In a special edition of the fun family game show packed with humour, jeopardy and a four-foot robotic hare, Jason Bradbury and the Hare take a look at their favourite moments.
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Oh, we've had some good times in the forest, haven't we?
Obviously, apart from all of those complete strangers coming down here,
all trying to steal your carrots.
Terrifying you out of your wits on a weekly basis.
My name's Jason and I live in an underground forest with a Hare.
For eight mad weeks, we invited guests to pop down here
and have a go at some really weird stuff.
If they did that stuff well,
there was £15,000 to be won every Saturday night,
as long as the guests remembered one simple rule -
Don't Scare The Hare.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Ah! There you are. It's me again, your friendly voice of the forest.
And what a forest it is.
It's got everything that a magical forest should have.
It's got giant alarm clocks.
A Hare and a flying hat.
Oh, and that man off the Gadget Show.
This evening I'm going to take you back to a happier time,
it says here.
Yes, it was a simple time for simple people, when the only thing that really mattered
was that the contestants didn't scare a very nervy robotic Hare.
They wouldn't listen, would they? They just kept on doing it.
Ah, the things people do for money.
She says, reading the script.
OK, Hare, so, you think you can dance? Yeah?
# And it goes a little something like this... #
Ey? Yeah? All right?
CLAPPING IN TIME TO SONG
There's something about the forest that gets everyone dancing. Me, Hare,
our guests, even curmudgeonly old badger, they've all thrown down some moves.
So, Hare and I have chosen a top ten woodland dance spectacular.
All right? Let's do it.
Actually, I can't. Have you got some aromatic back rub?
You're tuned into Woodland FM and the top ten countdown of woodland dance spectaculars.
At ten are the Dancing Queens.
At number nine...
At number eight, Adam, waving goodbye to his promotion.
In at seven, it's a Femme Fatale,
falling head over heels for a certain little hare.
Oh, blimmin' 'eck.
At six, it's our Welsh prison officers.
She's got the robot going on, see?
At five, oh, look at that marine get down.
-I'll give you a pirouette.
-Four, it's Adam again.
Two words, drama school.
Yeah, yeah. Change gear.
At three, it's Richard Hammond.
-What are you showing me?
-If you'll allow me to lead.
-Nothing will give me more pleasure.
-My wife doesn't always let me lead.
-OK, there. How's that? Any good?
-A bit lighter, you need to be lighter on your feet?
-OK, like that?
-And you need to follow, yes.
-OK. Can we stop?
-I'm just enjoying this a little bit too much.
-What more can you ask for?
In at two, it's Karima.
Fair to say, Hare had a bit of a soft spot for her.
Oh, my goodness. Hey, you, look away. Thank you!
How about that? Fantastic.
At number one, it's Melvyn from the Blitz Kids.
-Come on, Melvyn. Let's see some moves.
# Can't touch this.
# Can't touch this. #
Melvyn works in IT. I thought he was dull until I knew he could do this.
So you could say he turned me off, and then on again.
Oh, yeah, he's got the full routine. Absolutely!
What a joy this game was.
Each week, Hare found himself down the forest.
There he is with his girlfriend, trying for a bit of 'me' time.
The problem was his mates would always try and scare him
with the dreaded fireworks display.
Contestants had to grab rotten apples and leg it over the farm yard in a variety of ways
to try and prevent the fireworks going off by knocking them down.
..and then five...
and then seven fireworks that had to be walloped before the fuses burnt out.
Various techniques were used -
the classic lob,
smash it as hard as you can...
Nice one. Technique - underarm.
..and the more gentle and feminine underarm.
And the 'Why not just stand as far away as I can and hope luck's on my side' technique...
-..which it wasn't.
-Don't Scare the Hare!
It was a tough one and many people were doomed to failure.
And then came along a 21-year-old student called Sharm.
Sharm showed early promise in the game, so we were rather surprised
when he and his housemates failed to go home with the £15,000 at the end of the show.
It was like he'd played this game before.
Students do have a lot of time on their hands, don't they?
I mean, just look at how hard he's lobbing those apples!
He'd got a lot of anger in him, that boy.
Oh, look, there's Hare's date.
Bet she's wishing they'd just gone for a drink. Look at him go.
Poetry in motion, just smashing down those fireworks.
Thank God Isaac Newton isn't here. The world would have been a different place.
Sharm had to go back and get some apples at the last minute.
The fuse was too short...
Oh, no! Our Hare was scared out of his wits.
-Don't Scare the Hare!
Next up, there were five.
This is like a very dangerous fairground game.
So, like most fairground games, then?
Sharm smashed down those five in a row.
Firework, students, hay bales and a very timid Hare,
what could possible go wrong?
That was an incredible attempt.
At the last possible moment!
And then...there were seven.
Right, here we go. Seven fireworks.
Oh, he is fierce!
This was the final round.
He had to extinguish seven fireworks using only a fistful of apples.
Hang on, wasn't that a Clint Eastwood film?
I'd forgotten how incredible he was at this.
Could he do it before a fuse blew?
Just one more!
Sharm, come on, come on, come on.
Yes! Just in time.
That was an A+ performance from a very promising student.
Oh, there's nothing quite like the solid bond
between one guy and his hair.
Yes, as a bald man, I'm aware of the massive irony inherent in that statement,
but I'm referring to those quiet little moments we've had along the way,
because you're nothing if you haven't got your hare.
Again, I'm ahead of you.
No! Look, you're not having Wi-Fi in the hen house!
Why? Because it's a hen house!
Come on, then. Who'd you most like to visit us in the forest?
Katy Perry? No?
Weirdly, I'm totally with you.
So, the vicar says, "Yes, it is a candlestick,
"just don't tell the organist!" Ha! Do you see...?
What's wrong with it? That's my nan's best joke.
I don't care if it's your birthday, you're not having Grand Hare Auto 6.
I know you're worried about people coming down here,
but, honestly, I don't think a disguise is the answer.
All right, best of three, then. Here we go.
One, two, three.
Rock beats scissors! How is it that you get me with that every time?
OK, charades. Your go.
"Are you looking at me?", Taxi Driver, Robert De Niro!
Yeah, course I won't tell anyone you're nervous about standing for the forest elections,
but I wouldn't trust the birds, they Twitter.
Just...just to the left. Up-up a bit. Yes! Yes!
Oh, you've got the spot!
Talking to a hare in an underground forest.
People are on medication for less.
Ha-ha! Running yolk!
It's funny already cos it's, like, a pun, isn't it?
Hare wanted his breakfast
and you really shouldn't mess with him when he's hungry.
Contestants had to deliver the jumbo eggs to Hare's breakfast table
without smashing them on the giant assault course.
What? I never said it was Newsnight, did I?
They had to carry the eggs through the gate...
Yeah, she's done it.
Over the hay bales.
Come on, Gap!
You can get the giant spoons from any normal game show hardware store, by the way.
Those twisty, steppy stone things proved to be a bit of a nightmare.
A few of the contestants went over head first on those.
Take your time, take your time. You can do it...oh!
Don't worry, we settled out of court.
This is the best argument for porridge I've ever seen.
The irony was after all of that effort to make his breakfast,
Hare decided he fancied a bowl of cereal instead.
Who could forget handsome Charlie's brilliant giant egg run,
when he so very nearly made it.
Charlie played a lot of American football.
Which doesn't explain why he was good at this.
Charlie went on to win £15,000.
You can't buy your pride back, can you, Charlie?
He's already got two eggs,
but having scared Hare once, was desperate to get this one to the table.
Hare's a little overexcited there -
someone had just pressed his reset button.
Charlie was doing so well, then came the twisty, turny stepping stones.
Yes, the fully grown man is on to the twisty, turny stepping stones.
Now I can see why people eat breakfast bars.
Over the stile with the massive egg.
God, what am I saying? I went to Cambridge, you know.
All I could think of when I was watching this game was,
"Where do they plug the toaster in?"
Charlie was full of self-belief all the way and then,
would you believe it, he dropped it!
Oh! Charlie dropped it at the last minute,
Hare ran for the hills.
Please don't laugh, Charlie, this was very serious.
We all have different ways of coping when we make mistakes. Some of us pretend they never happened.
Some of us let rip with a series of Anglo-Saxon verbs,
and some form a coalition, but I prefer a more subtle approach.
When I make a mistake, you'd never even notice.
We all have different ways of coping when we make mistakes. Some of us.. Hey, noo-na-noo.
Great, now, while we... BRUP! Ey!
I know you're one of these players that's got a kind of...um...
-So, Kerry, do you I have any...? BRUP! Way-hey!
-One more time.
-But you've no idea how many carrents...
Carrots and currents. If you make a carrot and a current...all right.
I've seen how much you want those carrots.
I think you'd even betray tres...
Tres? What's a tres?
There are loads of carrots up there for grabs in the allotment
which is crucial... (MAKES SILLY NOISES)
I love that joke about strangers, that's why I got so excited I messed it up.
I messed it. I messed it up. I was going to mess it up.
Why did I even do it? I should have done it...
This is all about total concentration.
A very steady hand and knee... Knees? Knees of steel?
Where am I going with that?
Mate, I'm not being rude, but Sammy might...
-Oh, I've got it wrong again. Ready?
-Thank you. You can laugh.
I'll get you to try it in a minute. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, hang on.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Right, I want two copies of that tape, please -
one to me and one on a bike, straight to BAFTA.
In this game, Hare's friends are celebrating his election success
by throwing him a party. How thoughtful, you might think.
Well, it would be if they hadn't gone and held it behind this giant, thorny bush!
The contestants had to deliver one balloon to Hare's party
without popping it on the massive thorns.
Oops, Owl's had a bit too much magic pop. You can't take him anywhere.
Hang on a minute, thorny bushes?! Massive balloons? That sounds noisy.
Are we sure Hare's friends really understand him?
Now, apparently these bushes are quite easy to grow, once you've bolted them all together.
This wasn't a game show, this was a health and safety nightmare.
Those balloons didn't half make a noise when they popped.
It could be argued that some contestants did overreact a bit.
There's Audrey from the Dancing Queens.
This was one the most exciting games of the series.
Who'd have thought that it would've been completed by someone who is completely bonkers!
The show doesn't take itself seriously - you've seen the set.
So, your left, Audrey.
-Stop squealing, Lynn, for goodness sake, you'll wake Jason.
Audrey was doing well.
Keep it centre, Audrey. That's it.
-That's it, Audrey, you're past it. You're past it.
-I'm not that old!
So, Audrey got through the first bush, all right,
just two more to go.
-Up. Up, up, up. Go quite high.
-Well done, Audrey.
-It's got a mind of its own!
-This must be Scottish for balloon!
Oh, no, Audrey burst it!
-Don't Scare the Hare!
Hare was furious.
-You put it quite high, Audrey, there's nothing at the top.
-And we're back.
-Steady yourself. Keep it steady.
You have to keep it steady for going through this next bit.
At this stage, Audrey still had two balloons left.
It's coming off! It's coming off! I can't see, up a wee bit.
Right, stop there. That's it, you're there, Audrey.
-Last year someone tied those balloons to Hedgehog.
It was a terrible mess.
What are we doing?
-Yes, sorry, balloons!
-I'm a bit on the shaky side.
That's it, well done, Audrey. You need to bring it up a bit.
Lots of help from her team-mates there, that must have been annoying.
Up to your left.
-To your left. To your left, Audrey.
-Keep it where it is.
Yes, well, it's easy to stand and shout from the side,
not so easy when you're trapped inside a MASSIVE bush.
Ask Hedgehog - he was there for nearly two weeks before anyone found him.
You're nearly there!
She was doing well, but did she make it?
That's it. That's it. That's it.
Yes, she did! Hooray! So, what have we learned here?
Well, never put a firework in a cake for one.
Good work, Audrey.
Time we got ourselves a new hobby. What about train spotting? Yeah?
HE SQUEAKS All right. Let's do this, baby.
Hmm? I'm thinking this will work better at a train station, you know.
Somewhere where there are actually some trains.
Let's just stick to the hobbies you've already got.
Like most woodland animals, Hare doesn't get
a lot of time off between game shows.
When he does get spare time, it's a daunting task to find
a suitable hobby when you can't even go upstairs.
In many ways, Hare is an inspiration to us all.
Hare likes nothing better that than a nice relaxing day fishing.
Which is odd as his instructions advise that he should be kept away from water.
When he's not taking his life in his own hands by the pond,
he likes to play with his Rubik's Cube. The Rubik's Cube was very popular in the '80s.
Hare was given his by Vanilla Ice.
Who said robots couldn't do martial arts?!
It was Nietzsche, wasn't it?
Hare thinks Nietzsche is an idiot.
After a long day's panicking, Hare likes to kick back
and just chill, yeah.
He usually stops shaking by the time the medicine kicks in.
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
Hare loves to party, but his raves can sometimes get a bit out of hand.
After last year's, Badger woke up on his own in a field in Northampton!
Luckily, somebody faxed him back.
Hare's a bit of a drama queen.
-He LOVES musicals - he trod the boards in his youth, you see!
Rolled across them. When he's not doing all of that, sometimes
he just likes to put a bucket on his head and run into bits of the set.
I mean tree, in the enchanted forest.
So, it's certainly not all work, work, work for this little fella.
In fact, his agent has said after this show, he may never work again.
It was the game that made time stand still. No, literally.
The contestants had to turn off the alarm clock
so that Hare could get a good night's sleep.
Oh, look, there's our Steph.
She was so good at this, she and her team went on to win £15,000.
-Contestants had to finish the game before the sun came up.
The irony was, we found out later it was the game music that kept the Hare awake.
He was fine with the noisy clocks.
One challenge the contestants faced was deciding which way to go.
I'm the same some mornings.
-Come on, Jackie!
-What an odd place to choose to sleep, Hare!
Sometimes I don't think you help yourself.
The other challenge was trying to stay upright.
Well, it's not easy when you're zipped into a sleeping bag and there's £15,000 at stake.
Oh, that looked painful! Get off the floor, you're on telly!
Keep it going, brother. ALARM CLOCK RINGS
Oh! Quick, he's down!
That's it. Big breath.
Who would have thought that a 40-year-old sales executive
would be the girl to conquer our most physical game?
She used the windmilling technique. Technically that's cheating,
but we let her have it as we thought her face looked funny
-while she was doing it. Oh, no!
-ALARM CLOCK RINGS
One scare down, but Jackie kept on going.
Hare can't tell the time, of course.
He can read it, he just can't tell it.
Jackie was looked confused there - thought she had applied to be on Countdown.
Hare has that look on his face. Probably just downloaded it.
Jackie, I'm behind you. I'm in the one behind you!
Oh, and she powered through the game.
Maybe she has a lot of clocks at home to practise on?
You're nearly there, Jackie!
Jason was never too far away to shout encouragement from the sidelines.
Up here! Up here!
Quick, that one's going to blow, Jackie!
Jackie was a fit girl, all right!
I don't have to bother keeping fit, one the perks of being a disembodied voice.
ALARM CLOCK RINGS
No! She missed that one and she woke Hare again!
This game reminds me of a dream I once had before I was woken up
by six giant alarm clocks!
Third time lucky, as my bungee jumping instructor used to say.
-Hare loves sleeping under the stars. That's how he got into showbiz.
And that's daybreak. Time to stop all this nonsense.
This is all going to seem very silly in the morning.
Now, since we first invited you to our underground forest,
one of us has become quite a hit with the ladies.
Yeah, I'm talking about him. It's been quite tough for me,
being the Tim Burton to his Johnny Depp.
No matter though, there's been a lot of love in this glade,
plenty enough for everyone.
Hare what do you think of Sinead's...? Actually, Hare,
what do you think of Sinead?
It's a beautiful thing. Look at that.
He's a soppy old thing and he likes to wear his heart on his sleeve.
Well, there's not a lot of room in his chest due to his massive engine.
Hare seemed to fall for almost all of the female contestants,
I mean, look at that, some of those girls are mighty foxy.
Oh, my goodness. Hearts and everything! A beautiful moment!
Maybe Hare just needs to play hard to get once in a while.
The trouble is he just loves a hug and a cuddle. Who doesn't?
Well, he's only human. I suppose, sort of.
-Are you all right there, Paddy?
-I think you've made a friend there.
-He's a good-looking Johnny.
-A good-looking Johnny?
-What does that mean?
-He's not bad looking.
-No, he's definitely, definitely got a soft spot for you.
-I could go for him. Look.
-This is the problem though, he is absolutely smitten.
-Get your coat, you've pulled!
Hey, you've been kissed by a girl!
Look at you. What I have told you about that?!
Lucky for you I've got a moist wipe!
Go on, then, you introduce the next bit. HARE SQUEAKS
Yes, dude, honestly beautiful.
I couldn't have put it better myself. But watch the swearing!
Hare loves carrots so much that he grows them
in a specially designed electrified allotment.
Just look at his lasers. It's like a Take That concert down there.
In this game contestants have to steal Hare's carrots
in a variety of ingenious ways -
with massive poles with hooks on the end,
..or with a pair of oversized, very hard to control salad tongs.
If you're going to try this at home, kids,
make sure you get permission to borrow the balloon first.
If the contestants set off the noisy alarm, Hare gets really scared
and they have to return the carrots to his basket.
The team with the most carrots at the end of the game go on to play for the £15,000.
Those multiple carrots were tempting, but they turned out to be much harder to control.
This game was all about teamwork. Winch your mate in the wrong direction,
you could get into real trouble. Some contestants took this game more seriously than others.
Personally, I find it hard to take anyone seriously,
-who's dangling on a wire and shouting at me in a beanie hat.
-Go, babe! Forward! Sto-o-p!
To you! To you!
Go like the wind! Come on!
Forward! Forward! Forward! Forward!
-Forward! Go on, forward!
-To one, to one! To one.
Quite often it all proved too much.
Some people had to go down and sit with the forest nurse for a while.
This one was hard to watch. Tony had scooped the triple carrot,
but he couldn't get it in his basket.
-He must be useless at grocery shopping!
Well done, Tony.
However much they screamed at each other, at the end of the game,
the teams would always kiss and make up.
We did have one divorce, but they said they'd been having problems
even before they electrified their partner on national TV.
That was brilliant!
OK, five across, a short-haired mammal? Four letters?
You'll know! Any ideas?
Cos I'm stumped! Anyway, I'll remember it eventually.
Actually, going on my performance in the forest, I probably won't.
I'm going to call this team...
I've forgotten what I'm going to call them.
I'm so sorry. Right, here we go.
Nice to meet you and, for obvious reasons I'm going to call you...
Forgotten! Now, while you're here in the forest, you'll have to try
to collect as many of Hare's carrots as you can by foul means... No, you sausage, one more time.
Six alarm clocks, three carrots and all of that in this dress,
in Lady Gaga...in all of that. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Gameshow God! Anyway, as W... Hey!
As WH Auden once said, stop all of the clocks.
You see, despite being... HE LAUGHS
I'll get there. Well, as WH Auden says, stop all the clocks.
There, you see, I can still do highbrow.
I know, I totally messed it up. Balance... No, I messed it up again.
Give me one more try. You each need one person to fly.
Of course, you've no choice, sisterhood...
Sister Act... CHEERING
Oh, it's not going to happen. As my nan used to say,
prepare the explosives!
-Yeah, she's inside now.
Here comes the blag of the century, and remember,
you're not supposed to scare the blooming hare off!
It's the worst Michael Cain impersonation even I have ever heard.
What have we got? 15 croaky voices and ultimately only one huge prize.
It sounds like Andrew Load... Sounds like Andrew Lloyd...
Sounds like a Lloyd Webber. Argh!
One more time. Right, ready? So, what have we got?
15 croaky voices and ultimately one huge prize,
sounds like Lloyd Webber's new TV show! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
This was the grand final where only a few
general knowledge questions stood between our teams and £15,000.
The tables were turned as the contestants put their heads
together in order to catch our poor little hare.
The team had to answer questions correctly in order to coax Hare through the gate, into the garden.
Further right answers would position our little star right under the net
and a few more would see him well and truly trapped.
No wonder he was always so tense.
The questions were pretty straightforward,
but the answers were very difficult to understand.
-This is £15,000 we're talking about?
-Are you guessing?
15 grand is 15 grand. Oh, God, it's 15 grand!
-We might have served him often on an often basis.
By myself. I think it'll be the shoe.
Is there any subject we can get we could be worse on than ballet?
-I'm not sure.
-You're Tom, what are you going to name your child?
-None of them.
I'll go for A!
I met a girl once that lived in Coventry.
-Is this another one of your stories?
-She wasn't very nice to us.
She broke up with us after a few weeks.
I'm looking at A, Princess Andrew?
Not Princess Andrew, Prince Andrew.
It's a war ship, man, it's got to be something, Victory or something.
I can't hang about, just do it.
-Coventry strip's blue, hold on, Coventry City blue.
-I know this.
What you have to be aware of,
-is that you're taking responsibility for this one.
-And I'm colour blind!
Drop the net!
Sadly, every week there comes a point where
we have to say goodbye to our losing team.
You'd think that moment would all be about them,
but, oh, no, somehow Hare manages to steal the limelight.
Hare was so sad to see the teams go, that he would often end up in tears.
Well, he would be if he could cry.
So, it was goodbye to the family with the marine,
daredevil dancing daddy. They never did do lunch.
-Goodbye to the friends who went away with nothing,
not even a cheque book and pen that you can't use in real life.
Goodbye to the biggest twins I've ever seen
and their TINY cousin, Lucy.
It looks like Hare has taken a shine to one of them. Can you guess which?
-The Dancing Queens.
-Goodbye to the sisters who couldn't sing.
Hare should be nice to that dog, I've heard it's replacing him in the next series.
-It's goodbye to The Mothers. Not that Hare was bothered.
Sorry, mums, nice to meet you. It's always sad to see contestants go.
-Goodbye to the sisters although Hare was much more bothered
-about his Rubik's Cube, but at least they went away with a carrot each.
Goodbye to the friendly Femme Fatale who went away with 11 carrots, but no money,
but if they like soup, they'll be laughing.
Remember, Hare, it's not always about you, it's about the show's winners.
We love it when our guests win, don't we, Hare?
HE SQUEAKS Don't we, Hare? Better.
How can you not be moved by the glee on their excited little faces? Bless them all.
# Tonight's the night
# Let's live it up... #
Our scaredy hare made some team members rich beyond their wildest dreams,
all for playing some very silly games.
There's Melvyn, the IT man with the moves.
There's Kerry. Maybe if she had stopped jumping and concentrated
she would've won something!
The Scarers winning there, they don't care about poor old Hare, they've now got £15,000 to spend!
Oh, the Kung Fooeys. HI-YAH! There's Karima.
She was always a winner in Hare's eyes.
And there is Sam. He's got a new job as a fireman.
And the Weedgies are taking £15,000 back to Glasgow.
That is one MASSIVE deep-fried pizza!
# Here we come, here we go We gotta rock, rock
# Easy come, easy go Now we're on top
# Feel the shot, body rock Rock it, don't stop
# Round and round Up and down, around the clock
# Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
# Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday
# We keep, keep on going You know what we say
# Party everyday day, P-P-P-Party everyday... #
EXPLOSIONS AND CHEERING
All these people won quite a lot of cash
and had a lot of fun on the way. So, if you see them on the street,
don't be afraid to ask to borrow a tenner.
I'm joking, of course - you might as well make it a couple of grand!
Well, that's it. Time's up for our little trip down forest memory lane.
Hope you enjoyed it and we'll see you again soon. Say goodbye, Hare.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
Email [email protected]
A special edition of the fun family game show packed with humour, jeopardy and a four-foot robotic hare. In a show stuffed with hilarious out-takes and specially-shot bonus material, Jason Bradbury and the Hare take a look back at their favourite moments from the series in which there was one simple rule: Don't Scare The Hare! Narrated by Sue Perkins.