Episode 25 Beat the Brain

Hello, it's me, The Brain.

These are the kind of challenges our team will face today.

Have a go at home.

Count the missing bricks.

Try one more.

Memorise the name and image.

I'll relieve your anxiety by giving you the answers

at the end of the show.

Now let's see if four brains are better than one.

It's Beat The Brain.

APPLAUSE

Here's a man who can have my number any time he likes - John Craven.

Well, thank you very much.

Hello, everybody and welcome to Beat The Brain,

the show that tests your mind not your general knowledge.

So, Brain, how are you going to treat us in the next 30 minutes?

I will treat you lovingly, my Johnny. With the others I'll be ruthless.

And believe me, that's no empty threat.

So, let's find out how our team copes. Please introduce yourselves.

I'm Marcus and I'm a safeguarding officer.

I'm Richard and I'm a police response officer.

I'm Dan and I'm a police detective.

I'm Tom, I'm the team captain and I'm also a police detective.

APPLAUSE

Well, welcome everybody.

Obviously, an arresting team and Tom, you're the captain,

-have you chosen a name?

-We have, yes. West Mids' Finest.

Why is that, West Midlands Finest?

It's a play on the words from an American police film, Brooklyn's Finest.

-So, you're all members of the West Midlands force, are you?

-Yes.

-And you're all in a football team, as well?

-That's right.

We all know each other through football, mainly.

But we all work for the West Midlands, as well.

-So, are you in a West Midlands Police football team?

-Yes.

And how do you do?

-LAUGHTER

-It's hard work at times

trying to juggle football and work and home lives but we do well enough at times.

-So, are you ready to kick off now?

-Yes.

Let's find out how you do, because this is how it works.

The show's Brain is divided into six Zones.

Now, The Brain will select four Zones out of those six for you to play.

And Tom, as team captain, you've got to decide which team member

you think will play best in each of the Zones, OK?

You'll face a series of questions in each Zone, with each correct answer

adding three seconds to what we call your Brain Bank.

The more time you build up, the more chance you have of beating The Brain

in today's final, and walking away with the jackpot of £3,000.

So, let's find out which Zone you'll be facing first.

So, Brain, the Zone, please.

-Logic. So Tom, who should play in the Logic Zone?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-You're going to go with me?

-You was confident.

-I'll have a go.

So, it's Marcus. Come and join me, then, in the Logic Zone.

APPLAUSE

Good to see you, Marcus.

Now, what kind of role do you have in the West Midlands Police?

I safeguard domestic violence victims.

So, when a case has been established you make sure they're safe?

I try and make sure that there are things in place

so that it doesn't happen again with that person.

On a lighter note, I think you can limbo quite well, can't you?

I'm not bad. Sometimes after a few shandies.

I have been known to do a limbo as a bit of a party trick.

Well, we find now how good you are

at playing Logic. Brain, can we have the first game, please

-Hello, Marcus.

-Hello, Brain.

-I hear you're scared of monkeys.

Only ones that are chasing after me in Thailand, yes.

LAUGHTER

You're sitting next to a cheeky monkey.

HE CHUCKLES

-OK.

-Don't know about that.

-Think she likes you.

Here's your first game.

Three darts will be thrown.

You must add up the score and subtract it from the total.

To help you out, have a trial run.

Double 10,

8,

3.

That'll leave 470.

-470, well done. You a darts player?

-I don't really play darts -

my arithmetic's all right, they usually use me to score

when they're playing darts.

-So, this could be your sort of game, then?

-Fingers crossed, yeah.

So, Brain, over to you.

You have 45 seconds to answer three questions correctly.

Please remember, Marcus, I can only accept your first answer.

Marcus, your game starts now.

16,

7,

11.

-378.

-378...

-Oh, sugar!

..is that right?

-467.

-Miles out!

-Next one, please.

16,

18,

double 7.

44, 48... Leaves 419.

419, you're saying.

Absolutely right. One to go.

6,

double 19,

triple 13.

38, 44...

..74, 83...

..leaves...

-..436.

-436.

-Oh, 336. Oh, no.

-No.

336, having a mare, there.

Oh, dear. Never mind.

-Better luck when you're scoring at the pub?

-Yeah.

-You've got three seconds in the Brain Bank to start with.

-Yeah.

-OK.

See if you can put a few more in now as you play game two.

Here's your second game, Marcus.

Rock beats scissors, scissors beat paper and paper beats rock.

You need to identify all three missing items.

Marcus, to get your eye in, have a trial run.

-What's the top one on the left?

-Top one on the left is rock.

The middle one is, again, rock.

-And the bottom right one would be scissors.

-Scissors.

-Rock, rock, scissors, you're saying.

-Yeah.

-Is that correct?

You are right. You used to play this in the playground?

Yeah, quite a lot, yeah.

-So, ready to play for real?

-Ready to play for real.

Can we have the game, please?

You have 45 seconds to answer three questions correctly.

But please remember, I can only accept your first answer.

Your game starts now.

Top one, paper.

Second one, scissors.

Third one, rock.

Paper, scissors, rock, you're saying... Yeah, well done. Next one.

First one is scissors.

Second one, paper.

Third one, scissors.

Yes, well done. One to go.

And the first one is paper,

second one's scissors,

third one, paper.

Paper, scissors, paper. Yes!

Well, that was very good.

-That was a very, very impressive game.

-Thank you.

You really redeemed yourself on that one.

I know, I needed to after that first one.

That was one of my stronger ones, I felt, as well.

Never mind, you were strong on the second one. Wasn't he, Brain?

Yes. Marcus, in true limbo fashion you suddenly bent over backwards

to get all those right.

You added 12 seconds in that Zone, which means West Mids' Finest

-have 12 seconds in their Brain Bank.

-A very good score, Marcus.

-Lovely to meet you.

-Thank you very much.

Please rejoin your fellow officers.

Now it's time to find out what our next Zone is going to be

and who is going to take it on. So, Brain, the Zone, please.

Observation. So, Captain Tom, who is going to play in this Zone?

-You should all be good at Observation!

-I'd like to think so!

THEY LAUGH AND MURMUR

Until there's a bit of pressure on, the camera!

-I'm happy with Observation.

-Come and join me, Captain Tom, then.

APPLAUSE

-Good to see, Tom. Now, I hear you have a nickname....

-Apparently.

-..on the football team. What's that?

-Badmin.

-Badmin? What does that mean?

Well, I'm the secretary of the club so I do all the admin.

And when they think I've done a bad job, I then become Badmin.

-So you're bad at admin?

-Apparently.

-And yet they still choose you as their captain?

-Yeah.

I'm the only one that can get these three together

and actually get them in one place at one time.

-And how do you feel about playing this particular Zone?

-I felt strong.

It's part of my day-to-day job, as well, I'd like to think.

I don't want to big that up too much

in case I don't particularly do well.

So, let's see how you do.

Brain, what's the first game that Tom is going to be playing?

-Hello, Captain Tom.

-Hello, Brain.

-I hear you're a comic book geek.

-Certainly am.

-Who's your favourite?

-Spider-Man.

Well, Spider-Man Tom, today I'm going to be your Green Goblin.

-Let battle commence.

-Let's go for it.

This is your first game.

What's the difference in value between the two totals?

To give you some practice, Captain Tom, here's a trial run.

OK... 1p.

1p, you're saying. Well done, yeah.

Are you a person who always checks their change?

I'm constantly putting change in my kids' piggy banks,

so constantly handling it.

Well, let's see if you can do well against The Brain, then,

in this round. Off we go.

Captain Tom, you only have 45 seconds to answer three questions correctly.

-And please remember, I can only accept your first answer.

-OK.

Your game starts now.

-I'm going to go for 3p.

-3p, you're saying.

You're right, yes. Next one.

30 seconds.

-You can pass if you want.

-No...

-£1.50.

-£1.50, you think.

49p. The last one coming up, with 12 seconds.

Quickly. Guess.

-No.

-Sorry. Your time is out, I'm afraid.

-OK.

-You need to check your small change more carefully in future!

Yes.

So the answer was...£1.50.

So, let's go on to the second game now.

-I was very harsh there, wasn't I, Tom?

-Yeah, that was a tough one.

Here's your second game.

Count the number of missing bricks.

To get you in the groove, have a trial run.

How many bricks have disappeared?

Five, six, seven...

-11.

-11, you say.

Is he correct?

-12, it was. You missed one.

-OK.

-Ready to play for real?

-As ready as I'll ever be.

OK, off we go.

You have 45 seconds to answer three questions correctly.

Please remember, I can only accept your first answer.

Your game starts now.

19.

19, you're saying... Absolutely correct. Second one.

-18.

-18, you're saying.

17, it was. Third one coming up.

20.

-Yes. Absolutely right, 20. Just in time.

-Just about.

-How do you feel after all that?

-A little less stressed.

So, let's see what Brain made of your contribution.

-I'm an evil villain, aren't I, Tom?

-Certainly are.

-Whoa-ha-ha!

You added nine seconds in that Zone, which means in total

West Mids' Finest have 21 seconds in their Brain Bank.

That is not bad at all!

APPLAUSE

-Well done, Tom.

-Ta.

-Nice to meet you.

-If you could rejoin your fellow team-mates.

-Thank you.

So, we're about halfway through the show now, so the two who

haven't played yet, Richard and Dan, how are you feeling?

All right. To be fair, it's probably not as easy once you're up there

and the pressure's on.

Still quietly confident that I can deliver when I get up there.

-They've not done badly, have they, Dan?

-No, not at all.

I'm getting worried about which Zone I'm going to get now.

They're quickly dwindling, so...we'll see.

Right, let's find out which Zone is next and who is going to take on.

Brain, the Zone, please.

It's Memory. So Tom, is that going to be Richard or Dan?

-I've got an awful memory, I have, so...

-I guess I'll take this one.

Take one for the team, then.

Richard, come and join me, please, in the Memory Zone.

APPLAUSE

-How are you?

-Good, thank you.

-Now, you're a response officer in the police force.

-Correct, I am, yes.

-That means you get to sound the siren and flash the red lights and things?

-Yeah, basically.

We're the front line, the tip of the sword,

if you like, when that 999 call comes in.

99 times out of 100, we're responding first to that incident.

Right. And as a footballer, are you any good?

Well, obviously open to debate, but I like to think I'm all right, yeah.

Well, I have heard that you've been on Match Of The Day.

Yes, nearly ten years ago now.

I scored a goal in the FA Cup for Leamington, which was quite a good

goal, albeit it in a 9-1 defeat in the first round of the FA Cup.

-A 9-1 defeat?

-Yeah, to Colchester, but...

-So you scored the only goal?

Yeah, I got a consolation goal, but it was a good goal and...

-And it got on Match Of The Day.

-Yeah, it got some praise.

-And it meant your team were not whitewashed.

-Absolutely. We took something from the day.

-You're not going to be whitewashed today.

-I hope not. We're doing OK.

-You've done all right so far.

-Yeah.

Let's see how you do in the Memory Zone. There's another 18 precious seconds on offer in this Zone,

that's three seconds for every correct answer.

-Are you ready to play?

-I'm ready to play.

Brain, can we have the first game, please?

-Hello, hello, hello, Richard.

-Hello, Brain.

You're a fair cop!

Thank you.

Let's get on with it, shall we? Here's the first game.

Richard, you will see four named pictures.

The pictures will disappear. One will come back. Tell us what its name is.

You can warm up with a trial run.

-Who was the telephone?

-I think the telephone was Hartnell.

Hartnell, you're saying. Is that right?

It was indeed!

You should be good in the Memory Zone.

-You need a pretty good memory in your job.

-You do, you do.

-So, let's see how you do, shall we?

-Let's go.

-Let's play for real.

Please remember, I can only accept your first answer.

Your game starts now.

-Sybil.

-Sybil, you're saying.

Is that right...? Yes. Correct. Next one.

-Who's that?

-That's Nero.

Nero.

Yes, well done. You do have a good memory.

I think that was Marge.

Marge, you're saying. Let's see if that's right.

No, it was Homer.

Never mind. That was a good start for you, Richard.

-Not too bad.

-Are you ready for the next game?

-I am ready.

Right. Off we go.

Here's your next game, Richard.

Identify the winning line in this game of noughts and crosses.

Here's a trial run.

A, B, C or D?

Oh...

I got it in my head that it was something completely different.

Um...

This is a guess now, but I'm going to go with B.

I'm pretty sure there was a zero in the middle.

-Well, you're right.

-Yeah.

-Well done.

-Do you play noughts and crosses?

-Now and again, yeah.

One of those things.

What I like to do when we play this game is to concentrate

-either on the noughts or the crosses.

-OK. That'll do me then.

It's good enough for you, it's good enough for me.

-One or the other. So, shall we play?

-Let's play.

-OK, Brain.

A game, please.

Please remember, Richard, I can only accept your first answer.

Your game starts now.

-Which one?

-That was D.

-D, you're saying.

Let's see if that's right. You were very confident.

Yes, you are. That's correct. Next one.

-And on this occasion, it was C.

-C. Very confident. Is that right?

-Yes, it is. My tip's working.

-It is.

-Next one.

-Based on your tip, I'm going with A.

-A, all my fault.

Yeah, well...

That's good! That was maximum, nine seconds in that round.

-A very good Zone for you, wasn't it?

-Yeah, OK.

So, Brain, what do you think about Richard?

Well, Richard, that performance may have just earned you some

extra cash in today's final. And I like your beard.

-Thank you.

-Richard, you added 15 seconds in that Zone.

This means in total,

West Mids' Finest have 36 seconds in their Brain Bank.

-That is good, yeah. Well done, Richard.

-Thank you.

-Nice to meet you.

-Thank you, and yourself.

-Rejoin the team.

-APPLAUSE

-So, Dan, you're the only player left now.

-I know.

I was hoping it wouldn't boil down to this.

Why don't you come and join me

and we'll find out which of the three Zones you'll be facing.

APPLAUSE

-Hi, John.

-How are you right now, then?

I'm all right. Bit nervous, but erm...

Cos I don't know what my last Zone's going to be.

No, because we've got three left. We've got Language, Orientation and Multitasking.

-Which one would you like?

-I'd like Language.

-Why's that?

My mum's a retired English teacher, so I was corrected a lot as a child.

-So I'm hoping I'd be all right at Language.

-Which one would you dread?

Multitasking.

Just not very good at multitasking, if I'm honest.

So I'll probably get that one!

-And you've been a police officer for how long?

-11 years now.

-Have you always played with the football team as well?

-Yeah.

I started playing football with the police team as soon as I joined, so over a decade ago.

Have you had any nasty accidents?

Yeah, I've got one which I sport the scar from. On my head here.

This was caused by running into one of my own players.

-One of your own players?

-Yeah. And we both ended up in A&E.

-So I'm glad I avoided that Zone.

-Yes. Well, I hope nothing disastrous is going to happen to you today.

-I hope not.

-Let's find out which of the Zones you're going to be playing.

It's Multitasking. What do you think of that?

Well, that's typical, isn't it? So...

I'll give it my best shot and see how we get on.

Brain, reveal the first game that Dan is going to be playing today.

-Hello, Detective Dan.

-Hello, Brain.

-Don't be nervous.

-How do you like your sausages?

-Grilled.

-Correct. See? You're good.

-There we go.

-Here's your first game.

Tell me how many people are left on the bus, not including the driver.

Have yourself a trial run.

-How many do you reckon? Not including the driver.

-I think two.

Two, you're saying. Is he right?

-You are indeed. Yeah. So, are you ready to play?

-Yeah, let's do it.

-Off we go.

-Please remember, I can only accept your first answer.

Your game starts now.

-How many on the bus?

-One.

One, you say.

Is that right?

Yes, it is indeed. So, the next one, please. The next bus.

I was trying to count on my fingers and I ran out, so um...

-I'm going to go with three.

-Three on the bus.

Let's see.

Yes, you were right. Well, you did well.

You're better than you thought at multitasking.

Proved the women wrong!

Here comes your last one.

How many left on that bus?

-I think there's four left.

-Four, you're thinking.

Let's see if that's right.

-And it is indeed! Well done!

-APPLAUSE

Yeah, a lot of people find that a really difficult game, but not you.

-You got nine seconds.

-Yeah, that was all right, I think.

-So, let's have game two, shall we?

-Yeah.

-Please, Brain?

-I didn't like that. I didn't like that at all, Dan.

-Sorry, Brain.

Here's your second game.

Dan, when the number of sheep matches the number I say,

add that number to the total.

Here's a trial run.

Three.

Three.

Four.

One.

Two.

Two.

Three.

One.

Two.

Four.

-I'm going to go with 12.

-12, you're saying.

Let's have a look and see. Yes, you're absolutely right.

You obviously understand the rules of this game,

-which can be quite complicated.

-Yeah.

Again, I'm hoping they don't get too quick cos that's

-when I'll struggle to keep up.

-Oh, you never know with the Brain!

I'm sure they well might.

-So be prepared for that. OK?

-Right.

-Ready to play?

-Yeah, let's do it.

Off we go.

Please remember, I can only accept your first answer.

Your game starts now.

Four. Three.

Four. One.

Three. Two.

Three. One.

Three. Two.

-What's the total?

-I think it's 12, John.

12, you reckon, Dan. Let's see if that's right.

Yes, it is. Well done. Next one.

Three. Three.

One. One.

One. Four.

Two. Two.

One. Three.

Is it eight, John?

Eight is your total. Let's see if that's correct.

-It is. You're on your way to maximum seconds.

-It's the biggie now.

In this Zone, so one more game.

Three. Two.

Four. Four.

One. Four.

Three. Two.

Two. Three.

Oh, I nearly lost it at the end. I'm going to go with 14, John.

14. Let's see if that's correct.

-And it is. Fantastic! Well done!

-APPLAUSE

That was a really, really good performance.

Yes, the Brain tried to beat and she didn't, did you, Brain?

Absolutely not. A clean sweep, Dan.

You added 18 seconds in that Zone.

West Mids' Finest have finished with a

grand total of 54 seconds in your Brain Bank.

-APPLAUSE

-Well, that should be very useful indeed. Good to see you, Dan.

Please rejoin the team.

Well, we've finished the individual Zones now

and it's time for to try to beat the Brain one last time

and take home some really serious cash in today's final.

Well, West Mids' Finest, you've racked up 54 seconds

in your Brain Bank and now you have the chance to turn time into money.

You need to answer eight questions correctly, that's two each,

within the 54 seconds to win today's jackpot of £3,000.

If you can't do that, fear not, because The Brain has given

you another two minutes to get the correct answers.

Once you hit two minutes though,

the money starts counting down at the rate of £25 a second.

So the longer you take, the less you win,

and when the time runs out, so does all the cash.

OK? Tom, as the captain,

you've chosen the order in which your team are going to play.

-What's your logic behind that?

-I've taken Daniel as the strongest,

as he answered all his questions correctly,

and we've gone working backwards, so Rich was the second strongest

and then me and Marcus tried our best.

LAUGHTER

Right. It's time to get serious. Let's start today's final.

Over to you, Brain.

You'll only face questions from the games you've already seen today,

but for every game in the final, I will only accept your first answer.

West Mids' Finest, beat me if you can.

Yes, that's the big challenge. Can you beat the Brain?

And as always, Dan, we'll start off with the player on the left, that's you.

Give me two correct answers before I can pass on to the next

player down the line and so on. Let's start the final.

Remember the image and name.

Compo.

Yes.

Three, 19, treble 7.

Subtract the score.

558.

No.

Two. One.

Four. Two.

One.

Five.

Yes. Richard, count the missing bricks.

12.

Yes.

Which line won the game?

D.

Yes. Marcus.

Paper, scissors, scissors.

Yes.

How many on the bus?

Four.

Yes. Tom. What's the difference?

30p.

Yes.

Double 19, four, five.

Subtract the score.

Pass.

Merry.

Stop the clock.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations - eight correct answers,

you've won £2,000.

Yes!

Well done, everybody.

A tremendous victory, West Mids'. Well done. Brain, it was a fair cop.

Absolutely. You caught me bang to rights.

What a fine bunch of gentlemen you are. Congratulations.

-Cheers, Brain.

-Well done, everybody. I hope you enjoyed playing the game.

And thank you, everybody at home, for watching today.

I hope you enjoyed it as well.

-For now though, it's goodbye from West Mids' Finest...

-Bye.

-Goodbye!

-Goodbye from the Brain...

-Goodbye.

And from me. See you again next time.

Before you go, let's see the answers to the questions

I set you at home at the start of the show.

Count the missing bricks.

The answer is...

And what about the second game? Memorise the names and image.

The answer is...

Whether you got these right or wrong, you can always

improve your intellect by watching us next time on Beat The Brain.