Episode 5 Celebrity Mastermind

Why would you go on national television

to try to be clever? Not a good move, really.

Imagine dropping out in a rap, "I won Celebrity Mastermind."

It's not going to happen, though.

I'm split down the middle between absolute raw fear

and, er...a kind of terrible overconfidence.

Yeah, I'm very competitive.

I pretend not to be, but I'll be gutted if I don't win.

Four celebrities who hope they know everything there is to know about their specialist subject.

Who will be crowned tonight's Celebrity Mastermind?

First in the spotlight tonight is the writer and star of Citizen Khan,

Adil Ray. He's answering questions on another sitcom, Fawlty Towers.

Next, Dr Mark Porter. His specialist subject, the Porsche 911.

The comedian Kevin Eldon will be answering questions

on the music of the Beatles.

And the rapper Jordan Stevens from Rizzle Kicks, and his subject

is the acclaimed palaeontologist Ross Geller from Friends.

APPLAUSE

Hello. I'm John Humphrys, and welcome to Celebrity Mastermind.

Almost exactly the same as the ordinary one,

but not quite. They are not quizzers.

The rules are the same, though.

One set of questions on their specialist subject

and another on their general knowledge.

The prize is beyond mere monetary value -

a trophy and the honour of forever being able to claim

they were a Celebrity Mastermind champion.

So, let's ask our first contender to join us, please.

You may not love it so much in a moment.

THEY LAUGH

-Your name is?

-Adil Ray.

-Your chosen charity?

-Is Myeloma UK.

-And your chosen subject.

-Fawlty Towers.

Fawlty Towers. You have 90 seconds, starting now.

Fawlty Towers ran for 12 episodes in the 1970s.

In the episode Gourmet Night Basil gives a "damn good thrashing"

with a tree branch to?

-His car.

-While Basil is concussed

and trying not to mention the war, he takes The Germans' lunch order.

They ask for a prawn cocktail, a pickled herring

and four cold meat salads but he reads it back

as "a prawn Goebbels, a Herman Goering" and what type of salad?

Er...cheese.

Colditz! In A Touch of Class, Sybil complains about the racket

that Basil is listening to.

He tells her that it is which composer's Third Racket?

Brahms.

Which well-known actor plays Dr Price,

who spends an entire episode trying to get some sausages to eat?

Geoffrey Palmer.

In The Builders, Basil phones Manuel and instructs him

to tell one of O'Reilly's men that he is a hideous what?

-Orang-utan.

-Orang-utan. Manuel's pet "filigree Siberian hamster",

is actually a rat. When Basil finds it, he asks Manuel

if he's ever heard of which disease?

-Pass.

-When Polly refuses to impersonate Sybil

and tells him to do it himself, Basil threatens to ruin her

and says that she'll never do what again?

Er...appear in a Marx Brothers movie. No.

Close! Waitress in Torquay.

In Waldorf Salad, Basil describes an author's work

as "trans-Atlantic tripe". He then pretends he meant someone else

when Mr Hamilton says that he and his wife also like his work. Which author is it?

Harold Robbins.

In the episode The Wedding Party,

when Basil tells Polly that he wants to see her at reception

in her hat and coat, what is her reply?

-No!

-No, "Will they fit you?"

When Miss Tibbs tells Basil about the psychiatrist

staying in the hotel, Miss Gatsby asks if he has come for

one of the guests. Which one?

BEEP The Major.

The Major is correct.

You had one pass, Adil.

Manuel was asked if he'd ever heard of bubonic plague.

-Of course, of course!

-Anyway, you have 6 points.

Thank you very much. APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

Right.

-And your name is?

-Mark Porter.

-Your chosen charity?

-Meningitis Now.

-Your chosen subject?

-The history of the Porsche 911.

Porsche 911. 90 seconds, here we go.

The Porsche 911 was introduced at which motor show in 1963?

-Frankfurt.

-Correct. Each generation of the 911 is identified

by an internal type number starting with nine.

Porsche made a fundamental change to the car's engine design

when the 996 model was introduced in the late 1990s.

What was it?

Became water-cooled.

Who was appointed CEO at Porsche in 1981

and ensured that development and production of the 911 continued?

Peter Schutz.

What was the internal type number

of the first Porsche Turbo, that went on the market in 1975?

930.

Porsche had to change the car's name from 901 to 911

because another manufacturer had exclusive rights to name

its cars with three-digit numbers that had a zero in the middle.

-Which manufacturer was that?

-Peugeot.

-Yes.

The 911's debut in international motorsport was in 1965,

when Peter Falk and Herbert Linge finished fifth in which event?

Monte Carlo Rally.

In the early '80s,

Porsche produced a special edition of the 930 Turbo

with a modified front end that was referred to as the "flat nose"

or "slant nose". What German name was it known by?

Er, Flachbau.

Flachbau, yep. In 2010, the 911 GT3 Hybrid

made its racing debut at which 24-hour race?

It was leading until near the end when it had engine problems.

Le Mans.

No, Nurburgring.

Which Hong-Kong-born designer was responsible for the styling

of the 996 which was introduced in the late '90s?

Pinky Lai.

From 1990, the 964 Carrera 2

was available with an automatic transmission that could also

-be operated manually.

-BEEP

What name was given to the new gearbox?

Tiptronic.

Tiptronic is absolutely right.

-No passes, Mark, you have 9 points.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

-And your name is?

-Kevin Eldon.

-Your chosen charity?

-North London Action for the Homeless.

-And your chosen subject?

-The music of the Beatles.

The Beatles' music, in 90 seconds, here we go.

Which Beatles song was inspired by Lennon's childhood recollections

of playing in the grounds of a Salvation Army Children's Home?

-Strawberry Fields.

-Which song was written by Paul McCartney

after his late mother Mary appeared to him in a dream,

telling him not to get so worked up about things?

-Let It Be.

-Which author's work

was the inspiration for the title character of John Lennon's

I Am the Walrus on The Beatles' Magical Mystery Tour EP?

Lewis Carroll.

A song that features in the film Help! begins

"Here I stand, head in hand". What is the song?

-You've Got To Hide Your Love Away.

-John Lennon drew inspiration

for the song Tomorrow Never Knows

from reading a Buddhist guide to the afterlife. What's it called?

The Tibetan Book Of The Dead.

Which Beatles song, first released on Rubber Soul,

has the subtitle This Bird Has Flown, its original working title?

Norwegian Wood.

Which McCartney song was the title track of an EP issued in February 1964?

The other songs Ask Me Why, PS I Love You and Money.

Love Me Do.

All My Loving. Which legendary producer was brought in

to remix the Beatles 1970 Let It Be album?

Phil Spector.

Which George Harrison composition

on Let It Be was the last track to be recorded by the Beatles?

I, Me, Mine.

On which UK Beatles album did the songs

For No-one, I'm Only Sleeping and Taxman first appear?

Revolver.

Desmond and Molly Jones have a "couple of kids running in the yard" in which song?

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.

Which 1967 single topped the UK Charts for seven weeks and gave

the Beatles their fourth and last Christmas Number One single?

Lady Madonna.

Hello Goodbye.

Which session musician played electric piano on the Let it Be

album and received a recording credit on the single Get Back?

BEEP Billy Preston.

Billy Preston is exactly right.

No passes. You have, Kevin, 11 points.

APPLAUSE

And our final contender, please.

-And your name is?

-Jordan Stephens.

-Your chosen charity?

-Audioactive.

-And your chosen subject?

-The life and times of Ross Geller.

In 90 seconds, starting now.

Ross Geller is a character from the American sitcom Friends.

In the episode The One With The Blackout when Ross is on the balcony with Rachel

what stops him declaring his feelings for her?

A cat.

Yeah, he's attacked by one.

Ross comes dressed as a potato with antennae

in The One With The Halloween Party. Who does he say he has come as?

Spudnik.

In The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance,

how does Ross overcome his nerves

when he delivers his first lectures at New York University?

Puts on a British accent.

Yeah. A dreadful one.

While Ross is berating Rachel about her fear of swings,

in The One With The Home Study,

she reveals that he has an irrational fear of what?

Spiders.

In The One Where Emma Cries, Ross breaks his thumb.

What occupation does Joey write on Ross's hospital form?

Dinosaurs.

What mishap befalls Ross

when he goes to an ice hockey game with Joey and Chandler

in The One With George Stephanopoulos?

He gets hit with a puck.

In The One After Vegas, when Ross and Rachel wake up the morning

after their drunken night, what is written on Ross's back?

"Just Married."

In The One with a Chick and a Duck,

what special opportunity does Ross miss

in order to help Rachel who has a broken rib?

Appear on the Discovery Channel.

Ross plays his unique brand of music to Phoebe

and his other bemused friends

in The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line.

What name does he give to his individual sound?

-Pass.

-In The One Where Joey Dates Rachel, how does Ross finally solve

the problem of travelling between two classrooms

that are a long distance apart?

Roller blades.

When Ross and Rachel describe

their fictitious wedding in The One In Massapequa, which flowers

does Ross say he used to fill the Planetarium when he proposed?

-Lotus.

-Lilies!

-BEEP

You were close, though! You had one pass.

That name that he gave to his individual sound -

-"wordless sound poem".

-Right. Yeah.

Exactly.

Jordan, you have 9 points.

APPLAUSE

Well, a good close round there. Let's have a look at all the scores.

In fourth place, 6 points, Adil Ray.

Joint second place, 9 points apiece,

Mark Porter and Jordan Stephens.

In the lead, just, 11 points -

Kevin Eldon.

APPLAUSE

So it's the general knowledge round now, and if the scores are level

at the end of it, then the person with the fewer passes is the winner.

Let's get on with it and ask Adil to join us again, please.

And...

I enjoy going first, John, that's why...

It was noble of you to volunteer.

Someone's got to.

Interesting combination of jobs that you've had.

I mean, journalist, some really serious stuff,

and actor and writer of a sitcom?

-How do you square the two?

-It's called blagging, actually.

No, you know, I'm quite lucky to be able to vary my work a little bit,

and I have sort of an idea that if you really want to do something

-you should go for it.

-But what do you want to do? You don't seem to know!

Have you been speaking to my mum?!

I think comedy was always the dream.

I always wanted to be a part of a comedy.

I never thought I'd be creating my own sitcom

so soon in my comedy career, but it's great!

Do people recognise you?

Er, only when I do the throat-clear, sometimes.

-Go on, do it.

-You have to do it with me, though, John.

-Ah.

-Come on. I'll only do it if you do it.

-Tell me what to do.

OK. Just listen. RASPS

-No!

-Come on!

You promised!

-You've just done it!

-You promised!

-I never did.

-BBC Values, come on.

-I am a journalist, all right?

-Enough said. I'm not going to go...

-RASPS

LAUGHTER

You'd never do that.

Right. Look, Adil, you got points.

-I know.

-So you've got a bit of ground to make up.

I don't want to intimidate you, but it could be very humiliating.

LAUGHTER

Could be?! It already is!

Here we go. Starting now.

Sandy Dumbrowski and Danny Zuko

are the leading characters in which musical?

Grease.

Who became the world's most expensive footballer

when he left Tottenham Hotspur for Real Madrid in September 2013,

in a transfer said to be worth £85 million?

Gareth Bale.

What is the main non-alcoholic ingredient

of a Bloody Mary cocktail?

Tomato juice.

Who plays the struggling actor Andy Millman

in the TV series Extras?

Ricky Gervais.

What's the name of the independent state within Rome

that's ruled over by the Pope as the head of the Catholic Church?

The Vatican.

Who wrote the novel Filth, about a corrupt Edinburgh policeman

who'll stop at nothing to gain promotion, which has been adapted

into a film with James McAvoy in the leading role?

Irvine Welsh?

Which London bridge, opened in 1862 to replace an older one,

is painted green to match the seats of the nearby House of Commons?

Westminster?

The yellow and black beetle Clytus arietis

takes its common name from its striking resemblance

to what stinging insect?

Don't know. Bumblebee.

Wasp. Close! According to love letters published in 2000,

which American President addressed his wife as "Mommie Poo Pants"

and called himself "Daddie Poo Pants"?

Clinton?

-Ronald Reagan.

-Oh, sorry.

In July 2013, Lindsey Russell became the first presenter of which

children's television show to be selected by a poll of viewers?

Sorry, who?

-Lindsey Russell.

-Pass.

What is Australia's oldest and largest city?

Er, Melbourne.

Sydney. The pattern of dots used in newspapers to print images

provided the inspiration for a famous American artist who used them

in his pictures based on comic strips. What was his name?

-Pass.

-In Act II Scene II of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet,

Juliet describe parting as "such sweet" what?

Er, dreams?

Sorrow!

Angelo Mathews was appointed Test and One Day International Captain

of which country's cricket team in 2013?

I missed the name, I'm sorry.

Angelo Mathews.

Er, Sri Lanka.

Black and brown are species of a large carnivorous animal

whose male is a boar, the female a sow and the young a cub.

What is the animal?

Pig.

Bear. Which film-maker and pioneer of stop-motion animation...

BEEP

..who died in 2013, I'll finish the question...

-I keep on missing the questions!

-Well, listen!

-I'm trying to!

-All right.

-It's the voices inside my head saying, "You idiot!"

for getting the last one wrong!

-I can't hear you!

-And now you've wasted all the time

-and I can't give you another question.

-I know!

Can we start again?!

-No!

-Please?

-But look, I tell you what.

Because it's Celebrity Mastermind, I will give you that question again.

-All right.

-Cos you're not going to win anyway, frankly.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-Here we go. Are you ready for it?

-Yes.

Are you sure? Right. Here we go. Which film-maker and pioneer

of stop-motion animation who died in 2013

created visual effects for films including Clash Of The Titans,

Jason And The Argonauts and One Million Years BC?

-You're going to hate me. Pass. Sorry.

-I knew you'd do that.

Ray Harryhausen.

-It's entertainment, this show, right?

-One would like to think so.

It is now! Before you came, it was fairly serious, but there we are.

The other passes... That famous American artist

who used dots and things, Roy Lichtenstein.

And guess what, Lindsey Russell, Blue Peter.

-Right.

-Adil, you now have a total of - not bad - 14 points.

Thank you very much. APPLAUSE

And now Mark again, please.

And you start out with rather more this time, Mark.

9 points with your knowledge of...

Well, can I have some easier questions than that?

I didn't get any of those, hardly!

-Now, you're a GP, a proper GP.

-Half the week, yeah.

-Exactly.

And the problem with being a GP, so I'm told by GPs I know,

you walk round the supermarket and they stop you and say, "Oh, doctor,

"have the results of my test come in yet?" What do you say?

Well, you have to be courteous and everything,

but it's very difficult to give anyone a diagnosis.

They never actually...expose their frailties to you, do they?

-I'm trying to find a subtle way of putting this.

-No.

I think a lot of doctors will realise, when you meet Mrs Smith,

shall we call her, in the supermarket,

and she says, "It's much better, thanks, Doc!"

and you don't quite know,

you can't remember which bit of her body to look at...

"I'm very pleased to hear that, Mrs Smith."

Yes. Quite. Right. You have 9 points,

-and 14 is the rather pathetic score to beat at the moment.

-Right.

-I'll be happy with double figures.

-Sorry.

Happy with double figures. Well, there's a good chance of that.

Two minutes, general knowledge, starting now.

Which supposedly unsinkable ship sank after hitting an iceberg

in the Atlantic Ocean in April 1912?

Titanic.

In golf, what term is used

for a hole played in two strokes under par?

An eagle.

According to the New Testament, Jesus miraculously fed

5,000 people with small quantities of bread and...?

Fish.

What is the occupation of the character

played by David Hemmings in Blow Up, an iconic films of the 1960s?

Spaceman.

Photographer. The nuts of a tree used to be fed to horses

to cure them of breathing difficulties which is said to have

given rise to the tree's common name. What is it?

-Pass.

-After his so-called Blue Period,

Picasso began using lighter beige and pink tones.

What popular term is used for this phase of his career?

-Cubist.

-Rose period. In which novel by Richard Adams

do Hazel and Fiver lead a band of rabbits in search of a safer home?

Watership Down.

Yes. In 2003, which Conservative politician

reportedly said, "I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister

"as of being decapitated by a Frisbee or of finding Elvis"?

Er...John Major.

Boris Johnson. Which band, formed in 1968, consisted of

Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and John Bonham?

Led Zeppelin.

What was the name of the writer and Clerk of the Works

at the Palace of Westminster, who in 1400 was the first person

to be buried in what became known as Poets' Corner?

Thomas More.

Chaucer. In the theatre, the name of a plant is traditionally muttered

repeatedly to give the impression of background conversation.

Which plant?

Aspidistra.

Rhubarb, rhubarb...

Which invention, introduced in Britain in the early 1950s,

made making a cup of tea far less messy?

Teasmade.

Tea bags. The series of dynastic civil wars known as the Wars of the Roses

was fought between two houses, the House of York and...?

Lancaster.

Yes. In the television series Hi-De-Hi!

what was the name of the senior Yellowcoat

and Radio Maplin broadcaster played by Ruth Madoc?

-Pass.

-Which vast region of Asiatic Russia

has a name meaning "sleeping land" in the Tatar language?

Siberia.

Yes. The 13-digit number assigned to every book

before publication is known by what initials?

ISBN.

-Which instrument used in weather forecasting...

-BEEP

..was invented by Evangelista Torricelli in 1643?

The barometer.

Yes, it was indeed. The mercury barometer.

And you had two passes. Gladys was the name of

that senior Yellowcoat in Hi-De-Hi,

and, oh, the tree they fed horses things was a bit of a clue.

Go on, have another go at it now. We won't give you the score.

-Mare's breath.

-Horse chestnut.

-Horse chestnut.

-Clue's in the name.

Anyway, look, you wanted double figures,

-you got 18 points.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

And now Jordan again, please.

Now, you're a rapper, and you are Rizzle Kicks.

What you did at the start of your career was get on YouTube.

And you had a phenomenal number of hits.

Give us a clue of how big it was.

Oh, well, the first video we uploaded

now has like 14 million hits or something.

14 million. You threw that away as if it was just...

Yeah, I know! The maddest thing is,

we got signed to a record label from being on YouTube,

and I remember we had just got 100,000 hits on the video,

and the label said to us,

"All right, we're going to have to shoot a new video."

And I was like, "Nah, that's not happening."

We did another video, fortunately it was almost like an update,

and then, you know, I'm not really saying much now it's got 14 million.

They're like, "You were whinging about 100,000 - shut up."

-14 million is just ridiculous.

-I know.

About six million of them are people who don't even like the song.

LAUGHTER

Long gone are the days when to be a musician

you had to learn an instrument.

I think you can make an album, you can make an empire in your bedroom.

Yeah. Well, well done. 9 points, you have,

and you've got two minutes of general knowledge, starting now.

Which small insect-eating mammal, native to Britain,

curls into a protective ball when it senses danger?

Hedgehog.

In America, what can be served either sunny-side-up or over easy?

Eggs.

Who stars in the title role of Baz Luhrmann's

2013 film version of The Great Gatsby?

Leonardo DiCaprio.

Which short jacket with a gathered waistband

got its name because a similar garment was worn by air crews

during the Second World War?

-Pass.

-In football, who was called "the Wally with the Brolly"

as he sheltered from the rain during his last match in charge

of England, a 3-2 home defeat to Croatia in 2007?

Oh, er...

-Goran...

-Nope, Steve McClaren.

Which British graffiti artist, whose real identity is unknown,

has created works such as Mild Mild West

and the sculpture Ballerina with Action Man Parts?

Banksy.

Which Scottish mountain is the highest in the British Isles

at 1,343 metres?

-Aah, the tall one!

-Yeah!

LAUGHTER

That's my answer.

We'll take it as a pass.

Which Roald Dahl story has been made into

a West End stage musical that opened in 2013,

directed by the Academy Award winner Sam Mendes?

Danny Champion of the World?

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Obviously!

According to the words of Katie Melua's 2005 Top Ten hit

there are "nine million bicycles" in which Asian capital city?

Beijing.

Which Middle Eastern country is one of the world's three largest

producers of crude oil alongside Russia and the USA?

Dubai.

Saudi Arabia. The bone disease rickets is normally caused by a

deficiency of a vitamin, produced in the body by exposure to sunlight. Which vitamin?

-C?

-D.

-D! D!

What name is given to the graduated sequence of notes that an octave

is divided into? The name comes from the Italian for ladder.

Scale.

Which woodland is traditionally said to have been

the home of Robin Hood and his band of outlaws?

Oh, my God, no! Er...

Sherwood Forest!

Yes! Who followed in the footsteps of Sylvester McCoy

and David Tennant to be the third Scot to play the lead role

in Doctor Who when he was unveiled as the Doctor in August 2013?

-Oh, the guy from In The Loop, I know this!

-Yes...

Oh, God! No!

I'll take that as a pass.

BEEP

It's over now, you're out of your agony.

I'll help you along. P-E-T... Peter... Peter Cap...

Peter Capalabubsly!

Well, you wouldn't have got it, would you?

-Peter Capaldi.

-I knew that!

-Cos I was super-excited when he got it.

-Great actor.

Anyway, that's the one that you knew, and the other one,

you'll hate it even more - Ben Nevis.

Yeah, I know, but...

If you'd said it sounded like a normal human's name

then I probably would have got it.

We'll never know, will we?

And that short jacket and all that is a bomber jacket.

-Oh!

-Anyway, you now have a total of 16 points.

APPLAUSE

And Kevin again, please.

Right, Kevin. Now, you chose the Beatles music, so therefore...

They are heroes, and you did have the honour

of meeting Paul McCartney. That must have been quite a profound moment.

It was a very profound moment.

I got backstage, because a good friend of mine had a ticket,

and he had a spare one, and so we waited around, eating nibbles,

and then Mr McCartney came by...

-Sir Paul.

-Sir Paul came by,

and he said hello to my mate, and my mate said, "Oh, by the way, Paul,

"this is my mate Kev." And I'll never forget

-what Paul McCartney said to me.

-Go on.

"Hi, Kev!"

LAUGHTER

And?

-That was it?

-I'll never forget that.

-It's not difficult, really, is it?

-I suppose not.

But, you know, the words are etched in my heart. "Hi, Kev."

-It's great.

-But you can't really change the content, can you?

-Not really, no. I'll just have to work with what I've got.

-Yeah.

OK, 11 points, 18 is the score to beat. Here we go.

In the play by JM Barrie,

Captain Hook is the arch-enemy of which character?

-Peter Pan.

-The name of which Scottish festival

comes from the old Norman French for "a gift at the new year"?

Hogmanay.

What item of clothing is the "baggy green",

much revered by Australian cricket players?

-Er, pass.

-Graham Sutherland's huge tapestry

Christ in Glory in the Tetramorph was completed in 1962

to hang in an English cathedral that had been rebuilt

after it was destroyed during WWII. Which cathedral?

Coventry.

Which German breed of dog's sometimes called a sausage dog because of its long body?

Dachshund.

In a classic Monty Python television sketch,

what title was won by Gervaise Brook-Hampster,

with Vivian Smith-Smythe-Smith second

and Nigel Incubator-Jones third?

Upper Class Twit Of The Year.

Which New York borough gives its name to a cocktail

normally consisting of whisky, sweet vermouth

and angostura bitters?

Manhattan.

Which French-Canadian singer won the 1988 Eurovision Song Contest

for Switzerland with Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi?

Er...pass.

What is the name of Prince Charles' private residence

in Gloucestershire?

Langtree...?

Highgrove House. Which capital city at the foot of the Himalayas

was at the end of the so-called Hippie Trail?

It has a street nicknamed Freak Street where hippies gathered.

-Kathmandu.

-According to the title of John Gray's best-selling book,

Men Are From Mars; Women Are From...?

Venus.

Who plays Eliot Ness, the real-life crime-fighter

and nemesis of Al Capone, in the 1987 film The Untouchables?

-Eliot Gould.

-Kevin Costner!

The name of which flesh-eating dinosaur comes from the Greek

and Latin for tyrant lizard king?

Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Which former Conservative Chancellor of the Exchequer is the father

of the celebrated television cook and food writer Nigella?

Nigel Lawson.

Which literary character, on his famous Travels,

encountered scientists trying to extract sunbeams from cucumbers

and a war over the best way to eat a boiled egg?

Gulliver's.

What French word that originally meant a hood for a monk

is used for a lightweight type of waterproof coat?

Gabardine?

Cagoule. According to Matthew's Gospel, which precious metal was the

first gift given to the baby Jesus by the Wise Men?

Gold.

Yes. Cio-Cio-San is the tragic heroine of which Puccini opera?

BEEP

Erm...

Er...

It's Madam Ping-Pong...

-Close. I'll have to tell you the rest cos we're out of time.

-Yeah.

-Madam Butterfly.

-Oh!

-You had two passes.

Celine Dion...you nearly said Celine Dion, didn't you?

-I did, yes.

-She was the French-Canadian singer.

And it's a cap, the "baggy green".

But I tell you, Kevin, it doesn't matter. Your score is 23.

APPLAUSE

No doubt about the winner there. Let's have a look at the scores.

In fourth place, with 14 points, Adil Ray.

Third place, 16 points, Jordan Stephens.

Second place, 18 points, Mark Porter.

In first place, with 23 points,

Kevin Eldon.

APPLAUSE

Now then.

There you go.

-Thank you very much.

-Congratulations.

-Thank you. Marvellous.

Is it going to change your life?

It's going to change my life entirely.

In fact, it's going to take over Paul McCartney saying, "Hi, Kev" to me.

Listen, next time you meet him, he'll know about this.

And it'll be altogether different. There'll be a bit of respect.

-Thank you very much.

-Well done.

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