Episode 1 Celebrity Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Well, welcome to a special celebrity edition of Eggheads,

the show were a team of five quiz challengers

pit their wits against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

They've won some of

the country's toughest quiz shows. They are, of course, the Eggheads.

And trying to tackle our awesome quiz titans today

are Don't Touch That Dial.

It will be a battle between a fivesome featuring someone familiar

to millions for their love of strutting around in leather - but enough about Barry -

going head to head against the cream of quizzing from the hallowed corridors of BBC Radio Two.

Let's meet them.

I'm Paul Gambaccini.

I present America's Greatest Hits, Saturday evenings on Radio Two.

Hi, I'm Suzi Quatro. I do Wake Up Little Suzi, BBC Radio Two, Thursday nights.

Hello, I'm Richard Allinson and I'm on Radio Two every weekend.

Hi, I'm Clare Teal. I present Big Band Special on Monday nights

just after 10pm on BBC Radio Two.

Alex Lester, The Best Time Of The Day Show, Monday to Friday,

3am to 6am. You know you want to!

Welcome to you, Don't Touch That Dial.

Now, why did you decide to appear on Eggheads?

You must know about the show. Are you mad?

-We're completely mad, absolutely.

-We are completely mad.

Suzi watches it every night, preparing her dinner.

I do and I can't cook, that's the funniest part.

So she knows what we're up against, but the thing is, we could

conceivably win some money for Children In Need.

Exactly, that is the main thing.

Suzi, you say you're an Eggheads fan. You kind of set your watch by it.

I watch it every night, I even watch the repeats.

I love quiz shows and I particularly like this one.

OK, well, it's serious quizzing stuff. These guys aren't bad at it.

Sometimes they have their moments.

Let me introduce you though, while we're on this subject, to the new

Egghead there, may not be familiar to you yet. This is Pat.

He's won Are You An Egghead earlier in the year,

and now is appearing for the first time on an Eggheads edition.

How does it feel, Pat?

My heart has just slowed down. It's tremendous.

Now, every day there's one £1,000 worth of cash up for grabs for our challengers' chosen charity.

However, if they fail to defeat the Eggheads, the prize money will roll over to the next show.

So, Don't Touch That Dial, as this is the first of our celebrity specials,

it's £1,000 that says you can't beat the Eggheads.

Let's set about the business of trying to do that.

The first head-to-head is on Arts and Books.

This is something I think might suit many of you.

You're all well-read types.

But any one of you can play. Who will it be?

Really? They're looking at me.

All right, what the heck.

Yeah, OK. Well, stay with us, Paul, stay with us.

You can choose any Egghead you like, that's the advantage of being first.

It's your choice who you play.

We're trying to win money for Children In Need, so I'm going to

prod the Eggheads in their untested spot and go for Pat.

Sounds fun!

Prod the Eggheads in their untested spot. That sums him up.

OK, let's have Pat and Paul into the question room, please.

OK, Paul, you get to choose, you're the challenger, do you want to go first or second?

Using the penalty shootout mentality

that you never know you're behind if you go first, I'll go first.

OK, first question then, Paul, and good luck with it.

What term is used to refer

to an item of additional material at the end of the book?

Well, it's not alliteration, because that's a figure of speech.

But I think addendum is a more general phrase,

so I'll say addendum.

Addendum, the extra material at the end of the book, yeah.

-Right answer, well done, Paul.

-Yes!

-Good start.

Back of the net. And Pat, your first question.

In a Limerick, the last line normally rhymes with which two others?

I think it's a five line little poem.

There was a young lady from Bengal

She went to a fancy dress ball

She went just for fun, dressed up as a bun

And a dog ate her up in the hall.

-Not a great Limerick, but...

-No, it certainly...

It certainly is an example of one,

but then presumably should give you the answer.

Bengal, ball and hall. It's first and second.

OK, well, in a Limerick,

the last line rhymes normally with the first and second.

It is correct, the lady from Bengal as Pat illustrated for us.

OK, Paul, second question. In 1861, Francis Turner Palgrave compiled

and published the first edition of which famous poetry anthology?

I guess you've just seen the gesture I make

when I don't know what I'm doing,

this thing on both sides of my mouth.

I don't think Other Men's Flowers is a famous regular anthology,

so I will just have to go for The Oxford Book Of English Verse.

First edition in 1861 was of The Golden Treasury.

The Golden Treasury.

Let's see how Pat does with this second one.

It's a very, very broad category, as they all are, and we hop from poetry to fiction and here's your question.

Which fictional school features a group of boys known as The Famous Five?

I don't know anything about St Dominic's,

but Dotheboys Hall, I think, is in Nicholas Nickleby by Dickens,

and I think The Famous Five were generally complemented

by the Fat Owl Of The Remove, Billy Bunter,

and I think they went to Greyfriars School,

-so The Famous Five are from Greyfriars.

-With Billy Bunter.

It is the right answer, yes, Pat. I could see Paul knew that, didn't he?

OK, Paul, you've got to get this, then.

What name is given to porcelain

and other pottery ware that's undergone the first firing, but not been glazed?

What name is given to porcelain and other pottery ware that's undergone

the first firing, but not been glazed?

I'll eliminate pastry just because that seems wrong.

Pastry after all is thick and you're talking about something that's thin.

In which case, if you're talking about thin,

you're probably going to go for pancake.

I'll go for pancake.

-OK, pancake, the first firing but not been glazed is the...

-Biscuit.

-Biscuit firing.

-Oh!

-Oh, Paul!

You could be misled there because biscuit means twice cooked

and you're referring to something that's only been baked once.

Oh, so from the French bis,

Biscuit. I never knew that. Yes, I never worked that out.

Yes, CJ's sticking up for you, saying, yes, logically,

you could easily go for pancake, but it is the biscuit firing in pottery.

The round's over. Bad luck, Paul, you won't be playing in the final round.

You're there, Pat. Would you both come back and join your teams?

Don't Touch That Dial have lost one brain from the final rounds,

Eggheads haven't lost any.

We've got three more rounds before the final round

and this one is music.

Oh-ho! It is music and it's come up and...

-Everybody wants...

-Anyone apart from Paul can play. Everyone wants to.

-I was raised in it all, you know, from my dad's band.

-Go on, then.

-But saying that, OK, now I've put my...

-Yeah, I guess I'll do it.

-All right, Suzi.

Who would you like to play from the Eggheads?

It can't be Pat, so any of the other four.

All right, Daphne, you're on.

-Woman to woman!

-Here we go.

-Fantastic.

OK, let's have Suzi and Daphne into the question room, please.

OK, then. Suzi, do you want to make Daphne begin or do you want the first set of questions?

-No, let's just get it over with. Go for it.

-OK.

Here we are. The singing star Lorna Luft

is the half-sister of which other singer and actress?

It's a no-brainer. Liza Minnelli.

I'm a big fan of Liza Minnelli, actually.

OK. And it is Liza Minnelli. No messing around there.

One to you then, Suzi.

Daphne, your first question. In 1967 who had a UK number one single with

Release Me, which went on to be the biggest selling single of that year?

Well, there's not much I remember from the '60s,

because I had five babies during that time,

but I do think it's Engelbert Humperdinck.

-You think it's Engelbert, "Please release me, let me go," yeah?

-Yeah.

That's absolutely right. Good start for you, Daphne.

When you said that, that's the famous phrase -

I you remember the '60s, you weren't probably there.

I thought, "Not Daphne and all that psychedelic stuff!"

-It was the children?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Keeping your hands full.

OK, Suzi, second question.

Before The Parade Passes By is a song written for which musical of stage and film?

Well, I know West Side Story.

I know every single song in that, even the dialogue.

I'm pretty familiar with Cabaret.

I don't think it's either of those. I'm going to say Hello Dolly.

Hello Dolly, what do we think, Don't Touch That Dial?

-We think it's Hello Dolly.

-We think it's Hello Dolly.

It is the right answer, well done, Suzi.

Hooray!

Daphne, second question. Which member of The Beatles released

the solo albums All Things Must Pass, Somewhere In England and Cloud Nine?

I don't know.

-George Harrison?

-Is that your answer?

Yes, sorry.

-Don't be sorry.

-Yeah, they know it is the right answer.

OK, well, it's all square after Daphne landed that informed guess.

Suzi, third question, could win the round for you if you get it.

How should a musical piece with the instruction "con brio" be played?

Can you spell that for me?

Yeah, that's two words, C-O-N, con, and brio, B-R-I-O.

I think that's with vigour.

It's amazing when you go into the zone to answer the questions,

suddenly all the chat stops and it's just... The correct answer!

Well done, with vigour.

Can I just say, Dermot, I play classical piano.

I didn't get that I can feel my dad up there now,

all that money he wasted!

Yeah.

That grand piano in the sky would come crashing down on your head.

OK, Daphne, it means you've got to get this.

Let's see, who became the first person to hold the title of Master Of The King's Music in 1626?

That's more like it! Nicholas Lanier.

Master Of The King's Music in 1626 was Nicholas Lanier, it is correct.

So, Suzi, going really, really well there.

You've taken us to the sudden death phase of the round, which means

I can't offer you any more choices, so can you tell me this?

Raymond Burns is the real name of which singer and musician, a founder of the punk group The Damned?

Punk just passed me by. I wasn't a fan of it at all.

-The Damned.

-Yeah. I can't think of even somebody's name.

The Damned.

No, I can't even... I wasn't a fan.

I've no idea. I'll save you the time.

I don't even know any of their hits.

-Raymond Burns is Captain Sensible from The Damned.

-Oh, right. Oh, him.

-Captain Sensible.

-He's a weird guy, yeah, OK.

-Didn't he have hits on his own?

-Happy Talk.

-That was the one, yeah. From the musical. Back to...

-Yeah.

Back to Daphne. OK.

We are going back to you, Daphne, for another question and if you get this, you do go through.

The Polovetsian Dances, often performed as a stand-alone concert piece,

come from which opera by Alexander Borodin?

Prince Igor?

Is correct, yes. The Polovetsian Dances are in Prince Igor,

which means, Suzi, you're not going to be in the final round.

Bad luck. Daphne, you'll be there.

Would you both please come back and join your teams?

Don't Touch That Dial, you've lost those two brains from the final round.

We've got two more head-to-heads, so you can even it up in the final round,

and our next subject today is Politics

and Richard, Clare or Alex to play. Politics.

-Blimey.

-Blimey, says Alex!

What you looking at me for?

-Richard.

-How political is the Politics round?

-Pretty political.

-It's about politics.

-Yeah, but it's not office politics.

-You can do it, Richard.

-It's not office politics.

-Go on, Richard.

Yes, we believe in you.

-OK, pick one.

-Pick an Egghead.

So, Daphne and Pat have played.

-You go CJ. Go for CJ.

-Yeah.

-We think CJ.

-OK, so it's going to be Richard playing CJ,

the subject is Politics and the place to do it is the question room, please, guys.

Richard, would you like to go first or second?

I'll probably go against what Paul said earlier and go second.

Switching it around, see if CJ will slip up for you.

CJ, the Common Market was an informal term for which entity

that has since undergone numerous official name changes?

I hope this round goes on a while, because I do like this subject,

and in view of our illustrious opponent,

I just hope this will be a round with nowt taken out.

He loses points for that!

Richard is groaning because he's never heard that before.

I don't even remember the question, but I'm just going to say the EU.

Yeah, it is the EU.

That is correct. OK, Richard, and your question is this.

Which word came to prominence in the UK in 2009

to refer to MPs' habits of switching their second home

between different houses,

allowing them to maximise their expense allowances?

There were many, I seem to remember,

most of them unbroadcastable at this time of the day.

I'm not sure it was swallowing.

Blackballing refers to something entirely different.

I've got to go with flipping, I think.

-Yeah, flipping homes, that is the right answer.

-Phew!

Good start, Richard.

CJ, second question.

In 1993, Kim Campbell became the first female Prime Minister

of which country?

She was an absolute disaster.

I think she only lasted six months. Canada.

Canada is correct. Obviously, yes, that's North American,

that'll do for you, will it? OK, that is the right answer.

Well, Richard, and staying with North America

for you, the North American Free Trade Agreement,

commonly shortened to NAFTA, was an agreement signed in 1992

between the United States, Canada and which other country?

I can't think it's Russia.

What's Paul doing?

I'm not sure it's...

Is it Mexico or Cuba?

I think I'm going with Cuba.

Yeah, Cuba.

Do you want to know what Paul's doing?

-Yeah, go on, then.

-He's lying on the desk.

Given that the United States have had a long standing trade embargo

with Cuba, which still hasn't been lifted.

Curses! Can I... Can I go for Option B then, please?

-Well, B would be worse.

-Would it?

-No, it's... It's Mexico.

It's because they're all joined up by borders, it was quite simple.

Yeah. I was thinking it was too simple, so I was...

-Bother! Anyway.

-Yes, botheration!

Mexico make up the North American Free Trade Agreement

with the United States and Canada. So it means, CJ, you win the round

if you give me the correct answer here.

Prior to becoming MP for Great Grimsby in 1977,

which MP had career stints as a university lecturer,

a writer of a book about New Zealand

and the presenter of Yorkshire Television's Calendar program?

I'm not absolutely sure.

The Calendar one is more of a link to me.

Unfortunately I can't remember who the Grimsby MP is.

Not Vince Cable, I don't think. Oh, hold on.

Austin Mitchell changed his name by deed poll to Haddock,

didn't he, because of the fishing industry in Grimsby?

I think it was Grimsby.

-Yes, he changed his name, didn't he? Austin Mitchell.

-Austin Mitchell.

Well, that's an interesting fact.

He's Austin Haddock Mitchell?

Either Haddock or Mackerel. I think it was Haddock.

He changed his name by deed poll just to support,

make a stand for the fishing industry.

You got Austin Haddock Mitchell. It is the right answer.

Well done, CJ. You're through to the final round.

Richard, you won't be there.

Would you both please come back and join your teams?

You've lost three brains from the final round.

The Eggheads haven't lost any so our last chance to knock one of them out

and that chance has to be taken by Clare or Alex

on the subject of Film and Television.

Oh, now.

Who do you think out of the two of us would be better in the end?

I think Alex should stay here. Shall I do this one?

-Are you sure?

-I'll go Film and Television.

-Clare has admitted to watching television. OK.

-You do gardening.

-You could be on your own.

-So, you're going to play, Clare.

-Yes.

-Who would you like to play from the Eggheads?

There's two of them left and they are Chris and Barry.

Well... Up to you.

-I'll go Chris.

-Chris, OK. Yes, good choice.

He doesn't have a TV!

-He does, but it works by steam.

-Black and white, 405 lines, yeah.

OK, then let's have Clare and Chris into the question room, please.

Clare, do you want to go first or second?

I think I'll go first.

Well, here we go. Which actress was controversially passed over

for the role of Eliza Doolittle in the 1964 film My Fair Lady,

despite having played the role to great acclaim on the stage?

Well, I'm a big fan of this lady.

It's definitely Julie Andrews.

And, yes, it's Julie Andrews.

It is the right answer, Clare.

Good start. And, Chris.

Yes!

What was the occupation of Smashie and Nicey, characters played on TV

by Paul Whitehouse and Harry Enfield?

Well, it was all for charity, mate. Yeah, they were DJs.

DJs. And we've got to ask the DJs here, Smashie and Nicey,

-it's good to laugh at yourselves, every now and again.

-Yeah.

-Me? Us?

We hate them so much, yeah.

No Smashies and all Niceys there.

DJs is the right answer. Well done, Chris.

And back to you then, Clare.

Here you go.

Who played housewife Mildred Roper

in the TV series Man About The House and George And Mildred?

Well, I seem to remember being sent to bed when this was on.

I think Sally Thomsett would be too young then,

and Tessa Wyatt, so I think it's Yootha Joyce.

-It's Yootha Joyce is Mildred in them both.

-Hooray!

-Well, done.

And your second question, Chris.

"You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi"

is a quote attributed to which actor?

Well, that's a tough one, isn't it?

Yeah.

"You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi."

It sounds laid back like Robert Mitchum.

I don't think it was Bogart and it sure as hell wasn't John Wayne,

so, yeah, I'll say Robert Mitchum.

Robert Mitchum,

"You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi"

was a quote attributed, an observation attributed to Humph.

Humphrey Bogart. Well, now, at last, a chance...

A chance, so compose yourself, Clare, a chance to get through

to the final round and Alex is very tense as well.

-He wants someone to hold his hand.

-I'll be really lonely later!

-OK.

This guarantees you a place in the final round if you get it.

What are the policeman who terminate Runners

in the 1976 sci-fi film Logan's Run called?

Have you seen it, Clare? Can you remember it?

-I haven't seen it.

-Right.

-I haven't heard of it.

-Oh!

I... My gut reaction was Sandmen, so I think...

Yeah, I'll say Sandmen. I don't have a reason, but I think it's right.

Well, you say you haven't seen it, never heard of it, so it is a guess,

but, looking at the possibilities there, going for Sandmen

and I can tell you in this studio,

Clare, you're being willed over the line there by your teammates

-and they know you're in the final round!

-Yay!

-It's correct!

Sandmen. You've made it.

Great news for Don't Touch That Dial.

It means, Chris, you won't be there.

Would you both please come back and join your teams?

This is what we've been playing towards.

It's time for the final round, which is General Knowledge.

I'm afraid those of you who lost your head to heads

won't be allowed to take part.

So, Paul, Suzi and Richard from Don't Touch That Dial

and Chris from the Eggheads, would you leave the studio now, please?

So, Clare and Alex, you're playing to win Don't Touch That Dial £1,000,

or to win your chosen charity £1,000.

CJ, Daphne, Barry and Pat, you're playing for something

which money can't buy - the Eggheads' reputation.

I'll ask each team three questions in turn.

The questions are all general knowledge

and you are allowed to confer.

Don't Touch That Dial, the question is,

are your two brains better than the Eggheads' four?

And, Clare and Alex, would you like to go first or second?

It exudes confidence. We've decided

we're just going to go and go for it, that's what we're going to do.

You've decided to go first. Best of luck. Let's see if you can do it.

Come on, Alex. Yes!

First question for you.

The TV series Ashes To Ashes and Life On Mars

take their names from Top Ten hit singles by which singer?

-Well, Clare's favourite artist.

-One of them.

One of them, and I'm glad I know this as well,

independently of Clare I hasten to point out, David Bowie.

OK, David Bowie. Yeah.

David Bowie it is, so one to you, Don't Touch That Dial.

Well done, Clare and Alex there. OK, Eggheads,

in the military, what name was sometimes given

to a soldier assigned to an officer as a personal servant?

Well, he may have been expected to be a Superman,

and I don't know if he cleared out the spiders and been a Spiderman,

but he was CERTAINLY a batman.

..is the right answer. Yes, Eggheads, one to you.

OK, Clare and Alex, second question.

Where was the infamous World War I spy Mata Hari born?

Now, I...

I don't think...

-Nicaragua doesn't ring a bell.

-No. The Netherlands ring a bell...

The Netherlands rings a bell with me. I don't think it was Nigeria.

I think we both...

-Our gut reaction was the Netherlands, for both of us.

-OK.

So we're either both stupid or both brilliant.

-Well, let's go for brilliant, shall we?

-Yeah.

We'll go for the Netherlands.

OK, well, I can tell you, you are both brilliant.

-It's the right answer.

-Yay!

The point is on the board for Don't Touch That Dial.

They're two one up

and let's see how you do with your second question, Eggheads.

Italian industrialists the Agnelli family have been involved since 1923

with which Italian football club?

-They're the Fiat people in Turin.

-Fiat are based in Turin.

-That's where the Agnellis are.

-Juventus is almost the house team.

Yeah. I think it's Juventus.

Well, the Agnellis were owners of Fiat,

which is based in Turin,

and the football team based in Turin is Juventus,

-so the answer must be Juventus.

-OK, Juventus.

It is the right answer.

Well, done, Eggheads. Two to you and back to Alex and Clare.

Well, if you get this

you just might beat them.

It could be the question that decides it.

Let's see how you do. Inaugurated by US Senator Gaylord Nelson in 1970,

what is celebrated each year on 22 April?

How far do you think women's rights were along in America in 1970?

That was my... That's my...

-You think they weren't ready for it then?

-I think that...

That was the one that I thought could be it, but in truth I don't know.

-I don't know when Martin Luther King's birthday is.

-But I'd think...

Bearing in mind it may have taken a few years after his assassination

to get to the point people thought he ought to have a special day.

Was he assassinated in 1960? Would it have been a tenth anniversary thing?

Something like that, yeah.

I just wonder because Earth Day, I don't even know what...

That sounds like a more sort of late 70s eco thing going on.

I was going to say, "Is International Women's Day only in Britain?",

-but the clue's in the title!

-It's a bit of a clue, you're right there.

-Shall we go for Martin Luther King?

-I... Yeah, do that. Do that thing.

Well, we've mulled it over...

..and so we're going to have a wild stab

at Martin Luther King's birthday.

OK, Martin Luther King's birthday.

Inaugurated by Gaylord Nelson in 1970, celebrated on 22 April...

It's the last one on your list, it's Earth Day.

-Aw!

-Earth Day. You'd lost your North American contingent there,

hadn't you, in those head to heads?

I'm sure either Suzi or Paul or both would have known that.

So, it means the Eggheads have the opportunity to wrap it up,

but it goes on if they don't.

Eggheads, a statue of the Sylvester Stallone film character Rocky

stands outside the Museum Of Art in which American city?

A statue of the Sylvester Stallone film character Rocky

stands outside the Museum Of Art in which American city?

-It's got to be that, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Well, Rocky was set in Philadelphia,

so it wouldn't make sense for a statue of Rocky

to be based in any other city, so our answer is Philadelphia.

Is that where he runs up the steps and...

Is that outside the Museum of Art?

We're all going to do that one year.

Well, you can do it now, it is the right answer, Eggheads. You've won!

Yeah, a lot of North American questions there

and, as I said there...

-Where were they?

-Unfortunately, they lost those head to heads.

-The tactics failed early on, didn't they?

-The Tic Tacs definitely failed!

Thank you for playing.

We appreciate you taking the time out of your schedules

to have a laugh, try and beat the Eggheads

and raise that money for charity.

Not just Alex and Clare, thank you very much for that,

but to Richard, Suzi and Paul. We really do appreciate you joining us

here in the studio, don't we, Eggheads?

-Yes, we do.

-Absolutely.

But the Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them.

They still reign supreme over quiz land.

I'm afraid you haven't won the £1,000,

which means, of course, the money rolls over to our next show.

Eggheads, congratulations.

Who will beat you? Join us next time to see if a team of sporting legends

captained by John Inverdale have the brains to defeat the Eggheads.

£2,000 says they don't. Until then, goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

Email [email protected]