Episode 1 Celebrity Mastermind

The rush of adrenaline of being in the chair opposite John Humphrys

and that music playing is akin to something like a bungee jump.

This is going to be...

all different shades of terrifying, isn't it?

What I'm worried about is even though I know it,

I'm not going to be kicking myself afterward saying,

"Because I was so nervous, it went out of the window."

At this point, I am feeling as nervous as a bag of cats.

Four celebrities who claim to know everything there is to know

about their specialist subject.

Who will be crowned tonight's Celebrity Mastermind?

THEME MUSIC PLAYS

First in the spotlight tonight

is the BBC Radio 6 Music presenter, Shaun Keaveny.

He's answering questions on Led Zeppelin.

Next, the comedian Mark Watson.

His specialist subject - The Canterbury Tales.

The Antiques Roadshow expert, Bunny Campione,

will be answering questions on the film star, Stewart Granger.

And the writer Frank Cottrell Boyce and his subject,

the animator Oliver Postgate.

APPLAUSE

Hello, I'm John Humphrys and welcome to Celebrity Mastermind,

the show where they risk their reputations

and all they stand to gain is a glass trophy

and the admittedly huge honour

of winning the Celebrity Mastermind title.

They get a minute and a half

of questions on their specialist subject

and two minutes on their general knowledge.

So let's ask our first contender to join us, please.

And your name is...?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

Led Zeppelin in 90 seconds. Starting now.

Who was Led Zeppelin's founder and lead guitarist

who developed the unusual technique

of sometimes playing solos using a violin bow?

Jimmy Page.

Which classic eight-minute song on their fourth album,

is widely regarded as the group's anthem

and a landmark in rock history?

Stairway To Heaven.

Led Zeppelin's first concert appearance in America

was supporting Vanilla Fudge

in December 1968 in which Colorado city?

Denver.

The tracks You Shook Me and I Can't Quit You Baby,

on Led Zeppelin's debut album,

were both written by which American blues singer-songwriter?

Willie Dixon.

Living Loving Maid was the B-side

to which well-known Led Zeppelin song,

released as a single in the US in 1969

where it reached number four?

Whole Lotta Love.

Which '75 Led Zeppelin album

was the first to be released on their own Swan Song record label

and went on to top the charts in both America and the UK?

Physical Graffiti.

The track Bron-Y-Aur Stomp,

named after a holiday cottage in Wales,

is a tribute to the dog, Strider,

who belonged to which member of the band?

Robert Plant.

Jimmy Page developed the tune for The Battle Of Evermore

on the Led Zeppelin IV album while sitting around the fire with Robert Plant

and experimenting on which stringed instrument for the first time?

Mandolin.

On their seventh album, Presence,

the drummer, John Bonham, and the bassist, John Paul Jones,

have a co-writing credit on which song, named after a hotel in Louisiana?

Royal Orleans.

Which Led Zeppelin song from the Physical Graffiti album

contains the lyrics "Oh, pilot of the storm

"who leaves no trace, like thoughts inside a dream?"

Kashmir.

At which major outdoor festival venue in Hertfordshire

did Led Zeppelin top the bill on the 4th and 11th of August 1979...

BEEP

..while promoting their album, In Through The Out Door?

Knebworth.

..is correct. No passes.

A perfect round, Shaun, you got 11 points.

APPLAUSE

Not a bad start. Our next contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

The Canterbury Tales in 90 seconds.

What's the title of the first tale

that Chaucer himself tries to tell?

He's interrupted by the Host, who says,

"Namoore of this, for Goddes dignitee!"

The Tale Of Sir Thopas.

In The Summoner's Tale, when the Friar describes his sermons

to Thomas the householder, what word does he use for his interpretation

of the Scriptures, which he describes as "a glorious thing"?

Pass.

What affectation in his speech does the Friar, Hubert, adopt

to make his English "Sweet upon his tongue"?

A lisp.

According to the General Prologue to the Canterbury Tales,

what sport does the Monk love?

Hunting.

Whose tale, about an apprentice known as Perkin the Reveller,

breaks off abruptly, soon after it is begun?

The Cook's.

The Reeve's Tale, about a dishonest miller,

is set in a village near Cambridge. What's it called?

Trumpington.

In the Wife Of Bath's Tale, the old woman

says that the answer to the question,

"What do women want more than anything in the world?" is what?

Sovereignty.

Well, yes, to be in charge of their husbands and lovers, yeah.

Who joins the pilgrims, with his master, after the Second Nun's Tale

and tells them about his master's experiments with alchemy?

The Canon's Yeoman.

In the introduction to the Man of Law's Tale

the Host calculates the time of day by the length of the shadows -

what time does he say it is?

-Nine o'clock?

-Ten of the clock.

In the Merchant's Tale, an old man wants to marry a young woman.

she's called May, what month of the year is he named after?

January.

In the prologue to the Cook's Tale,

the name of the host of the inn is revealed. What is it?

Harry Bailey.

In the Manciple's Tale, what is the first thing that the white crow

says to Phoebus after his wife has been unfaithful in his absence?

Cuckoo.

In the Miller's Tale, what is the name of John the carpenter's

beautiful 18-year-old wife?

Alison.

-What letter of the alphabet, with a crown above it...

-BEEP

..does the Prioress have on the gold brooch she is wearing?

A.

The letter A is exactly right.

You had one pass, Mark.

The word the Friar uses for his interpretations

of the Scriptures - "glossing".

Ah.

Mark, you have a total of 12 points.

APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

Stewart Granger.

90 seconds starting now.

In 1935, the British actor Stewart Granger

made his stage debut with a repertory theatre, earning £3 a week

in which Yorkshire city?

Hull.

After the success of his first American film, King Solomon's Mines,

he signed a seven-year contract with which studio?

MGM.

In which theatre did he make his London stage debut

in 1938 in the play The Sun Never Sets?

-The Theatre Royal?

-Yeah, Drury Lane Theatre.

In Adam And Evelyne, to which exclusive school does Adam Black

send Evelyne, having promised her late father he would look after her?

-A Swiss school.

-No, Ecole Alsacienne.

Granger played the title role in the '54 film Beau Brummell.

Who played the Prince of Wales?

Peter Ustinov.

With which regiment did Granger serve in the Second World War

before gaining a commission in the Black Watch?

Um, the Gordon Highlanders.

Which 1953 film, directed by George Sidney,

was the second to co-star Granger and his second wife, Jean Simmons?

Um...

Young Bess.

Towards the end of The Prisoner Of Zenda,

King Rudolf apologises to a loyal officer

for having struck him on the night before the Coronation.

What was the officer's name?

Um...

Pass.

In which '52 swashbuckler does Granger

have a duelling scene all round a theatre?

It lasts 6.5 minutes.

Scaramouche.

Which American tycoon was successfully sued by Granger

and Jean Simmons after he bought out Simmons' contract against her wishes?

Howard Hughes.

In Footsteps In The Fog, Lily's brother-in-law, Herbert,

mistakes the barrister David MacDonald for the murderer, Lowry.

How much money does he try to blackmail him for?

BEEP

-£100?

-No, it was £500.

He was a bit greedy, I think, probably.

You had one pass. In the Prisoner Of Zenda,

Rudolf struck Colonel Sapt.

You had one pass, Bunny.

You have scored eight points.

APPLAUSE

and our final contender, please.

And your name is?

Your chosen charity?

And your chosen subject?

Oliver Postgate. In 90 seconds.

Postgate had his first major

television success in 1959

with an animated series about a small, Welsh steam train.

What was it called?

Ivor The Engine.

Postgate created most of his popular children's television programmes

in collaboration with an artist and puppet maker, who was...?

Peter Firmin.

Postgate and Firmin started their own independent production company

in the '50s to develop their ideas. What was it called?

Smallfilms.

What musical instruments were used to make the speech sounds

for Postgate's cartoon characters The Clangers?

Kazoos and swannee whistles.

In the mid-1980s, Postgate developed Tottie - The Story Of A Doll's House'

into a television series.

Which novelist was the author of the stories?

Rumer Godden.

A Smallfilms production about an old, saggy, cloth cat

owned by a girl called Emily,

topped a 1999 BBC poll of all-time favourite children's shows.

What was it called?

Bagpuss.

After the war, Postgate spent time in Germany,

working with the Save The Children fund,

but returned in 1947 and went to which drama school?

LAMBDA.

Smallfilms' first series using 3D stop-motion puppet animation

was made in the early '60s and featured a family of knitted animals.

What was it called?

Pingwings.

The animation for the television series,

The Saga Of Noggin The Nog, was inspired by an exhibit

Postgate had seen at the British Museum.

What exhibit was it?

The Lewis chessmen.

Postgate collaborated with Naomi Linnell to produce a book

subtitled "The Triumphant Failure" about which explorer?

Christopher Columbus.

Postgate's 1958 series, The Journey Of Master Ho,

was made specifically for children with what disability?

Deafness.

Whom did Postgate marry in November 1957?

He became stepfather to her three children.

Prue Myers.

-Postgate's first children's television series...

-BEEP

..went out live in 1958 and was about a mouse born to be king.

What was his name?

-Alexander.

-It WAS Alexander.

Which means that you, too, have a perfect round.

No passes, you got them all right and you have now 13 points.

APPLAUSE

Well, a very high-scoring round there.

Let's have a look at all of the scores.

In fourth place, with eight points, Bunny Campione.

Third place, 11 points, Shaun Keaveny.

Second place, 12 points, Mark Watson.

In the lead - just - 13 points, Frank Cottrell Boyce.

APPLAUSE

So it's the general knowledge round now,

and if the scores are level at the end of this round,

then the person with the fewer passes will be the winner.

Let's get on with it and ask Bunny

to join us again if she would, please.

And, obviously, we know you very, very well from Antiques Roadshow.

When you look at those things, how much of it is rubbish?

LAUGHTER

A lot. LAUGHTER

Well, it's bound to be, isn't it?

When you say, "A lot," do you mean 70%, 80%?

Well, it depends on which queue they're in.

Because Miscellaneous, which is what I do, as you can imagine,

I call myself "Miss Ellanneous" because it could be anything

and a lot of it is, um...

not great stuff and you have to find

a new way of letting someone down lightly

who's been queueing for hours.

Do you ever kind of follow it up? You know, when somebody...

When you say to somebody, "That's worth quite a lot of money..."

Very good point. In particular, there was a teddy bear

I saw in Northern Ireland at Mount Stewart

and a darling old man came over and he said,

"I've been told it is worth about £200,"

and I told him what it was and I said,

"What would you say if I put a nought on it?" And he said...

NORTHERN IRISH ACCENT: "Oh, will you take me home in a wheelchair?"

LAUGHTER

And that came up at an auction house in London

and, luckily, I went behind a pillar and watched the sale.

-What, to the actual auction?

-Yes! And I was...

SHE JUDDERS

..almost as bad as tonight and it stopped at 10,000

and then I thought, "Oh, my goodness, this is terrible."

-And then it went on and it went to 22,000.

-Wow.

So...phew!

Right, you have eight points.

Two minutes now of general knowledge.

Plenty of time to catch up and overtake. Here we go.

According to the Book of Genesis,

who did God create from one of Adam's ribs?

Pass.

What was a prairie schooner, used by American pioneers

to transport their possessions westward?

Pass.

The English variety of which herb

is cultivated widely for its essential oil

and for its narrow, fragrant leaves

and spikes of purple flowers that are dried and used in sachets?

-Rosemary?

-Lavender.

Who starred opposite Penelope Keith as Richard DeVere,

a self-made millionaire grocer

in the television series To The Manor Born?

Pass.

Which mythical bird, thought to be a cross

between the Eagle of St John and a cormorant,

has become the symbol of a Northern English city?

Pass.

Which 16th-century Scottish author

wrote the poem To A Louse, which has the subtitle

On Seeing One On A Lady's Bonnet, At Church?

Pass.

What do you traditionally throw over your left shoulder

for luck if you happen to spill some?

Salt.

Which fashion magazine was first published

in America in 1892 and in Britain in 1916?

Vogue?

Which member of Queen has a guitar that he and his father

carved out of wood from an old fireplace surround?

Pass.

In 79 AD, the eruption of a volcano

destroyed the Roman cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum.

What is the volcano called?

Vesuvius.

What light, fluffy, baked dish,

made by adding stiffly-beaten egg whites to yolks

and other ingredients, has a French name meaning "puffed up"?

Souffle.

What term was coined in the 1990s to describe

light fiction aimed at young women?

It's often about romance, infidelity and body image.

Pass.

In 2009, who succeeded Sir Terry Wogan as the host

of the UK's Eurovision Song Contest?

Pass.

Which road bridge that connects Lincolnshire with East Yorkshire

near Hull was, for many years,

the world's longest suspension bridge?

Pass.

In which soothing cream or lotion

is the effective ingredient a zinc compound,

tinted pink with ferric oxide?

Pass.

What was the nickname of the producer of the Bond films,

Albert R Broccoli, who died in June 1996?

Cubby.

-In 1989...

-BEEP

..the underwater explorer Robert Ballard found

the wreck of a German battleship lying at the bottom of the Atlantic

some 600 miles west of the French port of Brest.

What was the battleship called?

Um...

I can tell you.

The Mary Rose? No.

-No, it was the Bismarck.

-Oh.

And your other passes.

That soothing cream is calamine lotion.

It's the Humber Bridge that connects Lincolnshire with East Yorkshire.

Graham Norton took over from Terry Wogan.

Chick lit is the light, soppy fiction.

Brian May was the Queen guitarist.

Rabbie Burns' To A Louse.

The liver bird is the mythical bird.

Peter Bowles starred opposite Penelope Keith

in To The Manor Born.

A prairie schooner is a covered wagon or cart.

And God created, from one of Adam's ribs, Eve.

Oh! LAUGHTER

I know. The brain goes zonk, doesn't it?

Anyway, Bunny, you have 13 points.

APPLAUSE

And now Sean again, please.

Now we have something in common, I suppose.

-We both do a breakfast show, but you've got music in yours.

-Yeah.

I don't know if that makes it more difficult or easy, really.

-A lot easier, I think.

-Do you reckon?

-Yes.

When you play all these tracks...

do you have to enjoy them yourself?

If you don't enjoy them, if you think they're rubbish,

are you allowed to say, "That was a load of old..."?

We are lucky...

On 6 Music we're lucky because we really enjoy the music we play.

-That sounds like a party line now, doesn't it?

-It does a bit.

But it isn't. I mean, every so often you do...

cos it's not just for me. It's not a specialist programme,

so it's a bit more general than some of the specialist shows.

But it's nearly all gold. It's brilliant.

I suggest everybody listens. LAUGHTER

In and out between the Today programme, obviously.

We might have a disagreement about that just a little bit.

-Sean, you've got 11 points...

-Yes.

..and everything to play for now cos they're all high scores.

Here we go. Two minutes of general knowledge.

Which television detective

played by Telly Savalas sucked lollipops

and had the catch phrase "who loves ya, baby"?

-Kojak.

-Which English author wrote stories about six honest servicemen

called What, Why, When, How, Where and Who?

-Pass.

-What statement of English liberties, first issued in 1215,

underwent revisions in 1216, 1217 and 1225?

-Magna Carta.

-Little, long eared and tawny

are species of which bird native to Britain?

-Owl.

-Brad Pitt tore a tendon in his leg during the making of the 2004

film Troy. Which aptly named character did he play in the film?

-Achilles.

-Which early '60s worldwide dance craze,

performed by swivelling the hips, was popularised by Chubby Checker?

-The twist.

-What was the original purpose

of the Parisian building that since

1986 has housed the Musee d'Orsay,

where many Impressionist paintings are on display?

-A cafe.

-A railway station.

The Ebro and the Guadalquivir are major rivers in which European country?

-Portugal.

-Spain.

Which role played by Anne Bancroft in the film version of The Graduate

was first performed on the London stage by Kathleen Turner in 2000?

-Pass.

-What was the nationality of Roald Amundsen,

who raised his country's flag at the South Pole in December, 1911,

a month before Scott and his team got there?

-Norwegian.

-On which BBC television show do aspiring entrepreneurs

compete for the chance to win £250,000 investment

in a partnership with Lord Sugar?

-The Apprentice.

-How many times did Red Rum win the Grand National?

-Three.

-The Emperor Fountain,

build in 1844, shoots a jet of water over 250 feet in the air.

In the grounds of which stately home in Derbyshire can it be found?

-Pass.

-The trachea is the medical name for which part of the human body?

-The windpipe.

-The Rats, published in 1974,

was the first novel by an English

horror writer who died in 2013. Who was he?

-Ray Bradbury.

-James Herbert.

In an American restaurant, what term is often used for the dish

containing both seafood and meat, typically shellfish and steak?

-Surf and turf.

-Whom did Princess Anne marry at Westminster Abbey

on the 14th of November, 1973? They divorced in '92.

Peter Townsend.

Mark Phillips.

BEEP

..it is a waste of time to carry coals to...?

-Newcastle.

-Indeed.

Three passes, Sean.

Chatsworth House is where that fountain goes zoom.

-Mrs Robinson.

-Oh, yeah.

And What, Why, When, Where, How, Who and all that -

-that was Rudyard Kipling.

-Oh, yeah.

-But, Sean, you got 22 points.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

And now, let's have Mark again, please.

-And...you took The Canterbury Tales as your subject.

-Yes.

Why? I mean, why not? But...

I've been wondering that for about the past six weeks. I...

I thought I could do The Canterbury Tales

because I studied it at university,

but over the course of the quiz I remembered just how long ago

I was at university. It's incredible how much of your entire degree

-subject you can forget.

-Well, there's a lot in The Canterbury Tales.

Yes, that's another thing I learned quite early in the reading process.

They're very long. But I think there is a joy in connecting with

literature that is written so long ago.

You think it would be impossible to find anything in common

with them, something that's 600 years old, I get a buzz out of that.

Having said that, I'm really pleased I won't be reading them

-again for a long time.

-I was about to ask you,

are you going to pick up a copy on your way home tonight?

I think I might read something else for a bit.

Right, Mark, you've got 12.

Let's see how you do. Two minutes, starting now.

What term is used for well-developed abdominal muscles

because they are resemble a set of beer cans?

-Six pack.

-Dame Edna Everage, who used to throw gladioli

at members of the audience, is the alter ego of?

-Barry Humphries.

-The Shire is one of the largest breeds of which animal?

-Horse.

-About which film did the author Joanna Farrow write,

"It couldn't be more historically inaccurate if a Plasticine

"dog had been added and it had been called William Wallace and Gromit"?

-Er...Braveheart.

-Which English city claims

to have more miles of canals than Venice?

Birmingham.

During a Downing Street photoshoot to celebrate

the British and Irish Lions victory over Australia in 2013,

the rugby player Manu Tuilagi used his fingers to give bunny ears to...

David Cameron.

Which mountain range is the supposed home of the yeti

or the abominable snowman?

Oh, the...Himalayas.

What dish, a Swiss speciality,

consists of melted cheese mixed with wine and other flavours?

Fondue.

Ian Curtis was the lead singer with which Manchester band?

The title of their biggest hit, Love Will Tear Us Apart,

is carved on his memorial stone.

Joy Division.

What was the nationality of 19th-century novelists Ivan Turgenev and Nikolai Gogol?

Russian.

Which athletic track event raced at the Olympics over

a distance of 3,000m incorporates hurdles and a water jump?

Steeplechase.

Which chapel in the Vatican Palace was built in 1473 by the architect

Giovanni dei Dolci for Pope Sixtus IV, after whom it is named?

Sistine Chapel.

Which film star's autobiography

is called "What's It All About?",

taken from the opening lyric of a song

written by Bacharach and David for the film Alfie?

Michael Caine.

What name is traditionally used for

-a dealer in candles and soap?

-Pass.

The theme song of which TV comedy series starring

Richard Wilson and Annette Crosbie was sung by Eric Idle?

One Foot In The Grave.

What famous New York landmark is formally referred to

-as Liberty Enlightening The World?

-The Statue of Liberty.

In Lewis Carroll's novel Through The Looking Glass,

what did the White Queen tell Alice could be had tomorrow

and yesterday but never today?

Jam.

BEEP

Which instrument used widely in jazz and dance bands is named

after the Belgian instrument maker who patented it in 1846?

-Saxophone.

-Correct.

Wow. You had one pass, the name traditionally

used for a dealer in candles and soap is a chandler.

Would not have got that. Didn't get it!

LAUGHTER

That's undeniably true, but you got everything else,

and you've now got a total of 29 points!

APPLAUSE

Oh, boy. Frank, if you feel up to it,

come and join us again, please.

Absolutely.

That is not the one you want to follow. Wow.

LAUGHTER

You've done an awful lot of things, but the thing you're going to

be remembered for, for ever and ever and ever, is the Olympic ceremony.

What was it like when they said to you, "Will you write it?"

-It wasn't they, it was Danny.

-Just Danny Boyle?

Yes, he asked me out for a cup of tea and he said,

he was going to do the Olympics and would I like to join him,

and I thought he was talking about a sports movie.

It took me about an hour to figure out that he was actually

-talking about the Olympics' opening ceremony.

-Really? And you said?

-Yes, instantly.

-Without even thinking about it?

Yes, it was only when I got home I thought, "What have I said yes to?"

I rang him up and I said, "What does it actually involve?"

He said, "I have no idea."

Honestly?

So, you... How did it work? He had the... You don't know?

He had the idea, obviously,

the overall idea for the theme of the thing, I suppose,

and he said to you, "Put words to it," or was it more collaborative?

It was not about words, he had a small team,

he had a brilliant designer called Mark Tildesley, Suttirat Larlarb

and myself, Rick Smith - who did the music.

There were five of us.

He put together the team he would have put together to make

a movie, because that is how he knew what to do.

I remember you telling me about the Queen and her part in it.

That is what I meant about it being organic.

Mark had this idea we could fake up the Queen jumping

out of a helicopter, and we called Buckingham Palace and we asked,

"Could we represent the Queen in that way?

"Could we know what she was wearing on the day?"

When the message came back, it was, "That's absolutely fine,

"and she is available for filming on the following dates."

-We were like...

-What?!

-.."That's not what we meant!"

LAUGHTER

Right. Here we go.

13 points,

29 is the score to beat. 2 minutes.

The Russian spacecraft Luna 2, launched September 1959,

became the first man-made object to land where?

On the moon.

What do the initials HD stand for in the digital TV broadcasting

system that offers a better picture than a standard system?

High definition.

The puffling is the young of which sea bird,

distinguished by its large, brightly-coloured triangular beak?

A puffin.

Olympus is the highest mountain in which mainland European country?

Greece.

Which film starring Julia Roberts and

Richard Gere shares its title with a Roy Orbison song?

Pretty Woman.

The novel A Parliamentary Affair was written by a former MP.

One critic said, "Anyone supposing it's the usual kill-an-hour-on-the-beach

"codswallop had best think again - it's much, much worse." Who wrote the novel?

-Jeffrey Archer?

-Edwina Currie.

Which motor racing circuit alternated with Silverstone

as the British Grand Prix location between 1964 and '87?

Brooklands?

Brands Hatch. What were the military expeditions launched by western Christians

beginning in the late 11th century, to retake Jerusalem and the Holy Land?

The Crusades.

Which English composer appeared on £20 notes for several years,

partly because his bristling moustache was

difficult for counterfeiters to reproduce?

Elgar.

What fiery sauce that shares its name with a Mexican state is

made from a kind of chilli pepper with spirit, vinegar and salt?

Tabasco.

In which Shakespeare play does the moneylender Shylock demand a pound of flesh?

The Merchant Of Venice.

Which Scottish city lies between the mouths of the Dee and the Don?

-Edinburgh?

-Aberdeen.

Whose Radio 2 afternoon show includes the items Ask Elvis

and Non-Stop Oldies chosen by a listener?

Pass.

Which Bob Dylan song opens with the lines

"Come gather round people, wherever you roam

"And admit that the waters around you have grown"?

The Times They Are A-Changin'.

In which American city is there a district known as Foggy Bottom?

-Tennessee?

-Washington, DC.

In which winter sport does a four-man team consist of a brakeman,

a pilot and two crewmen or pushers?

-Toboggan.

-Bobsleigh.

Which actress's five husbands include the singer and songwriter

Anthony Newley and the Swedish pop star Peter Holm?

-Elizabeth Taylor?

-Joan Collins, close.

Which of the English romantic poets wrote Ode To A Nightingale?

Keats.

-BEEP

-The world championship

for throwing an electronic device

has been held annually since 2000 in Savonlinna, Finland,

a country noted for the device's manufacture. What was it, or is it?

-A mobile phone.

-Mobile phone is of course correct.

And that one you passed on,

-the Radio 2 afternoon show - Steve Wright.

-Oh, God...

Yes, I know.

-You nearly got there though, Frank - 25 points.

-Oh.

APPLAUSE

What a great contest. Let's have a look at the scores.

In fourth place, 13 points, Bunny Campione.

Third place, 22 points, Shaun Keaveny.

Second place, usually a guaranteed winner, 25 points,

Frank Cottrell Boyce.

In first place, 29 points - Mark Watson.

APPLAUSE

Mark, come and get it.

There we go. Congratulations.

Brilliant score. What are you going to do with the trophy?

Erm...I'll try and put it somewhere in the house where it doesn't look like I'm showing off,

but people will nonetheless see it.

-Yes.

-Perhaps I could answer the door holding it.

-Wear it on your head.

-Yeah.

-We'll arrange a little thing for you.

That would be great - if I could have a hat with it.

-No problem, consider it done.

-Thanks very much.

Now, you don't have to be a celebrity to take part in the regular Mastermind programme

so if you'd like to appear in the next series on BBC Two

then do visit us online:

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