Episode 1 Celebrity Mastermind

First in the spotlight tonight is the boxer Ricky Hatton.

He's answering questions on Only Fools And Horses.

APPLAUSE

Next, the chef Tony Singh. His specialist subject, tartan.

APPLAUSE

The actor and comedian Ardal O'Hanlon

answering questions on the band Velvet Underground.

APPLAUSE

And the antiques expert Kate Bliss on Carl Faberge.

APPLAUSE

Hello, and welcome to Celebrity Mastermind with me, John Humphrys.

The big difference between this and the regular Mastermind

is that this lot don't only have to worry about the effect

of the spotlight and the black chair and the ticking clock,

it's their hard-earned reputations on the line as well.

And they don't even get paid for it, they're doing it for charity.

Otherwise, the usual rules apply.

A minute and a half on their specialist subject

and then two minutes on general knowledge.

So, let us ask our first contender to join us, please.

-And your name is?

-Ricky Hatton.

-Your chosen charity?

-Barnabus, for the homeless in Manchester.

-And your chosen subject?

-Only Fools And Horses.

Only Fools And Horses in 90 seconds.

Who created the television comedy series Only Fools And Horses

about the Cockney wheeler dealer Del Boy Trotter

and his long-suffering younger brother Rodney?

-John Sullivan.

-Which pub run by the landlord Mike Fisher for much of the series

is Del and Rodney's local?

-Nag's Head.

-In "The Unlucky Winner Is...",

Del enters an old painting of Rodney's

into the junior category of a competition

and wins a Mediterranean holiday for three.

Who has to pretend to be Rodney's mother with Del as his father

and Rodney himself as a 14-year-old artist?

-Cassandra.

-What name does Trigger call Rodney

from the first episode onwards?

-Dave.

-What is the name of the David Bowie tribute act

that Sid books for Boycie and Marlene's anniversary celebration

at the Nag's Head in the Christmas special "Sleepless In Peckham...!"?

Um...

Don't know.

In the 1996 Christmas special, Heroes And Villains,

Del and Rodney attend what they think is a fancy dress party.

Which characters do they go as, much to Rodney's embarrassment?

-Batman and Robin.

-In Strangers On The Shore,

what does Del put in Boycie's hair gel

as revenge for Boycie's insensitive bragging?

Onion puree.

In A Touch Of Glass,

what priceless antique object crashes to the floor at Ridgemere Hall

after the Trotters take on a contract and clean it with Windolene?

A chandelier.

In the 1988 Christmas special,

Del meets his future partner Raquel through the Techo-match dating agency,

an organisation that insists on complete honesty.

According to Del's dating profile, he is a business tycoon called what?

-David Duvall.

-Derek Duvall.

BEEPING I've started so I'll finish.

Who plays the American Mafia boss Vinny "The Chain" Ochetti

in the 1991 Christmas special, Miami Twice?

-David Jason.

-Is correct. David Jason, it is indeed.

You had one pass, it was Ziggy Sawdust.

That was the name of the tribute act. Ricky, you have scored eight points.

APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

-And your name is?

-Tony Singh.

Your chosen charity?

Edinburgh Sick Children's Foundation.

-And your chosen subject?

-The history of tartan.

-Tartan in 90 seconds.

Tartan is a patterned material whose name probably derives from

a French word meaning a cloth woven from a linen warp.

What is the French word?

-Tartine?

-No, tiertaine.

What is the name of the oldest known Scottish tartan

which was found in a pottery jar near the Antonine Wall?

-It's not the Falkirk Tartan?

-It is.

In 1538, which Scottish monarch was the first member of the Royal family

known to have ordered a Highland outfit including

three Ls of tartan to make up into trews?

-George IV.

-James V.

What name is given to a tartan with a dull,

dark background used for camouflage

when stalking deer or taking part in other country sports?

-Hunting set.

-Who was the author of the 1826 work,

The Scottish Gael:

Or, Celtic Manners: As Preserved Among The Highlanders

which contains the first detailed list of clan tartans?

Valerian Scottish...

No, it was James Logan.

Which tartan, that was designed in 1997,

can be worn by supporters of any Scottish sports team

but is mainly is associated with football?

Tartan Army.

The Clanedin commemorative tartan was designed in 1970

for a sporting event where it was worn by the Scottish female competitors.

Which event?

Pass.

Which tartan designed by Prince Albert in 1853

-and named after a residence...

-Balmoral.

..is grey with checks of red and black,

and Balmoral is correct.

What name did Cuthbert Gordon of Banffshire give to the

purple dye he produced from natural sources such as lichen

and moss to use in colouring tartans?

BEEPING

-Pass.

-I can tell you, because we're out of time,

-it was cudbear.

-Right.

You had one other pass, Tony,

the Clanedin Commemorative tartan was designed for the Commonwealth Games.

-You have four points.

-Thanks.

APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

And your name is?

My name is Ardal O'Hanlon.

And your chosen charity?

Is the Aisling Return to Ireland Project,

-a homeless charity in London.

-And your chosen subject?

The Velvet Underground. I almost forgot there for a second!

The Velvet Underground it is, in 90 seconds. Here we go.

Which artist designed the distinctive peelable banana sleeve

for the group's first album, The Velvet Underground And Nico,

and also acted as their first manager?

-Andy Warhol.

-With which record label,

a subsidiary of MGM, did the group sign a contract in 1966?

They released their first album on it the following year.

-Verve.

-At which New York University,

where they were both students, did Lou Reed meet Sterling Morrison,

who became The Velvet Underground's guitarist?

Syracuse.

Who replaced Angus MacLise as the band's drummer,

around the time they first performed as The Velvet Underground?

Mo Tucker.

What was the full name of Warhol's travelling multimedia shows,

abbreviated to EPI, for which The Velvet Underground

provided much of the music?

Exploding Plastic Inevitable.

Which song from their first album contains the lines,

"And where will she go and what shall she do

"When midnight comes around

"She'll turn once more to Sunday's clown

"And cry behind the door."?

Ooh, um... All Tomorrow's Parties?

What was the real name of Nico, the German actress and model

who sang on their first album and got her own credit separate from the band?

Uh... Christa Paffgen.

Who replaced John Cale when he left the band

before the recording of their third album?

-Billy Yule?

-No, Doug Yule.

The Velvet Underground were fired from their residency

at the Cafe Bizarre in Greenwich Village

because they refused to stop playing which song?

-European Son?

-The Black Angel's Death Song.

What was the name of the Boston club owner

who took over as the group's manager in 1967

after Lou Reed sacked Andy Warhol?

-Steve Sesnick.

-At which New York club in August 1970...

BEEPING

..make a cassette recording of Lou Reed's last reputed

appearance with the band that was released as a live album two years later?

-Max's Kansas City?

-Is exactly right.

No passes, Ardal, you've got nine points.

APPLAUSE

And our final contender, please.

-And your name is?

-Kate Bliss.

Your chosen charity?

The Little Princess Trust.

-And your chosen subject?

-Carl Faberge.

Carl Faberge in 90 seconds.

Which city was the Russian goldsmith and jeweller Carl Faberge born in 1846?

St Petersburg.

Which Tsar gave Faberge his first commission to make

an Imperial Easter egg for the Tsarina in 1885?

Alexander III.

Each of the Faberge Imperial Easter eggs had to contain a surprise.

The surprise in 1891 was a model of the cruiser

on which the future Tsar Nicholas made a world tour.

What's the name of the ship?

Memory Of Azov.

The Imperial egg known as The Lilies Of The Valley

created in 1898 for Tsar Nicholas II

was designed by Faberge in what popular style of the day?

Art Nouveau.

In 1885, Faberge's copy of a 4th century BC gold bracelet

was exhibited at the Nuremberg Fair and won a prestigious award.

From which nomadic people did the original come?

The Scythians.

When Faberge was granted the Imperial warrant in 1885,

he was allowed to stamp his work with the symbol

taken from the state coat of arms - what symbol?

Double-headed eagle.

Which of Faberge's brothers joined the company in 1882

and became its chief designer for the next 13 years?

-Agathon.

-When the Bolsheviks closed

Faberge's Russian business, he escaped from the country.

In which city did he first seek refuge?

-Germany.

-Riga.

The Tsar gave the Dowager Empress Marie an egg

containing a four-coloured gold miniature

of one of her favourite palaces, which palace?

-Alexander.

-Gatchina.

Which city staged a universal exhibition in 1900

where Faberge exhibited some of his latest work

and acted as a judge of the jewellery exhibits?

Paris.

The Imperial Tsarevich Egg of 1912

was carved from a single block of which semiprecious stone?

Lapis lazuli.

What is the name of the technique... BEEP

..frequently used by Faberge

in which the metal surface is finely engraved

with a pattern over which a transparent layer of enamel is laid?

Guilloche.

No passes, Kate. 10 points.

Well, a nice spread of scores, let's have a look.

In fourth place, 4 points, Tony Singh.

Third place, 8 points, Ricky Hatton.

Second place, 9 points, Ardal O'Hanlon.

First place, at the moment, 10 points - Kate Bliss.

So it is the general knowledge round now,

and if there is a tie at the end of it, then the number of passes

is taken into account, and the person with the fewer passes

is the winner. So, let us get on with it and ask Tony to join us again, please.

And Tony, you're not just a chef,

but you're a chef who knows all there is to know about curry and all the rest of it.

We have moved on, haven't we, from

the days when we thought chicken tikka masala was all that came out of Asia, really.

Yes, definitely. It's all changed.

-People understand now it's very regional.

-Yeah.

I think it's got to a stage where people really understand

it's not about heat, which is the spice, it's about the spices that add flavouring...

-It's about taste.

-Definitely, yeah.

And are we sufficiently educated, do you think,

-to be able to distinguish...

-That's the magic of going to restaurants -

great staff will guide you through it and you'll learn. It's a journey

about taste and history and whatever else is going on in that region.

And your view is that we should use

essentially whatever food is on our doorstep.

Yes, definitely, I'm always a great believer in the great Scottish larder.

There's some good stuff down south, but Scotland's a little bit better.

The idea of curried haggis, maybe...?

Well, the thing is I'm a classically trained French chef,

so all my Indian cooking is just basically what I've learned from my mum.

So yeah, it's, er...whatever makes you happy, really.

Absolutely. Good.

Now, you've got 4 points, but you've got a bit of time to catch up

because there's two minutes of general knowledge. So, here we go.

Which country was ruled by

emperors of the Ming Dynasty from 1368 to 1644?

China.

What descriptive name is given to the event that happened

some 13.8 billion years ago and is thought to have started the creation of our universe?

Big Bang.

Which sauce, now usually made with tomatoes,

was originally a spicy pickled fish condiment?

Er... Ketchup.

Whose television comedy show

introduced the stroppy teenager Lauren, the foul-mouthed Nan

and Bernie, an incompetent and promiscuous nurse?

Pass.

Nick Hornby's book Fever Pitch centres on his lifelong attachment

to which Premier League football club?

Pass.

What was the surname of the Californian engineer

who used a portable pump to make a whirlpool bath

to massage the body as a treatment for arthritis?

Pass.

Which commemorative arch stands in the middle of the Place Charles de Gaulle

at the western end of the Avenue des Champs-Elysees?

Arc de Triomphe.

What two colours are the domestic cats

that the Americans call tuxedo Cats?

Black and white.

Which toy, consisting of a light framework covered in thin material

famously featured in a scene at the end of the film Mary Poppins?

Er... Pass.

Kite.

The patriotic anthem set to music by Edward Elgar

is called Land Of Hope And...

Glory.

What everyday piece of technology

takes its name from the Greek words for "distant" and "sound"?

Telephone.

Which British political party was led by Hugh Gaitskell

between 1955 and '63?

Pass.

What is the name of the electronic dance music duo

who reached number two in the UK singles chart in 2000 with One More Time?

Pass.

Which city in northern England

is based around the site of a fort known to the Romans as Mamucium?

Manchester.

Which gymnastic discipline,

introduced as an individual event for women at the '84 Olympics

and as a team event in '96,

involves performing routines using accessories

such as a rope, clubs and ribbon?

Pass.

Which DJ hosts the afternoon show on Radio 2

and the Sunday Love Songs on Sunday mornings, also on Radio 2?

(Oh...) Pass.

The adjective "hepatic" refers to what part of the body?

BEEP

Hip.

-No, the liver.

-Liver.

-Yeah.

You had I think seven passes all together there.

The DJ was Steve Wright.

Rhythmic gymnastics is where they wave ropes and clubs and things around.

The name of that electronic dance music... Daft Punk.

Hugh Gaitskell led the Labour Party.

Jacuzzi, believe it or not,

was the surname of that engineer who used the portable pump.

Nick Hornby was devoted to Arsenal Football Club.

And it was Catherine Tate's comedy show

-that had Lauren and all that horrible crew.

-Right.

You now have a total though, Tony, of 13 points.

And now Ricky again, please.

And, erm...

you were all right, weren't you? You did pretty well as a boxer.

I wasn't bad. Still kept me good looks, I guess, yeah.

Well, exactly!

But you were

not only good at hitting people, you were good at TAKING punches.

I was, yeah. I stopped more shots than Joe Hart, but...

-LAUGHTER

-..yeah.

No, I was a very aggressive boxer,

and my forte was body punching.

And when you go for the body shots,

your hands have to go that little bit lower to get them,

which consequently meant me taking a few more shots, but...

you know, I won 45 out of 48

and four world championships, had a wonderful fanbase, so I can't complain.

Well, you certainly did. Was it 20,000 people went to Las Vegas...?

35, yeah, when I fought Floyd Mayweather. Yeah.

It's incredible. People say, you know,

"Was your greatest achievement that fight or that win...?"

Mine was the fanbase. You know.

I had unbelievable support.

Why do you think they like you so much?

I've always been a little Jack the lad, you know -

I play for me local darts team and I go to the local pub for a drink,

and I'm like, pretty much, the people who come to support me, I guess.

Well, that's it, isn't it - you were in that sense a ordinary bloke.

You didn't go in for all the bodyguards and all that stuff.

No, not really. I've got problems if I'm a boxer with a bodyguard.

LAUGHTER

That is a point, yes!

Exactly.

Well, look, Ricky, you've got 8 points -

We now have two minutes of general knowledge, starting now.

What gambling device has 36 compartments,

alternately coloured red and black,

with an extra green compartment in the European version

and two extra green compartments in the American version?

Roulette wheel.

Which well-known word is a contraction

of the phrase "God be with you"?

Pass.

Who won the second of his three Best Actor Oscars at the 2008 ceremony

for his role as Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood?

Pass.

What name is given to the trick of riding a motorcycle or bicycle

with its front wheel raised off the ground?

Erm... Cartwheel?

Wheelie. The Hundred Years' War was fought intermittently

from 1337 to 1453 between England and which other country?

Germany?

France. What is the surname of the sisters Kim, Khloe and Kourtney,

who star in a reality television show

about their professional and personal lives?

Kardashian.

The name of a small, round puff pastry shell with a savoury filling

comes from the French for "flight in the wind". What is it?

Pass.

Which composer and music teacher was born in Cheltenham in 1874?

His best-known composition is the Planets suite?

Pass.

In Devon and Cornwall, what metal was mined

in a district known as a stannery?

-HE SIGHS

-Pass.

Who managed Liverpool FC from 1959 to 1974,

transforming the club into one of the most celebrated in English football?

Mr Paisley.

Mr Shankly.

Which Italian city has statues of the biblical figure David

by Donatello, Verrocchio and Michelangelo?

Rome.

Florence.

What name is given to the United States President's office

in the West Wing of the White House because of its shape?

Pass.

Who wrote the epic fantasy Lord Of The Rings trilogy?

(Oh...)

Pass.

What name can mean a sharp thorn on a plant

or the backbone of a human or other animal?

Erm... Prickle?

Spine. Which American folk singer, who died in 2014 aged 94,

co-wrote the protest songs Where Have All The Flowers Gone?

and If I Had A Hammer? BEEP

Pass.

Well, I'll tell you

cos we were out of time. That was Pete Seeger.

And let me give you your other passes as well.

Tolkien wrote Lord Of The Rings,

it's The Oval Office in The White House.

Devon and Cornwall -

a stannery is where tin comes from.

Who knew that?

Gustav Holst wrote The Planets and all the others.

Vol-au-vent is the name of that pastry.

Daniel Day-Lewis won it in 2008,

and "God be with you" is "goodbye". So there you go.

You now have a total, Ricky,

of 10 points.

And now Ardal again, please.

And erm...

..stand-up.

-Yeah. OK.

-Yeah...

LAUGHTER

-Well, that sort of...

-Sorry.

..proves my point, really -

cos you're a shy person,

aren't you?

Yeah. Well, maybe I was as a kid.

I think I've got over it a little as the years have gone by.

Mm. So do you enjoy it now?

Yeah, I love it, yeah, I look forward to it.

I mean, it's your stuff, you know,

it's your take on the world, it's...

You know, it's your symphony, it's your masterpiece, it's your...

You know, whatever. I don't know, stand-up is just...

It's a great thing, it's an exhilarating thing. You know?

And for a shy person, for someone, you know, who kind of maybe

spent 20 years like, hiding behind the couch, it's very liberating.

Well, you've persuaded me.

Right. Now, then, you've got 9 points -

and there is another contender yet to go,

so you need to get as many as you can in the next two minutes. No pressure.

Here we go.

In Treasure Island, who has a parrot

that sits on his shoulders crying "Pieces of eight"?

Long John Silver.

General Franco was the effective dictator

of which European country from 1939 till he died in 1975?

Spain.

Who married his girlfriend Billie Piper

in The Little Church of the West in Las Vegas in May 2001?

They separated in 2004 and divorced three years later?

Oh... Chris Evans?

What does the H stand for in the term "H-bomb"?

Er, hydrogen?

Which city does Dorothy travel to with her dog Toto

and her three companions in search of The Wizard of Oz?

Oz...? Emerald City.

In Asian cookery, paratha, roti and chapati are all types of what?

Bread.

What did the Scotsman John Shepherd-Barron invent

as a solution to the problem of

how to get access to his money when the bank was closed?

Er, card?

Cash machine.

How many ages of man are there

according to Jaques in Shakespeare's As You Like It?

Seven?

What roadside test was given for the first time

to a motorist in Britain on 8th October 1967?

Breathalyser?

In Greek mythology, what notable feature

did the body of the horse Pegasus have

that horses don't normally have?

Wings.

Which bridge is falling down in the children's nursery rhyme?

London Bridge.

What did Oliver F Winchester

manufacture in the United States from 1857 onwards?

Rifles?

Which American author wrote the 1958 novella Breakfast At Tiffany's,

which was made into a film starring Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard?

Truman Capote.

Which group's first UK chart entry, titled Wild Thing,

reached number two in May 1966?

Troggs?

Which range of hills down the northern half of England

is known as "the backbone of England"?

Pennines?

What term is used to describe the type of sculpture

originated by Alexander Calder that is usually suspended,

and has parts that move in the lightest current of air?

Pass.

Hugh Dennis, Ed Byrne, Andy Parsons and Milton Jones

have all been panellists on a satirical television programme

hosted by Dara O Briain that started in 2005. Which programme?

Mock The Week.

Which country's principal cities include Antwerp and Liege?

Belgium.

What term for a twisting course

generally marked out by poles or flags... BEEP

in a skiing or canoeing competition

comes from the Norwegian for "sloping track"?

Slalom?

You had one pass -

-that term used to describe Alexander Calder's work is "mobiles".

-Oh.

You haven't done badly,

-you got 26 points.

-Oh - good. Cheers.

Finally, Kate again, please.

And erm...

Auctioneer par excellence,

Flog It! and Bargain Hunt...

When you say to somebody,

"That piece is worth £1 million" or whatever it is,

what does "worth" mean?

D'you know, that's a really good question, because

I've done whole talks on the subject.

Cos it comes down to value - what is value?

A value for insurance purposes is completely different to an auction value.

The differences are huge,

-particularly in jewellery, which is what I specialise in.

-Exactly.

So ultimately I would say that "value" or what something's worth

is ultimately what somebody will pay for it.

-That's it, isn't it?

-At the end of the day.

And this is a sort of off-the-wall question, I know,

but by and large, will dealers

working in the sort of area that you work in, will they be honest

-or will they rip you off?

-Oh, they're... They're a colourful group that I work with.

Ah! Oh, yes.

Dealing is the art of the chase ultimately,

and it comes down to

one man's wit against another man's, if you like -

one man's knowledge against another man's knowledge.

If somebody knows what a piece might be,

then...it's their wit against somebody else's.

So -

the trick is if you ARE going to sell it, find out a lot about it.

Exactly.

Now, then...

Yeah... This is the tricky bit!

This IS the tricky bit cos you've got 10 points

-which is a very high score to begin with, but 26...

-Yeah.

I was feeling all right till Father Ted went on!

Absolutely... LAUGHTER

-Right. Here we go, then.

-OK.

-Two minutes.

Worthy Farm in Somerset is the venue for which music festival?

It was first held in September 1970,

the day after Jimi Hendrix died?

Pass.

Which Australian dessert consisting of a meringue base

topped with whipped cream and fruit

is named after a Russian ballerina?

Pavlova.

Arthur Miller's 1949 play that features Willy Loman

is called Death Of A...?

Actress.

Salesman. Which three letters is a doctor of philosophy

entitled to put after their name?

DPH.

Yeah, it's PhD, but you got the letters right.

Mombasa is the principal port in which African country?

Pass.

An expression used in boxing which means "to give up the fight"

is "to throw in the..."?

Towel.

The sockeye is a valuable North Pacific member

of which family of edible fish?

Pass.

Which classic Oscar-winning Christmas song from the 1942 film Holiday Inn

has been a perennial bestseller for Bing Crosby?

Jingle Bells.

White Christmas. In which 1898 novel by HG Wells

do Martians land on Horsell Common near Woking

and begin their reign of terror by taking over Surrey?

Alien.

War Of The Worlds. Who inspired her sons Andy and Jamie

to take up tennis and was their first coach?

Andy went on to win the 2013 men's singles at Wimbledon.

Jenny Murray.

Judy Murray. What type of scornful comment

is commonly derided as "the lowest form of wit"?

Sarcasm.

What word, found in the names of many symphony orchestras,

comes from the Greek for "loving music"?

Amore.

Philharmonic. The prefix "milli",

as in "milligram" and "millimetre",

denotes what fraction of a gram or metre?

A 100th.

A 1000th. What is the first name

of the French postimpressionist painter Cezanne?

Er...

Pass!

Where do Wallace and Gromit decide to take a holiday

when they run out of cheese in the film A Grand Day Out?

Cornwall.

The moon! In September 2015,

Miles Jupp took over from Sandi Toksvig... BEEP

..as the presenter of the long-running

topical Radio 4 comedy quiz programme called what?

Er...

I know it - I can't think of it.

I know, I know. I'll tell you, put you out of your misery. The News Quiz.

Your other passes -

it was Paul Cezanne.

Sockeye is a kind of salmon. Very expensive one.

Mombasa is the principal port of Kenya.

-And Worthy Farm is where they have the Glastonbury Festival.

-Of course.

So, Kate, five passes -

-14 points.

-Thank you.

Well... The challenge was too great, let's have a look at the scores.

Fourth place with 10 points - Ricky.

Third place, 13 points - Tony.

Second place, 14 points - Kate.

First place, 26 points - Ardal.

Ardal...

So, er... You'll have a new billing, now, won't you?

"Mastermind champion", forget the other...

This is an extraordinary honour. It really is, it's a big part of my childhood.

-Good! Well, you earned it. Well done.

-Yeah, thank you.

Now, you don't have to be a celebrity

to take part in the regular Mastermind programme -

if you would like to appear in the next series on BBC Two,

then do visit us online:

And you can follow us on Twitter:

And do join us again next time for more Masterminds.

Thanks for watching. Goodbye.

Well done, Ardal.