Episode 4 Great TV Mistakes

Hello, I'm Robert Webb.

Welcome to Great TV Mistakes.

Over the next half hour, we'll be revealing the worst howlers ever broadcast.

Mistakes my crack team of square-eyed OCD numpties

refuse to rest until they have managed to show you the foul-ups

they didn't want you to see.

They meaning them, not you.

Coming up - mistakes from...

..and many, many more!

TV shows are a huge investment of time, money and effort,

but you can spend months and months getting something right,

hiring the very best actors, camera persons, writers and crew,

only to have the whole thing ruined by some extra in the background being a tit.

These people are a menace, wandering in and out of the back of every shot,

trying to be ordinary members of the public, who are the only things worse than extras.

Nothing causes more trouble on set than members of the public.

I hate them all. Apart from you, obviously.

Some muscle-Mary slow-mo running now from legendary

beachfront twaddle merchants Baywatch.

See their toned torsos as they pound along the sand,

see their hair blown by the gentle Pacific breeze,

see the kid in the background pulling a moonie.

That's worth a second look.

Everyone's a critic.

You don't have to. I'm sure you were freaked out.

Totally.

See this woman with the tartan top?

Now remember her, cos this lady is about to take the art

of the attention-seeking TV extra to a whole new dimension.

This is Buffy's high school, and she is presumably the most mature student.

I...think you're the coolest.

There she is, drawing attention to herself with that big red bag.

Now, spin on. And there she is again, walking in the opposite direction.

No, she's not. She's over there, walking up some stairs,

drawing attention to herself like those extras aren't supposed to.

Back for more stair climbing, this time without the bag. Clever.

Still going up the stairs.

Mind you, at least we know where she is. No, we don't.

Buffy, now she's behind you.

"Right, I've had enough of this," said the director. "Get that woman out of my sight.

"Nobody lets her back on this set."

Whoa, how did that happen?

Crafty cow, she's taken off her horrible tartan jacket and given the red bag to someone else.

Damn you, nightmare tartan extra lady!

Still, the jacket's gone, the bag's gone, and, finally, so is she.

Or not.

Ever get the feeling you're being followed?

In this episode of Buffy,

the lovely Eliza Dushku certainly does, and with good reason.

The winners of the 2002 Most American Couple award

walk behind her once, which is fine. Nothing wrong there.

But twice is pushing it.

That's borderline harassment.

Three times is frankly unacceptable.

That's a restraining order right there.

They won't be trying that again... from the same direction.

For Pete's sake, leave lovely Eliza alone!

They'll be hiding in that bush outside her house next, and that's mine.

Sex And The City, a show about four single young women.

Well, three young women and the one who plays Samantha.

But let's rewind and look at those two extras on the left of picture sitting side by side.

Now, spin on and clearly one of them has dropped a massive guff

because next time we see them,

they're sitting miles away from each other in separate rows.

Poor Sam. Must have been a pretty serious guff. Someone open a window!

OK, listen everyone, we've got to get out of here.

Back to the doctor, and here, Mickey is attempting to save

a room full of headphone-wearing children.

But they're all zombiefied.

Mickey must have a background in IT cos he resorts to the tried and tested solution

of just yanking out the plug and hoping for the best.

Magically, it works, and removes the kids' headphones.

And off they go, trudging out of a doomed building, smirking.

Good work, kids, you're hired.

This is where I was born.

And this is where I died.

More Doctor Who, and Billie's on the bus in contemplative mood.

The first 19 years of my life, nothing happened.

But keep your eyes on the extra who sits in the row behind her.

Not ever.

Oh, Billie, come on. Incredible things are happening all around you.

That bloke jumped through time and space

simply to get a better seat. Pay attention, girl.

The X-Files, and Scully has a mysterious dead body to investigate.

In this case,

the mystery is why they chose

the most fidgety man in North America to play the corpse.

See how the faintest prod from Scully makes the big wuss blink.

Not so much dead man's body, more big girl's blouse.

But just in case anyone missed that, moments later,

he leaves everyone at home in no doubt that this is just acting

as Scully unwisely decides to balance

this heavy plastic ruler on his tummy-wummy. "Ow, it's cold!"

We've got a breather!

I love Lost. It's top-notch allegorical surrealist drama

with a satirical subtext.

Plus, it's got that funny fat bloke with a beard.

Yeah, he's got boobs like a lady.

In fact, the only problem with this show is that it makes no sense.

That, and the decision to use an extra with chronic asthma

to play a corpse and then put him in the front of shot.

Just look at this.

Mind you, that fat bloke's funny. Oh, dear...

I mean, dogs can find pot and bombs so...

Time for more weird goings on in Lost, and look out for the lovely

couple walking past in the background.

Probably off to catch some fish.

Wish they'd walk past again. Oh, lovely.

That's the trouble with being marooned on a desert island, nothing to do but walk round in circles.

This clip from Sex And The City proves that not all New Yorkers

are used to seeing TV crews.

This lady simply can't believe her eyes

and has to peer over her specs to check they aren't deceiving her.

Yes, it's a camera crew.

But best of all, if we rewind, here comes my personal favourite.

Look at the wonder in her eyes.

"Thems is some telly people."

And so ends one deeply unremarkable woman's brief glimpse of celebrity.

Here's another spot from Friends.

Phoebe is returning a dog.

But look in the background at the neighbour getting out of the car and walking up to her house.

Twice.

Fair play to her, though.

She's got that whole "neighbour repeatedly walking up to her house" thing down to a tee.

Bad news for 24's Jack Bauer.

His daughter's been kidnapped

and the series is suddenly very short-staffed.

Look at this hospital orderly.

He's here.

He's there.

He's everywhere.

If you work in this hospital, you have to be in three places at once.

Just like the NHS.

Dawson's Creek.

Gretchen's about to have a heart-to-heart with Dawson.

But I'm more concerned

with the partner-swapping swingers in the background.

Look, first there's an old man and an old woman in a denim jacket.

And a young man in a blue shirt and chinos with a blonde girl.

Then, moments later, the young man with the blue shirt wanders past again with another woman!

He just picked her up! What a floozy. But he's not done yet.

Now he's back with the blonde girl and they're heading for the water.

What's going on? He must have finished with that other woman

and got back with the first one, which is nice - I liked her.

I'm glad they made up.

Shut up, Dawson! Look, the old fella's back with the older woman.

Thank heavens for that.

Aye-aye. There's the younger man with the blonde again, this time

walking away from the water from the right, heading up the hill.

What have they been up to?

I don't know, but I'm betting it was rude and watery.

Now, whenever I'm on the telly, which is a lot,

I take great care over my hair and make-up.

That's not vanity. It's necessity.

You see, we need make-up experts to compensate for the "bleaching out" effects

caused by the powerful lights we use,

and hair experts to compensate for the "loss of hair" effects

caused by the powerful hairspray that we use.

The girls and, what might loosely be described as guys, of the hair and make-up department

are important, albeit tiny, cogs in the great TV wheel.

I call them my little miracle workers.

That's because I enjoy patronising my colleagues.

Of course, they too make mistakes.

Mistakes like these.

Someone's locked David Banner

in this fiendish Oriental torture contraption, which he won't like.

It'll send him all green and hulky.

He's so excited he's passed out.

Wow, that's what Vin Diesel would look like if you smeared him in mushy peas.

Oh, he's making that solid carbon steel look like plywood, which it is.

Hold up, he's got tights on!

The Hulk's wearing panty hose to stop his pinkies getting all hurty.

Oh, bless.

It's Skins. Young people doing cool things,

like drugs and snogging, and dribbling ketchup down their chins.

Wow, it's so real.

Hey, that ketchup dribble just changed.

-Well, I think you're going to like this, Sid.

-I'm not. He's re dribbled.

Three dribbles, one chin? Something's got to give.

And, sure enough, now it's gone completely.

Now it's back!

Oh, he's dropped his knife.

Now they've started snogging and, look, the old dribble's back again.

Oh, I'm lost. I'm just lost and so is the make-up department.

Look, I take it back. That's not cool, it's a TV mistake.

You're looking, aren't you? ALL: No.

Back to Skins, and look, there's Dev Patel

before he won the Slumdog lottery

and he's having a wee up that tree.

Did you know, it was his weeing-up-a-tree acting

that won him the role in the film?

Of course you didn't, because it's not true.

And neither is this.

Look, the car with the spliffed-up teens rolls into the canal.

And everyone inside goes into the water apart from Dev.

But then, in the next scene, Dev is wet through just like the others.

Why is he all wet?

He didn't go in the water, he was weeing up that tree! You know what?

I bet he just jumped in the canal to be one of the gang. Cor, teenagers!

They'll do anything to fit in.

More Skins now, and more wee-wee.

And the age-old conundrum, how do you do a wee with a stiffy?

Here's Chris calculating a combination of angles

that even Ronnie O'Sullivan would struggle with.

And, oh, he wees up his own nose

but when he stands up again, it's all gone.

Now, that is one young man with wonderfully absorbent skin.

In this next clip, pay attention, if you will,

to the cute smear of grease on Deborah Messing's cheek.

That just changed into a completely different smear of grease!

-OK, this is not a problem.

-I'll be the judge of that!

Yep, there's another.

Now it's the same mark, just a bit darker.

Guess that's why they call it a "to go" cup.

-You OK?

-And now it's all smudged.

Hey, you know what they should have called this show, don't you?

Will & Grease. Yeah.

-Here's Will from Will & Grace sitting on a sofa.

-Surprise!

He's gay, so he's naked, obviously.

Or is he? Are those flesh-coloured pants I see?

Well, they are flesh-coloured pants, but only if your flesh

is a sort of deathly greyish white.

Although Eric McCormack wasn't really naked in this scene,

-I can confirm that he did genuinely slam his

-BLEEP

-in that book.

A powerful moment from 24. Sorry, did I say powerful?

I meant incomprehensible.

Mum wants troubled teenager to shoot his already dead girlfriend.

Nobody said relationships were easy, especially when one of you's murdered.

But he's not used to handling a gun, so why not let Mum do it?

There you go. Right in the waist.

Oh, here comes Dad and he's so proud.

In their strange fictional foreign culture, shooting

your already dead girlfriend in the belly button is a rite of passage.

Hang on! The bullet wound's moved up to her ribcage. What a brilliant trick.

The reason I'm asking is cos we didn't get the bill.

It's The Sopranos and Tony's turned up for a chat with Uncle Junior,

who's been shaving.

Although, as you can see, he's washed all the shaving foam off, apart from that bit near his ear.

-But, spin forward and... whoa!

-You've got shaving cream all over you.

Where in the name of Don Corleone did all that come from?

That's what's known in Mafia circles as omerta, which is Italian for "bad continuity error".

Oh, it's Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

So-called because half the viewers want to see her in the buffy.

Ak-ak-ak-a!

Here's the slightly lovely Sarah Michelle Gellar facing a hideous ghoul from beyond the grave.

He's been underground for centuries. He's in a bad way.

Just look at the state of those fingernails.

They're so bad, one's practically falling off.

That's because it's a fake!

Buffy The Vampire Slayer's make-up department, I trusted you!

Everybody thinks being a pro is just NBA.

One Tree Hill and Hayley and Skills

are having a chat about being from California.

So when y'all roll through on the world tour,

we can remember this day, sit back and laugh about it.

He's a bit annoying. Hayley's very pregnant.

Or is she? That's no baby! That's just a cushion shoved up her top!

Some people will do anything to jump the housing queue.

She's got a tongue like an electric eel

and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.

A classic scene from Blackadder II in which Flashheart storms into

Edmund's wedding, steals the bride and the scene.

No-one does upstagery quite like Rik Mayall.

Apart from that fake moustache that's threatening to fall off his face at any moment.

I've got a plan and it's as hot as my pants.

Mmm. Mmm. Of course, a lot of people come up to me and say, "Robert, what is a prop?"

And I say, "I don't know who you are,

"but if you don't get out of my bath I'll shoot you down like a dog."

I'm joking, of course. I don't even own a gun. Or a bath.

As an actor, I don't need to because I live my life surrounded by props.

This lamp. This chair.

This table. Basically, props are just the things we all have in our homes,

except in our case, they really are our property rather than stuff you've got on credit.

Unfortunately, this doesn't make them any less likely to cause trouble.

Band Of Brothers and this soldier is looking concerned.

He's seen the next scene.

A stealth raid across a river and an elementary mistake from the soldier in the foreground.

Did you spot it?

Let's go back and have another look.

He's rowing with no oar.

Which, I suppose, will at least make their approach much, much quieter.

But, and I'm no military expert, much, much slower.

Hannah Montana, that little singing sensation.

The sensation being nausea.

But get a load of this continuity howler as wacky goofball Jackson

walks into his room.

He pats the muscle man standee.

Grabs his towel. And suddenly the muscle man's behind the door.

It's a good thing I straightened up.

But not now. Whoops, Hannah's going to be furious about that.

She'll probably throw a pop sock at the director. A rolled-up one.

To be fair to the makers of 24,

they only have one day to make each series.

And that's with no sleep at all. It's like being a junior doctor,

but with a lower body count.

Here's Jack in rare stand-easy mode.

-We're resuming our approach. Good work.

-Cheers, Jack.

Time to sheath that dangerous weapon in your bottom holster.

But fast forward a few seconds, and, crikey,

Jack's now so relaxed he's putting his gun away again.

It's either another TV gaffe, or that young man has got two guns hidden in his pants.

If, like me, you're a fan of scenes where actors mistakenly

put their pistols away twice,

then you'll love this clip from the soon-to-be-remade Hawaii Five-O.

The team are at a tense siege situation

but nothing gets in the way of Steve McGarrett's tea break.

So, at ease, Lieutenant. You can put your gun back in your holster.

No need for firearms at elevenses.

I wonder if you can use a bucket like that to build sandcastles.

Anyway, here he comes and there goes the gun again.

Back in the holster for a second time. Now, who's brought the thermos?

A tense game of chess in the X-Files

and a moody Russian is taking on an American kid in specs.

Textbook.

-Checkmate.

-Suddenly, the Russian is shot by an assassin

and falls onto the floor, dragging the chess board with him.

Except in the next shot, it's clearly on the table.

They managed the logistical nightmare of filling this auditorium with about 5,000 people,

but couldn't cope with one bit of elementary prop continuity.

The truth is out there. The incompetence is in here!

-Have you ever been to the Louvre?

-No, not yet.

Bones. A series about forensics.

A branch of medical science

that's all about detail. So how come they missed this clanger?

-Here's a patronising little girl...

-What you do is pretty awesome...

..who's diagnosed with smugness.

She's also an agent of TV mistakery.

When she hands over her sketch, it's a small drawing in the centre of the page.

But when the doctor looks at it, it's gone all big! But nobody notices.

The character dies, though, so all's well that ends well.

An ice hockey game

and Ross from Friends has got one of those big foam fingers.

Of course, this is New York and seconds later, it's gone.

Someone's nicked it. It's a rough town.

My eye doctor is Richard. I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend.

Oh, poor Monica. As if it's not bad enough having something in your eye,

she can't even watch TV because it's all switched off.

Although, moments later...

my mistake! It's on. No-one's even watching it.

That's not very green.

Can I bum a cigarette?

Feel those hormones as bad boy meets annoying girl in The OC.

Blimey, they're smoking in California, which is practically a shooting offence.

Luckily, Ryan is smoking one of the special cigarettes,

you know, the ones that burn down to a butt in half a second.

Long ciggy. Tiny ciggy.

To think, I used to love The OC!

Elsewhere in The OC, is Ben going to commit suicide

before Ryan and Marissa can get to him?

He's emptying all his pills onto the table.

And mixing them up. But, whoa!

In an instant, they've sorted themselves into colour-coded piles.

Or, at least, an inattentive member of the production team has.

Ben's made up. He's forgotten all about suicide.

He's just going to bung them in with his grandfather's ashes.

Job done.

Oh, dear. After having one or maybe 12 too many tequilas, Marissa

from The OC, leaves her handbag at the bar. And staggers outside.

Ryan and the others are scouring the streets for her.

But tiddly Marissa is now spark out in this alley, legless, and, of course, bagless.

Then, Ryan and the others turn up.

He spots her and bagless races down the alley and kneels beside her with the bag in his hand.

Either that's a mistake, or everyone in Orange County has the same handbag.

Well, they're a funny lot in California.

More continuity malfunctions on the holodeck for Captain Picard.

The 1920s news vendor hands over the paper folded.

But Pickard takes it unfolded.

A small mistake but even in a holographic past, a tiny error like that could have changed the future.

If so, let's hope next time there'll be less Star Trek.

A clip from Heroes now.

A strange group of people all with bizarre superpowers.

Watch how these two

find a mysterious key that's wrapped in sticky tape.

About half a second later, it's suddenly unwrapped.

He's got super fingers.

No wonder she looks pleased.

I'm their hero.

More prop-related cockuppery

as Hiro appears with his samurai sword pointing backwards.

And, a moment later, stands with it pointing forwards.

A handy mistake, though.

Otherwise he would have stabbed him with the blunt end,

and that would almost certainly have been less dramatic.

It's a blueprint.

How does Grace from Will & Grace take her coffee?

Always black. Sometimes with a stick in her hand.

And sometimes with a tiny carton of milk.

But always in a urine sample jar.

And he's obviously very fond of you.

A clip now from madcap sitcom, Absolutely Fabulous.

Or as you know it, Ab Fab.

Or, as I know it, AaFa. But, surely, no-one knows what is going on

with Miranda Richardson's glass.

Witchcraft. Pure and simple.

Back in my day, she'd have got the ducking stool for that.

It's US comedy drama Weeds.

And Nancy's just found out that her late husband was cheating on her.

Yeah, that might not be covered under the contents insurance.

Not much comedy here. This is one of the more drama-y moments.

But see all the stuff on the table?

Watch what happens as her son walks outside.

Yep, it's all gone empty.

I reckon the kid was a decoy. His mates have nicked the lot.

So, actually, that probably will be covered.

I suppose I just fall in love too fast.

Here are Niles and Daphne sharing an intimate fireside moment.

According to that carriage clock, the time is 11:15pm.

Only, moments later, we see the clock again and now it's 11:45pm.

And 10:55pm.

And 11:20pm.

And 10:59pm. Frasier is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

At least they were when they started recording this scene four days ago.

You two have proved yourselves

to be just as talented as one another at karaoke.

-By which, I mean you're equally

-BLEEP.

It's Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps.

A show which has split the critics into those who hate it, and those who don't like it much.

This episode is great because it's all about magazine competitions.

Mind you, if there's one thing I love more than competitions, it's "competions".

By the way, that's the new issue of Dyslexic Monthly.

-May as well give up now.

-I would if I were you.

Now, I admit I don't know a lot about How I Met Your Mother.

Other than this guy is called Ted and that when he pays a visit

to a lady, he doesn't bring a bottle, he brings veg.

Wilted veg in a creased-up paper bag. Sexy blighter.

But guess who also carries a steam iron in his Y fronts?

That bag's now suddenly smooth.

Looks like a baby's bottom. A papery baby with vegetables for a head.

-That's the stupidest thing I've ever said.

-Me too.

Of all the classic moments in The Office,

this is Ricky Gervais' personal favourite.

-Whassup?

-Don't do that.

-Gareth's holding a briefcase

in his right hand, the paper in his left, but, look!

Now the briefcase is in his left hand, and the paper is in his right!

That's a TV Mistakes Golden Globe right there!

Friends. Series eight.

Sorry, SEASON eight. And Monica starts to tear open this present.

She's finished. It's open.

Ssh. The guys don't know yet. Do they?

-No.

-No, she's wrapped it up again.

And opened it again.

And wrapped it up.

And opened it again. Oh, for God's sake, woman, make your mind up!

Poor Ross has clonked his head,

so Rachel is administering a comedy ice pack because she wuvs him.

We ripped that couple apart and kept the pieces for ourselves.

-Wuvs him not.

-What a beautiful story.

Wuvs him. A small error, perhaps,

but as rudimentary errors go, that was a blinder.

Tony.

Here's Nicholas Hoult as Tony in Skins,

who's learning how to write.

He's written "Tony". He's written his name. Well done, Tony.

Although if we spin forward...

that doesn't say "Tony", it says "Tohy".

Let's see the first one again.

And the second one.

Now both together.

I might be wrong, but I think that's a different piece of paper

with the word "Tony" written by a different person.

The props department are trying to make you look stupid, Tony. I mean, Tohy.

Well, there it is, TV's Greatest Mistakes.

I'd just like to say thanks to all the people involved tonight

for being so very sloppy in your chosen careers.

It's a good job it's just telly and nothing of any importance,

because if this had been a paper round or a Saturday job in a burger bar, you'd have been fired. Bye-bye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd