Episode 145 Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to Eggheads, the show where a team of five quiz challengers

attempt to beat possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

Their quiz pedigree is well-known as they've won some of the country's toughest quiz shows.

They are the Eggheads.

And taking on the awesome might of our quiz Goliaths today

are the Five Marketeers.

This team of colleagues all work together in the marketing department

of an association for accountants based in Chesterfield.

So, let's meet them.

Hi, I'm Steven, I'm 20, and I'm a marketing assistant.

Hello, my name's Sue, I'm 40, and I'm Head of Marketing.

Hi, I'm Luke, I'm 36 years old, and I'm a marketing consultant.

Hello, I'm Tom, I'm 21 years old, and I'm a marketing assistant.

Hello, I'm Susan, I'm 50, and I'm Communications Coordinator.

Steven and team, great to have you here.

Nice being here!

-You're accountants who work with accountants, right?

-Yes.

We're an association of accountants,

so we help them become more profitable,

make their practices more enjoyable to run,

and save them tax, um, just save them money, really.

-So, accountancy can be enjoyable, can it?

-It can at times, yes.

-Rarely!

-That's completely a revelation!

You were an accountant, weren't you, Barry?

I've never practised as one, but I do have an accountancy degree.

Cos you were at some point aiming to be an accountant...

No, I just wanted to understand a bit more about business

and how it worked.

What's the famous thing about auditors?

-People who found accountancy too exciting.

-Yes, I have heard that!

Yeah. OK, and what made you assemble this team, Steven?

Well, there's five of us in the marketing team,

and we were snowbound at a marketing event,

and a few of us managed to get home in a 4x4.

It had a fancy TV and we were watching the Eggheads,

and I just brought it up as a joke, really.

Then one day I just said, "Oh, by the way, I entered us," and here we are.

Fantastic!

-So snowbound at a marketing event?

-Yes.

-This is a good story!

It's like the plot from Misery, isn't it?

OK, every day there is £1,000 worth of cash up for grabs.

However, if they fail to defeat the Eggheads,

the prize money rolls over to the next show.

So, Five Marketeers,

I can tell you the Eggheads have won the last three games,

so £4,000 says you can't beat them today.

I see you've already taken the tax off that in your minds!

The first head-to-head battle will be on Music,

-so which of you would like this one, challengers?

-It's Sue.

-It's going to be you!

-That's me, Jeremy.

OK, Sue on Music, against which Egghead?

-You've got the pick of the crop here.

-Barry?

-Barry.

OK, Barry. Barry, please.

You want our undercover accountant?

Barry on Music against Sue from the Five Marketeers.

And to ensure there's no conferring,

would you please take your positions in the Question Room?

So Sue, as well as being an accountant, you love your music?

-I do.

-Tell us what you're into.

Um, classic rock mainly, but quite a lot of other stuff as well,

and my guilty pleasure is Take That.

-Well, they are very, very successful again, aren't they?

-They are indeed.

And classic rock meaning AC/DC and Motorhead or a bit more Bon Jovi?

Yeah, not particularly Motorhead, that's a little bit too heavy,

but I love AC/DC, Foo Fighters, although they're not so classic,

but Bon Jovi, Aerosmith's my favourite group.

-Do you do any air guitar, Barry, yourself?

-I'm afraid I do!

It's mostly to Dire Straits music.

I wondered what that thumping sound was in your dressing room!

OK, I'll ask each of you three multiple choice questions on Music in turn.

Sue, I know you know that.

You can choose the first or the second set of questions.

I'll go first, please, Jeremy.

Here we go with your first question, Sue.

How old was Michael Jackson at the time of his death in 2009?

I actually do know this one.

He was 50, Jeremy.

You're right, he was 50.

Barry, your question.

According to the lyrics of Elvis Presley's hit

Return To Sender, as well as "no such number,"

"no such zone" and "return to sender,"

what does the recipient write on the letter?

Ah-h-h, "no such number."

It's "address unknown!"

# She wrote upon it... #

That's right, "address unknown."

Not doing any more!

No matter how much you may beg me, CJ! Sue, your question.

What is the title of James Blunt's third studio album released in 2010?

I was hoping for a non-recent one.

This will be a pure guess, cos I don't really know James Blunt.

I'm going to go down the middle with Some Kind Of Wonderful, please.

It is not Some kind Of Wonderful. It's Some Kind Of Trouble.

So, Barry, your chance to take the lead.

In the 1970s, Mike Oldfield had a UK top ten single with a version

of which Christmas carol?

Oh, I was hoping this would be a question on Tubular Bells

or Hergest Ridge!

Not sure on this one.

It's again going to have to be a guess.

But given Mike Oldfield's penchant for having strange names,

I'll go for In Dulci Jubilo.

Did you say "given his pension?"

-Penchant.

-Oh, penchant!

I thought you'd slipped back into accountancy mode there!

-You answer is In Dulci Dubilo.

-Mm-hmm.

And it's right, Barry! You've taken the lead.

So, Sue, you need to get this one right.

Doing What Comes Naturally

and The Girl That I Marry are songs from which musical?

Again, I'm not too sure on this one,

but I think it might be Annie Get Your Gun.

If Daphne was here, I would ask her,

cos it's her scene. Do you know, Barry?

It's Annie get Your Gun.

Annie Get your Gun is right, Sue. So you've got two points.

Barry's got two. If he gets his third question right,

he will be in the final, though.

So Solid Crew's 2002 UK hit single

Ride Wid Us samples the theme music from which TV show?

Gosh, you don't honestly expect me to know the answer to this one?

Ride With Us.

Well, I don't think it's Airwolf then, if you're riding.

It could be the A-Team in their van or it could be Knight Rider,

but I've got an inkling that it was Knight Rider,

so I'll go for Knight Rider.

And Knight Rider has got the word ride in as well.

It's the right answer, Barry, so you're through to the final.

Sue, sorry, you've been knocked out, three points to two.

Just saying the scores cos I know you like it

exact in the accountants' team.

Bad luck, but it's early days.

Please, both of you, come back and rejoin your teams.

Well, bad luck, Sue.

Steven, any thoughts now about rearranging the deckchairs?

What deckchairs? THEY LAUGH

-The tactics, you know?

-Oh, right, no.

We thought we wouldn't win, so...

-Don't say that!

-Listen, you can win!

-It was only four games ago, wasn't it?

-Oh, yes!

-Got taken apart

by a team that make Blackpool rock for a living.

As it stands, the challengers have lost one brain from the final round,

the Eggheads have lost no brains.

The next subject is Sport. Now, who would like this?

-Tom.

-Oh, yeah, Tom.

OK, so Tom on Sport, and which Egghead, Tom?

-SUSAN:

-What do you think? Judith?

CJ?

CJ.

-Pat, Pat.

-It's got to be!

-You reckon?

-Pat, Pat, yeah.

-Pat.

-Shall we go for Pat?

-I'll take Pat on.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Pat, please.

So, Tom from the Five Marketeers against Pat from the Eggheads,

and the subject is Sport. Please go to the Question Room.

Tom, do you like Sport?

I am very happy to have this category, yes, Jeremy.

As a category and also as maybe something you watch on weekends?

Yes. Plenty of it. Football, mainly.

Erm, I'm a big Leeds United fan, so, yes.

One day somebody will arrive and they'll say they like a really unusual sport,

but for ages now it's just been football, hasn't it, Pat?

Yes, yeah. That's true.

We haven't had anyone say they like, I don't know, hurling or...

The hurling enthusiasts have been notable by their absence.

When you learn your lists, Pat, for these quizzes, as I'm sure you do...

-Oh, dear me, Jeremy!

-..although you deny it!

Which is the most obscure sport in the Olympics that you had to

get across?

I forced myself to read about Olympic handball.

-I can't watch it, though, because I find it very tedious.

-Handball?

Is that where you throw things...?

It's where a team throw the ball to each other

and finally fling it into a goal.

That's a bit obscure.

It's very popular on the continent, but it's not big in England.

You any good on handball, Tom?

-I can't say I am, no, to be honest, Jeremy.

-OK, let's see if it comes up!

You never know!

Do you want the first or the second set of questions, Tom?

I shall go for first, please.

Here we go, and good luck to you.

According to the rules of darts, for a standard game,

the board should be set up so that the centre of the bull's-eye

is how high off the floor?

I do watch quite a lot of darts, and I have got a dartboard at home,

and I haven't got a clue what the answer is.

4'8 seems a little bit too small.

Erm, 6'8 seems a little bit too big.

Yeah, on that basis, I'm going to go for 5'8. Straight down the middle.

Now, Kevin's been handy at darts in the past.

Kevin?

That's right, yeah, 5'8.

5'8 is the right answer, well done.

You ever get a 180, Kevin?

I have, many, many years ago,

but I haven't actually played it much in recent years.

When I was in my late teens, early twenties, I was reasonable,

but as I say, the magic has gone a bit.

Yeah. I can't think of another question.

It's like that, darts, isn't it?

It is a bit, yes.

Pat, the football team Dynamo Kiev

play in which country's Premier League?

Well, all those countries have active soccer leagues.

But I think Dynamo Kiev scrap it out with Shakhtar Donetsk

and the lads in the Ukraine.

Ukraine is the right answer, Pat, well done!

So, one point each, and we go back to you, Tom.

Tiger Woods won the 2000 US Open by a Major record margin

of how many strokes?

-And, obviously, the word Major's got a capital M there.

-Right, OK.

I'm pretty sure it's not five. That's not enough.

He won by more than that, I think.

I've got a feeling he really did win by quite a big margin.

Well, obviously he did, cos that's the question!

I'm not going to go with 15, actually, I'm going to go with ten.

Straight down the middle again.

Ah, but it's wrong!

15 was the right answer!

The logic worked for the darts, but not for Tiger.

Pat, here's your question.

1-1. England international cricketer Jonathan Trott

made his first class debut in 2003 for which county?

I don't know much about Jonathan Trott.

Who would he play for?

A lot of overseas players play for Lancashire,

but for some reason, I don't think I fancy that.

This is entirely guesswork.

I think I'll go for Warwickshire, but it's really a guess.

I'll go for Warwickshire.

Barry likes that. Barry?

-It is Warwickshire, yes.

-Warwickshire's right. Well done.

So, he's taken the lead, Tom. You've got to get this one right.

The Irish journalist Michael Morris was president of which

sporting body from 1972-1980?

Well, I've not got a clue, to be honest.

I possibly would have heard it if it was FIFA.

So I'm going to rule that one out.

RFU. You know, obviously rugby's big in Ireland.

Erm, so for that reason, I'll go for the RFU.

It's a guess.

It's not the RFU, I'm afraid.

It's the IOC - International Olympic Committee. Is that right?

-CJ:

-Yep.

So, sorry, you have been knocked out by Pat, and that means

Pat will be in the final, Tom, and you won't be.

Do, please, both of you, come back and rejoin your teams.

OK, as it stands,

the challengers have lost two brains from the final round.

The Eggheads have not lost a brain.

The next subject is Geography.

Now, who would like this?

Tom?! THEY LAUGH

Tom, you've been! Your second choice. What a shame!

And you've seen how bad I am at Sport, so...

Well, no, you weren't that bad at Sport, but it can't be you, anyway.

-No.

-It's got to be either Susan or Luke or Steven himself.

What do you think? It's got to be you.

-Yeah.

-Steven from the Five Marketeers against which Egghead?

Why do I think I know who you're going to choose?

Judith, please.

OK, we'll find out why in just a sec.

Judith from the Eggheads against Steven,

please go to the Question Room now.

So, Steven, I said I thought you were going to choose Judith,

because I think you were just determined to, weren't you?

Yes, I was hoping that I'd get Judith, that she hadn't gone already.

I either wanted Kevin or Judith, and Kevin's a bit...

He's a quiz Goliath, and Judith is as well,

but Kevin's a bit scarier, so...

Well, yeah, Judith is a quiz Goliath in her own tidy way.

In my own small way.

In your own small way, when there is money on offer!

Oh, thanks, Jeremy!

When you can stir yourself!

OK, I will ask each of you three questions on Geography in turn,

and Steven, would you like the first or the second set of questions?

I'll go first, please.

Here we go with your first question. Good luck.

The Shrine of the Bab is a feature of the Port of Haifa

in which country?

Could I go second, please?

I've never heard of it, actually.

They have a lot of shrines in Egypt.

They probably have shrines in all of them, actually. Um...

It's a pure guess, but my eye is drawn to Egypt,

so that's what I'll say.

Egypt.

OK, it's Israel, Steven. I'm sorry.

But you're only 20, right?

You haven't been there yet, so... Judith, also in her prime -

the Sulu Sea is part of which ocean?

-S-UL-U?

-S-U-L-U.

Oh, God.

Erm, when in doubt...

I mean, I've heard of the Sulu Sea

and it's gone out of my head where it is.

I'm going to risk the Pacific.

Pacific is the right answer.

They have this thing about going for the Pacific when it comes up.

Oh, it's so galling when in works.

OK, Steven...

Sumburgh Airport is the main airport serving which island?

I didn't think, I'm probably wrong, that they had an airport in Guernsey.

Erm...

I've not heard it on the Isle of Wight.

So, I'm going to say, Shetland.

Well done, Steven, Shetland is the right answer.

How does that feel, your first question right on Eggheads?

I at least wanted to get one right today.

You have done, you have done.

Judith, Jesmond, Haymarket and Ilford Road

are stations on which city's underground railway system?

Well, not London.

Erm, I'm not sure.

I think it might be Newcastle.

Newcastle Upon Tyne is the right answer. Well done.

Judith has two and you have one, Steven.

That means, this one you have to get right or she has won the round.

Good luck.

Balochistan is the name of an arid, mountainous region

that includes parts of Iran, Pakistan and which other country?

Mmm...

I was actually looking up about mountains

in preparation for the show.

And with a lot of mountain ranges, it's crossed over in Afghanistan.

Whether that's just a coincidence, I'm not sure.

It's going to be another guess, unfortunately.

Erm...

I'm going to say, Afghanistan.

OK...

A good bit of logic there from your revision.

-Eggheads...

-Afghanistan.

Afghanistan is the right answer, Steve. Well played.

Judith, your question for the round.

The Pelagie Islands in the Mediterranean Sea

are territories of which country?

I think it's, erm... It doesn't sound Greek to me.

Or, French. So, I'm going to go for Italy.

Judith, you have got three out of three, Italy is the right answer.

Sorry, Steven, you've been knocked out. What a blow!

Do both of you come back and we'll play the next round.

The Challengers have lost three brains from the final round,

the Eggheads have lost no brains. Let's see what happens now,

the last subject is Politics.

-Oh, no!

-Who would like this?

-OK, which one?

-Susan or Luke?

I think a process of elimination, I'll go.

-Go on, then, Luke.

-Well volunteered.

So it's going to be Luke against CJ or Kevin.

I'll take on Kevin. Kevin, go on.

Luke from the Five Marketeers, Kevin on Politics? Let's see what happens.

To ensure there's no conferring, would you take your positions

in the Question Room.

I will ask each of you three questions on Politics in turn.

Luke, would you like the first or second set of questions?

I'll go second, please.

OK, so Kevin on Politics, here we go.

What was the term for the method of allocating votes

at a Labour Party conference whereby unions cast the whole

of their affiliated vote behind a proposal?

I don't think I've heard of the other two terms

but there was a Block Vote. I'll go for Block Vote.

Block Vote is the right answer. Yes, well done.

Luke, your question.

The Consumer Prices Index or CPI is used to measure the level of what?

It's certainly not immigration and I don't think it's taxation.

So, process of elimination, inflation.

Elimination, inflation...

-Correct.

-Thank you very much.

Inflation is the correct answer, well done.

Kevin...

One of Peter Mandelson's first jobs

was as a producer on which television programme?

Mmm... I mean they're all of a reasonable vintage, aren't they?

Newsnight is younger than the other two.

But, erm...

I don't know, I'll.. Weekend World was presented for a long time

by Brian Walden, who had strong Labour credentials.

On that basis, I'll go for Weekend World.

Yeah, Weekend World is right.

-I think Bryan Gould was on it at the same time.

-Yes.

A whole load of them, actually, on that famous programme.

-I wish he'd got that wrong, Luke.

-So, do I!

You had the edge there and you could have streaked through.

In England and Wales, justices of the peace

are appointed on behalf of the Crown by which cabinet member?

I don't think it will be the Home Secretary.

Er, Civil Service Minister sounds logical.

Based on that, I'm going to go for Lord Chancellor.

-Based on the Civil Service Minister sounding logical?

-Yes.

LAUGHTER

Well, I'm glad you did, you got it right. Well done.

OK, third question. Kevin...

In 2010 Doris Leuthard became president of the Federal Council

of which country?

Well, Sweden has a prime minister and cabinet arrangement.

Slovenia, I believe, has both a president and a prime minister.

Switzerland is a federation

and she's got a good Swiss sounding name there,

so we'll say, Switzerland.

Switzerland is the right answer.

You've got three out of three, which he's made a habit of doing, Luke.

You need to get this question right or you'll be knocked out.

What position on the Opposition front bench did Enoch Powell hold

at the time of his infamous 1968 Rivers Of Blood speech?

A very infamous speech.

So infamous, I don't know the answer.

Erm...

I'd eliminate Health Secretary.

I'm trying to think of a lot of the large chunks of the speech.

I'm trying to think of what kind of...

..position of the Shadow Cabinet he'd hold to make those comments.

It's going to be a guess. I'm going for Chancellor. Shadow Chancellor.

I don't know if his job title had anything to do with the speech.

I suppose, if you put the two together

you might come up with Shadow Defence Secretary.

Shadow Defence Secretary is the answer.

It's not Shadow Chancellor.

Kevin has won the round,

as he tends to do with alarming regularity.

He'll be in the final, and I'm afraid you won't be.

Do come back and we'll play the final round.

This is what we've been playing towards,

it is time for the final round, which is General Knowledge.

I'm afraid those of you who lost your head-to-heads

won't be allowed to take part in this round.

So, pains me to say it, Steven, Sue, Luke and Tom,

from the Five Marketeers, who are going to go down to one!

Would you please now leave the studio.

All right, Susan, you're playing to win the Five Marketeers,

the other four, £4,000.

Barry, Pat, Judith, Kevin and CJ,

you're playing for something money can't buy, the Eggheads' reputation.

As usual, I will ask each team three questions in turn.

The questions are general knowledge. You are allowed to confer.

Susan, the question is, is your one brain better than the Eggheads five?

-Would you like to fire away?

-Yes, I'll go first, please.

Here's your first question, Sue.

Tsar Alexis Mikhailovich, who died in 1676,

was the father of which historical figure?

Sorry, could you repeat his name.

Tsar Alexis Mikhailovich ...

I'm assuming it was Russia.

Genghis Khan, I don't think, was Russia as it was.

Ivan The Terrible, I have a feeling, was earlier.

But I could be wrong.

I'm going for Peter The Great.

Peter The Great is the right answer. Susan, well done.

They are pleased backstage. Eggheads, your question.

A statue by Joseph Boehm of which scientist

is prominently displayed at the Natural History Museum?

Boehm is spelt, B-O-E-H-M.

-Does anybody just...

-Has anyone been?

I have, but it's years and years, I have to admit.

-If it's the Natural History Museum..

-You have to assume it's Darwin.

-Logic says Darwin, doesn't it?

-But it's not guaranteed.

There's no particular... I mean, Herschel was astronomy and physics.

-Boyle was chemistry.

-Yeah. It's got to be Darwin.

I think it's got to be Darwin.

And it's the first question, obvious answer.

-I think we'll have to go for it.

-Darwin, guys, OK.

We will go for Charles Darwin, please.

Charles Darwin is correct.

OK, one point each. Back to you, Susan.

Which actor, a BAFTA Rising Star award winner,

directed the films Adulthood and 4, 3, 2, 1?

Erm...

As far as I know, Matt Smith hasn't directed a film.

John Simm, again, I haven't heard of anything. Erm...

I think Noel Clarke has, so I'll go for Noel Clarke.

Well played, you're right again.

Noel Clarke, it is. Two out of two.

This is getting interesting.

The Eggheads just starting to sweat very gently under the lights.

American Smooth is the name given to a category of dances

in American-style ballroom competitions that comprises

the Waltz, Viennese Waltz, Tango and which other?

I am learning ballroom dancing at the moment

-and I think American Smooth is a Quickstep.

-Do you?

Yes, because that's always classified alongside the Waltz.

Oh, right, OK.

Unless anybody has any objections.

No, not really.

I think it's a Quickstep, I'm not 100% certain,

but I think it's a Quickstep.

I mean, the Foxtrot is just a development of the Quickstep?

The Quickstep is more of a smoother dance than the Foxtrot, anyway.

Barry, who is learning ballroom dancing,

has advised us it is a Quickstep.

Anyone else have an opinion?

-None whatsoever.

-Nothing at all.

So we're happy to go with Barry's expertise.

You shouldn't be, because it's wrong! It's Foxtrot.

I am sorry, chaps.

-It's all right.

-I thought it was Quickstep.

-We didn't know.

Well, well, well... They've fallen over

their own shoelaces.

Sprawled on the dance floor.

Susan, you have a chance to take the money for your lovely team,

the Five Marketeers. Down to one...

If you get this question right, you've won the contest.

Julian Mitchell's play, Another Country,

is based on the early life of which figure from 20th century history?

If you get this right, you've taken the contest.

OK, erm...

Another Country, erm...

Obviously, they're all spy-related...

Erm...

I feel it could be any of them.

But... I'm going to go for...

Guy Burgess.

What's your logic there?

I may be wrong, did he defect to the Soviet Union?

I could be wrong, but I'm going for him.

If you've got this right, you've won.

The Eggheads are all here

in their combined massed forces, their massive intellects.

-Eggheads, is she right?

-Yep.

Congratulations, Susan, you're right, it's Guy Burgess.

-You've won!

-Thank you.

-Well...

-I'm surprised.

It's just like... Bang!

You were completely silent on the end of the table

and you come in and storm the whole thing.

Were you the secret weapon?

They kept saying I was, but I was very unsure at the time.

You're too modest.

-Well done, what a brilliantly played game.

-Thank you.

That's why Eggheads is so fantastic.

Oh, guys, you're going to have to go off and learn the Foxtrot.

Congratulations, you've just won £4,000. You are officially cleverer than the Eggheads.

You've proved that they can be beaten.

Join us next time on Eggheads, to see if a new team of challengers

will be just as successful as the Five Marketeers.

Until then, goodbye!

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