Episode 9 Celebrity Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Hello, and welcome to a special celebrity edition of Eggheads,

the show where five quiz challengers

pit their wits against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

You might recognise them. They've won some of the country's toughest quiz shows.

They are the Eggheads.

And challenging our resident quiz goliaths today

are Ladies Blah Blah.

When a certain Egghead

heard they'd be doing a quiz with a Currie today,

they thought we'd arranged their perfect night out.

Sadly for Judith, she'll have to forego her nightly chicken vindaloo for the time being

and, along with the other Eggheads, get her teeth into a more challenging dish -

the prospect of quizzing against a team of highly regarded broadcasters

captained by someone who, it's fair to say, has somewhat of a love-hate relationship with eggs.

Say no more. Let's meet them.

Hello. I'm Edwina Currie, writer, broadcaster and former MP.

Hi. I'm Suzi Perry, TV broadcaster and journalist.

Hello. I'm Lesley Joseph, actress and broadcaster.

Hello. I'm Amanda Hamilton, nutritionist and broadcaster.

Hello. I'm Christine Hamilton. I'm a British battle-axe.

Do you know what you're letting yourself in for, Edwina? You've watched the show.

You start off asking me a question I don't know the answer to.

-Do you think you can match the Eggheads?

-No. That is the answer, I think.

You can guess a bit. You get three choices in the first three questions. Then it's down to you.

-Shall we play the game and find out if you can win the money?

-Let's get it over with.

Every day there's £1,000 cash up for grabs for our challengers' chosen charity.

If they fail to defeat the Eggheads, the money rolls over to the next show.

So, Ladies Blah Blah, the Eggheads have won the last eight games.

That means £9,000 says you can't beat the Eggheads.

Let's do the first head-to-head. A chance to knock an Egghead out.

It's going to be on the subject of... ho-ho...politics.

THEY EXCLAIM

Well, two of you here, I think, are potentially going to play this.

Christine or Edwina?

-Edwina?

-I will. I'll have a go.

OK. Who would you like to play, Edwina? Any one of those five.

I think Judith, please.

Let's play the round.

To make sure there's no conferring, take your positions in our question room.

Edwina, you choose because you're the challenger. Will you go first or second?

I'll go first, please.

Best of luck, Edwina. The first question is this.

Which party did John Gummer serve as an MP until 2010?

Well, I've known him since we were all students together,

and I hope he hasn't changed.

He's a Conservative.

Yes. Couldn't have been any easier for you.

Is the right answer. Nice easy start there for Edwina.

Let's see what Judith gets.

Which political figure appeared in a cameo role in the third series of the TV comedy Gavin And Stacey?

Well, Boris Johnson was in EastEnders.

I don't think he'd have done Gavin And Stacey as well.

Oh, I know! It might be John Prescott

because the egg in his face was in Wales, wasn't it?

I don't really know but... John Prescott.

John Prescott is the right answer.

Yes. Well done.

OK, it's all square. Edwina's second question.

What are the two official languages of the organisation NATO?

Well, it was set up immediately after the War

as a sort of great anti-Russian alliance

of America and much of Europe.

So English is definitely one of the languages,

and I think the other was French.

Yes, indeed. English and French.

Two out of two.

Judith. The phrase "fifth column" has its origins in which conflict?

I wouldn't have thought it was the Korean War.

Erm... Oh, goodness. I don't really know.

I think it might be the Spanish Civil War.

-The Spanish Civil War.

-Yes.

-For fifth column.

It's the right answer. Well done, Judith. It's two all.

An important question for you both. This could decide the round.

Edwina, which American politician

was forced to quit the 1988 presidential election campaign

when it was discovered that he had plagiarised passages from a speech by Neil Kinnock?

Oh, my goodness! Now...

Gary Hart had to quit because there was a sex scandal.

And Michael Dukakis had to quit

because he cried when his wife was criticised.

So I think it has to be Joe Biden.

Joe Biden?

Is the right answer. Yes.

Judith, which foreign secretary who was later to become prime minister

was sacked in December 1851 for sending congratulations to Louis Napoleon on his recent coup d'etat?

My instinct is Palmerston.

-Is the right answer. Palmerston.

-It was the right sort of date.

It's three all. That means, Edwina, we take it to a different phase.

We move to sudden death and remove the choices you both had and make it a lot harder.

We'll sort out a winner, hopefully. You're both going really well.

This is your question.

In the 17th century, Parliament presented a list of complaints,

known as the Grand Remonstrance,

to which king?

Well, there were two unpopular kings at the time.

One was Charles I and the other was James II.

I think I'll plump for James II.

It's not, Edwina. It's...

-Charles I?

-Charles I.

-EDWINA: It was the other one.

-The other one, yes.

Charles I had the Grand Remonstrance,

and the rest is, as they say, history.

OK, well, a chance for Judith.

By which acronym do the American Secret Service refer to the President of the United States?

I think that's POTUS. P-O-T-U-S.

President Of The United States of America.

POTUS is the right answer. P-O-T-U-S.

President Of The United States.

Bad luck, Edwina.

You won't be helping the Ladies Blah Blah play for that £9,000.

Would you both please come back and join your teams?

Well, Judith, it was a very good round but you squeezed through.

It means at least one member of Ladies Blah Blah will be missing from the final round.

The Eggheads haven't lost any brains. Our next subject, coming up right now, is sport.

I know you're all going to look at me.

-Well, it's no good looking at me.

-We have expectations, Suzi.

We have decided in advance. Come on, Suzi.

It has to be you.

We're rooting for you. Go for it, girl.

-OK.

-LAUGHTER

-OK, it's me.

-Now I'm sure your team-mates will let you choose who you play.

-It can't be Judith. She's played. So any of the other four.

-Do you want to go for CJ?

EDWINA: Go on, go for CJ.

-Yeah, we'll go with CJ.

-OK. Well, you know where to go with CJ.

-I'm not sure I do, actually!

-There's a lot of other places I'd like to send CJ,

but it's only the question room for you both, please. Suzi and CJ playing sport.

So, Suzi, would you like to go first or second?

I'll go first, please, Dermot.

And we are off. First question.

As well as being a skiing resort, l'Alpe d'Huez is best known

as often being part of the course of which sporting event?

Goodness me! I don't think it's the Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe.

I'm wishing I'd taken a bit more notice of the Tour de France.

That's the one I'm favouring at the moment.

Yes, I'll go Tour de France.

It's the right answer. Yes, one of the key mountain stages

of many Tours de France.

So, one on the board successfully there.

CJ, which English golfer finished second at the 2010 US Masters?

It would have been an especially good achievement

if it had been Tony Jacklin.

I'm not sure if Ian Poulter has ever finished runner-up in a major,

but Lee Westwood, I think it may have been

his third, fourth or even fifth time as a runner-up.

He was on nine under par but still seven shots behind the winner.

-So Lee Westwood.

-You say it would have been an achievement for Tony Jacklin.

He can't be much older than Tom Watson,

-who nearly won the Open two years back.

-Perfectly true.

But - no respect to Mr Jacklin - Tom was a better golfer.

Ooh! That's a debate to be had later.

Lee Westwood, though, is the right answer.

Second in the 2010 US Masters. So one each.

Suzi, which footballer won the Premier League's Golden Boot award in May 2010?

Erm... I don't think it was Didier Drogba,

but I don't know why I don't think it was.

Torres or Rooney.

-SHE SIGHS

-I'm going to guess Torres.

Fernando Torres. Premier League's Golden Boot. What do we think?

-I won't ask you, CJ. Other Eggheads?

-Wayne.

-Wayne Rooney, you think?

-DAPHNE:

-It's Drogba.

No, it's neither of those. it's Didier Drogba.

-Oh, it is?

-Yeah. Daphne down the end there.

Championship-winning season for Chelsea,

and Didier Drogba getting hatfuls of goals for them.

So, a chance for CJ to take the lead.

In the Olympic event of beach volleyball, how many sets does a team need to win?

I have absolutely no idea.

Erm...

-I'll try two.

-Two?

-Yeah.

CJ's right. Two is correct.

Two. You've got it. So you have the lead.

Big guess there by CJ.

-Suzi, head up now. Come on.

-SHE LAUGHS

If you get this, you're still in it.

In 1964, Muhammad Ali, then known as Cassius Clay,

defeated which boxer to win his first heavyweight world title?

I feel torn between George Foreman and Joe Frazier,

but I don't really know why.

So I'm not adding any insight into my thoughts, really.

And it's probably Sonny Liston,

if my last question was anything to go by.

George Foreman, Dermot.

George Foreman?

-It's Sonny Liston.

-Sorry.

Sonny Liston won boxing Muhammad Ali or Cassius Clay

at the beginning of his career,

and the other there at the end of his.

Great fights between Muhammad Ali and Foreman and Frazier,

but in the '70s.

In '64 it was Sonny Liston.

Suzi, I hate to say this but you're not playing in the final round.

And I hate to say this even more - CJ, you are.

Would you both please come back and join your teams?

Nil desperandum, Ladies Blah Blah. Only halfway through these.

You've lost two rounds. The Eggheads are all still there.

Our next subject today is arts and books.

Who'd like to play this?

-THEY CONFER

-You've been working down the team. So, Lesley, Amanda or Christine?

Christine is going to play on that one.

-Not because she has any confidence at all in her ability on either art or books.

-It's 'cause we don't!

Choose an Egghead. I'll remind you who you can play. It can either be Daphne, Kevin or Pat.

-Pat.

-Pat.

-OK, it's decreed I'm taking on Pat. Oh, gosh.

-Mastermind Champion of Champions Pat...

-Oh, for goodness' sake!

-SHE LAUGHS

-..against Christine. Arts and books.

-Into the question room, please.

-Oh...!

So, Christine, do you want to go first or second?

Well, all my predecessors have gone first and didn't quite make it, so I'm going to go second.

Pat, "It's a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done;

"it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known"

are the last words of which Charles Dickens novel?

I think they're spoken by the man who swapped places

with a chap who was headed for the guillotine.

So it was a noble act indeed. A Tale Of Two Cities.

A Tale Of Two Cities it is, yes.

Correct. I'm sure Christine would have got that.

Yes, we can tell there.

OK, well, you're getting the second set of questions.

This is the first one of those.

What is the title of the play by Michael Frayn

which features a play within a play, a farce entitled Nothing On?

Is the play itself...

I...

went to the first night of this.

It's Noises Off.

-HE CHUCKLES

-Yes, indeed. Noises Off.

Hugely successful, that. All square. Pat.

Who wrote the novel My Sister's Keeper,

which was turned into a 2009 film starring Cameron Diaz?

I don't think it's Zadie Smith.

I have a faint idea it might be Jodi Picoult.

OK. Other Eggheads? Daphne, a thumbs-up from you

and all the other Eggheads.

Jodi Picoult is correct.

Second question for Christine.

Jack Merridew, leader of the choir, is a character in which novel of the 1950s?

Well, I'm not 100 per cent certain.

I don't think it's Lord Of The Flies.

I think it's To Kill A Mockingbird.

Erm... Oh. Of course, it could be Lord Of The Flies.

Were they all in a choir before they land...? Now I am in a muddle.

I'm going for Lord Of The Flies. It's probably wrong.

I really don't know. I really can't remember.

-Pat, is it Lord Of The Flies?

-I think so. Jack, Ralph and Piggy.

Yeah, it's Lord Of The Flies.

SHE SIGHS WITH RELIEF

So, it's all square.

Pat, which Italian artist who died in the 1330s was also an entrepreneur

who made a fortune after cornering the market in pig bristles

and turning them into highly effective paint brushes?

Well, I don't think Raphael died in the '30s.

So I'm going to have to pick between Giotto and Donatello.

-I'll go for Giotto.

-OK.

Everyone's agreeing on the Eggheads team. It's right. Well done.

Christine, the pressure is back on, I'm afraid, and how.

Here you go. The artist and architect Cesar Manrique,

who died in 1992,

was a native and determined supporter of which island?

Oh, lawks alive, I have no idea.

I'm going to kick myself because I'm going to get it wrong

and then when it's explained to me that the clue was in the question.

Lanzarote.

-Lanzarote.

-Yeah.

-It's the right answer.

-HER TEAM CHEERS

I know it's been agonising, but you got three out of three.

It's sudden death now.

Pat, A Child's Christmas In Wales is a work by which 20th century writer?

My first thought is Dylan Thomas.

But I'll just check and see whether I've got any better ideas.

No, I think Dylan Thomas. There's a chance that's correct.

Dylan Thomas is the right answer. A Child's Christmas In Wales.

Just checked.

All right, Christine.

Can I have half a point? Because I knew that.

-If only.

-I adore Dylan Thomas.

Well, I hope you adore this writer.

Isaac Bickerstaff was a pseudonym

used by which writer born in 1667?

I'm sorry, girls. I simply...

I just... I've never, ever heard of him in my life.

I mean, you know, I don't know.

A pseudonym used by which writer born in 1667?

-Do you want to have a guess, Christine?

-Shakespeare? No.

It'll do. Honestly, get me out of here. I've no idea.

I can't even remember when Shakespeare was born.

It's not. And that's the answer I've had to take. It is... Eggheads?

-Jonathan Swift.

-Jonathan Swift, say the Eggheads. Christine, bad luck.

I'm sorry about the agony there. It's meant to be fun.

Why didn't you put the questions the other way round? I love Dylan Thomas.

It is the way they fall.

Christine, I'm afraid you won't be in the final round. Pat, you are.

Would you both please come back and join your teams?

Ladies Blah Blah, we don't want to turn this into LADY Blah Blah in the final round.

We've got to get one of you through in the next head-to-head. Three brains gone at this point.

All the Eggheads still intact. A last opportunity to kick one of them out.

And it comes on the category of food and drink.

-Oh!

-Lesley or Amanda?

-Amanda.

It's got to be whoever has general knowledge.

-This is getting worse and worse.

-Yes.

-You haven't done anything yet.

-I know!

-It's you, love.

-Who would you like to play from the Eggheads?

-I'll go with Kevin.

-It's Kevin or Daphne, the world quiz champions.

-Kevin. Bring it on!

-Yah!

That's what we like.

Amanda, could I ask you and Kevin to go to the question room?

-Would you like to go first or second, Amanda?

-I'm reading far too much into this.

I'm going, "What's my instinctive answer?" and it doesn't really matter.

I'll go first.

Here you go. What name is given to the characteristic scent of a wine?

That would be bouquet.

Yes, it would be. Straight in. One to you.

And Kevin.

In Britain, cask-conditioned beer that's served traditionally

without additional gas pressure is known by what name?

Filtered or lite would involve a chemical process, so real ale.

Real ale is the right answer. Well done.

Amanda, which Italian appetiser,

which usually consists of vegetables and a dip,

can be translated into English as "hot bath"?

Hmm. I speak Spanish, so I'm trying to vaguely read them and think...

which would make me think bagna cauda,

because "bano caliente" would be it in Spanish.

It must be bagna cauda...

she says, not confidently, but I'll go for that.

I like the way you drop your voice when you say it, just in case.

It's the right answer.

You were on it from the start with those language skills,

as well as the foodie ones, and you have two.

Kevin, Kelvedon Wonder is a variety of which garden vegetable?

I think it's one I have heard of. I think it's a pea.

A Kelvedon Wonder is a pea, yeah.

Two each. OK. Getting critical now.

If you get this, Amanda, it might get you into the final round.

Which type of alcoholic drink is traditionally drunk from a copita?

OK. Well, when it ends in "-ita", it means small.

Erm... that's in Spanish, anyway.

So...

I could be talking completely out of turn here,

but I'm going to go for tequila.

Tequila, for the copita.

It is...

-sherry.

-Oh, no!

Sorry, girls! Sorry!

Well, let's see what Kevin does.

What is the main ingredient of the Spanish stew called zarzuela?

Don't know. I don't get anything out of that at all.

Zarzuela is actually a form of Spanish theatre,

a kind of musical comedy, light opera,

and there's a zarzuela theatre in Madrid.

Because the Madrid area is in the centre,

and it's an area, I think, known for rabbits and that sort of thing,

I'm going to go for rabbit.

-OK, rabbit stew.

-I'm probably completely wrong.

-Zarzuela.

And what do you think, Eggheads?

-I'll be different and go for seafood.

-It is seafood.

Is it? So it's nothing to do with Madrid.

-Did you know that, Amanda?

-I didn't. I didn't.

You're very honest. Say yes!

-I should have. But no, I didn't.

-Put the frighteners on him.

OK. Both failing with your third questions

means we go into sudden death, Amanda.

And you saw what that meant for Christine.

Here you go.

The name of which Greek cheese means "slice"?

The name of which Greek cheese means "slice"?

Right. Well, let me think.

There's feta and there's halloumi, isn't there?

Slice.

I'm going to go for the one

that I cut up frequently into slices and cook,

halloumi.

-It's feta.

-Ah, no! LADIES BLAH BLAH GROAN

No!

That's almost twice.

You had choices the last time. You were going between sherry and tequila.

-We need some luck!

-You really are not getting it, actually. Oh, dear.

It's feta, from the way the cheese

is cut into blocks before being placed into barrels, where it ages in brine.

It means "slice" in Greek.

Well, see what Kevin does with his question. It's not over.

"Caquelon" is the name of the equipment traditionally used

to prepare and serve which communal dish?

Hmm. It sounds French, obviously, the caquelon.

I'm sure there's something obvious I'm missing here. Erm...

All right, OK.

Come up with a French-language communal dish where people dip in.

Let's try fondue.

-I take it you don't have a fondue set.

-No, I don't.

It is the right answer. Fondue is correct.

Well, well.

Amanda, I must say you have probably been,

in the many hundreds of shows of Eggheads,

one of our unluckiest players.

-It means you won't be in the final round.

-Sorry!

Amanda and Kevin, would you both please come back and join your teams?

This is what we've been playing towards.

It's time for the final round. As always, it's general knowledge.

But those of you who lost your head-to-heads

can't take part in this round.

Edwina, Suzi, Amanda and Christine, from Ladies Blah Blah, leave the studio, please.

Lesley, you're playing to win the Ladies Blah Blah £9,000 for your chosen charity.

Pat, Judith, Kevin, CJ and Daphne,

you're playing for something money can't buy - the Eggheads' reputation.

I'll ask each team three questions in turn. This time they're all general knowledge.

You are allowed to confer.

-You can have an inner dialogue, Lesley.

-Thank you very much for that advice.

Lesley, the question is: is your one brain better than the Eggheads' five?

You get to choose, as all the challengers do. First or second?

I couldn't take the stress of going second when they get it right, so I'll go first.

Yes! Bring it on!

Let's throw the first question at you.

Love Never Dies is a sequel to which Andrew Lloyd Webber musical?

OK. Starlight Express was a one-off.

Didn't have a sequel. That was all on roller skates.

Cats was the TS Eliot musical at the New Theatre.

It is one million per cent The Phantom Of The Opera.

One million per cent Phantom Of The Opera.

Or, as you hear Americans in London say, "Gonna see Phannom."

There's no T in Phannom, is there?

-It's the right answer. Phantom Of The Opera.

-At least I got one.

And I'm sure you'll get more.

Eggheads, first question to you.

What colour is the middle stripe of the national flag of Germany?

What colour is the middle stripe of the national flag of Germany?

THEY CONFER

Well, seeing as there's no green or white on the German flag,

-it's got to be red.

-Ah!

OK. I see you know your flags so well.

Well, red is correct.

A flag question for the Eggheads.

That's the kind of thing they know.

Your second question, Lesley. You started really well.

How's your French? What is the French term

used to denote an all-weather tennis court?

Oh, they're all so similar.

Sauve-qui-peut...

Something who can?

Comme-il-f...

I don't know. I'm going to go with en-tout-cas, but it might be wrong.

-In all cases. In all weathers. It's the right answer.

-Oh!

-Thank you!

-Well done.

OK. En-tout-cas, the correct answer.

Two out of two, Lesley. Not too bad.

Eggheads, in Greek mythology, who was the husband of Andromeda?

THEY CONFER

That would be Perseus.

He saved her from the sea monster.

All right. Perseus.

It's the right answer. Well done.

I bet you didn't fancy that question.

I wouldn't have known either of those second ones. I'd now be crying.

It's weird the way Eggheads... Flags and Greek mythology, they like all that stuff.

But you're going really well on the first set of questions.

Get this and you might win the money for the charity.

The Sigsbee Deep contains the deepest point of which body of water?

And it's known as "the Sigsbee Deep".

The Sigsbee Deep.

I can't look at the Eggheads 'cause I know they'll all know this.

I have absolutely no idea, so let me just think.

Gulf of Mexico. It could be the English Channel.

I'm going to say Indian Ocean. I have absolutely no idea.

The Sigsbee Deep contains

the deepest point of which body of water? Eggheads?

-I don't think it's the Indian.

-I'd go for the Gulf of Mexico.

-English Channel.

-I'd go for the English Channel.

Two for English Channel, one for Gulf of Mexico. They don't know.

-But it's the Channel.

-It's the Gulf of Mexico.

SHE GROANS

Not the Indian Ocean. But, Lesley, it's not over.

The Eggheads have to get theirs correct to end the game and win it.

The Drake equation,

formulated by the American astronomer Frank Drake in 1961,

is a speculative method of estimating the number of what in our galaxy?

Alien civilisations.

That would be alien civilisations.

Alien civilisations.

It is the right answer, Eggheads. You've won.

-Bad luck, Lesley.

-That was such a guess. I thought it wasn't the English Channel.

It could have been either of those, but there you are.

-You cruised through those first two.

-Well, just about.

-You did really well. Not just you.

It's awful pressure playing five on one, but those head-to-heads are awful as well.

We saw the agonies that your team-mates went through. So bad luck.

But thank you very much for sparing time in what I know are your incredibly busy schedules

to play the Eggheads and have a bit of fun for charity.

It's been a pleasure.

But the Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them and won.

I'm afraid you won't be going home with £9,000 for your chosen charity.

The money rolls over to the next show.

Eggheads, congratulations.

Who will beat you?

Join us next time to see if a new team of celebrity challengers

have the brains to defeat the Eggheads.

£10,000 says they don't.

Until then, goodbye.

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