Episode 98 Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads.

Arguably, the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is - can they be beaten?

Welcome to Eggheads. The show where a team of five quiz Challengers

pit their wits against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

-They are the Eggheads. How are you feeling?

-Brilliant.

-Top of the world.

"Top of the world," says Barry at the end.

Challenging our resident quiz champions today are

We Don't Need No Education.

This team of friends regularly quiz together at the Mini Bar in Glasgow.

So let's meet them.

Hi, my name's Paul and I'm a science and AV technician.

Hi, my name's Martin and I'm a PhD student studying physics.

Hi, my name's Craig. I'm a home support worker.

Hi, my name's Gordon and I'm a principal teacher

of physical education.

Hi, my name is Sam and I'm a physics teacher.

So, Paul and team, welcome. Good to see you.

-ALL:

-Thank you.

-I gather you set the questions, Paul. Is that right?

-Yes.

Yes, I have my moments.

Do you find you learn stuff by setting questions?

You kind of gauge stuff. The level of intelligence for each place.

-Oh, really?

-Some are lower than others.

So certain hostelries in Glasgow where you set them at a lower level.

-Quite a lot of them are lower level.

-LAUGHTER

Don't identify them, we'll lose them.

We'll lose them from the audience.

-You're all quizzers, I know, aren't you?

-Yes.

-What are his questions like? Are they tough?

-They can be tough at times.

-Random.

-They're random.

-Very much.

Why are you called We Don't Need No Education?

Which, of course, is a quote from Pink Floyd.

Yes, three of us work in education.

Martin is in education and Craig can spell education.

Well, that's a good reason, yeah. So here we go.

Every day there is £1,000 worth of cash up for grabs

for our Challengers. However, if they fail to defeat the Eggheads,

the prize money rolls over to the next show.

So, We Don't Need No Education,

the Eggheads have won the last six games.

They are putting a run together here. They're beginning to swagger.

You need to stop them. If you do, you'll win £7,000.

-Would you like to go ahead and try? ALL:

-Yes, please.

All right.

The first head-to-head battle is on the subject of Politics.

Whose round is this?

-That's not me.

-I'll suppose I'll take it.

-That's Sam.

-Do you think, Sam?

-Sam on the end?

-Sam's the taker.

-OK. Physics teacher.

-Yes.

-P and a C and an S. Physics, politics.

Yes, there's overlap for sure.

Who would you like to go against? Anyone of the five.

-I think Dave maybe.

-I think Dave.

-Dave.

-Dave.

-OK, Dave.

The word Dave has come back down the line.

Dave, I think it is going to be you.

-Is that all right?

-It's going to be me.

Sam, from We Don't Need No Education versus Dave from the Eggheads.

And just to ensure there's no conferring, guys,

take your positions in our Question Room.

Good luck. Sam against Tremendous Knowledge Dave.

-Good luck, Dave, as well.

-Thank you.

-Here we go.

-So, Sam, do you want to go first or second?

-I'll go first.

Here's your question.

Whom did David Cameron succeed as

leader of the Conservative Party in 2005?

I'm pretty sure it's not Michael Howard.

And I know William Hague was in the running.

I'm going to go for William Hague, I think.

Yes, so after they lost in '97, John Major resigned,

William Hague took over.

After he lost in 2001, Iain Duncan Smith took over but he didn't last

very long and it was Michael Howard who fought the 2005 election

as Tory leader.

And then he was replaced by David Cameron.

So Michael Howard is the answer.

OK, Dave, your question.

In 2013 a Liberal-National coalition came to power, putting

the Labor Party in opposition after a federal election in which country?

Can you just repeat the question just so I can get it

clear in my head? Sorry about this.

In 2013 a Liberal-National coalition came to power, putting

the Labor Party in opposition after a federal election in which country?

Um, I've got to go Australia on that basis.

Yes, Australia is the right answer.

Sam, back to you.

Who told undercover reporters in 2015 that his usual fee for

half a day's work was somewhere in the region of £5,000 to £8,000?

I believe that was Malcolm Rifkind.

Yes, Malcolm Rifkind is the answer.

Nice work if you can get it, Eggs.

Dave, Tremendous Knowledge Dave, your second question.

Which singer made an unsuccessful bid to become Irish president in 1997?

I'm sorry, but Van Morrison!

Right, I don't believe it's Van Morrison.

Um, Johnny Logan, I think he's Australian anyway

but has represented Ireland in the Eurovision Song Contest.

But I seem to remember under her real name of Rosemary Brown

that Dana was very active in Irish politics.

That's my answer, Dana.

Dana is right, Dave. And Van is British, isn't he?

-He's from Northern Ireland.

-Yes, he is but it's just, as I said,

it's just the thought of him, his presidential campaign,

that has conjured some strange images in my head.

-He'd be in a bad mood throughout.

-Yes, he would!

Somebody told me their friend was

working in a hotel in Northern Ireland.

They were playing Van Morrison on the speakers and one of the guests said,

"Would you mind turning the music down?" And she said, "Yeah, sure.

"I mean, to be honest, a lot of people have complained about it."

Unfortunately, the music was by Van Morrison

but the guest who was asking was Van Morrison as well.

OK, over to you, Sam. You need to get this one right.

Who became the youngest MP in the House of Commons

when she was elected to Parliament in 2010 at the age of 25?

I'm not sure but on the basis of the person I've actually heard of,

I'm going to go for Louise Mensch.

Yes, she would have been Louise Bagshawe when she was elected

but she's not the answer, in fact.

Nor is it Gloria. The answer is Pamela Nash.

Dave, you've won the round. Back on track. Sorry, Sam,

you've been knocked out.

Please come back to us, both of you, and we'll play on.

So as it stands, We Don't Need No Education

have lost a brain. Sorry, Sam. Eggheads are still intact.

Dave's confidence coming back after a tricky time.

Let's play the next round. It's Music.

-Who would like this?

-CJ. Craig.

-I think he's the only person to look at here.

-That's Craig, isn't it?

-Craig, you are the music man.

-I am.

-OK, who would you like to take on?

-Chris.

-Chris.

-Yeah, I think we'll go with Chris.

-OK, good stuff.

So it's going to be Craig from We Don't Need No Education.

-Chris on Music. Is that up your street?

-It depends what it is.

-As long as it is not rap, I don't mind.

-OK.

Please go to our famous Question Room.

-Craig, you love music, I can tell.

-I do, yes.

-And you're in a band?

-I am, yes.

-Tell us about it.

-We're called The Fast Camels.

We are a kind of psychedelic rock outfit.

We've got a couple of festivals to look forward to

-that we're playing in the summer.

-And what do you play yourself?

I am backing vocals and tambourine.

-Oh, right. That's unusual.

-Well, yes, sometimes.

So I'm thinking, based on Pink Floyd, whose name who has come up already...

-Well...

-..that's psychedelic rock?

More the older stuff.

More the kind of psychedelic East Coast New York stuff.

-Give us a band you like.

-Third Bardo.

-Third Bardo?

-The Third Bardo.

-Have you ever heard of them?

-Third Bardo. I haven't.

-OK, listen to them when you get in. You'll love them.

-I will do.

-And instrumental more or singing?

-More singing and very loud guitars.

-Chris, have you heard of Third Bardo?

-I'd be lying if I said I had.

We've run into the sidings, to use a train term there.

Shall we start the round? Craig,

do you want to go first or second on Music?

I think I'll go first, please.

Good luck.

Who's breakthrough as a performing artist

came about as a result of working as Bette Midler's piano player?

Who's breakthrough as a performing artist

came about as a result of working as Bette Midler's piano player?

I'm not sure that it would be Jerry Lee Lewis.

I'm not sure about the other two. I'll go for Barry Manilow.

Yes, spot-on. Barry Manilow it is.

I think the other two were such brilliant egomaniacs,

they would never have played piano for another person, would they?

-Dave...

-No, I don't think so.

-..is that fair?

I think that's fair on Freddie, isn't it?

I'm not seeing Jerry Lee Lewis' style

mixing really with Bette Midler.

-No, cos he stood on the piano and kicked it and everything else.

-Yes.

OK, so well done, Craig. We go over to the Shunter, Chris Hughes.

Dancing On The Ceiling, Penny Lover and Stuck On You

were hits for which singer?

Dancing On The Ceiling, Penny Lover and Stuck On You

were hits for which singer?

Uh, not Chris de Burgh, he's Lady In Red.

Not Phil Collins either. Lionel Richie.

Lionel Richie is the correct answer, yes. You know those, Chris?

-Dancing On The Ceiling and all that?

-I've never tried it.

JEREMY LAUGHS

OK, Craig, back to you.

No mention yet of Third Bardo but we're hopeful.

Gaz Coombes was the lead singer with which band who had their first

hits in the mid-1990s?

Uh, I'm quite confident about this one, Jeremy.

I'd like to say Supergrass, please.

Supergrass is the right answer, brilliant.

OK, Chris, back to you to catch up.

Who was named Best British Female Solo Artist

at the 2015 Brit Awards?

I think I'd have remembered if it was Paloma Faith

cos I like her and I don't think she was named.

I've never heard of FKA twigs so I'll go with Ella Henderson.

-No, it's Paloma Faith.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

-Oh, right.

-She's really at the top of her game at the moment.

-Yes.

Writes all her own stuff, nearly all her own stuff. Yeah, she's the one.

-Mm-hm.

-She is the one.

So, Chris has got one wrong.

If you get this right, you've knocked him out. Craig, your question.

What title was shared by a series of pop medley singles released

under the group name Star Sound that proved popular in the early 1980s?

What title was shared by a series of pop medley singles released

under the group name Star Sound that proved popular in the early 1980s?

I also know this one, Jeremy,

cos my parents had these albums or singles, whatever they were.

It Stars On 45.

-Funny, no-one will ever admit to owning them themselves.

-Well...

The answer is indeed Stars On 45. Well done, Craig. Three out of three.

Perfect performance from a musician. You're in the final round.

And Chris has been knocked out. Sorry, Chris.

You all right about it?

-What's the point of being otherwise?

-Well, that's very philosophical.

Please come back, rejoin your teams and we'll play Round Three.

So, We Don't Need No Education have lost a brain from the final round.

The Eggheads have lost one too.

And the crucial third round is on Film & Television,

so who would like this?

-Martin or Paul.

-What do you think? You go.

-I'll take it on.

OK, the skipper. Science and AV technician. Against which Egghead?

-What do you think?

-What do you think? Judith?

-Yeah, go for Judith.

-Judith.

-Right.

So it's going to be Paul from We Don't Need No Education

and our own Judith.

-We're still searching for a nickname. We've had some suggested.

-Have you?

-The Duchess.

-Oh, that's boring.

-The Millionairess.

-That's even more boring.

-Even more boring.

We need something else. Kensington Central.

-Oh, please!

-The Lady.

-The Lady.

-Oh, no, please.

-That's Mrs Thatcher.

-No.

-The Keppel Meister.

-The what?

-The Keppel Meister, yeah.

-The Keppel Meister.

The Keppel Meister.

THEY LAUGH

To ensure there's no conferring, please go to our Question Room.

So Film & TV, Paul. And would you like to go first or second?

I'll go first, please.

Your first question comes now.

Kate Winslet received her first leading actress Oscar nomination

for which film?

I don't think it's The Holiday.

Um...

..I think I'm going to go with Titanic.

It is indeed Titanic, well done. Well done.

Judith.

"These aren't the droids you're looking for,"

is a line from which 1977 film?

-I think it's Star Wars.

-It is cos that was in '77, yeah.

-Yes.

OK, back to you, Paul.

When Nature Calls is the subtitle of the sequel to which Jim Carrey film?

Well, it's not The Truman Show and it's not The Mask

so it's definitely Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

It is indeed, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

Well done. OK, Judith, over to you.

The 1989 thriller Black Rain sees Michael Douglas and Andy Garcia

playing two New York police officers who travel to which country?

Oh, gosh. I don't know Black Rain.

And they're detectives...

..going to a country?

SHE SIGHS

Nothing is... Nothing is emerging.

-Two New York detectives, did you say?

-Let me read it again.

-Mm.

The 1989 thriller Black Rain sees Michael Douglas and Andy Garcia

playing two New York police officers who travel to which country?

I don't know cos I haven't seen it so I don't know.

And there doesn't seem to be a clue in it.

Black Rain, actually, I'm wondering what it's about.

I think I'm going to say Russia.

Maybe something to do with Chernobyl or something.

Oh, that's funny cos I was thinking just in my own head here,

that's got something to do with oil

and I would have gone for Russia for that reason.

-But it's not, it's Japan.

-Oh, really?

And I think there's no way of getting there on guesswork.

-Why is it called Black Rain? Anyone know?

-Can't remember, no.

-No.

-We can't remember.

-Too far on now.

-It was about the Japanese mafia.

They went over to go and sort out the yakuza.

We think it might be a reference to

-the bombings at the end of World War II?

-Oh, OK.

OK, there we are. We were struggling there. Paul, that's good.

-Would you have set that question in one of your quizzes?

-Uh, possibility.

Still a chance. You could nick some of these for the quizzes.

That floored Judith completely there.

OK, if you get this one right, you're in the final round.

Michael French, who played David Wicks in EastEnders,

also played Nick Jordan in which TV series?

Could you repeat the question, please?

Michael French, who played David Wicks in EastEnders,

also played Nick Jordan in which TV series?

I'm going to say Casualty.

Casualty is the right answer.

The captain is through to the final, well done.

Sorry, Judith, you were knocked out there...

-I knew that one.

-..on Film & TV. Oh, you knew that?

-Yes.

-You watch Casualty?

-I love Casualty.

Please come back to us and we'll play the last round before the final.

So as it stands, We Don't Need No Education

have lost a brain from the final round.

They are playing really well cos

they've knocked two of the Eggheads out of the contest.

And the last subject before the final is Arts & Books.

-Is that good for you? ALL:

-No.

It's Gordon or Martin. Who wants it?

Gordon.

-It's got to be Gordon.

-The captain should decide.

-I think Gordon should take this one.

-I've been thrown to the lions here.

-And you can have either Barry or Kevin.

-I will take Barry on.

Good stuff. Gordon, from We Don't Need No Education

versus Barry the Brain from Eggheads.

To ensure there's no conferring, please go to the Question Room.

Barry, I know you're very into your technology.

-Do you read books on an e-reader or do you read them on paper?

-Both.

I've got something like about 7,000 or 8,000 books at home

-and I've got about 600 books on my e-reader.

-7,000 or 8,000?!

Where on earth do you keep them?

Funnily enough, I have 19 bookcases and they're all full

and some of them are double stacked.

But I've been warned in no uncertain terms that I'm not allowed

to have any more.

There was an unfortunate case a couple of years ago where a man

was sleeping in his bed in his bedroom upstairs

and his loft was full of yachting magazines

and the ceiling suddenly collapsed

and he had to be brought out of the house by firemen in a chain.

Oh, my goodness. I do hope my wife hasn't heard this story.

-Has she called you this week or not?

-Of course, yes.

-She's not been buried?

-Not yet. She's quite safe.

-In a book collapse.

We have some RSJs up in our loft so we're quite OK.

I bet that would be your fantasy way to go though, collapsed under books.

Well, I can think of other ones.

JEREMY LAUGHS

Let's not go back to Jayne Mansfield.

On Arts & Books, Gordon, would you like to go first or second?

I'll go first, please.

So here is

your first question against Barry the Brain.

Published in the early 1940s, what are TS Eliot's Four Quartets?

Four Quartets.

I would have to...

..go for poems.

Yes, poems is quite right. Well done.

OK, Barry, which of these terms refers to a short piece

of nonfiction writing dealing with a particular subject

from a personal point of view?

Short piece of wri... Could you just repeat that question, please?

Which of these terms refers to a short piece of nonfiction writing

dealing with a particular subject from a personal point of view?

-I think that must be episode.

-What?! Barry!

-Oh, Barry.

-Isn't it?

-Well, it's a funny old question, this.

-But the closest word to what I described is essay.

-Oh.

I wouldn't have said that.

Nonfiction writing dealing with a particular subject

-from a personal point of view.

-I can see where you're coming from now.

That's very sporting of you.

-Let's move on...

-Quickly.

-Quickly! ..before the fighting starts.

OK, Gordon, you've got the rubber,

the green here, Gordon.

Very unusual for Barry to trip up on his first question in anything.

What is the title of the French writer Charles Baudelaire's

most famous volume of poetry?

Let me read it again. What is the title of the French writer

Charles Baudelaire's most famous volume of poetry?

OK. Um, I'm not sure on this one.

I will see how good my French...

..is here but I will go for Les Fleurs Du Mal.

-Barry, is he right?

-Yes, The Flowers Of Evil, absolutely.

Yes, yes, yes. Les Fleurs Du Mal.

OK, so you've got two points now, Gordon, on Arts & Books,

and Barry has not yet scored. Barry, if you get this wrong, it's curtains.

Same curtains you made your shirt out of.

To which artist is the quote, "Champagne for my real friends,

"real pain for my sham friends," famously attributed?

I can't imagine Francis Bacon offering champagne to ANY friends

so I shall discount him.

I think I've got to go for Andy Warhol on that.

I don't know the quote but I must go for...

It sounds like the sort of thing Andy Warhol would say.

I've not heard it before but it's a brilliant quote,

I'll try to remember it.

"Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends,"

was Francis Bacon, Barry.

-You've been knocked out.

-Oh!

-There we go.

-Gordon, how about that?

-Um...

-Fantastic. Fantastic.

-Without even needing your

third question, you are in the final round. How about that?

Doesn't happen very often but you've

booked your place in the final.

If you come back to us, both of you, we'll see how the final shakes down.

This is what we've been playing towards.

It is time for the final round, which as always, is General Knowledge.

But I'm afraid those of you who lost your head-to-heads won't be

allowed to take part in this round.

And you're going to see now the damage our Challengers from

We Don't Need No Education have inflicted on the Eggheads

cos it's Sam from the Challengers who has to go but it's also Judith,

Chris and Barry from the Eggheads.

Would you please now leave the studio?

Paul, Martin, Craig and Gordon,

you've done really well to get this far and you are

now playing to win We Don't Need No Education £7,000.

Dave and Kevin, you're playing for something that money can't buy

which is the Eggheads' reputation.

Now as usual, I will ask each team three questions in turn.

This time the questions are all General Knowledge. You can confer.

So, We Don't Need No Education, the question is -

can your four brains defeat these two?

That's all it comes down to now.

It may only come down to three questions.

Would you like to go first or second?

I think we'll stick to the plan and go first, Jeremy.

OK, Martin and team, here we go.

General Knowledge, your first question.

Laryngitis commonly causes what parts of the body to swell?

-Vocal cords.

-Vocal cords.

Yes, Jeremy, I think we think that we know this one

and we think that it's vocal cords.

Vocal cords is the right answer.

Back to you, Eggheads.

Kayaks were first developed by people in which part of the world?

-Greenland.

-Yeah, I like the look of Greenland there.

It's what used to be called Eskimo, Inuit word so we'll say Greenland.

Greenland is correct. One each.

Who would be the most likely to practise nephanalysis?

-And nephanalysis is N-E-P-H and then analysis.

-I've never heard it.

-I can't see why it would be a football manager.

-Football manager.

OK, so let's rule that out.

So the question is whether it's a surgeon...

-Surgeon or a meteorologist.

-Nepha...

I know a surgeon

and I've never heard her say that.

Sam would know this.

I'd be tempted to say meteorologist.

-I would go with meteorologist.

-OK.

Yes, meteorologist.

OK, Jeremy, I think we are going to plump for meteorologist.

We're not entirely sure why.

OK, so you say you know a surgeon and she's talked about stuff

and talked about surgery, talked about medicine, talked about the NHS,

has never used the word nephanalysis?

I will hold her entirely to blame.

JEREMY LAUGHS

I must say looking at it, I'm just conjuring with the "neph"

which you would have done. N-E-P-H, what does that link to?

-What does that link to, Eggheads?

-Clouds, I believe.

-Clouds.

-Clouds.

-Meteorologist is quite right. Well done.

-Thank you.

-Clouds.

Eggheads,

what is the full first name shared

by the actors Burt Reynolds and Burt Lancaster?

Funnily enough, I didn't know about Burt Reynolds but I'm pretty

-sure that Burt Lancaster was Burton.

-OK, fine. OK.

I'll just think about it for a sec,

-I don't think it's either of the others.

-OK.

-If you know that then...

-Bertram, Norbert.

I'm quite happy to go with it. And it's B-U-R-T both of them as well

so if I'm thinking properly now.

-Get my brain back into gear.

-That's true, yes.

-Both are B-U-R-T

So that makes sense.

Yeah, OK. The B-U-R. The B-U as opposed to B-E makes sense as well.

But I think Burt Lancaster's real first name was Burton. So Burton.

It is right. Burton is right.

And yes, both... I didn't spell them for you but they are both B-U-R-T.

Third question.

Now, get this right

and there's pressure on these two here.

And who knows? They might crack.

Little eggs, sometimes even big eggs can crack.

Which British cartoon strip is known as Wurzel in Germany

and Lillo Il Cane Saggio in Italy?

This is the time when we need a German or an Italian teacher.

Can you repeat the question, please?

Let me just make sure you've got the titles.

Wurzel is Germany, which is spelt Wurzel, W-U-R-Z-E-L. Wurzel.

And Lillo Il Cane Saggio. Lillo, L-I-L-L-O.

Then I-L, then Cane, CA-N-E, then Saggio, S-A-G-G-I-O.

Which British cartoon strip is known as Wurzel in Germany

and Lillo Il Cane Saggio in Italy?

I think it's Andy Capp. Andy Capp.

I've got no reason to think that it's Andy Capp but...

We'll probably get it wrong but I think it's Andy Capp.

-Do you think?

-He said that.

OK, three people seem to have an inkling for Andy Capp

So that's what we'll go for.

OK, Wurzel. I wonder how Wurzel helps us. But Lillo Il Cane Saggio.

Before you say the answer, Eggheads, if you know it,

what is Lillo Il Cane Saggio?

Any direct translation of that?

I think "dog" is in there somewhere.

I wonder if "cane" is dog, as in canine.

-Fred Basset is the answer.

-Oh, Basset.

-Not Andy Capp.

So I think that would be "small dog," lillo cane.

OK, sorry, Challengers, but you're not out yet.

If the Eggheads get this right, the contest is over.

Which of these political figures became a senator

from New York in 1965?

-Kennedy?

-Yeah, OK. Yeah.

-OK?

-That's fine with me.

Barry Goldwater was a senator from Arizona.

Eugene McCarthy has escaped me at the moment but it wasn't New York.

But Robert Kennedy, following the assassination of his brother

and when he then became the anointed heir of the Kennedy clan,

he started his political push by being elected senator from New York

in '65 so Robert Kennedy.

The political figure who became a senator from New York in 1965

was indeed Robert Kennedy.

We say congratulations, Eggheads, you have won.

They are... They are a little bit steeped in the Kennedy stuff.

When I see the name Kennedy, I think that they'll probably know that.

It's meat and drink to quizzers.

But commiserations, you did very well to get four in the final there

and pitched three of them out who are

sitting looking rather miserable back there.

But I'm sorry you didn't just do the final push for us.

The Eggheads have done what comes naturally

and their winning streak continues.

It's getting a little bit impressive now.

It does mean you won't be going home with the £7,000 so the money

rolls over to our next show.

Eggheads, congratulations. Who will beat you?

Join us next time to see if a new team of Challengers have the brains

to defeat the Eggheads.

£8,000 says they don't. Till then, goodbye.