Episode 4 Great TV Mistakes


Episode 4

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Transcript


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Hello, I'm Robert Webb.

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Welcome to Great TV Mistakes.

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Over the next half hour, we'll be revealing the worst howlers ever broadcast.

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Mistakes my crack team of square-eyed OCD numpties

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refuse to rest until they have managed to show you the foul-ups

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they didn't want you to see.

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They meaning them, not you.

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Coming up - mistakes from...

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..and many, many more!

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TV shows are a huge investment of time, money and effort,

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but you can spend months and months getting something right,

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hiring the very best actors, camera persons, writers and crew,

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only to have the whole thing ruined by some extra in the background being a tit.

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These people are a menace, wandering in and out of the back of every shot,

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trying to be ordinary members of the public, who are the only things worse than extras.

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Nothing causes more trouble on set than members of the public.

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I hate them all. Apart from you, obviously.

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Some muscle-Mary slow-mo running now from legendary

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beachfront twaddle merchants Baywatch.

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See their toned torsos as they pound along the sand,

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see their hair blown by the gentle Pacific breeze,

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see the kid in the background pulling a moonie.

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That's worth a second look.

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Everyone's a critic.

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You don't have to. I'm sure you were freaked out.

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Totally.

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See this woman with the tartan top?

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Now remember her, cos this lady is about to take the art

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of the attention-seeking TV extra to a whole new dimension.

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This is Buffy's high school, and she is presumably the most mature student.

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I...think you're the coolest.

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There she is, drawing attention to herself with that big red bag.

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Now, spin on. And there she is again, walking in the opposite direction.

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No, she's not. She's over there, walking up some stairs,

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drawing attention to herself like those extras aren't supposed to.

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Back for more stair climbing, this time without the bag. Clever.

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Still going up the stairs.

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Mind you, at least we know where she is. No, we don't.

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Buffy, now she's behind you.

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"Right, I've had enough of this," said the director. "Get that woman out of my sight.

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"Nobody lets her back on this set."

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Whoa, how did that happen?

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Crafty cow, she's taken off her horrible tartan jacket and given the red bag to someone else.

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Damn you, nightmare tartan extra lady!

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Still, the jacket's gone, the bag's gone, and, finally, so is she.

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Or not.

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Ever get the feeling you're being followed?

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In this episode of Buffy,

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the lovely Eliza Dushku certainly does, and with good reason.

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The winners of the 2002 Most American Couple award

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walk behind her once, which is fine. Nothing wrong there.

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But twice is pushing it.

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That's borderline harassment.

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Three times is frankly unacceptable.

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That's a restraining order right there.

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They won't be trying that again... from the same direction.

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For Pete's sake, leave lovely Eliza alone!

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They'll be hiding in that bush outside her house next, and that's mine.

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Sex And The City, a show about four single young women.

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Well, three young women and the one who plays Samantha.

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But let's rewind and look at those two extras on the left of picture sitting side by side.

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Now, spin on and clearly one of them has dropped a massive guff

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because next time we see them,

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they're sitting miles away from each other in separate rows.

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Poor Sam. Must have been a pretty serious guff. Someone open a window!

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OK, listen everyone, we've got to get out of here.

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Back to the doctor, and here, Mickey is attempting to save

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a room full of headphone-wearing children.

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But they're all zombiefied.

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Mickey must have a background in IT cos he resorts to the tried and tested solution

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of just yanking out the plug and hoping for the best.

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Magically, it works, and removes the kids' headphones.

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And off they go, trudging out of a doomed building, smirking.

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Good work, kids, you're hired.

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This is where I was born.

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And this is where I died.

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More Doctor Who, and Billie's on the bus in contemplative mood.

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The first 19 years of my life, nothing happened.

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But keep your eyes on the extra who sits in the row behind her.

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Not ever.

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Oh, Billie, come on. Incredible things are happening all around you.

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That bloke jumped through time and space

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simply to get a better seat. Pay attention, girl.

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The X-Files, and Scully has a mysterious dead body to investigate.

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In this case,

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the mystery is why they chose

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the most fidgety man in North America to play the corpse.

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See how the faintest prod from Scully makes the big wuss blink.

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Not so much dead man's body, more big girl's blouse.

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But just in case anyone missed that, moments later,

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he leaves everyone at home in no doubt that this is just acting

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as Scully unwisely decides to balance

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this heavy plastic ruler on his tummy-wummy. "Ow, it's cold!"

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We've got a breather!

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I love Lost. It's top-notch allegorical surrealist drama

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with a satirical subtext.

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Plus, it's got that funny fat bloke with a beard.

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Yeah, he's got boobs like a lady.

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In fact, the only problem with this show is that it makes no sense.

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That, and the decision to use an extra with chronic asthma

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to play a corpse and then put him in the front of shot.

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Just look at this.

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Mind you, that fat bloke's funny. Oh, dear...

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I mean, dogs can find pot and bombs so...

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Time for more weird goings on in Lost, and look out for the lovely

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couple walking past in the background.

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Probably off to catch some fish.

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Wish they'd walk past again. Oh, lovely.

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That's the trouble with being marooned on a desert island, nothing to do but walk round in circles.

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This clip from Sex And The City proves that not all New Yorkers

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are used to seeing TV crews.

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This lady simply can't believe her eyes

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and has to peer over her specs to check they aren't deceiving her.

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Yes, it's a camera crew.

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But best of all, if we rewind, here comes my personal favourite.

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Look at the wonder in her eyes.

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"Thems is some telly people."

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And so ends one deeply unremarkable woman's brief glimpse of celebrity.

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Here's another spot from Friends.

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Phoebe is returning a dog.

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But look in the background at the neighbour getting out of the car and walking up to her house.

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Twice.

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Fair play to her, though.

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She's got that whole "neighbour repeatedly walking up to her house" thing down to a tee.

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Bad news for 24's Jack Bauer.

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His daughter's been kidnapped

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and the series is suddenly very short-staffed.

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Look at this hospital orderly.

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He's here.

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He's there.

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He's everywhere.

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If you work in this hospital, you have to be in three places at once.

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Just like the NHS.

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Dawson's Creek.

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Gretchen's about to have a heart-to-heart with Dawson.

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But I'm more concerned

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with the partner-swapping swingers in the background.

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Look, first there's an old man and an old woman in a denim jacket.

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And a young man in a blue shirt and chinos with a blonde girl.

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Then, moments later, the young man with the blue shirt wanders past again with another woman!

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He just picked her up! What a floozy. But he's not done yet.

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Now he's back with the blonde girl and they're heading for the water.

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What's going on? He must have finished with that other woman

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and got back with the first one, which is nice - I liked her.

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I'm glad they made up.

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Shut up, Dawson! Look, the old fella's back with the older woman.

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Thank heavens for that.

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Aye-aye. There's the younger man with the blonde again, this time

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walking away from the water from the right, heading up the hill.

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What have they been up to?

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I don't know, but I'm betting it was rude and watery.

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Now, whenever I'm on the telly, which is a lot,

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I take great care over my hair and make-up.

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That's not vanity. It's necessity.

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You see, we need make-up experts to compensate for the "bleaching out" effects

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caused by the powerful lights we use,

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and hair experts to compensate for the "loss of hair" effects

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caused by the powerful hairspray that we use.

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The girls and, what might loosely be described as guys, of the hair and make-up department

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are important, albeit tiny, cogs in the great TV wheel.

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I call them my little miracle workers.

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That's because I enjoy patronising my colleagues.

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Of course, they too make mistakes.

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Mistakes like these.

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Someone's locked David Banner

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in this fiendish Oriental torture contraption, which he won't like.

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It'll send him all green and hulky.

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He's so excited he's passed out.

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Wow, that's what Vin Diesel would look like if you smeared him in mushy peas.

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Oh, he's making that solid carbon steel look like plywood, which it is.

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Hold up, he's got tights on!

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The Hulk's wearing panty hose to stop his pinkies getting all hurty.

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Oh, bless.

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It's Skins. Young people doing cool things,

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like drugs and snogging, and dribbling ketchup down their chins.

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Wow, it's so real.

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Hey, that ketchup dribble just changed.

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-Well, I think you're going to like this, Sid.

-I'm not. He's re dribbled.

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Three dribbles, one chin? Something's got to give.

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And, sure enough, now it's gone completely.

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Now it's back!

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Oh, he's dropped his knife.

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Now they've started snogging and, look, the old dribble's back again.

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Oh, I'm lost. I'm just lost and so is the make-up department.

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Look, I take it back. That's not cool, it's a TV mistake.

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You're looking, aren't you? ALL: No.

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Back to Skins, and look, there's Dev Patel

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before he won the Slumdog lottery

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and he's having a wee up that tree.

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Did you know, it was his weeing-up-a-tree acting

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that won him the role in the film?

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Of course you didn't, because it's not true.

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And neither is this.

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Look, the car with the spliffed-up teens rolls into the canal.

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And everyone inside goes into the water apart from Dev.

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But then, in the next scene, Dev is wet through just like the others.

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Why is he all wet?

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He didn't go in the water, he was weeing up that tree! You know what?

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I bet he just jumped in the canal to be one of the gang. Cor, teenagers!

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They'll do anything to fit in.

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More Skins now, and more wee-wee.

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And the age-old conundrum, how do you do a wee with a stiffy?

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Here's Chris calculating a combination of angles

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that even Ronnie O'Sullivan would struggle with.

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And, oh, he wees up his own nose

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but when he stands up again, it's all gone.

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Now, that is one young man with wonderfully absorbent skin.

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In this next clip, pay attention, if you will,

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to the cute smear of grease on Deborah Messing's cheek.

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That just changed into a completely different smear of grease!

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-OK, this is not a problem.

-I'll be the judge of that!

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Yep, there's another.

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Now it's the same mark, just a bit darker.

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Guess that's why they call it a "to go" cup.

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-You OK?

-And now it's all smudged.

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Hey, you know what they should have called this show, don't you?

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Will & Grease. Yeah.

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-Here's Will from Will & Grace sitting on a sofa.

-Surprise!

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He's gay, so he's naked, obviously.

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Or is he? Are those flesh-coloured pants I see?

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Well, they are flesh-coloured pants, but only if your flesh

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is a sort of deathly greyish white.

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Although Eric McCormack wasn't really naked in this scene,

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-I can confirm that he did genuinely slam his

-BLEEP

-in that book.

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A powerful moment from 24. Sorry, did I say powerful?

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I meant incomprehensible.

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Mum wants troubled teenager to shoot his already dead girlfriend.

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Nobody said relationships were easy, especially when one of you's murdered.

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But he's not used to handling a gun, so why not let Mum do it?

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There you go. Right in the waist.

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Oh, here comes Dad and he's so proud.

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In their strange fictional foreign culture, shooting

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your already dead girlfriend in the belly button is a rite of passage.

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Hang on! The bullet wound's moved up to her ribcage. What a brilliant trick.

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The reason I'm asking is cos we didn't get the bill.

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It's The Sopranos and Tony's turned up for a chat with Uncle Junior,

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who's been shaving.

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Although, as you can see, he's washed all the shaving foam off, apart from that bit near his ear.

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-But, spin forward and... whoa!

-You've got shaving cream all over you.

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Where in the name of Don Corleone did all that come from?

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That's what's known in Mafia circles as omerta, which is Italian for "bad continuity error".

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Oh, it's Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

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So-called because half the viewers want to see her in the buffy.

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Ak-ak-ak-a!

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Here's the slightly lovely Sarah Michelle Gellar facing a hideous ghoul from beyond the grave.

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He's been underground for centuries. He's in a bad way.

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Just look at the state of those fingernails.

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They're so bad, one's practically falling off.

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That's because it's a fake!

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Buffy The Vampire Slayer's make-up department, I trusted you!

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Everybody thinks being a pro is just NBA.

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One Tree Hill and Hayley and Skills

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are having a chat about being from California.

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So when y'all roll through on the world tour,

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we can remember this day, sit back and laugh about it.

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He's a bit annoying. Hayley's very pregnant.

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Or is she? That's no baby! That's just a cushion shoved up her top!

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Some people will do anything to jump the housing queue.

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She's got a tongue like an electric eel

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and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.

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A classic scene from Blackadder II in which Flashheart storms into

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Edmund's wedding, steals the bride and the scene.

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No-one does upstagery quite like Rik Mayall.

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Apart from that fake moustache that's threatening to fall off his face at any moment.

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I've got a plan and it's as hot as my pants.

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Mmm. Mmm. Of course, a lot of people come up to me and say, "Robert, what is a prop?"

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And I say, "I don't know who you are,

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"but if you don't get out of my bath I'll shoot you down like a dog."

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I'm joking, of course. I don't even own a gun. Or a bath.

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As an actor, I don't need to because I live my life surrounded by props.

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This lamp. This chair.

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This table. Basically, props are just the things we all have in our homes,

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except in our case, they really are our property rather than stuff you've got on credit.

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Unfortunately, this doesn't make them any less likely to cause trouble.

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Band Of Brothers and this soldier is looking concerned.

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He's seen the next scene.

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A stealth raid across a river and an elementary mistake from the soldier in the foreground.

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Did you spot it?

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Let's go back and have another look.

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He's rowing with no oar.

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Which, I suppose, will at least make their approach much, much quieter.

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But, and I'm no military expert, much, much slower.

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Hannah Montana, that little singing sensation.

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The sensation being nausea.

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But get a load of this continuity howler as wacky goofball Jackson

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walks into his room.

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He pats the muscle man standee.

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Grabs his towel. And suddenly the muscle man's behind the door.

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It's a good thing I straightened up.

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But not now. Whoops, Hannah's going to be furious about that.

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She'll probably throw a pop sock at the director. A rolled-up one.

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To be fair to the makers of 24,

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they only have one day to make each series.

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And that's with no sleep at all. It's like being a junior doctor,

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but with a lower body count.

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Here's Jack in rare stand-easy mode.

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-We're resuming our approach. Good work.

-Cheers, Jack.

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Time to sheath that dangerous weapon in your bottom holster.

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But fast forward a few seconds, and, crikey,

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Jack's now so relaxed he's putting his gun away again.

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It's either another TV gaffe, or that young man has got two guns hidden in his pants.

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If, like me, you're a fan of scenes where actors mistakenly

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put their pistols away twice,

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then you'll love this clip from the soon-to-be-remade Hawaii Five-O.

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The team are at a tense siege situation

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but nothing gets in the way of Steve McGarrett's tea break.

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So, at ease, Lieutenant. You can put your gun back in your holster.

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No need for firearms at elevenses.

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I wonder if you can use a bucket like that to build sandcastles.

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Anyway, here he comes and there goes the gun again.

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Back in the holster for a second time. Now, who's brought the thermos?

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A tense game of chess in the X-Files

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and a moody Russian is taking on an American kid in specs.

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Textbook.

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-Checkmate.

-Suddenly, the Russian is shot by an assassin

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and falls onto the floor, dragging the chess board with him.

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Except in the next shot, it's clearly on the table.

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They managed the logistical nightmare of filling this auditorium with about 5,000 people,

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but couldn't cope with one bit of elementary prop continuity.

0:19:080:19:12

The truth is out there. The incompetence is in here!

0:19:120:19:15

-Have you ever been to the Louvre?

-No, not yet.

0:19:170:19:20

Bones. A series about forensics.

0:19:200:19:21

A branch of medical science

0:19:210:19:23

that's all about detail. So how come they missed this clanger?

0:19:230:19:28

-Here's a patronising little girl...

-What you do is pretty awesome...

0:19:280:19:31

..who's diagnosed with smugness.

0:19:310:19:33

She's also an agent of TV mistakery.

0:19:330:19:36

When she hands over her sketch, it's a small drawing in the centre of the page.

0:19:360:19:41

But when the doctor looks at it, it's gone all big! But nobody notices.

0:19:410:19:46

The character dies, though, so all's well that ends well.

0:19:460:19:49

An ice hockey game

0:19:510:19:52

and Ross from Friends has got one of those big foam fingers.

0:19:520:19:55

Of course, this is New York and seconds later, it's gone.

0:19:550:19:59

Someone's nicked it. It's a rough town.

0:19:590:20:02

My eye doctor is Richard. I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend.

0:20:040:20:07

Oh, poor Monica. As if it's not bad enough having something in your eye,

0:20:070:20:11

she can't even watch TV because it's all switched off.

0:20:110:20:14

Although, moments later...

0:20:140:20:16

my mistake! It's on. No-one's even watching it.

0:20:160:20:19

That's not very green.

0:20:190:20:21

Can I bum a cigarette?

0:20:230:20:24

Feel those hormones as bad boy meets annoying girl in The OC.

0:20:240:20:29

Blimey, they're smoking in California, which is practically a shooting offence.

0:20:290:20:34

Luckily, Ryan is smoking one of the special cigarettes,

0:20:340:20:37

you know, the ones that burn down to a butt in half a second.

0:20:370:20:40

Long ciggy. Tiny ciggy.

0:20:400:20:43

To think, I used to love The OC!

0:20:430:20:45

Elsewhere in The OC, is Ben going to commit suicide

0:20:480:20:52

before Ryan and Marissa can get to him?

0:20:520:20:54

He's emptying all his pills onto the table.

0:20:560:20:59

And mixing them up. But, whoa!

0:20:590:21:01

In an instant, they've sorted themselves into colour-coded piles.

0:21:010:21:05

Or, at least, an inattentive member of the production team has.

0:21:050:21:09

Ben's made up. He's forgotten all about suicide.

0:21:090:21:12

He's just going to bung them in with his grandfather's ashes.

0:21:120:21:15

Job done.

0:21:150:21:18

Oh, dear. After having one or maybe 12 too many tequilas, Marissa

0:21:210:21:25

from The OC, leaves her handbag at the bar. And staggers outside.

0:21:250:21:30

Ryan and the others are scouring the streets for her.

0:21:300:21:34

But tiddly Marissa is now spark out in this alley, legless, and, of course, bagless.

0:21:340:21:39

Then, Ryan and the others turn up.

0:21:390:21:42

He spots her and bagless races down the alley and kneels beside her with the bag in his hand.

0:21:420:21:48

Either that's a mistake, or everyone in Orange County has the same handbag.

0:21:480:21:52

Well, they're a funny lot in California.

0:21:520:21:55

More continuity malfunctions on the holodeck for Captain Picard.

0:21:590:22:03

The 1920s news vendor hands over the paper folded.

0:22:030:22:07

But Pickard takes it unfolded.

0:22:070:22:10

A small mistake but even in a holographic past, a tiny error like that could have changed the future.

0:22:100:22:15

If so, let's hope next time there'll be less Star Trek.

0:22:150:22:18

A clip from Heroes now.

0:22:200:22:22

A strange group of people all with bizarre superpowers.

0:22:220:22:26

Watch how these two

0:22:260:22:27

find a mysterious key that's wrapped in sticky tape.

0:22:270:22:30

About half a second later, it's suddenly unwrapped.

0:22:300:22:33

He's got super fingers.

0:22:330:22:34

No wonder she looks pleased.

0:22:340:22:36

I'm their hero.

0:22:390:22:40

More prop-related cockuppery

0:22:400:22:42

as Hiro appears with his samurai sword pointing backwards.

0:22:420:22:47

And, a moment later, stands with it pointing forwards.

0:22:470:22:50

A handy mistake, though.

0:22:510:22:52

Otherwise he would have stabbed him with the blunt end,

0:22:520:22:55

and that would almost certainly have been less dramatic.

0:22:550:22:58

It's a blueprint.

0:23:010:23:03

How does Grace from Will & Grace take her coffee?

0:23:030:23:07

Always black. Sometimes with a stick in her hand.

0:23:070:23:09

And sometimes with a tiny carton of milk.

0:23:090:23:12

But always in a urine sample jar.

0:23:140:23:17

And he's obviously very fond of you.

0:23:190:23:20

A clip now from madcap sitcom, Absolutely Fabulous.

0:23:200:23:25

Or as you know it, Ab Fab.

0:23:250:23:27

Or, as I know it, AaFa. But, surely, no-one knows what is going on

0:23:270:23:31

with Miranda Richardson's glass.

0:23:310:23:34

Witchcraft. Pure and simple.

0:23:350:23:38

Back in my day, she'd have got the ducking stool for that.

0:23:380:23:40

It's US comedy drama Weeds.

0:23:420:23:45

And Nancy's just found out that her late husband was cheating on her.

0:23:450:23:49

Yeah, that might not be covered under the contents insurance.

0:23:490:23:53

Not much comedy here. This is one of the more drama-y moments.

0:23:530:23:57

But see all the stuff on the table?

0:23:570:23:58

Watch what happens as her son walks outside.

0:23:580:24:01

Yep, it's all gone empty.

0:24:020:24:04

I reckon the kid was a decoy. His mates have nicked the lot.

0:24:040:24:07

So, actually, that probably will be covered.

0:24:070:24:09

I suppose I just fall in love too fast.

0:24:110:24:14

Here are Niles and Daphne sharing an intimate fireside moment.

0:24:140:24:18

According to that carriage clock, the time is 11:15pm.

0:24:180:24:23

Only, moments later, we see the clock again and now it's 11:45pm.

0:24:230:24:27

And 10:55pm.

0:24:300:24:33

And 11:20pm.

0:24:330:24:35

And 10:59pm. Frasier is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

0:24:350:24:40

At least they were when they started recording this scene four days ago.

0:24:400:24:43

You two have proved yourselves

0:24:450:24:47

to be just as talented as one another at karaoke.

0:24:470:24:50

-By which, I mean you're equally

-BLEEP.

0:24:500:24:53

It's Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps.

0:24:530:24:56

A show which has split the critics into those who hate it, and those who don't like it much.

0:24:560:25:01

This episode is great because it's all about magazine competitions.

0:25:010:25:04

Mind you, if there's one thing I love more than competitions, it's "competions".

0:25:040:25:10

By the way, that's the new issue of Dyslexic Monthly.

0:25:100:25:14

-May as well give up now.

-I would if I were you.

0:25:140:25:16

Now, I admit I don't know a lot about How I Met Your Mother.

0:25:200:25:23

Other than this guy is called Ted and that when he pays a visit

0:25:230:25:27

to a lady, he doesn't bring a bottle, he brings veg.

0:25:270:25:31

Wilted veg in a creased-up paper bag. Sexy blighter.

0:25:310:25:34

But guess who also carries a steam iron in his Y fronts?

0:25:340:25:37

That bag's now suddenly smooth.

0:25:370:25:40

Looks like a baby's bottom. A papery baby with vegetables for a head.

0:25:400:25:44

-That's the stupidest thing I've ever said.

-Me too.

0:25:440:25:46

Of all the classic moments in The Office,

0:25:490:25:51

this is Ricky Gervais' personal favourite.

0:25:510:25:54

-Whassup?

-Don't do that.

-Gareth's holding a briefcase

0:25:540:25:57

in his right hand, the paper in his left, but, look!

0:25:570:25:59

Now the briefcase is in his left hand, and the paper is in his right!

0:25:590:26:03

That's a TV Mistakes Golden Globe right there!

0:26:030:26:06

Friends. Series eight.

0:26:100:26:12

Sorry, SEASON eight. And Monica starts to tear open this present.

0:26:120:26:18

She's finished. It's open.

0:26:180:26:20

Ssh. The guys don't know yet. Do they?

0:26:200:26:22

-No.

-No, she's wrapped it up again.

0:26:220:26:26

And opened it again.

0:26:260:26:29

And wrapped it up.

0:26:290:26:31

And opened it again. Oh, for God's sake, woman, make your mind up!

0:26:310:26:34

Poor Ross has clonked his head,

0:26:360:26:38

so Rachel is administering a comedy ice pack because she wuvs him.

0:26:380:26:42

We ripped that couple apart and kept the pieces for ourselves.

0:26:420:26:46

-Wuvs him not.

-What a beautiful story.

0:26:460:26:50

Wuvs him. A small error, perhaps,

0:26:500:26:52

but as rudimentary errors go, that was a blinder.

0:26:520:26:55

Tony.

0:26:580:26:59

Here's Nicholas Hoult as Tony in Skins,

0:26:590:27:02

who's learning how to write.

0:27:020:27:03

He's written "Tony". He's written his name. Well done, Tony.

0:27:030:27:07

Although if we spin forward...

0:27:070:27:10

that doesn't say "Tony", it says "Tohy".

0:27:100:27:13

Let's see the first one again.

0:27:130:27:15

And the second one.

0:27:150:27:18

Now both together.

0:27:180:27:20

I might be wrong, but I think that's a different piece of paper

0:27:200:27:23

with the word "Tony" written by a different person.

0:27:230:27:26

The props department are trying to make you look stupid, Tony. I mean, Tohy.

0:27:260:27:30

Well, there it is, TV's Greatest Mistakes.

0:27:320:27:35

I'd just like to say thanks to all the people involved tonight

0:27:350:27:39

for being so very sloppy in your chosen careers.

0:27:390:27:41

It's a good job it's just telly and nothing of any importance,

0:27:410:27:45

because if this had been a paper round or a Saturday job in a burger bar, you'd have been fired. Bye-bye.

0:27:450:27:50

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0:28:100:28:13

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