Episode 7 Celebrity Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to a special celebrity edition of Eggheads,

the show where a team of five quiz challengers

pit their wits against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

They are the Eggheads.

And taking on our legendary quiz goliaths, today,

are the Gavel Gang.

Now, this team should be very familiar

to those of you who watch Antiques Road Trip.

The series where antiques experts travel around the country

looking for dusty, old relics that they can sell on for a profit.

I don't know about relics, but I've got five old masters over here,

who by the end of the show, we hope, are going, going gone.

Well, let's meet the Gavel Gang.

Hello, I'm Anita Manning and I'm an auctioneer.

Hello, I'm James Braxton

and I'm a director of a nationwide auction company.

Hello, I'm Thomas Plant and I'm an auctioneer and jewellery specialist.

Hello, I'm Mark Stacey, I used to be an auctioneer,

but now I'm a dealer.

Hello, I'm David Barby,

I'm a chartered surveyor, valuer and auctioneer.

And welcome to you, Gavel Gang.

Gavel Gang is rather appropriate with the auctioneering gag, there.

Going, going gone.

But I was thinking, I mean,

you lot must be perfectly equipped for this game.

You know the categories we've got here.

Anita, talk to me as team captain, there.

About how you've prepared for this.

I suspect, you know, endless discussions.

Endless discussions about our name.

I was quizzing my team in make-up

and I realised that they know absolutely nothing.

But I will keep them under control and they certainly do need it.

Particularly Mark Stacey, there. He's a wild boy.

OK, right, we'll keep him under control.

Let me tell you what happens.

Every day, there's £1,000 worth of cash

up for grabs for our challengers' chosen charity.

However, if they fail to defeat the Eggheads,

the prize money rolls over to the next show.

So, Gavel Gang, the Eggheads have won the last six games

and that means £7,000 today says you can't beat the Eggheads.

First head-to-head battle,

first attempt to knock an Egghead out is History.

Oh-ho-ho. Well, you know,

we cover an awful lot of ground in History,

but we've got different experts there. Who's it going to be?

-No, I'm useless.

-Useless at history.

-Kings.

-They're all useless at history, so I'll take it on.

-Look at that!

How decisive that was, you were listening to the discussion,

they might have come up with someone,

you thought, "Forget it. Let's get on with the game."

I could see them all shaking their heads and looking worried, Dermot.

Well, good on you, Anita.

And one of the advantages is you get to choose any Egghead you like.

Who do you think can might not enjoy History?

I may tell you now, actually, they all do.

I think, um, Barry.

Barry, yeah, why not?

Anita and Barry, into the Question Room, please.

Well, this is for charity, of course.

Best of luck to you. We're going to start now.

-Would you like to go first or second?

-Yes, let's, I'll go first.

OK, best of luck. Anita, off we go then.

A style of what was named in honour of the US civil war officer

Ambrose Burnside?

Civil War, not one of my strengths, I'm afraid.

I think I'm going to go for...

a Tie Knot.

Well, we'll let Chris answer.

-Sideburns.

-Yes.

Ambrose Burnside and hence sideburns.

OK, nothing there, let's see how Barry starts.

In 1940, the 7th British Armoured Division adopted

which animal as its badge?

Well, I believe they were known as the Desert Rats

and a desert rat is a Jerboa.

-We're talking Monty here, are we?

-We are, indeed.

Jerboa, the desert rat, identified there by Barry.

So, Anita, let's get this on the board.

Which monarch was the son of Queen Victoria's eldest child Vicky?

Well, I don't think it was Victor Emanuel of Italy.

I think I'll go with...

..Nicholas of Russia.

OK, Nicholas of Russia.

I must say, Anita, the faces of the rest of the Gavel Gang

aren't exactly lit up with joy.

I'm afraid we're not going to turn that one green.

It's Kaiser Bill, Wilhelm II of Germany.

Hence, I mean, Eggheads,

during the First World War there was

incredible attempts to distance the Royal Family from them.

Well, they changed their name from Wettin to Windsor.

Yeah, well, Wilhelm II, there, gives Barry a chance

to close it down early.

Well, we're not selling this lot

very expensively, if the gavel does come down on this.

But, you never know, if Barry gets it wrong, we continue.

Barry, the site of the Battle of Flodden is in which county?

I believe Flodden was in 1513

and it was one of the great disasters in Scottish history.

I believe it was in Northumberland.

Flodden in 1513, tell us a bit more about it, Barry.

The Scots invaded with quite a huge army

and the English, under the Earl of Surrey, had a much smaller army, but

they were much better organised and they absolutely massacred the Scots.

A famous Scots poem was written, called Flowers Of The Forest,

-to commemorate the event.

-Can't really fault you on that.

It's worthy of an antiques show, isn't it?

All the background, that's what you like, that's what we like to hear.

Maybe Anita doesn't. It's the right answer. Northumberland is correct.

Bad luck, Anita. It means you're not in the final round.

So much fun chatting to you, but you can come back and lead the team here

as you make decisions about who plays the next head-to-heads.

Would you both, please, come back and join your teams.

Well, honestly, Eggheads, is that a way

to treat your celebrity guests here, today? As it stands the Gavel Gang

have lost one brain from the final round, but lots of quizzing to come.

Let's see what our next head-to-head holds. Ah, it's Geography.

-Who wants to play?

-What about James?

-James, do you want to play?

Well, I'm least able, yes, I'll play. I'll do Geography.

I like the way they all just turn to you as if you're a master in it.

I've obviously had a privileged childhood

and have travelled everywhere.

Looking rather bemused at the way they selected you.

Well, choose an Egghead, anyone you like, apart from Barry.

I'll try Pat.

Why not? I mean, you're fairly well travelled.

-Within Europe.

-Within Europe.

-But not beyond Europe.

That's interesting. OK, well, let's see how it goes then.

Should be fascinating.

James and Pat, then, into the Question Room, please.

OK, well, let's play the round.

James, Geography. Your choice, as you know,

do you want to go first or second?

Um, I think I'll go second.

OK, tactical switch, putting the Egghead in first.

So, Pat, where is the airport with the International code HKG?

My first impressions are it sounds like Hong Kong.

I don't think it's Helsinki, I don't think it's Hanoi.

So, I'm going for Hong Kong.

HKG is, as you would expect, Hong Kong.

OK, well, James, gone for the second set

and this is your opening question.

In terms of area,

what is the smallest independent country in mainland South America?

Right, Chile runs down the spine.

I would say Chile's quite a big country.

Paraguay, I've heard a lot about. I'm going to go for the third item.

Suriname

-The third item. I like it.

-An auctioneer talking.

Exactly, you can't get away from it, can you?

The third country. Suriname is correct. Well done, very good start.

That was tricky.

And second question to you, Pat.

The city of Chattanooga in Tennessee is situated near

which mountain range?

Well, I think the Rockies are 1,000, 1,500 miles to the west.

It's in the right sort of spot to be in the lower reaches,

the southern reaches of the Appalachians, I think.

Stretching all the way from Maine down to Georgia.

So, I think I'll go for the Appalachians.

Appalachians is correct. OK, well.

Back to James.

Which German chancellor gave his name to a thin strip of land

jutting out from the northeast corner of Namibia?

Must have been a colony or something.

He was the great Chancellor Bismarck, wasn't he?

I'm going to go for the obvious one, for Bismarck.

Bismarck.

-You're sunk.

-Oh, no.

-Well, on that question, anyway.

No, it's not Bismarck, it is the Caprivi Strip.

And it wasn't, it was South West Africa, they called it?

German South West Africa, Namibia, yeah, till 1919.

OK, well.

Not sunk yet, but will be if Pat gets this.

Pat, the National Coal Mining Museum for England

is based near which town?

Wakefield and Sheffield are Yorkshire,

South Yorkshire, West Yorkshire.

Chesterfield is Derbyshire.

I'm really not sure.

I think I'll go for Wakefield, but I'm not at all sure.

Well, Pat, it's like you've run into James's house

and smashed up all his collectables, there.

It's the right answer, Pat.

Which means you are into the final round.

There we are.

Three, one, no point putting another one to you, James.

Would you both, please, come back and join your teams.

As it stands, the Gavel Gang are two brains down for the final round.

The Eggheads are all there. See if we can get one of them out.

On Arts & Books.

Our next category. Well, Thomas, Mark or David?

It has to be David.

-David, you did suggest that you wanted to go on that one.

-OK.

-Hoist by your own gavel.

-Absolutely.

David, choose an Egghead to play, remembering that Pat

and Barry have played.

So you can choose from Chris, Judith or Kevin.

-Kevin, please.

-Kevin.

David and Kevin, then, into the Question Room, please.

-David, would you like to go first or second?

-I think I'll go first.

All right, best of luck. First question, then.

In Alice's Adventures In Wonderland,

which character sits on top of a mushroom, smoking?

It's one of my favourite books as a child.

And I remember going to see a Walt Disney film

of Alice In Wonderland, although I haven't seen the most recent one.

And I do remember the Caterpillar being rather high on his hookah pipe.

I think it's the Caterpillar.

Caterpillar is right. Yes, well done.

And first question to Kevin.

Which novel by Charles Dickens

features a former prisoner in the Bastille?

Well, A Tale Of Two Cities,

which is set around the events of the French Revolution.

-So, A Tale Of Two Cities.

-Yes, it is, A Tale Of Two Cities is correct.

OK, so back to you, David.

Who wrote the novel The Little Stranger set in post-war England?

Dare I say, I have not heard of the novel

and I haven't heard of any of the authors.

This is an absolute guess. Let's go for Julie Myerson.

OK, a guess on Julie Myerson for The Little Stranger.

David, that's incorrect. Do you know, Kevin?

It's Sarah Waters. It's a sort of ghost story.

Sarah Waters. OK.

Well, let's see what you do with your second question.

Kevin. Tom Stoppard's play Rock 'N' Roll, which received its premiere

in 2006, is set mainly in Cambridge and which other city?

I have actually seen this one. So, there we are.

It's about the influence of rock music for the Pol...

Czech dissidents.

So, it's set in, largely, in Prague.

It is the right answer, Kevin.

Can't really disagree with that, having seen it.

And it means you need to get this, David.

Good luck.

Which British artist had the middle names Egerton Christmas?

Oh, dear.

John Piper is one of my favourite artists,

certainly, before the Second World War and afterwards and

I live fairly close to Coventry, where there is the most marvellous

window for the baptistery by John Piper. I don't think it's him.

Eric Gill, marvellous artist, wood carvings, wood engravings.

I don't think it's him.

Cecil Beaton, I know very little about,

apart from his wonderful offerings in cinema and photography.

Dare I go for Cecil Beaton? It follows on from Cecil, I think.

Dare I say Cecil Beaton?

-Kevin?

-I'm not sure, but I'd go for Eric Gill.

-No, it is John Piper.

The one you knew but, David, you didn't know his middle name?

-John Egerton Christmas Piper.

-Oh, dear, oh, dear. Is that a draw?

That's a good idea.

What a terribly good idea. We should alter the rules.

We'll let the referees talk about that.

But, for the time being, it's actually a win for Kevin.

Which means, David,

no place in the final round.

Wonderful as you would be to have there.

Would you both, please, come back and join your teams.

Well, and then there would two.

Three members of the Gavel Gang gone.

And Thomas and Mark remaining.

Let's keep you as a pair, shall we? Hopefully, in the next head-to-head.

All the Eggheads are still there.

This is our last head-to-head before the final round,

trying to keep Mark and Thomas together.

One of you has to play the Music round.

-Mark, you're Music.

-I'm not.

I think Mark says he's useless, so I'll have a stab.

-Thomas.

-I'll have a stab.

-OK.

Well, who would you like to play from the Eggheads?

-You have got Judith or Chris.

-I'll play Judith, if that's all right.

Judith?

Well it has to be, doesn't it?

Let's have Thomas and Judith into the Question Room, please.

Thomas, do you want to go first or second?

I would like to go first, if that's all right?

It's Music and best of luck, Thomas. Here comes your first question.

What name is given to musicals whose scores consist of

previously released pop songs, often by a single group or artist?

I don't know. I'm going to have a complete guess.

It's not something I'm really into, musicals. I'm going to say...

Jukebox Musicals.

It's the right answer. Well done. Jukebox Musicals.

-A guess.

-Good guess.

Judith, in 2010,

Kimberly Wyatt announced her departure from which group?

In 2010, Kimberly Wyatt announced her departure from which group?

I simply can't, it's always the Pussycat Dolls.

We've had so many questions with the Pussycat Dolls in the answer.

It cannot be the Pussycat Dolls again.

Oh, God. I have no idea.

I'm going to say Destiny's Child, with no conviction or knowledge.

-OK.

-Purely guesswork.

-It's the Pussycat Dolls.

-I do not believe it.

-I do not believe it.

-Of course it is, the Pussycat Dolls.

-It can't be.

Yes, it is.

Kimberly. How could she leave those Pussycat Dolls?

OK. Thomas.

Whose version of the song At Last

was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 1999?

Is it Nina Simone or is it Etta James?

I think it's Etta James, At Last.

Only because I was watching a version of another musical show

and this boy comes on and sings, "I'm going to sing At Last by Etta James."

So, I'm going to say Etta James.

If you remember that, then it's Etta James, isn't it?

-It's the right answer.

-Oh, yes!

Well, that gives you the two-nil-lead

and a place in the final round, if Judith doesn't get this.

Here you go.

"Nkosi Sikelel i'Afrika", is the first line

of the national anthem of which country?

Well, that I think I do know and it's South Africa.

It is, yes.

Identified that quite easily.

You're still in it, Judith.

But do exit if we get a correct answer, right here, from Thomas.

Which heavy metal musician was bass guitarist with Hawkwind

for a few years in the 1970s?

Well, Ozzy Osborne, I know sings

and I don't know if he plays the bass guitar.

I haven't heard of Lemmy.

Now, Bruce Dickinson, he's a fencer like myself and he fences sabre.

And I don't know if he plays the bass guitar

but, just because he's a fencer, I'm going to go with Bruce.

-So, Bruce Dickinson.

-Not Bruce Dickinson.

-Oh.

-Judith, you of course know again.

-Oh, it's Ozzy Osbourne.

Those thrashes round your place. Fantastic, aren't they?

-It's Lemmy.

-It's Lemmy.

-You could see I don't know.

-Motorhead, I think, isn't he?

-Yeah, Lenny from motorhead.

-Motorhead.

Judith, who wrote the music for the song Get Happy,

popularised by Judy Garland?

I can hear her singing it. I think it's Harold Arlen.

-Is that your answer?

-Yup.

-It's correct. It is Harold Arlen.

Get Happy.

You were so close to getting happy there, Thomas,

and making Mark very happy and the Gavel Gang.

But still all to play for and, for the first time in the game,

we go to Sudden Death.

-We make it a lot harder. Would you like that?

-No.

Unfortunately, you don't have a choice.

We take away the options after three questions each,

if it's all square. And can you tell me this?

Which long-running musical was first performed

to the public at the Palais des Sports in Paris in 1980?

Well, in Paris, I'm going to go for Les Mis-rables.

-It's the right answer!

-Is it?

-I don't care about the pronunciation.

Les Miserables. I call it Les Mis-rables

because my wife loves it and I hate it.

Yes, Les Mis,

whatever you want to call it. Judith.

Which much-recorded song begins,

"Round like a circle in a spiral, Like a wheel within a wheel"?

The something of my mind, the circles of my mind.

The Circles Of My Mind.

Luckily, they've tangled up. It's The Windmills...

-Windmills Of My Mind.

-..Of Your Mind.

Thomas! You're through!

Glided through there. I've never seen such an easy win.

Well done, Thomas, you're through to the final round.

Would you both, please, come back and join your teams.

And this is what we've been playing towards. Time for the final round.

Which, as always, is General Knowledge.

But I'm afraid, those of you who lost your head-to-heads,

won't be allowed to take part in this round.

So, Anita, James, and David from the Gavel Gang.

And, Judith, from the Eggheads.

Would you leave the studio, please.

So, then, Thomas and Mark,

you're playing to win the Gavel Gang £7,000.

Chris, Barry, Pat and Kevin,

you're playing for something which money can't buy.

The Egghead's reputation.

Now, as usual, I'll ask each team three questions in turn.

The same from the head-to-heads, but this time,

the questions are General Knowledge.

You are allowed to confer in the final round.

So, Thomas and Mark,

the question is are your two brains better than the Eggheads' four?

And, Thomas and Mark, do you want to go first or second?

Well, I'll make an executive decision that we're going to go first, Dermot.

General Knowledge. Here's your first question.

What name is given to someone who scavenges for usable debris

at the edge of a river or harbour?

-I think I know this one.

-OK.

Because I think that I saw a film once, an old film,

something to do with Queen Victoria and a young Victorian bride.

-Get on with it.

-And I think they're called a mudlark.

I was going to say mudlark.

-Because...

-Of course you would.

-I was going to say mudlark.

-Yes, of course.

-You say it.

Mudlark.

Yes, it's the right answer. Mudlarks.

I mean, they're licensed I know in London now, aren't they?

-Scavenge round the Thames.

-Yeah, Port of London Authority.

OK, well, a good start there for the Gavel Gang.

So, Eggheads, in which musical does the character Teen Angel appear?

-Definitely not Mamma Mia.

-No, I can't recall it in Grease.

-Not in Grease, either.

-I don't think so, it must be...

Well, it would fit...

Same reasoning. I haven't seen Jersey Boys.

We know it's not Mamma Mia or Grease,

so it's got to be Jersey Boys.

Yeah, it's got to be Jersey Boys, Dermot.

It's not, it's Grease. Teen Angel is in Grease.

-Is he?

-Well, Eggheads, what a great start(!)

-We knew that.

-Yes, I should have asked you. Right.

Concentrate, Grease is the word, victory is the word.

If you give me two more correct answers,

you have beaten the Eggheads. That is guaranteed.

So, let's start with step one, this one.

In Greek mythology, Daphne escaped the clutches of Apollo

by being changed into what type of plant?

-Well, I was hoping there was clue in the question.

-I was hoping.

-But a plant, yeah. An oak tree is a tree, isn't it?

-Yes.

-Laurel, they wear laurel.

-Are they bushes?

-Well, you associate....

Is laurel a tree? So, holly then?

My gut is laurel. Is your gut holly?

-No, my gut is going round in butterflies at the moment.

-Is it?

I'm happy to go for laurel if that's what you think it is.

I don't think it's anything to be honest, I don't know.

I mean, the answer's there, in front of us.

They're all looking as though they know over there.

Yeah, absolutely.

I'm going to blame you.

I'm going to decide laurel because if I go for holly

and it's wrong, you'll blame me.

-No, I won't.

-Are you sure?

-Yes, I'm sure.

-We'll go from laurel.

OK.

So, you were saying, "If I go for holly

"and it's wrong he'll blame me." So, laurel instead.

DERMOT LAUGHS

-I thought you were going to go for holly.

-I know.

It's too late,

It's lit up, there's no return because you got the right answer.

-Oh!

-Oh!

I knew it was Laurel.

Well, that's step one along the road to victory.

Eggheads, RIBA is the acronym for the organisation representing

which group of professionals?

RIBA is the acronym for the organisation representing

which group of professionals?

The Royal Institute of British Architects.

Being very careful there, to enunciate the architects

after that first question slip. It's the right answer, Eggheads.

But, time to cross your fingers, Eggheads.

And, Gavel Gang, for the money.

In which sport was Pierre Etchebaster an undefeated world

champion from 1928 to 1954, playing for the title on eight occasions?

Real tennis.

All these sports here, billiards, real tennis, fencing,

you can all play and fence,

you can fence for years.

You're a fencer. Does it sound like a fencer?

It does cos he's French-sounding.

-But that may be a trick.

-It might be a trick.

-I don't think it's billiards, do you?

-I haven't got a clue.

Billiards, Real Tennis, I know zero about the other two sports

apart from Real Tennis, I saw one of our colleagues playing it.

-Yeah, on the rooftop.

-On the rooftop.

-Could that be an omen?

-Ah.

-Are the French good at billiards and pool?

-I have no idea.

Are they good at Real Tennis? Real Tennis is a very British thing.

It's a very British thing.

But then, very British, Billiards sounds very British.

I mean, Pierre, he does sound French.

-So, we go for Fencing?

-Well...

I'm tempted to go for fencing, yes.

-But, then again...

-Well, you have good with laurel last time.

-Well, go on, Mark, I would go...

-Fencing?

-Yeah.

OK, Dermot,

after our consultation, we're going to have a stab at it, at Fencing.

Thank you for that. Stab at fencing, for £7,000.

-It's not.

-Oh!

-No, incorrect.

-Eggheads?

-Real Tennis.

-It is Real Tennis.

-You were so close to going for that.

-Nearly went for that.

Well, you talked your way through all of them,

but nil desperandum, the Eggheads need to get this.

If they don't, you've still won,

without answering another question. So, Eggheads.

What is the name of Norway's longest and deepest fjord?

-I always thought it was Sognefjord.

-That's what occurred to me.

Yes, I've been down the Sognefjord and I'm pretty sure it's...

Think we were asked this in a European quiz championship once

and it was Sognefjord.

Yeah, I think it's Sognefjord.

-Happy with that?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Yeah, it's the Sogneford.

Fjord, rather, Dermot.

Yeah, I know it which one you're talking about.

The Sognefjord, to stay in it.

Is the right answer, Eggheads.

Clinging on there.

Clawed their way back in.

We go to Sudden Death. No more choices. So...

In a 1946 essay,

what name did George Orwell give to his perfect pub?

I don't know.

-George Orwell.

-The George.

-Yeah.

-The George.

I mean, it sounds, I think, we really don't know.

But we're going from his name, so we're going to say The George.

OK, I see, The George, the name. We just wanted the name of a pub.

It's not The George. No, that's incorrect. Do you know, Eggheads?

-ALL: Moon Under Water.

-Moon Under Water.

OK, well, a turnaround here. Cos the Eggheads now,

for the first time, have a chance of winning the round.

It's been heavy pounding for them

after messing up their first question.

Mario Armando Lavandeira Junior became famous for his popular blog,

written under what name?

I think that Perez Hilton.

-Yeah, as in P-ERE-Z?

-Sounds about right.

-That does ring a bell, yes.

-P-E-R-E-Z, Perez Hilton.

-I'm sure he's a blogger, anyway.

-Yeah, we'll go with Perez Hilton, Dermot.

-Perez Hilton.

How have you done it? Eggheads, it's correct, you've won!

I think the Eggheads should have a whip round,

you could certainly auction some of the antique stuff

they're wearing, you might get two quid for it.

I'm not even sure of that.

It's been fantastic meeting you, Gavel Gang. Anita, James,

David, there in the Question Room,

thank you very much indeed for being so much fun and enjoying it so much

with us here today.

And, of course, that fantastic performance from

Thomas and Mark in the final round, just so nearly took the money.

But the Eggheads, they won't let it go.

The Eggheads have done, then, what comes naturally to them

and their winning streak continues, only just.

I'm afraid you won't be going home with the £7,000,

which means the money rolls over to the next show.

Eggheads, congratulations.

Who will beat you?

Do join us next time when we reunite the team from That's Life,

to see if they have the brains to defeat the Eggheads.

£8,000 says they don't. Until then, goodbye.

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