Episode 4 Celebrity Mastermind

Four celebrities who think they know everything there is to know

about their specialist subjects. But can they cut it

on television's toughest quiz? They've agreed to put themselves

in the hot seat for their chosen charity,

but only one person can be the winner.

Who will be crowned tonight's Celebrity Mastermind?

Our first celebrity in the spotlight is the Radio 2 DJ Ken Bruce.

His specialist subject - the Jeeves novels of PG Wodehouse.

Comedian Holly Walsh is next in the firing line,

her specialist subject - badgers.

Singer and pop star Paul Young takes on the films of Johnny Depp.

And CBeeBies presenter Sid Sloane,

his specialist subject - Liverpool Football Club, under Bob Paisley.

APPLAUSE

Hello. I'm John Humphrys and welcome to Celebrity Mastermind.

Tonight, our four Contenders will have one-and-a-half minutes

of questions on their specialist subject

and two minutes on general knowledge.

And whoever scores the most will not only be able to call

themselves a Mastermind - a huge honour -

but they get this lovely trophy too.

So let's get on with it and ask our first Contender to join us, please.

And your name is?

And your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

The Jeeves novels in 90 seconds, starting now.

What's the title of the first full-length PG Wodehouse novel

featuring Bertie Wooster and Jeeves published in 1934?

-Thank You, Jeeves.

-In Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit,

what does Jeeves describe

as "a dark stain, like mulligatawny soup"?

-Blood on the carpet.

-Bertie's moustache.

Which English public school did Bertie attend,

before going on to study at Oxford University?

-Eton.

-In The Mating Season,

which of his aunts does Bertie describe

as, "The one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth"?

-Aunt Agatha.

-In which novel does the character Sir Watkyn Bassett first appear?

-The Code of the Woosters.

-In Much Obliged, Jeeves,

what is the name of Bertie's old friend from Oxford

who's standing for parliament in the by-election at Market Snodsbury?

-Ginger Winship.

-Of which fictional gentleman's club in London is Bertie a member?

-The Drones.

-What is the nickname of G D'Arcy Cheesewright,

who is described as having a pink face, and head

that look as if it's been blown up with a bicycle pump?

-Stilton.

-In The Code of the Woosters,

Bertie wakes with a hangover, following a bachelor party, who was the party for?

Er.. Gussie Fink-Nottle.

Madeleine Bassett's described as, "A whimsical girl,"

who believes the stars are God's daisy chain,

that rabbits are gnomes in attendance on the Fairy Queen

and that every time a fairy blows its nose, what happens?

An angel dies.

Nearly. A baby is born. Bertie discovers Jeeves'

Christian name for the first time in Much Obliged Jeeves, what is it?

-Reginald.

-What is the name of

the former head of Malvern House Preparatory School,

whom Bertie describes as, "That prince of stinkers"?

-Aubrey Upjohn.

-In which fictional department store

is Sir Roderick Carmoyle employed as

a floorwalker, in Ring For Jeeves?

-Harrige's.

-Who's the subject of the poems...

BEEP

I've started, so I'll finish. ..that Bertie is supposed to be reading

at the concert in The Mating Season?

Gussy describes the poems as "nauseous productions".

Erm... It's... Duh...

-Yes?

-AA Milne.

No. But you were close.

-It was Christopher Robin, who AA Milne created.

-Oh!

-I'd have given you half a point, but the rules don't allow that.

-Oh.

-You don't need it because, Ken, you have 11 points.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

And our next Contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

Badgers, in 90 seconds. Here we go. What name is usually given of

the den occupied by a badger colony, consisting of a network of tunnels?

-Sett.

-A female badger is called a sow,

what corresponding name is given to a male badger?

-Boar.

-Which invertebrates, that are primarily nocturnal,

are the staple food of the badger? They can eat up to 200 in a night.

-Earthworms.

-What is the primary function of the badger's subcaudal gland,

which lies just in front of the base of the tail?

-Masking.

-Hmm...

Scent marking.

Yes! What is the scientific name of the genus of the European badger?

-Meles meles.

-A badger is the symbol of which house

at Hogwart's School, in the Harry Potter books?

-Hufflepuff.

-Badgers are members of the Mustelidae family of animals,

native to every continent except Antarctica and which other?

-Australasia.

-What name did Beatrix Potter use for the disagreeable badger

in her 1912 children's story The Tale of Mr Tod?

-Tommy Brock.

-Badgers scent mark each other

in a process known as allo-marking,

what name is given to the form of allo-marking in which only one badger

does the marking and the other one may or may not reciprocate?

Erm...

-Making friends.

-Sequential marking.

In which Asian country are badgers

of the genus Meles anakuma principally found in the wild?

-Asia.

-Japan.

Badgers is the name given to the youngest volunteer section

of which first aid organisation

who wear black and white uniforms?

-St John's Ambulance.

-What name has been given, in research by Penny Thornton,

to a badger sett with only one or two holes and no defined path,

that is only used intermittently?

BEEP

Subsidiary.

No, it's called an outlier sett.

No passes. Nine points.

APPLAUSE

And our next Contender, please.

And your name is?

And your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

The movies of Johnny Depp, in 90 seconds. Here we go.

In the Pirates of the Caribbean

film series, what's the name of the captain played by Johnny Depp?

-Jack Sparrow.

-Following a series of gruesome murders in Sleepy Hollow,

which New York City cop is sent to investigate?

-Ichabod Crane.

-In which 1998 film, based on Hunter S Thompson's novel,

does Depp play the drug-addicted journalist, Raoul Duke?

-Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

-Gilbert Grape is having an affair with

one of his customers that takes place while

he's delivering her groceries, what's her name?

Mrs...Whitehouse.

Mrs Carver. Which real-life undercover FBI agent

does Depp portray in the '97 film Donnie Brasco?

-Joe Pistone.

-What book, given to him by Katrina Van Tassel,

later saves Ichabod Crane's life, when it stops a bullet aimed at his heart?

The... Safe With Spirits.

No. A Book of Spells. When Edward Scissorhands

is brought down from his house on the hill,

what's the shape of the first topiary he creates in Peg's back garden?

-It's...a bird of some sort.

-No, it's a dinosaur.

Raoul Duke arrives in Las Vegas

with a suitcase full of drugs and checks in to the Flamingo Hotel.

He's there to report on a convention of which professionals?

-Racers. Road racers.

-No, district attorneys.

How does Donnie Brasco have to change his personal appearance

to comply with the requirements of both the Mafia and the FBI?

Erm...

Slick-backed hair, moustache.

Yes. He's got to shave off his moustache. At which port in Jamaica...

BEEP

I've started, so I'll finish.

..does Jack Sparrow first come ashore,

paying three shillings to do so without having to divulge his real name?

Erm...

I...

THEY BOTH LAUGH

-No, I can't think.

-Go on, take a guess.

Erm... Kingston.

No, it was Port Royale, but that was close.

-Anyway, Paul, no passes, five points.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

And our final Contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

Liverpool Football Club. 90 seconds.

Here we go. In May 1981,

Bob Paisley became the first manager to win which competition for the third time?

-The League Cup.

-The European Cup.

Which long-serving full-back was Paisley's first signing as Liverpool manager?

He was bought from Northampton Town in 1974.

-Phil Neal.

-Who left the club in 1978, when he signed for Swansea City?

He'd made over 800 first-team appearances for Liverpool.

-John Toshack.

-Ian Callaghan.

Which Liverpool Captain was voted Footballer of the Year in 1977?

Kevin Keegan.

Emlyn Hughes. From which club did Paisley sign

Graeme Souness, Craig Johnston and David Hodgson?

-Middlesbrough.

-At what ground were the first and second replays

held in Liverpool's marathon FA Cup semi-final tie against Arsenal in 1980?

Hillsborough.

Villa Park. In May 1976, Liverpool beat Wolves

3-1 at Molineux in the last match of the season

to overtake which club and win the league by a single point?

-Queens Park Rangers.

-By what aggregate score

did Liverpool beat FC Bruges to win the 1976 UEFA Cup Final?

-4-3.

-In the 1976-77 season, Liverpool won the League

and reached the finals of the FA and European Cups,

but which club knocked them out of the League Cup in the second round?

Nottingham Forest.

West Brom. Whose late goal won the European Cup quarterfinal tie

with St Etienne in 1977 and justified his "Supersub" tag?

-David Fairclough.

-In '74, against which Norwegian team

did Liverpool record a club record 11-0 win in a Cup Winners' Cup match?

Stromsgodset.

BEEP

What is the name... I've started, so I'll finish.

..of the full-back that Paisley signed from Wrexham

in 1975 and sold back to them in '78?

-I'll put you out of your misery, shall I?

-Go for it.

-Joey Jones.

-Joey Jones!

-You knew it.

-I did!

-That's the thing about the black chair.

Right, with that one pass, you have 6 points.

APPLAUSE

So that's the specialist knowledge round. Let's have a look at the scores.

And in fourth place, with five points, Paul Young.

Third place, with six points, Sid Sloane.

Second place, with nine points, Holly Walsh.

In the lead, with 11 points, Ken Bruce.

APPLAUSE

Round 2 now. And this time, they have two minutes on general knowledge.

So let's get on with it and ask Paul to join us again, please,

to test his general knowledge.

We'll have a little chat first. Paul, I remember you,

I suppose, in a way, for Band Aid.

-Yes, it would be.

-It was a fantastic hit, wasn't it?

It was, and it was the first of its kind, I think.

And everyone was there for the right reasons, because it was

the first time it had ever been done.

I suppose the other big thing that's changed in your business since then

is that in those days,

you absolutely had to have a big record label

to sign you up and to push your career, didn't you?

And you don't any longer, do you?

Not really. The one thing that was beneficial when you had to have a record company

is that the people that ran the record companies back then really knew their music

and if they found a ground-breaking artist, they would stay with that artist

through the fledgling years, until they really hit form,

because they spotted the talent very early on.

-You do it in your bedroom now!

-Exactly.

Would you have preferred that? You did well with the record companies.

Yeah. I think in an ideal world, it's best to have both.

Yeah. Well, you've done well.

Paul, let's see how do you do with your general knowledge round.

You've got five points so far. Here we go.

Two minutes this time. And here are the questions.

Austin is the capital of

-which American state? The largest city is Houston.

-Texas.

Litmus paper turns red in the presence of acid,

what colour does it turn in alkaline solutions?

Green.

Blue. Which British sitcom was set in

the clothing section of Grace Brothers Department Store?

-Are You Being Served?

-Whose memorial column in Trafalgar Square

was designed by the architect William Railton, between 1839 and 1842?

-Admiral Nelson.

-What French name

is used for a small bun made from choux pastry,

especially one filled with whipped cream and served with a chocolate sauce?

Oh...

Oh... They're right in front of me.

-Go on!

-Can't think of their name!

We'll take that as a pass.

The title character of which 1982 Steven Spielberg film

is befriended by a boy called Elliott?

-ET.

-Which American golfer

sacked his caddie, Steve Williams, in July 2011,

ending a 12-year working relationship?

-I know nothing about sport, so I'll say Tiger Woods.

-Correct!

What brass instrument did the jazz musician

Louis Armstrong famously play,

after originally learning to play the bugle and the cornet?

-Trumpet.

-Which member of the British Royal Family was born on the 21st of June 1982?

-Prince William.

-What is the main ingredient of the Provencal dish Bouillabaisse?

Bouillabaisse is...fish.

Yeah. In March 2012, who became only the second fictional character

to have a commemorative plaque in London?

The unveiling celebrated 40 years since

David Bowie was photographed there in a jumpsuit and platform boots.

-Pass.

-In which BBC television series do celebrities trace their ancestry,

often finding intriguing secrets from their past?

-I watch it, but I don't remember the title, so I've got to pass again.

-All right.

What term is used for an irrational fear or dread,

aroused by a particular object or circumstances?

-Phobia.

-In which country are the ruins of the Inca city of Machu Picchu?

-Mexico.

-Peru. The invention of what sort of puzzle is credited to...

BEEP

..John Spilsbury, in about 1766,

when he stuck a map of Europe on a piece of mahogany and cut it up?

-Jigsaw.

-Yeah, jigsaw puzzle.

Right, you have three passes. "Who Do You Think You Are?"

is the name of the telly series you could not remember.

-Ziggy Stardust was the fictional...

-Oh, I see.

Sorry, I misunderstood the question.

And the name of that bun that you couldn't remember was a profiterole.

-Yes!

-Yeah. Three passes, Paul. You've now got

a very respectable total of 15 points.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

And now Sid Sloane again, please.

And...you've got six points so far, Sid.

-Yes.

-CBeebies, you've been on it for a very long time, ten years?

-Yes.

That is a long time. How do you...

Not stay young, but how do you stay... I hate this word!

..relevant for kids?

Because, you know, they grow up and...

As long as you're happy and have a happy disposition,

-it's all the same really, isn't it? When I was...

-I wouldn't know, I don't do happy!

LAUGHTER

When I was very young, I had Derek Griffiths as my person to look up to

and he just had this thing in his eyes.

Every time I looked at the TV, I didn't care how old he was or what colour he was,

it was just this thing in his eyes that said "happy"!

Now, you are a star in South Africa.

-Yes.

-How come?

-I present CBeebies for Africa.

-It's a BBC Worldwide franchise which...

-All of Africa?

Yes. It does go out through most of Africa.

-The hub is South Africa. I always wanted to do it in an African accent.

-Have a go.

IN SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENT: I used to do this thing on CBeebies,

I'd pretend I had an African accent.

So I want to be CBeebies Africa presenter, but they wouldn't let me.

LAUGHTER

So I just became myself.

APPLAUSE

You've got six points, and the score to beat at the moment is 15.

Let's see how you do with your general knowledge.

Two minutes, starting now. Which secret agent

made his first appearance in Ian Fleming's 1953 novel Casino Royale?

-James Bond.

-What name is given to Mo Farah's victory celebration,

in which he forms an M-shape over his head with his arms?

-The Mobot.

-Which comedian

won the 1999 Perrier Award at the Edinburgh Festival for his Pub Landlord routine?

-Al Murray.

-What's the name of the traditional white coffee

made frothy with steam and served topped with powdered chocolate?

-Cappuccino.

-Where in London did the Wombles go

"underground, overground, wombling free"?

-Wimbledon Common.

-Which scale for measuring the magnitude of earthquakes

is named after the American physicist and seismologist who devised it in 1935?

-Richter.

-In his 1964 hit, Gene Pitney was Twenty Four Hours from...?

-Charleston.

-Tulsa!

What is the surname of the Ukrainian World Champion

boxing brothers Vitali and Wladimir?

-Klitschko.

-What is the title of the television comedy series

that follows the story of a Welsh girl from Barry Island

and an English boy from Essex falling in love?

-Gavin And Stacey.

-Which of London's airports,

officially opened by the Queen in 1958,

claims to be the first in the world to integrate road, rail

and air transport in a close-knit single unit?

Heathrow.

Gatwick. In the human body, which joint is formed by the meeting of the femur with the tibia?

-Foot.

-Knee.

What is the popular name for the uppermost gallery of a theatre,

where you would find the cheaper seats?

-The Gods.

-Rocky Mountaineer trains

operate over scenic routes in which Commonwealth country?

-Pass.

-In the 2012 remake of the film Total Recall,

who plays the factory worker Douglas Quaid,

the role played by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the original film?

-Colin Farrell.

-Clydesdale, Shire and Suffolk Punch are all heavy breeds of which animal?

-Dog.

-Horse. What was the surname of the American political brothers

John, Robert and Edward, whose father Joseph

had once been his country's Ambassador to Britain?

-Major.

-Kennedy.

BEEP

You had one pass.

-The Rocky Mountaineer trains operate in Canada.

-Canada!

But you've got 16 points.

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

APPLAUSE CONTINUES

And now Holly again, please.

And you are obsessed with, I'm told,

and have been since you were about six or seven, badgers.

Well, I wouldn't... I was obsessed as a child

and then when they asked me what my specialist subject would be, aged 31,

I suddenly realised, "I don't have a specialist subject!"

-Ah.

-But if you'd asked me, aged eight,

it would have been badgers. Of course it's badgers. That's why I chose it.

All right. Now, the other thing

-you made your name for is trying to be the birdman, right?

-Yeah.

I jumped off Worthing Pier, in an attempt to fly,

and as I hit the water, I broke my elbow.

How did you do it? Would you like to demonstrate?

-Let's pretend that that little platform is...

-OK.

This should be a lot bigger.

I'm dressed as a damsel in distress...

-Right.

-..next to a man dressed as Rambo. I'm in a helicopter

made of cardboard and guttering.

I move to the edge and then someone says, "You can jump."

And then I just do that. That's it.

-Pretty simple.

-That's not very exciting, to be honest.

Well, thanks a lot. I broke my arm for that.

But the gap was wider than that gap there. How far did you fall?

-It was about 40 foot.

-Oh, right. Well, that's better.

I haven't really got over the accident,

-but it's nice of you to make me redo it.

-So the trauma...

LAUGHTER

-It's bringing it all back.

-The trauma's still there, is it?

Yeah... No, it's not. I'm fine.

All right. Well, you did ever so well, you've got nine points so far.

And 16 is now the score to beat.

-We've got two minutes' worth of general knowledge questions. Ready?

-Yep.

-Right. In 2012,

what competition was won by a dancing dog called Pudsey and his owner Ashleigh,

earning them £500,000 in prize money?

-Britain's Got Talent.

-Which metallic element

was once widely used in clinical thermometers?

-Mercury.

-Who became the President of France in 2007,

but was defeated by Francois Hollande in the 2012 election?

-Sarkozy.

-Which singer, formerly married to Russell Brand,

released the album Teenage Dream in 2010?

-Katy Perry.

-Whose statue of David, completed between 1501 and 1504,

was originally placed in front of the Palazzo Vecchio, in Florence,

where a copy now stands?

-Michelangelo.

-The amount of pigment in which part of the eye

determines its colour?

-Iris.

-The crusading journalist Mikael Blomkvist

is one of the leading characters in the Millennium trilogy. Who wrote the books?

-Pullman.

-Stieg Larsson. In retailing, what does the acronym BOGOF stand for?

Buy One Get One Free.

Which city's tourist attractions include the Albert Dock,

a branch of the Tate Gallery and the Cavern Club?

-Liverpool.

-A shucking knife is used partly to open what?

-Oysters.

-In which film does Whoopi Goldberg first play the night club singer Deloris,

who goes into temporary hiding in a convent?

-Sister Act.

-What is the name of the cyclist,

who won the traditional sprint down the Champs Elysees

at the end of the Tour de France for the fourth time in 2012

and is known as the Manx Missile?

-Wiggins.

-Cavendish. Montego Bay is a major

tourist resort in which Caribbean country?

-Jamaica.

-Which parasitic plant, particularly associated with Christmas,

was once believed to have both magical and medicinal powers?

It was thought to be a cure for sterility and an antidote to poisons.

-Ivy.

-No. Mistletoe. Members of

a North Yorkshire branch of a national organisation

posed nude for a charity calendar,

their story was later told in the film Calendar Girls. What is the organisation?

Women's...Institute.

Yes. In ballet, how many basic positions of the feet are there?

-52.

-Five! Who resigned as the Chief Executive of News International in 2011?

She had previously been the editor of the News of the World and The Sun.

-Rebekah Wade.

-Rebekah Brooks, yes. Same thing.

If it rains on the saint's day celebrated on the 15th of July...

BEEP

..it is supposed to herald 40 days of wet weather. Which saint's day is it?

St Galoshes.

LAUGHTER

Nice try, but it's St Swithin's.

However, Holly, you've got 22 points!

Wow!

APPLAUSE

Right. Ken Bruce, your turn.

-Boy! You're really facing a bit of a challenge here.

-Not half!

Goodness me! You've been doing Radio 2 for 26 years.

It's actually a little longer than that.

-Is it really?

-I started the daily programme in 1985.

What's the difference between Ken Bruce now and Ken Bruce then?

Well, there are some details in there. I speak a little less formally now than I did back then.

-For instance?

-Well, I spoke rather better in those days, but now I just...

IN SCOTTISH ACCENT: ..talk like that, Jimmy!

But the thing with radio is, it's always welcome in your home.

It doesn't take up too much space in your life, you can get on with the cooking and cleaning

and still listen to the radio.

If you're watching television, your eyes are drawn to it

and you stop doing what you're doing.

And then after ten minutes, you say, "That's ten minutes I will never get back again!"

-"Thank you very much, Fred!" On the radio, you're not in the way.

-Ken, you're right,

-television will never catch on(!)

-No, I don't think so.

-I've been saying that for 50 years.

-Lord Rees told me that...

I believe you! Right, now, you've got 11 points.

The score to beat, if you are to become the Mastermind, is 22.

-OK.

-Don't know whether you can do it.

-We'll have a go.

-Be British.

-Be British and calm.

-Don't panic. The pressure's on you, but don't panic.

-Thanks.

Two minutes. Which roast meat is often

cooked in a way that produces a crisp, brown skin known as crackling?

-Pork.

-What is the nickname of Edwin Eugene Aldrin, the second man on the Moon?

-Buzz.

-In which city's local football derby do the Jambos play the Hibees?

-Edinburgh.

-What's the name of the former Conservative Cabinet Minister

who has taken Great Railway Journeys around Britain for his television series?

-Michael Portillo.

-Which Russian composer's first symphony,

composed in 1866, is known as Winter Daydreams?

-Tchaikovsky.

-Under a law of 2001,

speed cameras in Britain have to be placed in a prominent position and painted what colour?

-Yellow.

-In Greek mythology,

who was made to fall in love with his own reflection

for rejecting the love of the nymph Echo?

Oh! Not Icarus...

Narcissus. Which 1982 film starred Harrison Ford

as a retired assassin of rogue androids,

brought back into service to kill a group of physically superior beings?

-No idea. Pass.

-Which greedy boy is the most famous pupil

of the fictional Greyfriars School?

-Billy Bunter.

-What slang name was given to shoes

with elongated, pointed toes, fashionable during the early '60s?

-Winkle-Pickers.

-Which 2012 Olympic Gold medallist was born in Sheffield,

the daughter of a painter and decorator and a social worker from Derbyshire?

-Jessica Ennis.

-Who became the Queen of Scotland in December 1542,

when she was only six days old?

-Mary.

-Yes, Mary, Queen of Scots.

Police officers are nicknamed bobbies after which British Conservative Prime Minister

who, as Home Secretary, carried through the Metropolitan Police Act of 1829?

-Robert Peel.

-What were you told not to forget in a '90s gameshow

hosted by Chris Evans where any member of the studio audience could win a dream holiday?

-Toothbrush.

-Which city is traditionally regarded

as the eastern terminus of the Trans-Siberian railway,

although a branch does run on to the port of Nakhodka?

-Istanbul.

-Vladivostok. The American singer Fats Domino

found his thrill on which hill?

-Blueberry!

-Yes! Cotswold, Border and North West

are forms of what traditional dance

that can incorporate items such as sticks or handkerchiefs?

-Morris.

-Which Indian-born author

-went into hiding, after a fatwa was issued against him in 1989?

-Salman...

He used the pseudonym Joseph Anton,

after his favourite writers, Joseph Conrad and Anton Chekhov.

BEEP

-You've already said it.

-Salman Rushdie.

-Absolutely right.

The one pass that you had, Blade Runner was that '82 film.

Doesn't matter, Ken, because you have a total of...26 points!

APPLAUSE

So he stormed away with it. Let's have a look at all of the scores.

In fourth place, 15 points, Paul Young.

Third place, 16 points, Sid Sloane.

Second place, 22 points - good score - Holly Walsh.

First place though, with 26 points, Ken Bruce.

APPLAUSE

Ken!

-Well done. Congratulations.

-Thank you.

So what are you going to do with it?

This will have pride of place in my home.

And I'll take it to work every single day and show it to Chris Evans.

-He'll be so eaten up with jealousy! That's a nice thought.

-Yeah, lovely.

Congratulations. Thank you all for watching Celebrity Mastermind.

Do join us again for more Celebrity Mastermind. Goodnight.

APPLAUSE

You don't have to be a celebrity to take part in the regular Mastermind programme.

So if you'd like to appear in the next series of Mastermind on BBC2,

then do visit us online at bbc.co.uk/mastermind.

APPLAUSE

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd