Episode 2 Celebrity Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to a special celebrity edition of Eggheads,

the show where a team of five quiz challengers pit their wits

against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

Here they are, the Eggheads.

-How are you feeling, Eggs?

-Brilliant.

-Brilliant, they say.

And hoping to topple the Eggheads today are Provenonsense.

Now, everyone on this team will be familiar to you

for the expert antiques knowledge they regularly display on TV -

and at this point my producer wants me to say something

about dusty old relics,

while the director gets a shot of Chris and Kevin,

but I have refused to say something as rude as that

about two of our more senior Eggheads.

Did you get the shot? OK.

Move on. Let's meet the team.

Hi there. I'm David Harper.

I'm an antiques dealer and a presenter on BBC shows like Flog It,

Bargain Hunt, the Antiques Road Trip

and Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.

I'm also an artist.

I paint very big, bright and bold pictures.

Hello, my name is Raj Bisram.

I'm an antiques expert on television.

I'm passionate about antiques,

and I think, looking at this team,

I'm probably the nearest thing to an antique there is.

Hello. I'm Caroline Hawley.

I've had a shop since the age of 20.

I'm now an auctioneer and BBC TV expert working on Bargain Hunt,

Flog It and Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.

And I love it all.

Hello. Gary Pe is my name and antiques my game.

I'm one of the newest experts on Bargain Hunt,

although by no means the youngest.

In fact, I'm almost an antique myself.

Or, as my friends like to call me, a little bit of old tat.

Hiya, I'm Danny Sebastian.

I'm an antique dealer and I'm also an antique expert.

You may well have seen me on programmes like BBC Bargain Hunt

or Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.

-So David and team, hello.

-Hello.

-How wonderful to see you all.

And we will get onto antiques - but, David, I'm just thinking,

have you got some sort of quiz strategy here?

No. Were we supposed to put together some sort of plan?!

Nobody mentioned that to me at all!

We've decided we are rubbish.

What we do is blag it on our shows.

Whatever we think, we say,

and I think that's possibly a really bad idea.

You've got knowledge, David.

I always think antiques are, in a way,

they're material history, object history, aren't they?

Yes. Well, history is probably the big one for all of us,

but that's about it.

Antiques and history, they are our two trick ponies.

OK, I hope it ends well.

Good luck, team. Every day there is £1,000 worth of cash up for grabs

for our Challengers' chosen charity.

However, if they fail to defeat the Eggheads,

the prize money rolls over to the next show.

So, Provenonsense,

I can tell you the Eggheads won the last celebrity game.

So there is £2,000 for you to play for now.

Would you like to try?

-Absolutely.

-I can't wait for this.

The first head-to-head battle is on the subject of Sport.

So, we're going to see what you're made of.

You can take either Beth, Kevin, Chris, Dave or Lisa on.

-I'm out on the Sport thing.

-I know nothing!

-I'm good at Sport.

You're good at Sport.

-Happy?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-We're going to go with Danny.

-Danny, which Egghead would you like?

Danny, who looks non-sporting?

Well, it's not by the fact that he looks non-sporting,

but I think I'll go with Chris.

Oh, that's going to make him so cross.

Some things can't be mentioned.

Sport and Chris can't be mentioned in the same breath.

Well done, Danny. You are going on Sport for Provenonsense.

Chris is being dragged into the Question Room.

Please, both of you go there now.

You are up against Chris on Sport.

Danny, you can go first or second.

I'll go first, please.

And here we go. Good luck, Danny.

Which of these sportswomen was born first?

Denise Lewis has...

Has she retired?

That puts her at a fair age.

Jessica Ennis-Hill?

For some reason I'm getting steered towards Katarina Johnson-Thompson.

Right, I am going to go with...

..Katarina Johnson-Thompson.

OK. Katarina is still competing.

Jessica Ennis-Hill retired. Denise Lewis is in the commentary box.

Denise Lewis is the answer.

She was born first.

Don't you worry. Chris's question.

Who won the Formula One Drivers' World Championship in 2016?

I think it was a major upset

that Lewis Hamilton didn't win it.

I don't think it was Jenson Button either. So I'll say Nico Rosberg.

Nico Rosberg is correct.

Well done. So he has got one.

See if you can pull back now, Danny.

At the Sydney Olympics,

Audley Harrison won a gold medal in which weight division?

Audley Harrison would have been super-heavyweight.

Super-heavyweight is the right answer.

Well done.

OK. Chris, it's your question.

You're level. Which of these is a popular scoring system

used in amateur golf?

Texas hold 'em is a form of poker.

I think it is the Stableford system, Jeremy.

-Stableford.

-Let's see.

-Eggheads? ALL:

-Yes.

Stableford is right.

I'm afraid he is getting them right at the moment, Danny.

It's a bit annoying with these Eggheads.

It does mean you need to get this one to stay in.

The wicket keeper batsman Jos Buttler

joined which county cricket team in 2014?

I think I'm going to have to take a wild guess at this one.

I'm just not sure, to be honest.

I think they are all quite good cricket teams.

I think it's either Yorkshire...

For some reason I'm being steered towards Yorkshire or Lancashire.

I actually live in Lancashire,

so if I say Yorkshire I don't think I'm ever going to live it down.

So I'm going to go with Lancashire.

I'm glad you did. It's right.

Two out of three for you.

Chris can take the round with this.

The rugby union player Gavin Hastings

typically played in which position for Scotland and the British

and Irish Lions?

I never know these rugby positions.

Gavin Hastings, he was a bit of a big lad, wasn't he?

He would have been a full-back, surely.

-Let's see. Beth, do you know?

-Yeah, he is a full-back.

Full-back is right, Chris. Oh, Danny, that is so annoying!

I thought he was going to struggle with that.

So you have been knocked out, I'm afraid.

It can be quite swift, can't it?

Chris, Sport, you are through to the final.

-Look at that! Fighting talk.

-He can't hear us.

The stakes have just gone up a little bit here.

Please come back, gentlemen. Rejoin your teams, we'll play on.

OK, so, a difficult start for Provenonsense.

What is the antiques equivalent of what has happened?

-The door has fallen off?

-Rubbish!

-Just a loose hinge?

-Yeah, yeah. Something like that.

Needing a little restoration work, shall we say?

Little bit of French polishing and it will be fine.

It always works wonders.

So you have lost a brain on this side.

The Eggheads all still there.

They're looking a bit too smug, so let's take one of them down.

The next subject is Film & TV.

Who would like this?

Caroline, how are you on Film & TV?

Not brilliant, I don't think. Is anybody...?

Danny?!

-Danny can't play every round.

-Yeah, but Danny is doing so well.

He has done better than any of us so far.

I think any of us really will be...

-I'm not good or bad.

-I'm not good on film, really.

Raj? I think it's down to you, mate!

-What do you think, Film & TV? Any good?

-Not really.

-What are you good at?

-Geography.

I'll do it! To save you boys arguing, I'll do it!

-No, I'll do it! I'll do it!

-Sure?

-Yes.

-Caroline.

-Choose an Egghead.

That's the key thing, that's the first big decision.

It can't be Chris.

Oh, Film & TV.

I would like to choose Dave, please.

All right. Known as Tremendous Knowledge.

Tremendous Knowledge!

So, Caroline from Provenonsense versus Dave from the Eggheads,

Film & TV.

Please take your positions.

Caroline, you run your own auction business.

We have one down our road and I always say to my wife,

I beg her to let me buy the suit of armour, every time,

whenever one comes in. And she'll never let me do it.

I want you to call my wife and tell her why she should let me buy it.

She just thinks it would look ridiculous

standing in the middle of our bedroom.

It's great! Why not? Why not?!

I can tell your team-mates think the same.

No, no. Sounds good to me.

Film & TV, Caroline.

Would you like to go first or second?

I would like to go first, please.

So here we go. I know it's not quite the subject you might have chosen,

but let's see how you do. Your first question.

Davina McCall was the presenter of which TV series from 2000 to 2010?

Right. I don't watch lots of TV, I have to say.

But I know it's not Top Gear.

And it's not Pop Idol.

-It's Big Brother.

-It is indeed Big Brother.

Yes. How Davina made her name, really.

Dave, on to you. Who plays the title role in the zombie comedy film

Shaun of the Dead?

I think that's Simon Pegg.

It is indeed Simon Pegg, yeah.

OK, back to you Caroline.

Mrs Pumphrey and her spoiled dog Tricki Woo

were recurring characters in which TV drama series?

I don't think it is Auf Wiedersehen, Pet.

I'm going to go with All Creatures Great And Small.

-Let me check with your team-mates. Team?

-No doubt about it.

No doubt about it, they like that.

All Creatures Great And Small is right.

Two out of two, well done.

Dave, which TV game show of the 1970s, '80s and '90s

featured two teams of celebrities playing a game of charades?

It is not a Game For a Laugh or Call My Bluff.

The charades one was Give Us a Clue.

Give Us a Clue is right. Imagine someone pitching that now!

Would that...?

No. I don't think so.

It's not going to threaten Bargain Hunt!

OK. Caroline, might be a crucial moment.

Get this right and then you get some pressure on Dave,

and maybe his door falls off.

That is the only antique analogy I've got, guys.

-It's a good one.

-Thank you. The cupboard falls over.

Caroline, who plays the role of the wizard Grindelwald

in the 2016 film Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them?

I think...

..maybe not Johnny Depp.

I'm going to go with...

-..George Clooney.

-Do your team know?

-Let's see.

-I would have guessed Johnny Depp.

-Yeah.

-Oh!

-It is Johnny Depp.

So, two out of three, just like Danny.

Let's see if it's enough to get you into Sudden Death.

Dave, you can take the round with this third question.

In which TV drama series did David Morrissey play the role

of a soldier named Sam Webster?

It's not Line Of Duty.

It could be The Missing and it could be The Fall.

I might have to take this one, take the fall myself.

I'll go for The Fall, please.

Oh. OK.

It's about a serial killer.

-Right, so it's The Missing.

-Yeah, I think that's all I need to say,

-really.

-Yes, it is. Yeah.

The answer is The Missing, Dave.

You go to Sudden Death with him, Caroline.

A little bit of progress for your team here.

So here it gets a bit harder - I don't give you options.

Old Ned was the theme tune to which long-running TV sitcom

of the 1960s and '70s?

Do you know, I really don't know. Nothing's leaping out at me.

Rising Damp.

No, it's Steptoe And Son.

-Oh, no!

-It's kind of right up your street.

-No, that is so bad. No.

-Because, in a funny way,...

-Of course it is.

-And Steptoe and Son were not antiques dealers,

-but they were...

-Rag and bone men.

-Rag and bone men. Right.

So they were a few steps down.

-Yeah, thanks.

-Oh, I thought you'd go straight there.

Steptoe And Son. Never mind.

OK, Dave, for the round, the celebrity agent Ari Gold,

played by Jeremy Piven, is a character in which TV comedy series?

I'm just having a think about what it's called.

I know the programme.

Entourage.

Yes, it is Entourage, Dave, well done.

Sorry, Caroline, beaten by our Egghead, there.

He's pretty good, old Dave.

And he's won the round and you've been knocked out.

So, Caroline, Dave, please return and we will play on.

OK, Provenonsense have now lost a second brain from the final round.

The Eggheads are all there, intact, shells on.

The next subject for you is History.

Now this should be good, right?

-So...

-Oh, now, you see, there's the pressure.

-The pressure's there.

-You wanted History.

Yeah, thanks, Raj. You wanted History, as well.

-I don't mind.

-There are three historians left.

-I don't mind doing it.

-OK.

-David.

-Yeah.

-So, David, who would you like to take on?

Kevin, Beth and Lisa - who looks unhistorical?

-Very good question.

-Lacking in history knowledge.

One of them's going to be deeply offended

by this choice, aren't they?

I think... I know Lisa's done Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

and, I think, Beth, you need to do a Celebrity Antiques Road Trip,

so I'm going to choose you.

-Oh.

-OK. That sounds like an invitation.

-Yeah.

-David from Provenonsense

versus Beth from the Eggheads on History.

Please go to our Question Room now.

So, History.

I think History's good for an antiques expert, I really do.

It should be.

It should be. That's part of the problem, I know.

David, do you want to go first or second against Beth?

I want to get it out of the way.

Jeremy, I want to go first, please.

Here we go, then.

In his 1775 speech to the Virginia Convention,

Patrick Henry famously said "give me liberty or give me" what?

OK, 1775, so this is George III

and we're talking about the American colonial civil war...

Not civil war, the War of Independence here,

aren't we, obviously?

Death, imprisonment, or war.

Give me liberty or give me...

..war...

-is my answer.

-War is your answer.

Let's see. Do you know, Challengers?

-Death, I think it's death.

-It is death.

-Oh!

-Give me liberty or give me death.

And, Beth, your question.

Which of these historical figures was born first?

I hope that was Napoleon.

Napoleon is the right answer.

David, in 44 BC, which man adopted Octavian,

the future Roman emperor Augustus?

I think I'm better in the Georgian period, to be honest.

I think we're going back too far here.

Surely one of the emperors, so Nero or Julius Caesar.

I think Julius Caesar is later, isn't he?

I'm going to go Nero.

Let's see from our Eggheads. Is he right?

-It's Julius Caesar.

-Julius Caesar.

Julius Caesar is the answer.

-Sorry, guys.

-The 50-50 is...

-Yeah.

-..getting to you.

All right, Beth, your question.

You can take the round with this.

The American criminal Charles Floyd, born in 1904,

was best known by what nickname?

They all sound like very Chicago-esque, mobster-type names.

I bet Chris is sitting there on his hands, rocking, going,

"It's such and such."

Charles Floyd.

My first thought from those is Pretty Boy,

so I'll go with that.

-Pretty Boy.

-Let's see if Chris does know.

Is it right?

Yeah, see, you mugs, it is Pretty Boy Floyd, yeah.

-Pretty Boy Floyd is the right answer.

-Yay!

Well done, Beth.

You've won the round.

David, sorry, beaten by our Eggheads on History

and therefore not in the final. Please return to us.

One more round to play before the final.

-OK, bad luck there, David.

-Oh, well.

-It happens.

I know that Roman emperors are not covered in the world of antiques.

Provenonsense have lost three brains from the final round.

The Eggheads have not lost any.

The next subject is Geography.

-Not me.

-Raj, it's got to be you.

He's been talking about geography all day.

Shires and counties.

You're going to have to do it, aren't you?

Yeah. I'm going to have to do it.

And it's Kevin or Lisa.

-Lisa, please.

-Okey dokey.

So, Raj from Provenonsense is going to play Lisa from the Eggheads.

OK, please go to the Question Room for the last round.

So, Raj, would you like to go first or second against Lisa?

Jeremy, I'd like to go first, please.

All right, good luck, Raj, against Lisa on Geography, and here we go.

Which of these oceans is the smallest by surface area?

Well, I'm pretty certain it's not the Pacific.

I'm going to go down the middle. I'm going to say Indian, Jeremy.

-Do we like that, team?

-We do, we do.

We like it. Indian's right.

Lisa, your question.

The Tay is the longest river in which country of the UK?

The Tay? T-A-Y?

-T-A-Y.

-Just checking.

I think you'll find that in Scotland.

Scotland is right.

Raj, in which part of the UK is the town of Harrogate?

Harrogate. Well, it's definitely not Scottish Borders

and I've been to the West Country quite a lot

just recently on Road Trips, so it's not the West Country.

It's in North Yorkshire, Jeremy.

North Yorkshire's correct.

All right, so far a perfect round. Let's see, Lisa.

Adelaide is the capital of which Australian state?

It's the smirk on your face when you say the word Australia

when you look at me, Jeremy.

I notice you did not even bat an eyelid when I raised

your most problematic country.

Not even giving you the satisfaction any more.

It's South Australia.

Oh, right, you've been brushing up, have you?

Little bit.

South Australia is quite right.

A year ago that might have floored Lisa, that question,

but she's been, obviously, spending time with maps.

All right, Raj, this is where a couple of your colleagues

have come unstuck, on this beastly third question.

Get this right, put Lisa under some pressure.

Which of these countries has the largest population?

Well, Australia's certainly the largest of them...

..but probably not for population.

I'm not sure about this one at all.

I'm going to say...

Spain, Jeremy.

Don't say that. Japan!

But I'm not sure about that.

-We've got a slight paroxysm of agony going on in the team-mates.

-Yeah.

Tell us why, team-mates.

It's Japan.

Yeah, Gary confirms Japan is the answer.

OK, Lisa, here's your question, for the round.

Which country is often referred to as the Giant of Africa?

OK, well, if we are assuming it's on size, it ain't Rwanda.

If it is on size, I'd guess it would be Nigeria.

No, I don't know. I think that's the only reasoning I can go on.

-We'll try Nigeria.

-Nigeria.

Well the reason is to do with population, but also economy.

The Giant of Africa is Nigeria,

so, well done, Lisa, you've won that round.

Raj, sorry. Ah, what can I say?

-Close.

-Close!

Close, indeed. Beaten by our Eggheads and, if you come back,

we're ready to play the final round.

Excellent. I think we're all in, aren't we(?)

LAUGHTER

So, all very exciting, this is what we have been playing towards.

It is time for our final round

which, as always, is General Knowledge.

But I'm afraid those of you who lost your head-to-heads

won't be allowed to take part in this round.

So, David, Raj, Caroline and Danny from Provenonsense,

would you please now leave the studio?

Don't leave me!

Well, Gary, you are playing to win Provenonsense £2,000.

I know this was not quite the plan,

for them all to end up in the sin bin.

No, this is not what I wanted.

You can do it, you can do it.

Beth, Kevin, Chris, Dave, Lisa,

you're playing for something that money can't buy,

the Eggheads' reputation

to withstand this celebrity onslaught you've been under today.

As usual, I will ask each team three questions in turn -

and this time they're all General Knowledge.

Usually I say, Gary, you can confer,

but I know this doesn't really help here.

The question is, can your one brain take down these five?

And then we can run the clip again and again on Bargain Hunt

when it happens. Would you like to go first or second?

I'll be a rebel and go second, please.

OK, so, the first question goes to the Eggheads.

Cryptozoology is the study of what?

-Legendary creatures.

-Legendary creatures?

-Yeah.

Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them.

It's legendary creatures.

Yes, indeed, an example of that being the Eggheads.

Legendary creatures is correct.

-GARY:

-Should have gone first!

-Oh, yeah.

It's OK. Look, don't worry. Here we are.

We're still early days here in the final round.

Playing for £2,000.

Gary, in Greek mythology, who slayed the dragon Ladon?

L-A-D-O-N.

Achilles. Achilles heel.

No, there's nothing to do with that. I don't think so.

Paris I don't think has anything to do with that.

I think it's Heracles.

I think it's Heracles, too.

Well done.

OK, Eggheads.

Which member of the Royal Family had a famous romantic association

with Group Captain Peter Townsend?

-Margaret. Margaret.

-Princess Margaret.

It was Princess Margaret.

It was Princess Margaret, well done.

OK, Gary, your question.

Which comedian, who passed away in 1995,

is often referred to as the father of modern satire?

I would say it's Peter Cook.

You're playing confidently. You're quite right again.

Peter Cook is right.

I think you've rattled them here with your decisiveness.

Eggheads, third question.

Which of these famous archaeological finds is located in Suffolk?

Sutton Hoo.

Yeah. Actually been there. Very interesting site.

It's Sutton Hoo.

Sutton Hoo is right.

Not a hair out of place, so far.

Just get this right, Gary, and then they could fall into total shambles.

Here's your question.

Operation Eagle Claw was a failed mission by the US military

in April 1980 to rescue hostages being held in which country?

It's not Russia...

and I don't think it's North Korea, either.

Who was President then, was that...?

I think it was Jimmy Carter.

In which case, I do believe that that would be Iran.

The answer's Iran.

It was just before Reagan took over, and it was a real humiliation,

and it was Jimmy Carter, and it was Iran.

Well done, Gary, three out of three.

Oh, I'm feeling the tension now.

You've pulled it back here.

Scores are level, we go to Sudden Death.

It gets a bit harder, as you know, Eggheads,

you've been here so many times. I do not give you different choices.

Here is your question.

The arctic explorer, diplomat and scientist

Fridtjof Nansen was born in which country?

-Norwegian.

-Norwegian, yeah.

He was born in Norway. Norwegian.

Norway's right.

Gary...

Sussudio was a 1985 hit single for which UK singer?

Oh, no.

Phil Collins?

You're right!

JEREMY LAUGHS

How brilliant.

-No!

-Yes!

Well done, you.

All right, maybe this is going to happen. I'm feeling it now.

Something in the air tonight!

Here we go. Watch the Eggheads crumble now.

In the early 20th century, Daisy Greville, the Countess of Warwick,

threatened to publish intimate letters revealing an affair

between herself and which king when he was Prince of Wales?

It's got to be Edward VII.

THEY TALK OVER ONE ANOTHER

Yes, basically, yes.

-So, yeah.

-OK?

-I can't think of any others.

The then-king in the early 20th century was Edward VII,

who'd been Prince of Wales for a very long time indeed,

so it would have been tricky for it to have been anybody else.

So, Edward VII.

Edward VII is quite right.

Apparently their affair took place when he was Prince of Wales.

OK, I'm afraid... I was hoping they'd stumble there,

-but they didn't.

-Obviously I got that question.

When there's all five of them, it's very hard.

The brains are all working in sync.

Here's your question. Sudden Death - you've got to get this right.

The 2012 novel A Week In Winter was the last to be written

by which Irish author?

I don't even know any contemporary Irish authors, unfortunately, so...

No. I'll need to pass. Nothing.

-Sorry.

-OK.

A Week In Winter.

You've passed. Do you know, Eggheads?

-Maeve Binchy.

-I'd have gone Binchy, yeah.

-Maeve Binchy.

-Yes.

-Oh.

-Not even close.

-Not even... OK.

Well, there's some consolation in that.

The answer is Maeve Binchy

and we say congratulations, Eggheads, you have won.

Well, there we are.

You're a quizzer, Gary, there's no question.

Definitely a quizzer.

That Phil Collins answer was miraculous.

Oh, dear. It was the only one from the 1980s that I could think of.

Yeah, but really well done. I'm sorry.

Maeve Binchy, if it's not there, it's not there.

It's a bit obscure for me.

But thank you so much for playing. Thanks, team, at the back.

Great to see you.

-What fun. I hope you enjoyed it.

-Oh, absolutely. It was great.

You've definitely done them proud, you really, really have.

Commiserations to our Challengers, our celebrities.

The Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them.

You still reign supreme over even celebrity quiz land.

I'm afraid it means you haven't won the £2,000

so the money rolls over to our next show.

Someone's going to win it, surely, at some point -

but I wonder, Eggheads, you are in very good form.

Join us next time to see if a new team of celebrity Challengers

have the brains to defeat the Eggheads.

£3,000 says they don't.

Until then, goodbye.