Brampton 13 Bargain Hunt

Today we're in the pretty market town of Brampton,

not a couple of miles from Hadrian's Wall

and nine miles from the county town of Carlisle.

Our teams are looking to make a pretty penny, I can tell you.

So, let's go bargain hunting! Yeah.

Well, we'd better mind our Ps and Qs today

because the Cumbrian Antique Centre is housed

in a former church hall.

Let's pray for bumper profits

and take a quick peek as to what's coming up.

On today's show, the Red's rock...

Could see that on an album cover.

That looks very scary.

And the Blues hit rocky waters...

-I'll shut up.

-Oh, ho-ho!

At the auction, all's fair in love...

..and war.

THEY MIMIC A GUN FIGHT

So, let's meet today's teams which are married couples.

Let's hope they stay that way after the fray on Bargain Hunt.

For the Reds we've got Andrea and Wayne,

and for the Blues we've got Nancy and Simon.

-Hello, everyone.

-ALL: Hello!

Lovely to see you. Wayne, are you really an old rocker?

-I am old and I'm definitely a rocker.

-Tell us about your rock.

I love heavy metal.

I love going to watch it, I love playing it. I play bass guitar.

-What's your band?

-I play in two bands actually, playing covers.

Things like The Who, The Jam, Queen. More popular stuff.

Not really my passion, although I do still love playing.

Away from the rock and roll, you and Andrea have become foster carers.

We have indeed, just recently.

Since December we have had two little girls

aged six and seven who are staying with us for the long-term.

Isn't that lovely?

-Quite a lovely experience, is it?

-Yes.

-A bit of a handful, a bit whirlwind, but it's great.

-Exactly.

Are you getting them into the music, then? Is that part of your role?

-Your mentor role.

-I'm trying, but Justin Bieber and One Direction

seem to be taking over at the moment.

Which isn't really my thing!

So, Andrea, tell me - how did you meet this old rocker, then?

I met him and he was the bassist in a band.

I was engaged to the singer at that time.

-Yeah?

-So I was...

-So you ditched the singer, did you?

-I did.

I think I got the best one.

-Were you what they call a bit of a groupie in those days?

-I still am.

I was until we got the girls. I'm always at the front.

-You're also a bit of a hoarder.

-Very much so.

-And you like to buy stuff.

-Mm-hmm.

-What sort of stuff do you like to buy?

Tatty rubbish, really, if you asked Wayne.

You'll do well in Bargain Hunt, then!

No, seriously, how do you reckon you two are going to get on

-on Bargain Hunt today, then?

-He'll just do as he's told, he'll be fine.

-Will he?

He's happy with that too.

Anyway, good luck and good fun.

Now, moving across the Atlantic...

Nancy, I can tell you're not from Cumbria.

-I am from Cumbria.

-OK, not originally, you're not.

No, I'm not. I actually grew up in a small town in Iowa

and then moved to San Francisco to go to university.

Then I lived in Denver and then back to Iowa, Minneapolis, Chicago.

-You've been all over, haven't you?

-I have.

-But you were once told you would never walk again.

-That's right.

What happened?

I had an accident - I was mountain climbing and fell 65 feet

and crushed both my feet, broke my back, my pelvis, my left arm.

And ultimately you had a rather nasty bit of surgery, didn't you?

I did. After ten surgeries on my left foot,

it got to a point there was nothing left they could do.

So they said it's either be in a wheelchair or get your leg amputated.

For me, it was a no-brainer.

I've run several 5Ks and 10Ks, and even run a marathon.

-Did you really?

-I did.

-Fantastic.

Well done for overcoming all of that.

So, Simon, how did you manage to persuade this lovely girl

from North America to come to windy Cumbria?

-Lots of begging!

-Is that what it was? And grovelling.

Yes, I'm very good at that.

I got an offer I couldn't say no to, basically.

What was the opportunity that tempted you both?

I'm a university scientist in my day life, shall we say, my day job,

and the offer was to build a research laboratory here for the

Nuclear Decommissioning Authority in the University of Manchester.

So we packed up, sold all our stuff in the States and moved over here.

So how you going to get on

on Bargain Hunt? Have you got lots of ideas?

-Oh, yes. Lots of quirky things we are looking for.

-Like what?

-I want to spend little and...

-Make lots.

-..profit huge amounts.

Well, now you're talking my language! Anyway, good fun.

I'm going to give you 300 smackers now. 300 smackers each.

There you go. You know the rules, your experts await and off you go.

Very, very, very good luck.

Hands across the ocean, eh?

Let's meet today's experts.

Anita Manning will be keeping an eye on the clock for the Reds.

And the rocking David Harper will be assisting the Blues.

OK, guys, we're heading for the Antique Centre.

We've got 300 quid. Yay! What are you going to buy?

Ooh, well, hopefully something musical

-to go with my heavy metal tastes.

-Heavy metal!

I want to buy something cheap and I want to make a load of money.

Oh, my gosh, you're going to be big trouble.

I hope you're going to be easier.

I like a bit of junk, but anything with any equestrian - horses on -

I might not be able to resist.

The pressure's on - your 60 minutes, teams, starts now.

-Let's get going.

-Let's do it.

-Are you raring to go?

-I am.

-OK, 60 minutes of experiences.

-Let's go.

Wow, look at this place.

-Heading straight for the bar.

-Of course.

I like the bear.

I would buy that in a heartbeat but I bet it's a thousand quid.

-1,450.

-There you go.

275. Yeah.

It would only leave you a wee drop for the other items.

-You're a man of great taste, that's what I have to say.

-Thank you.

Simon, chase your wife up the stairs.

Come on, teams, that's enough fun and games. You need to start the shopping.

HEAVY METAL MUSIC

Here we go - it's a rocky start for the Reds.

Could see that on an album cover!

-That looks very scary.

-Does it?

-Let me see.

He's scary! He's scary!

-I do like it.

-Oh!

-I'm trembling with excitement.

-Are you trembling?

You've got Anita trembling with fear.

-How much is it?

-£85.

Chinese soapstone.

Yes. Soapstone is a soft stone which is easily carved.

This one, we've got the skull of a ram.

It's quite good, it's quite good.

Now, I wouldn't say this is a Victorian piece,

I would say this is probably, again, 20th century.

But it's got a lot of punch.

What do I say when I do that?

-Just make a guttural kind of roar if you like.

-Yeah.

Hurgh! Hurgh!

Terrifying, Anita(!)

Just say to him you'll pay...

You fell in love with it and could you buy it for 40 quid.

Yeah, go on. We'll go for it, I think.

Good luck with that then, Wayne.

Upstairs, the Blues have found a jazzy brooch.

It's very smart and it's got some good weight to it.

Hallmarks... Get that big eyeglass out, Nancy, find a hallmark for me.

Crikey, you have come prepared!

-It's on the back, isn't it?

-Yeah, well done.

There is an import mark. So, 1972.

It's novel, it's different. I've never seen anything like it before.

It is silver. I think silver's a good idea.

-Do you think 32 is a good price?

-I think it's fantastic.

I think it'll be 30 to 50 in a sale. 20 to 30 in sale.

If we get it a bit cheaper.

-You're not impressed at all, Nancy, are you?

-No.

-'Oh, dear.

'It's not playing Nancy's tune. So what about the Reds?

'Are they talking low notes with Steve from the Antique Centre?'

£45.

Let's do it. I'm happy with that.

Well done, Reds. £85 down to £45. What a discount.

-Shake my hand.

-You'll end up buying this back for yourself!

Steve, the Blues need you upstairs. They're talking money.

-I would pay ten for that.

-Would you?

We came here looking for quirky and I think that's quirky. I like it.

-I think if we can get that for 30...

-No!

-Yes!

-15?

-What do you think, Steve?

-I like the gentleman's idea.

-You're very cute.

-Thank you!

Will Steve be seduced by Nancy's flattery?

-All right, then, 26.

-You see?!

He certainly is!

-You said it!

-OK, 26, no more compliments.

-Shall we do it?

-Shall we do it?

-OK.

-Steve, thank you.

-Let me shake your hand quickly before she says anything else.

-Thank you very much, Steve.

Well done, Blues. So both teams have their first item

with 12 minutes on the clock.

-Keep on going.

-OK.

-Don't look so disappointed.

Back downstairs, are the Reds barking up the right tree?

I keep looking at that, I quite like that.

It is cute, and it's got a wonderful expression and it's endearing.

But look at the back and see if it's got a maker's stamp on it.

-No.

-What is appealing about this is that it's so cute.

-Aha.

-And if it was just a few pounds, yeah, but at £26...

You'd expect the rest of the dog for that.

Paws, tail, tongue, everything.

OK, PAWS that there, then.

You can come back to it.

He's looking at me, he knows where I am.

Does he follow you as you move round the room?

Sticking its tongue out at me.

Back to the Blues.

Do we like a bit of Lalique? I love Lalique.

I'm just looking at Nancy's face and wondering if she's loving Lalique?

I'm...

It hasn't quite touched me.

DAVID LAUGHS

Oh! She's not la-la-liking this item either.

I absolutely adore Lalique. It just oozes style and class.

You can buy them new today and they are fabulously expensive.

But it's the early ones that really fascinate me.

Now, have a look at that. Love it, Nancy, love it.

It says on the tag that it's 1930s and it's - on the base - signed

"Lalique, France".

If we get this, then I get to pick the next one because so far...

I know, but never mind...

-I'll shut up.

-Oh, ho-ho!

I love a bit of an argument. It really adds a bit of spice.

That's his standard, "I'll just shut up."

Is that what he always says?

-Yes.

-Typical! Honestly!

-And walks away.

Stop stirring, David.

Meanwhile, the Reds have sniffed out a snuff box

with a ticket price of £28.

I like the girl on there. It's like a story, isn't it?

It looks like it's from the 1940s.

It's not made of precious metals.

No, no.

It's a...a white metal

with a sort of cellophane picture on it.

It's not hand-painted or anything. But it has got the look.

I think it's got...

I think if we could get it for, like, I don't know...£10, maybe?

If you can get it for £10, that would be superb

but I doubt if you'll get it for as low as that.

-But I think that little box has got potential.

-Do you like it?

Well, it's not really my kind of thing but I knew it would be yours

and I know you like it, so if you're happy, I'm happy.

He's nice.

Oh, you softie. So much for being a tough rocker.

Not everyone's such a pushover, though.

-I thought you weren't supposed to buy anything that had chips in them?

-You know what? I do.

And if something is beautiful,

it's still beautiful if it has a little chip out of it.

-OK.

-Do you love it, Nancy?

I like it.

I don't love it.

-OK.

-But I like it.

-OK. Shall I get a price?

-Yes, please.

She's hard to please, this Nancy.

But David, off you go and get a price.

Talking of prices, Andrea, have you got a good one for the snuff box?

-How did you get on?

-I got it for 15.

-That's a good buy.

Another one in the bag, Reds.

A holiday on the profits ever closer!

Have you ever watched Bargain Hunt before, Wayne?

But you never know, anything can happen at the auction.

So back to the Blues, and has David got a price on the Lalique dish?

Right, OK, let's see, Nancy, if it touches you now.

-Are you ready for it?

-I'm ready.

-75.

-I...

-Simon, is it touching you?

-It's touching me.

-It's touching me!

-Nancy, is it touching you?

-No!

-No! No!

-Are we buying it, Nancy?

-N...

-Yes!

-Yes! Second buy, well done.

Lordy, thank goodness for that. Two down for the Blues.

-Shall we have a look downstairs?

-It's my turn.

Yes, definitely your turn.

So, from one intriguing game to another.

Look what I found down the road in Hexham.

There are some oddball objects, you know,

in the far away corners of the United Kingdom...

like this fellow.

What is going on here?

Well, on the face of it, it is a deliciously turned lump of wood.

Strictly speaking, a piece of treen, because that's what turned wood is.

Just look at the detail in all these different mouldings.

The top has a series of concentric rings which are perfectly formed,

absolutely smooth to the touch and are centred by this concave section.

By the look of the colour of the timber,

I don't think this thing is any earlier than about 1900 in date.

It could have been turned anywhere between, say, 1900 and 1940.

But it contains some surprises.

The lower part, which is in the form of a perfect spool,

comes away from the upper part.

The upper part has a little recess - call that the female -

and the lower part has a little projection - call that the male.

Put the male and the female together.

So perfectly has this object

been turned, that they lock and they don't come apart.

So beautifully has this thing been made.

Now, if you look at the upper part, it is

effectively a cylinder within a cylinder.

Because if I pull the upper, upper part,

the central convex section stays where it is.

-Then if you shake it around a bit,

-RATTLING

there's something rattling inside, and when I put the top

up like this, look, hey presto!

A bright yellow turned ball.

Turn to the lower part and pull these cylinders apart -

and they're a very tight fit -

and it reveals a compartment with no less than five

turned wooden counter trays.

Each one with a different colour in the middle.

But look how beautifully these have been turned.

They are wafer thin,

and the turner has even been able to achieve a little outer lip

to stop whatever's put on the tray

from rolling or falling out.

And if I set these out, we've got purple and green

and red and

yellow and a pale coloured timber with a cross in the middle of it.

So that is where the yellow ball should sit,

inside the coloured yellow counter tray.

-RATTLING

-Do the shake-up process again, pull it up,

and out comes a green counter, which goes in there.

I can only imagine that this is a game of chance,

where you place your wager - a sovereign or two -

in the appropriate coloured tray and then make the draw,

and that will entitle you to win your wager.

Now, the price here in Hexham

of this delicious tour de force

of the treen maker's art

could be yours for £50.

Double or quits?

Well, our teams certainly aren't quitting. Back to the shopping.

Both teams have two items, and the race is on to find their third,

with 25 minutes left on the clock.

What are we looking at here?

Well, it's a spinning wheel. I don't know how to use one.

-I'd like to learn how.

-I don't know how you use the thing.

-Presumably it is for decoration.

-No...

-You can use it.

-Look at that.

I bet that works. Look at that. That is a piece of machinery.

Well, what do you think, Nancy?

-That is speaking to me.

-Seriously? Is it?

-Yes.

-What is it saying?

It says, "Take me home so you can learn how to do this."

-Really?

-Yes.

Finally something Nancy likes.

It is definitely 19th century, and if you look at the little turnings

and the decoration, I think it is probably

earlier in the 19th century.

Very late Georgian, very early Victorian - 1830, 40.

-So...

-Do you love the patination, the feel?

-I do.

I can tell you, Simon, that you only get that patination with

generations of wax and polish.

It has never been stripped or varnished,

it's got its natural colour.

-But it's got to be cheap, because it's just a piece of decoration.

-Yeah.

So let's find Steve.

-Steve.

-'Ticket price is £95. Steve,

'prepare for the charm offensive.'

You're looking very lovely right now, by the way.

Sorry, we are going for compliments.

-Give Steve some compliments.

-'Well, it has worked before.'

-STEVE:

-Right, what are we talking about here? Price-wise.

30 quid.

-STEVE:

-That's a fantastic thing!

-Yeah, I would think 30.

-I think it's gorgeous, I love it.

-STEVE:

-£30?

I would be crazy.

-Give me a decent profit. 31.

-DAVE LAUGHS

-31.

-Deal.

-No.

-Shake his hand!

-31.

-30.

-Shake his hand.

THEY LAUGH

-30.

-Nancy.

-30. STEVE:

-£30, you've done it again.

-NANCY LAUGHS

-That last pound...

NANCY LAUGHS

Well, you can't say the Blues weren't on a roll.

Well done - all three items bought.

-Done! We are done, we are done. Well done.

-STEVE:

-It is a lovely thing.

I'm very happy I finally got something I like.

It is a good job, otherwise I'd have heard it all the way home.

And for years to come.

Wise move, I think there, Simon.

So, 12 minutes left.

You Reds need to get a gallop on and find your final item.

-It is quite heavy, actually.

-This is an interesting thing.

Again it is horse-related. You can't keep away from it.

It's an inkwell which has been made out of a pony's hoof.

And this, quite possibly, could have been a pit pony.

And what would have happened at the end of its life... Its owner,

who would have loved it and felt great affection for this animal,

would have had this little inkwell made out of a hoof.

And we know that the pit pony perhaps

-died in 1960.

-Yeah.

And its name was Alain.

And I think that's a lovely thing.

Do we know how much it is?

Ticket price was 60, the best he can do is 50.

But I think that's a good buy...

-..at that price.

-There's only minutes left.

You need to make a decision.

-I think we'll go with that, then.

-OK.

-Happy with that?

-Yes.

Hold your horses, that's all three items for the Reds,

with just minutes to spare.

The sands of time wait for no man, so, teams, time's up.

Let's check out what the Red team bought, eh?

Our rockers went on a RAM-page (ha!), and bought this

ram's skull for £45.

Hoping that they have a nose for a bargain,

they paid £15 for this 20th-century snuff box.

And in the final furlong, they cantered home with

the horse's hoof inkwell for £50.

Where's the other three?

-Well, Wayne, Andrea - was that fun or was it fun?

-That was great fun.

I bet it was fun. Looked fun. Now, how much did you spend?

-110.

-I would like 190 of leftover lolly, please.

-There you go.

You don't like handing that over one little bit, do you?

-Now, which is your favourite piece?

-I liked the little snuffbox.

-Do you agree, Wayne?

-No.

-What is your favourite?

Soapstone ram's head.

-Yeah?

-Great.

-Is that going to bring the biggest profit?

-No.

-No. What is?

-The little snuffbox, I think.

-OK. You are sticking with the snuffbox.

OK, fine, lovely, that's our predictions.

Anyway, a wodge goes over to Anita Manning.

What are you going to spend that dosh on, Anita?

Well, I'm hoping, with all this money, to beat

some profit for these guys here,

-because they were quite wonderful.

-Oh, that sounds rhythmic.

Anyway. Good luck with that, Anita.

Why don't we check out what the Blue team bought, eh?

Hoping they've hit the right note,

they blew £26 on this

saxophone-shaped silver brooch.

And building up to a crescendo,

they went "ooh-la-la" over this French Lalique circular dish

and paid £75.

And finally, they're hoping for a WHEELIE good profit

on this 19th-century mahogany spinning wheel.

Oh, dear.

-Well, that was fun, wasn't it?

-It was a blast.

-Excellent.

-Now, Nancy, tell me which is your favourite piece?

-The spinning wheel.

-The spinning wheel. Do you agree with that?

-No.

Nothing simple about Simon, is there? OK.

-I liked the little silver saxophone, the brooch.

-Really? Good.

You like it. Will it bring the biggest profit?

I think, of the three we've got, it will bring the biggest profit, yes.

-Do you agree with that, Nancy?

-No.

-There we go, here we go again.

I think the two things... Because he picked two out of the three.

I think both of his are going to lose money.

-Oh!

-No support.

-She's hoping...

Now, so that's that, how much did you spend overall?

-Er...

-131.

-131.

Oh, 131. What's that?

-169.

-That's about right.

-Roughly.

OK, you don't need to be a nuclear physicist to add that.

-But you got the fusion right.

-Yes, that's right.

-OK, fine, here we go.

-There you go.

-I'm counting on him.

Yes, he could have his work cut out today, though, boy.

I think... Mind you, there's plenty of good things in here, Tim, it is

quite a delight. We are surrounded.

What can you find that is going

to make that profit? That extra bite, boy.

This is the thing. Full of good things, but maybe

-too good for my budget.

-I know.

I'm thinking a £200 profit, probably.

-Are you?

-Yes.

-I think...

-She is piling the pressure on me, Tim.

-Think on, that's all I can say.

Anyway, jolly good fun, you've been

watching too much television, you have.

Anyway, that's it for that. Off you go, David, and good luck

because shortly we will be shuffling straight off to the auction.

-Thank you very much. Thank you, Nancy.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Well, how lovely is this, to be in Paul Laidlaw's saleroom in Carlisle?

Great to be here.

Now, we've got this archaic style stone lump,

said to be Chinese.

-Could be anything, really, couldn't it?

-Indeed.

Look, I've got that keyword, "style", in there.

I don't think there's any great age to it, I think

it was long ago in a container, I suspect.

But it's a mystery object. I don't know what the origin...

I don't though what they are trying to produce or reproduce here.

-But I will tell you what it is - it's a speculator's piece.

-Yes.

-It is a bit of fun, a desk ornament. How much?

-£20-£40.

-If you want it, it's got to be worth that.

-Exactly,

£45 is what they paid,

so I suspect that there's going to be a small loss there.

When it comes to little boxes, as you know, I'm passionate.

Chromium plated with a print in the top don't really do it for me.

I'm in your camp with this one, Tim.

-Ordinarily, I wouldn't be rushing to stick a lot number on it.

-Exactly.

And if the truth be known, you would have 15 or 20 of them, you

would stick them in a box and they would be in at £40-£60 for 15 to 20.

-You've got one on its own, what's your estimate?

-I've gone at £10-£20.

-But it could make two, frankly?

-Yes.

And the team paid £15, so they didn't pay a lot of money for it.

The bit that I do like, though, is this hoof inkwell.

-It's a fine object, isn't it?

-It's a cracking thing.

If that is your thing, short of turning up the Holy Grail,

the silver mounted one, that is about as good

as you will hope to find.

-What is it worth?

-£50-£80.

-Brilliant, £50 paid.

-Aye, good buy.

Excellent. Well, on that basis,

I don't think this team are going to do too badly,

but on the other hand, they might need their bonus buy,

so let's go have a look at it.

W and A, Wayne and Andrea.

Ha-ha. This is your moment.

You spent £110, you gave £190 to A Manning.

Anita, what did you buy?

Well, I have two rock and rollers here, two musicos.

And in music, the most important thing is the beat.

But I've bought something you would find on another

type of beat.

-LAUGHTER

-Ah!

It's a copper's truncheon.

This is late 19th, early 20th century.

And this is what the police would have carried.

Now, I like this one because it has

some painted detail on it.

Now, there were many different forces in Britain at that time,

and each force had a different

design on there,

for their emblem or their area, so...

What do you think of that?

Does this type of beat...

SHE LAUGHS

-..press your buttons?

-Yes.

-Can we tell which force it's from?

-It is quite a nice weight there.

Is it quite a nice weight?

Now, could you beat a drum with it, do you think?

-But you were a bass player, weren't you?

-I am.

-For beating the strings as well.

-So how much did you pay for it?

-I paid £30.

-Oh.

-Didn't break the bank, then.

-No.

£30 is not a bad price for it.

The painting is not as sharp as it was.

Is there no way to identify which force it was from?

You probably could, doing a little bit of homework and maybe

taking some photographs and blowing it up, you could identify it.

So how much do you think it will bring, with the smudge...

-Well, I think it maybe could go to £50.

-Oh, that's fine.

-On a good day.

-So, are you happy?

-Yes.

You've got all your information, that's brilliant.

And now, for the audience at home, let's find out what

the auctioneer thinks about Anita's little truncheon.

Right then, Paul.

-Hello, hello.

-Indeed.

-HE LAUGHS

It's rather rubbed, isn't it?

It is, to within an inch of its life...I fear.

You get the right obscure constabulary unit,

and these things can make a small fortune. Um...

But, in themselves,

painted truncheons aren't rare.

And this, sadly, isn't the first one you would rush to buy.

-OK.

-Purely because it has just lost its appeal.

-Mmm.

I agree with you. How much, in this rubbed state?

-£20-£30 is probably a bullish estimate.

-Is it?

OK, Anita bought it as a bonus buy, and she paid 30.

-So she's not far off.

-We are in the right boundary.

Now, that's it for the Reds, now for the Blues,

and a lovely mixture they've got.

The novelty brooch in the form of a saxophone.

That's a good thing.

That is not an antique, but it's a good thing.

There's good workmanship there, its price.

There is substance to it - it's not lightweight, throwaway.

I... Look, I think you buy that for £20-£40, that's a good buy.

-OK, £26 was paid. So they paid the right price, didn't they?

-Yeah.

Good. Now, next. I really rate this next job, because Lalique is

the most surprising factory when it comes to sales,

isn't it, at auction?

Because the internet bids that can be attracted to the right

-piece of Lalique are extraordinary.

-They are.

I love the form of this, I love the quality of the metal,

the blue opaline aspect to it.

-It is a good little dish!

-Isn't it?

-So, they paid 75.

-That is a good buy.

-Good buy.

-What is your estimate?

-I've gone in at 60 to 100 on that.

-And it could easily make £120.

-Yeah.

'That's a good estimate. Despite the small chip.'

-And, lastly, we've got the spinning wheel.

-Yes.

Again, we see up and down the country no end of spinning wheels.

But this is better than most.

The quality of the turning... the balusters are lovely.

It is not a rustic piece. This is a better quality example.

-So, what's your estimate?

-40 to 80.

-Lovely, I'm loving it.

£30 they paid.

Oh, we've got a good warm feeling about the Blues,

they are never going to need their bonus buy, but let's go and have a look at it anyway.

-Well, this is exciting, isn't it?

-It's very exciting.

-Sure is.

Yeah, sure is. I mean, to give a man like David Harper

-£169...

-We're very generous.

..and to send him boldly forth is quite something, isn't it?

-Yeah, and scary.

-And scary.

Well, prepare to be really frightened

because David is about to reveal what he spent the £169 on.

-Go, Dave, go.

-OK. Well, I think we are going to go on a musical theme.

So, inside this little fitted case...

-Which looks like a pipe case.

-It does. It does.

-We have something that looks like...

-Oh!

..an X-ray gun.

THEY LAUGH

-Now, Simon knows all about x-rays and radiation.

-Yes.

-And all that business.

-So...

-How does that work then, Simon?

I have no idea what it actually is.

Well, it is a musical instrument,

and it's an ancient musical instrument, not necessarily

that one, but the model itself dates back thousands of years.

-And the pronunciation is...

-Ocarina.

-Ocarina! That's the one, yes.

-Don't break it.

So you blow into it, and that, the little silver-plated

tube there, will change the tune.

It is late 19th century, it is a Parisian maker.

It's a fun thing.

-Do you blow into the handle?

-I think you do.

-Would you blow across the top of it, like a flute?

-No idea.

FAINT BLOWING

-Well, that doesn't work.

-That's not so good, that.

I personally would like to know where it's been before I blow.

-Do you like it?

-Yes, I do. It is just...

it is quirky, it is unique, I have never, ever seen anything like it.

-Now let's get down to business.

-Shall we?

OK, well, I paid 65.

-Mmm.

-What do you think about that?

I have just no concept about what the actual value of it would be, but

-it's...

-I'm slightly concerned by that face.

-How do you feel, Nance?

-A bit sick?

-A little bit.

-Yeah.

-I don't know if that's because I blew on it or I heard the price.

SHE LAUGHS

I take it from that grimace that you don't think it's worth £65?

Is that your instinctive reaction or do you think, "That is cool for 65"?

I think it is going to depend on the people we have at the auction.

-Yeah. It is a long way from Peru, is Carlisle.

-It is.

-I think...

-I would be more impressed if somebody could play it.

Yes, I know. I'm so sorry to let you down in that respect.

Brilliant. Thank you very much, Dave, for educating us today.

You don't choose until after the sale of your first three items,

but right now, for the audience at home,

let's find out what the auctioneer thinks about Dave's ocarina.

Well, well, well.

We see some weird things on this programme,

-and this is about to take the ticket, I think.

-Yeah...

I love this.

Of age, cries out late 19th century. In its case.

And stamped up Mezzetti.

Now, the Mezzetti brothers play a key role

in the refinement of the ocarina

as a musical instrument in the late 19th century.

Originating in Italy, settling in Paris,

-this is a Parisian made piece.

-Have you ever played one?

-I have not.

No, me neither, and we're not going to start now.

-OK, what is your estimate?

-40 to 80.

OK, the Harper paid £65, he's a cunning fox. Brilliant.

-Well, I'm looking forward to this, are you looking forward to it?

-Absolutely.

-Me too.

Thank you anyway. Anyone else?

Wayne. How many times do you go to auction, mate?

Oh, I've been at least...

-This is my first time.

-What about you, Andrea?

-My first time too.

-Is it really?

-I look on the internet.

-You are standing next door to two people who've

been to an auction or two. Aren't they, Anita?

Thousands, millions.

And every one is different and every one is exciting.

OK, first up, then, is the Chinese green stone, and here it comes.

Lot 196 now.

It's a striking object, is it not?

This hand-carved green stone

Chinese carving, the ram's skull.

What think you of that? £20 to get me started. Let's get it moving.

£20 where? £20.

£20. 20 bid. 25. 30.

£30 here. Who else is bidding? £30. £30.

30 bid. £30. 30 bid.

Is that it? My bid is here in the room. Fair warning.

I sell at £30.

Uh-oh. £30 is -15.

That's not so hot, but he was trying, wasn't he?

Lot 197.

Here's a charming little object, is it not?

1930s, '40s.

Little pill or snuffbox.

Anyone, £40? £10 to get me started. £10 bid. £10.

10 bid. 15. 15.

15, it is all on the net at the moment.

Where is the audience? 18, 20. 22.

25. 25 here. 25. 25.

I think it is a lovely little lot. Nothing for £25. Thank you, sir. 28.

28. 28. Internet, come again. 30 we have.

£30. 32. 32. 35.

35 - it's a slogging match. 38 in the room.

38. 40.

Not a lot of money. £40. You sure? One more might do it.

£40 on the net. Quite sure you're all done?

I sell.

-£40.

-Well done.

That is plus £25.

So, well done.

Lot 198 now. It is a great thing.

This really is very, very pleasingly worked and electroplated.

Cracking little thing for you equestrian lovers out there.

I have a bit of interest on the books.

I might as well get it started with me at £40 bid. £40. 40 bid. £40.

45, 50. 5. 60.

-5. 70.

-Hey!

-With me at 75.

80. 5 with me.

85. 85.

With me on commission. 90, I'm out. It is on the net.

£90. 90 bid. £90.

90 bid. My bid is on the net.

Fair warning, I sell at £90.

So £90. The big question is where are the other three?

THEY LAUGH

OK, plus £40, plus £10 equals

-plus £50. You are £50 up.

-Oh!

-Is that good, chickens, or not?

-Yes.

-Sounds good to me.

So what are you going to do about the police truncheon?

Are you going to risk it for a biscuit, or park your £50?

She can't help you. What are you going to do?

She doesn't need to help me. We are going for it. We are going for it.

-Are you?

-Yes.

-Definitely?

-Definitely.

We are going with the bonus buy.

I can now tell you that the auctioneer's estimate is £20-£40.

You paid £30, that's slap bang in the middle.

It seems like a wise decision to me.

You're going with the bonus buy, and here we go.

Lot 202 now. The police truncheon.

Great little lot this, ladies and gentlemen. £20 for a start.

£20 for the truncheon. 20 bid. £20. 20 bid.

22. 25. 25.

28. And 30. £30.

£30. In the room, £30. 32.

-32 on the net.

-She's in profit.

Are you sure, it's a nice one? 32. 32.

35 - fresh outbreak. 35.

35. 38.

40. £40 at the back of the room.

42. Sir? 45. Thank you.

45. Internet?

48. And 50. Thank you, sir.

£50 at the back of the room. £50. 55. Sir?

55 on the net. Anyone else interested?

My bid is on the net. Fair warning, I sell

at £55.

-Ah!

-Anita, that is plus £25, my darling.

That is plus £75 overall for the team.

-We made a profit!

-How magnificent is that?

-Well done, well done, guys!

-That is cracking.

-Group hug!

-We made a profit!

-Happy hunting.

-Now, don't say a word to the Blues, all right?

-No.

Schtum. Schtum indeed.

-Simon, Nancy - do you know how the Reds got on?

-No, have no idea.

Did they look confident when you passed them in the corridor?

-They looked sad.

-Did they?

-They did!

-Oh, dear.

Oh, well, there we go.

Anyway - first up is the novelty silver brooch in the form of a sax.

-And here it comes.

-OK.

Lot 215 - cracking little brooch, this.

Real quality, and nothing frivolous about this.

20th-century silver brooch, modelled as a saxophone.

I can start the bidding at 28. 30? £30.

30 bid. 32.

32, takes me straight out.

Well done, Simon.

You'll be well pleased.

40. 2.

5.

45. 45 - you're quite sure you're all done?

I'm selling at £45.

Look at that. Four off 30.

That is plus £19.

Lot 216 now.

It's a cracker of a little mid 20th-century Lalique circular dish.

50 to get me started.

£50 there? £50 there?

50 bid. £50, we're off.

£50, 50 bid. £50, 50 bid.

This is Lalique, ladies and gentlemen.

Where are you on this?

55, 55.

60.

5.

70.

5.

75 with the lady at the back - anyone else? 75.

75.

Well, fair warning - I'll sell, but have no regrets.

Last chance and selling, at £75.

-Just 75?

-At 75?

-75.

-Yeah. Disappointing.

Well, no profit, no loss.

Lot 217 now.

So far as they go,

this is an absolute cracker, ladies and gentlemen.

Exquisitely Georgian, baluster-turned mahogany.

Start me at 40?

The spinning wheel?

£40. Quick, quick - where are you on this? £40 bid. £40.

40 bid, £40. 40 bid, £40.

40 bid, £40.

A gift. 42.

45.

45 in the room.

45.

My bid's here in the room.

You're quite sure? I sell at £45.

50. 50... 48, we have?

Yes!

50 now, in the room.

£50. £50. 50 bid.

My bid's in the room. Without further ado...

It's going. Last chance - at £50...

-Yes!

-Plus £20.

You are now plus £39.

Now, what are we going to do about this ocarina?

-I think we're going to reject it, just because we...

-Seriously?

-Yes.

We reject it.

She's not happy, Nancy, is she?

-I can tell in that face.

-We're rejecting it.

We're very happy if it makes money, but I would like to bank.

-You want to bank?

-Mr Sensible.

-OK.

Here we go - here comes the bonus buy, which is rejected.

Lot 221.

Well, I absolutely love this. Any ocarina players in the audience?

Cracking example, in excellent condition,

complete with its leather-covered case.

40, the ocarina.

40. Where are you with this? Quick, quick.

£40 bid, £40.

£40. £40 bid, £40.

-Is that it, maiden bidder?

-Ooh, no!

£40, 42.

42. 42. 42.

45. 45.

48.

-48, a new player enters the fray.

-Go on.

Come again, internet. 50.

5. Your turn, madam.

60.

It's in the room. Net's out.

£60, in the centre.

65, fresh outbreak.

-70, on the net.

-Yes!

HE MIMICS GUNSHOTS

75 here, standing.

75, standing. Fair warning - I sell.

My bid's here. At £75...

Yes, well done. David, you are vindicated. It is a plus 10.

-Don't worry, Simon - I won't hold it against you.

-What did I say?

-You said go with it.

-Yes.

OK, seriously - you're £39 up,

don't say a word to the Reds.

-Add all be revealed in a moment.

-OK.

-You are marvellous, all of you.

Well, well, well - what a successful day it's been, hasn't it? Gosh!

-Haven't we had fun?

-Very much so.

-We have had fun.

We've had a lot of fun.

We've had so much fun I can hardly contain myself.

And, of course, it's lovely

-when you have two teams who've made substantial profits.

-Wahey.

Just a question of scale, really.

-And the runners up today, are, I'm afraid, the Blues.

-Aw!

Man!

And I'd love to hand over the £39

which comes with love, Nancy, I have to say.

Because - here's two, sweetie, and here's another two,

because I know you can count and everything.

Anyway, moving onto the Reds -

who win today by making £75 of profits.

£75 - there's your £75.

-Thank you.

-Slight loss on the archaic Chinese, yes?

That was not so hot.

But £25 on the plated snuffbox. And the hoof made £40.

-That was really cantering along, wasn't it?

-Mm-hm.

And, lastly, the truncheon, that made you £25.

You went with the bonus buy, and you came out on top. Happy about that?

-Fabulous.

-Wayne?

-You gripping that money tightly?

-I am, yeah.

-She's not going to give you any, I can tell you that!

-I can see that!

Anyway, a fantastic day.

In fact, we've had such a lovely time,

why don't you join as soon for some more bargain hunting, yes?

ALL: Yes!