Episode 5 Celebrity Eggheads

'These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.'

'Together, they make up the Eggheads, arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country'

'Question is - can they be beaten?'

Welcome to a special celebrity edition of Eggheads -

the show where five quiz challengers pit their wits

against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

They are the Eggheads.

And tackling our awesome quiz geniuses today are Tap and Chat.

It's often said, at a team sport, it's good to have strength and depth

and that rule applies to doing well on Eggheads as well.

I'm therefore going to stick my neck out and say that this team, who are all experts in their fields,

stand a pretty good chance of winning today,

especially as Sudden Death in the final round

will take the form of a dance-off between Lionel and Barry.

Let's meet the team.

Hello. My name's Lionel Blair. I'm best known for Give Us A Clue and Name That Tune.

And I'm the youngest person on the panel!

Hi. I'm Christine Walkden, resident gardener on The One Show,

and I just love weeds!

I'm Mary-Ann Ochota, anthropologist and presenter,

probably best known for Time Team and a series about feral children.

I'm Clarissa Dickson-Wright. I'm a cook and a Fat Lady,

best known for that programme and for Clarissa And The Countrymen.

I'm Joe Inglis, I'm a vet from Vets In Practice and Blue Peter,

and also the resident vet on The One Show.

Let me formally welcome you, Tap and Chat. Thank you for coming to challenge the Eggheads.

I was thinking it through, and we have a lot of celebrity teams,

-but they come from one chosen discipline and have an expertise...

-This is all different.

That's the whole point. You have all the talents, all our categories -

entertainment, film and TV, food and drink, science, history...

That's just me.

Sport and geography, though? Well, geography - you're well-travelled.

-Geography's all right.

-Sport, hm.

-That's going to be a challenge.

See, I don't know what is going to come up. Shall we quiz and chat?

Every day, there's £1,000 cash up for grabs for our challengers' chosen charity.

If they fail to defeat the Eggheads, this rolls over to the next show.

So, the Eggheads have won the last four games,

which means £5,000 says you can't beat the Eggheads today.

We'll start with the opening round and it's Arts and Books.

-I'll take one for the team.

-Will you?

-I will.

-Good girl.

Mary-Ann, you have the pleasure of choosing any of those Eggheads -

they're all untested so far today.

I'm going to go,... Because this is my first time, I'll go with the new boy, Dave.

OK, all right. Let's have Mary-Ann and Dave.

Into the Question Room to contest this opening round. It's Arts and Books.

So, Mary-Ann, you are a positive Renaissance woman.

Archaeology, anthropology, scuba-diving, blogging, sailing, TV presenting,...

-Have I left anything out?

-I... I quite like dogs and horses.

We'll add that to the list. Tell me about the blog. What d'you write about?

It depends. Normally, anthropology of the everyday.

So, it offers a way of looking at something that you take for granted, but in a new way.

And challenging some preconceptions we have about how we live our lives.

How often do you do it? On a daily basis, weekly, or just as and when, as you're moved?

When I'm blogging for The Independent, it's generally when a piece of inspiration hits me.

On the sailing race across the Pacific, I made myself blog twice a week,

because when you're doing four hours on, four hours off,

if you wait for inspiration, you'll be in California before you've written a word.

I wanted to ask you about that. That was quite a challenge. How far was it altogether?

We sailed 6,400 miles,

through the north Pacific,

so, unfortunately, no sun and sunshine -

it was force 10 all the way.

And, er, rough.

We've a little challenge - nothing compared to that, physically,

mentally, yes. Arts and Books. Will you go first or second?

I'm going to go... second.

Thinking through the tactics, Mary-Ann, hoping Dave will slip up early on and give you an opening.

Dave, what name is given to a drawing of a person

in which the features are exaggerated and distorted?

That's a caricature.

No messing around. You won't slip on that one. It's the right answer.

-You never know, Dermot.

-OK, Mary-Ann.

When Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows was published,

it brought the number of books in the Harry Potter series to how many?

I know that there are seven books in the whole series,

so it can't be 10,

but I don't know whether The Deathly Hallows was the fifth one or the last one.

Um, it sounds quite final, doesn't it? Deathly Hallows.

I'm going to go with seven.

Well worked out, yes. Remembering the titles. Yes, seven.

The last. Fantastic.

OK, Dave, second question.

"I returned from the city about three o'clock

"on that May afternoon, pretty well disgusted with life" -

is the first line of which spy novel?

I don't know.

I'm going to rule out The Riddle Of The Sands.

Thirty-Nine Steps or Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

I'll go Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

OK, um,...

Eggheads have not looked over enthusiastically at that answer.

It's John Buchan's Thirty-Nine Steps.

-It is The Thirty-Nine Steps.

-Fair enough.

-Well!

-Mary-Ann, this is what you wanted to happen.

-Yes!

To capitalise on it, you need to get your second question correct and grab the lead.

Who wrote the 2011 Costa Book of the Year, Pure,

set in pre-Revolutionary France?

Is it...

I'm afraid I've got no idea either. Sorry, Andrew, David and Christopher

Um,... I'm going to absolutely go for a stab in the dark

and I'm going to choose the one on the right - Christopher Brookmyre.

And Christopher Brookmyre with Pure - it's not. Incorrect.

Dave, any knowledge there? You've two to choose from.

I'd go for David Almond, but with no conviction.

There is no conviction. It's Andrew Miller!

-Doing well today(!)

-It wasn't your question, luckily.

But let's see how you do with this one, your third question.

Howard Pinter's play, Betrayal, is a fictional account of his relationship with whom?

I hope he hasn't had relationships with Esther Rantzen or Sue McGregor,

or it could be a very difficult question.

I do seem to remember Joan Bakewell having a dalliance with Harold Pinter,

so that's my answer - Joan Bakewell.

And it is correct, you've got it,

so different situation facing this question, Mary-Ann.

Last time was to take the lead, this is to draw level. And it's this.

What flavour sandwich is the subject of a well-known poem by Mandy Coe?

OK, if I'm going to write a poem about a sandwich,

I'm going to write about a cheese-and-pickle sandwich.

So would Mandy Coe. She did, yes. It's the right answer.

I don't know - Ode To A Cheese-And-Pickle Sandwich?

OK, we go to Sudden Death. Dave has been through it many times.

We make it harder. It's all square after three questions, so we remove the options.

And this is for Dave. Which of Oscar Wilde's plays features an invented character called Bunbury?

I've never heard of it.

I'll have to go The Importance of Being Earnest.

The Importance Of Being Earnest...

-..is the right answer.

-Oh. Well.

Just think - first Oscar Wilde play that comes in your head.

OK, well, Mary-Ann. What is the title of the second book

in Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games trilogy?

I know it's the one where the girl and the boy go round the districts

and something, something... I don't know, fall out, have a fight,

more people die?

But it's called...

Um,...

I'm afraid I don't know.

Catching Fire. Catching Fire.

Which means you won't be in the final round. Bad luck, Mary-Ann.

Dave's there. Would you both please come back and join your teams?

Tap and Chat have lost one brain from the final round. The Eggheads are all there.

Food and Drink is our next category.

TAP AND CHAT TEAM: Ah!

Well, who's going to play this?

Stay with us, Clarissa, because you must choose your Egghead.

Well, I think I have to choose Judith.

-Of course.

-A contestant worthy.

-Ooh!

-Fighting talk.

I think we just might say "It's a buy" and have done with it.

Say "bye-bye"! I'm saying bye-bye to send you to the Question Room.

That's Clarissa and Judith, please.

So, Clarissa, what would you cook for Judith if you were having her round for supper?

I have the most brilliant fishmonger in Musselburgh,

so I'd probably cook her a little lobster, because we have a live lobster tank there.

Oh, yes, please. I love that.

-I think that's a date.

-Good.

Food and Drink. You get to choose - would you like to go first or second?

I'll go first.

Good luck, Clarissa. First question is this -

what term refers to high-welfare British veal that has been responsibly produced

from calves that are fed a variety of foods, giving the meat a pink tinge?

Is it...

It's rose veal.

It is, yes. Well done.

-You like fuschia veal, do you?

-I think that's very appealing(!)

OK, Judith, your first question.

What traditional name is given to the spicy Jamaican seasoning, used to cook chicken and pork dishes?

Is it...

I think that's jerk. Jerk chicken.

-Jerk.

-Yes, it is, yes. Well done.

I think we've eased you both in with those questions.

And second one to you, Clarissa.

The term "prestige cuvet" is normally used to refer to which drink?

Champagne, to go with your lobster.

It came back round. It is the right answer. You have two.

Judith, which popular Indian dish

derives its name from the Persian for "fried" or "roasted"?

HE READS

Oh, dear. Well, biryani is something with rice, I think.

I don't know what dopiaza is.

I'm going to say masala.

Masala. What do you think, Clarissa?

-I think it's dopiaza.

-Ah, that's interesting,

-because it's neither of those.

-Oh, it's biryani?

-It is biryani, yes.

-A chicken biryani is chicken all done up in rice.

-Not separate from rice.

-I wouldn't have thought it was fried at all.

Oh, well. Glad you got that question.

Biryani, not identified by Judith,

giving Clarissa a shot straightaway here at the final round.

Italian zeppole are a form of which food?

HE READS

Good Lord. Um,... Well, bomboloni is fried doughnuts, isn't it?

Um, I honestly don't know. How appalling. Um,...

-I'll go for breaded prawns.

-Breaded prawns for zeppole.

-These are a form, apparently, of fried doughnuts as well.

-Oh, really?

Yes. Well, you still get the round if Judith doesn't get this.

Judith, the rice common to many sushi dishes is known by what name?

HE READS

That I don't know, because I don't really like sushi very much.

I'm going to use the magic right and go down yakumi.

Yakumi, and yes, obviously with the origin of sushi, that would fit.

But it's not the right answer. Your magic right has failed you.

-Deserted me.

-It's the not-so-magic middle. Shari rice.

Which means, Clarissa, you proceed into the final round,

where you will be playing with Tap and Chat to try to win £5,000.

Would you both please come back and join your teams?

As we rather expected, Tap and Chat didn't stay down for long.

It's all square, both teams have lost one brain from the final round.

And our next subject is Music. And who wants to play it?

I'll go! I'll go! I know nothing about it, but I'll go.

-Really brave.

-And I would like...

-Pat.

-Pat. OK.

Well, I mean, I can hardly restrain Christine, she's got to go!

The Question Room. Take Pat with you, please.

Well, Christine, you love weeds, so you're in the right place here, looking at these Eggheads.

A slap across the chops. I do it for you, it's on your behalf.

-Just to demoralise them. Have they been asking you for horticultural tips, Christine?

-Not many.

They've been quite laid-back and haven't pounced on me, as yet.

-It will happen, cos it normally does.

-I'm sure.

That Gardener's Question Time, have you ever been asked a question that completely stumps you?

Absolutely. It's such a vast subject. How can you know everything?

I think the skill is being absolutely honest and just answer that you're as thick as bricks.

Right. Well, we'll keep that for Gardener's Question Time.

In Eggheads, we want you to be smart as a pin.

And it's Music, which you've bravely volunteered to do.

-Would you like to go first or second?

-First, please.

Right, Christine, here you go.

The musical West Side Story is mainly set in which US city?

I don't know, so I'm going to go for Chicago!

Right. Well, no. West Side was a little bit of a clue there.

It's the West Side in New York.

So, right, Pat.

Lisa Marie Presley married which popstar in 1994?

I think she's also been married to the actor Nicholas Cage.

I think she was briefly married to Michael Jackson.

It is the right answer, yes. Michael Jackson. OK, you have the lead.

Right, we need to get you off the mark, Christine.

"Every day should be a holiday",

"We used to be friends" and "Bohemian like you"

are the titles of UK chart hits by which band?

You might well ask.

Told you I wasn't musical. Um,...

I'm going to go for The Art Of The Nose.

-Er, The Art Of Noise.

-Noise, sorry.

It's the Dandy Warhols.

So Pat has a chance to close this down fairly rapidly.

Pat, who performed "This Must Be The Place" -

a song which featured in both Wall Street films?

Is it...

Hm...

I can't recall the song.

Of those three bands, Talk Talk are English, Tears For Fears are English

and Talking Heads are mostly American.

So, on that very slender basis,

I will go for Talking Heads.

OK, on nationality.

It is the right answer!

I'm not sure if the logic's correct, but it doesn't matter.

Bad luck, Christine. Come back, we'll have a chat in the studio.

You're not in the final round. Pat will be.

Would you both please come back and join your teams?

OK, the balance slightly tipped now in the Eggheads' favour.

They have lost one brain but Tap and Chat have now lost two.

And so to our final head-to-head before that final round.

This one is Science. You have Joe or Lionel to play it.

-Shall I do it?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Go!

-I'll give it a try.

-Joe, stay with us and choose your Egghead,

either from Kev or Baz.

-Kev or Baz?

-I like that. Kevin or Barry.

-Who looks more scientific, do you think?

-Baz.

We're getting a whisper for Baz, so Baz, please.

OK, Joe and Barry into the Question Room, please.

Joe, when we knew you were coming, some of the Eggheads' production team - none of us in the studio -

were saying "He's the bloke from Blue Peter."

Just slightly after my time, just a year or two.

Lot of pets to look after and advice to hand out.

Absolutely, and they say you should never work with animals or children.

Being a Blue Peter vet contravenes both of those. It was certainly an interesting challenge.

As you were followed during your time in vet school,

and then as you started practising, how much pressure was that - the cameras on you all the time?

I mean, we'd just come out of college, just learnt our trade

and we're not only worrying about being a vet but then having a TV camera following our every move.

Certainly made it more pressured.

But we did get used to it. It became part of our lives after a while,

cos it went on for so long - seven years in total.

Wow. That long. I suppose you got to the stage where if there WASN'T a camera, you were worried.

"Look, I've just cured this animal... Where's the camera?"

We've got a camera on you here as you answer these science questions.

-Would you like to go first or second?

-I'll go first, please.

Best of luck, Joe. Which of these is a type of computer data storage device?

Whilst I'd love it to be the wallop drive, or even the bang drive,

I'll have to go with the flash drive.

Good answer. I can confirm that is correct.

Barry, what type of radiation is known by the abbreviation UV?

It's the other end of the spectrum of visible light. It's ultraviolet.

Yes, it is. One to you.

Joe, straight back to you, then.

In the periodic table, which element is located beneath lithium

and above potassium?

Oof! That's quite a tricky one, isn't it? Um,...

I'm tempted towards barium,

but not with any great conviction.

-But I'm going to go with barium.

-Tempted but no conviction.

-Barry, shaking your head.

-No, calcium and barium are in the same group. It's sodium.

He did reveal to me he's got a chemistry degree, before we came in.

It rather helps as well. Sodium was the answer we were looking for.

So Barry has a chance for the lead here.

What name is given to the type of tree, regularly planted in cities

because of its resistance to pollution and disease?

You see a lot of these in cities, especially in London, because they are London planes.

London plane is correct, so you have that lead.

Joe, you need this. Which creature, found in the Americas,

has the alternative name yapok, Y-A-P-O-K?

I have not got a clue, I'm sorry to say.

Um,...

I'm going to go down the middle with the capybara.

Capybara. Do you know, Barry?

Yes, it's the only marsupial found in North America.

-It's a water opossum.

-It is. You're on good form, there, Barry.

He is good! Very generous of you to admit that, Joe.

So good that you won't be in the final round. Please come back and join your teams.

So this is what we've been playing towards.

It's the final round, which is General Knowledge.

Those of you who lost your head-to-heads won't be taking part.

So, Christine, Mary-Ann and Joe from Tap and Chat,

and Judith from the Eggheads, would you leave the studio now, please?

-Lionel, we didn't get you in the Question Room.

-No. My category didn't come up.

-Film and TV, I guess?

-It was Film and TV for me, really.

-You do remember what I said at the start?

-Barry and I...

-Yep.

Barry and you in a tap-off, if we get to Sudden Death.

OK. Lionel and Clarissa, you're playing to win Tap and Chat £5,000.

Barry, Pat, Kevin and Dave, you're playing for something money can't buy - it is your reputation.

As usual, I'll ask each team three questions in turn.

The questions are all General Knowledge, the big difference is you're allowed to confer.

So, Lionel and Clarissa, are your two brains better than the Eggheads' four?

And, Lionel and Clarissa, do you want to go first or second?

We'd like to go first, please.

OK, well, try this one out.

The model Kate Moss was born in a suburb of which city?

She was born in Croydon in London.

-Very precise.

-Well done, my man. Yes!

It is the right answer, yes. We even got Croydon as well.

I only needed London, but suburb identified.

Eggheads, who ran in the US presidential elections

in 1996, 2000, 2004 and 2008?

I think it's Nader.

-OK?

-Yes.

-We think that's Ralph Nader.

It is Ralph Nader. It's the right answer.

OK, Clarissa and Lionel, here's the second question.

who or what is featured in the hologram

which appears on Bank of England five-pound and 10-pound notes?

It's not the Queen, because she's on the main note.

-I think...

-Britannia?

-Britannia.

-I think it's Britannia.

-I'd say Britannia, yeah.

-We think it's Britannia.

Britannia in the hologram. Queen on the other side, obviously.

Tudor Rose you've skipped by and got the right answer. Well done.

-Well done! Yes!

-Britannia. Two to you.

Eggheads, what is the literal translation of the Latin saying "Festina lente" -

often attributed to the Emperor Augustus.

Is it...

It's "Make haste slowly."

"Make haste slowly." It is the right answer.

So it's all square.

Getting close to the point where the fate of the money will be decided.

Clarissa and Lionel, listen up.

"When you are old and grey and full of sleep

"And nodding by the fire, take down this book" -

are the opening lines of a poem by which writer?

WB Yeats.

We think - well, Clarissa's help - WB Yeats.

WB Yeats. I heard you saying it before the options came up.

He's one of my favourite poets.

That's fallen very nicely indeed. Yeats is the right answer.

Fantastic stuff. The Eggheads really under pressure here now.

In which country is the southern European observatory's VLT, or Very Large Telescope?

I think it's in the Atacama.

Not aware of anything in Uruguay or Bolivia. It's in the Atacama.

-That's in Chile, isn't it?

-Yeah.

There are lots of telescopes, run by all sorts of countries in Chile,

because the conditions in the Atacama desert particularly favour

good observation of the skies. So, it's Chile.

It is the right answer, Eggheads.

So it's all square and we do go to Sudden Death.

And, right, you know what that means. Can't show you any options.

Which country granted chess grandmaster, Bobby Fischer, political asylum

from 2005 until his death in 2008?

-Was that America?

-No, no, because he was American.

-He was expelled from America...

-Oh, of course.

..because he was supporting the Communists.

-So it must be a Communist country.

-A Communist-leaning country.

-I think it was over this side.

-Or would it be Cuba?

No, I don't think it was Cuba.

I don't think he'd have gone to live in Cuba.

I thought it was, well, not Russia but somewhere like that.

-Um,...

-Ukraine.

-Right, shall we try that?

-Yes, let's try that.

We're not too sure but we think it must be a communistic place...

We're going to try the Ukraine.

OK, Ukraine for Bobby Fischer's political asylum, his exile,

as you described, from the United States, 2005 till 2008.

-It's incorrect.

-I thought it probably was.

-Do you know, Eggheads?

-Iceland.

-Iceland.

-It's Iceland.

-Iceland!

-Ooh!

-Now, why Iceland?

-He played a big match there.

-He played a huge match in the early '70s against Spassky.

He married a Japanese lady and was in Japan for some time.

The US was trying to get hold of him and they went to Iceland and they granted him citizenship,

which meant he couldn't be extradited. He's buried there.

-It's not over. The Eggheads need to get this correct.

-They probably will

In the United States, Quad Cities is the name given to a group of cities

that straddle which river?

-There's twin cities on the...

-Mississippi, yeah.

Could there be two sets of twin cities?

-Quad. You've also got, um...

-Straddle which river?

Nothing to do with quad, as in university rectangle?

Nothing to do with the Charles River? No?

-Well, um...

-Harvard.

-No.

-No.

Well, I don't know, but I think...

If we can't think of anything relating to the Mississippi,

I'd be inclined more to go for the Charles, but I don't know why.

Four cities on the Charles? I struggle to think. Cambridge...

Shall we go for the Mississippi as the percentage?

We don't know it, so we'll try a percentage thing and just go for...

-Just go for the Mississippi.

-Mississippi, you're saying?

-Why's that a percentage? Because it's such a big river?

-There are lots of things along it.

OK. Right. Your percentage guess...

..is correct, Eggheads! You've won.

-Ah!

-Well done, Eggheads.

-Well done.

Well done, you two. That was really exciting stuff.

-The tap-off begins now!

-Right. Off you go, Lionel.

It's been fantastic having you here. We really appreciate it.

I've been very proud to be on the programme. I love it.

-Absolutely love the show.

-The pride goes the other way.

We're proud to have you here - honoured to have you all here, playing the Eggheads.

-Lionel and I are devote watchers.

-We're devoted watchers.

Now you know the horrible truth. Don't tell everyone.

But the Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them

and they still reign supreme over Quizland.

You haven't won the £5,000 so the money rolls over to our next show.

Eggheads, congratulations. Who will beat you?

Join us next time to see if a team of sporting greats,

captained by Gareth Chilcott, have the brains to defeat our Eggheads.

£6,000 says they don't.

Until then, goodbye.

Subtitles by Re Bee Media Ltd