Deene Park 25 Bargain Hunt

Here at a park they call Deene

We've treasures from treen to shagreen

We've teams who In tops red and blue

Are baited and coiled and keen.

Ha! Let's go bargain hunting! Yeah.

So, on the show today, we've got a pair of professional murderers -

well, of the theatrical kind -

and a pair who could teach them a thing or two.

So, let's have a quick squint at what's coming up.

'It's back to school for two teachers

'who you'd think had never left the classroom.'

At £65, it might be an idea to...

-Put it down.

-Put it down!

-That was very teacherly!

-It was, wasn't it?

'And on the Blues, our Thomas is taught a thing or two.'

You'd better behave yourself, young man. I'll stand you in the corner!

I think I'd quite like that.

'Yeah, you would. So, let's meet our teams.'

So, for our teams today, for the Reds, we have Leon and Sarah,

and for the Blues, we have Matt and Jacks. Hello, everyone.

It's lovely to see you. Leon, Bargain Hunt and playground duty brought you two together?

Yes. We bonded over Bargain Hunt in the playground.

We both do a morning playground duty.

That's when we started talking about Bargain Hunt.

-The rest is history - and here we are!

-I know!

-You're headteacher?

-Deputy headteacher.

And Sarah is the attendance officer for our school.

-We pretty much rule the roost.

-What are your subjects?

-Everything.

We're a primary school, but I specialise in PE.

Although you wouldn't be able to tell any more!

-But you like the kiddiwinks?

-Yes.

-That's what it's all about.

-It is.

They're hopefully going to watch this and go, "Yay!"

"There's our deputy head!"

-Sarah, you work in the same school.

-We do.

-What does an attendance teacher do?

Well, I am part of the senior leaders.

My role is to make sure that everyone's attending as they should.

If people don't come, school expects people to ring in to say why their child's not there.

If they don't, then school rings them.

-If we have trouble getting through, I'll knock on the door.

-Will you?

-And say, "Little Johnny's not at school today. Can I take him in for you?"

-Quite!

-If necessary.

-It's an essential job that you do and rather interesting.

-How do you think you'll get on on Bargain Hunt?

-Really well.

Really well. Definitely.

-We've got over 500 children pulling for us.

-Yes.

They're going to be rooting for you, and woe betide you if you don't perform well!

-We have to get the maths right.

-Well, you can check ME out!

Matt, it says here that you and Jackie spend your spare time bumping each other off.

Yes. We met on murder mystery weekends and we play all types of characters,

-including an antique-dealing couple.

-Yes.

-Oh, are you?

-What are you called? Not Tim, I hope.

-Tony. Tony Marks.

-Tony Marks! And what are you called?

-Cleo Marks.

-Cleo Marks?

-Yes.

Give us the lowdown on your average murder mystery weekend.

These innocents arrive, expecting to have a gruesome time and you dole it out for them?

We do. They're unsuspecting. Suddenly there's a murder and we might be responsible for it.

They question us all weekend to find out if we're the person who's done it.

-It sounds immense fun.

-It is great.

-Jackie, you're clearly mad keen on this stuff, too.

-Oh, yes.

It's murder what we do most weekends! It certainly is, yes.

We do tend to try and kill each other.

I'm either a murderer or being murdered or just acting suspiciously.

-What do you do for blood?

-Oh, yes. Plenty of that.

-Is it ketchup?

-No. It's proper stage blood.

-Is it?

-Yes.

-You can play lots of characters, can't you?

-I've got 25 characters that I play.

-And all the costumes to go with 25?

-I have to buy them myself!

-So it's a question of finding things.

-Is this your collecting field, period costume?

-I do tend to gravitate towards that sort of thing, but I have other things that I like.

-Like what?

I've got some Royal Doulton figurines

and I've also got a bit of Carlton Ware that I like.

-You're sounding pretty expert!

-No!

-You should do well today. I hope so.

Now, the money moment. £300 apiece. You know the rules.

Your experts await, and off you go, and thank you very much.

Ooh, I hope nobody gets murdered on this show!

'Now, let's meet our experts.

'She'll bowl over the Reds with her charm and enthusiasm.

'And nothing will escape his eye for the Blues.'

-What is our plan?

-Well, no tat.

-Great.

-I'd like something pretty.

-Find me some bling.

-Find you some bling?

-Is she always like this?

-She's very demanding.

We're teachers, so we'd like something for the kids.

So "pretty toys" wraps it all up nicely.

This is going to be fun. In we go.

We do only have this hour.

'Minutes in, and our Red Team teachers Leon and Sarah

'have found something that seems to belong in their playground.'

-What is that?

-Are you serious?

-It's a toy.

The all-important thing is price.

-He's fallen in love.

-£65!

-Is it Japanese?

-Leon, put it down.

-'Yes, you've been told, Leon.'

-That was very teacherly.

-It was, wasn't it?

-"Don't do that."

I'm sorry.

'Watch out, Leon, you'll be in detention soon.

'Seems like the Blues have spotted something with far-eastern promise.'

-This is a nice chinoiserie mirror. Do you know what chinoiserie is?

-No.

-Chinoiserie is a style. Why "chin"?

-Chinese?

Absolutely. It's in the Chinese style.

That's what that is, a Chinese-style mirror.

-I like that.

-I don't think you're getting much love out of it.

-No.

-No. All right. Move on.

'Never mind, Blues. Bags of time.

'Kate's found something cute, though.'

Oh, look! He's called Isaiah.

Because one "eye's 'igher" than the other! I'm so sorry!

-What about these?

-Chopping knives.

-Mezzalune.

'Something for you kitchen-lovers.'

-It's got some nice, turned-mahogany handles.

-It's nicely polished.

It's got £28 on it. What would you say you'd sell that for?

It would be around the £20 to £30 mark. You're in the middle.

It's got some lovely patina on here. Lots of people have held it.

Age-wise, I would think post-1900. Maybe pre-war.

-It's quite a nice thing.

-It's been used.

-Yeah.

We like that, it's got age.

'Mind your fingers, Kate.'

If you could get that for £10 or £15, it might be worth it.

-It's one to consider. Let's have a look around.

-Yeah.

But if you really like it, you've fallen in love with it...

-It does feel nice.

-It's very tactile.

It could still be used.

It fulfils your kitchenalia and functional criteria.

-It's your money, and it's not a lot of money.

-It's not a lot of money.

-Shall we find out...

-What the best price would be?

-Call the poor man over.

-Hello!

What would be your best price on that?

The very best would be 22. Can't quite take it down to 20.

We like round numbers. You don't have to give us any change.

Go on, then. £20.

-Want to go for it for 20?

-SARAH:

-Yeah, I can do it for 20.

Brilliant. Thank you.

'You withstood the heat of the kitchen, Reds.

'Your first buy in just eight minutes.

'It seems like your murder mystery opponents, Matt and Jackie,

'have found a mysterious box.'

-I like that.

-You like that? "Ooh, I like that."

Is this a little secret...?

-No, it's inside.

-Oh, ye...

I've got you. What happens then?

-Your money comes out.

-Oh, it's a little money box!

'The penny's dropped.'

-So where's this from, Sorrento?

-I don't know.

-Have you been to Sorrento?

-No.

They do these magic boxes where you open one bit

and you've got to move something for another part to open.

Quite similar to this.

You open the doors, this has got to be over,

raising up the inner courtyard and out comes your coin.

I think it could be continental, but this is lovely.

It's in boxwood, a little bit of mahogany, it looks like.

Date-wise, I would have thought it's got to be Edwardian.

-1900, 1920.

-Older than I thought.

-What do you think?

-I thought it was more modern than that.

-What, '50s?

-Yeah, I would have said.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-What's your very best on this?

-65.

65. 60?

No, 65.

-MATT:

-If it was at 60, I'd be a yes.

-Absolutely.

-SELLER:

-Can we go 62.50?

Oh! For the love...!

-MATT:

-If it was 60, I'd be yes.

62?

-SELLER:

-All right, you can knock the 50p off!

Just because my maths is appalling.

-62? We're going with it? Happy?

-Go, go, go!

Thank you very much. Well done!

-Under ten minutes. Is this going to be over in half an hour?

-No.

-Jackie's going to be indecisive about her bling.

-Off we go, then.

'Charming, Matt(!) Whilst Jackie hunts for her bling, the Reds are talking strategy.'

-What was the other criteria?

-Maybe something for the kids.

-Yes, toys and something pretty.

-And something pretty.

-For me.

'Who's a pretty boy, then?'

OK, let's go.

Now, if you were doing a murder mystery with poison...

-Exactly.

-Exactly.

-..would you use any original things? Antiques?

-Yes.

-Where do you get your props from?

-We go round...

-Antique fairs!

-Do you?

-Yeah.

-What do you buy and how do you barter?

I've got a 1920s dance cane which I use when I play Hercule Biro.

-BELGIAN ACCENT:

-Ze inspecteur has it with him at all times.

-Hercule Biro?

-Yeah, it's a pen name.

-BELGIAN ACCENT:

-'Hercule, you had better start solving ze case of your second buy!

'It seems the Reds are already on the case.'

I like things in cases. Ah! Lalique! That's very nice.

-But it's also very expensive.

-£158.

-We've got 300.

-We've got 280.

Just cos you've got 300 doesn't mean you have to spend 300!

-I want some at the end.

-Yes.

-Not just £1.

'Yes, our Kate's a big spender!

'What have our murder mystery couple dug up?'

-What about the canes?

-The quartermaster one's quite fun.

£120.

-I don't like it enough for 120.

-Nor do I.

Fun, though. Jackie, do you have a name, a character you play?

We've heard about Hercule Biro.

I play Miss Marbles, so you'd better behave yourself, young man.

-I'll be standing you in the corner.

-I think I'd quite like that.

'Could her teammate Hercule have found his infamous walking stick?'

-You like canes, don't you?

-That one's got a...

This is an opera glass.

-£600, though.

-Put it back down.

£600. That's more than you've got.

-Can't we have their...?

-No! You can't have their money as well.

-You have a cane?

-I have a 1922 dance cane.

-I've got a silver-top as well.

-You've got a silver-top one?

-Yeah.

Like one of these?

-No, I've got a...

-A full cane?

-Do you think Miss Marbles would have one of these?

-Yeah.

-Thwacking assailants over the head.

-Yeah.

-Claire might have one.

-You need to meet Miss Marbles.

-This is good, this one.

-Oh, wow!

-It's a bow saw.

Canes are popular. They're collected by different types of people.

This is a gardening one.

-So you'd cut down the odd branch?

-Yeah, when you're walking around.

-Who's this one by?

-That's Holtzapffel and Company.

-Holtz...

-Holtzapffel.

-1930s?

-'30s onwards, yeah.

'Holtzapffel and Co was founded by John Jacob Holtzapffel,

'who arrived in London in 1787 as a German immigrant.

'He later made good, as his firm of tool and lathe makers

'went on to become world-renowned.'

Did they make lots of gardening implements?

They did two or three different types of walking cane implement

for trimming branches with a saw or trimming weeds.

-JACKIE: How amazing!

-It's handy.

-It is handy, isn't it?

-How much is that?

-SELLER: 100.

-£100. What do you think?

-No, really how much is it?

SHE LAUGHS

It's good fun, isn't it? What do you think?

-I like it, but...

-Three figures. A lot of money.

-How much would it be...?

-100.

-100? There's no...?

-There's no movement on that.

-It's a three-figure gamble.

-JACKIE: It IS a three-figure gamble.

Even if you knocked £1 off, so it wasn't a three-figure gamble?

-Could we saw a little bit off? 99?

-We'll do 99.

'So, you beat him down a little bit, Matt.'

-What do you want to do?

-I think go for it.

-I think so.

-I love this.

-At 99, we'll go for it.

-Sold. Thank you.

-Two items down!

Get in there! Brilliant!

We're under half an hour, two items in.

-Fantastic. Speedy!

-Speedy!

-Jackie, we need to find something for you.

-Bling! Come on!

Girls! Move!

'Will it be "bling and buy" for Jackie?

'The Reds haven't bagged their second buy yet, but they could be spicing things up.'

Oh, it's out of our price range. 210!

-That is nice.

-That is really cool.

Georgian spice box. It's got a lock. This is why tea caddies were around.

It was so expensive, you had to lock away your tea and your spices

because your servants might steal them.

Have a little cinnamon party!

Chocolate, especially, was illicit. "Would you like a hot chocolate?"

-What's the date on it?

-1800.

Which is about right, Regency,

when you would need to lock up your spices.

You usually see them in wood, so it's quite unusual to see it in tin.

-How much would you need to get that for?

-Maybe if you got it for 150,

you might have a chance - it will be touch and go.

I'd feel comfortable having a 100 to 150 estimate.

So you'd probably be top end of my estimate at 150.

But it's a great thing. On the internet, there are lots of kitchenalia collectors.

You were drawn to it. Other people will be, too.

-It's a question of haggling. See what you can do.

-Excuse me.

-Sorry. What would be your best price on your spice box?

-180.

180. We were hoping for something under 150, really.

I could do it 150, but that's it.

Do you want to think about it? Would you keep it for us for ten minutes?

-And we'll come back.

-Thank you.

'Whilst the Reds go off to deliberate,

'could Jackie finally get her way with the Blues?'

I want that one.

-"I want"?

-Yes. I want that one.

"I want"! What do you like about it?

It's pretty. It's silver. It's wearable. It's a brooch.

-And what else?

-It would go very nice on this jacket.

-We're not buying it for YOU.

-'Look at that face!'

-There's no age to this at all.

-How much is it?

-It's £85.

85. Jackie, that's too much.

-I know.

-Pop it back for now.

No. Don't look like that. We've got 20 minutes. We can always come back.

It's not going to go anywhere. Come on.

'You don't want to blow your budget on bling, Blues.

'The Reds, though, are still wanting to spice things up.'

-150, I reckon that's a really good price.

-I really like it.

-You do?

-Shall we get it? 150.

-That would be two of your items out the way.

-Yeah.

You spent very wisely on the first one, 20 quid.

We've got a bit to play with. I reckon there's a chance of a profit.

-Why not? Go for it.

-We'll have that one.

-All right?

-Brilliant.

-Yes, teachers. Go on! Go get it.

Shall I go and buy it? OK.

-So, 150.

-Yes, that'll be fine.

Thank you.

'You sealed the deal at 23 minutes,

'but it's back to the bling for our Blues.'

That is a piece of antique jewellery.

An onyx pebble, a little seed pearl within a gold mount.

-It's a bit like a pool of water.

-I like that.

You like that? Let me show you one other thing.

It's commercial, but it's not commercial as...this.

How much is this? This is 178, an Edwardian 9ct gold pendant.

British Art Nouveau. The amethyst is a very popular stone.

With the pretty seed pearls and on a 9ct gold chain.

It definitely is an antique.

-You've got 178 on this.

-Yes.

-What is your very best?

-I said 140.

-We haven't got 140.

-130.

-We haven't got 130.

We've only got 120.

All right, 120 it is. I can't go any lower than that, definitely.

-Do you like it?

-I like it.

-I think it's so pretty.

So much more commercial. It's a lot of money, though.

-I think we need to have a gambler.

-Do you?

-Yeah.

But if you get two people after it, you've got the internet.

Is it going to make a profit?

-It's what you wanted.

-It's bling. It's antique.

We'd wear those on the murder mysteries.

'Yes, just right for Miss Marbles!'

-What do you want to do?

-120. Go. Yes.

-Love it!

-OK. Yeah.

-Thank you.

-That's your third and final item.

-We've done it.

-Yes, we've done it.

'Yes, no question whodunnit!'

-It's murder doing all this shopping!

-It certainly is!

Didn't kill you!

-Almost dead on my feet!

-Come on.

'Enough of the murder gags, you two. You've got plenty of time to kill...

'Unlike the Reds, who are still on the hunt for their last buy.'

I've seen something over here that I think we should consider.

-Do you know what these are?

-No.

-They're a lovely bunch of coconuts!

'Oh, missus!'

-These are brilliant.

-What are they? Sugar dishes?

-Coconut cups.

-"Brass mounted coconut work.

-"Victorian sailor's art."

-'Ahoy there!'

There wasn't a lot to do aboard ship except whittle coconuts.

You've presumably got brass from old bits of ammunition.

They were quite small coconuts.

-These could have been to war.

-They could have been anywhere.

-You're just hypothesising?

-Yeah!

-I like these. There's something about them.

-They're quite quirky.

-It kind of is culinary.

-Yes!

-Yeah, vaguely.

If you clap them togther, they're kind of a toy...

-They're done at 55.

-I think that's weird and wonderful.

As an auctioneer, they will faint at putting any estimate.

-You don't know what it's going to make, but it's fun.

-It is fun.

-And I've never seen one like it.

-'But play time's nearly over!

'You've got a minute to make your mind up.'

-Three for 55?

-Yes!

-Down to the wire.

-Nice one, Red Team.

'£55 paid for the coconut shells.'

Well, it's time to park the shopping, teams,

and find out what the Red Team bought. Cute, isn't it?

'First, the Reds went for the chop with this German herb chopper.

'Then they spiced things up with this 19th-century spice tin.

'Then they sailed away with a lovely bunch of coconut-shell bowls,

'probably made at sea.'

LAUGHTER A surprise, but good!

You're looking very happy. Did you get on all right with Kate?

-Yes. Brilliant.

-Excellent!

-Well done.

-Which is your favourite piece?

-I like the spice box.

-Spice box is favourite?

-Yes.

-Leon?

-I would say the same, the spice box.

-Is that going to bring the biggest profit?

-Um...

-Possibly, but we did have the coconuts as well.

-Yes.

-I think the coconuts might make the biggest profit. Yes.

-Fine.

So coconuts are your joint prediction? OK, fine.

-What did you spend, overall?

-£225.

£225. I'd like £75 of leftover lolly, then.

Thank you. That's my £75, which is a decent amount to hand over, Kate.

-And I'm going to spend all of it.

-Every penny?

-I hope so.

-It's my challenge!

-You are such a punter.

Meanwhile, why don't we check out what the Blue Team bought, eh?

'First, the Blues put their money on this parquetry novelty money box.

'Then they went walkies with this cane, cleverly adapted with a saw.

'Finally, Jackie got her bling, with an Art-Nouveau-style pendant.'

-Yes. We had a lovely time!

-We love it when you have fun.

-Which is your favourite piece?

-My favourite piece is the bling.

-It's a beautiful little pendant.

-That's your favourite.

-I would say the cane for me. I love the cane.

-The cane?

-Yeah.

-Which piece is going to bring the biggest profit?

-The cane.

-I reckon the cane.

We're in agreement here.

You spent, I believe, a mature amount of money.

£281.

That is really super.

£19 of leftover lolly, please. Thank you very much.

-There we are.

-Super. £19, Thomas. There's a challenge.

-Not a lot of money, that.

-No! I've seen something.

-Have you?

-Yes.

-Good for you.

Well, it's very nice to be in Market Harborough with Mark Gilding.

-Good morning, Tim.

-Cracking to be here.

First up for the Reds is their herb chopper, kitchenalia at its best.

Yes, indeed. Interesting bit of kit. Nice sharp blade, turned handles.

This is a German blade. How do you rate that, money-wise?

-40 to 60.

-Gosh! That's quite a chopper!

-£20 is all they paid.

-OK.

-They'll be well-pleased with that.

Second is the spice tin, which is complete with those nice divisions.

Again, typical purchase from a person who's keen on their cookery

and all the accoutrements.

-How do you rate that?

-I don't like that.

-I've said £50 to £80.

-Is that all? They paid 150.

-Wow!

It's not going to spice up their life much.

Lastly, the three coconut bowls with brass mounts, which are novel.

-But who's going to buy them?

-I think they're a bit of a struggle.

-£30 to £50.

-Well, they only paid £55, so that's not too bad.

Overall, the killer is going to be the spice box,

and if it turns out to be a killer, they'll need their bonus buy, so let's have a look at it.

Leon and Sarah, how exciting is this?

You spent a magnificent £225.

You gave Kate Bateman £75 of leftover lolly.

Kate, what did you spend it on? Ooh.

This is fabulous, a cinnabar-lacquer plate. It's Chinese.

Chinese stuff is really hot.

It's not terribly old, but it is quite nicely made.

I spent all £75, so I blew the lot. I think it's a chance of a profit.

-What do you think?

-LEON LAUGHS

What sort of profit do you think we could get?

Maybe up to £100, so maybe £20 profit.

-Have a look. It's very light. You don't look impressed.

-Um...

-LEON LAUGHS

-It's interesting.

-It's not the sort of stuff you'd have at home, but it's really nicely made.

-Right.

-I don't think I've convinced them.

-N-no, but we'll see.

Well, you don't have to pick right now.

You choose after the sale of your first three items.

For the audience at home, let's find out what the auctioneer thinks about Kate's little plaque.

OK, Mark, how about that for a bit of cinnabar-lacquer lookalike?

It's a good lookalike.

If that was the real thing in cinnabar lacquer,

which has got maybe 500 layers of varnish laid on a core,

that's then been cut through

to create this degree of intricate design and all the rest of it,

-is that worth £5,000?

-It would set the world on fire!

-It would be worth a lump of money.

-It would.

-Is it cinnabar lacquer?

-It's resin, in my opinion.

-Plastic?

-Well, yeah.

-It's just a modern lookalike.

-Yeah. Plastic.

In a mould, squashed by the Chinese and sold to the tourists? Yes?

With a bit of hand-finishing, but out and out tourist ware.

-Fine. How much?

-£10 to £20.

-OK, £75 paid as a bonus buy.

Let us hope that the team don't take it.

Anyway, that's it for the Reds. Now for the Blues.

Matt and Jackie with Thomas Plant

have come up with three completely different objects.

-First of all, the money box.

-Nice, novelty parquetry box.

Nice little cottage. £30 to £50 estimate.

-Is that all?

-It's fun and quirky, but not a strong market.

There are money box collectors, but they want older money boxes.

-When would this date from? '30s or '50s?

-Yeah.

-£30 to £50, then. Thomas found it. He paid 62, so he rates it.

-OK.

Next is something that I think is extraordinary,

the novelty walking stick-cum-saw.

-Yes, it is.

-Have you ever seen one like that?

-I can't say I have. No.

Which, I must admit, apart from the interest as a walking-stick saw,

it's about the only thing I like.

The only thing is, for walking stick collectors, who love novelty,

might they not be intrigued by this cos it's got a blade in it?

They'll be intrigued, but the lack of quality with the fitments and poor-quality blade,

the serious collectors that spend reasonable money on a novelty stick will be put off.

-OK. How much?

-£50 to £80.

-All right.

£99 paid. And lastly is the pendant. Pretty standard object.

-Fairly standard pendant. Quite good quality. £40 to £60.

-Oh, dear.

£120 paid. Overall, I think they're going to need their bonus buy,

so let's go and have a look at it.

Matt and Jacks, you've done incredibly well by spending £281.

You gave the Planter a miserable £19. Planter, what did you buy?

-Well, do you like my flying jacket?

-Oh!

-I thought of you guys, your theatrical escapades.

-Yes.

I saw this hanging there. It's a Royal Fleet Auxiliary jacket.

-Do you like the gold braid?

-Yeah.

-It rather suits you, Planter.

-It does. Quite dapper.

That Titanic-on-the-bridge look, the moment the vessel's going down, glug, glug.

-This is not going down like the Titanic.

-How much did you pay?

You only left me £19!

-Did you spend all the £19?

-The lot!

-Everything?

-Everything.

-Don't you like the buttons, the cut?

-It's bound to be Gieves and Hawkes.

-Yeah. It's a really good-quality jacket.

-Yeah.

-Uniforms are so popular.

-How much do you think it'll make, then?

-It's got the chance of making between £30 and £40.

-OK.

-Bit of bling. Like it.

-Is it the sort of thing you'd dress up in?

I would. I once played a captain in a panto, Captain Bone Marrow.

-Oh, yeah!

-LAUGHTER

It was probably a hollow victory!

It was. I like it. It's all right.

That is high praise, indeed. Tom will be encouraged by that.

Anyway, you pick later, after the sale of your items.

For the audience at home, let's find out what the auctioneer thinks about Tom's dressing-up-box coat.

Right, Mark. It would look very smart on you, this.

-It could be your size!

-Looks like it.

-Royal Fleet Auxiliary.

-I don't think there's any more to say about it.

-Market Harborough's a long way from the water.

-It is!

About as far as you can get.

How do you find military costume like this is collected?

-Do you find many people like it?

-Not particularly.

Plenty of interest in other aspects of militaria,

but uniform, not that strong.

-So, how much?

-£20 to £30.

-£19 paid, so well done, Thomas.

If you're right, he'll be delighted. Stand by, eh?

Ten, I'm bid in the room now.

Leon, Sarah, this is the exciting moment. We're on the precipice.

-Are we going to fly or are we going to...?

-Plummet.

The herb chopper, Kate found that. £20 you paid, you clever sausage.

The estimate is £40 to £60. He thinks you'll triple your money.

He thinks kitchenalia is fab and that's really good.

-That's what we thought.

-And here it comes.

German herb chopper, nice, turned-wood handles. What do we say?

The opening bid here is only £10. £12. £15.

Is that all?

-18 online.

-18.

-20 do I see?

-Go on!

-20.

-22 in the room.

-Yes, profit!

25 bid. Your turn.

I'll wait. I don't mind. 28. Thank you very much.

£28!

On the front row at 28.

Selling in the room at £28... BANGS GAVEL

£28 is plus £8. That is a very good start. Well done, team.

-Thank you, Kate. Now, this spice tin.

-It could all go wrong.

The 19th-century spice tin with the six canisters.

My opening bid on the book is £50. £50 I'm bid. At 50.

£50 bid on my book here. Five. At 55.

Down on my left at 55. 60 do I see?

-Oh, come on.

-Oh, no!

-All my bids are gone.

Fair warning. Selling to the room at £55.

-CHUCKLES:

-That's minus 95.

-Pardon?

-Look out. Here come the coconuts.

Three brass-mounted coconut bowls, probably 19th century.

-£12 opening bid.

-£12?!

Bidding online at 15. 18 bid now. Bid at 18. 20 do I see? 20 online.

Bid at 20. Where have you gone in the room? £20. You've disappeared.

22 online now.

-Come on.

-At 22, I'm bid.

Five do I see? The instructions are that they're here to sell.

Selling at 22...

-ALL GASP

-Oh, no!

That's minus 33.

That was minus 87. That's 90.

That's minus £120.

Are you going to go with this plaque? You don't have to.

-No.

-You're not going to do it?

-No.

-Definitely no bonus buy?

-Definitely.

Now that that decision is made, I can reveal that the auctioneer's estimate is £10 to £20.

On the basis of that, you have done well not going with the bonus buy.

On the other hand, the marketplace could show us completely wrong,

because we're going to sell the dish anyway. Here it comes.

The Chinese carved cinnabar-style plaque,

decorated with a dragon and a pearl, but only in resin, unfortunately.

£5 I'm bid here at 5. 8. £ten, I'm bid.

Come on!

£12. 15. I'm bid at 15. 18...

Going up.

..I'm bid at 20. At £20, I'm bid online. 22.

25. 28. New bidding at 28.

That was nothing! But that was the right decision.

It was the right decision, and you didn't go with it.

You've ring-fenced your minus 120.

-That could be a winning score!

-It could be.

In which case, you could still walk away victors. No shame in that.

-The thing is, don't say a word to the Blues.

-No, we won't.

-Not a dicky bird.

In the room at 45...

-Now, you two, do you know how the Reds got on?

-No.

-OK, fine.

Cos basically, you are in a very hot spot here, aren't you?

-You're desperate to win.

-Yeah.

-Oh, yes.

-You're very, very up for any awards that are about.

-Definitely.

All you theatrical types love an award, don't you?

-Baftas...

-I've got my speech ready.

-I'm going to cry.

-Are you going to blame your mother?

Let's start out with the parquetry cottage, a lovely little thing.

The auctioneer likes it. He's put £30 to £50 on it. You paid £62.

It's online.

The parquetry novelty money box designed as a cottage.

My opening bid is £30. £30, I'm bid, on my book.

I don't like the look of this.

£30. 32, looking for...

-Come on!

-No?!

..it's up to you entirely. At £30. Maiden bid, ladies and gentlemen.

32 online. At 32. Fresh bidder, then, at 32.

Five I'm looking for now. Fair warning.

The bidding is online and selling at £32...

Oh! As miserable as sin!

That money box is completely empty. £32 is minus £30.

Now the novelty cane.

An interesting novelty cane. £15 I'm bid here.

£15 only. 18. 20. 22. 25. 28. 30.

32. 35. 38.

Where have you gone to? 38 here.

40. 42. 45 online.

48. 50. 55.

60. 65. 70.

75.

-Are we getting somewhere?

-Nearly.

It's in the room at 75. At £75.

Fair warning at 75... BANGS GAVEL

£75. 75, 85...

-Can we leave now?

-No!

£24. Minus 24. You're minus 54. Now, here comes the pendant.

A nice little Art Nouveau pendant.

Bidding here starts at £30. 32. 35. 38.

42. 42 here. 45.

48. 50.

55. 60. Five.

70. £70 in the room now. You're out on the internet.

£70 right at the back.

At £70. Fair warning. Selling at £70.

That's minus 50, which means you're minus 104.

What are you going to do about the jacket?

-If we're going to sink, we're going to sink well.

-You're going with the bonus buy. You paid only £19, Tom.

The auctioneer likes it. He's put £20 to £30 on it.

You should claw back something. Here it is.

The Royal Fleet Auxiliary jacket.

Bidding opens here at £10 only. 12 I'm bid online. £12.

-Come on.

-£12, I'm bid.

15 do I see? It's here to sell. No mistake.

£12. Internet bidding at £12.

I'm selling... 15, new bidder. £15.

It makes no odds.

£18. I'm bid 18. All still online. At 18.

One more. Come on.

All quiet in the room, then. Selling online at £18.

£18! So close, Tom! Minus £1.

That makes it a lovely round 105, minus 105.

That could be a winning score. Don't say a word to the Reds.

-All will be revealed in a moment.

-Thank you.

-Lovely.

Well, well, well. What a disaster, eh?

It's not so often on Bargain Hunt that we get such massive losses.

It's just a question of scale. There's only £15 between you.

The team that is marginally further behind in this losses-losses stakes

-just happens to be the Reds.

-GROANS/CHEERS

Minus £120 is your number.

-Woo-hoo!

-Yeah!

-It's a pretty good number.

-Spectacular.

You did, however, manage to make a profit on the chopper.

Kate's chopper was your sole ray of sunshine.

-Today was a very tough day, but it's all part of one's life-enhancing skills.

-Yes.

That's the way to look at it. Well done, chaps.

And you didn't do much better. Minus £105.

You managed to lose on absolutely everything.

There wasn't a ray of sunshine for you. You just lost less.

-Was it good fun, though, Jacks?

-It was brill.

Join us soon for some more bargain hunting, yes?

Yes!