Episode 5 Eggheads

These people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together, they make up the Eggheads -

arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to Eggheads, the show where a team of five quiz Challengers

pit their wits against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

They are the Eggheads. Full of knowledge, as I can see.

-I hope so.

-Yeah.

Hoping to get one over on our quiz champions today

are We're Doomed, from Norfolk. Now, this family team

are all based in and around Thetford, famous for

being the filming location for the television series Dad's Army.

Let's meet them.

Hi, I'm Simon, I'm a university lecturer.

Hi, I'm Chris, and I'm an accountant.

Hi, I'm Brian, and I work in business banking.

Hi, I'm Dave, and I'm an operations director.

Hi, I'm Pete, and I'm a retired accountant.

-So, Simon and team, hello.

-Hi.

And, Simon, let's just work out the family relationships here.

You and Chris next to you are brothers, is that right?

-That's right, yeah. And then next to Chris...?

-So, Brian's my dad.

-Yep.

-Dave is my uncle.

-Right.

-And Pete is my mum's cousin's husband.

Hang on, your mum's...

-your mum's cousin's husband?

-Yep.

-All right.

And the Dad's Army connection, tell us all about that.

Yeah, so Dad's Army, the outdoor scenes were filmed

in and around Thetford and the surrounding areas.

-And the town is also home to the Dad's Army Museum.

-What's it like?

-I've never been there.

-It's good, it is, it's really good.

Are you going into "Don't tell him, Pike," mode, Chris?

-GERMAN ACCENT:

-Your name vill also go on ze list!

LAUGHTER

Good luck, Challengers.

Every day, there is £1,000 worth of cash up for grabs.

However, if the Challengers don't defeat the Eggheads,

that prize money goes on to the next show.

Now, We're Doomed, the Eggheads have won just the last game.

They had a bit of an awkward moment, which we mustn't talk about,

they then got back on track,

so there's £2,000 to win today.

-Would you like to try?

-Yes.

Brilliant, let's crack on.

The first head-to-head battle is on the subject of Film And TV.

One of you against either Dave, Chris, Pat, Steve or Lisa.

-Right, what do we think?

-We haven't discussed this!

You haven't discussed it?

We have other rounds, but not this one, unfortunately. Erm...

-Make a decision.

-Me?

Yeah, yes, I think so. Yeah. OK.

-Brian?

-Yeah.

Is in business banking. Against which Egghead? Any one of them.

-Chris.

-Go for Chris?

-Chris.

-Chris.

-Yeah, Chris, please.

-Very good.

So, Brian from We're Doomed versus

Chris from We're Not Quite Doomed Yet.

To ensure there's no conferring, would you please take

your positions in our famous Question Room?

Chris, Film And TV, anything exciting you at the moment?

-Not really, Jeremy, no.

-Right.

Still watching Family Guy, "American Dad!",

Seth MacFarlane cartoons in general.

-That's quite a lot, isn't it?

-Yeah, yeah.

Brian, Film And TV is the subject,

would you like to go first or second?

Could I go second, please, Jeremy?

Here we go, Chris, with your question.

Film And TV. Who stars as Dave Lister in the sitcom Red Dwarf?

Another favourite programme of mine, that's Craig Charles.

Yes, it is Craig Charles, well done. Also appears on Radio 2 a bit.

Brian, your question.

Which of these TV programmes were centred on

a group of young people who are members of a youth club?

Grange Hill was school.

Not aware of Press Gang.

Byker Grove?

Yeah, well done, Byker Grove is right, Brian.

Chris, your question.

The cartoon show Top Cat was developed by Hanna-Barbera

to ape the formula of which existing sitcom?

It's The Phil Silvers Show, otherwise known as Sergeant Bilko.

What's the connection here?

Well, he's a wisecracking, smart-aleck leader of a gang.

There is actually a bit of a carry-over

from The Phil Silvers Show, insomuch as the actor

who played Duane Doberman in Bilko

actually did the voice of Benny the Ball.

Wow, the stuff you know, Chris.

-It would be funny if it was the wrong answer, wouldn't it?

-It would.

It is correct, though, The Phil Silvers Show it is.

Brian, here's your question.

Which actress's career has included starring roles in the films

Swing Shift, Protocol and There's A Girl In My Soup?

Erm...

It's not Bette Midler.

I don't think it's Diane Keaton. So I'll have to say Goldie Hawn.

Yeah, I love the way you eliminate.

It's absolutely right, well done, Goldie Hawn it is.

So 2-2. Pretty tight, pretty tense.

Chris, the Oliver Stone film Natural Born Killers is based on

an original screenplay by which other film-maker?

Ah, Natural Born Killers.

Hmm.

Martin Scorsese tends to do mob-based things,

it wasn't a mob-based story.

Brian De Palma gets into more sort of semi-supernatural territory.

So Natural Born Killers, I would suspect,

was originally written by Quentin Tarantino.

Well done, Quentin Tarantino it is.

He's got three out of three, Brian,

you've got to get this right to stay in.

What is the name of Woody Allen's character in the film Annie Hall?

Erm...

Struggling now.

Alvy Singer?

I'll go for, with no logic at all, Miles Monroe.

The answer is Alvy Singer.

So sorry, Brian, you've been knocked out,

just pipped at the post there by Chris, who got three out of three.

Chris, you're in the final round, well done.

Difficult start for our Challengers,

but plenty of time to make up the gap.

Please rejoin your teams.

There's a great fact about Pike in Dad's Army,

just while we're on the subject of Dad's Army.

He used to wear a scarf in the actual sitcom.

In the end credits, where he's walking along,

he's not wearing the scarf, he's wearing something else.

Anyone know what it is?

We should know...

They left the scarf at the hotel.

He's wearing a blue tea towel.

Because they left the scarf.

So, We're Doomed have lost one brain from the final round.

The Eggheads have not lost any yet.

There they are, all five, let's see if we can crack an Egg here, guys.

The next subject for you is Arts And Books.

Oh, dear!

-That's going to be you, Pete, surely?

-Yeah, OK.

Who do you want to play against?

-Who's it going to be?

-I'll do that, Jeremy.

-OK, Pete.

And I'll take on Tremendous Knowledge Dave.

All right, so Pete, who's - I've got it now -

Simon and Chris' mum's cousin's husband.

I'm there with it! I've worked it out.

He's taking on Tremendous Knowledge Dave, from the Eggheads.

Please, take your positions, gentlemen.

So the Challengers are called We're Doomed, and, Dave, I was

thinking we should just remember where that phrase comes from.

Do you remember the character?

-Frazer, isn't it?

-Yeah, it's Private Frazer.

-Yes.

-SCOTTISH ACCENT:

-We're Doomed!

-Or Frazier, maybe?

-No, Frazer.

-Frazer?

Frazer, definitely. John Laurie played the character.

John Laurie, brilliant, yeah!

I guess you would have known that, Pete?

Having gone to the museum quite recently, yes.

Arts And Books, and would you like to go first or second?

I'll go first, please, Jeremy.

Here we go.

What is the name of the gentleman adventurer who is the protagonist

of the Jules Verne novel Around The World In 80 Days?

Right, I haven't heard of Humbert Humbert.

Jean Valjean, I think, sounds like from Les Miserables.

I'll go for Phileas Fogg.

Phileas Fogg is completely right, well done, Pete.

And, Dave, can you help us with Humbert Humbert?

I thought it was Lolita.

-Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov?

-Yes, yeah.

OK, your question, Tremendous Knowledge Dave -

what French phrase is commonly used to denote artists

who are at the forefront of what they do?

The only one that I associate with that type of thing is avant-garde.

Avant-garde is quite right.

Pete, back to you. 1-1.

In which decade did Ted Hughes become poet laureate?

I think 1990s would be too late.

And I recall possibly he was in the 1970s.

So my answer's 1970s.

Later, actually.

-The '80s.

-Right, OK.

Dave.

Inspector Japp appears in several crime novels by which writer?

Japp? Never heard of it.

Ian Rankin, I just assume with Rebus.

Yeah, it makes sense, I'm going to rule out Raymond Chandler,

simply on the fact it's an inspector.

I don't think there's many inspectors in American novels.

Being foolish there.

I'm going to go Agatha Christie, just on the percentage.

But I've not heard of it.

-Let's see if Lisa knows. Lisa?

-Yeah, pops up in Poirot novels a lot.

So, yes, it's Agatha Christie, Dave. Well done.

Good bit of logic.

So, two to the Eggheads, one to the Challenger.

You've got to get this one right now, Pete.

For Esme, With Love And Squalor is a short story published

in a 1953 collection entitled Nine Stories by which American writer?

I know JD Salinger wrote Catcher In The Rye in the early '50s,

if I'm not mistaken.

I don't know much about Norman Mailer.

Henry Miller was quite prolific.

I know Salinger did actually do short stories,

so I'll go JD Salinger.

Well played, it's right, JD Salinger.

Dave, over to you, you can win the round with this question.

Which island is one of the settings of Shakespeare's play Othello?

Yeah, more in Venice, but I think it's Cyprus.

Your answer is Cyprus for Othello.

If you've got it right, you're in the final, Dave.

Well played, Cyprus it is. Three out of three. Sorry, Pete.

Well played, Dave.

They're getting back on track, these Eggheads, they're quite formidable.

And, Pete, you've been knocked out.

Come back to us and rejoin your team-mates.

So, as it stands,

We're Doomed have lost two brains from the final round.

The Eggheads have not lost any so far.

And the next subject for you, Challengers, is Sport.

Who would like Sport?

-Genius?

-Yeah, I think that's pretty obvious.

-That'd be me, Jeremy.

-OK, it's going to be Chris.

Accountant. Against Pat or Steve or Lisa.

-Lisa?

-Lisa?

-Lisa.

-Lisa.

-Yep, Lisa, please, Jeremy.

-Very good.

So, Chris, from We're Doomed.

-How's that, Lisa, good?

-Erm, not unanticipated.

-You were thinking it was heading your way?

-Yeah, pretty much.

Lisa from the Eggheads.

Both of you, please go to our Question Room now.

-Good luck here, Chris.

-Thank you.

As we're on a Dad's Army theme,

I can tell you that the Eggheads don't like it up 'em.

So, Sport, and would you like to go first or second?

I'll go first, please, Jeremy.

Here's your first question. Good luck.

In which sport might one be most likely to make a move

known as a body check?

I'll go straight in for ice hockey, please, Jeremy.

Yeah, I was thinking quizzing was going to be in there,

but ice hockey's the right answer.

Lisa, which of the following

was the British racing driver James Hunt's nickname?

It was slightly unfair, really,

because he developed an early reputation for recklessness,

got in a few accidents,

and got stuck with Hunt The Shunt for the rest of his career.

-So, yes, it was The Shunt.

-It was indeed The Shunt.

Back to you, Chris.

How many Epsom Derby winners did Lester Piggott ride in his career?

Well.

Although I follow horse racing a little bit...

..I don't know.

-I shall go down the middle with six, please, Jeremy.

-Six.

-Let's just see, Eggheads?

-Nine.

Nine, says Tremendous Knowledge Dave and he's right,

nine is the answer, Chris. Sorry.

HE SIGHS

So, Lisa has a chance to take the lead against We're Doomed.

Chris Read of Nottinghamshire performed which role, Lisa,

for the England cricket team?

See, I can just about, just about, if I really try,

stay up to date with modern cricket.

And then you say "performed", which means historical cricket,

where I haven't got a chance.

And it's not even as if he's Yorkshire.

Which makes life much harder.

Nottinghamshire...

No, can't think... Ugh!

This is horrible.

Where do I go?

Poor Chris is sitting there,

banging his head against things, going, "Why didn't I get this?"

-Let's say he was a fast bowler.

-Fast bowler.

Now, Chris, you will know the answer to this?

I do, yes, he was a wicketkeeper, and still is, for Notts.

Yeah, wicketkeeper is the answer, Lisa.

So, level.

Third question to you, Chris.

Antonio is the middle name of which snooker world champion?

Tough question, tough question.

Stephen Antonio Hendry?

John Antonio Higgins.

Ronnie...

I'm going to take Ronnie O'Sullivan out of the picture.

-Let's go Stephen Hendry.

-Yeah, I can see why,

Ronnie O'Sullivan, it would be inconvenient, wouldn't it?

Because it would be Antonio O'Sullivan. A double O.

I think your team-mates know, do you?

We'd guess at Ronnie O'Sullivan.

We might have gone for Ronnie O'Sullivan.

You would have gone for Ronnie O'Sullivan,

and that is the right answer.

Chris, let's see. If Lisa gets this right, she's in the final round.

The American runner Gwen Torrence

won her last Olympic gold medal at the 1996 Games in which event?

Aw, man.

I can see her in me head. Big, powerful lady.

Lots and lots of hair, big ponytail.

Now, my first thought before it came up was that she was a 400 runner.

The problem is, of course, if she won more than one,

then the relay medals come last in the events order.

So, technically she would have won it in the relay.

It's difficult, if you're a talented sprinter

you'd be across all the events.

No, I could sit here all day and not have

a better basis for narrowing it down than first instinct.

I will try 400m.

-Relay is the answer, the 4x100m.

-Aargh!

So you just missed your chance of going straight through to the

final there. We go to Sudden Death.

Well done, Chris, you're still in it.

It gets a bit harder now, OK?

I don't give you different options.

In which decade was Roger Federer born?

Well, he's going to have to be mid-30s...

Which, obviously,

would make him either going to be late '70s or early '80s.

I'm going to go with the '80s, Jeremy.

1980s is right.

And your logic was great, cos it is actually '81,

so it's right on the cusp.

-Yeah, it was very close.

-That's tricky.

Well done.

OK, Lisa.

Who was Rubens Barrichello's team-mate while driving for

Ferrari from 2000 to 2005?

Rubens Barrichello's team-mate at Ferrari from 2000 to 2005?

-Yes.

-When poor old Rubens Barrichello couldn't get

a look-in at anything despite the fact

Ferrari were winning everything in sight?

That would be Michael Schumacher.

Michael Schumacher is the right answer.

Sudden Death. Back to you, Chris.

At the Winter Olympics,

what is the shortest distance over which

a short-track speed-skating race is run?

That's probably once around the track.

How far is a track?

Is it going to be 400m? That's probably too far, thinking about it.

Um...

I am going to go, Jeremy, 200m.

It's 500m.

OK.

I guess they go very, very fast.

HE CHUCKLES

So, Lisa, you can take the round now with this answer.

Which male British tennis player won the boys 12 years and under

competition of the Junior Orange Bowl in Florida

in 1999?

In Florida.

Didn't necessarily have to be training there,

I guess, at the time.

The one you're going to put in the frame on the dates,

cos he was born '87, is Sir Andrew Murray.

Let me just have a little think in case it is anybody else.

It would be really cruel if it was Jamie, wouldn't it?

No, Jamie is older.

Jamie's older. OK, so, hang on. No, that can't work.

So I will go for Andy Murray.

-Andy Murray is the right answer.

-Oh, get in!

Well done, you've won the round with Andy Murray there, Lisa.

Chris, you were toe-to-toe, you did really well,

but she has won through. She will be in the final and you won't.

One more round before the final, let's play it.

So, Challengers, you have lost three brains,

but you know what I'm going to say.

Don't panic. THEY LAUGH

As it stands, We're Doomed have lost these three brains.

The Eggheads are still all sitting there.

This is the time to take one of them out. OK?

The subject for you is Geography.

Who wants this?

That would be me.

OK, Dave, operations director, against which Egghead?

You've only got two left, Steve and Pat.

-Pat?

-Steve.

-Well, who do you reckon?

-Steve.

-Do you?

That's what I would say, yeah.

I'll take on Steve, Jeremy.

You are weighing that up very carefully, I can tell.

OK, Dave from We're Doomed plays Steve from the Eggheads

on Geography.

Please take your positions.

Dave, you have done some travelling, I know.

I have, yes. Yeah, I've been lucky in that respect.

Tell us the most fascinating place you have been to.

Probably the Great Barrier Reef.

Would you like to go first or second on Geography?

I'll go first, please, Jeremy.

And here we go. Good luck.

Grangemouth in East Stirlingshire is home to one of the biggest

examples of what in Europe?

That's not a good start.

I don't think it's airport.

Probably not a tower block, so I'll go for oil refinery.

You're quite right, oil refinery.

Steve, which of these island groups

lies about 25 miles off the coast of Cornwall?

Well, if my UK geography bears up, it must be Isles of Scilly.

Yes, it is the Isles of Scilly.

Cracking on here.

Geography we're on. Back to you, Dave.

Which of these rivers flows out into the Bristol Channel?

That's the Severn.

All right, the River Severn is right.

So, our Challenger takes the lead.

Steve, to catch up, your question.

Tepui is the name for the kind of tabletop mountains that are

found on which continent?

-Can you spell tepui for me, please?

-Of course. T-E-P-U-I.

I was thinking, to start with, it sounded a bit Maori-like,

an Aborigine word, but now I'm not too sure.

Tepui.

I suppose you could... In South America or Africa.

I'll go with my first thought, which was Australia.

But I'm not confident.

Let's see if Lisa knows.

-SHE CHUCKLES

-Do you know what?

This time, I don't think it is Australia,

cos linguistically, I would've gone South America.

-Yeah, Lisa is right, South America is the answer.

-Right.

A rare error from Steve. Hm. Doesn't happen very often, Dave,

watching him play.

This is the time to take advantage.

Get this right, you're in the final, and maybe it starts to turn.

The 13km-long Fox Glacier

is located in which country?

Fox is just F-O-X.

-HE SIGHS

-Don't know.

All I can go by is...

..the fact its name is Fox.

I would tend to go for New Zealand.

Again, we are down that part of the world, aren't we?

If it's right, you are in the final.

The answer is New Zealand. Well done, Dave!

No way back for our Egghead there, Steve. There we go.

On a question which featured Australia.

So, Dave, maybe things are turning now.

Come back to us and we will play the final round.

Bad luck, Steve. I think that's the first time you've lost in Geography.

I'm sure it won't be the last.

And this is what we have being playing towards.

It's time for our final round.

As always, it's General Knowledge,

but I'm afraid those of you who lost your head-to-heads

won't be allowed to take part

in this round. So that is Chris, Brian and Pete

from We're Doomed and Steve from the Eggheads. Let's see who's doomed.

But you need to leave the studio.

Simon and Dave, you are playing to win We're Doomed £2,000.

Lisa, Pat, Chris and Dave, you are playing for something that

money can't buy, which is the Eggheads' reputation.

As usual, I'll ask each team three questions in turn.

They're all general knowledge and, gentlemen, you can confer.

So, Simon and Dave, We're Doomed, the question is,

are your two brains powerful enough to doom these four over here?

Would you like to go first or second?

We'll go first, please, Jeremy.

Playing for £2,000, your first question.

What is the French name for the month of March?

-Mars, it's Mars.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-OK, I will settle for your decision.

-Yeah.

-Mars.

-Mars is right.

M-A-R-S.

Eggheads,

fleapit is a term most commonly applied to an old,

rundown example of which of these?

-Cinema.

-Cinema? Yeah?

-Cinema.

That's a cinema.

It is a cinema.

Your question, Challengers.

Alexandra Mary are the middle names of which member of the royal family?

-BOTH:

-Alexandra Mary.

So... Elizabeth Alexandra Mary,

Anne Alexandra Mary or...

The Duchess of Cornwall is Kate Middleton, isn't it?

I don't know.

I don't think it's very likely to be

the Duchess of Cornwall.

No, the Duchess of Cornwall is Camilla Parker Bowles, isn't it?

Alexandra Mary...

My instinct is the Princess Royal.

-Same as mine.

-Was it?

-Yeah.

We both got that instinct.

-We're probably both wrong.

-Yeah.

-It doesn't matter, we both feel the same. Good, go for it.

-Yeah?

As you can probably gather,

we're not very sure,

but we will go with the Princess Royal, please.

So, the Princess Royal

is your answer, Princess Anne.

Let's just check. Eggheads? Is that right or not?

It's the Queen.

-The Queen herself!

-Mm-hm.

The Queen.

-Wow.

-I would have struggled with that too.

-They don't often mention them.

-We feel better.

Eggheads, your question,

to take the lead.

In Greek mythology, what was Talos,

the giant that protected the island of Crete, made from?

-Yeah, it was bronze.

-Bronze? OK.

-Man of bronze.

-Man of bronze?

-Yeah.

-All right. OK.

-Yeah.

He popped up in the Ray Harryhausen film

Jason And The Argonauts,

and he was made of bronze.

Bronze is correct.

So the Eggheads are ahead.

You've got to get this one right to stay in, guys.

There's no two ways about it.

The village of Adlestrop,

immortalised in a poem by Edward Thomas,

is in which traditional English county?

Obviously, we don't know. We're going to have to...

-An educated guess.

-Hm.

-Do you know anything about Edward Thomas?

-No.

-No.

Neither do I.

It doesn't sound Kentish, does it?

-No.

-Don't let me put you off.

-No, no, no. Don't. No.

I'd have been between Derbyshire and Gloucestershire.

Yeah, which one would you have gone for?

I think it sounds more Gloucestershire, West Country.

-But I don't know.

-Well...

What is your gut feeling?

I might have heard of it if it was in Derbyshire.

-It's a little bit closer.

-Oh, yeah, that's true.

It could still be Derbyshire.

I've not really explored Derbyshire properly. But...

-Gloucestershire?

-Yeah.

-Let's go for it.

-Yeah?

-Let's go for it.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Again, we're not sure.

But we will take a wild punt

at Gloucestershire,

please, Jeremy.

Eggheads, are they right?

-Yep.

-You're right. It is Gloucestershire, well done.

That was very well played, actually.

You stayed in the contest with that answer of Gloucestershire.

But the Eggheads can end it now.

The actress Helen Bonham Carter is the great-granddaughter

of which British prime minister?

(Herbert Asquith.)

-Chris, you're right. Yeah, it's Asquith.

-Asquith?

-Yeah, Herbert Asquith.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Without question.

We think that's Herbert Asquith.

You don't seem to be in any doubt, Eggheads.

That's always worrying when that's the case.

If the answer is right, the contest is over,

you would have got three out of three in the final round.

Helen Bonham Carter is the great-granddaughter of

Herbert Asquith.

We say congratulations, Eggheads, you have won.

-The Queen's middle names.

-Wow.

Well, I agree. I didn't know that.

-That's not something we conjure with very often.

-No.

But then they all knew it because...

Well, yeah, it's after her grandmother and great-grandmother.

Of course.

-Ah.

-Don't rub it in or anything, Chris, will you?

-Don't make it sound obvious.

-Thanks for that, Chris(!)

-LISA:

-It's very unfair -

she's the only woman in the world that barely even needs a first name

and we're asking about the other ones.

Oh, commiserations, We're Doomed, you played brilliantly,

brought a great team name to us

and a bit of Thetford history as well.

The Eggheads are back on track, no doubt about that.

They've done what comes naturally to them, most of the time.

You rein supreme over quiz land, Eggs,

so it does mean the Challengers don't go home with the £2,000.

Therefore, we roll that money over to our next exciting show.

Eggheads, are you starting to be unbeatable?

Join us next time to see if a new team of Challengers can come

in the studio and bring them down. £3,000 will be on the table.

Until we play again, goodbye.