Episode 8 Celebrity Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together, they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to a special celebrity edition of Eggheads,

the show where a team of five quiz challengers

pit their wits against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

They are the Eggheads.

Tackling our awesome quiz geniuses today are...

It's great to have some of the country's best-loved comedians on the show.

True comedic legends who have dedicated their lives to making people laugh.

Just being in their presence has brought smiles to the Eggheads' faces.

Come on, Chris, you can do it! It's working!

Well, we tried! Let's meet the team.

Hello. My name's Tom O'Connor. I made my name on TV with the show Name That Tune.

My name is Mick Miller. My grandson knocked on the door today.

He said, "Granddad, there's a man at the door with a bald head." I said, "Tell him I've got one."

Hi. My name's Roy Walker.

I hosted a show for 14 years on TV called Catchphrase.

Hi. I'm Johnnie Casson.

I love that eBay on the internet.

I sold my homing pigeon 12 times!

Hi. I'm Syd Little and I was in a double act called Little and Large for over 40 years.

Welcome, Comedy Capers. First, you know a bit about quizzing.

Name That Tune, Catchphrase.

Good memories of that, Tom?

Name That Tune was a wonderful show.

A good show, nice contestants and a good span of music.

A good span of music that you had to know. It was great.

Roy, Catchphrase. You must have had a few answers there

that stick in your memory?

In those days, you weren't allowed to tell people they were wrong on television.

So I invented this phrase, "It's a good answer, but not quite what we're looking for."

So we shortened it down to "It's good, but it's not right."

Even though you were dying to say, "Are you thick or what?!"

Do you know what, Roy, the thought has crossed my mind now and again on Eggheads!

It's going to cross your mind again tonight!

Not at all. Not at all.

Let's see what has been happening and what's going to happen.

Every day there's ?1,000-worth of cash up for grabs for our challengers' chosen charity.

However, if they fail to defeat the Eggheads, the prize money rolls over to the next show.

Comedy Capers, the Eggheads have won the last seven games

which means ?8,000 says you can't beat the Eggheads today.

Let's see what's come up first. It's Film Television.

Well, I'm sure you're all qualified to play this

but who'd like to take it on?

I'll have a go at it. Anybody else want to have a go?

No, you'd be good on it. Yeah, go on.

I'll have a go. Roy stepping up to the plate.

Who would you like to play from the Eggheads? You can choose any one of them. It's the opening round.

Let's see. Barry.

OK. Barry. Let's have Roy and Barry into the question room, please, to make sure you can't confer.

Roy, earlier I asked our researchers for a few random facts about you.

I'm not sure I believe them, given what you do.

You were a champion hammer thrower?

Yes, I was. I was Northern Ireland hammer-throwing champion for two years.

Which is a great honour, but unfortunately, once people find out,

they never, ever ask you to walk their dog!

That answers the next question. I was going to say, "Give us a quick gag." That'll do nicely!

And a boy soprano as well?

Yes. One day, I forgot to let go of the hammer!

I love this. OK.

Let's start. Film Television. Do you want to go first or second?

May I go first?

Course you can, Roy. Here's your first question, on film.

The 2006 film Dream Girls

is loosely based on the story of which group?

I think it's The Supremes.

It is. That's the right answer. Off to a great start. Barry,

what were the first names of Cagney and Lacey in the US TV drama?

I used to enjoy very much watching Cagney and Lacey.

They were Mary Beth and Christine.

OK. You got the right answer as well.

Back to you, Roy.

In the TV drama series Shameless,

the character Frank Gallagher is played by which actor?

This is just a guess, this one.

David Threlfall.

Yes, David Threlfall is the right answer.

Good going, Roy. Two already. Second question to Barry.

In the 1990s, Jeremy Spake embarked on a media career

after appearing regularly on which reality TV series?

This was another series I enjoyed watching.

I believe he was in Airport.

You seem to watch a lot of TV. Is that why your glasses are square?

Airport is correct. Didn't have much money in those days! All right.

It's all square at the moment.

Roy's doing really well here.

If you get this, it might get you to the final round, Roy.

Here it comes. In which series of films

is a nuclear war initiated by a computer system known as Skynet?

Another guess. Mad Max.

Mad Max for Skynet. No, it's your first incorrect one.

Just out of interest. Not passing them over. Any idea, Barry?

Skynet was in The Terminator.

Terminator is the answer we were looking for. It doesn't count, though, for Barry.

But Barry will win if he gets this.

In which Oscar-winning animation did Ed Asner provide the voice of the principal character,

Carl Fredricksen?

I've only seen Ratatouille of that. He wasn't in there.

But I believe he was the voice in Up.

The old guy in Up. It's the right answer.

Sorry, Roy. You get promoted to the final round.

Bad luck, Roy.

That means you won't be there. Please come back and join your teams.

Roy, as you would say, that Mad Max answer was very good

but not quite what we were looking for!

Good, but not right!

OK. Bad luck. It means the Eggheads are unscathed at this point.

Only one round gone. Comedy Capers are missing one brain.

Our next subject today is Music.

Who'd like to play this from the Comedy Capers?

Shall I go for it? I think so, yeah.

You know all the classics, don't you? Do I?

Sinatra, you know. He sings them.

I'll go for it. He's a better singer than Elvis. Is he?

Well, he is now!

Yeah, Syd? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.

Syd and choose an Egghead. Can't be Barry. Any of the other four.

I'll go for Dave.

All right. Syd and Dave head into the question room, please.

OK, Syd. It's Music. He said you're quite a singer.

Did music ever feature much in your act?

Yeah, we started off as singers, me and Eddie.

We did all the Beatles songs and all that.

Comedy only came in because of our physiques, of course.

Eddie Large and that's it.

Did you keep it going? Did you have the odd song when you moved more into comedy?

I've been on my own now for the last ten years. Don't feel sorry for me!

It's great cos I get to sing a song all the way through

without him butting in!

And a bit of panto, as well. There's always singing in those.

Oh, yes, there is! Yes.

Oh, no, there isn't! OK. Syd, would you like to go first or second?

Ooh, yes. I'll go first, yes.

Best of luck, Syd. First question.

Which musical features the song "If I Only Had a Brain"?

# If I only had a brain, the nerve... #

The Wizard of Oz. The Wizard of Oz is the right answer.

Good start. Dave.

"The silicon chip inside her head gets switched to overload"

is the opening to which song?

All 1979 Number Ones.

Thanks for that. Boom Town Rats - I Don't Like Mondays.

OK. All '79 Number Ones, are they?

It's the right answer, yes. I Don't Like Mondays.

Syd, second question.

According to the full title of the Theme from MASH,

a 1980 UK Number One single, "suicide is..." what?

Hmm. Yeah. Well, it's not thankless.

I loved the tune. It was a great tune.

# Suicide is painless

# Diddle-dee da-da-da #

That's painless. Is the right answer.

Hooray!

Singing along with both his answers. That's two out of two.

Dave, which of these operatic title characters

is a Chinese princess?

Turandot.

Yep, OK. Not messing around there!

It's two-all.

This is the point at which it gets serious.

Either player can lose out here. Let's hope it's not you, Syd.

Which band was given the Lifetime Achievement award

at the first Progressive Music Awards ceremony held in 2012?

Well, out of those three,

my favourite band would be Genesis.

So I'll go with Genesis.

Lifetime Achievement. Yes. You've picked the one a lot of people would choose.

It's the right answer. Genesis.

You've got three. A good achievement. Puts pressure on Dave.

If he doesn't get this, he won't play any more part in this game.

Dave, whose debut solo album was The Chronic,

released in 1992?

Hmm. I don't know.

I'm going to go with Tupac or Dr Dre. I'll go Dr Dre.

Take a beating. Dr Dre for The Chronic.

You're not taking a beating. You're taking us into sudden death.

It's the right answer. Dr Dre with The Chronic.

Syd, that means we go to sudden death here to sort out a winner

and make it harder for you by not giving you any options.

We just need the answer from you.

This is your question.

Who topped the UK charts in 1962

with the million-selling single I Remember You?

# I remember you # Frank Ifield.

Very good. And the right answer, of course.

Frank Ifield.

OK. Right up your street.

You're in the lead again. Dave, which American singer

had a UK chart hit in 1959 with the song Lipstick On Your Collar?

Connie Francis.

You two are good. It's correct.

Neither one of you flinching yet.

Syd, another question.

Which planet is the first movement

in Holst's famous seven-movement orchestral suite, The Planets?

Oh, dear.

Um...

Saturn.

OK. Saturn.

It's not Saturn, no. It's incorrect.

First one we've had wrong in this great round so far.

Dave, out of interest, do you know?

I don't know, but I would go Venus, personally.

But no, I don't know.

No. I'll put it to the other Eggheads. Mars.

Mars.

OK. We'll see if Dave can get this and clinch it.

Dave, Alban Berg, composer of the operas Wozzeck and Lulu, was born in which country?

Austria. OK.

You know that, then, clearly. It's the right answer.

Austria takes you through to the final round.

Which means we bid farewell to Syd.

His considerable knowledge of music was on display there.

Bad luck, Syd. Would you both please come back and join your teams.

Syd, we should have let you through after that Frank Ifield song.

Fantastic.

But as it stands, Comedy Capers have lost two brains from the final round.

The Eggheads haven't lost any.

A third one coming up now. This one is History.

We've got Tom, Mick or Johnnie.

Do you want me to do it? Yeah, cos it all happened before I were born!

I think I may take this.

I only taught Maths, by the way, before we start.

Yeah. I'm History.

Only a little, though. Don't change the subject! Shall I do it?

I'm the oldest, so I probably know the most! OK.

Barry and Dave have played over here.

So you can play Chris, Daphne or Kevin.

I'm going to take Chris, if I may. Of course. Do you mind, Chris?

Why would I mind? Tom and I, we've known each other for, what, ten minutes?

OK. Let's have Tom and Chris into the question room, please.

Tom, good to have you in there.

Chris said you've met. Where did you two meet?

We met on a cruise ship. Both entertaining the folks.

Chris got more laughs than me!

Were you doing your Meat Loaf?

No, Tom was actually booked to entertain the passengers

and I was just being myself around the ship.

OK. Right. Well, the mind boggles!

Say no more. Exactly. Say no more!

OK. Tom, do you want to go first or second? I'll go first, please.

Best of luck. History. First question.

In 1961, the Russian Gherman Titov became the first person

to spend more than a day where?

It's got to be outer space, I'm sure.

It is, yes. Outer space, of course.

Yes. OK. Chris,

whose army threatened to mutiny shortly after reaching India around 326 BC,

forcing him to turn back?

They got as far as what's now the Punjab

and they were homesick for Greece. So it's Alexander the Great.

OK. It's the right answer, yes. Well done.

Tom,

in 1575, Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester,

held a lavish series of entertainments at Kenilworth Castle

in an attempt to impress whom?

Lavish entertainment. Were you booked for that, Tom?

I was booked, but I couldn't sing. I'd lost my voice!

Only on dates. I remember Henry VII was 1485 to 1509.

Which would give me Henry VIII shortly after that.

So Elizabeth would fall in after that. I think it's Elizabeth I.

It's the right answer. Hooray!

That historical knowledge didn't leave you.

That's great on the dates. You've got two out of two.

Chris, King John, who was crowned in 1199

was the successor to which English monarch?

Hmm.

Yeah, well he usurped Richard I.

So it's Richard I.

It is Richard I. So both knowing your kings and queens there.

Another good round.

Tom, third question. In the French Republican calendar,

that was introduced in 1793,

what name was given to the month that began on or about 18 August?

I haven't got a clue. I'll have to guess on this one.

I'm going to try Ventose.

OK. Ventose. No, it's not. It's incorrect.

Chris? Well apples ripen and so forth,

so it's Fructidor. Yes.

Fructidor is the one we were looking for. Well,

let's hope Chris misses out on this. It's sudden death if he does.

Chris, in 1970,

which British organisation filed for a patent for a nuclear-powered flying saucer?

Well, it wouldn't be my old firm, would it?

And I doubt British Steel would be up for that sort of thing.

So it's got to be British Leyland.

Believe it or not, Chris,

this is something you didn't know about your old organisation.

Because it is British Rail.

It is British Rail. Wa-hey!

The things that Chris does not know about British Rail you could write on a postage stamp,

with a whitewash brush.

How that passed you by, Chris, I don't know.

But it's great news for Tom. Yes.

You've survived. I've weakened him, as well! Sudden death.

That's right. You've chipped away at the facade.

Here you go.

The "Dear Boss" and "From Hell" letters,

widely contested as hoaxes,

were reportedly sent by which notorious 19th-century murderer?

19th century.

It's got to be Jack the Ripper.

It has. It's the right answer. Jack the Ripper.

Right, you're back in the lead.

Chris, which former first lady

became a US delegate to the United Nations in 1945?

That's got to be Eleanor Roosevelt.

Eleanor Roosevelt. It's correct.

Ah.

Right, Tom. Get another one on the board

and see if you can knock Chris out.

What is the name of the Devon village

which collapsed into the sea following a storm in January 1917?

I'll have to guess on this one.

Linton.

It's not. It's incorrect.

Hallsands. Ring a bell?

Hallsands.

Disappeared into the sea following a huge storm in 1917.

Right. Another chance for Chris.

What was the name of the Greek woman

who was mistress to the Athenian statesman Pericles

and mother to his son, Pericles the Younger?

Was that Lysistrata? Lysistrata is incorrect.

No. Other Eggheads?

Aspasia. Aspasia, yes.

Aspasia we wanted We didn't get it from Chris.

You survive, Tom. Another question.

They're getting harder! Yes, they do ratchet up the pressure.

Boabdil was the last ruler of which Spanish kingdom

surrendered to Ferdinand and Isabella in 1492?

I'll just have to pick one because I've no idea at all.

So I'll say...Granada.

Who you used to work for! Yes!

A lot of you did. It's the right answer, yes! Wow! What a guess!

Obviously didn't work in Spain. It was Granada television.

We know what I was talking about! Granada. A great guess, Tom.

I've no idea where that came from. It's brilliant.

I think it's the telly we have.

Chris, then, to save yourself this time.

From 1567 to 1568,

Mary, Queen of Scots, was imprisoned in a castle in the middle of which loch,

where she abdicated in favour of her son?

That is...

Loch Linnhe. L-I-N-N-H-E.

No. It's incorrect. Other Eggheads?

Loch Leven. Loch Leven. Leven?

L-E-V-E-N. Tom,

you're through! Hooray!

That was a fantastic performance.

Great quizzing and great history knowledge.

So, not just a gag-meister. He knows his history.

Would you both please come back and join your teams.

Roy and Syd got so close, but Tom's gone over the line.

Knocked an Egghead out. So in terms of the balance of the teams,

the Comedy Capers have lost those two brains, the Eggheads have lost one.

And it could be all square in the final round. We've got another subject to play before we get there.

This one is Arts Books.

So, Johnnie or Mick, who'd like to take it on from you two?

I bought a book the other day. How To Be Happy Without Money.

?87.95!

What was that question?

What was that question? Are we going to let Johnnie have a go?

Yep. We all agree with that? Yes.

Johnnie. OK, Johnnie.

The short ones are the best, aren't they?

Johnnie, who would you like to play? Kevin or Daphne?

The lovely Daphne. OK.

Let's have Johnnie and Daphne into the question room, please.

Johnnie, like Syd, you started out in the music end of the business?

Yeah, I was a drummer in a group in the '60s.

We did comedy like Syd and Eddie

and eventually I turned it into a career in the early '80s. I've been in debt ever since!

During that time with the band, is it true you toured with the Beatles?

A little-known band called the Beatles?

We did. Just at beginning of Beatlemania.

We did four days in Scotland and it was phenomenal.

Never seen anything like it before or since. Yeah.

What were they like? Did you hang out with them?

Yeah, I've got a programme signed by all four of them, which I've still got.

They were just ordinary boys. They were lovely. Yeah.

Didn't know what was about to hit them. Now,

do you know what's going to hit you? Arts Books.

Do you want to go first or second? I'll go first, please.

Best of luck, Johnnie. Here's your first question.

In the famous portrait by Leonardo da Vinci,

which of these parts of Mona Lisa's body are clearly visible?

Ooh, 'eck.

Certainly not her knees.

I'll have to say...

..her ears.

Ah. It's not. Oh.

Her hands are clearly visible in the portrait. Hair over her ears.

That's why you can't see them. Daphne, a chance for you to take an early lead.

In a line spoken by Mark Anthony in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar,

which phrase precedes "..and let slip the dogs of war"?

Cry Havoc.

..and let slip the dogs of war. Right answer.

OK. We'll get you moving, I'm sure, on this one, Johnnie.

Who wrote the 2011 novel The Litigators

about a Chicago lawyer?

It wasn't Dan Brown, I don't think.

I'll say... Let me think.

I know I should have rehearsed, now!

John Grisham. It's the right answer. Well done.

You are off the mark. Daphne,

which comedian and author whose house in Kent was once owned by Noel Coward

gave his 2012 novel the title Briefs Encountered?

Ah. I haven't heard of the novel.

But I seem to remember Julian Clary lives in Noel Coward's old pad,

so that's my answer.

OK. No need to know the novel.

You knew about the new ownership

and I'm sure a few owners in-between.

It is Julian Clary. Got it right. So you need this, Johnnie.

Who wrote the 2010 book The Dark Tourist

about visits to places such as Chernobyl, Beirut and North Korea?

It'll have to be a guess, I'm afraid.

Tony Hawks.

OK. Tony Hawks. Written a lot of books about his travels.

And it's not the right answer.

Do you know, Daphne? No. OK.

Danny Wallace? No, it's Dom Joly. Really?

So between the two of you, you picked him third.

It is Dom Joly who travelled to those delightful places.

Which means you're through to the final round, Daphne. No place for Johnnie.

Both please come back and join your teams.

This is what we've been playing towards.

The final round, which, as always, is general knowledge.

But those of you who lost the head-to-heads won't take part in this round.

So Roy, Johnnie and Syd from Comedy Capers,

and Chris from the Eggheads,

would you leave the studio, please?

Tom and Mick, you're playing to win the Comedy Capers ?8,000.

Kevin, Dave, Daphne and Barry,

you are playing for something which money can't buy,

the Eggheads' reputation.

I'll ask each team three questions in turn.

They're all general knowledge.

Anything can come up. You are allowed to confer.

So, Comedy Capers, the question is, are your two brains better than the Eggheads' four?

Tom and Mick, one last thing to sort out before we start.

Would you like to go first or second?

First? First, yes. First, please.

Kicking off, hoping to put the Eggheads under the cosh early on.

First question then to the Comedy Capers.

The shed in which cows are milked is named after which room in a house?

We both agree. We both agree it's the parlour.

OK. The parlour, not the boudoir.

It's the right answer, yes.

Parlour is correct.

Eggheads, after it was bought by Rupert Murdoch in 1969,

which newspaper changed from a broadsheet to a tabloid format?

The one he bought in 1969 was The Sun.

The Sun. Hard to believe it was ever a broadsheet.

It's the right answer, yes. The Sun.

OK. All square. Opening exchanges.

Back to Tom and Mick after a solid start. Second question.

Charles Watson Wentworth who served two terms as British prime minister in the 18th century

was better known by what title?

It's not the middle one, for sure.

I'm tempted to go for the middle one because there was a band called Lord Rockingham's Eleven.

But it wasn't them. I think it's the 1st Earl of Chatham.

Yep. Yep. Shall we go with that one? Shall we?

The 1st Earl of Chatham.

OK. The 1st Earl of Chatham. What was his title, Eggheads?

It's the Marquess of Rockingham.

It is the Marquess of Rockingham. No! It is, yeah.

Bad luck there. Let's see how the Eggheads do with their second one.

Which food has the Latin name Eruca Sativa?

It's rocket, isn't it? I think it's rocket. Nothing else comes to mind.

We think that is rocket.

Rocket is the right answer, Eggheads. Right.

Alarm bells ringing. You need this, Tom and Mick.

The frilled coquette native to Brazil is what type of creature?

I think it's a lizard.

And it runs around. It might be, yes.

You know, like the... Yes.

Mind you, it could be... It could be any of them.

A bird. They have beautiful birds out there with all the things.

What do you reckon? We're thinking of a lizard with a frill round its neck.

Shall we go for lizard? Go for it. Try lizard.

Is it, Eggheads? A frilled coquette? Do you agree?

No. What would you go for?

A bird, probably. Yeah, it is a bird. A type of humming bird.

Which means, Eggheads, you've won.

Bad luck there. But thank you so much for coming along and entertaining us so royally

here on Eggheads.

We haven't had so many genuine belly laughs on Eggheads ever.

It's been fantastic seeing you, Comedy Capers.

Some very, very good quizzing as well.

You all came close in the head-to-heads.

Tom, you got through.

It's my theory that your brains aren't that dissimilar.

Between you, you must carry tens of thousands of gags in your heads.

Instead, they've filled their heads with trivia!

Give us a topic and we'll tell you a joke.

Exactly, as you were doing throughout the show.

And also, you don't get heckled!

You'd be surprised, actually!

You'd be surprised!

I try my best. But there's only me here.

Thank you very much again for taking on the Eggheads today.

It's been a genuine pleasure having you here.

The Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them.

Their winning streak continues.

You haven't won the ?8,000 so that means the money rolls over to our next show.

Eggheads, congratulations. Who will beat you?

Join us next time when it's the turn of a team of weather presenters

to see if they have the brains to defeat our Eggheads.

?9,000 says they don't.

Until then, goodbye.