Episode 5 Great TV Mistakes

Hello, I'm Robert Webb.

Welcome to Great TV Mistakes.

Over the next half hour, we'll be revealing the worst howlers ever broadcast.

Mistakes my crack team of square-eyed, OCD numpties

refuse to rest until they have managed to show you the foul-ups they didn't want you to see.

They meaning them, not you.

Coming up, mistakes from...

In TV, we have a special nickname for special effects.

We call them special FX.

Aren't we brilliant? These days, the effects on TV are so special,

they can often leave you, the viewer, wide eyed, slack jawed and dumbstruck, even more than usual.

Yes, thanks to computer technology, the only limit to modern SFX

is the producer's imagination, which is a shame, because

most producers' imaginations are limited to saying, "Hey, why don't we just get Ant and Dec to do it."

And then ordering the sushi. Which sadly means every now and again, the SPECIAL effects are anything but.

A high-speed chase in Knight Rider and Michael is in pursuit of two blokes who have kidnapped a lady.

Oh, she's a terrible back-seat driver.

That car is all over the shop. Three drivers, one steering wheel, that's asking for trouble.

Oh, no, no, no, no, leave it.

Sit down, you silly cow! Oh, too late, she's jumped.

Well, somebody did.

-Crazy broad jumped out!

-I'm afraid that was your unconscious female.

No, it wasn't, KITT, you're talking out of your tailpipe.

That's a stunt double in an ill-fitting blonde wig.

She's less lookalike and more look nothing like.

It's 24 and look out, the guy in the car is about to get all shooty.

But when he discharges his weapon....

Through the car window, the glass all falls inwards, in defiance of all the laws of physics.

Let's see that again. Take that, Newton.

Look, he's got Stagler.

Here we are, back in that brilliant episode

of Wonder Woman, and Gargantua the Gorilla is making his escape carrying that bloke from Magnum.

But he's made a terrible error.

In the confusion, he's grabbed a poorly constructed dummy instead.

See it flailing in the breeze just like human bodies don't.

Look, his legs have gone all trembly, something, something, Wembley.

That doesn't make any sense, and neither does this episode of Wonder Woman.

Yes, it's high time Lynda Carter twirled into her crime fighting boob tube and hot pants.

Bad news for bad guys, good news for randy 14-year-old boys.

But look how this spectacular metamorphosis also has the power to

change this humble biro into thin air.

Yeah, it's probably just rolled under the desk.

The Doctor again, and this is what I call thrilling stuff.

There again, I'm quite easily thrilled.

Oh, look, the Doctor is climbing up that giant television aerial,

trying to stop Maureen Lipman being transmitted.

You cannot stop the wire. Soon I shall become...

Then, as Dave's a-dangling from the pylon, his foot suddenly disappears.

Here it is, here it isn't.

Yes, the BBC's blue screen is no larger than a tea towel.

Mac and Guy from Green Wing are heading for a very literal end-of-series cliffhanger.

Ever wonder how they do stunts like this? Well, the clues are here

and here. That is a safety harness and that is a dirty great support cable.

Less Italian Job, more bodged job.

OK, no argument, the Hulk has always been incredible.

But on the '70s TV show, the effects were anything but.

Here, a couple of local thugs have unwisely locked David Banner in the steam room.

He gets angry, goes green, and picks them and half the wall up using the strength of 100 men.

Or should that be by making them stand on a hidden trolley

and pushing them back using the strength of three caterpillars?

You decide.

The friends from Friends are on holiday and, oh, dear, it's chucking it down.

But what's worser, their lovely beach house is full of wet sand.

What's with all this sand?

Oh, yeah, Bob said there might be flood damage.

Either that or he has a really big cat.

But now it's dry.

They must have under-sand heating.

A clip from classic Dr Who episode Genesis Of The Daleks,

and keep your eyes on the Dalek chatting with Davros

and the light bulb flashing on his head.

That's how deaf people know that a Dalek is talking, by the way, it's a courtesy thing.

Hold on a sec, his light's gone out.

Maybe he forgot to pay the Da-lecky bill.

But then, between takes, while Davros practises his shouting...

You will obey me!

..there's a chance to unscrew the bulb and pop a new one in.

We are the superior beings.

On with the serious business of mass extermination and sink plunging.

Exterminate!

More from Genesis Of The Daleks now,

and the Thals are about to detonate a bomb using this rickety old plunger.

But even before that happens, some smoke wafts through the doors.

That bomb has either detonated itself, or one of those Daleks is having a crafty fag.

This is X-Files rain, heavy and persistent, like Mulder,

apart for the heavy bit.

Dana and Fox are in hot pursuit of a woman doing some top-notch driving-in-heavy-rain acting.

Moving the steering wheel about, frowning at rain...

and then she hits a cloudy ghost. Bosh!

But when Mulder and Scully pull over seconds later, all the rain has gone. Spooky.

# Da-da-da-doo, da-da-da-doo... # Sorry, that's The Twilight Zone, sorry.

-I can see her.

-Michelle!

-Help!

Considering it was made in the '60s, the effects on Thunderbirds are pretty FAB.

Of course, every now and again, they were less than perfect.

Look what happens when the aircraft explodes.

This bit of debris flies off and bounces off the back projection screen. Boing.

For some reason, at that moment in that half-finished foxhole, all I could think about was the 4th July.

Band Of Brothers now, and those German mortars are really doing some damage.

Thank God they're only aiming at the trees. Yeah, Nazis hate trees.

Especially these ones. They're birch trees, they make Nazis furious.

Boom! Take that. Hold on a minute, it did.

A bomb that only causes minimal bark damage. Let's have another look.

Yeah, that must have been a smart bomb.

They only destroy certain trees. If that had been a willow, it would be dead.

A thrilling FX scene from Blake's 7, the doddery senile granddad of the TV sci-fi family.

Once again, the audience at home are on the edge of their seats, getting up to leave the room.

But gasp as the bad guy is sucked into space.

Although, he's not so much being sucked as dangled by that highly visible safety harness.

Wheeee!

Clothes.

Clothes can go seriously wrong.

Just look at Lady Gaga or anyone from Germany.

If there's one department in telly that gets overlooked, it's wardrobe.

It's very rare to see wardrobes taking a leading role,

except in The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, of course.

Though frankly, the lion and the witch got all the best lines.

Consequently, every now and again, the wardrobe department fights back.

It's Henry VIII in a scene from rollicking royal soap The Tudors.

Here's Henry's (divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived),

first wife Catherine of Aragon, looking moody, and who can blame her?

Getting a rousing reception from this crowd of 16th century peasants.

Although, for a bunch of proles, they're doing pretty well for themselves, because, look again.

Verily, sire, that's a nice wrist watch.

He made that himself out of straw and bits of the plague.

Lovely Buffy. Not only is she sexy, fun, and good at killing vampires, she can swap shoes in a microsecond.

See, as she attacks the vampire wearing white party pumps...

Then, alley-oop, suddenly swaps them for a pair of

black boots when required to kick him in his undead nuts.

That is my kind of woman.

Where are your jibes now?

We want to swim and you can't stop us!

It's Desperate Housewives, and another wardrobe-related oversight is about to kick off

thanks to these cheeky kids who are refusing to get out of the water.

In you go, Mum, sort them out.

She walks into the pool in heels,

wades through the water in heels,

walks out again in heels, but then, having done the hard part, she's suddenly barefoot.

It's confusing. No wonder her kids are a nightmare.

-No parental consistency.

-Paul, we have to leave now.

24, and watch this woman exiting the loo, or rather, her shoes.

A pair of good old-fashioned all-American sneakers.

Nothing wrong there. In fact, everything right.

But spin on,

and during a simple walk to her desk, they've been changed,

switched, perverted, into high heels.

Free-world flatties wiped off the face of the earth, replaced by high-heeled extremism.

And where's Jack Bauer?

Running a minicab firm.

"51 to base, passenger POB, Rog."

James Corden is a bit of a quick-change artist on the side. Oh, yeah, look.

One minute he's wearing his dinner jacket, and the next, he's lost it.

The jacket, not his temper. Although it's a wedding, there's always one fight.

Here's classic '70s drama Hawaii Five-0, as in five acting expressions, oh dear.

Steve McGarrett is on the case and there's no time to lose.

Except to change his suit on the way up the stairs.

-Mr Dennison, please.

-Never mind all that, what have you done with your grey suit?

Look, he gets out of the car in the grey one, and walks into the office wearing the blue.

Mr Dennison, please.

Actually, good work, Steve. No-one wants to be arrested by a man in a sweaty suit.

Under normal circumstances, the last person I'd want to see frolicking in a wet T-shirt is Hurley from Lost.

Unless, of course, he was dancing around a pole, and even then only maybe.

Here he is teaching Charlie to fish and how to be both sopping wet...

..and dry at the same time.

Maybe he's just really hot.

Hot warm, not hot sexy. Unless he was dancing around a pole. Phwoar!

The poacher, I heard him fishing only a few nights ago.

What, with all his sartorial eccentricities,

Doctor Who has always been a strain on the wardrobe department, in whichever incarnation.

In this clip, Tom Baker's jaunty hat is the problem.

He leaves it on the chair and exits, and then in the next scene,

he's walking through the woods wearing it.

Maybe they'd shot a scene where he remembered, thought "huh" and went back for it, but then didn't use it.

Yeah, better check the director's cut.

Little Britain, famous for its comedy characters.

Here's Matt Lucas as Bubbles DeVere.

Bubbles dives under the tanning machine, naked,

but if we spin forward,

she emerges some time later burnt to a crisp and now mysteriously wearing a pair of blue goggles.

Will you excuse me for a moment, please, Mr Hutton, I'm a little bit on fire.

How....

you...a doing?

I love Friends. I could watch it all day.

And thanks to E4, I can.

Here's Joey chatting up a girl in the apartment opposite.

He can't wait to get over there and introduce himself.

And yet, he still has time to miraculously change his black shirt on the way over.

Sweaty black shirt morphs into clean purple one.

But as he knocks on the door,

it's back to black.

Black, purple and black. The three colours of the bad continuity flag.

Another moment of drama in Grey's Anatomy.

Sandra Oh rips off her surgical topcoat and exits the operating theatre.

Meanwhile, out in the corridor, there's a bomb scare.

These doctors can't go faster than .000003 miles an hour

or they'll blow up or something.

Then, just as you thought this scene couldn't get any more confusing, out pops Sandra with her coat on again.

It's a bit like the film Speed but with less speed and more mistakes.

We're moving to an OR further away from the oxygen line.

Hey, David Banner is rescuing a bit-part actress from a cliff.

Spin on, and sure enough, he turns into The Incredible Hulk.

And as usual, his massive green muscles completely tear the shirt from his back.

But seconds later, the shirt reappears,

then disappears, then finally reappears again,

having mounted its curious green host once more.

All right, come on, come on!

Well, there was a lady present.

But sadly, no continuity person.

All great telly starts with a script.

You need writers who can really write words good comma,

and make the things we actors and presenters say in their mouths have, like, pizzazz and that.

Yes, script and story are crucial.

Confused story lines and dialogue, and character errors can spoil an entire series in seconds.

That's why broadcasters spend enormous amounts of money hiring professional writers and executives

to ensure this doesn't happen and why they get so disappointed when it still does.

Take a look at this little lot.

24, and here's Jack Bauer giving his exact location to headquarters.

We're at 21408 Kipling, North Hollywood.

That's 21408 Kipling, North Hollywood. 21408. Now, spin on,

and the car is here. But spin on again, and we can see they've pulled up outside 21048.

Well, that's no good. Kiefer's at 21408.

But hang on, he is here, at 21048,

-and not...

-21408 Kipling, North Hollywood.

Where he said he was a moment ago.

Still, it's only the Secret Service in a race against time to save lives,

nothing important, like a pizza delivery.

Here's Ashes To Ashes,

the disappointing follow-up to Life On Mars.

It's July 1981.

And a shocked Keeley Hawes

has just found herself mysteriously back in the 1980s.

She's trying to find out the date from Gene Hunt's steam-driven computer.

Let's check it. 17th July 1981.

There's nothing on this hard drive but the time and date.

Spin on, and later, in her new '80s flat, we see that she's marked her arrival date as July 20th.

She's lost three days.

There are easier ways to lose three days, Keeley.

Try drinking five pints of gin.

Works for me.

Here's an IT blunder from serial-killing drama, Dexter.

As Rudy Cooper opens an e-mail from [email protected]...

..presses reply,

and suddenly he's writing back to [email protected].

Don't worry, though, thanks to the confusing power of telly,

Frozen Barbie still gets the e-mail anyway.

All's well that ends well. Except for the fact that he kills her and cuts her into tiny pieces.

Here's an early clip from Star Trek: The Next Generation

and new Number One, Will Riker, is looking for the holodeck.

The computer tells him it's...

'The next hatchway on your right.'

-You mean left, surely?

-Thank you.

-He's bluffing. Riker knows that the new Enterprise computer is an idiot.

-I do.

And goes left instead.

In the future, many things will be different, but apparently, men still don't trust directions from a woman.

US drama Fringe, and this bonkers boffin has invented a camera

that can photograph a corpse

and capture the last image seen by a person before their death.

-Ready?

-I know, it's rubbish, but go with it.

Let's listen to the doc's advice.

Goggles, all of you. Do not look directly into the light.

-MIMICS:

-"Goggles, all of you. Do not look directly into the light."

Got it. Camera, dangerous. Goggles, essential.

But spin on through the rubbish, and see what happens.

They've taken them off. Oi! And you! Put them back on.

The doctor said keep the goggles on while the camera is still flashing.

Doc, tell them to... Not you, as well. I give up. This programme is stupid.

The OC crowd are in a nightclub

when one of our old friends

leaves an urgent message for his mate. Let's listen in.

Luke, it's me. I wanted to make sure you took care of it.

OK. Ryan said, "Luke, it's me.

"I want to make sure you took care of it." And there was lots of noise in the background.

Does Luke get the message? Yes. But not that one.

-WITHOUT BACKGROUND NOISE:

-Luke, it's me. I'm just calling to make sure you took care of it.

"Luke, it's me. I'm just CALLING to make sure you took care of it."

Different words and no background noise. Probably a network problem.

There's a joke here somewhere about Orange County, but where are the good times?

Writing a long-running show like Frasier is tricky,

having to remember the characters' likes and dislikes

and relatives. They're a nightmare, even when they're not real.

Just listen to Frasier's dad Martin in series one.

I never had a brother.

Marty Crane never had a brother.

-Oh, I've got the feeling he would have liked one, though, and by series five, he did.

-There he is!

Well! This is so exciting! You two must have so much to talk about. Uncle Walt, hello!

That's either a mistake or someone needs a psychiatrist.

-Marty.

-Walt.

The great thing about animals is the fact that they will literally work for peanuts.

Over the years, animals have given us some classic TV moments.

Who can forget the infamous Blue Peter elephant, who for

years carried the blame for Peter Purves's violent bout of diarrhoea?

The following clips might be less well-known, but they are sure

to delight fans of TV mistakes and mild animal cruelty alike.

A humorous little set piece

from Grey's Anatomy now, following doctors Burke and Yang's

street chat, George's bagel gets pooed on by a bird

and, devastated,

he throws it to the pavement,

where it's immediately pounced upon by a grateful pigeon, just like in the script.

How do they do that? Was it a stunt pigeon?

No, it was a plain old ordinary pigeon, tied to a length of wire.

Time to give the man responsible the push.

Too late, he jumped.

This horrible 19th-century singing is upsetting me and the dog.

HOWLING

Hark at him howling!

Well, not so much "howling", more "looking", silently looking up at

the doggy treat being waved by his handler off-camera.

"But we need him to howl," said the director.

"It'll be fine," said the sound man,

"we'll just stick some howling effects on later,

"and no-one'll notice."

Well, we did. Oh shut up, dear!

How DO they train dumb animals to act?

I'm talking about the dog!

They use handlers, of course.

Handlers like him.

I've always wanted to see what the top of a dog handler's head looks like. Hairy.

Most people in TV will tell you that actors can be difficult to work with.

But take it from me, those people are LIARS.

I wouldn't wee on them if they were on fire.

No, CARS are difficult to work with.

My old friend Ross Kemp now refuses to work with cars

following a nasty incident with a dodgy 1974 Hillman Imp which very nearly acted him off the screen.

A thrilling scene from Lost,

the show about invisible polar bears on a desert island.

Based on a true story.

Here, the truck without the tailgate runs off the road.

Oh, dear. There goes the truck. There goes the tailgate flying off that it didn't have a second ago.

But luckily in the next shot, it's back on again.

Look on the bright side, she's lost a truck but gained a tailgate.

That might come in handy later, polar bears hate car parts.

I hate continuity errors.

Nip/Tuck now and watch these two teenagers.

Oh, dear.

Who'd have thought an argument between a pair of stoners in a speeding car could end so badly?

These lads have left a nasty pair of skid marks.

But when they go and check out the damage, the skid marks have disappeared.

Well, the ones on the road have!

GUFFAWS EXAGGERATEDLY

I mean, you know, the ones in their pants are still there, yeah?

Nice one! The woman's dead, by the way.

I think we hit a bird.

It's Bo and Luke Duke doing what they do well, driving fast

and talking nonsense.

But what's that strange appendage fastened to the right rear wheel?

It couldn't be a camera, could it? To film them flying through the air? Yes, it could.

SHE SCREAMS

Buffy The Vampire Slayer, a show that attracts geeks

like dog poo attracts new trainers.

Here, the Buffster's mate, Cordelia, is having a driving lesson and not a moment too soon.

Wahoo!

If we spin on, we can see and hear...

her slam the car door shut.

But in the next shot it's open.

So that this oncoming truck can smash into it, as per the script.

CORDELIA SCREAMS

Crisis averted. In the circumstances, the best option. Either that or reshoot it properly.

-Nah.

-What's happening? I can't see anything.

Dozy cow.

Hawaii Five-O and Steve McGarrett is off to the scene of a crime

in his beloved Ford.

But what crime exactly? Grand theft auto, that's what.

Because when Steve pulls up at the crime scene, his car has grown a couple more doors.

Yep, he pulls away in a two-door coupe

and arrives in a four-door sedan.

Book him, Danno, for crimes against continuity.

One part of every show normally immune from TV mistakes

is the titles.

Not the famous opening title sequence from Sex And The City, though. Oh, no.

We all know what's coming next.

SJP gets splashed by a bus full of commuters

but look what happens when the same bus turns left moments later.

It's deserted. Maybe they all fainted.

It's not every day you see a Yorkshire terrier in a Tutu.

When visiting LA, there are two things you simply MUST do.

One is rent a fabulous car.

The Sex And The City girls have gone west.

Hey, bet you don't know what the most popular car in LA is?

It's the green four-door sedan.

Look, there's one going past now.

And going past again.

That's very distracting.

Spin on, and almost enough to make the girls crash into another car...

SCREAMING, HORN HONKS

..that's not there any more.

-OK, that's enough!

-Phew, that was close. Did I say close?

I meant badly filmed.

I'm not going to die in this tin can. I have a date with a dildo.

Here's one of those FREAKS from Heroes now,

using his superpower to defrost a car.

Finally, a superpower with a practical use.

What does it say on that car windscreen? "Automatic."

I wasn't looking for an automatic. It's a nice car though. I'm definitely interested.

Actually, it's almost exactly what I'm looking for. I like the colour, the make, the price,

it's just if only instead of being automatic it was say, low-mileage.

He-hey, now it is!

That's what I call superpower.

And art department incompetence.

BEEPING

Ashes To Ashes, and a chance to enjoy

all that painstakingly-recreated '80s period detail.

Everything exactly as it would have been 30 years ago.

Except for that N-reg 1993 Rover 600,

which didn't go into production for another 12 years.

-..before they turn into the high street, copy that.

-Who cares?

-COCKNEY ACCENT:

-We're remaking The Sweeney and we haven't had any dinner!

Here's a clip from 24, and Jack Bauer is under surveillance.

See, there's the minicam, at the front left of the windscreen.

His every move is being watched, except by the remaining audience. They fell asleep hours ago.

Now, look as we see the window from the inside of the car.

The minicam's gone! A mistake?

Well, yes, but these people are saving the world.

They can't remember everything!

Here's Knight Rider, David Hasselhoff, telling KITT

to round up some other cars,

a bit like a two-tonne metal sheepdog,

with an engine and bumpers.

Talking of bumpers, why are all those covered in plastic?

It's almost as if they've been fitted with protective guards

to prevent scratches.

No, they wouldn't do that. That'd be almost as bad as letting us see

the stuntman that really drives KITT, slumped in the front seat.

Well, his arm.

At least he didn't pull a moonie!

Well, there it is, TV's Greatest Mistakes.

I'd just like to say thanks to all the people involved tonight

for being so very sloppy in your chosen careers.

It's a good job it's just telly and nothing of any importance,

because if this had been a paper round or a Saturday job in a burger bar, you'd have been fired.

Bye-bye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd