Episode 9 Celebrity Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to a special celebrity edition of Eggheads,

the show where a team of five quiz challengers pit their wits

against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

They are the Eggheads.

Is that a good build-up for you, Eggs?

-It's excellent.

-You like that.

Having designs on taking down our quiz Goliaths today are...

Now, Everyone on this team will be familiar to you

for the creative expertise they bring to some of

the most popular lifestyle programmes on TV.

So, let's meet them.

Hello, I'm Tom Dyckhoff,

I'm an architecture and design historian and broadcaster,

and presenter of The Great Interior Design Challenge.

Hello, I'm Piers Taylor, I'm an architect,

and I present The House That £100k Built,

and The World's Most Extraordinary Homes.

Hello. I'm Esme Young,

I've been involved in making clothes my whole life,

from designing, cutting, making, teaching,

and now I'm a judge on The Great British Sewing Bee.

Hello, my name's Danny Clarke.

I present a series called The Instant Gardener,

which shows us how we can have a nice garden

without it breaking the bank.

Hello, I'm Keith Brymer Jones. I'm a potter and a designer,

and I'm also a judge on The Great Pottery Throw Down.

-So, Tom and team, hello. ALL:

-Hello.

Welcome, great to see you. And I should start, Tom,

by just asking about the team name here, Seamingly Clueless,

I notice the spelling of that.

Yes, a little witty aside there in honour of Esme,

and the fact that we're trying to be a little bit

self-deprecating as well.

Hopes are not high. What do you say?

-Hopes are pretty low, actually.

-Hopes are pretty low.

-Don't worry!

The Eggheads can have their clueless moments, so do not worry.

They're not by any means faultless, are you?

-Not at all.

-They do slip up. Good luck, Challengers.

Every day there is £1,000 worth of cash up for grabs

for your chosen charity. If you fail to defeat the Eggheads,

we just roll the prize-money to the next show.

Now, we've had some celeb teams in already,

and they've all come a cropper, OK?

-No pressure, then.

-Eight of them in a row.

Well, I think that's good for you. It means that no-one's won before,

and the jackpot for you to win is...

-Wow.

-OK.

-OK.

So, eight teams have failed, you're the ninth, good luck.

-Shall we start?

-Yeah, go on, then.

-Focus, team.

-Bring it on!

-Shall we hold hands?

We can do it!

You can do it! Come on!

We've got a lot of talent on this desk.

The first head-to-head battle is on the subject of Music.

And it's one of you you've got to choose,

against either here, Judith, who famously won £1 million,

Kevin, Steve, Dave, Lisa.

I'm happy to do Music.

-Are you Music?

-OK.

-You want to do Music?

-Yeah.

-I'll do sport, if it comes up.

-I'm good at music.

-Go, Piers, go!

-But against who?

-I think Judith.

-Judith? Yeah.

-Bold!

And I know you did Bob Dylan as your specialist subject

-on Celebrity Mastermind.

-I did.

-OK, Piers from Seamingly Clueless,

our first celeb in going against our own Judith from the Eggheads.

And just to ensure there's no conferring,

would you please now take your positions

in our famous question room?

Well, your thing is architecture, Piers, I know,

but we don't have an architecture round.

That's a pity. So I'm going to have to settle for Music.

Well, I know you love Bob Dylan especially.

That's right, yeah. Bob Dylan is a big hero, but I do have my gaps,

-I'm telling you.

-OK, well, let's hope we avoid them.

Would you like to go first or second against our Egghead?

I would like to go first, actually.

So, playing music against Judith, Piers, your first question.

Roxie Hart is a character in which musical of stage and screen?

Gosh, I haven't got a clue, but I'm going to have to guess here.

So, I suspect it isn't The Sound of Music.

It sounds like it could be an American name,

so I'm going to go for Chicago.

Absolutely right, well done.

-Yes!

-Thank goodness for that.

-Phew!

-Well done, Piers.

Judith, yours.

When Jason Orange left Take That in 2014,

how many members of the original group remained?

Oh, deary me.

Take That. I think three remained.

You're absolutely right, Judith, well done.

-Three.

-Phew!

Phew! Piers, your question.

If Every Day Was Christmas is a 2016 single by which celebrity child?

Gosh, again I haven't got a clue, and I haven't heard the song.

Is it music?

I'm going to have to...

..guess again, and I think

it is Cruz Beckham.

You're right, Cruz Beckham it is.

-Phew.

-I can see how competitive you are.

Judith, to catch up.

Which US singer had posthumous UK number one albums with Songbird,

Imagine and American Tune?

I don't know, but I'm going to guess at Karen Carpenter.

Yeah, I know why you did that.

Eva Cassidy is the answer.

Ooh, a bit of a glitch.

So, Piers, you can take the round with this question.

Don't let her back in.

First performed in New York in 1954,

The Tender Land was a major operatic work by which composer?

Gosh. Again, I don't think it's avant-garde enough for John Cage,

who I know is an avant-garde composer.

I think it isn't Aaron Copland, so I'm going to go

for Leonard Bernstein.

Yeah, I could see the logic of not going Cage,

but are you right on Copland/Bernstein?

-Eggheads, do you know?

-I would have gone the same as

-Piers.

-You like Bernstein.

-What about you, Judith?

-Well, I'm going to say Aaron Copland,

cos I just hope that's what it is.

Aaron Copland is right.

Aaron Copland is the answer, so Judith has a chance to come back.

Judith, get this wrong, you're out.

In 2015, which American hip-hop group sold the only copy

in existence of their album Once Upon A Time In Shaolin

for a reported £1.3 million?

I have absolutely no idea.

I'm going to go Arrested Development.

The answer is Wu-Tang Clan.

I so nearly went for that.

You so nearly got it right, but you're knocked out, I'm afraid.

-Oh.

-First blood to our Challengers.

-This is good, guys.

-Yes!

-Well done, Piers.

Phew! By the skin of my teeth!

You've emerged triumphant against Judith.

You will be in the final round.

Please rejoin your team-mates, and we'll play on.

As it stands, Seamingly Clueless have not lost any brains.

Well played, Piers.

That was good, that's a good start for you, Challengers.

The Eggheads have had a brain knocked out,

and the next subject is Sport.

-Who wants Sport?

-There's only one person!

It's Danny, right?

-Do you mind, Danny?

-No, I don't mind.

-Yeah.

OK. Our brilliant gardener, against which Egghead?

It can't be Judith, Danny.

So, you can have Lisa, Dave, Steve or Kevin, left to right.

I think I'll go for Lisa.

So, Danny from Seamingly Clueless is playing Lisa from the Eggheads.

They're starting at the ends and moving to the middle.

This is exciting.

To ensure there's no conferring, please take your positions.

Well, I'm sorry we haven't got a garden for you

-to work on here, Danny.

-Oh, that's a shame, Jeremy.

I feel bad about turning to sport,

but I've got to mention, you're actually

a sportsperson really, aren't you?

Yes, I am. I used to play a little bit of sport.

And you've been on the books of Charlton Athletic?

-A long, long time ago.

-And Borussia Monchengladbach?

Borussia Monchengladbach in Germany, yes.

Well, I think we've got you on the right round here.

-I really do, Danny.

-OK.

-So, good luck on sport.

You're playing Lisa. Danny, would you like to go first or second?

I'll go second.

Here's your first question, Lisa.

Which word is used instead of match to refer to

each of the five tennis contests that make up a Davis Cup tie

between two countries?

That's a rubber.

It is a rubber.

Danny, on to you.

The Rugby Union centre Jean de Villiers has played

over 100 times for which country?

Well, I'm not really a rugby person, Jeremy.

And I reckon the clue has got to be in the name.

Sounds like a South African name, so I'll go with that one.

You're absolutely right, South Africa.

-Whoa!

-South Africa. Yeah!

OK, Lisa.

Which athlete broke the indoor

and outdoor pole vault world records 35 times during his career?

So, Carl Lewis was a sprinter,

and I don't think ever went near a pole vault pole in his life.

It was part of Sebrle's discipline, because he was a decathlete,

world record-breaking decathlete.

But the one we want here is Sergei Bubka.

Well done you, Sergei Bubka is quite right.

35 times.

They're quite good, Danny, aren't they?

-They are, yeah, very good.

-They know stuff.

OK, your question, Danny.

The footballer Thibaut Courtois typically plays in which position?

Well, I know this one.

Goalkeeper.

Yeah, he is.

Goalkeeper is correct.

So, two each and, Lisa, your question, your third question.

In which city did the British swimmer Anita Lonsbrough

win an Olympic gold medal?

OK. Now, when Becky Adlington won her gold medals,

it was the first time that a British woman had done it since Lonsbrough.

And I think it was in the '60s, which would make it Rome,

but I'll just have a little think about that.

Erm, no, I don't think you've got to go back as far as '48 for it.

I think it's Rome.

You're absolutely right, Rome it is.

Three out of three, Lisa, on Sport.

OK, to stay in, Danny, you've got to get this right.

Which cricketer scored a century on his Test match debut for England

against India in December 2016?

That's a question and a half.

Keaton Jennings certainly did.

You know what, I'm going to go for Keaton Jennings.

Keaton Jennings is the right answer.

Oh, it is?

-Whoo!

-Whoa!

I know you were on the edge, there.

You're playing well, you've got three out of three,

Lisa's got three out of three. We go now to Sudden Death.

It gets a bit harder - I don't give you different options.

Lisa, your question.

What is the first name of the American high jumper

after whom the Fosbury flop technique was named?

Erm, I think he was Dick Fosbury.

Dick Fosbury is quite right.

So, Danny, you need to get this one.

In 2016,

which English man became golf's first Olympic champion since 1904?

Well, it wasn't Rory McIlroy, because he didn't go.

Look, I'm going to take a punt on this one.

Darren Clarke.

Darren Clarke is your answer. Lisa?

-Justin Rose.

-Justin Rose is the answer.

-Ah, Justin Rose!

So sorry, Danny, you've been knocked out by our Egghead there,

which levels things up.

Please return to your teams and we'll play on.

All right, you've lost a brain, Seamingly Clueless,

the Eggheads have lost one, too.

We're in a perfect situation for a great contest here,

and your next subject is Arts & Books.

Who would like this?

-Go for it, mate.

-Probably me.

-Yeah.

-Me, I think.

-OK.

It's going to be Tom Dyckhoff,

architecture critic, against which Egghead?

Dave, Steve, Kevin.

I like a bit of symmetry, so who are we going to knock out?

-I think Dave.

-All right.

I thought symmetry would mean taking out Steve in the middle.

I know, I know, but one by one, one by one,

-then we'll get the middle one.

-I see the logic.

Tom from Seamingly Clueless to take on Tremendous Knowledge Dave,

as he's known, from the Eggheads.

On Arts & Books, please go to the Question Room.

-Good luck in this round, Tom.

-I'm going to need it!

Arts & Books the subject against Tremendous Knowledge Dave.

-Would you like to go first or second?

-I'd like to go first.

Get it over and done with.

And here we go. Arts & Books.

Your first question.

Which of these is a book by Roald Dahl?

Well, I actually know this one.

I've got two small kids so I know about children's books

so this is something I know about. Fantastic Mr Fox.

Is the right answer. Well done. Fantastic Mr Fox.

Dave, your question. What is the opening line of Shakespeare's play

Twelfth Night?

If music be the food of love, play on.

Absolutely right. If music be the food of love, play on,

-is the right answer.

-Yeah.

-Tom, back to you.

The Running Man,

featuring a futuristic game show in which contestants are hunted down

is a 1982 book by which author?

Science fiction is not my thing.

I'm pretty sure William Golding didn't write much in the way of

science-fiction. Stephen King might have done.

But I'm going to go with Clive Barker.

That's interesting. So 1982 book,

it's by Stephen King.

-Stephen King wrote The Running Man, not one of his best-known.

-No.

It was actually released under the name Richard Bachman and these days

usually gets Stephen King writing as Richard Bachman. But, yeah, that's

the book on which the Schwarzenegger film of the same name is based.

Dave, your question.

In Oliver Twist,

which character is described by Dickens on his first appearance

as having two scowling eyes, one of which displayed various

parti-coloured symptoms of having recently been damaged by a blow?

I'm not sure about this one at all.

Logic would normally take me to Fagin...

..but "damaged by a blow" - because Bill Sykes was a bit of a bruiser -

leads me more to Bill Sykes.

Yeah, you know what, let's go Bill Sykes.

The answer is Bill Sykes.

So, Dave takes the lead.

And it means, Tom, you need this to stay in.

"What's it going to be then, eh?"

is the opening line of which novel?

Well, I don't think it's 1984, I've not read Moby Dick,

but I've read A Clockwork Orange,

but can I remember that being the opening line of A Clockwork Orange?

I'll go for A Clockwork Orange as a punt.

You're absolutely right, Tom, well done.

A Clockwork Orange, well done.

Dave, you can take the round with this question.

The Alan Ayckbourn play A Chorus Of Disapproval is based around

rehearsals for an amateur production of what?

I didn't know which opera it was.

Oh, dear. It could be any of them.

I'm going to go Albert Herring.

Albert Herring.

It's The Beggar's Opera.

-I would never have got that.

-The Beggar's Opera.

So after three questions, you're level.

We go now to Sudden Death just to make it that bit harder,

these questions are not multiple choice. Tom, here's yours.

The novel The Last of the Mohicans

was first published in which century?

The 19th century.

19th is right.

Dave, in Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone...

HE LAUGHS

-You don't like your Harry Potter.

-No. Go on. Yeah.

In Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, the blood

of which creature is said to keep you alive

even if you are an inch from death

but at a terrible price?

No, not going to get anywhere near it.

Dragon.

No, a unicorn. You've been knocked out, Dave.

Tom, well done, you're in the final round.

-Well done.

-That was a close one.

So please come back to us. This is looking very good for our celebs now.

We'll play the last round before the final.

So, as it stands, Seamingly Clueless have lost one brain from the final

round. The Eggheads have lost two, though. Dave has gone.

One more round before the final and the subject for you is Science.

So, it's going to be Esme or Keith.

-Do we have to flip a coin?

-I am absolutely hopeless.

Anyone got a science background they can declare?

-Doesn't look like it.

-No, not really.

-Doesn't look good.

-I'll have a go.

-Go on, Keith.

-I'll give it a go.

-All right, brilliant.

And against which Egghead, Keith?

You can have Steve or Kevin.

Do you hurl yourself at Kevin, do you try and take out Steve?

-I don't know.

-I'll hurl myself at Kevin.

OK.

-Always the best tactic.

-Stand well back.

So, Keith, from Seamingly Clueless

gets Kevin on the potter's wheel from the Eggheads.

To ensure there's no conferring, please, for the last time,

take your positions.

I'm wondering if you might be Britain's most famous potter, Keith?

Well, either me or maybe Grayson Perry.

You're up against Kevin, Keith.

He's very good.

Would you like to go first or second?

I shall go first, please, Jeremy.

And here is your first question, Keith, good luck.

The sun is at the centre of which of these?

Well, it's...

..not the universe.

The galaxy...

No, I'm pretty sure it's the solar system.

Clue's in the name. Yes, the solar system is the right answer.

Kevin. What type of animal is a tapir?

Uh, it's...

Well, it's a mammal.

Mammal is right. Very good.

OK, back to you, Keith.

Caspian and Javan are two now extinct types of which animal?

Well, I'm pretty sure it's not a penguin.

I would go for...

..llama.

-Tiger is the answer, not llama.

-OK.

-So sorry, Keith.

Kevin, your question. Which particle is often referred to

as the God particle by the media?

Well, there was a lot of publicity around this because it was something

that had been searched for for about 50 years before it was finally,

they think, detected,

as an entity that's supposed to give mass to other particles.

It's the Higgs Boson.

Higgs Boson is quite right.

Keith, here's your question to stay in.

Which famous astronomer, born in Hanover,

was also an accomplished musician who wrote 24 symphonies?

Well, I'm pretty sure it's not Patrick Moore.

There's the Halley's Comet.

I'm going to go William Herschel.

-I'm glad you'd did. William Herschel is correct.

-Yes!

Well done. The astronomer who was also a musician.

All right, level, but Kevin has this question in hand.

Kevin, here we go.

Which English scientist, born in 1578, published his theory

of how the heart propels blood in a circular course through the body

in a work called Anatomical Study Of The Motion of the Heart

And Of The Blood in Animals?

Yeah, well, he's the one who is credited with this, well,

actually working out the system.

Although people had previously had ideas about some of it.

It's William Harvey.

And that's how they quiz. That's how they roll, Keith.

-I'm so sorry.

-Great.

-William Harvey is the right answer.

-Great.

-One of the all-time great quizzers there.

-Fantastic.

Kevin, you're in the final. Keith, sorry, you've been knocked out.

The Challengers have got a good shout in this final round.

Return to us, gentlemen, and we'll play it.

All right. Exciting contest, this.

And this is what we've been playing towards.

It is time for our final round.

As always, it is General Knowledge.

But, I'm afraid those of you who lost your head-to-heads

won't be in the final round,

so that's Danny and Keith from Seamingly Clueless but also

Dave and Judith from the Eggheads.

Would you please now leave our studio?

Tom, Piers, Esme,

you're playing to win Seamingly Clueless £9,000.

Lisa, Stephen, Kevin, you're playing for something money can't buy,

which is the Eggheads' reputation and to keep defeating

these celebrity teams, which you're doing at the moment.

As usual, I will ask each team three questions in turn.

This time the questions are all General Knowledge.

You are allowed to confer.

So Seamingly Clueless, the question is,

can your three brains defeat these three over here?

Tom, Piers, Esme, would you like to go first or second?

First.

Here we go. At the start of a game of chess,

the queen sits with the king on one side of her

and which piece on the other?

-It is the...

-Haven't a clue.

I do, sorry. Do you play chess?

Work it out.

King and queen, castles are at the end,

-and is the knight the one on the horse?

-Yes.

-I think it's the bishop.

-OK.

-I don't know, so...

-Bishop.

-The Bishop.

Bishop is correct. I can see how one could get suddenly confused by that.

-That's our Sports question.

-Over-thinking it.

-Yes.

-Let's hope so.

-Eggheads, your first question.

The word Kahuna, used in expressions such as the Big Kahuna,

has its origins in the indigenous language of which US state?

-Hawaii?

-Was that Big Kahuna? Must be Hawaii.

-Yeah.

Yes, Hawaii.

I think the Ks and Hs give it away, Jeremy. It's Hawaii.

Hawaii is the right answer.

Back to you, Challengers.

You're doing well. Which famous song begins with the lines,

"I am he, as you are he, as you are me and we are all together,

"See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly."?

I Am The Walrus.

I Am The Walrus.

-I Am The Walrus. Yes, you're right. I Am The Walrus.

-Good, good, good.

-Yes, yes.

-Yes, yes, they say.

Eggheads, got a feeling about this contest.

I'm wondering if you might come unstuck.

Which European country's flag consists of a yellow sun

with eight broadening rays extending to the edges of a red background?

-ALL:

-Macedonia.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, Macedonia.

-We're all happy that's Macedonia, Jeremy.

Macedonia is quite right.

2-2. Now, this is important. This is your third question.

Get this right, you may not need to do any more work.

Which British fashion designer drove a tank to David Cameron's home

in a protest against fracking in September 2015?

Vivienne Westwood.

Oh, you know that.

Vivienne Westwood is correct.

Three out of three.

Will that be enough? Let's see. Eggheads,

who wrote Hangover Square

and the trilogy 20,000 Streets Under The Sky?

-Read them both.

-Patrick Hamilton.

-It is, yeah. Brilliant writer.

I've read them both, Jeremy. Absolutely fantastic writer.

It's Patrick Hamilton.

-That's annoying.

-It is, isn't it?

-Very.

-Patrick Hamilton is correct.

Eggheads, 3-3.

All right, we go to Sudden Death.

You know what this entails.

-Yep.

-I don't give you options.

Keep on keeping on. Are you going to be the first celebrity team to beat

them after eight have fallen?

Can you do it?

In the UK, which patron saint's feast day is celebrated April 23rd?

St George? Yeah, St George.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

-St George.

George is right. Well done. St George.

Eggheads, to stay in.

What is the name of the letter that directly follows Delta

in the classical Greek alphabet?

-Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Epsilon.

-Yeah.

-Epsilon.

-That's Epsilon, Jeremy.

Epsilon is right.

Challengers...

Seascape, A Delicate Balance and Three Tall Women

are Pulitzer Prize-winning plays by which American playwright?

-Do you know?

-No, I don't.

Shall we have a guess?

Well, let's think of American playwrights.

-So it's Seascape...

-Three Tall Women...

-It's not something like...

-Pulitzer Prize-winning.

-It's not Tennessee Williams or...?

-No, I don't think so.

It's not Arthur Miller?

-No. I get a bit sketchy after Arthur Miller.

-Yeah, yeah.

Maybe we need to go for one of those?

-Cos that's all we know.

-Exactly, I think we're going to have to.

-Shall we try Arthur Miller?

-Yeah.

OK, let's give him a go.

-OK.

-It's not that, but...

Arthur Miller.

Arthur Miller

is the wrong answer. Let's just see. Eggheads?

-Edward Albee.

-Edward Albee.

-Oh, you all say it.

Edward Albee was the answer, Challengers.

It's in their hands now. Can they win?

Your question. The 2016 novel Holding is the first novel

written by which broadcaster and talk-show host?

Not a clue.

I think it might be Graham Norton.

I'm not sure.

But I know he did do one in 2016 which was very...

..well received by the critics, I thought.

Better than anything I've got. Are you happy with that, Lisa?

-I'm happy.

-I may be wrong.

-Yeah.

Kevin seems to think it's Graham Norton, so that is our answer.

Do you know this one?

-I think it's Graham Norton.

-I thought it was Jeremy Vine!

If only! They would deliberately get it wrong if it was me.

If you've got it right, the contest is over.

The correct answer is...

Graham Norton. We say congratulations, Eggheads.

You have won.

-We didn't disgrace ourselves.

-No, not at all.

-Well done.

-Worthy winners.

-Did you enjoy that?

-Well, we didn't disgrace ourselves so that's OK.

-No!

You did a 3-3 in final for heaven's sake.

You were toe-to-toe.

Listen, thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-I hope you had a good time.

Our commiserations to these brilliant celebs of Seamingly Clueless,

who weren't clueless at all, by the way.

The Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them,

this winning streak continues.

It does mean that the celebs haven't won the £9,000,

so we'll take that money and roll it over to our next show.

It's going to be 10,000.

Eggheads, congratulations.

Who will beat you?

Join us next time to see if a new team of Celebrity Challengers

have the brains to defeat the Eggheads for 10,000.

Until then, goodbye.