Episode 54 Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads. arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is can they be beaten?

Welcome to Eggheads, where five quiz challengers pit their wits

against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain. They've won some of the country's toughest quiz shows.

They are the Eggheads.

Taking on our quiz goliaths today

are the British Beard Club.

This club believes growing a beard is the most natural and ecological expression of a man's character

and helps to conserve precious resources and energy, as well as saving a lot of time!

-Let's meet them.

-Hello! I'm David, I'm 63 and I'm a retired sound engineer.

Hello! I'm Ross, I'm 61 and I'm a retired civil servant.

Hello. I'm Martyn, I'm 48 and I'm a clown and Punch and Judy showman.

Hello. I'm Roger, I'm 57 and I'm a logistics company director.

I'm Greg, I'm 37 and a data analyst.

Welcome, British Beard Club. You're the BBC at the BBC!

-That's right, yes.

-So tell me about the British Beard Club. What's the constitution? To grow beards?

Well, in 2007 there was a world beard and moustache championships held in England, in Brighton,

and a few of us realised that all the European countries had beard clubs

and go in for competitions, there was no beard club for the UK, so we decided to create one.

Absolutely. And what a fine set you all have there. But what do you do?

Growing a beard is a rather solitary experience. You sit down and wait.

But there are many problems that people encounter.

-One is pressure from their family and friends.

-So support, emotional and mental.

And we also meet at pubs and restaurants for a good time.

We use the beards as an excuse for a good time.

Let's play the game and talk more about beards in the course of it.

Every day there's £1,000 up for grabs for our challengers,

but if they fail to win, it rolls over.

The Eggheads have won the last game,

which means £2,000 says you can't beat the Eggheads.

Our first head-to-head battle is on Music.

Any one of you can play this.

-Music. Who'd like to take it on?

-I think you should.

-All right. I will take it.

-Which Egghead would you like?

-How about Pat?

-It's going to be Ross and Pat playing Music.

Both please take your positions in the question room so there's no conferring.

Ross, now I see it up there in all its glory, I must say that is a magnificent pair of whiskers.

-Fantastic stuff.

-Thank you.

-Now first or second?

I'll go first.

This is your question, then.

Say You'll Be There became the second UK number one for which group in 1996?

Pop groups are not my forte,

but I don't think it was...

Boyzone.

-And I don't think it's Spice Girls, so I'm going to say Oasis.

-Oasis.

Clean-shaven, Oasis, usually.

It's the Spice Girls. Even more clean shaven.

Spice Girls, Say You'll Be There.

So, Pat,

what was the nationality of the composer Leo Delibes?

It sounds French.

I don't think he's Spanish.

-With a bit of trepidation, I'll opt for French.

-French.

French is the right answer. Well done.

Ross,

in the stage and film version of the Sound of Music, 16 Going On 17 is sung by Rolf

and which Von Trapp daughter?

This is a musical that I have studiously avoided all my life.

So...

I'm afraid this is going to be a blind guess. I will say Louisa.

OK, Louisa. In The Sound of Music,

it was sung by Rolf and Liesl.

Liesl. So...

Nothing there again.

Pat, the singer Luther Vandross was most closely associated with which musical genre?

I think he started off singing backing vocals for David Bowie,

but he was an extremely sophisticated R&B singer.

He had poor health towards the end and died quite young, but it's R&B.

A bit of extra information there.

It is the right answer. Luther Vandross associated with R&B.

That gives you the victory there.

Straight through to the final round. No place for you, Ross, sorry.

Both please rejoin your teams.

As it stands, the British Beard Club are one set of whiskers down and the Eggheads are all still there.

Our next subject today is Science.

Who'd like to play? Can't be Ross.

Is that me?

-Yes, go on, Roger.

-It's Science.

And you get to choose any Egghead apart from Pat.

-I think I'll go head-to-head with CJ.

-CJ.

-Beard? I bet you've had a 'tache.

-I haven't even started to shave yet.

Of course not! When you get to 16, you'll find out.

Let's have Roger and CJ into the question room, please.

-Roger, would you like to go first or second?

-I think I'll go second.

OK.

That means you're in, CJ. It's Science.

For what does the computing abbreviation Gb stand?

That would be gigabyte, Dermot.

Yeah, it is. Gigabyte is correct.

And your question, Roger.

What aspect of a car is a rack and pinion system most commonly used to control?

Well, exhausts are static.

Indicators, these days, are static, so it's the steering.

Rack and pinion - steering. Yes.

One each. CJ,

what's the scientific name for the family of creatures to which weasels belong?

I can't say I know this, but let's go on the language.

I'd assume that canidae is something to do with dogs

and ursidae is to do with bears. So let's try mustelidae.

OK. For weasels. You worked it out by eliminating the other two. It's the right answer.

What would mustel be?

-No? Don't know, Eggheads?

-Not that derivation.

CJ worked it out anyway. There we are. A point to you.

Roger, your second question.

A loon is what type of creature?

Ahh...

It's not an insect.

-And I'm pretty sure it's a bird. A bird.

-A bird?

A loon is a bird! Of course, yes.

Two each. CJ, third question.

Haumea, recently discovered in the region of the solar system known as the Kuiper Belt,

is what type of heavenly body?

I'd be surprised if it was comet.

The Kuiper Belt is a... long way away,

so to spot an asteroid that's there would be...

fairly good going.

The biggest of those three bodies is the dwarf planet

and because of the distance I'll try dwarf planet.

Dwarf planet. Working well, CJ. Bringing all the Egghead skills to bear. Dwarf planet is correct.

You've got to get this, Roger.

In the human body, the superior and inferior vena cavae are a pair of veins

that return the oxygenated blood to where specifically?

Well, if it's returning the oxygenated blood,

it won't be the brain.

I think it's the lungs.

The oxygenated blood returning to the heart.

I'm sure that's the other one you were thinking of.

Not the lungs. That means CJ has won the round.

CJ, you're playing in the final round. No place for you, Roger.

Both please rejoin your teams.

Two members of the British Beard Club have had a shaving so far.

They'll miss the final round. No Eggheads gone.

The category is Film and Television.

Who'd like to play that? David,

Martyn or Greg?

-I'll take it.

-All right, Martyn. Which Egghead would you like? It's Daphne, Kevin or Judith.

-I'll take Judith as she has lovely eyes.

-I use them to watch TV.

Lots of EastEnders. I've been asking the male members about their beard growth.

-What's your attitude to men with beards? Do you find it rough, tickly?

-No, I like it.

My husband had a beard, on and off.

But what happens... I'm asking about the smoochy bit. It's prickly.

The sort of beards over there are lovely. They're really soft. Designer stubble is the nightmare.

It's all prickly, bristly. Like a toothbrush.

-Let it go for a while.

-Let it go.

-For the kissing bit, I have this little gap here.

-Is that what that's for?

-Let's have separation in the question room.

Martyn and Judith are heading there to play Film and Television.

-Martyn, do you want to go first or second?

-Er, I'll go first, Dermot.

Martyn,

you're kicking off. Who played Harry Burns in the 1989 film When Harry Met Sally?

I love this film, but not for the male lead.

There's a particular scene in the restaurant that most people are familiar with.

And that marvellous scene was not opposite Tom Selleck or Steve Martin.

It's Billy Crystal.

That is absolutely right.

When Harry Met Sally.

First question to Judith.

Dusty Bin was the mascot and booby prize on which TV game show of the '70s and '80s?

I can't remember.

I don't think it's Blankety Blank. The whole joke was that the first prize was absolutely hopeless.

So they couldn't have a booby prize.

I think it was Sale of the Century.

Sale of the Century. Now, Daphne, you've been on Sale of the Century.

It definitely wasn't! 3-2-1.

-Did you ever go on 3-2-1 or Blankety Blank?

-No, they were game shows,

-not quiz shows.

-Right, exactly.

But prizes were what was attracting you.

-Yes.

-Minis and the rest of it.

Judith, it's 3-2-1. Dusty Bin for you in Eggheads. So you are behind.

This is looking good for the British Beard Club. Can Martyn get through?

This will enhance your chances.

Which TV mini-series set during WWII starred Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson

as husband and wife Guy and Harriet Pringle?

I don't know the answer.

The World At War was... a fantastic documentary series,

which I think Laurence Olivier did the voiceover for.

So it's a choice between the other two. Fortunes or Winds of War.

And...

I'm going to have to pick one. I'll go for Fortunes of War.

Fortunes of War.

You have got it! Two-nil.

Straight through to the final round if Judith doesn't get this.

What is the title of the US version of Strictly Come Dancing?

I think that is Dancing With The Stars.

Yes, it is. That's correct. Still in it.

But maybe not for long.

What is the name of the clown played by Reece Shearsmith

who is a children's entertainer in the TV comedy series Psychoville?

Sadly, I've only seen a few episodes,

but there's a classic moment with the clown courtroom.

As a clown, I should know the answer.

The one that stands out from those three is Mr Jelly.

There's a Mr Jelly and Mr Jolly.

Wobbly and Rubbery I don't remember. I'm going to go for Mr Jelly.

From one clown to another... You're in the final round! Correct!

They've taken that at a canter.

No place for Judith. Both please come back and join your teams.

Good news for the British Beard Club. They knocked an Egghead out, but two of them missing.

Our last head-to-head is coming up and this one is Geography.

Remaining players are David or Greg.

Who wants to play?

Would the team captain care to?

-OK.

-OK, David. Who would you like to play? Daphne or Kevin?

-Em, Kevin.

-Right, let's have David and Kevin into the question room.

So, David, what are the criteria for winning the beard championships?

Is it just length of beard?

No, there are 18 different categories of beard and moustache.

It's a question of choosing which one of those you're most comfortable with

and there's a lot of showmanship that goes with it.

A lot of people tend to wear very elaborate costumes in order to try to sway the judges.

The judges are meant to look at their facial proclivities and not necessarily the costumes,

-but it's all part of the fun.

-Right. Now let's play the round. It's Geography.

-First or second?

-First, please.

Going first, David.

Which Welsh town is located on the south-west shore of the Menai Strait?

Hmm. Now, let me see.

I think the Menai Strait must be up near where Anglesey is,

and I think Barry Island is down on the south of Wales, so it can't be Barry.

And...

I have a feeling that Prestatyn is on the coast, so I'm going to go for Prestatyn.

Prestatyn. On the Menai Strait?

-It's Caernarfon.

-Ah.

-Caernarfon.

A huge castle there.

Nothing there. Let's see how Kevin does with his first question.

The districts of Braintree and Brentwood are in which county?

They are in Essex.

-Yes, they are.

-Not much more to say.

-They are in Essex.

So you have the point there.

Niamey is the capital of which West African country?

I must say I'm not sure of this.

I've heard of it recently,

so...I'm going to say,

really a complete guess, it's Liberia.

Niamey is the capital of...

Niger.

Oh, bad luck, David. Let's get the other capitals for you. Liberia?

-Monrovia.

-Senegal?

-Dakar.

They just reel 'em off. All the capitals of the world.

Your question, Kevin, to win. What type of transportation system is the H-Bahn in Dortmund?

Interesting.

Not a place I've been to, Dortmund.

I've been to some of the other towns and cities round about there.

They are, in that area, which is the Ruhr,

a great industrial conurbation, keen on things like the monorails.

So I think,

although I've not heard of there being... There's a famous hanging monorail in Wuppertal,

which is not that far,

so I suppose there's no reason why there wouldn't be...

Yeah, because I don't know it, and I think there would be another letter designation for trams,

I'll go for the monorail.

The H-Bahn is...

a hanging monorail. It is correct.

So you're in the final round,

but, David, no place for you.

Both please rejoin your teams.

So this is what we've been playing towards. Time for the final round, General Knowledge.

But those who lost head-to-heads

won't be allowed to take part. So David, Ross and Roger and Judith from the Eggheads,

leave the studio now, please.

So, Martyn and Greg, you're playing to win £2,000.

Pat, Kevin, CJ and Daphne are playing for something money can't buy - the Eggheads' reputation.

I'll ask each team three questions in turn. They're all general knowledge and you can confer.

Are your two brains - and beards - better than the Eggheads' four?

-Martyn and Greg, would you like to go first or second?

-First again.

-First, please.

Martyn, Greg, good luck.

First question is this.

What is another name for an aircraft's landing gear?

Right. Fuselage is the long, rigid bit people sort of sit in when they're not wing walking.

-Tailfin is the sticky up bit at the back.

-The bit I could never get when I did Airfix models as a kid.

So I think it's the undercarriage.

-Undercarriage?

-Yep.

Undercarriage, please.

Landing gear. Absolutely right.

Undercarriage is correct.

Eggheads,

the bow and the blade are the two main parts of which everyday item?

-Surely, by definition, it's paperclip?

-The key?

The pointy bit's the blade and the round bit the bow?

Paperclip?

-Not telephone.

-I can't see it being telephone.

Not paperclip. Paperclips don't have...

You can get blade from paperclip.

And bow as in bowing outwards,

rather than a definition of a bow.

It's a verb rather than a noun.

-Oh, OK.

-So...

Are we going to go for key?

I don't know it, but OK.

Well, we are going to say that is definitely a key.

And it is the right answer. Bow and a blade.

Two main parts of a key.

Put the pressure back on them by getting this.

Your second question is which impresario was responsible for building London's Savoy Hotel?

Right, now, the thing is...

I'm immediately leaping to Richard d'Oyly Carte

because of the Savoy operettas.

My first thoughts were him as well.

Let's go for Mr d'Oyly.

We'll go for Richard d'Oyly Carte.

It IS Richard d'Oyly Carte. You knew your links there.

Yes, very good.

So you have two out of two. Eggheads, your second question, after almost being confounded

with the first, is this:

who managed the England football team for 67 matches?

Not Hoddle, surely. His reign was the shortest there.

-67.

-Sven had... A longish run.

A European and a World Cup. About five years?

Venables was...

He was there for a little while,

but I would think Eriksson is the likeliest

to have that number of matches.

Five years, 12 matches a year? It's plausible, isn't it?

-How long was Venables there? It wasn't five years.

-No.

-Sven definitely got five.

-He was the longest of the three.

Probably the most likely. We think Eriksson is most likely.

Simply on length of tenure.

As the spokesperson with no idea,

I'm told Sven Goran Eriksson.

Sven "Yoran" Eriksson.

23 for Venables, 28 for Hoddle and 67 for Eriksson.

It is the right answer.

So, again,

they're thinking. They're having to work hard

and you're getting yours so easily. Let's hope you skip over this one.

The art historian John Richardson is renowned for his multi-volume biography of which artist?

I can't say for certain,

but again gut instinct is Picasso.

Em, maybe it's my own snobbery,

but I can't see Andy Warhol having been dead long enough to have a multi-volume biography written yet.

-So I agree with you. Pablo.

-We're going to go for Pablo Picasso.

Pablo Picasso.

You've got it! Well done! Well worked out. A lot quicker than the Eggheads.

Which gives you a 3-2 lead and a chance of beating them,

but can they thwart you with this question?

Which important figure in British cinema was chairman and chief executive of Columbia Pictures

in the late 1980s?

Which important figure in British cinema was chairman

of Columbia Pictures in the late 1980s?

-It's David Puttnam. Is that quick enough?

-Lord Puttnam now.

Yes. All square. And we go to sudden death,

which as you know means we take away the options. We just need an answer.

This is your question. Spyglass Hill is a location in which 1883 novel?

Spyglass Hill is a location in which 1883 novel?

Arrr! I'm thinking piratical about this one. It has a hint of treasure maps.

-One-legged sailors.

-There's the Black Spot.

-Old Pugh.

-Shall we go for that?

-Treasure Island?

-Treasure Island.

You know it very well. It's the right answer. Treasure Island.

Eggheads,

which word for the ability to find pleasing things by chance was coined by Horace Walpole

from a Persian fairytale about three princes who had this gift?

-Serendipity?

-That would be serendipity.

-It's the right answer. Can you give me the root?

-Something to do with Ceylon?

-Serendip.

-Three Princes of Serendip. An ancient name for Sri Lanka.

Back to the British Beard Club.

The word "nip" when referring to a small measure of a spirit, such as whisky,

is a shortened form of which word?

Alas, I'm more a beer than shorts man, so...

I'm too tall for shorts.

Nip...?

We'll have to take a guess, so let's have a think.

Nipple?

-Nothing's coming to mind.

-No. A beard gets useful when you can stroke it like this.

Twiddle it.

I've got nothing here.

-Shall we go with your original...?

-Nipple!

-Nipple.

-Nipple!

We wanted a longer version of nip. Nipple is incorrect.

What a surprise(!)

Not a shorts man, as you said.

Do you know, Eggheads? Nip is a shortened version of...?

Nipkin?

Daphne has it. Nipperkin. Nipperkin.

Origin uncertain, but it's nipperkin. Nipperkin.

And Daphne on it there. Would have given me a problem. Nipkin - I'm not sure.

-You did say nipperkin.

-Yes.

-OK, a chance for the Eggheads to win what has been a great game.

If they don't get it, we continue.

Which word refers to both the basic currency of Botswana

and a Croatian town that contains an elliptical Roman amphitheatre,

dating from the 1st century AD?

Yeah, yeah.

That would be Pula. P-U-L-A.

DAPHNE: Just in case.

It's the correct answer. You've won.

That's been a fantastic game,

crowned by that wonderful final round. Well played, you guys.

It took two cracking questions there. The Botswanan currency - I guess you talk of little else!

We will at the next meeting.

Thank you so much for being such a wonderful team and telling us so much about the world of beards!

But the Eggheads still reign supreme over quiz land.

You won't be going home with the £2,000, so it rolls over to the next show. Congratulations.

Who will beat you?

Join us next time to see if a new team can defeat the Eggheads. £3,000 says they don't.

Until then, goodbye.

Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd - 2010

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