minute. Let me just find out.

It's cheap.

Now, how are those rambunctious Reds getting along?

-Tell me why you like that one.

-I just like all...

-Deep carving.

-On the top. It is.

-Quite plain, isn't it? Apart from that.

-It's plain.

There's no lock on it, so it's not a tea caddy.

Looks at the veins. It's very distinctive of oak.

It's 19th century.

-Really?

-These little blocks here, these are Georgian blocks.

-Ooh.

-Half...well, it's like a quarter of a circle, the way they would block chairs on the underside.

-Yes.

That's a Georgian way of blocking.

How much is it?

50? As an object, it's gorgeous. It's worth 50 quid all day long if you want it as a box.

But, to be really mercenary, it has a chance of not making it in auction, so it's too risky.

-OK.

-But a lovely find. So, one last stroke each, girls.

-Mmm.

-Enjoy it.

That's enough TLC, thank you.

Let's just stick with T, as in teapot.

-I do like the...oh, shame.

-It's got a chip.

-What do you think, Mum?

It's a pretty little teapot.

-But?

-MAN: It's really popular.

-How much is it?

-35.

-35?

The thing with Clarice Cliff is, there's certain...

This is the "bonjour" shape,

and, do you know, it's not the most striking of designs.

And it's not signed. But it will be Clarice Cliff.

You're not keen, are you, Mum?

I don't know whether it would sell or not, to be honest.

-Well.

-Yeah, go on. 25.

-That sounds reasonable to me.

-£20 would sound lovely.

I'm only selling you it for 25 so that'll be on the telly.

ALL LAUGH

I must admit, I do like round figures,

-cos it's quite a substantial chip, isn't it?

-It is.

That would put people off a bit, you see.

-I'm sure you can do it for 20.

-Go on. Please.

-You know you want to.

-20 quid. Come on.

-Really good.

-Smashing.

-Give the man a kiss.

-I don't do kisses.

-Come on.

ALL LAUGH

And with that reluctant embrace,

the Blues have taken the lead.

It's two to one, Reds.

I'll have a quick word with Mark. I'll be with you...

Mark, you know, life isn't that bad. Cheer up! Chin up, my friend.

It'll get better.

I see what he means.

Only joshing, Mark.

Caroly here hasn't said very much.

It's your chance now to shine.

Can you find us that showbiz item that we need?

You've got confidence in me, Mark. I'm sure I will.

The Reds could do with similar encouragement.

With only 20 minutes left, they've still got two items to find.

They look like Royal Doulton to me. Let's have a look.

Look on the base. There you go, Doulton.

It's before Royal, so Doulton Lambeth, England.

England means that they were made after 1891.

Because everything was stamped England after '91.

That one is Doulton Lambeth, London, so that's slightly earlier.

Very good quality, but what does that colour and the feel of that pot remind you of?

-Somebody poor.

-A bit rough.

-A bit.

-Come on.

-I'm getting there, I'm getting there.

Yes, spit it out, Harper.

-They look sort of posh.

-Posh?

-Because you've got these...

-Oops.

You've got a tavern scene, you've got a hunting scene.

You've got fellows in pubs. And it's for beer or wine.

-Isn't that nice?

-It's for socialising.

-Guys, how much are the two Doulton jugs here?

-40 the pair.

-40 the pair.

The thing is, they're not extraordinarily rare.

-So if you got them for...

-30?

-25, 30.

25 for the two?

-That's a bit low.

-Is it?

-Yes.

-35.

-30?

-Yeah?

-Go on.

-Good, well, done.

-Thank you.

Good game, Reds.

-Shall we have a little look inside?

-Yes.

Do you like cherubs?

Not particularly.

-Come on.

-Anything that catches your eye?

I've seen some Moorcroft up there, you see.

-That's why...

-Where's the Moorcroft? Show us the Moorcroft.

-Right.

-We've got a baluster shape.

-Mm-hm.

-But the colours and the design is a modern version.

When we turn it upside down, we can see various marks there.

-OK.

-And the date, 2006.

-But it is £230.

-No.

I like it, but I think that's a little bit too expensive.

The thing is, I don't know whether it is or not.

-I'll give you that back. Thank you for showing us.

-Thank you.

-What about...

Dear, oh dear. Carol's been thwarted again.

Time's running out, and money is burning a hole in the Reds' pockets.

-We've got £200 to spend.

-Come on.

-These two want to spend big money. Can you help?

-Big money. Lots of money.

-Butcher's block.

-What sort of money is that?

-£200.

-BOTH: No.

-They don't like butcher's blocks.

-We've got all this money to spend, David.

-I know, I know.

Yes. Get a jog on, Jude.

Stop reminiscing. This is all about making money.

There's no pressure, Mum.

OK, down here. Come on.

Now, can Cosmic finally get her way for the Blues' last buy?

See if there's anything here that you'll love, Mum.

-Ditchfield glass.

-All right. Where's Mark? Hang on.

He's otherwise occupied.

I'm too busy. I'm doing autographs.

What is it? Paul?

Mark doesn't like to keep his fans waiting.

-I'll be over in a minute.

-OK.

Well, really.

What have you found here?

I've found some Ditchfield glass.

Now that's rather nice, isn't it?

Also, there is another piece.

This is lovely, though, isn't it? This iridescent colour.

I like the green one, but I think that is more unusual.

OK, so you've got what looks like a nine-carat with a Berlin plaque.

It's a little miniature on enamel.

-The thing is, we don't know who that is.

-Would we make money on that?

-I think we'd struggle in a general.

-Yes.

We've got five minutes. Not long.

Do we have anything in reserve anywhere?

Well, only that oak box.

Yes, it's time to face facts.

What's the best price on this?

The smaller green one is £100.

And the other one is more expensive. It's a prototype, a one-off.

How would you know that? Can you tell?

-Cos I bought it straight from John Ditchfield.

-Oh, you did?

Oh, that's a nice provenance.

I would go to £180.

-We've got...

-It does sound a lot of money, but will collectors go for the provenance? You reckon?

The Reds might make a dash for that box.

How long will it take us to run over there? Wrong direction, girls.

-See, that's where I was looking.

-Ooh, that way.

-Yeah.

-Oh.

Are the Blues heading in the right direction?

I think we'll go for this one, because I think we'll either make a lot of money on it,

or we'll lose a lot of money on it.

And hopefully we'll make a lot of money on it. I really do like it.

Can we get another fiver off, please?

-The lady was...

-Go on then, 175.

-You see?

Every fiver helps.

Well done, Blues. I wonder if Cosmic predicts a profit.

What about that little beaver you were looking at?

-A little beaver? Where's that?

-That little beaver there.

Let's have a look.

-What's on the box?

-There you go. It's a box.

-Oh, it's so heavy!

Be careful, cos that's a lid.

-Oh.

-Is that onyx?

-It's onyx.

-Feel.

-Oh, we love heavy stuff.

-What's Asprey?

You've heard of Asprey. Have you not?

You have.

-Enlighten us.

-Come on, tell us.

-It's a very, very posh jewellers.

-Is it marked Asprey?

-How will you know?

-Putting a sticker on saying it's Asprey doesn't mean it is.

-Of course not.

We'll know by...

There you go. Can you see on the base? "Asprey, London."

Hi there. Sorry. What kind of money on the Asprey box?

-120's the very best.

-120.

Shall we offer him £100 cash?

I think, if you got it for £100 cash,

nobody could shout at you for buying something

horrible and nasty, and it's got to be easy 1920s, 1940s.

-Oh.

-And you've literally got 1.5 minutes.

Er, if we offer you £100 cash in your hand now...

You can give me £120, but I won't go lower than that.

-I think he's pretty firm on that.

-OK.

-OK, so you've got one minute.

You either buy this for 120

or you don't do anything else. I don't know what the other suggestion is.

No, we've got to buy it. We've got to buy it.

-And just hope.

-Yeah. Thank you.

-SELLER: Lovely.

And with that, it's a done deal.

-Lovely.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Let's stop this sophisticated chronographic device

that we use for timing the shopping, shall we?

Thank you very much. That's it. Time's up.

Let's check out what the Red team bought, eh?

It was a birdbath that caught their eye first,

weighing in at £50.

Not half a hundredweight.

David spotted their second purchase.

Two Doulton stoneware jugs

which cost them £30.

And with their time nearly up,

they invested £120 in an Asprey box.

-50 seconds. That was unreal, wasn't it? Could've gone very badly wrong.

-It really was.

-Yeah.

-Who says it hasn't already?

-Oh!

-Time will tell.

ALL LAUGH

-Yeah.

-To the wire.

-To the wire.

It's getting better. I can tell.

What did you spend?

-We spent 200.

-Did you?

That's reasonable, isn't it?

-Yeah, it's not bad.

-Very good.

-And we're going to sell high.

-Is that what it is?

I've heard that before, Tim.

Funnily enough, so have I.

-Where's the £100 of leftover lolly, then?

-I don't know.

Oops.

He's heard that before as well.

I can... Just a minute.

Somebody's got to check this and be in control.

-Oh, well, there's...

-That's fine. Thank you very much. Lovely.

You've got your £100, boy. What are you going to spend it on?

Something better than a beaver.

-Or an elephant.

-Or...we shall see.

Well, on that happy note, then, good luck, David.

Meanwhile, we're going to check out what the Blue team bought, right?

A Victorian dressing-table mirror caught their eye first.

£48 paid.

After handing over £20,

will this Clarice Cliff teapot stir up a profit?

And finally Cosmic set her sights on

this Ditchfield paperweight,

paying a hefty £175.

They do like to talk amongst themselves, these girls, don't they, Mark?

Now, Jacs. Which is your favourite piece, darling?

-Ooh, now. I went for the mirror. The big mirror with...

-Is that your favourite?

I don't know, actually.

Cos I like that, but I also like the piece that Mother here got at the end.

-So, mother here.

-Yes?

-Is that your favourite?

-Yes, that's my favourite.

And which piece is it?

-It's the John Ditchfield piece of...

-Glass.

-Glass, yes..

-Lovely.

-BOTH: We spent 243.

OK. I'd like £57, please.

-We'll give you £57.

-Will you?

-Yes.

That's marvellous, Cosmic.

Out of all of this, you've got a clear message as to what you're going to go and buy

-for a bonus buy, haven't you?

-I have. I've got to get something that guarantees us a profit.

Well, go and take a couple of tablets while you're at it, Mark,

and you'll be fine.

Meanwhile, we're trotting off to the most glorious house

in Wolverhampton.

But first, let me take you back in time

to the second half of the 19th century.

The industrialisation of Britain was causing concern.

Writer and designer William Morris

advocated a return to traditional craftsmanship,

thus inspiring the Arts and Crafts movement.

At the same time, renowned playwright Oscar Wilde

was championing the Aesthetic movement,

which promoted the notion of arts for art's sake.

"Have nothing in your house that you don't know to be useful and believe to be beautiful."

That was William Morris's maxim,

a maxim taken up by Oscar Wilde in his lecture tour

in 1884, entitled The House Beautiful.

That lecture was attended by Theodore Mander,

who decided that he was going to create his own House Beautiful

here at Wightwick Manor.

Using Morris's principles of

seeking inspiration from the past,

Wightwick Manor was built with timber framing

to give the impression of a house built long before 1888.

Inside, the fabrics and woodwork are mostly handmade,

at great expense, using traditional craft methods.

And thanks to little redecoration over the years,

it's in a remarkable state of preservation.

The shop of choice for those following The House Beautiful lecture tour

was definitely Morris & Co,

the decorating firm founded by William Morris

and some like-minded chums.

And Wightwick is particularly important for us today

because it's a rare place where William Morris products

can be seen in the way that they were originally intended.

A good example of that is this wall-hanging.

This section is in a rare textile,

a textile that Morris had woven

for him in Scotland,

and it incorporates wool and silk material.

Two warps, which makes the material extremely tough.

It's called Dove and Rose Pattern

and you can see these doves, look,

having a nice bill and coo.

And it's typical William Morris, who was fascinated by organic forms.

Apart from being a shopkeeper, he was also an author

and an artist and a poet.

Did you know it?

In terms of his literary output,

his long narrative poem, The Earthly Paradise,

was published, finally, in 1870.

It described a group of wandering medieval travellers

looking for a land of everlasting life.

These four panels up above

relate to the prologue of William Morris's poem.

The one on the left is emblematic of Spring,

the girl in the middle is emblematic of Summer,

the guy next door to her is emblematic of Autumn

and, on the left,

we've got a figure emblematic of Winter.

This is appropriate for Wightwick

because the Manders, in love as they were with everything relating to William Morris,

would have found it most appropriate having these stained-glass panels

in their bay window.

What's really good about these is the fineness of the painting

and the way, by using abrasion and acid,

they've raised and reduced highlights,

so that the light comes through the folds of the dress that Summer is wearing

in such an interesting way.

And if you look at that Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood-type expression

on the girl's face,

that, too, is incredibly special.

Huh. The big question is, of course, for our teams over at the auction,

are we about to achieve some special results?

Well, we've kicked on north up the M6 to Nantwich

to be at Peter Wilson's saleroom with the boss Robert Stones.

-How lovely to see you.

-Nice to see you too, Tim.

Now, the teams' first item is this birdbath.

Is it going to be a birdbath, or is it going to be a profit?

It's quite nice to see these small birdbaths,

because they fit into people's gardens very easily.

It's not made of concrete, which is a big plus.

What do you think it's worth?

-60 to 80 on that.

-Do you? That's great. Cos they paid £50.

-Oh, did they? That's very nice.

-And next we've got two jugs.

I've looked up the impress marks on the base of these,

and there's actually 30 years between these two...

Is there really? So they weren't made to go together?

-No.

-Our guys only paid £30. What do you think they're worth?

-30 to 40, I'd say.

-Do you?

Let's try the Algerian onyx cigarette box.

First impressions are, I'm not incredibly enthusiastic about it,

but then it's got the magic name underneath it.

-Asprey.

-And it's got a bit pitted on the top, hasn't it?

Well, it could do with a clean up. I think that would make quite a difference.

-What's your estimate, then, Robert?

-50 to 100.

-Is that all?

-Cos they paid 120.

-Did they?

In which case, they're going to need their bonus buy, so let's have a look at it.

One, two, three... You can open your eyes now!

-Oh!

-Ooh!

Ooh!

-That was a little whimper.

-It's a little nest...

Oh, that's good.

-..of lacquered tables.

-How old is it?

-Early 20th century, say 1920.

-Really?

They're Japanese. But look at the shape.

-It's so Japanese.

-Gorgeous, isn't it?

So plain yet incredibly elegant. Really good quality.

-They've got that contemporary twist to them.

-You couldn't use them.

-Yes, you could.

-They're made to be used.

-The bit sticking up there...

-That's called age and patination.

-OK. Right, OK.

Some would say damage.

No, Tim, no!

ALL LAUGH

(Ask him how much he paid.)

-Hmm, yes.

-How much do you think?

-I think they're probably about...

-The full whack.

-£80.

Well done. I think they're good.

-I think they're really good.

-I like them.

-Yeah.

But right now, for the audience at home, let's find out what the auctioneer thinks about

David's Japanese quartetto. Yes.

How do you rate those, Robert?

Well, they're a bit tired, which is sad, because they've obviously seen a bit of use.

A quartetto with a chinoiserie decoration.

We can make them sound extremely grand, actually.

-Yes.

-But colour.

The coloured ones, if they're red, green, blue

or sometimes yellow or that lovely, sort of, plum colour

-with depth in the lacquering, it does make a big difference.

-OK.

Well, if you gird up your loins, then,

-what's your best estimate on this?

-I'd put 50 to 80 on them.

-Harper paid £80.

-Oh, did he?

-And he really rates them...

-OK.

..as a bonus buy. That's it for the Reds.

Now for the Blues.

And first up for them is the very handsome Victorian dressing-table mirror.

-Cor, look at that, Robert!

-Absolutely fantastic quality.

Mahogany. But not so fashionable, really.

-No.

-Which is a shame.

But it's a lovely shaped base, so really a very decent piece of furniture.

-So what's your estimate?

-40 to 60.

-£48 paid.

-Very good.

-So there's some hope.

Yup, there is indeed.

Now, what about Clarice Cliff?

That is a name to conjure with, isn't it?

The "bonjour" shape.

This is a transfer-decorated one which has been produced, but it's got no mark on it.

Well, it doesn't help it,

but it's still fashionable.

It's quite a desirable thing from that point of view.

-How desirable?

-£40 to £60 worth of desirable.

-We paid £20 worth of desirable.

-Really?

-That's desirable.

-That's good, isn't it?

OK. Well, the last item

is their Ditchfield piece of glass

which, thank the Lord, has got a little silver bug on it.

The colours they get are quite fantastic in there, with a little insect on the top there.

-What's your estimate on that?

-40 to 60.

-Gosh.

-What did they pay?

-They paid £175.

-They didn't?

-They did.

-Did they?

-I'm sorry to tell you. Whilst I can't tell you your job,

-I think 40 to 60's a bit on the low side.

-A bit mean?

-I think that's a bit of a tempter.

If you're right, it's going to be a disaster.

If I'm right, it may not be quite so much of a disaster.

And they could, even so, need their bonus buy.

So let's have a look at it.

You gave Mark Stacey £57.

Mark, what did you spend it on?

Well, I spent it on, Tim...

-These.

-Ooh.

-OK.

-Would you like to take one each, there?

-Yes.

A pair of candlesticks in pewter. I suppose 1920, sort of.

Vaguely Arts and Craftsy.

And then this, sort of, Art Nouveau, what I think is aluminium.

-Thank you.

-What's inside?

Let's have a look.

-Nothing.

-Oh.

-OK.

-Do you want to know what I paid?

-We'd love to know.

-How much did you pay?

For all three pieces, £15 for the three.

I'll be very disappointed if we don't double our money on those.

-I like boxes.

-Nice to have a prediction

with the bonus buy that you could double your money.

-Double money.

-We'll see what happens soon. Now, for the audience at home,

let's find out what the auctioneer thinks about Mark's lot.

-Well, well, well. This is a mixture, isn't it?

-It is.

I was quite shocked when this was handed to me,

because it's so light.

But this is made out of aluminium.

And it's beautifully made, in fairness.

This could be, maybe, a bit of a surprise in the auction.

-Cos these fellas are much more standard.

-They are.

-Yup.

-This is your hammered English pewter.

-Yup.

They've survived in quantities.

Perfectly attractive.

-Yeah.

-Yeah. For me, I would've thought £15 to £25, maybe £20 to £30

-for the candlesticks.

-Yup.

-Quite possibly.

-But let's focus now on what the aluminium box might be worth.

-It's clever.

-Stylish thing.

-So what's your estimate?

-Two together are a modest 40 to 60.

-Really?

-Hmm.

-Cos that cunning monkey, Mark Stacey, paid £15 for the three.

-15?

-You taking the sale today, Robert?

-I am, yeah.

We're in safe hands.

At £70, to 70. Sold for 70.

How are you feeling?

-Nervous.

-Nervous.

-Why are you nervous?

-I don't know.

First up, then, is your birdbath,

and here it comes.

£50, to start it off at 50. 50 is now.

Lovely thing for the garden. 50 I'm bid.

-£50 straight away, with you at £50.

-Yes!

-Yes!

-£55 is now.

55 anywhere now do I hear?

At 50. 55 on the internet. 55 here, 55.

60 is the now. At 55, the bid's here.

-At £55.

-We're in profit.

-60 anywhere?

At £55 on the internet. I am disappointed.

I thought it would make more.

At £55 on the internet.

At £55. Going to be sold at 55.

GAVEL BANGS

Sold at 55.

-Plus £5.

-Yes.

OK, girls.

The Doulton Lambeth jugs. Great condition, ladies and gentlemen.

What may we say on these?

20 I'm bid straight away. £20 I'm bid on these.

At 20. 22 is the now. 22.

£20 is here with me at 20.

-Come on.

-22 is the now.

At 22, your bid. 25. 28, now.

-28, 28. Your bid at 28 there.

-Yes!

At £28 bid. 28. 30 is the now.

At £28 only. 28. And they will be sold at £28.

-One more.

-All finishing at £28 your bid.

£28 is minus £2.

-You're still plus three, girls.

-We wanted three profits.

This wonderful box, ladies and gentlemen,

with the Asprey mark on it,

lot number 22 is what I sell

and I'm bid £40 for it straight away.

£40 I'm bid. £40.

45 is now. 45 anywhere now?

At £40 I'm bid. 45 is the now.

£40. 45. 50 with me. 55 is the now.

At £50 is all I'm bid.

-At 50. And 5 anywhere?

-I'm getting a bad feeling.

50. 5 anywhere now, do I hear?

At £50 only, then, if you're all finished and done.

At £50 only. Bid's here. At 50.

Going to be sold at 50. Last chance.

GAVEL BANGS

-Sold.

-Oh, no!

-Oh!

Minus £70.

-Oh, no!

-Overall, you are minus 67.

-What are you going to do about the bonus buy?

-Go in for us.

Going for the lacquered tables?

-We like them.

-Oh, yeah.

-147 is your target now.

Lot number 26.

The chinoiserie tables, the quartetto. Beautiful lot, here.

All in this lovely lacquer ware.

What may we say for them? £40 to start them off.

£40 now do I hear?

£40 only, £40 is all I'm asking.

£40 is the now, surely.

At £40. At 40 I'm bid. 40.

5 now do I hear?

At 40's all I'm bid.

Sitting down at £40.

-Come on!

-They're gorgeous!

And 5 anywhere now?

They are gorgeous. You heard what they said.

At £40 only. At 40.

And 5 now, do I hear? 45 anywhere now?

At £40, then. Bid's there with you at £40 then.

Going to be sold at 40.

Sold at 40.

Oh, no! I'm never coming here again!

You've never been here before.

-No.

-The way things are going here today, £107 minus might be a winning score.

-Well, it could be.

-Could be.

-Just don't say a word to the Blues, right?

-Nope.

-Nope.

-Shtum.

-Shtum.

So, Cosmic, Jacqui.

-Do you know how the Reds got on?

-No.

-No idea.

-Good. We don't want you to.

-Nope.

First up item is the dressing-table mirror. Here it comes.

42's the lot number.

This delightful Victorian mahogany dressing-table mirror.

Anywhere now at 30, surely at 30?

30 do I hear?

30 bid straight away.

At 30. 32 is the now.

32 anywhere now, do I hear?

Here at 32. 35.

38. 38?

It's only money.

At 38...are you sure?

No?

At 35 is there.

35. You can change your mind. 35. The bid's there at £35.

£38 anywhere else.

£35. Bid's there.

At £35 it's going to be sold. 35.

-That is minus £13.

-Disappointing.

Lot number 43.

This super teapot

by Clarice Cliff, of course.

At 30. Who says 30? 30 bid there, thank you.

At £30. 32 is the now.

30's there.

A lonely bid of £30.

32 is the now.

At 32 on the internet.

About time. 35?

At 32, it's there.

£32 on the internet at £32.

£35. I'm disappointed,

I have to tell you.

at £32 the bid's there.

£32. 35 there.

35. 38 on the internet.

35 on the second row.

At £35. Bid's there on the second row.

At £35.

£38. Goodness me, taking their time there.

40. She's bidding again. 42 is the now.

-Keep going!

-42?

At £40, it's your bid, at £40.

42 on the internet.

You'll have to be quick.

At £40. Bid's there at £40.

It's going to be sold...

£40. £40.

Round of applause.

It's all too much for me, I'll tell you.

You were minus 13. You're now plus seven.

44, ladies and gentlemen. 44. John Ditchfield there.

The glass paperweight.

£60 I'm bid straight away.

£60. That's with me on the commission at £60.

£60. £60. 65. 65.

70. 75. 80. 85.

90. 95.

At 90 here on commission.

You can change your mind if you want.

At £90 with me. £90.

95? 95 is the now.

£90 only. At 90.

And I'm going to sell at £90 only.

Last chance at 90...

£90.

Minus 85. You had £7 worth of profit.

That makes it £78 of losses.

-Oh, well.

-What are you going to do about the bonus buy? Going to go with it?

-We're going to trust him.

-We are.

-We're going to trust him. Come on.

48. The aluminium Arts and Crafts-style hinged box.

A lovely thing.

And the two candlesticks. Surely £30 from somebody?

At £30 now. At £30, do I hear?

At 30, is that a bid?

-At £30, a bid at 30.

-We've got 30.

35 is the now. 32 if it helps you.

£30 is bid. I'll take £32 if it helps. 32. 35.

It's very reasonable. 35. 38.

38. 38. 40.

40? 40? Are you sure? You can change your mind.

38, the bid's there.

At £38, and I'm going to sell.

At £38. Super lot for little money.

At £38, going to be sold, then.

£38.

BOTH: Yay!

They like it. There we are.

They're quite loud, aren't they?

So you made £23 on that, which is brilliant.

Which means, overall, you are £55.

Which means you could have a winning score.

-We could.

-We could.

-But don't say a word to the Reds.

-Won't say a thing.

-Well, teams. Been chatting?

-No.

-No.

-No, no.

Well, it's no secret to either of you that

-nobody's going home with any pound notes in their pocket.

-Good.

In fact, it has been a day of unmitigated disaster

in terms of profit.

We've had a lot of fun but, unfortunately, it's all minus.

And the team that has done significantly worse

than the other is the Blues.

Oh!

Can't believe it.

Actually, it's the Reds.

-What?

-Yes!

Oh!

Only kidding.

-Oh, no!

-Yes.

-You've done really badly, you Reds.

-Oh!

-You've lost £107.

-Shh!

-Thank you very much.

All right? And you've lost £55.

BLUES CHEER

So you've done twice as badly as they've done.

-So we are the biggest losers?

-Well you are today, yes.

-Except nobody's a loser on this programme.

-No.

You're either a runner-up, or you're a runner-runner-up.

So I'm happy to declare today, the victors are the Blues.

Hooray!

Join us soon for some more bargain-hunting, yes?

ALL: Yes!

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