Episode 4 Celebrity Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together, they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to a special celebrity edition of Eggheads,

the show where a team of five quiz challengers pit their wits

against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

And you might recognise them as they've won some of the country's toughest quiz shows.

They are...the Eggheads!

Taking on the awesome might of our quiz Goliaths today,

are the Tunicates. This team is made up of some of the country's

most popular wildlife presenters. Used to handling slimy characters,

they should have no problem quizzing against CJ.

LAUGHTER

-Let's meet them.

-I'm Chris Packham.

I've always liked ladybirds, and I'm a natural history uber-geek.

My name's Bill Oddie.

I've been making wildlife programmes for about 20 years,

and I have an OBE for services to conservation.

Nevertheless, on my gravestone, it will doubtless say "Ex-Goodie".

My name's Philippa Forrester, and I've always loved wildlife,

which is good, because I'm a mother of three small boys.

I'm Nick Baker. I'm a naturalist with a particular penchant

for the animals people love to hate.

I'm Mark O'Shea. I catch snakes all over the world,

and I'm curator of reptiles at a UK safari park.

Welcome to the programme, Tunicates. Have you set a test for the Eggheads in your team name,

because I, for one, do not know what it means. Shall we test the Eggheads?

-Test them. This was our point.

-A tunicate?

-Sea cucumber?

-Is he in the right ballpark?

-Quite good.

-Sea squirt.

Sea squirt, appropriately enough. CJ again.

And what be a sea squirt when he or she is at home?

Soft-bodied animal. Incredibly simple. Looks quite primitive,

but in fact, relatively speaking, it's quite well developed.

And has the capacity to eviscerate itself when threatened.

So it discharges its own stomach. Not the contents, but its actual stomach, and then re-grows it later.

-Fantastic!

-As we all do, every Saturday night.

-Absolutely!

Now, you know you're taking on these quizzing experts, the Eggheads. I've been thinking about our categories.

Clearly, science, you should have that covered.

Geography - you're all well-travelled types from your careers.

What about film and television? You all appear on television.

TV's not so bad, presumably, but... Well, one would hope,

given our past experience, but film...

Let's see what comes up. We'll work it out as we go along.

Every day, there is £1,000 up for grabs for our challengers' chosen charity.

But if they fail to defeat the Eggheads, the money rolls over to the next show.

Tunicates, the Eggheads have won the last three games,

which means £4,000 says you can't beat them.

And our first head-to-head battle. It's going to be science!

Any one of you can play.

Science. Pick someone to challenge the Eggheads.

NICK: I'll do it if no-one else will.

It's the only one I stand a chance on.

-OK? Yeah. Reluctantly, it'll be me.

-Reluctantly, Nick. OK, choose any of the Eggheads you like.

-It's the opening round, so they're all available to play.

-Oh dear. Shall we go for Daphne?

She'll be gentle with me, I hope. HE LAUGHS

-Daphne.

-She's gentle with everyone. Did you know what a tunicate was?

-You were in the dark, weren't you?

-Yes.

Let's see how you do against her, Nick.

Nick and Daphne, into the question room.

Nick, let's play. You get to choose, because you're the challenger. Do you want to go first or second?

I'm going to go...second.

You face this one, Daphne. What type of creature is a chiffchaff?

A chiffchaff is a bird.

-Yes it is!

-Thank you, Nick!

-You're on the spot there, aren't you?

You've really got to get that one with Nick breathing down your neck.

OK, Nick...

I can't believe that!

Oh well, try this for size. What was the name of the synthetic plastic made from cellulose nitrate

for which the American inventor John Wesley Hyatt obtained a patent in 1869?

Um...cellophane.

OK, that's your answer.

Yep.

It's celluloid!

-Oh!

-Oh dear!

Let's see what the first set holds for you next, Daphne.

Pyracantha is the name of a genus of plants of what type?

Ah. I think it might be a shrub.

Shrub. Pyracantha. It is, yes, Daphne.

OK, well... You need to get this, Nick.

This one might suit you a bit better.

The Inland Taipan, or fierce snake - reputedly the world's most venomous snake -

is native to which country?

Australia.

Ah, that's what we want, yes.

Australia is correct.

Taipan.

-But because of that celluloid, cellulose, cellophane...

-I know.

..you face ejection if Daphne gets this.

The British scientist Harold Kroto - K-R-O-T-O - shared a Nobel prize in 1996 for his work in which field?

OK. No, I've never heard of him.

-I thought you knew all your Nobel prize winners, you Eggheads.

-No!

Um, I expect Kevin does.

Just trying to think. Kroto.

Um...

Physics.

Physics. Let's check Kevin out. Is it Physics?

It's medicine.

No, it's chemistry!

-Oh.

-So Kevin didn't.

-Nope.

Neither did you, though, which is better news for Nick.

Not physics, chemistry.

Chance to level it up, Nick, and we'll play on if you get this.

In maths, the Sieve of Eratosthenes is a method for finding what?

No idea! Maths is my worst subject in the world, ever.

So this is going to be a total stab in the dark.

I'm going to go for -

as one would when answering a question like this -

for probabilities.

OK, I see what you mean!

The Sieve of Eratosthenes is a method for finding...

prime numbers.

-Oh!

-I heard Daphne whispering it over there.

Prime numbers. Some comfort to you that she did know that,

although we don't pass questions over on Eggheads.

Nick, you won't be in the final. Daphne, you will there.

Come back and join your teams.

The Eggheads have taken a bite out of the Tunicates there.

They'll be missing one brain from the final round at least. The Eggheads are all still there.

But we've only played one round, so let's play another one.

This is film and television now.

The remaining four Tunicates can play this - can't be Nick.

Shall I do it? I've got the memory of a goldfish, I'm warning you.

-I'll do it.

-It's meant to be 19 seconds, so get a move on.

LAUGHTER

-I'll do it.

-All right, Philippa.

Who would you like to play from the Eggheads? It can't be Daphne.

Any of the two players either side of her. Barry, Chris, CJ or Kevin.

-What do you reckon?

-No idea!

Bill, stare into the dark hearts of their souls.

-Come on then.

-I think the bloke on this end.

-Kevin.

-Kevin?

-Yeah.

-All right then, let's play the round. Both go to the question room, please.

Philippa, you get to choose. Do you want the first set of questions or do you want Kevin to start?

I will take the first set.

Good luck, Philippa.

Here you go. Renton, Sick Boy and Spud

are characters in which British film of the 1990s?

Well...I am fairly famous in my neck of the woods

for my absolute disgust at violence on telly.

I hate it, can't bear it, and the one of those

that I have definitely not watched is Trainspotting,

um...for some of those reasons, so I'm going to say Trainspotting.

Trainspotting. Renton, Sick Boy and Spud, it's the right answer.

Good start.

Now, Kevin.

In the 1930s film Taxi, which actor utters the line,

"You dirty rat, I'm going to get rid of you just like you gave it to my brother"?

This is where we need Chris for the impressions, really.

But I'll go with...

The one there who's famous for saying "You dirty rat"

is James Cagney.

Jimmy Cagney. It's the right answer.

Chris, will you oblige?

-IMITATES JAMES CAGNEY:

-You dirty rat!

I'll give it to you like you give it to my brother.

That's more the Godfather.

It'll do. Sounds threatening. It's the right answer.

Back to you, Philippa. All square.

Chris Evans had an early job in radio working for which personality?

I want to say Timmy Mallett

because he's got that kind of craziness about him,

in his early years, particularly.

I'm not very aware of Timmy Mallett having done anything on the radio.

I'm just going to go with Tony Blackburn for no other reason

than he's very professional and I wonder where he's learned that from.

He could have got that from Terry or Tony. Or Timmy.

-Any one of them!

-All the Ts.

-I'm just guessing at Tony Blackburn.

-It was Timmy!

-What?!

-That's what you were thinking.

Timmy Mallett - he had the wackiness.

Right...

OK, that was the answer we were looking for. So, a chance for Kevin.

Kevin, which horror film actor turned up

on the Morecambe and Wise Show on several occasions,

requesting to be paid an overdue appearance fee?

Yes, it became a running gag -

they used to shove him out through the curtains. It's Peter Cushing.

OK, the right answer, yes.

Peter Cushing. So, you need to get this, Philippa.

Who played the title role in the 1934 Hollywood film Cleopatra,

directed by Cecil B DeMille?

Greta Garbo?

I'm simply guessing again.

It's not Greta Garbo, Philippa.

-It's Claudette Colbert.

-OK.

Cleopatra, in the film directed by Cecil B DeMille in 1934.

That means we close the round

because Kevin already has two and you can't match that.

You haven't matched that.

It means you won't be in the final round, Philippa.

Kevin, you will be. Come back and join your teams.

Well, as it stands, the Tunicates have lost two brains,

the Eggheads haven't lost any.

And our next category is history.

Who wants to play this? Chris, Bill or Mark remain.

-I'll do history. You do general knowledge at the end, yeah?

-What?!

-Yeah, general knowledge - you at the end.

-There might be something else I'd like to do.

LAUGHTER

What about history then?

-Such a united team(!)

-You promised!

OK, history. I'm history, literally.

Chris, OK. Who would you like to play from the Eggheads?

Kevin and Daphne have played,

so you've got a choice of CJ, Chris or Barry.

I'll go for CJ.

Right, let's have Chris and CJ into the question room, please.

Now, tell me about this history round.

You're a bit of an archaeologist as well, I believe.

I've always been interested in history.

It would be my father's specialist subject - military history -

so I was taken to every fort, castle, cathedral and museum as a child,

and forced to look into musty, dusty cabinets at old relics from the Crimea et al.

So it's something that I've always been interested in and I read quite a lot of history,

but quite specialist things.

Not with a natural history bent at all. I try to read off-topic,

-so, I don't know. It's a lottery, isn't it, Dermot?

-Indeed.

You only initially face three questions. Anything can come up,

but it's just that weird and wonderful knowledge that might catch the Eggheads out.

-Let's see how you do. Do you want the first set of questions or the second set?

-I'll go first.

Off you go. In which century did the battle of the Little Bighorn take place?

It was June 25th, 1876.

That's the 19th century.

19th century, yes. And I could give you a good run-down on that,

because I actually visited the site with my father.

It was one of his favourite last stands.

He loves the vainglorious defeat of armies.

I was very fortunate to go with him to the site

on the anniversary, a few years ago.

And we watched a lot of actors charging around pretending

to be Custer and Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull and Calhoun,

and I could go into great detail...

OK, well that's the right answer - the 19th century.

CJ, who was the last Stuart monarch of Great Britain?

That was Anne.

She died in 1714 when George I, the first Hanoverian king, took over.

It's the right answer. That will do. Anne, OK.

Second question each. Chris...

Marie Antoinette,

who became Queen Consort of King Louis XVI of France in 1774,

was born in which city?

I've got it in my head she was Austrian,

so I'm going to go for Vienna.

I'm 8 out of 10 certain.

Yeah, it's the right answer. Vienna.

So, CJ...

What was the maiden name of Wallace Simpson?

I'm not entirely sure, but the one that's ringing the bell is Warfield.

I should just know this, but I don't.

But Warfield is the only one that I recognise, so I'll go for that.

Warfield, it's the right answer, CJ. Well done.

All square as we go into the third question each.

Chris, which monarch had two mistresses -

one tall and thin and the other short and fat -

who became known as the Maypole and the Elephant?

It wasn't Richard III, I don't think.

I'm not sure about William, so I'll go for George I,

but I'm only 50% happy about that.

OK, 50%.

It's a one in three chance of you guessing,

so it's higher than that, and it's the right answer, well done.

So, CJ needs to get this.

Which Russian ruler was born in Moscow in 1672?

I'm just trying to think when the building on St Petersburg started.

I've got that in my head that it was about the 1720s, 1730s.

That would work correctly for Peter the Great.

I don't know, I'll try Peter the Great.

OK, Peter the Great. No degree of certainty whatsoever.

And it is the right answer. Peter the Great born in 1672 in Moscow.

So it's all square after three questions.

Now we go into sudden death.

The first one to get a question right

without the other matching it goes through,

but we take away the choices, Chris. I've just got to hear the answer from you, so it's a lot harder.

This is your question.

Which Italian republic sold the island of Corsica to France in the 1760s?

I don't know.

Um, I'm going to guess and say Naples.

OK, Naples.

It's not. Pretty close, but not Napoli.

-Try you first, CJ.

-No, sorry.

-Genoa.

-Genoa.

Genoa sold Corsica to France in the 1760s. Chance for CJ then.

Which famous archaeological site was first discovered in the 16th century by the architect Domenico Fontana,

but only had its identity confirmed in 1763

with the unearthing of an inscription?

Pompeii.

It's the correct answer, CJ.

It means you have just squeaked through into the final round.

Chris, giving us the last answer Naples,

wasn't so very far away from Pompeii.

Chris, you won't be in the final round. Please rejoin your teams.

Well, the Eggheads have knocked out three members of the Tunicates.

This is your last chance, Tunicates, to get rid of an Egghead.

The subject is food and drink.

Bill or Mark remain to play.

Food and drink.

I certainly don't know anything about it.

I don't know anything about it!

We need you for natural history, so I'll go and do it.

-Not natural history.

-General knowledge at the end.

I'll do that, yeah.

Stay with us, Mark, and select and Egghead and it's those two down the end. Barry or Chris.

-Well, I tell you what...

-Go for Chris.

-Go for Chris.

OK. Mark and Chris, into the question room, to play food and drink.

-Do you want to go first or second, Mark?

-I'll go first.

Best of luck, Mark. Your first question.

A popular Chinese dish is beef in a sauce made from and named after which type of seafood?

Well, I think it's oyster sauce.

It is, there you are. Good start.

Off the mark straight away. Chris...

After the surface of a roast gammon has been scored into a diamond pattern,

what spice is often stuck into it to give it a studded appearance?

You stick cloves into gammon.

Yes, you do. That's the right answer, Chris.

And so we go back to Mark for your second one.

In south Asian cuisine, what is the term

for a meal consisting of several dishes served together in individual bowls,

on a large metal plate?

Well, I haven't got a foggiest.

I haven't heard of any of them, you'll be unsurprised to learn.

So it really is a punt.

And I'm going to go for...

Lassan, I've no idea.

Lassan is incorrect, Mark.

It's not. Do you know, Chris?

-Yeah, it's a thali.

-Yes, that's what it is.

So, not your question. If you are to take the lead, you need to get this.

The reddish brown brown colour of sweet vermouth

is obtained by the addition of what?

Well, it wouldn't be caramel, because that would make it brown and yucky

and make it too sweet to drink.

I don't think it's liquorice, so it's got to be cranberries.

Sweet vermouth... It's caramel.

-Is it?

-Yeah, you didn't know that, so it stays all square.

OK, Mark.

You might get through if you get this. Tommy Atkins, Keitt and Kent

are varieties of which fruit?

Well, mangoes are very tropical,

so I can't imagine them being grown in Kent

unless they're under greenhouses.

Pineapples are tropical, growing out of the ground.

If you walk into one, you're in for a horrible surprise.

I don't know. I think that the nearest to Kent,

even though we're not probably citrus, would be oranges.

OK, orange. Tommy Atkins, Keitt and Kent -

very English names there, certainly Tommy Atkins and Kent -

-but they're mangoes.

-Are they?

-Mangoes.

So, a chance for Chris.

What is the name of the middle-eastern cheese made by straining yoghurt,

shaping the solid matter into balls and covering them with olive oil?

Well the only one of those I've heard of as a cheese is halloumi,

so I'll have to go with that.

No, it's not.

It's not. CJ was shaking his head. What do you think?

-I'd have gone for labne.

-That's the answer we were looking for.

Once again we go to sudden death.

Mark, can you tell me - in Japanese cuisine, what is arame,

A-R-A-M-E?

It's going to be a seafood of some kind, I would have thought,

but...

I suppose seafood is too broad a term to submit,

so...

It's not sea cucumbers, is it?

Sea cucumber!

It's not.

It's very close, though.

It's seaweed.

-Oh!

-Kelp.

-Type of thing used in soups and other dishes. That was very close.

-Not close enough.

No, unfortunately not.

But you're still in it. Let's see if Chris gets this.

E102 is the E-number for which yellow food colouring?

That's the one that makes kids hyperactive, isn't it - tartrazine.

It is the right answer, Chris. Tartrazine is correct.

Mark, you're not playing in the final.

Chris, you are.

Please come back and join your teams.

So, this is what we've been playing towards. It's time for the final round. General knowledge.

But those of you who lost your head-to-heads

won't be allowed to take part.

So, Chris, Philippa, Nick and Mark from the Tunicates,

would you leave the studio please?

Bill, the last time you and I spoke on television,

I was on a nice, warm Breakfast sofa and you were being weed on by a cow.

LAUGHTER

Yes, I remember referring to that as bovine...

Well, anyway, don't worry!

It was one of those fantastic moments - it's kept Anne Robinson in business for many, many years.

The really embarrassing thing about it is the circumstances were that we were on live,

I was doing a PTC, as they say - piece to camera - cow's bum here,

-and it suddenly started to do that all over me.

-It did.

Live, so you can't do anything about it.

The really galling thing is that the cow has been getting repeats ever since!

LAUGHTER

All right then, Bill, you've got to play the final round.

You're playing to win the Tunicates - your chosen charity - £4,000.

Kevin, CJ, Daphne, Chris and Barry, you're playing for something which money can't buy.

It is the Eggheads' reputation.

As usual, I'll ask each team three questions in turn.

All general knowledge now, and you are allowed to confer.

Bill, the question is, is your one brain better than the Eggheads' five?

-I don't think we need to go any further. It's been lovely being here.

-It has been done.

Would you like to go first or second?

Erm, I'll go first.

Best of luck, Bill. This is your first question.

In the classic version of the board game Cluedo,

what is the surname of the professor?

It has to be alliteration, I think. Plum.

Yes indeed. Professor Plum.

Doing it with a lead pipe in the conservatory or something like that.

It is the right answer.

Eggheads, "chapeau" is the French word for which item of clothing?

Un chapeau is a hat.

-Yes, it is.

-Can't we at least have it in five-part harmony?

If you're going to have five of them... One, two, three, "Oui, c'est le chapeau!"

See, that would liven it up!

Good idea, Bill.

Second question. In the media, which publication has used the advertising slogan, "It is. Are you?"

I like the idea of OK!.

"Yeah, it's OK."

Um... "Are you OK?" "Yeah, I'm fine."

Loaded, even better. I'd say it was the Independent.

It is, exactly. Good choices there. It's the Independent, yes.

"It is. Are you?"

And, Eggheads, London's Park Lane runs alongside which park?

Park Lane runs along Hyde Park.

Hyde Park is the right answer.

So, Bill... Two out of two, if you get this,

-you might beat the Eggheads.

-Don't be ridiculous!

Well it has happened several times.

This is your question.

The Tugrik is the currency of which country?

I'm going to spell it for you. T-U-G-R-I-K.

Um...

It's a guess, but it just feels as though it ought to be Mongolian.

OK, going for Mongolia. And it's the right answer.

Well done, Bill.

Well, you have three, and Eggheads...

-Hey!

-Pressure's on!

It really is. Columbus and Cassius Taylor,

born in 1994 and 1996 respectively,

are the grandchildren of which member of the royal family?

Lady Helen...

-Windsor...

-It's Lady Helen Taylor.

It's just a question of whose daughter she is.

It's not Princess Alexandra, because she's...

I think it's the Duke of Kent.

You mentioned somebody, was it Lady Helen Taylor?

-That's the kids' mother.

-Oh, that is the Duke of Kent's daughter.

-Yes.

Well, we've had an enthralling discussion

on the various progeny of the royal family,

but our conclusion is that it's the Duke of Kent's grandchildren.

The Duke of Kent. Columbus and Cassius Taylor,

grandchildren of the Duke of Kent, it is the right answer.

So, it's all square.

We therefore go to sudden death.

Co-written with left-wing journalist, Ignacio Ramonet,

My Life is the 2007 autobiography of which former head of state?

I haven't the faintest idea.

I'm sorry. I would be completely guessing. I have no idea.

-Do have a guess.

-No, it's just not an area I would know about.

-I think some of your team mates...

-Are they miming? I bet Chris is.

Do you know, Chris?

We've conferred, and we think that it's Castro.

Yeah. Fidel Castro, it is. Fidel Castro.

Perhaps a bit of a Spanish link there with Ignacio, and left-wing.

But not Bill's sphere of interest, but you might play on, Bill.

If they don't get this, the Eggheads.

Eggheads, which cast member of the 1960 film the Magnificent Seven

married the British actress Jill Ireland in 1968?

-Charles Bronson.

-Which cast member of the 1960 film the Magnificent Seven

married the British actress Jill Ireland in 1968?

That was the exceptionally fortunate Charles Bronson.

Charles Bronson is the right answer, Eggheads, you've won.

From Magnificent Seven to a magnificent five.

Thank you for playing the Eggheads today, Tunicates.

Not to be. It just goes to show the importance of those head-to-heads,

with some of you knowing Fidel Castro.

Bill, here, left on his own. You did really well, Bill.

Three out of three. Took the Eggheads into sudden death.

Congratulations to you and thank you once again for coming in today.

But the Eggheads have done what comes naturally.

They still reign supreme over quiz-land.

I'm afraid you haven't won the £4,000, which means the money rolls over to the next show.

Eggheads, congratulations. Who will beat you?

Join us next time to see if a new team of challengers have the brains to defeat the Eggheads.

£5,000 says they don't. Until then, goodbye.

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