Episode 8 Celebrity Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads, arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is - can they be beaten?

Welcome to a special celebrity edition of Eggheads,

the show where a team of five quiz challengers pit their wits

against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain. They are the Eggheads.

And taking on the awesome Eggheads today

are The Ambridge Academicals.

I'd just like to state for the record

that I don't write the awful puns that often feature in these celebrity introductions.

Today I've said no to any bad jokes or terrible one-liners,

so this is a nice, straightforward welcome to a team from that well-loved radio drama, The Archers.

Let's hope they hit the quizzing bull's-eye.

For goodness sake! Let's meet them.

My name is Charles Collingwood. I've played Brian Aldridge for 37 years.

I have three "O" levels and an RSA in Typing.

Hi, my name is Charlotte Martin and I play Susan Carter. I've played her for about 30 years.

And I have a PhD in Psychology from the University of Birmingham.

Hello, my name's Andrew Wincott and I play Adam Macy.

I have played him for almost ten years now.

I have a degree from Oxford in English Language and Literature

and a PGCE in English and Humanities.

Hello, I'm Rachel Atkins and I play Vicky Tucker.

I've played her for the last three years and I've got a BA in Acting from Cardiff.

Hello, my name's Tim Bentinck. I play David Archer. I've been playing him for 30 years.

And I have a BA from the University of East Anglia in History of Art.

Welcome to you, Ambridge Academicals.

You've been trying to scare the Eggheads there, displaying all your qualifications.

-Charles, particularly terrified by those "O" levels.

-Yes.

-I don't want to show off, but three "O" levels over a lifetime is sensational.

-Especially in Woodwork.

In Woodwork, yes. I've got no way of showing my prowess today, but I will in every other respect.

Wait till you see the rest of my team. They are clever.

Tell me about Ambridge. Do you have a pub quiz in The Bull?

Yeah, we do, don't we?

My character rarely goes because he's too rich and doesn't bother with things like that,

-but I'm sure these people go. You go to The Bull all the time, don't you?

-Yes, definitely.

-The Bull's tremendous.

-OK, let's start playing and see how you do.

Every day there is £1,000 of cash up for grabs for our challengers' chosen charity.

If they fail to defeat the Eggheads, the prize money will roll over.

Ambridge Academicals, the Eggheads have won the last seven games,

which means £8,000 says you can't beat the Eggheads.

That's fired you up. Let's get on with our first head-to-head where you try and knock an Egghead out,

so they can't play in the final round,

and we start with Science.

-Who would like to play the Science round?

-Shall we get Tim up first?

-All right.

-Go on, Tim.

-I'm tallest.

-I think we'll let Tim play.

-Because you're tallest(!)

That's a good reason!

Tim, with your team-mates you choose an Egghead to play and try and knock them out.

I'm going to choose Judith simply because our families have history. It goes back to 1689.

Keppel took on Bentinck then

and a certain Arnold Joost van Keppel got rid of my ancestor Hans Willem Bentinck

for the favours of William III, so I think it's revenge time, Judith.

Oh, right, yes. That's quite true.

Fantastic. Ancient scores will be settled.

Let's have Tim and Judith into the question room, please.

So, Tim, just remind me of that ancestor of yours that was duffed up by one of Judith's.

Yes, my ancestor's name was Hans Willem Bentinck

and he came over with William of Orange for the Glorious Revolution of 1689. He was his closest adviser.

And then along came this good-looking young man called Arnold Joost van Keppel

who is Judith's ancestor

and he ousted him from the King's favour, so it's payback time.

-Was there a fight? What happened then?

-No, he just disappeared really from the court,

and brooded, I think, for the rest of his life.

Tell us... You volunteered for Science because you're tall. Would you like to go first or second?

Oh, I'll go second, I think.

You're starting, Judith, and this is your question then.

In mathematics, which term is used for a whole number, rather than a fraction?

I think that's an integer.

-You're correct, well done.

-Thank goodness for that!

-Good start.

OK, Tim, the term "coeliac" refers to which part of the human body?

Well, a coeliac can't eat bread or wheat,

so presumably, that isn't to do with the spine

and wouldn't affect the heart. It means you get a tummy upset.

I wish I'd gone first because I knew "integer". Abdomen.

You know that too. That's the right answer. Well done, Tim. Great stuff.

All right, Judith, what is the chemical symbol for the element "zinc"?

I absolutely loathe the Periodic Table.

It's my nemesis.

-I think it's "Zn".

-"Zn"...

-Please let it be "Zn".

-OK, and the answer is "Zn". It's correct.

-Thank God for that!

-I really didn't think it was.

-You have a lead.

But Tim has to face his second question which is this - what type of bird is a linnet?

Oh, heavens, I'm hopeless on birds.

A linnet is small, so it's probably not a hawk.

I think it's... I think it's a finch.

You just switched at the last minute there.

-I heard you forming the "th", but you've got the right answer.

-Yes!

We have a third question each now.

This is Judith's. The botanical term "calyx" is the collective name for which parts of a flower?

The calyx? Oh, God...

I'm always learning these things. I can't get them into my head.

I think it's the stigmas.

OK, the stigmas...

-Barry, you look upset!

-Oh, no, Barry!

-I'm afraid it's the wrong answer.

-He looks really upset.

It's like you've been listening to The Archers

-and somebody's turned your radio off.

-What is it?

-What is it, Barry?

-It's the sepal.

-It's the sepals.

-Oh, dear.

Right, Tim,

roughly how long did Neil Armstrong spend walking on the moon during the Apollo 11 mission in July 1969?

I think probably more than three.

I think probably 150 sounds...

6, 12... Two hours? No, 25.

-OK, 25 minutes?

-Yeah.

Is vengeance yours? No, it's not 25 minutes. It is the long one.

-150?

-Two and a half hours, yeah, 150 minutes.

That means, Tim, to explain to you, we go to Sudden Death and take away those options.

If you do need to guess, it's going to be harder because we've got nothing there to offer you.

Let's try it out with Judith. Maxwell Montes is the tallest mountain range on which planet?

Well, I don't know. Mars.

OK, Mars... Other Eggheads?

-Venus.

-Venus.

OK, nothing there.

Another chance. How many will you get, Tim?

In 2012, Liu Yang became the first female astronaut from which country?

Well, I don't think Japan has got a space programme.

Korea probably has, but it's more likely to be China.

-Is that your answer, Tim?

-Yes.

-China is correct!

-Yes!

OK, now the quizzing's over, let the fisticuffs start.

LAUGHTER

Well done, Tim. You're in the final round. No place for Judith.

Vengeance is yours. Would you both come back and join your teams?

A storming start for the Ambridge Academicals and Tim in particular.

It means the Eggheads are missing one brain from the final round.

We've only played one round, so we'll play another one quickly and this one is History.

Who'd like to play this? Not Tim.

-Anyone else. History.

-Give it a go. Go on.

-Do it for the Bentincks.

-All right, I'll give it a go.

-Andrew Wincott.

-Andrew, you stay there while you choose your Egghead, your Egghead of choice.

It can't be Judith, so any of the boys.

I don't know. Dave. Why not Dave? Yes.

Let's have Andrew and Dave into the question room, please.

You've got the choice. Do you want to go first or second?

For variety, I'll go first, Dermot, thanks.

It's History. First question to you.

On April the 30th of which year did Saigon fall to North Vietnamese troops?

The Vietnam War was being fought primarily through the '60s,

but it did not end, I would have thought, till the '70s,

so I'll say 1975.

OK, 1975 for the fall of Saigon...

Correct answer. Very good start, Andrew.

OK, Dave, Henry I, who was King of England in the early 12th century, was a member of which royal house?

The first is a Plantagenet.

Well, Dave, maybe dived in there.

-Norman.

-Norman.

-Norman.

-Sorry.

-The first Henry.

That's what you wanted, Andrew.

A slip-up there. Can you go two-nil up? Second question.

The site of the Battle of Marston Moor, fought in 1644, is within ten miles of which city?

Tricky one, um...

I don't know why,

but I think that that might have happened

more in the Midlands than in the north.

I probably am completely wrong. I will try Leicester.

And it is incorrect. I will ask Barry.

-It's just outside York.

-It's York, Andrew. York.

A chance for Dave to get in the game.

Dave, in the 1950s, the philosopher Bertrand Russell was a founder member of which organisation?

I hope that's the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament.

CND, yes, it is. You are back in it, so it's all square.

Third question each.

Robert FitzRoy, who headed up the forerunner of the Met Office,

is also remembered as the captain of which ship?

I wouldn't have thought it would be the HMS Victory or the Bounty,

so I will try HMS Beagle.

You know your ships. It's the right answer.

The Beagle, of course, Dave, carrying...?

-Charles Darwin.

-Yeah. OK.

And this is your question.

Whose first husband was Earl Winfield Spencer Junior, a pilot in the US Navy?

I'm going Wallis Simpson.

You're right to do so, yes.

Recovered well from that first question slip.

It takes us into Sudden Death again.

Andrew, the secret Treaty of London in April 1915 paved the way

for which country's entry into World War One the following month?

The United States of America.

No, it's not. Good guess, but not that. Anyone know? Dave?

-No, I wouldn't know.

-Other Eggheads?

-Italy.

Italy is the answer.

So, Dave, on which Caribbean island was the pioneering 19th century nurse Mary Seacole born?

I hope that's Jamaica or else I'm in big trouble. Jamaica.

It's right. You're not in trouble.

Jamaica is correct,

so you're in the final round.

Very bad luck, Andrew. Would you both come back and join your teams?

Both teams have lost one brain from the final round. And our next subject is Film & Television.

I wonder. Who wants to play this?

Who feels confident they can do Films and TV?

-Are you going to go, Rachel? Go on, give it a go.

-Go on, Rachel.

OK, OK, OK.

OK, yes, Rachel volunteering very willingly there(!)

-Indeed!

-Pick your Egghead then. Judith and Dave have played, so you can have Kevin, Pat or Barry.

-Um...Pat.

-OK, Pat.

It's Film & Television and our contestants are Rachel and Pat. Into the question room, please.

Rachel... Can I call you Vicky?

-AS VICKY: You can if you like.

-Lovely. It's just great to hear it.

I want to know more about the recording process.

Obviously, you rehearse. Do you have to learn any lines?

No, we have a read-through, then we read it through on mic and we're told where to move around, then we go.

OK, and what about Film and TV?

-Given you're on radio, do you watch much TV?

-None.

-OK.

-Yeah.

-Well, maybe you get out to see a film every now and again.

Let's put it to the test. Do you want to go first or second?

Um...I'll go first.

OK. And here it comes. Best of luck with it, Rachel.

In 2011, which comedian took part in panel shows for 24 hours non-stop in aid of Comic Relief?

Eddie Izzard jogged everywhere. He did lots of marathons.

I think it's John Bishop. I think.

-David Walliams did the non-stop panel shows.

-Oh!

-Not John Bishop.

-Sorry.

It's David Walliams.

Let's see how Pat does.

In the TV sitcom Grandma's House, which actress played Grandma?

I'm guessing here, I'm afraid.

I haven't watched the programme. I'll go with Rebecca Front.

OK, Rebecca Front.

-Rachel knows!

-It's Linda Bassett!

-Linda Bassett.

-I knew that one.

Well, that's good news for Rachel.

All square as we go to a second question each.

In 2011, Jamie Foreman joined the EastEnders cast as which character?

Right. Um...

I don't think he was a Mitchell.

I don't know who Andrew Cotton is. I've heard of Derek Branning.

-Derek Branning? It's right!

-Yes! Got one right!

It gives you a slim lead.

Pat faces his second question.

In which James Bond film does Yaphet Kotto play the villain, Dr Kananga?

This is, I think, early '70s.

All sorts of voodoo-related activities and alligators. It's Live and Let Die.

It is Live and Let Die. All right.

Staying very close to each other

in terms of scores.

Rachel, what are the first names of the Farrelly brothers, whose films include Dumb and Dumber?

I have never seen Dumb and Dumber.

-Farrelly brothers.

-Yes.

I'll go for Dougie and Alec, but I really...

-don't know.

-OK, Dougie and Alec Farrelly, you think. It's not.

I heard a sigh from some of the other Ambridge Academicals.

We think it's Bobby and Peter.

-It's Bobby and Peter.

-Sorry!

It means Pat has a chance

of winning the round here.

Who starred as the hostage negotiator Dominic King in the TV drama Kidnap and Ransom?

I can remember Trevor Eve playing a trade like that on TV.

Em, I'm not sure I can remember James Nesbitt or Robson Green.

So I think it's Trevor Eve.

How could you, Pat?! It's right.

Oh, no, Rachel. Bad luck.

You're not in the final round. Would you both, please, come back and rejoin your teams?

As it stands, the Ambridge Academicals have lost two brains, the Eggheads have lost one.

It could be all-square in that final round if they can knock out an Egghead on Arts and Books.

Charles or Charlotte?

Well, I have no hesitation

in announcing the Doctor here will play Arts and Books.

-And I pity the Egghead who takes her on.

-Are you in character, Charles, as a cad?

-If you like, yeah.

-Always!

-It's you then, Charlotte?

-It is. I'm afraid so.

-And who will you choose from the remaining Eggheads?

It's Barry or Kevin.

-Kevin, please.

-OK, let's have Charlotte and Kevin into the Question Room, please.

Charlotte, good to have you here. As Charles alluded to, you are actually a psychologist.

-I am, yes. A research psychologist.

-So when you're not playing Susan, do you practise?

Yeah. I work on research projects, mainly with people who have psychosis.

How does that work with The Archers? Can you fit around the schedule?

Yes. We only record the programme six days a month.

It obviously varies as to how many episodes you're in, so I have very understanding bosses,

who are Archers fans, so they allow me to have a bit of time out.

I'm sure that goes into the category of "not a lot of people knew that".

OK, do you want to go first or second in the Arts and Books round?

-A critical one.

-I would like to go first, please.

OK, good luck. First question. In watercolour painting,

what term is used to refer to a flat layer of very diluted colour laid across the paper?

OK. Well, I don't think it's gush. That would be quite an interesting technique,

but I don't think it is. Or splash. So I'm going to go with wash.

Yes, it's the right answer. Well done. And, Kevin,

the name Capodimonte is most closely associated with decorative art items made from which material?

From southern Italy, it's porcelain.

Porcelain is correct, Kevin.

Charlotte, second question.

Which association bestows the annual Frost Medal for distinguished lifetime achievement?

I don't know why, but I think I might go with the Poetry Society of America.

-It is the right answer. Well done!

-Good.

OK, Kevin,

which British artist appeared on Blue Peter in August, 2012, and showed how to make his famous works?

Needless to say, this passed me by completely.

I haven't got the faintest.

On the basis that he's the bigger name and the artworks he makes

take a bit of putting together, I'll have to go with Damien Hirst,

-but I'm a bit worried about that.

-It is the right answer, Kevin.

So it stays all-square.

Charlotte going really well. This question addresses the actor side of you and it is this:

Vincentio, the Duke of Vienna, is a major character in which Shakespeare play?

It's not The Tempest.

Winter's Tale...

Measure For Measure...

I'll go for Measure For Measure.

OK. I'm just looking at your colleagues here, their little faces.

And they're all lit up because it's the right answer! Measure For Measure.

OK, Kevin's got some work to do.

Kevin, whose gravestone in Drumcliffe in County Sligo in Ireland

is marked by the words, "Cast a cold eye on life, on death, horseman, pass by!"?

No point beating about the bush. I've stood and looked at it. WB Yeats.

It is the right answer. WB Yeats.

And again we go to sudden death.

Let's get straight on with it.

No choices to look at. Who wrote the 2010 thriller The Cobra,

which sees the American President task a retired CIA official with destroying the global cocaine trade?

Oh, gosh, it's not my kind of literature, unfortunately.

A stab in the dark.

-Dick Francis, who writes about horses, doesn't he?

-Thrillers.

I think his son has taken up the reins, so to speak.

It is not. Can anyone tell me? It's Freddie Forsyth! Frederick Forsyth.

OK.

Kevin, which metaphysical poet, who started as a Roman Catholic, became an Anglican priest

and was made Dean of St Paul's in 1621?

-John Donne.

-The dates normally do for you with Kevin.

1621, John Donne is the correct answer, Kevin.

That sees you through,

but really well played, Charlotte. But no place in the final round.

Both, please, come back and join your teams.

This is what we've been playing towards - the final round on general knowledge.

But those of you who lost

won't be allowed to take part so Charlotte, Andrew and Rachel from the Ambridge Academicals

and Judith from the Eggheads, would you leave the studio, please?

Charles and Tim, you're playing to win £8,000.

Barry, Pat, Kevin and Dave, you're playing for something money can't buy - the Eggheads' reputation.

I ask you three questions in turn,

but the questions are general knowledge and you can confer, which makes Tim's victory very important.

I'll say!

So, Ambridge Academicals, are your two brains better than the Eggheads' four?

-Charles and Tim, do you want to go first or second?

-We'll go first.

Best of luck. First question:

what did the town of Staines add to its name in 2012?

I'm absolutely certain I know this.

We are actually very clever.

And we're major farmers, you know.

We're top farmers, we are.

-It's Upon-Thames. They wanted to gentrify themselves.

-Definitely.

-So that's your answer.

-It is.

-After the lecture.

If you're American, it almost rhymes.

Upon-Thames is the right answer.

All right. Eggheads,

wonga is a slang term for what?

Wonga is a slang term for what?

-I think that's money.

-Money, yeah.

We're pretty certain on this. Money.

That's right.

Second question, Academicals.

The Frenchman Teddy Tamgho came to fame as a leading name in which athletics event?

-Tamgho.

-Do you have a date?

-No.

The Frenchman Teddy Tamgho came to fame as a leading name in which athletics event?

They're good at triple jump. Not at 400m hurdles or discus, traditionally.

I would have thought a Frenchman with a big frisbee...

-And they jump a lot, the French. They leap from one place to another.

-They leap.

I am the captain and I say the answer is triple jump.

It is! Triple jump is the right answer!

-All right.

-Game on.

It really is game on. Eggheads, which member of the cast of Gavin and Stacey played Judy

in the 2003 film Love, Actually?

Joanna Page was in Love, Actually, wasn't she?

-I've seen her in it.

-I've not seen the film.

-I'm certain it's her.

I saw the film, but can't remember.

We believe it's Joanna Page.

-Joanna Page. Have you seen it?

-I have.

-It is the right answer.

Two all. Back to these two.

Excuse me?!

-We're Charles and Timothy!

-The Ambridge Academicals.

We have names, you know, Dermot. "Back to these two"(!)

Here you go.

Can you tell me this? The Sancta Camisa, said to be the veil of the Virgin Mary,

is kept in which European cathedral?

-It is unlikely to be in a German cathedral.

-Correct.

It's less likely to be in Chartres.

It's more likely to be in Florence.

-I've worked in Florence...

-Yeah, go. Florence, probably.

I think we have agreed that we think it's Florence.

But it could be either of the other two.

-However, we've agreed.

-We're covering ourselves.

-You have to choose one.

-Florence.

-OK, Florence.

It's Chartres.

So, Eggheads, a chance to win it.

The USA's historic triangle of colonial communities consists of Jamestown, Yorktown and which other?

-Williamsburg.

-Yeah.

They're altogether in the great state of Virginia. It's Williamsburg.

Williamsburg is the right answer, Eggheads. You've won!

Well, what a great day's quizzing that has been.

It's been absolutely fantastic. Some great head to head battles.

That final round, just listening to you two - Charles and Timothy - was so much fun,

but the main thing has been hearing all about The Archers. We feel so privileged to have you here

to tell us about what goes on behind the scenes. Thank you very much.

We very much appreciate it. And to Charlotte, Andrew and Rachel, sitting in the Question Room.

The Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them.

You haven't won the £8,000, so the money rolls over.

Eggheads, congratulations. Who will beat you?

Join us next time for a team of Paralympians from London 2012 trying to defeat our Eggheads.

£9,000 says they don't. Until then, goodbye.

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