Episode 1 Debatable

APPLAUSE

Hello, and welcome to Debatable, the quiz show where talk is cheap,

but celebrity chat can win a contestant money.

Today, one player must answer a series of tricky questions

to try to bag our jackpot of £2,000.

But they're not on their own,

as they'll also have a panel of celebrity brainboxes

debating their way to the answer.

Will they help, or will they hinder?

Well, that's Debatable.

Let's meet them.

On today's show, we have...

Retired MP and writer...

We have broadcaster...

..and comedian...

APPLAUSE

Let's see who you're going to be helping out today.

It is time to meet our contestant.

It is AJ from Llandrillo.

-How are you doing?

-How are you?

-Good to see you.

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

My name's AJ from Llandrillo in north Wales.

I got injured in the Royal Navy.

Since then, I've been doing a variety of disability sports.

So talk us through your disciplines.

I do archery, seated discus and shot put,

wheelchair basketball - to name a few.

And what standard have we got to with this, AJ?

I'm currently having trials for the GB wheelchair tennis team

for Tokyo Paralympics, Warrior Games in America,

and I have also won a gold medal in the Invictus Games.

Wow.

You see, THIS is what a winner looks like, OK?

-This is what a winner looks like.

-Right.

-OK, so no pressure.

Let's see if they can get up to the gold medal-winning standard

as we get this Debatable show on the road and play Round One.

OK, AJ, this round is multiple choice.

Each question has four possible answers, but only one is correct.

Now, apparently, helping you find the correct answer

will be our panel.

This be the plan - will you go with what they say,

or will you go your own way? It is entirely up to you.

There are two questions in this round and each correct answer will

bank you £200 into your prize pot that you'll be playing for

-today in the final debate.

-OK.

-All righty? Best of luck.

-Thank you.

Let's get cracking, here's your first question.

I put a slight Italian accent on top of those. LAUGHTER

-I like it.

-I got slightly carried away there, AJ.

So what are your first thoughts for this one?

I'm thinking a ciabatta is sort of slipper-shaped.

Gnocchi are quite small, but it's gut instinct to begin with.

Ciabatta's sort of my favourite.

OK, that's your first thought.

-Yeah.

-We will turn it over to

the wise sages that are our panel.

Your debate starts now.

Well, it ain't spaghetti.

No. Where are you going?

Fortunatamente, io parlo una piccola quantita di Italia.

E la questione, ciabatta.

Decisamente.

Mange tout, Rodney. Mange tout.

-It's ciabatta.

-OK, you're nailed-on?

It's not...

-Yeah, it's ciabatta.

-Do you want to argue?

-Any point arguing?

-I don't argue remotely.

If you're 100% sure, like that,

don't let's argue ourselves out of the right answer.

It's slipper-shaped.

It's not the word that's used for slipper,

but I know from eating over there and stuff, I'd be 99.9% certain.

-You were 100% certain just now, so stick with it.

-Yes.

-Stick with it.

-Ciabatta.

From the power of our Italian correspondent, AJ,

we are fully behind ciabatta.

So, Russell, straight out of the blocks there with some Italian.

-I had no idea what he was talking about, maybe you did...

-Nor me, no.

-..but he had confidence in it.

-Yeah.

-That's the thing.

The panel going along with Russell.

I think that's a good call.

It's slipper-shaped, and his Italian is far better than mine,

which is non-existent, so I think we'll go for ciabatta.

OK, let's see if we can get you up and running with £200.

Which of these Italian foods translates into the English

as "slipper"? Is it ciabatta?

Of course it is. There we go.

Well done. It refers to the shape of the loaf.

Simple as that. Up and running,

£200 in the bank, well played.

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

-If only they could all be this simple, AJ.

-Yeah.

Here we go. Let's see if we can get it up to 400

with our next question.

-You ever watch any Blackadder?

-Yes. I wouldn't say I was an avid fan,

but I've watched quite a lot of it.

-Anything jumping out there?

-I know Elizabeth I WAS in,

but the others, I think I'll have to see

if there's some knowledge of

Blackadder among the panel.

It is a cunning plan, as we hand over to our panel.

-The debate starts now.

-We've got a plan here, haven't we? Go on.

Well, I just wanted to ask a question,

-cos I haven't watched Blackadder.

-Right.

Was it all around the same period, or was it different periods?

This is our cunning plan, right, we're going to run you through

-the historical periods...

-OK.

-..and you tell us if you think...

Going to access the historical oracle.

But I think AJ is right about Elizabeth I.

-I think that was Miranda Richardson.

-And Walter Raleigh, I think.

Walter Raleigh was in Blackadder, definitely.

-Sir Walter Raleigh, definitely in.

-It's the other two.

So the next series was the regent, George IV.

So my question to you is - Duke of Wellington, Isaac Newton,

would that be coeval?

I don't think it would be coeval.

I think that's more likely to be Wellington.

I might be being dense, but I can't see Isaac Newton in Blackadder.

-But then I might...

-My next question is, when does Isaac Newton...?

Well, Isaac Newton had an apple falling on his head. I mean,

-it's the sort of thing you might do.

-Is he the 1600s?

I thought he was round about then,

which would put him well pre-Wellington.

And it would put him with the Charleses and the Jameses.

It would put him with the Stuarts.

I think if Isaac Newton is the 1600s,

there isn't a Blackadder series set in the 1600s.

-Apart from...

-None with the Stuarts.

-None with the Stuarts.

So we're saying Isaac Newton is the one who's not in it?

We could look like absolute goons here, couldn't we?

We could - we could look real fools.

So Russell's wonderful historical deduction,

-Ann's historical knowledge.

-The knowledge.

The knowledge of Widdecombe,

that Isaac Newton was not in Blackadder.

So our panel have gone for Isaac Newton.

Anything in there to help you?

Yes, I was thinking while they were talking and...

with the Blackadder series, there is very much

connections between royalty.

Walter Raleigh and the Duke of Wellington are connected to royalty,

so I'm going to go with the panel again,

and I think Isaac Newton is the odd one out.

OK, we don't think that Isaac Newton was in an episode of Blackadder.

For £200, is it the correct answer?

It is the correct answer! Well done. APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

What an amazing bit of deduction that was. Well played, panel.

Never seen an episode of Blackadder, but she knew the answer!

Isaac Newton lived in the historical period between Blackadder's

second and third series.

-Ah!

-Blackadder One is the only Blackadder series

not to feature Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie or Miranda Richardson.

Well done, everybody.

It means, AJ, you're up to £400.

APPLAUSE

OK, let's play Round Two.

AJ, Round Two is our picture round.

All you have to do is to place three pictures in the correct order.

There are two questions in each round,

and each correct answer is worth £300.

You've had a 100% record so far.

Our panel have had a 100% record so far.

Let's see if we can keep this rolling.

Here comes your first question.

It's a culture question, and that's why I will be no use whatsoever.

-What are you thinking?

-I've never actually seen the three paintings.

I'm thinking that Constable, with a landscape,

is going to be a smaller painting. We shall see.

OK, you don't need to make a decision now.

Let's see if our panel can shed any light on this.

-Your debate starts now.

-I'm sure I've seen some Botticelli

in Florence in the Uffizi museum.

I think...gigantic.

I've seen two of them, but The Birth of Venus by Botticelli...

-Were you wearing ciabattas at the time(?)

-Yeah. I can't remember

where I saw Botticelli. I think it might be in the National Gallery.

And if I'm remembering correctly,

this is about 10-12 foot.

I mean, you stand in front of it,

you can't see it when you get up

close to it. Starry Night I saw in Amsterdam,

but I'm pretty sure it's not gigantic.

It's this.

AJ, you could not have a better man on the panel for this question.

The Hay Wain, you would think Constable had it on an easel

at the site, which would lead you to think, "How big can it be,

"if it's on an easel being painted in situ?"

The same with Starry Night, of course.

So what are you proposing, Russell?

Botticelli has got to be the biggest.

The Italians didn't really do miniatures, did they?

-Let's get Botticelli there.

-Confident Botticelli's the biggest.

I haven't seen the Hay Wain in real life, so it's going to be a guess.

Starry Night is not a massive picture.

-It's not.

-But you say it's like...?

Not massive, but it's at least like that.

Then it's got to be bigger than Hay Wain, hasn't it?

-Possibly.

-I've seen Hay Wain on a postcard,

-but that doesn't help at all, does it?

-No, no.

Yeah, I mean, that's the best guess I can make,

but it is a guess.

So we've got a man on our panel who's seen two of these

in real life. So, we're going to go for Constable being the smallest,

followed by Van Gogh's and big old boy Botticelli at the end.

I'm sure that is - it's massive.

This is a great bit of fortune here, AJ.

So what we're saying is that

Russell has actually seen The Birth of Venus.

Not literally.

It was ages ago.

So what I'm thinking is, I'm agreeing with Botticelli,

cos he's a large-scale painter. And Hay Wain, as Ann said,

I think he was probably painting

it at the side of the Hay Wain

on an A3-size canvas. So I think

I'm going to stick with the panel.

OK.

You are agreeing with the panel.

So far, you've all had a 100% record.

For £300.

Is that the correct order, from smallest to largest?

AUDIENCE GROANS

It's the wrong order.

Let's see what the correct order actually is.

Ah, it's the other way around.

Starry Night was the smallest,

then the Hay Wain, then The Birth of Venus.

Unfortunately, AJ, that means no money for that question,

but still plenty of opportunities to get it up.

You still have £400 in the prize pot.

OK, AJ, let's have a little look at question two -

here it comes.

Who is looking oldest there to you?

I think Lord Sugar is looking the oldest.

Whether he works hardest, I don't know.

And Richard Branson being the youngest.

You're thinking Branson, then Bill Gates, then Lord Sugar?

Panel, let's see if you can help this one.

The debate starts now.

-Tricky, tricky.

-I'm not convinced Branson is that young,

because I can remember Branson

being about when I was a graduate.

And there were the airlines and everything,

and I can remember him as a major character,

certainly in the early '70s.

'70s, right. So, he was probably born

in the '50s, do you think? I think Bill Gates

was a college dropout in the early '80s, so that...

-COLLEGE dropout?

-Yeah, college dropout.

He didn't finish his computer degree.

I'm pretty sure that was late '70s, early '80s.

-So he's younger than Branson?

-It would put him 1960-ish.

And I think Lord Sugar is older than that.

You think Sugar might be the oldest?

I think Sugar was born in, perhaps,

like, late '40s?

I interviewed him 18 months ago.

He looked really fresh-faced.

I wouldn't have said, if he'd have said to me he's 70,

-I would not have believed he was 70.

-He's got to be nearly 70.

Why do you think that?

He was already an established businessman

when he launched Amstrad, which was the '80s.

So, I think he was in his late-30s, early-40s in the '80s.

I'm willing to gamble that his birthday is about 1946-1947.

So it would be Gates, Branson, Sugar, on your analysis?

-So Sugar the oldest.

-I mean, this is guesswork.

I'm happy to stick with that - are you happy to?

-I'm happy to.

-Are you happy to stick with it?

-I am, yeah.

-OK, so...

-We don't really know the answer.

-The result...shh!

The result of that incredibly long discussion is that

we are going to go, youngest first,

we think Bill Gates,

followed by Richard Branson,

and the old man of the house is Lord Sugar.

Ann happy to admit that they're not sure,

but that's the order they have come up with.

So they don't think Branson is the youngest.

Yeah, from listening to what they were saying,

I think Bill Gates...

I actually remember the story about

starting off in the garage

and dropping out of college.

So, that fits in with

my knowledge of things.

Lord Sugar, I think, is the same age as my dad.

He is 70 this year.

I think I will go with the panel and change my mind,

and we'll go with Bill Gates,

Richard Branson and then Lord Sugar.

-So you're changing your mind?

-Yes.

-You're going with the panel.

-Yes.

-For £300, is that the correct order?

He can't be 71, Branson, come on.

It is the correct order!

-Well done.

-Thank you.

Nice work once again from our panel.

Bill Gates born in 1955.

Richard Branson was born in 1950.

And, Russell, Lord Sugar born in 1947.

There you go. So, AJ,

at the end of that round I can tell you that

your prize pot is now up to £700.

Well done, sir.

-Thank you very much.

-Well played.

OK, our panel performing very, very well.

If one of them was standing out for you at this stage,

who do you think it is?

I think Russell is a fountain of knowledge. He is definitely good at this game.

OK, well, there is still another round to play and there is still another £1,000 up for grabs

as we play Round Three.

AJ, in this round you will face questions that contain three statements

that relate to a person, a place or a thing.

Only one of those statements is correct.

It's up to you to try to find the correct one.

There are two questions in this round and because it's our final round,

were going to up the cash to £500 for every correct answer.

So, best of luck.

Here we go. Here comes your first question of Round Three.

-Hm. Mm.

-Yeah.

I know that they grow on a bush.

So, I know that they don't grow on trees.

The other two, I'll have to see if there is some knowledge from over

there to make my decision.

I think A is definitely not true.

OK, you think that bananas don't grow on trees.

Let's see if our panel can narrow it down any further.

The debate starts now.

Well, we grew bananas in Singapore.

Oh, that's a good start, banana woman.

Banana woman.

Although they looked like bushes, they do look like bushes,

they were always referred to as trees.

-Banana trees.

-Are they not shrubs?

I'm sure I've had this question in a pub quiz before.

I think it's technically a shrub.

But so is a rhododendron, but you can refer to it as a tree,

if it's not the shrub bush.

All I'm saying is, we refer to them as trees. That's all I'm saying.

Yes. The other two facts, I completely have no clue.

-Well...

-I know they've got lots of potassium.

Is it high potassium makes them radioactive?

-I don't know.

-No, gives you hyperkalemia.

-What about bamia?

-I'm trying to work it out.

I've never heard that word in my life.

Bamia, I don't know what that is.

I don't know where it's from.

This is our least helpful debate so far.

The radioactive thing is so silly it sounds plausible.

So, right, come on. Let's find something definitive for AJ.

I'm still going to stay with trees.

But I'm quite happy to defer to you two.

Mine would be a complete blind guess, based on the silliness of it.

-Mm.

-I'd go for radio...

-Radioactive.

-It's a radioactive food.

The decision of the panel...

LAUGHTER

You can go with your own decision here.

I think we're going to go...

radioactive.

OK, AJ -

Ann's family used to grow banana trees or bushes in Malaysia,

but they've gone for radioactive.

The same as Russell - it's been in a quiz

and that's why it's stuck in my mind.

They're not trees.

Bamia, I've never heard of,

and somewhere in the back of my mind,

I don't know where it's come from,

but I think I'm going to go with the panel.

-No!

-I think radioactive is the...

is the answer.

So, once again, you are going with the panel.

You haven't disagreed with our panel so far.

Our panel not particularly sure about this one, Dan.

Haven't a clue on this one.

But are bananas radioactive?

For £500.

Oh!

APPLAUSE

THEY LAUGH

Bananas are radioactive

-because of their high potassium content.

-Oh, yeah.

-See, I was right.

They don't grow on trees.

It's a giant herb which springs from an underground stem

-to form a false trunk.

-Ah!

And bamia is a dish of okra.

Well played. That's £500 added to your prize pot now, AJ,

giving you a new total of £1,200.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very nice work. Let's see if we can add another £500 to that

with the next question.

Not my strongest subject.

I've seen clips of Psycho and The Birds,

but not the whole film.

I think, at the moment, the Oscar is the favourite.

But I shall see what my learned friends have to say.

Did you call them learned friends?

LAUGHTER

Friends, not learned.

You're thinking that he may have won Best Director Oscar.

Let's see if we have any Hitchcock fans on the panel.

The debate starts now.

I covered the Oscars this year.

-Yeah.

-And there's always that list that comes out

of people who've been nominated and never won,

and I'm sure he is on that list.

He's had five, six nominations for Best Director,

-but he was one of those who never won.

-When you're saying sure,

you mean that literally, not metaphorically? You're sure?

He's won an Oscar, but I don't think he won Best Director.

It was probably Best Picture or something.

-He's one of those who missed out.

-I've watched a few of them.

I've definitely watched a Hitchcock movie with a red-headed murderer

who goes around strangling people, and I can see the red hair.

So I'm almost sure that there are colour movies in there.

Yeah, I think some of his great works are black and white,

-but there's definitely colour films.

-Psycho was black and white,

but I can see a scene from The Birds where there was red blood.

So I don't think everything was always in black and white.

-It was colour.

-It's got to be colour.

The knighthood thing - say "Sir Alfred Hitchcock".

-Sir Alfred Hitchcock.

-No. Have you ever heard him referred to

-as Sir Alfred?

-No, but it actually sounds right.

-Sir Alfred Hitchcock.

-I've never heard that.

-Sir Alfred Hitchcock.

You keep saying it, but I'm telling you I've never heard it.

LAUGHTER

I'm 90% certain he is on that list of people

who haven't won a Best Director Oscar.

We know, pretty certain, that his films have been in colour.

You're looking at me in that way as if to say,

"What are you talking about, you fool?

"He's clearly won a Best Director Oscar." Aren't you?

No. I'm not going to say it's clear, cos if it was clear,

I would have said it a long time ago.

But it seems to me the most probable.

I've seen the ginger murderer, you've seen the...

You've definitely seen, not known of,

-a ginger-headed man?

-I went for the latest movie in the box set

that I didn't watch immediately thinking it would be the best.

-And there was...

-A red-headed man strangling people

-in phone boxes and all sorts.

-OK.

-OK.

-Was horrific.

We are saying the true fact about Alfred Hitchcock is -

forget about Best Director thing, forget about the colour films -

he is Sir Alfred Hitchcock, we think.

YOU think.

LAUGHTER

Was that of any use at all, AJ?

Er, jogged some memories for me.

The clip of The Birds I've seen, I think, had colour in it.

And if there's a list of people that haven't won,

it seems probable that Sir Alfred Hitchcock would be on it.

-Ooooh!

-Hello!

-He's using it.

-Oh, I hope so.

-So you're going to agree with the panel?

-Yes. Yep.

OK. Ann has her head in her hands.

Well, I just hope so.

I want him to get the money.

OK, for £500, has Alfred Hitchcock received a knighthood?

Oh...

Yes!

APPLAUSE

Well played.

His first film in colour was Rope.

Is that the ginger strangler?

-The ginger strangler was actually Frenzy.

-Frenzy.

Although I'm going to call it The Ginger Murderer from now on.

He was nominated five times - you were right, Dan -

but he never won.

And he was knighted in the 1980 New Year's Honours list.

Well played, AJ. Well done, panel.

It means now we add £500 to your prize pot,

which is up to £1,700.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And that is what you're going to be playing for, AJ,

in today's final debate.

£1,700, a lot of money -

what are you going to do with it if you manage to bag it today?

Erm, if I can win the £1,700,

I could buy a new tennis wheelchair, which would be top of the range

and let me compete against everybody around the world.

So what you're saying is, there are gold medals at stake?

-LAUGHTER

-Yes.

There is one question that stands between you and that £1,700

and that is our final debate.

That is one question.

That question will have six possible answers.

It will have three correct answers.

If you get all three, then you leave here with your £1,700.

I'm afraid if you don't get all three, then you leave with nothing.

-Yeah.

-So, bearing in mind there is a wheelchair to win,

a gold medal at stake...

Sporting legend.

LAUGHTER

You see what you've done now? You see what you've done now?!

Too much pressure!

So, which of our panel

would you like to play the final debate with you?

You've got Wikipedia...

-It's going to have to be Russell.

-LAUGHTER

OK, Russell. Join us as we play the final debate.

APPLAUSE

OK, Russell, AJ has chosen you for the final debate.

-How are you feeling?

-Very nervous, just because, obviously,

what you'd use the money for is so amazing. It does up the pressure.

-Thanks for that, AJ.

-Yeah!

LAUGHTER

Because we are nice here at Debatable,

we're going to give you two categories to choose from.

Here you go. Here is today's final debate categories.

Geography and Musicals.

-I'm hopeless on musicals. Absolutely got nothing at all.

-So am I.

-I guess we're doing geography, then.

-Yeah.

-You've travelled a lot, right?

With the Royal Navy. I've travelled a lot around the UK with stand-up.

-So I think between us, we've seen a bit of the world.

-Yeah.

Yeah, I think geography is the way forward on this one.

OK, by default - no knowledge on musicals, you've travelled a bit -

it's going to be geography.

So, AJ, for £1,700, with 45 seconds on the clock,

best of luck. Here is today's final debate question.

So, AJ and Russell,

for the final time, your 45 seconds starts now.

OK, Bulgaria, the capital is Sofia.

Nigeria isn't Lagos - the name escapes me,

but it's up north, and it's definitely not Nigeria.

Venezuela is Caracas.

Therefore, the answer's - Singapore, Kuwait, Luxembourg.

OK, I know Kuwait and Luxembourg, so...

Singapore's an island. It just is a city on its own.

Kuwait - Kuwait City. And Luxembourg is Luxembourg City.

Caracas, Sofia.

Oh, what's it called, the capital of Nigeria?

It's in the north. The name escapes me,

but it's definitely not Nigeria.

Everyone thinks it's Lagos and it isn't, it's the other one.

-Superb.

-Almost 100%.

-Are you in agreement?

-Yes, definitely.

You've probably been near a few of those places.

Why don't we just hang out in the time left over?

-LAUGHTER

-How are you?

-I'm fine, man.

It's just really nice doing TV during the day.

-It's normal hours.

-It's good.

LAUGHTER

OK. Very, very certain. Very, very relaxed.

AJ, I need three answers,

and let's hope they're correct!

LAUGHTER

So, the three answers we're going for

is Kuwait, Luxembourg and Singapore.

Kuwait, Luxembourg and Singapore.

Let's hope you're right.

-If we're wrong, we're going to be so...

-For Russell's sake!

-LAUGHTER

-That was so cocky if it's wrong.

OK, Kuwait, Singapore and Luxembourg.

£1,700 at stake.

First up, you said Kuwait.

Is Kuwait a country whose name features

in the name of the capital city?

It's correct.

APPLAUSE

Kuwait City.

You then said Luxembourg.

Is Luxembourg a correct answer?

To keep us on track.

APPLAUSE

Singapore, though, has to be right.

We need three out of three in order to get the money.

For £1,700,

is Singapore a correct answer?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Brilliant.

Well done, AJ! Nice work, fella.

Well done, Russell.

And the relief around the studio!

LAUGHTER

Congratulations - you've won £1,700, AJ! Well done!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Congratulations.

-Give me some love.

-Oh, hug it out! There you go.

Well done. £1,700.

Kuwait - Kuwait City.

You were right. Singapore is Singapore.

Luxembourg is Luxembourg.

And the only thing I have to pick you up on

is Abuja is actually in central Nigeria, not the north.

Oh! I've been disgraced on television.

You've been disgraced, Russell. You really have.

LAUGHTER

Well played, AJ. That is it from Debatable.

There's just enough time for me to thank a fantastic panel -

Russell Kane, Ann Widdicombe and Dan Walker.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I do hope you've enjoyed watching.

We will see you next time for more heated debates.

For now, it's goodbye from me.