Episode 9 Don't Scare the Hare


Episode 9

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Transcript


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Oh, we've had some good times in the forest, haven't we?

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Obviously, apart from all of those complete strangers coming down here,

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all trying to steal your carrots.

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Terrifying you out of your wits on a weekly basis.

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My name's Jason and I live in an underground forest with a Hare.

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For eight mad weeks, we invited guests to pop down here

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and have a go at some really weird stuff.

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If they did that stuff well,

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there was £15,000 to be won every Saturday night,

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as long as the guests remembered one simple rule -

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Don't Scare The Hare.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Ah! There you are. It's me again, your friendly voice of the forest.

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And what a forest it is.

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It's got everything that a magical forest should have.

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It's got giant alarm clocks.

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A Hare and a flying hat.

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Oh, and that man off the Gadget Show.

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This evening I'm going to take you back to a happier time,

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it says here.

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Yes, it was a simple time for simple people, when the only thing that really mattered

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was that the contestants didn't scare a very nervy robotic Hare.

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They wouldn't listen, would they? They just kept on doing it.

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Ah, the things people do for money.

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She says, reading the script.

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OK, Hare, so, you think you can dance? Yeah?

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# And it goes a little something like this... #

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Ey? Yeah? All right?

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CLAPPING IN TIME TO SONG

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LAUGHTER

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Agh, oh...

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There's something about the forest that gets everyone dancing. Me, Hare,

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our guests, even curmudgeonly old badger, they've all thrown down some moves.

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So, Hare and I have chosen a top ten woodland dance spectacular.

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All right? Let's do it.

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Actually, I can't. Have you got some aromatic back rub?

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You're tuned into Woodland FM and the top ten countdown of woodland dance spectaculars.

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At ten are the Dancing Queens.

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At number nine...

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Kung Fooey.

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At number eight, Adam, waving goodbye to his promotion.

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In at seven, it's a Femme Fatale,

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falling head over heels for a certain little hare.

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Oh, blimmin' 'eck.

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At six, it's our Welsh prison officers.

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She's got the robot going on, see?

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At five, oh, look at that marine get down.

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-I'll give you a pirouette.

-Four, it's Adam again.

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Two words, drama school.

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-All right.

-OK!

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Yeah, yeah. Change gear.

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At three, it's Richard Hammond.

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-What are you showing me?

-If you'll allow me to lead.

-Nothing will give me more pleasure.

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-My wife doesn't always let me lead.

-No?

-No.

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-So...

-OK, there. How's that? Any good?

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-A bit lighter, you need to be lighter on your feet?

-OK, like that?

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-And you need to follow, yes.

-OK. Can we stop?

-Yes.

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-I'm just enjoying this a little bit too much.

-OK.

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-What more can you ask for?

-Nothing.

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In at two, it's Karima.

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Fair to say, Hare had a bit of a soft spot for her.

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Oh, my goodness. Hey, you, look away. Thank you!

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How about that? Fantastic.

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At number one, it's Melvyn from the Blitz Kids.

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-Come on, Melvyn. Let's see some moves.

-All right.

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# Can't touch this.

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# Can't touch this. #

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Melvyn works in IT. I thought he was dull until I knew he could do this.

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So you could say he turned me off, and then on again.

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Oh, yeah, he's got the full routine. Absolutely!

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Bangers...

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and smash!

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What a joy this game was.

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Each week, Hare found himself down the forest.

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There he is with his girlfriend, trying for a bit of 'me' time.

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The problem was his mates would always try and scare him

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with the dreaded fireworks display.

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Contestants had to grab rotten apples and leg it over the farm yard in a variety of ways

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to try and prevent the fireworks going off by knocking them down.

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Three fireworks...

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..and then five...

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and then seven fireworks that had to be walloped before the fuses burnt out.

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Various techniques were used -

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the classic lob,

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smash it as hard as you can...

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Nice one. Technique - underarm.

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..and the more gentle and feminine underarm.

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And the 'Why not just stand as far away as I can and hope luck's on my side' technique...

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-..which it wasn't.

-AUDIENCE:

-Don't Scare the Hare!

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It was a tough one and many people were doomed to failure.

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And then came along a 21-year-old student called Sharm.

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Sharm showed early promise in the game, so we were rather surprised

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when he and his housemates failed to go home with the £15,000 at the end of the show.

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It was like he'd played this game before.

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Students do have a lot of time on their hands, don't they?

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I mean, just look at how hard he's lobbing those apples!

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He'd got a lot of anger in him, that boy.

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Oh, look, there's Hare's date.

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Bet she's wishing they'd just gone for a drink. Look at him go.

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Poetry in motion, just smashing down those fireworks.

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Thank God Isaac Newton isn't here. The world would have been a different place.

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Sharm had to go back and get some apples at the last minute.

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The fuse was too short...

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Oh, no! Our Hare was scared out of his wits.

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-AUDIENCE:

-Don't Scare the Hare!

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Next up, there were five.

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This is like a very dangerous fairground game.

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So, like most fairground games, then?

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Sharm smashed down those five in a row.

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Firework, students, hay bales and a very timid Hare,

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what could possible go wrong?

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That was an incredible attempt.

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At the last possible moment!

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And then...there were seven.

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Right, here we go. Seven fireworks.

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CHEERING

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Oh, he is fierce!

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This was the final round.

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He had to extinguish seven fireworks using only a fistful of apples.

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Hang on, wasn't that a Clint Eastwood film?

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I'd forgotten how incredible he was at this.

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Come on!

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Could he do it before a fuse blew?

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Just one more!

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Sharm, come on, come on, come on.

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Yes! Just in time.

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That was an A+ performance from a very promising student.

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Oh, there's nothing quite like the solid bond

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between one guy and his hair.

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Yes, as a bald man, I'm aware of the massive irony inherent in that statement,

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but I'm referring to those quiet little moments we've had along the way,

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because you're nothing if you haven't got your hare.

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Again, I'm ahead of you.

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No! Look, you're not having Wi-Fi in the hen house!

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Why? Because it's a hen house!

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Come on, then. Who'd you most like to visit us in the forest?

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Katy Perry? No?

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Cheryl Cole?

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Fiona Bruce?

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LAUGHTER

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Weirdly, I'm totally with you.

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So, the vicar says, "Yes, it is a candlestick,

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"just don't tell the organist!" Ha! Do you see...?

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What's wrong with it? That's my nan's best joke.

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I don't care if it's your birthday, you're not having Grand Hare Auto 6.

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I know you're worried about people coming down here,

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but, honestly, I don't think a disguise is the answer.

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All right, best of three, then. Here we go.

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One, two, three.

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Rock beats scissors! How is it that you get me with that every time?

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OK, charades. Your go.

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"Are you looking at me?", Taxi Driver, Robert De Niro!

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Brilliant!

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Yeah, course I won't tell anyone you're nervous about standing for the forest elections,

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but I wouldn't trust the birds, they Twitter.

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Just...just to the left. Up-up a bit. Yes! Yes!

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Oh, you've got the spot!

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Talking to a hare in an underground forest.

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People are on medication for less.

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Running yolk!

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Ha-ha! Running yolk!

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It's funny already cos it's, like, a pun, isn't it?

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Hare wanted his breakfast

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and you really shouldn't mess with him when he's hungry.

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Contestants had to deliver the jumbo eggs to Hare's breakfast table

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without smashing them on the giant assault course.

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What? I never said it was Newsnight, did I?

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They had to carry the eggs through the gate...

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Oh...

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Yeah, she's done it.

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Over the hay bales.

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Come on, Gap!

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You can get the giant spoons from any normal game show hardware store, by the way.

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Those twisty, steppy stone things proved to be a bit of a nightmare.

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A few of the contestants went over head first on those.

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Take your time, take your time. You can do it...oh!

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Don't worry, we settled out of court.

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Nice move!

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This is the best argument for porridge I've ever seen.

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The irony was after all of that effort to make his breakfast,

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Hare decided he fancied a bowl of cereal instead.

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Who could forget handsome Charlie's brilliant giant egg run,

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when he so very nearly made it.

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Charlie played a lot of American football.

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Which doesn't explain why he was good at this.

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Charlie went on to win £15,000.

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You can't buy your pride back, can you, Charlie?

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He's already got two eggs,

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but having scared Hare once, was desperate to get this one to the table.

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CHEERING

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Hare's a little overexcited there -

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someone had just pressed his reset button.

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Charlie was doing so well, then came the twisty, turny stepping stones.

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Yes, the fully grown man is on to the twisty, turny stepping stones.

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Now I can see why people eat breakfast bars.

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Over the stile with the massive egg.

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God, what am I saying? I went to Cambridge, you know.

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All I could think of when I was watching this game was,

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"Where do they plug the toaster in?"

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Charlie was full of self-belief all the way and then,

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would you believe it, he dropped it!

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Oh! Charlie dropped it at the last minute,

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Hare ran for the hills.

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Please don't laugh, Charlie, this was very serious.

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We all have different ways of coping when we make mistakes. Some of us pretend they never happened.

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Some of us let rip with a series of Anglo-Saxon verbs,

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and some form a coalition, but I prefer a more subtle approach.

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When I make a mistake, you'd never even notice.

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What?

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We all have different ways of coping when we make mistakes. Some of us.. Hey, noo-na-noo.

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Great, now, while we... BRUP! Ey!

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I know you're one of these players that's got a kind of...um...

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LAUGHTER

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-So, Kerry, do you I have any...? BRUP! Way-hey!

-One more time.

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-But you've no idea how many carrents...

-Carrents?

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Carrots and currents. If you make a carrot and a current...all right.

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BRUP! Hey!

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I've seen how much you want those carrots.

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I think you'd even betray tres...

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Tres? What's a tres?

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Woo-hoo!

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There are loads of carrots up there for grabs in the allotment

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which is crucial... (MAKES SILLY NOISES)

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I love that joke about strangers, that's why I got so excited I messed it up.

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I messed it. I messed it up. I was going to mess it up.

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Why did I even do it? I should have done it...

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Way-hey, hoo!

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Ready?

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This is all about total concentration.

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A very steady hand and knee... Knees? Knees of steel?

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Where am I going with that?

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Mate, I'm not being rude, but Sammy might...

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-Oh, I've got it wrong again. Ready?

-Muppet.

-Thank you. You can laugh.

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I'll get you to try it in a minute. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, hang on.

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HE STUTTERS

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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TOILET FLUSHES

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Right, I want two copies of that tape, please -

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one to me and one on a bike, straight to BAFTA.

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In this game, Hare's friends are celebrating his election success

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by throwing him a party. How thoughtful, you might think.

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Well, it would be if they hadn't gone and held it behind this giant, thorny bush!

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The contestants had to deliver one balloon to Hare's party

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without popping it on the massive thorns.

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Oops, Owl's had a bit too much magic pop. You can't take him anywhere.

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Hang on a minute, thorny bushes?! Massive balloons? That sounds noisy.

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Are we sure Hare's friends really understand him?

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Now, apparently these bushes are quite easy to grow, once you've bolted them all together.

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This wasn't a game show, this was a health and safety nightmare.

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Those balloons didn't half make a noise when they popped.

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It could be argued that some contestants did overreact a bit.

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There's Audrey from the Dancing Queens.

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This was one the most exciting games of the series.

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Who'd have thought that it would've been completed by someone who is completely bonkers!

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The show doesn't take itself seriously - you've seen the set.

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So, your left, Audrey.

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No! No!

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-Stop squealing, Lynn, for goodness sake, you'll wake Jason.

-APPLAUSE

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Audrey was doing well.

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Keep it centre, Audrey. That's it.

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-That's it, Audrey, you're past it. You're past it.

-I'm not that old!

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So, Audrey got through the first bush, all right,

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just two more to go.

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-Up. Up, up, up. Go quite high.

-Well done, Audrey.

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APPLAUSE

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-It's got a mind of its own!

-This must be Scottish for balloon!

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-Right, Audrey.

-Perilously close.

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Oh, no, Audrey burst it!

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-AUDIENCE:

-Don't Scare the Hare!

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Hare was furious.

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-You put it quite high, Audrey, there's nothing at the top.

-And we're back.

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WHOOPING

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-Oh!

-Steady yourself. Keep it steady.

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You have to keep it steady for going through this next bit.

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At this stage, Audrey still had two balloons left.

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Steady!

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It's coming off! It's coming off! I can't see, up a wee bit.

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Right, stop there. That's it, you're there, Audrey.

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-You're there!

-Last year someone tied those balloons to Hedgehog.

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It was a terrible mess.

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What are we doing?

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-Yes, sorry, balloons!

-I'm a bit on the shaky side.

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That's it, well done, Audrey. You need to bring it up a bit.

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Lots of help from her team-mates there, that must have been annoying.

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Up to your left.

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-To your left. To your left, Audrey.

-Keep it where it is.

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Yes, well, it's easy to stand and shout from the side,

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not so easy when you're trapped inside a MASSIVE bush.

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Ask Hedgehog - he was there for nearly two weeks before anyone found him.

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You're nearly there!

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Oh!

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She was doing well, but did she make it?

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That's it. That's it. That's it.

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Yes, she did! Hooray! So, what have we learned here?

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Well, never put a firework in a cake for one.

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Good work, Audrey.

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Time we got ourselves a new hobby. What about train spotting? Yeah?

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HE SQUEAKS All right. Let's do this, baby.

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Hmm? I'm thinking this will work better at a train station, you know.

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Somewhere where there are actually some trains.

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Let's just stick to the hobbies you've already got.

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Like most woodland animals, Hare doesn't get

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a lot of time off between game shows.

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When he does get spare time, it's a daunting task to find

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a suitable hobby when you can't even go upstairs.

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In many ways, Hare is an inspiration to us all.

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Hare likes nothing better that than a nice relaxing day fishing.

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Which is odd as his instructions advise that he should be kept away from water.

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When he's not taking his life in his own hands by the pond,

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he likes to play with his Rubik's Cube. The Rubik's Cube was very popular in the '80s.

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Hare was given his by Vanilla Ice.

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Who said robots couldn't do martial arts?!

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It was Nietzsche, wasn't it?

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Hare thinks Nietzsche is an idiot.

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After a long day's panicking, Hare likes to kick back

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and just chill, yeah.

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He usually stops shaking by the time the medicine kicks in.

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DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

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Hare loves to party, but his raves can sometimes get a bit out of hand.

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After last year's, Badger woke up on his own in a field in Northampton!

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Luckily, somebody faxed him back.

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Hare's a bit of a drama queen.

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-He LOVES musicals - he trod the boards in his youth, you see!

-SCREAMING

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Rolled across them. When he's not doing all of that, sometimes

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he just likes to put a bucket on his head and run into bits of the set.

0:18:470:18:51

I mean tree, in the enchanted forest.

0:18:510:18:54

So, it's certainly not all work, work, work for this little fella.

0:18:540:18:59

In fact, his agent has said after this show, he may never work again.

0:18:590:19:03

It's Alarm-a-geddon!

0:19:050:19:08

It was the game that made time stand still. No, literally.

0:19:110:19:15

The contestants had to turn off the alarm clock

0:19:160:19:19

so that Hare could get a good night's sleep.

0:19:190:19:22

Oh, look, there's our Steph.

0:19:220:19:24

She was so good at this, she and her team went on to win £15,000.

0:19:240:19:29

-Contestants had to finish the game before the sun came up.

-COCK CROWS

0:19:290:19:33

The irony was, we found out later it was the game music that kept the Hare awake.

0:19:330:19:36

He was fine with the noisy clocks.

0:19:360:19:39

One challenge the contestants faced was deciding which way to go.

0:19:390:19:43

I'm the same some mornings.

0:19:430:19:46

-Come on, Jackie!

-What an odd place to choose to sleep, Hare!

0:19:460:19:50

Sometimes I don't think you help yourself.

0:19:500:19:52

The other challenge was trying to stay upright.

0:19:520:19:55

Well, it's not easy when you're zipped into a sleeping bag and there's £15,000 at stake.

0:19:550:19:59

Oh, that looked painful! Get off the floor, you're on telly!

0:20:030:20:07

Keep it going, brother. ALARM CLOCK RINGS

0:20:070:20:10

Oh! Quick, he's down!

0:20:100:20:13

That's it. Big breath.

0:20:130:20:15

Here's Jackie!

0:20:170:20:19

Who would have thought that a 40-year-old sales executive

0:20:210:20:24

would be the girl to conquer our most physical game?

0:20:240:20:28

She used the windmilling technique. Technically that's cheating,

0:20:310:20:34

but we let her have it as we thought her face looked funny

0:20:340:20:37

-while she was doing it. Oh, no!

-ALARM CLOCK RINGS

0:20:370:20:41

One scare down, but Jackie kept on going.

0:20:430:20:46

Hare can't tell the time, of course.

0:20:460:20:48

He can read it, he just can't tell it.

0:20:480:20:50

Jackie was looked confused there - thought she had applied to be on Countdown.

0:20:500:20:54

Hare has that look on his face. Probably just downloaded it.

0:20:540:20:57

Jackie, I'm behind you. I'm in the one behind you!

0:20:580:21:02

Oh, and she powered through the game.

0:21:040:21:06

Maybe she has a lot of clocks at home to practise on?

0:21:060:21:10

You're nearly there, Jackie!

0:21:110:21:14

Jason was never too far away to shout encouragement from the sidelines.

0:21:140:21:18

Up here! Up here!

0:21:210:21:24

Quick, that one's going to blow, Jackie!

0:21:240:21:26

Jackie was a fit girl, all right!

0:21:260:21:30

I don't have to bother keeping fit, one the perks of being a disembodied voice.

0:21:300:21:34

ALARM CLOCK RINGS

0:21:340:21:36

No! She missed that one and she woke Hare again!

0:21:360:21:39

This game reminds me of a dream I once had before I was woken up

0:21:390:21:42

by six giant alarm clocks!

0:21:420:21:44

Third time lucky, as my bungee jumping instructor used to say.

0:21:470:21:50

-Hare loves sleeping under the stars. That's how he got into showbiz.

-COCK CROWS

0:21:500:21:54

And that's daybreak. Time to stop all this nonsense.

0:21:540:21:57

This is all going to seem very silly in the morning.

0:21:570:22:01

Now, since we first invited you to our underground forest,

0:22:030:22:07

one of us has become quite a hit with the ladies.

0:22:070:22:10

Yeah, I'm talking about him. It's been quite tough for me,

0:22:100:22:13

being the Tim Burton to his Johnny Depp.

0:22:130:22:15

No matter though, there's been a lot of love in this glade,

0:22:150:22:18

plenty enough for everyone.

0:22:180:22:20

Hare what do you think of Sinead's...? Actually, Hare,

0:22:200:22:23

what do you think of Sinead?

0:22:230:22:25

It's a beautiful thing. Look at that.

0:22:270:22:29

He's a soppy old thing and he likes to wear his heart on his sleeve.

0:22:290:22:34

Well, there's not a lot of room in his chest due to his massive engine.

0:22:340:22:37

Hare seemed to fall for almost all of the female contestants,

0:22:370:22:40

I mean, look at that, some of those girls are mighty foxy.

0:22:400:22:44

Oh, my goodness. Hearts and everything! A beautiful moment!

0:22:450:22:49

Maybe Hare just needs to play hard to get once in a while.

0:22:490:22:53

The trouble is he just loves a hug and a cuddle. Who doesn't?

0:22:530:22:56

Well, he's only human. I suppose, sort of.

0:22:560:23:00

-Are you all right there, Paddy?

-I think you've made a friend there.

0:23:000:23:05

-He's a good-looking Johnny.

-A good-looking Johnny?

0:23:050:23:08

-What does that mean?

-He's not bad looking.

0:23:080:23:11

-No, he's definitely, definitely got a soft spot for you.

-Does he?

-Yes.

-I could go for him. Look.

0:23:110:23:16

-This is the problem though, he is absolutely smitten.

-Get your coat, you've pulled!

-Exactly!

0:23:160:23:21

Hey, you've been kissed by a girl!

0:23:250:23:29

Look at you. What I have told you about that?!

0:23:290:23:31

Lucky for you I've got a moist wipe!

0:23:310:23:34

Go on, then, you introduce the next bit. HARE SQUEAKS

0:23:340:23:37

Yes, dude, honestly beautiful.

0:23:380:23:42

I couldn't have put it better myself. But watch the swearing!

0:23:420:23:44

Hare loves carrots so much that he grows them

0:23:510:23:54

in a specially designed electrified allotment.

0:23:540:23:57

Just look at his lasers. It's like a Take That concert down there.

0:23:570:24:00

In this game contestants have to steal Hare's carrots

0:24:000:24:03

in a variety of ingenious ways -

0:24:030:24:06

with massive poles with hooks on the end,

0:24:060:24:09

bare hands...

0:24:090:24:11

..or with a pair of oversized, very hard to control salad tongs.

0:24:140:24:18

If you're going to try this at home, kids,

0:24:190:24:21

make sure you get permission to borrow the balloon first.

0:24:210:24:25

If the contestants set off the noisy alarm, Hare gets really scared

0:24:250:24:29

and they have to return the carrots to his basket.

0:24:290:24:32

The team with the most carrots at the end of the game go on to play for the £15,000.

0:24:320:24:37

Those multiple carrots were tempting, but they turned out to be much harder to control.

0:24:370:24:42

This game was all about teamwork. Winch your mate in the wrong direction,

0:24:420:24:46

you could get into real trouble. Some contestants took this game more seriously than others.

0:24:460:24:51

Personally, I find it hard to take anyone seriously,

0:24:510:24:53

-who's dangling on a wire and shouting at me in a beanie hat.

-Go, babe! Forward! Sto-o-p!

0:24:530:24:59

-Back! Back!

-To you!

0:24:590:25:03

To you! To you!

0:25:030:25:05

Go like the wind! Come on!

0:25:050:25:07

Forward! Forward! Forward! Forward!

0:25:070:25:12

-Forward! Go on, forward!

-To one, to one! To one.

-Slowly. Stop.

0:25:120:25:17

Quite often it all proved too much.

0:25:170:25:20

Some people had to go down and sit with the forest nurse for a while.

0:25:200:25:24

SHE ROARS

0:25:240:25:26

This one was hard to watch. Tony had scooped the triple carrot,

0:25:290:25:33

but he couldn't get it in his basket.

0:25:330:25:36

-He must be useless at grocery shopping!

-Stop! Stop!

0:25:360:25:41

Stop! Stop!

0:25:410:25:44

Well done, Tony.

0:25:440:25:46

However much they screamed at each other, at the end of the game,

0:25:460:25:49

the teams would always kiss and make up.

0:25:490:25:52

We did have one divorce, but they said they'd been having problems

0:25:560:25:59

even before they electrified their partner on national TV.

0:25:590:26:03

That was brilliant!

0:26:040:26:05

OK, five across, a short-haired mammal? Four letters?

0:26:110:26:15

Hare!

0:26:150:26:17

You'll know! Any ideas?

0:26:170:26:20

Cos I'm stumped! Anyway, I'll remember it eventually.

0:26:200:26:23

Actually, going on my performance in the forest, I probably won't.

0:26:230:26:27

I'm going to call this team...

0:26:280:26:30

I've forgotten what I'm going to call them.

0:26:300:26:33

I'm so sorry. Right, here we go.

0:26:330:26:35

Nice to meet you and, for obvious reasons I'm going to call you...

0:26:350:26:39

Forgotten! Now, while you're here in the forest, you'll have to try

0:26:390:26:43

to collect as many of Hare's carrots as you can by foul means... No, you sausage, one more time.

0:26:430:26:48

Six alarm clocks, three carrots and all of that in this dress,

0:26:520:26:57

in Lady Gaga...in all of that. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

0:26:570:27:03

Gameshow God! Anyway, as W... Hey!

0:27:050:27:08

As WH Auden once said, stop all of the clocks.

0:27:080:27:12

You see, despite being... HE LAUGHS

0:27:120:27:14

I'll get there. Well, as WH Auden says, stop all the clocks.

0:27:140:27:18

There, you see, I can still do highbrow.

0:27:180:27:21

I know, I totally messed it up. Balance... No, I messed it up again.

0:27:230:27:27

Give me one more try. You each need one person to fly.

0:27:270:27:31

Of course, you've no choice, sisterhood...

0:27:310:27:33

Sister Act... CHEERING

0:27:370:27:39

Oh, it's not going to happen. As my nan used to say,

0:27:440:27:47

prepare the explosives!

0:27:470:27:48

-Did she?

-Yeah, she's inside now.

0:27:480:27:51

Armed robbery.

0:27:510:27:53

Here comes the blag of the century, and remember,

0:27:530:27:56

you're not supposed to scare the blooming hare off!

0:27:560:27:59

It's the worst Michael Cain impersonation even I have ever heard.

0:27:590:28:03

What have we got? 15 croaky voices and ultimately only one huge prize.

0:28:030:28:08

It sounds like Andrew Load... Sounds like Andrew Lloyd...

0:28:080:28:11

Sounds like a Lloyd Webber. Argh!

0:28:140:28:16

One more time. Right, ready? So, what have we got?

0:28:160:28:19

15 croaky voices and ultimately one huge prize,

0:28:190:28:21

sounds like Lloyd Webber's new TV show! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:210:28:26

This was the grand final where only a few

0:28:340:28:36

general knowledge questions stood between our teams and £15,000.

0:28:360:28:40

The tables were turned as the contestants put their heads

0:28:400:28:44

together in order to catch our poor little hare.

0:28:440:28:46

The team had to answer questions correctly in order to coax Hare through the gate, into the garden.

0:28:460:28:52

Further right answers would position our little star right under the net

0:28:520:28:56

and a few more would see him well and truly trapped.

0:28:560:29:01

No wonder he was always so tense.

0:29:010:29:03

The questions were pretty straightforward,

0:29:030:29:06

but the answers were very difficult to understand.

0:29:060:29:09

-This is £15,000 we're talking about?

-I know.

0:29:110:29:14

-Yes.

-Are you guessing?

-Yeah.

0:29:140:29:16

15 grand is 15 grand. Oh, God, it's 15 grand!

0:29:160:29:19

HE LAUGHS

0:29:190:29:21

-We might have served him often on an often basis.

-By yourself?

0:29:210:29:24

By myself. I think it'll be the shoe.

0:29:240:29:27

Excellent.

0:29:280:29:31

Is there any subject we can get we could be worse on than ballet?

0:29:310:29:34

-I'm not sure.

-You're Katie?

-Yep.

0:29:340:29:37

-You're Tom, what are you going to name your child?

-None of them.

0:29:370:29:42

I'll go for A!

0:29:420:29:43

I met a girl once that lived in Coventry.

0:29:450:29:48

-Is this another one of your stories?

-She wasn't very nice to us.

0:29:480:29:51

She broke up with us after a few weeks.

0:29:510:29:54

I'm looking at A, Princess Andrew?

0:29:540:29:57

Not Princess Andrew, Prince Andrew.

0:29:570:30:00

It's a war ship, man, it's got to be something, Victory or something.

0:30:000:30:04

I can't hang about, just do it.

0:30:040:30:06

-Coventry strip's blue, hold on, Coventry City blue.

-I know this.

0:30:080:30:13

What you have to be aware of,

0:30:130:30:15

-is that you're taking responsibility for this one.

-And I'm colour blind!

0:30:150:30:20

Drop the net!

0:30:250:30:27

Sadly, every week there comes a point where

0:30:310:30:34

we have to say goodbye to our losing team.

0:30:340:30:36

You'd think that moment would all be about them,

0:30:360:30:38

but, oh, no, somehow Hare manages to steal the limelight.

0:30:380:30:43

Hare was so sad to see the teams go, that he would often end up in tears.

0:30:440:30:48

Well, he would be if he could cry.

0:30:480:30:51

So, it was goodbye to the family with the marine,

0:30:510:30:53

daredevil dancing daddy. They never did do lunch.

0:30:530:30:56

-The Ladettes.

-Goodbye to the friends who went away with nothing,

0:30:560:31:00

not even a cheque book and pen that you can't use in real life.

0:31:000:31:04

Goodbye to the biggest twins I've ever seen

0:31:040:31:07

and their TINY cousin, Lucy.

0:31:070:31:10

It looks like Hare has taken a shine to one of them. Can you guess which?

0:31:100:31:13

-The Dancing Queens.

-Goodbye to the sisters who couldn't sing.

0:31:130:31:17

Hare should be nice to that dog, I've heard it's replacing him in the next series.

0:31:170:31:21

-The Mothers.

-It's goodbye to The Mothers. Not that Hare was bothered.

0:31:210:31:25

Sorry, mums, nice to meet you. It's always sad to see contestants go.

0:31:250:31:29

-Sister Act!

-Goodbye to the sisters although Hare was much more bothered

0:31:290:31:33

-about his Rubik's Cube, but at least they went away with a carrot each.

-Femme Fatale!

0:31:330:31:38

Goodbye to the friendly Femme Fatale who went away with 11 carrots, but no money,

0:31:380:31:42

but if they like soup, they'll be laughing.

0:31:420:31:45

Remember, Hare, it's not always about you, it's about the show's winners.

0:31:450:31:49

We love it when our guests win, don't we, Hare?

0:31:500:31:53

HE SQUEAKS Don't we, Hare? Better.

0:31:530:31:57

How can you not be moved by the glee on their excited little faces? Bless them all.

0:31:570:32:02

Oh, money.

0:32:040:32:06

# Tonight's the night

0:32:070:32:09

# Let's live it up... #

0:32:090:32:12

Our scaredy hare made some team members rich beyond their wildest dreams,

0:32:120:32:15

all for playing some very silly games.

0:32:150:32:18

There's Melvyn, the IT man with the moves.

0:32:180:32:20

There's Kerry. Maybe if she had stopped jumping and concentrated

0:32:200:32:24

she would've won something!

0:32:240:32:25

The Scarers winning there, they don't care about poor old Hare, they've now got £15,000 to spend!

0:32:290:32:34

Oh, the Kung Fooeys. HI-YAH! There's Karima.

0:32:370:32:42

She was always a winner in Hare's eyes.

0:32:420:32:44

And there is Sam. He's got a new job as a fireman.

0:32:470:32:51

And the Weedgies are taking £15,000 back to Glasgow.

0:32:520:32:55

That is one MASSIVE deep-fried pizza!

0:32:550:32:58

# Here we come, here we go We gotta rock, rock

0:33:130:33:17

# Easy come, easy go Now we're on top

0:33:170:33:21

# Feel the shot, body rock Rock it, don't stop

0:33:210:33:24

# Round and round Up and down, around the clock

0:33:240:33:28

# Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday

0:33:280:33:32

# Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday

0:33:320:33:35

# We keep, keep on going You know what we say

0:33:350:33:39

# Party everyday day, P-P-P-Party everyday... #

0:33:390:33:43

EXPLOSIONS AND CHEERING

0:33:430:33:47

APPLAUSE

0:33:470:33:50

All these people won quite a lot of cash

0:33:590:34:01

and had a lot of fun on the way. So, if you see them on the street,

0:34:010:34:06

don't be afraid to ask to borrow a tenner.

0:34:060:34:09

I'm joking, of course - you might as well make it a couple of grand!

0:34:090:34:13

Well, that's it. Time's up for our little trip down forest memory lane.

0:34:130:34:18

Hope you enjoyed it and we'll see you again soon. Say goodbye, Hare.

0:34:180:34:22

HE SQUEAKS

0:34:220:34:25

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:34:250:34:28

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:34:400:34:43

Email [email protected]

0:34:430:34:47

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