Episode 62 Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together, they make up the Eggheads,

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to Eggheads, the show where a team of five quiz Challengers

pit their wits against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

They are the Eggheads.

Hoping to get one over on our quiz champions

are The Criminal Element.

Now, this team of respected authors are well-known

for their crime fiction and are hoping that today's quiz

against the Eggheads will be a real who-WON-it?

Let's meet them.

Hi, I'm Val McDermid and I'm a crime writer.

Hello, I'm Mark Billingham and I'm a crime writer.

Hello, I'm Chris Brookmyre and I'm a crime writer.

Hiya. I'm Martyn Waites and I'm a crime writer.

Hi, I'm Doug Johnstone and I'm also a crime writer.

So, Val and team, welcome. Great to see you.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-All writers. My goodness.

So, I'm feeling like you're observing us closely now, are you?

There's going to be a murder tonight.

LAUGHTER I'm sure there will be!

There usually is.

So, how do you all know each other?

We run into each other regularly at book festivals

and go to each other's launch parties.

And crime writers really are the party animals of the literary world.

We get on very well.

I mean, isn't there a sense of competition or is there a sense of,

"Come on, we all win by doing well"?

I think with crime writers, because we all respect each other's work

and we read each other's work, we don't see it as a competition.

You know, I don't feel, if I say to read these guys,

that suddenly somebody's going to stop reading me and only read them.

So, generally, I think we're pretty companionable,

pretty friendly together.

And what's the question you get asked the most?

Cos I mustn't ask it.

Where do you get your ideas from?

I'm so glad I didn't ask that. That's great.

I thought that might be it, actually.

All right. Well, good luck with some ideas against this lot.

They're in very, very good form at the moment.

Every day there is £1,000 worth of cash up for grabs

for our Challengers.

However, if they fail to defeat the Eggheads,

the prize money rolls over to the next show.

So, Criminal Elements, the Eggheads have won the last 13 games,

which means there's £14,000 on the table to win.

So, would you like to go for it?

-Absolutely.

-Yeah.

-The first head-to-head battle

is on the subject of History.

CHALLENGERS LAUGH

Is that bad?

-It's the nightmare scenario.

-Why is that?

-It's the doomsday scenario.

-Because nobody does it?

-Are you ready, Martyn?

-All right, come on then.

-On three.

Ah, it's me!

So, it's going to be Mark?

-He'll be fine.

-No, I won't. OK.

OK. Mark against which Egghead?

-What about Dave?

-Yeah?

Yeah, go on, then.

All right, we'll take on Dave.

OK. So, Mark from Criminal Element on History

against Tremendous Knowledge Dave from the Eggheads.

Just to ensure there's no conferring,

please go to our Question Room now.

So, Mark, tell us a bit about your novels. They centre on Tom Thorne.

Yes, mostly. Most of them do, yes.

And how many Tom Thorne novels are there?

13 to date.

He's your age and shares your taste in music, I gather?

He does. He's a fan of country music,

which tends to mean he gets mocked by a lot of his colleagues,

-but that's fine.

-All right, good luck on History.

It's your choice whether you want to go first or second, Mark.

I've been thrown under the bus by my team. I'm going to go first, Jeremy.

You never know. Here we go, Mark. Good luck.

Which animals were sacred to the ancient Egyptians?

Erm, I'm fairly sure it's not guinea pigs or sloths.

I think cats were sacred to the ancient Egyptians, Jeremy.

Yes, cats is right. Well done. On the scoreboard.

Dave,

doodlebug bombs were famously used during which major conflict?

-Doodlebug bombs, yeah?

-Yeah.

World War II.

World War II is correct.

It's one of my brother's jokes, but I'm trying to remember it.

My uncle couldn't stop scribbling during World War II.

He got hit by the doodlebug.

THEY LAUGH

I always kill Tim's jokes whenever I tell them.

So embarrassed. I wish I hadn't done that.

OK. Mark, which English naval hero was famously the captain of a ship

called the Revenge?

Well, I don't think it was Horatio Nelson.

I'm not altogether sure who James Wolfe was.

So, I'm going to go for Francis Drake, Jeremy.

Yes, you're bang on. Well done.

-It's going better than you thought, isn't it?

-So far!

Francis Drake is right.

Tremendous Knowledge Dave, to catch up.

The ancient city of Knossos was located on which island?

And that's K-N-O-S-S-O-S.

I think it was excavated in the...I think the 1920s.

I could be wrong there, but it's Crete.

Crete is correct. Two-two.

And back to you, Mark.

Who was the last person to hold the title of King of Scotland

to actually be crowned in Scotland?

I'm just laughing because at least three of my team-mates

know the answer to this,

and they were the ones that didn't want to do History.

Really not got much of a clue,

so I'm just going straight down the middle. Charles I.

Oh, just read it for me again.

"Going straight down the middle and..."

Oh, I can't even... Oh, there you go. That's my eyesight.

It's Charles. Charles II.

Charles II.

OK, I'm so glad there weren't two Charles there.

-Let's check with Val.

-I think Mark's right.

Yeah, you're right, well done. MARK SIGHS

OK. Well done, Mark. Three out of three.

-If you get this wrong, Dave, you're out.

-Yeah.

The Welsh soldier Thomas Picton, once famously described as

"a rough, foul-mouthed devil,"

played a major role in which battle?

Right, sorry about this.

I don't think it's Bannockburn.

So, it's a 50-50 between Waterloo and Agincourt.

Yeah, I'm going to have to go for...

He's a Welsh soldier, isn't he?

The Welsh soldier Thomas Picton.

OK. Waterloo.

He was called this by Wellington.

So, you're right, it is Waterloo. Well done.

OK. So far so good, Mark.

You haven't quite shaken him off, though.

Back to you. Sudden Death now.

I don't give you alternatives, so it's a bit harder.

By what one word name were the distinctive

Sturzkampfflugzeug dive bomber German planes

of World War II better known?

I think the only German... I think I can only think of one German plane.

Heinkel?

-Do you know, Dave?

-Dive bomber? I've had a brain freeze.

-I was going to go...

-Let's ask Chris. Chris knows.

Junkers 87 or a Stuka.

-Stuka.

-Stuka.

-Sturzkampfflugzeug, Stuka is the contraction.

-Oh, of course.

Sort of there in the word, yeah.

OK, Dave, this for the round.

What one word name was given to the irregular brigade

of British, Burmese and Gurkha soldiers

commanded by Orde Wingate during World War II?

All I can go off...

One word that's in my head, Chindits.

The correct answer is Chindits, Dave.

Well done, you've taken the round.

That was good play. And sorry, Mark.

You lasted well there.

I lasted longer than I thought I'd last.

You're not in the final and Dave is.

Please come back to us and we'll play on.

So, early days, but Criminal Element have lost a brain

from the final round.

The Eggheads are still sitting there, all five of them.

The next subject for you is Sport.

Val and team, who wants this?

-Mr Brookmyre.

-I think I'm nominated for this one.

-Chris? OK.

-I think it's going to be me.

Against which Egghead?

It can't be Dave.

I'm taking...

I'm very keen to stress that there is no sexist implications in this,

but I've been instructed that I've to go against Judith.

Who instructed you?

LAUGHTER

People who are taller than me.

OK. Chris from Criminal Element versus Judith from the Eggheads.

Please, both of you, go to our legendary Question Room.

Chris, I just saw a tweet from our own Lisa

saying that she's a completely besotted fan of yours.

Yeah, she showed me a photograph of a creaking shelf

with pretty much my complete works on it.

And it's crime fiction but also science fiction, isn't it?

Yeah, I've written a couple of science-fiction novels,

and one of them was a project that was turned into a video game.

-Which was Bedlam?

-Yeah, it was called Bedlam.

Fantastic. I'm just thinking, crime and science fiction,

almost opposites, aren't they?

-One's very real and one's very unreal.

-Yeah.

I suppose you're always up against the reality of it,

but mainly I decided to write a bit of science fiction

cos I wasn't really subject to quite enough literary snobbery

as a crime writer. I thought that would really nail it.

And then the snobbery really came through, did it?

-Oh, yeah. It didn't disappoint.

-Oh, that's great. Oh, good.

OK. Chris, would you like to go first or second?

I'll go second, please.

Judith, here is your question.

Which of these heavyweight boxers became world champion first?

I think that must be Joe Frazier.

You're right, well done. Joe Frazier.

Chris,

in which sport must players try to hit the ball above the tin?

Well, it's definitely not snooker. And volleyball, there is a net.

So I can only deduce that the tin

must be the line on the wall in squash.

Yes, you're right. No...

I mean, it's the bit of metal, the lowest bit of the wall, isn't it?

So there's two lines, and that's the lowest one. Squash is right.

Judith,

the footballer Jamie Vardy signed for which club in 2012?

Absolutely no idea. I don't do football.

James Vardy?

-Jamie Vardy.

-Jamie Vardy.

I don't know! Erm...

Arsenal.

Oh, blimey.

The reason people have heard of him is that he's what powered

Leicester City up the Premiership in 2015-2016 in the most amazing way.

-Ah, I see.

-He broke the Premiership record

for most consecutive goals scored.

-Oh, is that right?

-Yes, he did.

He broke Ruud van Nistelrooy's record in the 2015-16 season.

Ten goals? Nine goals?

-11.

-11?

-11 consecutive games he scored in.

-Yeah.

Leicester City is the correct answer, not Arsenal.

Chris, your question

to take the lead.

Which unseeded tennis player won the men's US Open title in 1994?

Back in '94? Erm...

I do play tennis...very badly.

But this predates my great interest in it.

Agassi was always kind of the wild card bad boy,

so my inclination is to go with Andre Agassi.

Andre Agassi is right.

So, you're ahead.

Judith, you need to get

this one right.

Which of these Australian cricketers announced their retirement

from internationals in November 2015?

I think Mitchell Johnson's still playing.

Mitchell Marsh. I don't know. I've no idea.

Mitchell Marsh.

Oh, you're waving the white flag there.

It's Mitchell Johnson.

Oh, I thought he was still playing. Oh, well.

No. Announced his retirement in 2015, Judith.

-And I'm afraid we're announcing your retirement now.

-Yeah.

From the game. Only from the game.

You're not in the final.

Good work by Chris and Criminal Elements.

So, you will be in the final, Chris.

Please come back to us, both of you, and we'll play on.

So, Val, is this the plot you imagined?

Well, it's got one or two twists and turns still to come.

-Yeah.

-And hopefully, there'll be a sting in the tail.

Well, I hope so.

A twist at the end, let's hope, and victory for Criminal Element.

Now, you've lost a brain, but the Eggheads have also lost a brain.

So, level pegging, and now Film & TV.

Who would like this?

I reckon you're going to be great at this.

I'll have a go at this, yes. I'll give it a go.

OK. Martyn, against which Egghead?

I think I'll have Chris, please.

That good with you?

I have some sort of choice in the matter?

LAUGHTER Not really, in truth.

Martyn from Criminal Element versus Chris from the Eggheads.

To ensure there's no conferring, please go to the Question Room.

Well, we're loving this team, Martyn, cos you've penned, we think,

-more than 100 novels between you.

-Yeah. I think we have, yeah.

Some of yours are written under a female name?

They certainly are, yes.

Tell us about that.

Yeah, I'm also known as Tania Carver.

I've done eight novels under that name.

It was kind of a dare, or a bet, between me and the publisher.

He bet me that I couldn't write as a woman.

I bet him that I could.

And long story short, I won.

And do people sometimes say,

"Isn't it great that there are more female crime writers? Oh!"?

Well, kind of, yes. I have appeared on a panel as Tania before.

Which was... Because I thought, "Well, this is a good opportunity

"to shake things up a bit," and...

I mean, that was great fun.

Just the one question I always get asked is,

"Do you dress up to write?"

So, please don't ask me that. The answer's no, by the way.

I'm trying to avoid the obvious questions.

You guys avoid the obvious plotlines, I know.

OK. So, against Chris, Film & TV.

And, Martyn, would you like to go first or second?

I'll go first, please.

Here we go with your first question.

What was the first name of nearly all of the characters played by

Rowan Atkinson in the TV comedy Blackadder?

Ah, one of my favourite shows. Edmund.

Edmund is right.

Chris, in the TV drama Dr Who,

Davros was the creator of which creatures?

He was sort of the progenitor of the Daleks.

He was indeed.

Martyn,

in which film does Johnny Depp play the role

of the gangster Whitey Bulger?

It is Black Mass.

-Have you seen it?

-I have seen it, yeah.

So, Black Mass is right.

Chris, over to you.

Film & TV, we're on.

Who played the role of Withnail in the 1987 film Withnail And I?

Well, surely, Richard E Grant was I, so it's got to be Paul McGann.

Oh, I think you've got it the wrong way round.

Oh.

-Yeah, Richard E Grant is the answer.

-Mm-hm.

Am I right, Paul McGann was the other one?

-ALL:

-Yes.

-Oh, dear, Chris.

OK, Martyn. Your third question

can give you the round.

Who was the writer and star of the 2015 film Trainwreck?

One of my favourite American comics, Amy Schumer.

Yeah, very funny. Amy Schumer is the right answer.

You've taken the round.

Well done. No way back for Chris.

You've taken on an Egghead and you've knocked him out.

And, Martyn, if you come back to us, you will be in the final.

So, Criminal Element are doing rather well.

They've lost a brain from the final round,

the Eggheads have lost two.

And our next subject is Geography.

Who would like this?

-Well, I'll take it, I think.

-OK, Doug. Against whom?

-What's your instinct telling you?

-Kevin?

-Go on.

-Go for it.

-Let's try Kevin.

So, Doug from Criminal Element versus Kevin from the Eggheads.

Let's see how we get on here. It is Geography.

Please take your positions.

Doug, it's interesting, your background...

I know all of you have different disciplines,

but yours is nuclear physics.

So, there's a lot of expertise to draw on there.

Yeah, sadly, it seems like a lifetime ago I had that.

Plus, I'm doing Geography now, so it's not much help.

-We will see how we get on.

-OK.

But presumably, there are moments where nuclear physics is needed

in the plot of a story.

-Really?

-Well, I don't know.

-Not in any of my books so far,

-but it's certainly something to think about for the future.

-OK.

So, Geography, we're on.

-And you can choose whether you go first or second.

-I'll go first.

Here we go with your first question. Good luck, Doug.

Which of these Scottish cities is furthest north?

Well, I hope I would get that one right.

It's Aberdeen.

It is Aberdeen. Goodness me, if you'd got that wrong,

there would have been trouble.

There would have been trouble. OK, Kevin,

from north to south,

approximately how long is the country of Chile?

Well, it's very long. It's a very long...

thin country,

stretches down a good way of the west coast of South America.

I think it's got to be 2,700.

-Most amazing answer, I can't believe it. 2,700.

-Yeah.

It's the right answer.

Would you have got that, Doug?

-Yeah, I think I might have guessed that.

-OK, your question.

The Apennine Mountains run almost the entire length of which country?

Well, I don't know this, so I'm going to have to take a punt.

I have a feeling,

based on not very much, that it's Italy.

Italy is right.

Two points to you. You are playing very well, Challengers.

Kevin, which North American river does the Klondike

enter at Dawson?

The other two are a long way away from there.

The Potomac is right over in the east of the USA

and the Missouri is...

well, north/central, till it joins the Mississippi.

But the Klondike and the Yukon are right

up in the Alaska/Canadian borderlands, so it's Yukon.

Yukon is correct. So, two-two. And your third question, Doug.

The country of Kuwait has a coastline on which body of water?

Again, I don't know it, but I'm trying to picture it.

I think Kuwait is on the Persian Gulf. Let's go for that.

Yes, you are right. Persian Gulf it is. Three out of three.

So, Kevin, to stay in.

London City Airport is located in which part of London?

I've only actually flown from there once,

but I have, and it's in Docklands.

It is indeed in Docklands.

Three-three. We go back to you,

Doug, for Sudden Death.

And I don't give you alternatives.

The town of Thetford and the Stone Age flint mines

called Grimes Graves are features of which English county?

I really don't know at all.

I'm going to have to guess.

Somerset.

No, it's not. Do your team know?

-Somewhere in the Midlands.

-Essex or Suffolk.

-Hm. Eggs? ALL:

-Norfolk.

-Norfolk.

-Oh, well.

Norfolk is the answer. So, Kevin, you have to a chance

to take the round. Sudden Death.

Which US city is located at the confluence of the Allegheny

and Monongahela rivers, which unite to form the Ohio River?

I believe that's Pittsburgh.

If you've got this right, you are in the final.

Brilliant play, Kevin, Pittsburgh is right.

Sorry, Doug, you've been knocked out.

Brave to take him on. He is very good.

Please come back to us and we will play the final round.

This is what we have been playing towards.

It is time for the final round,

which as always, is General Knowledge,

but I'm afraid those of you who lost your head-to-heads

won't be allowed to take part in this round.

So, Mark and Doug from Criminal Element

and Chris and Judith from the Eggheads,

would you please now leave the studio?

So, we have three crime writers in the final -

Val, Chris and Martyn, you're playing to win Criminal Element

£14,000. Good jackpot today.

Barry, Kevin and Dave, you are playing for something which

money cannot buy - the Eggheads' reputation.

As usual, I will ask each team three questions in turn.

This time, the questions are all General Knowledge.

You are allowed to confer. So, Criminal Element, the question is -

can your brilliant three brains wrestle to the floor

these three over here and take the money off them?

And would you like to go first or second?

We've decided we'll go first and put the pressure on.

Good decision. First question.

Rodeo Drive is a famous shopping area in which US city?

-It's Los Angeles.

-It's Los Angeles.

-It's Los Angeles.

You are right. Los Angeles. Well done.

OK, Eggheads,

what is the most northerly species of all the world's penguins?

-Galapagos?

-Galapagos.

-The Galapagos are almost on the Equator.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, they're the furthest. The fairy penguins are Australian.

-Yeah.

Emperor penguins, Antarctic. So, yeah, Galapagos.

We believe that is the Galapagos,

cos the emperor penguins

are in Antarctica and

the fairy penguins are in Australia.

Galapagos penguin is quite right.

OK.

They are just showing off their penguin knowledge there.

Goodness me!

Which of these politicians was one of the four main

candidates in the 2015 Labour leadership election?

I think it was Kendall, wasn't it? Yeah, absolutely.

It was Liz Kendall.

Liz Kendall is correct.

OK, they're ahead.

Eggheads.

Who was the drummer in the rock band Cream?

-Ginger Baker.

-It's Ginger Baker.

-Ginger Baker, Cream.

Well, I'm reliably informed

that it was Ginger Baker.

And I'm not going to argue

with the gentleman on my left,

so Ginger Baker is our answer.

Dave would always know this one. Ginger Baker is right.

Yeah, cos Kenney Jones is The Who

and John Bonham was Led Zeppelin.

Kenney Jones... Oh, after Keith Moon...

Moon died. Yes, yeah.

All right, so two-two, very tight.

Get this one right and then you may not have to do any more work today,

apart from thinking up new books. Here's your question.

Which British film-maker made the 1972 film Deliverance?

-John Boorman.

-John Boorman.

John Boorman.

Oh, you are straight there.

You are quite right, John Boorman is right.

Played a perfect round.

£14,000 on the table.

You know you are up against a good team here, Eggheads.

-Yeah. Definitely.

-Absolutely.

Let's see if you now mess up and hand them the jackpot.

Aqua regia is the name for a concentrated mix of nitric

and which other acid?

-It's hydrochloric, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Nitric and hydrochloric.

-Yes, OK.

Aqua regia is a mix of

nitric acid and hydrochloric acid.

And it is quite well-known as an acid

because it dissolves...

-Gold.

-..gold and silver.

-Your answer is hydrochloric?

-Mm-hm.

It's correct.

Three points each. We go back to our Challengers.

It's Sudden Death now.

£14,000, we are playing for.

It gets a bit harder, I don't give you alternatives.

Angel, Beast, Cyclops, Iceman and Marvel Girl were

the original members of which superhero team,

which first appeared in print in 1963?

-BOTH:

-The X-Men.

-The X-Men?

-Absolutely.

-The X-Men.

The X-Men is correct.

Haven't got a hair out of place so far.

Criminal Element.

Eggheads, what was the nationality of the Olympic champion skier

Franz Klammer?

-Austrian?

-Austrian?

-Definitely. Yeah, he was Austrian.

-He won in Innsbruck, didn't he?

-Yeah.

Franz Klammer was an Austrian.

Austrian is correct.

£14,000, Sudden Death.

Couldn't be tighter.

Here's your question.

Which type of whale, often said to be the most vocal of all whales,

uses a unique method of feeding called bubble netting?

The humpback whale is the one that's known for its singing.

And that's the one that you get on,

like, whale music, but... I don't know anything

about bubble netting, but they're certainly the ones

-that are known for singing.

-I...

It's the only thing we've got any kind of angle on,

so we'll just have to...

-For me, yeah.

-..go with it.

-OK.

We're going to go with humpback.

Are they right?

-I think so, yes.

-Yes, you are right.

The bubbles are exhaled as the whale swims

and then the food above the whale is trapped.

And then the other whales can then enter and eat that food.

Maybe you're about to be eaten, Eggheads.

You get this wrong, it's over.

In Greek mythology, what was the name of the king of Iolcos

who sent Jason on the quest to find the golden fleece?

Should know this, but...

-HE MUMBLES

-Well, it's a fairly obscure one.

Um...

Hm.

King of Iolcos.

Remember the name of the king of Colchis?

No.

Hm, I might be getting the two mixed up, you see.

-Think Iolcos.

-Deities.

Aegisthus?

Is that a name? Does that mean anything?

Well, I mean, he's certainly a charac...

Aegisthus.

That might be worth a...

try cos, as I say, I think the one that I am...

the name that popped into my head...

Aeetes, I think I've got the wrong end of the quest there.

-I think he was Colchis.

-Yeah.

-What, Medea's father?

-Yeah.

-Mm-hm.

-Yeah.

I'm not sure about that, but that's the only name that's come to mind.

Yeah. I mean, I guess this is certainly...

-I mean, he's involved somewhere.

-Somewhere along the line.

Should we go for that?

Well, we are struggling with this one.

We've mentioned a few things kings of Greek islands,

so in the end, I think we're going to go for Aegisthus.

-Aegisthus?

-Mm-hm.

OK. Do you know the answer here?

-No.

-By any chance?

-Not a Scooby.

-No.

Don't think it's right, but...

Yeah, I could tell you don't think it's right.

His name was Pelias.

We say congratulations, Challengers, you have won!

Is it now...? I'm just thinking.

I was suddenly thinking, Kevin, with your amazing brain,

Pelias was going to flip suddenly into your...

No, no, I mean, as soon as you say, yeah. But, no, no.

Well, you played... Honestly, that was trench warfare there.

You had to fight them toe-to-toe

to get them to bump into the wrong answer.

Well done, guys. It was teamwork. It was teamwork.

It's not easy. You made it look easy, and that's the highest praise.

-Well done. BOTH:

-Thank you.

-So, you don't need to

write a book now about the murder of five quiz experts.

LAUGHTER

They might write a book about us.

No, you've got a bit of Eggheads history there. Well done.

-Thank you so much. ALL:

-Thank you.

Well done, Val and Criminal Element, who've won £14,000.

Crime writers are officially cleverer than Eggheads.

We now know that. We've proved it. And we've proved they could be

beaten. I didn't think you were

going to be stopped for a while, so they've done really well.

Join us next time, won't you, to see if a new team of Challengers

will be just as successful? Till then, goodbye.