Episode 116 Eggheads

These five people are amongst the greatest quiz players in Britain.

Together they make up the Eggheads, arguably the most formidable quiz team in the country.

The question is, can they be beaten?

Welcome to Eggheads, where five quiz challengers

pit their wits against possibly the greatest quiz team in Britain.

You might recognise them, as they are Goliaths in the world of TV quiz shows -

they are the Eggheads.

And taking on the awesome might of our quiz Goliaths today are...

The team all know one another

through working together as stand-up comedians and entertainers on the UK comedy circuit.

-Let's meet them.

-Hi, I'm David. I'm 59, I'm a comedy entertainer.

Hi, I'm Andy, 39, and I'm a comedian.

Hi, I'm Rod, 57 and I'm a comedian.

Hello, I'm Bruce. I'm 59. I'm a comedy entertainer and musician.

Hi, everybody. I'm JP. I'm 52 and I'm also a comedy entertainer.

-David, great to have talent in the studio.

-Goliath, David.

Yeah, exactly! You know what happened in that competition.

I very much do, so let's hope history repeats itself.

-Bruce, you actually won New Faces in 1975.

-I did.

30, 30 - a few years back!

THEY LAUGH

One of those shows they always say was THE forerunner of all the reality stuff we have now.

I think so - except your researcher hadn't heard of it.

-Too young. Too young.

-They're all 17 - it's shocking.

Good luck, guys. We're rooting for you.

Every day there is £1,000 worth of cash up for grabs for our challengers.

However, if they fail to defeat the Eggheads, the prize money rolls over to the next show.

So Midland Mirth Makers, the Eggheads have won the last three games -

which means £4,000 says you can't beat the Eggheads.

-Are you ready?

-ALL: We are ready. Ready to go.

First head-to-head battle will be on the subject of Film And Television.

How about that? Up your street?

-ALL: Andy.

-Shall I take that one?

-Are you going to take it?

-I'll take that one.

-Good man.

-Bite the bullet, get it over and done with.

You need to pick an Egghead on Film And Television to go up against.

-Who should I take?

-They're all so good.

We had a list and I've left it.

-We left the list in the dressing room.

-That may help.

-It's Film And TV.

-Which one should I do?

This is the easiest question of the night.

Kevin? I'm going...to have a chat... I'm going to do it with Kevin.

-I'll take Kevin. Why not?

-All right.

So Andy from the Midland Mirth Makers versus Kevin from the Eggheads -

to ensure there's no conferring, please go to the question room.

-So, Andy, good luck.

-Thank you.

I know you're used to the spotlight.

Film And Television is the subject.

You can choose the first or second set of questions.

I'll go first, Jeremy.

Andy, who directed the movies, Armageddon, The Rock and Transformers?

Now, I believe it was Michael Bay who directed those three films.

-Oh, no hesitation at all on that - you're right.

-Excellent!

Great play by our comedians.

-Fantastic.

-You'll be shocked to learn I've actually seen those.

I don't believe you, CJ. On with a question for Kevin.

Who played the role of the rock singer Aldous Snow, in the 2008 film comedy, Forgetting Sarah Marshall?

I haven't seen it

but I believe the pop star character in that is played by Russell Brand.

I'm not certain but I think it's Russell Brand.

You're right. Never heard of him - what does he do(?)

THEY CHUCKLE

One all.

Andy -

the first series of which American TV show centred around the suicide of Mary Alice Young?

Well, I do know that a certain series started

with a suicide of a woman and she continues in the show

as an off-stage narrator and that show was Desperate Housewives.

Lovely job, Andy. You're right.

-Fantastic.

-Whoa!

Kevin, who played the role of Carey Mahoney in the first four Police Academy films?

The only one of those that I know was in the Police Academy films -

I think I only ever saw the first one - was Steve Guttenberg.

So I'll have to hope his character was called Carey Mahoney.

-That's your answer?

-Yeah.

-It's right.

Two all. Tight round - two great players here.

Andy, back to you.

Which former newspaper editor was the only celebrity fired

from a special charity edition of The Apprentice in 2007

but went on to win an American version of the show a year later?

Right. Hmm.

Rosie Boycott, I've seen her about.

I, er, don't imagine it's her sort of thing doing The Apprentice.

I don't remember that. I'm going to go with Kelvin MacKenzie.

It may be wrong but... that's what I'm going do.

Sorry, Andy, it is wrong.

-Ah.

-It was Piers Morgan.

-Ah.

-Piers Morgan. Bad luck.

Kevin, for the round.

Which English musician starred in the 1979 film, Quadrophenia?

I think he played a hotel - what the Americans would call a bellhop -

who actually moonlighted as the style icon and leader of a gang of mods.

It was Sting.

It was Sting, Kevin, well done.

Tight round, and well played by our challenger -

but sorry, Andy, you won't be joining us in the final round.

Please come back and join your teams.

So, as it stands, the challengers have lost one brain from the final round - bad luck, Andy.

Eggheads have not lost any brains, so they're in the lead.

Next subject is Science. Which challenger wants Science

and against which Egghead?

-Mmm.

-Any good on that?

-Science is a pretty broad one.

-It is.

-Very broad.

-You're all looking at me.

You're all looking at me, aren't you?

-You're on the end!

-That's why we're looking at you.

Choosing between comedians is never easy.

Jeremy, I think it's lamb to the slaughter - it's me - and I'd like to play against Judith.

Ooh! All right.

JP from the Midland Mirth Makers versus our Judith from the Eggheads.

To ensure no conferring, take your positions.

Three multiple choice questions on science, and JP you can choose whether you go first or second.

I know usually it's ladies first but in this case, I think I'll go first.

OK, JP, here we go.

When discussing how the range of the tides is affected by the relative positions of the sun and moon,

which word has the opposite meaning to "neap"?

Erm...this is the most awful thing you ever can imagine, isn't it?

The first question - I haven't got the faintest idea.

Er, I'll go for...spring.

Somehow your team have managed to send thoughts in your direction,

because you got it right.

It was a difficult question

but most of you here seemed to know the answer to that.

-Yes.

-We also know Derren Brown. We've been on intensive training for two weeks. It's working.

It worked!

Well done, one point to you.

Judith, in which part of the human body is the gluteus maximus muscle located?

I don't think it's neck.

Erm, I think it's buttock.

I hope.

-Buttock is the correct answer.

-Yeah.

Question two, JP.

By what name is the light-sensitive layer which lines much of the inside of the eyeball known?

Inside...the cornea, I think, is on the outside.

I'll go for...retina.

-Two points, well done.

-Yeah!

-Retina is right.

-It is channelling.

-Yeah!

Channelling through, it's working. Don't channel to Judith by accident.

Judith, which bird is sometimes referred to as the undertaker bird

because of its carrion diet and dark upper plumage?

Well...I'm just trying to think which of them might be a vulture,

and I don't think a marabou stork is.

I think it's a condor.

-Condor is your answer?

-Yeah.

-You've fallen behind because it's wrong.

-Oh, no.

-It's marabou stork.

-Oh, no, I can't bear it.

I know what they look like, too. They're in Morocco.

All right.

If you get this right, JP, you have taken the round.

What is the most abundant mineral in the human body?

Ah...I know there's quite a lot of sodium. Um...

I think it's sodium - I'll go for sodium.

Sodium.

The problem here was that your team didn't know.

-They couldn't channel anything. It's not sodium, JP.

-Ah.

Sorry, it's calcium.

Judith, you have a chance to draw level but if you get this wrong...

you've gone.

Which deadly virus named after a city in Germany was first discovered in 1967?

The one that's standing out is Marburg.

The Marburg virus, what does that do?

I don't know...dead - kills you.

Kills you? Slowly?

-Slowly or quickly?

-I don't know.

It's right anyway, well done!

Two points apiece. So after those three questions,

the scores are level.

We'll go to sudden death and to make it that bit harder, these questions are not multiple choice.

Here we go, JP.

-Oh, dear.

-Come on, JP!

Which British born physicist who co-invented the transistor with John Bardeen and Walter Brattain

won the 1956 Nobel Prize in Physics?

No, I have to say, I'm sorry, I have to pass.

-Anyone know on your team?

-We're just channelling static at the moment.

-OK.

The answer is William Shockley.

-Of course. Of course.

-Oh, yeah, old Shockers.

Shockers!

Judith, which Italian-born American physicist born in 1901 discovered neutron-induced radioactivity

and directed the first controlled chain reaction involving nuclear fission?

-Is it Fermi? Fermi?

-I do need a first name and a last name.

-Enrico.

-What's the first name and the last name?

-Enrico Fermi.

-You are right. Well done, Judith.

-I don't believe it!

THEY ALL LAUGH

Well done, Judith.

That's a tough question as well.

Well done.

JP, you were beaten by our Egghead. Commiserations. We won't be seeing you in the final round.

Would you both please come back and rejoin your teams?

So, the challengers have lost two brains from the final round. The Eggheads haven't lost any.

Our next subject is Geography...Geography.

Which challenger on this and which Egghead?

We travel all over the UK and abroad and we pick up knowledge of geography,

so it's a luck of the draw.

-Shall I have a go?

-Have a go.

-Go on, Bruce.

-He's been around, has Bruce.

-Bruce has been around the longest.

-Wait for the video to come out.

-Who are we going to go with? Geography - they're all so good, it's ridiculous.

-CJ.

-CJ.

-CJ, please.

-CJ, please.

-CJ.

Right, so it's Bruce from the Midland Mirth Makers versus CJ from the Eggheads.

Please now take your positions in the question room.

So I'll ask each of you three questions on geography, in turn.

Multiple choice and, Bruce, you can choose the first or the second set.

Erm, I'll stick with the rest of the guys and go first.

Bruce, your first question.

In terms of surface area which is the smallest mainland state in Australia?

I've got to be honest and say, I don't know

and I'm not picking up any vibes from the other guys in the team.

Erm...I'm going to have to have a wild stab at Victoria.

-You ever been there on your travels?

-Nope.

-But you're right.

-Oh!

-Well done!

Wow, thanks!

CJ, Taunton is the administrative centre of which English county?

Gosh, if only I knew somebody who lived in Somerset!

If only she was bashing me every single day

about telling me about her boring little county.

I think it might be Somerset, Jeremy.

For that, you should get it wrong but it's actually right.

Daphne, can you grit your teeth

and confirm that?

-It's right. I'll get him after the show.

-You can get him afterwards.

-I always do.

Second question now, Bruce.

The ski resort of Klosters is located in which country?

Could you spell it, please?

It's K-l-o-s-t-e-r-s. Klosters.

I don't know what difference that made, actually.

It just gave me some thinking time. Um...

Oh. I don't think it's Italy.

It doesn't sound Italian.

I've got no idea.

Umm...

Switzerland.

-You're such a good guesser, you're right.

-Oh.

Well done!

In India, CJ, what is the "loo"?

-Can you spell it, please?

-L-o-o.

Thanks. I'm not aware of any volcanoes in India.

THE loo sounds a little too specific for something like an oxbow lake.

So I'll have to go for a wind.

It is the wind or a wind.

You're right. The loo wind.

Back to you, Bruce. Keep the pressure on him with this one.

The Niagara Falls waterfalls lie on the border of New York state and which Canadian province?

Quebec's...Eastern Canada?

I'm looking for an answer, but you're not going to tell me.

I wish I could.

Manitoba, I'm not sure. Oh.

I'll have a...

I think it's Ontario.

Team, is he right?

-He's right.

-We believe he is.

-He's right! Three out of three.

-ALL: Yeah!

-He's right.

-Well done, Bruce.

-Well done, Bruce.

-Yes!

OK, CJ.

You're playing the guy who won New Faces in 1975 and he's winning again here.

The rufiyaa is the official currency of which island group in the Indian Ocean?

I've never heard of it.

I don't know, so apologies to the team, except for Daphne.

So I will go for the one I know nothing about - the Comoros.

The Comoros.

I want an apology.

Daphne wants an apology, and you're out.

-It's not looking good, CJ, it's the Maldives.

-The Maldives.

You're wrong on Comoros.

-Well done, Bruce!

-TEAM-MATES: Yeah!

You took on one of our Eggheads and you emerged triumphant. Good news for the challengers...

-Thank you.

-..because you can play Bruce in the final round.

Congratulations. Please both of you come back and join your team-mates.

So as it stands, the challengers have lost two brains from the final round.

The Eggheads have lost one brain.

Our last subject is Sport. Feeling good about it, challengers?

-Yeah!

-I'll take Sport.

This young, athletic-looking man here is well into sport.

-He does a lot of sporting after-dinner speeches.

-OK.

-I think we're going to have Rod.

-Yup.

-ALL: Yeah.

Rod's the man.

-Don't go yet, tell us who you wanna play.

-Who're you gonna go for?

Daphne or Chris.

-Chris. I think I'll take Chris.

-Go for Chris.

It's Rod from the Midland Mirth Makers versus Chris from the Eggheads -

to ensure there's no conferring, please go to the question room.

I'll ask you each of you three questions on Sport in turn.

Rod, choose the first or second set of questions.

I'll go with the team - I'll go first.

Good luck to you both.

Rod, which Spanish driver became the youngest ever Formula One World Champion in 2005?

Erm...

..motor sport isn't my big...draw...

HE MOUTHS

..but I don't think it's Pedro de la Rosa,

although he's got a Spanish-sounding name.

Erm...I think he had problems with one of his team men.

I think it was Fernando Alonso.

-They're very pleased, well done.

-Yes!

One point to you.

Chequered flag for you.

Chris, which boxer was named BBC Sports Personality Of The Year in 1985?

Well, it's bit late for John Conteh.

And, of the two, I think it's a bit late for McGuigan as well.

I'd say Lennox Lewis.

Interesting, you've swerved away from the correct answer.

-It's Barry McGuigan, Chris.

-Is it?

The Clones Cyclone.

Over to you now, Rod.

Which swimming stroke comprises the final leg of the Olympic medley relay?

Well, I do know this, because although I don't look it now,

I used to be quite a good swimmer and it's freestyle.

-It is freestyle, brilliant!

-Wow!

-Great answer!

Every kind of stroke?

I've competed at most levels with the different strokes, but backstroke was my best stroke.

Your second question, Chris.

Which fast bowler, nicknamed the Rawalpindi Express, was banned for five years

from international and domestic matches by the Pakistan Cricket Board in 2008?

Hmm. I don't think it's Waqar Younis.

He's not been in trouble at all, as far as I can remember.

I don't think it's Mohammad Asif, either. I think it's Shoaib Akhtar.

It is Mr Akhtar, you're quite right.

Well done. So you have a point.

But if you get this, Rod -

you've taken the round and you're in the final round. Your third question.

You mustn't let him back in.

Darren Ferguson, the son of the Manchester United manager, Alex,

became the manager of which English football club in 2007?

Well, I know it's not Plymouth Argyle

because they pinched my team's manager some time ago.

I don't think it's Portsmouth. It was definitely Peterborough United.

He took them to promotion.

-Well done. It's Peterborough United.

-ALL: Yeah!

-You've got it.

Great play!

-Sweeps the board!

-Good comeback on the...something's happening here.

The energy's with you.

Well done, Rod - you took on our Egghead, you emerged triumphant.

Congratulations. Please come back and join your teams.

So, this is what we've been playing towards. It's time for the final round which is General Knowledge.

But I'm afraid those of you who lost your head-to-heads

won't be allowed to take part in this round.

So, Andy and JP from the Midland Mirth Makers,

and CJ and Chris from the Eggheads, would you please leave the studio?

So, David, Rod and Bruce, you're playing to win the Midland Mirth Makers £4,000.

Judith, Kevin and Daphne, you're playing for something which money can't buy -

the Eggheads' reputation.

As usual, I'll ask each team three questions in turn.

This time, the questions are all general knowledge. You are allowed to confer.

Midland Mirth Makers, are your three brains better than the Eggheads' three?

You can choose to have the first or second set of questions.

What shall we do - go with the flow or shall we mix it up? THEY CONFER

-You sure?

-Yup, go first.

-Shall we go third?

Yeah, we'll go first again.

Good luck...

-to the Midland Mirth Makers.

-Thank you.

In Scandinavian mythology, what is the name of the hall

in which the souls of those who have died in battle feast with Odin for eternity?

-I'm pretty sure I know it.

-It's Valhalla, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Is it Valhalla?

-Yeah.

-Definitely is - Valhalla. Without a shadow of a doubt.

-You sure?

I'd put my house on it.

-My house.

-You only live in a caravan.

-What about his house?

-Yeah, it's definitely Valhalla.

-Valhalla is your answer, it's correct, well done.

-Yeah!

Eggheads -

what would you do in a refectory?

You could do the others, but yes, eat.

Well, you could have a fight or a wash, but normally you would eat.

-It's a dining room.

-Dining room?

-Yes.

You'd eat. Exactly. Well done.

They do get slightly harder.

What is the only film directed by Alfred Hitchcock that won the Academy Award for Best Picture?

Right, Rebecca was one of his earlier ones.

It's a Daphne du Maurier film. I'm pretty sure that it was er...

-I don't think it would be Psycho, would it?

-No, it wasn't Psycho.

I'm pretty sure it was North By Northwest. It's an amazing film.

-Are we agreed on that?

-I think so, yeah.

OK, pretty sure, about 95%, it's North By Northwest.

-It's wrong.

-Ooh!

-Ah.

-It's Rebecca.

-Rebecca.

-I didn't know that.

OK. Your question,

Eggheads, to take the lead.

Maputo is the capital of which country?

(Mozambique.)

It was so funny

coz we were testing each other on capitals the other day,

and it's Mozambique.

You're right.

So they have the initiative

and you really need this question.

If you don't get it, that's the end of the contest.

Midland Mirth Makers - which secret agent nicknamed the Ace Of Spies

obtained Persian oil concessions and German naval secrets for Britain prior to his death in 1925?

I seem to recall there's a book or a film - Reilly, Ace Of Spies.

Do you remember that one? Was it a TV thing? That rings a bell to me now.

-I haven't a clue.

-It's not Blunt.

-Not Blunt. It's a gut instinct.

I just think Reilly, Ace Of Spies, I'm sure there was a TV production.

-OK.

-Shall we go with that?

-Yeah.

OK. Er, we might regret this, but we've got a feeling -

if my gut instinct and I'm channelling -

we'll go for Sidney Reilly.

I'm really glad you went with your gut instinct - you're right.

ALL: Wow.

He was the Ace Of Spies.

Good play.

Good assertion of a fact you weren't sure of.

-But well done.

-It came to me. It came to me.

-Well done.

Eggheads, third question. Get it right

and you've knocked out our wonderful Midland Mirth Makers, and the contest is yours.

Here it is. What is the name of the play written by Ken Campbell and Neil Oram that,

at 22 hours typical running time, is considered to be the longest play in the world?

No, I don't know. I have no idea. I was relying on you.

No, no, no, sorry - even I wouldn't go and see something for 22 hours.

-Um, I just don't know.

-No.

-I'd guess at The Quantum but I don't know.

-No.

-OK?

-Absolutely. I haven't got a clue.

-No.

The question has just completely floored us,

because none of us have heard of it

so we are going to go one in three - The Quantum.

-The Quantum is your answer?

-Yes.

-It's a great answer for the other team because it's wrong.

-Oh!

-It's The Warp.

-We knew that.

-We knew that!

OK, North By Northwest is forgiven.

We can quote every passage!

Three questions each you've had.

You move now to sudden death - it gets harder.

Here's your question, and they're egging you on behind.

Challengers, which word,

now more often used to mean extremely angry,

refers to skin that has a discoloured bluish appearance caused by a bruise?

Get red in the face... um, extremely angry.

-I'm thinking like fuming? Would that...?

-No, it isn't fuming.

-No.

Do you know it, but you can't think of it?

-It's the name of the actual... the wound, the bruise.

-Extremely angry.

Extremely angry. Think of some words.

That's not poly, which is many things...is that the skin?

I'm just trying to go quiet and just think on it. It's the angry bit.

-It's the angry bit. Er...

-I can only think of fuming, as a word.

-Distressed...

-I'll ask it again and then we need an answer.

-OK.

-Yup.

-Which word, now more often used to mean extremely angry,

refers to skin that has a discoloured bluish appearance caused by a bruise?

-Skin is like dermis.

-He wants an answer.

-Yeah, OK.

Fuming. That's the only word I can think of.

-Unless you can think of a better one. Fuming.

-It's a total guess.

We don't really know. So we're gonna go with Bruce and hope we're not going to be fuming after this answer.

We're going to go fuming.

I fear you are going to be fuming.

The answer you gave is wrong - the correct word is livid.

-Ohh.

-Livid.

-Oh. Oh.

-We're not livid.

-Sorry.

-You're the only one that come up with an answer.

Eggheads -

in which building did Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer marry in 1981?

-St Paul's Cathedral.

-St Paul's.

-If you get this, you've won the contest.

-DAPHNE CHUCKLES

St Paul's Cathedral.

-It's frightening when you're certain, Daphne.

-Yes.

Because I see it immediately. You're right.

It was St Paul's Cathedral. Sorry.

Congratulations, Eggheads.

You've won.

And well done, challengers - great quiz, great team to have in.

-Thank you.

-We loved it.

-Thanks for coming.

The Eggheads have done what comes naturally to them and still reign supreme over quiz land.

I'm afraid you're not leaving with £4,000. I don't need to remind you.

It does mean the money rolls over to our next show.

Eggheads, congratulations.

That look of certainty on Daphne's face, it's so terrifying.

Who will beat you?!

Join us next time to see if the new challengers have the brains to defeat the Eggheads.

£5,000 says they don't.

Till then, goodbye.

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