Episode 1 Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together, they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to Eggheads, the show where a team of five quiz Challengers

pit their wits against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

They are the Eggheads, and here they are, looking lively, I think.

-Raring to go.

-Thank you.

-Chris, haircut, I'm reckoning.

Yeah, well, it was getting past a joke, you know.

JEREMY LAUGHS All right. Well,

let's see if you can give them a haircut over here.

Hoping to get one over on our quiz champions

are the Rotary Rustics from Kent.

Now, this team are all members of the Beckenham Rotary Club,

and every year they take part in the club's annual charity quiz.

Let's meet them.

Hello, I'm Richard. I'm a retired head teacher.

Hi, I'm Tony. I'm a retired banker.

Hi, I'm Nick. I'm a retired sales and general manager.

Hi, I'm Richard, I'm a retired civil-engineering project manager.

Hello, I'm Ted. I'm a retired teacher.

-So, Richard and team, welcome, good to see you.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-And tell us about the Rotary Club, Richard.

We've got 40 members.

Our primary function is fundraising for good causes.

We raise about £50,000 a year.

We particularly focus on children's charities in Bromley,

but we also help to organise the Poppy Appeal in Beckenham,

and we also contribute to national and international causes, as well.

For example, Rotary has been responsible for

the virtual eradication of polio across the world,

due to the very generous donations of match-funding by Bill Gates.

Right, Rotary Clubs are what, exactly,

for those of us who are not, sadly, members?

They originated in America, and they were for businessmen,

and it was entirely a male province.

Most of the Rotary Clubs in the UK, now, are mixed gender.

-I think my wife is in one.

-Right.

-Yeah, I think she's been...

-I think she's... Anyone here a member?

-No, I'm not.

OK, you've got to lure in Eggheads, into your branch.

Go on, sell it to them.

And most of us are from some form of business.

Right, they're only going to be lured by the offer of food,

I have to warn you. It's got to be...

We meet every week and we have a lunch meeting...

-Ah.

-..and that is very, very popular.

OK, well, let's begin.

Every day there is £1,000 worth of cash

up for grabs for our Challengers,

however, if they fail to defeat the Eggheads,

the prize-money, as you know, rolls over to our next show.

So, Rotary Rustics, the Eggheads have won the last nine games,

which means there's £10,000 on the table.

-Would you like to try and win it?

-Yes, we certainly would.

OK, we'll crack on.

The first head-to-head battle is on the subject of Geography,

so which Rotary Rustic would like this?

-Have I been?

-Richard.

-You've been...

-I've been volunteered.

-Is it you, Richard?

-I'm Richard, yes.

OK, choose an Egghead, if you can. Any one of them.

They're all grinning in a silly way.

-Who's got the sweetest smile?

-Weakest on Geography.

-Go for Lisa.

-Lisa?

-Go for Lisa?

-Yes.

-We'll nominate Lisa.

-Lisa.

-Lisa.

-Definitely Lisa,

if you're looking for the sweetest smile. That's true.

OK, so, Richard from Rotary Rustics, versus Lisa from the Eggheads,

on Geography. I think... Mm, yes. Nervous?

There is a wonderful line from one of Stephen Fry's novels,

which was written just for a moment such as this -

"Un-yippee and un-hurrah."

Yeah, exactly, so, "un-hurrah".

Let's see if it is a hurrah for the Rustics.

To ensure there's no conferring,

would you please take your positions in our Question Room?

Richard, it says here you used to do fencing when you were younger.

-Yes, I did.

-Meaning what? Garden fences or...?

-No, epee, sabre...

-Oh.

..and, you know, fighting fencing.

-Ah, well, have you brought your weapon along?

-I forgot it.

-Oh, dear.

-It was in the same case as my brains.

JEREMY LAUGHS All right, so it's going to have to

be geographical knowledge, Richard,

that you fight her with, so would you like to go first or second?

I'd like to go first, please, Jeremy.

Good luck. Here is your first question.

Which motorway has a service area called Leicester Forest East?

Leicester Forest East, so it's...

somewhere near Leicester,

and it's either the M1 or the M62.

I've never been there

and I'm going to cross my fingers

and say the M62.

Ah, you were lead astray by something,

because the M1 is the answer, but what took you to the M62?

Because, Leicester, don't you find Leicester on the way to the M1, yeah?

Whereas, the M62 is around Manchester, is it?

-Yes, but it's...

-Liverpool to Hull.

-Liverpool.

-Liverpool to Hull.

Liverpool to Hull, says Chris.

Sorry, Richard, it's the M1.

Right.

By area, Lisa, what is the second largest country in South America?

This is one of those questions where I automatically panic,

because it involves numbers, to some degree,

but I think it's Argentina.

It is Argentina. Well done.

OK, back to you, Richard.

What is the name of the international airport that serves Chicago?

Well, it's not LaGuardia.

I've never heard of McCarran.

I will go for O'Hare.

Chicago O'Hare is quite right. Well done. Point to you.

OK, back to Lisa.

Let's see if she can stay in the lead.

Dating from the 16th century,

Pendennis Castle is located in which English county?

I tend to use the "Tre, Pol and Pen" rule,

when it comes to these things.

I'll go for Cornwall.

What's the "Tre, Pol and Pen"?

"By Tre, Pol and Pen, you may know the Cornishmen."

Cornwall is the right answer, so you've got two points.

Richard, you need to get this one right.

Port Klang, formerly known as Port Swettenham,

is a major seaport in which country?

Well, they're all...

All those countries are in the same sort of area.

I'm going to go for Indonesia.

Indonesia. Is he...?

I know this isn't your best area of the world, Lisa, but is he right?

-Do you know?

-Linguistically, I'd have gone for Thailand,

but I haven't got a clue.

Both wrong. Malaysia is the right answer.

Richard, but no way back for you,

so Lisa has taken that round and will be in the final.

Please, both of you, return to your team-mates and we'll play on.

As it stands, Rotary Rustics have lost one brain from the final.

The Eggheads are still intact,

so if three of you can just put a crack in their lining now.

It's Film & TV, for you.

Who would like this?

-It's me, isn't it?

-It's you.

-Yes.

-OK.

-It will be Nick.

-OK, Nick.

And against which Egghead? Can't be Lisa.

-Chris?

-Chris?

-Yeah, Chris.

-Chris.

-Yes, Chris.

-Chris, the word goes up.

-Yeah.

-Yeah. All right?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, you like that, don't you?

-I don't mind it.

-Ealing comedies?

-Oh, now, that is my speciality.

-I know, I know.

So, Nick from Rotary rustics versus Chris from the Eggheads

on Film & TV and, just to ensure there's no conferring, please,

gentlemen, go to the Question Room.

All right, Film & TV. Nick, would you like to go first or second?

I'll go first, please, Jeremy.

So, here we go with your first question.

Which broadcaster launched

the current affairs programme Panorama in 1953?

Well, that's one I do watch from time to time,

so I'm going to plump for BBC.

BBC is the right answer. Well done.

Of course.

OK, Chris, your question.

Which of these TV comedy panel shows has featured

Sean Lock and Jon Richardson as team captains?

Erm, well, it's not Celebrity Juice,

cos that's Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton.

QI doesn't have team captains, as such,

so it's got to be 8 Out Of 10 Cats.

8 Out Of 10 Cats is the right answer.

Nick, over to you.

The 2011 film My Week With Marilyn

depicts the making of which of Marilyn Monroe's movies?

-Great question.

-Now, I've got to think about that one. I can...

I've seen the film

and I'm pretty sure it was made in the UK...

..but which of those?

I'm going to plump for, though I'm not certain,

The Prince And The Showgirl.

Bang on. Well done. The Prince And The Showgirl.

OK, Chris, your question.

Which of these came to prominence as a child star

in the 2002 film comedy About A Boy?

Well, it's not Jamie Bell, cos he was Billy Elliot.

I think Dexter Fletcher was one of the Double Deckers, years ago,

on kids' television, so it's not him, either,

so it's Nicholas Hoult.

Nicholas Hoult is the right answer.

Playing well, Chris.

-Yeah. What do you expect?

-JEREMY LAUGHS

"Yeah," he says, in that insouciant way.

OK, over to you, Nick.

In the TV sitcom "Are You Being Served?",

what is Mr Humphries' first name?

Oh, gosh, this is going back a bit.

The first name that came to mind, erm,

I'm going to have to go for,

because it really is a guess.

I'll say Wilberforce.

Chris will know this.

-IN SQUEAKY VOICE:

-I'm free! Yes, it's Wilberforce.

All right, so missed out... This is played by John Inman, right?

-That's right, yeah.

-"I'm free!" Wilberforce is right.

Three out of three.

OK, what a round we've got here.

Chris, now you're on the edge.

The children's animated TV series Roary The Racing Car features

an opening and closing narration by which Grand Prix racing driver?

That was done by Stirling Moss.

It was indeed done by Stirling Moss, you're right.

You've both got three out of three

and so it gets a tiny bit harder now, Nick.

We go to Sudden Death

and I don't give you alternative answers, OK?

Here we go.

In which country is the 2009 science-fiction film District 9 set?

Erm, this is one I haven't got a clue about, because I...

It doesn't come to me at all.

I'll say Canada.

No, it was South Africa, unusually.

Chris, your question now.

For the round, which film,

for which Susan Sarandon won an Oscar,

is based on a book by Sister Helen Prejean?

Thelma and Louise.

Oh, these Eggs have just all fallen in the toast here.

-Dead Man Walking.

-Oh.

Nick,

in 2008, which actress was the first since Sophia Loren

to win a Best Actress Oscar for a performance not given in English?

Again, I can't think.

It might be...

..Kristen...

I can't remember the rest of her name.

I'll say Meryl Streep. It's wrong, but I'll...

I'll say Meryl Streep.

OK, no, it was the performance not given in English.

-It was Marion Cotillard...

-Oh.

..for La Vie En Rose, where she played Edith Piaf.

-Oh, right, yes.

-OK.

Chris, for the round.

The Cleveland Show is a spin-off from which other animated series?

You're joking, aren't you?

Erm, it's Family Guy.

Why...Why did you say, "You're joking"?

Well, it's... It's just so my area.

Many wouldn't have got it but you got it right.

Well done. Family Guy, it is. You've won on Sudden Death, Chris,

and knocked Nick out. Sorry, Nick.

-OK.

-You're gone from the contest. Chris will be in the final.

Please, return to your teams.

So, bad luck, Nick.

As it stands, Rotary Rustics have lost two brains from the final round.

The Eggheads are looking a little bit confident.

Got a bit of a swagger, here. See if you can stop them on the next round.

Science, it is.

How's that? Who wants that?

-It's going to have to be me, Jeremy.

-OK, Richard, the team captain,

against which Egghead?

-CJ.

-CJ.

-CJ.

-I heard a whisper of CJ.

-CJ.

-CJ on Science, yeah.

-It's not my favourite, but it's not my worst.

-Oh, OK.

So, it's in the middle there.

So Richard is going to try and turn the ship around here,

against CJ on Science and, just to ensure there's no conferring,

please take your positions.

OK, Richard, on Science, do you want to go first or second?

I'll go first, please.

And here we go with your first question.

The house martin is most similar to which of these birds?

In terms of its size

and its shape,

I would say it was closest to a swallow.

I'm so glad you said that. You're right. Well done.

Swallow, it is.

CJ, the Geordie lamp,

invented by George Stephenson,

was designed for which environment?

I've never heard of the Geordie lamp,

but I can't imagine you've got room to take

a lamp up a domestic chimney

and, although submarines were around at the time,

I can't imagine it was that,

so I'll assume it's a relation of the Davy lamp

and it's to do with coal mines.

Coal mines is correct.

OK, Richard,

the chemical formula for sulphuric acid is H2SO what?

As a chemistry teacher, I know this one.

It's four.

H2S04 is correct. Well done.

CJ, to keep up,

by what one word name is the Australasian mammal,

sometimes called the spiny anteater, better known?

First of all, only one of those is from Australia,

but I think this is the monotreme,

along with the duck-billed platypus, and it's an echidna.

It is an echidna. Well done.

OK, Richard, I'm sorry we couldn't shake him off there.

All questions right so far. Third question now.

Ada Lovelace, born in 1815, is now sometimes regarded as the first what?

Well, I think it's too soon, too early to be a computer programmer.

I likewise think it's possibly a bit premature to be

a brain surgeon so I'm going to go for rocket scientist.

OK. I can see exactly how you got there.

Let's try Barry the Brain on this.

-You love your science.

-I'm afraid she was a computer programmer.

But in the days before computers?

Yes. She programmed, I think, for Babbage,

for his differential machines.

-So, like an advanced abacus?

-I think, hmm.

OK, something to do with...

She was Byron's stepdaughter.

Byron... OK, we've got a bit of detail here, Richard.

Byron's stepdaughter,

-who programmed something to do with Babbage's machine.

-Oh, right.

So, the word "computer",

in some strange way, was relevant.

And they even named a computer language after her - Ada.

OK, the computer language Ada is named after Miss Lovelace.

We'll get a comeback. Yeah.

And it was Byron's real daughter.

-Was it? Oh.

-Not stepdaughter.

That's the only kink in your information.

So, CJ, get this right, you're in the final round.

Which element in the periodic table has the symbol "I"?

Oh, let me just make sure I get this right.

I think iridium is just "Ir"

and indium is "In".

I'm fairly sure there's no "Io",

there's no "Id",

so I think "I" is iodine.

-Is he right, Richard, as the science teacher?

-He is.

Yes, he is, definitely.

Yeah, you are right. Iodine, it is.

CJ, you've taken the round.

Richard, you've been knocked out.

-Not quite a crisis for your team yet, but it's getting near it.

-No.

-It certainly is.

-Come back to us and we'll see what happens next.

-Oh, that's painful, Richard.

-It was.

OK, well, let's see if you can win this one before the final

and turn things around. You've lost three brains from the final.

The Eggheads have not lost any so far.

The next subject is History.

Who's our History guy?

-Nobody.

-I'll have to do History, I think.

-Yeah?

-I'll go.

-Ted?

-Yeah.

-Ted?

-Yeah, I'll go.

I'll try.

-All right, against...

-That just leaves me.

-Which of the two?

-I'd like Barry, please.

OK, very decisive.

Ted from Rotary Rustics, and you're a teacher, Ted.

-Were you teaching history?

-No.

Were you teaching chemistry, as well?

On those lines, yes.

Yeah, OK, right. Well, what were you teaching?

-Economics.

-Economics, OK.

So, Ted from Rotary Rustics versus Barry from the Eggheads.

To ensure there's no conferring,

please take your positions in the Question Room.

So, it's History, Ted.

I'm sorry it's not economics, which you used to teach.

-Would you like to go first or second?

-First, please.

Here is your first question.

What name is given to the forced eviction of tenant farmers

from certain areas of Scotland in the 18th and 19th centuries?

It's the Highland Clearances.

Brilliant, Ted, well done. Bang on the money.

OK, Barry the Brain.

Which of Henry VIII's children had the longest reign as English monarch?

I think that's indisputably Elizabeth I.

And regarded as a great queen.

Absolutely, and she was.

Elizabeth I is quite right.

OK, back to you, Ted.

On the 10th of April, 1848,

Feargus O'Connor organised a mass meeting on Kennington Common

to raise support for which political movement?

Chartism, I think.

You don't hang around.

Chartism is right.

OK, let's see what happens now.

Let's see if Barry can be shaken.

Maybe his glasses will fall off.

The incident of the Black Hole of Calcutta, Barry,

in which many Europeans died after being incarcerated

by the Nawab of Bengal,

occurred during which century?

Erm, let me think.

I think it was before the Indian Mutiny,

I think, which was 1857.

The 18th, I think, is a little too early,

but is the 19th too late?

I'm disregarding the 17th straightaway.

The 18th, 1797...

Well, it's at the end of the 18th or the beginning of the 19th.

Ah, this is way before the Indian Mutiny,

because the Nawab of Bengal was fighting Clive,

so I'm going to take a stab and go for the 18th.

18th is right.

You've only lost twice on History before, Barry.

I thought you were teetering, there.

Yes, I thought I was, as well.

Ted, get this right and let's see if we can dislodge the great Barry.

The last shogun of Japan, Tokugawa Yoshinobo,

died in which year?

Ah, this is an educated...

or is an uneducated guess.

I think it's 1823.

Well, I know Barry will know this. Barry?

Well, I think he was defeated just before the Meiji Revolution,

which was about the 1850s,

so I would say 1913.

Yeah, 1913 is the right answer.

Japan is your favourite country, isn't it?

It is very much so.

Barry, your question, third question, to get into the final.

Which ancient soldiers used a 4m-long spear or pike

called a sarissa?

Well, this was the invention of Philip II of Macedon,

which made the Macedonians such fearsome warriors

and enabled them to conquer all of Greece, because you couldn't...

When they had a phalanx of soldiers with sarissas,

you couldn't get anywhere near them,

and they could kill the enemy at a distance,

so it was the Greeks.

The Greeks is quite right.

You've taken it on three correct questions, Barry.

Well done, you're in the final. Ted, sorry.

He bounced you out, there, but he is very good at history.

There was just a flicker there on the Black Hole of Calcutta,

where Barry paused, but no more than that.

So, you're also out, and it is a bit of a crisis for the Challengers.

Come back to us, both of you, and we'll play the final.

So, this is what we have been playing towards,

it is time for our final round, which as always is General Knowledge.

But I'm afraid those of you who lost your head-to-heads won't be

allowed to take part in this round

and I'm afraid we are evicting everyone from this side, bar one.

Richard, Nick, Richard and Ted, from Rotary Rustics,

would you please now leave the studio?

-OK, Tony. I know this was not the plan.

-Definitely not.

-And you're a retired banker?

-Indeed.

-But you retired before all the nonsense happened, so...

-Way before.

Absolutely nothing to do with me.

So you have a complete rock solid alibi.

-Completely clear conscience.

-OK, good luck.

I know that if you win, you are planning to give it to a charity.

Yes, indeed.

We'll give half to the National Osteoporosis Society

and the other half to children's charities in Bromley and Beckenham.

-So it's all charitable money.

-OK. Tremendous. Well, good luck.

I know that you have to play hard to win here and you never get

any quarter from these five, especially when they're together.

But good luck. You can do it, there's no question.

Others have done it before you. Tony, would you like to go first or second?

Playing for £10,000.

Well, our tactics has been to go first.

That's been totally unsuccessful, but I'm still going to go first.

Here's your first question, Tony. Good luck.

Which country has an intelligence service called Mossad?

I'm pretty certain that's Israel.

Israel is correct.

Eggheads, all five of you,

who did the model Yasmin Parvaneh marry in 1985?

Simon Le Bon.

-Definitely.

-Yep.

OK, that was Simon Le Bon

of Duran Duran.

Indeed.

Became Yasmin Le Bon.

Correct. One each. Back to you.

Tony, what was the turnout at the 2015 UK General Election?

Was that the 2015 General Election?

-Yes, indeed.

-66%.

-No hesitation at all.

-No hesitation.

Two-thirds of voters turned out. You're quite right.

66%, it was. Two out of two.

I've just got the feeling that you could just fall apart here, Eggheads.

The middle and long distance runner, Ron Clarke,

who set many world records in the 1960s, was born in which country?

-Australia?

-He was Australian, as far as I knew.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

He was from Australia.

He set loads of world records, but never won Olympic gold.

Are you sure about that?

He's from Melbourne, I think.

Australia is correct.

Well done.

OK, Tony.

Get this right and, honestly, I've seen it happen, they just...

The pressure. They go.

The comedienne Shappi Khorsandi was born in which country?

I'm afraid I've not the faintest idea.

So I'm going to obviously take a free shot and I'll go for Iran.

Is he right?

-Yes.

-Yes.

Three out of three.

OK, Tony got three out of three.

Eggheads, if you get this one wrong, the contest is over.

We don't often see a single player win, but it has happened.

For what does the letter P stand in the name of the computer file

format PDF?

-It's portable, isn't it?

-Portable.

-Portable format?

Yeah?

That's portable.

As in Portable Document Format.

Portable.

If you're wrong, the contest is over.

It's a good job we're not, then, isn't it?

It is a good job you're not wrong. Portable is the answer.

-So, three each.

-Unfortunately.

Unfortunately, I completely agree with you.

We now go to sudden death.

So, I don't give you alternative answers here, Tony.

It gets a little bit tougher.

Are you ready? £10,000 on the table.

In terms of Cold War nuclear attack,

what do the three letters of the acronym MAD stand?

Multi Attack Device?

No, no.

-Mutually Assured Destruction.

-Mutually Assured Destruction.

Meaning if you hit them, they hit you and everybody's dead.

OK, so that gives the Eggheads a way back in.

Sudden death. Get this right, the contest is over, Eggs.

In December 2003, some 37 years after his death, which stand up

comedian was granted a pardon for an obscenity conviction from 1964?

-Well, Bill... Bill...

-It's got to be Lenny Bruce. Who else could it be?

Bill Hicks is more recent. Lenny Bruce died in the '60s.

And certainly obscene.

-Anybody else?

-That's the name I've got in my head.

I can't think of anyone else other than him.

-Max Miller? No.

-No, no.

He didn't have any obscenity convictions.

He sailed pretty close to the wind.

-He fell foul of a few, but he was never convicted.

-America...

-It's got to be Lenny Bruce.

-It's got to be.

OK, we'll go with him. We're going to go with Lenny Bruce.

If you have it right, the contest is over.

It's always difficult playing these five together.

The answer is Lenny Bruce.

We say congratulations, Eggheads. You have won.

I thought they might get that wrong and then you'd be thinking...

-Oh, MAD would have got you the money.

-Yeah. Yes.

You did actually chase them very close there

-and it's difficult on your own. No-one to confer with.

-No.

-No help.

-No help.

But you did well. Thank you very much for playing, Tony.

Thank you very much. Well done.

Commiserations to our challengers, Rotary Rustics.

The Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them.

your winning streak continues.

When it gets in to five figures, we're thinking, the swagger is back.

It does mean you won't be going home with the £10,000

so our money rolls over to the next show. Eggheads, very well done.

Who, I wonder, will ever beat you? Well, let's find out.

Join us next time to see if a new team of challengers

have the brains to do it.

£11,000 says they can't. Till then, goodbye.