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This programme contains some strong language | 0:00:16 | 0:00:20 | |
This is Impractical Jokers, the hidden camera show where | 0:00:20 | 0:00:24 | |
four friends compete to embarrass each other in everyday situations. | 0:00:24 | 0:00:28 | |
The Jokers are Joel Dommett... | 0:00:28 | 0:00:29 | |
What's your name got to do with me? | 0:00:29 | 0:00:31 | |
-..Roisin Conaty... -Hello? | 0:00:31 | 0:00:33 | |
-..Paul McCaffrey... -Bundesliga! -..and Marek Larwood. | 0:00:33 | 0:00:36 | |
Pushing each other to the limit, | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
they take it in turns to complete embarrassing challenges. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
They've got to do or say everything the others Jokers tell them | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
by a hidden earpiece. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
-And then do a horrible voice. -Not relaxed! | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
But if they refuse, they lose and face a humiliating forfeit. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:54 | |
It's a ruthless fight to the finish where there's no winners, | 0:00:54 | 0:00:57 | |
just a loser. | 0:00:57 | 0:00:58 | |
No! | 0:00:58 | 0:01:00 | |
It's time for challenge one and the Jokers are working | 0:01:05 | 0:01:08 | |
as masseuses where they will be offering members of the public | 0:01:08 | 0:01:11 | |
free massages, but they've got to do and say everything | 0:01:11 | 0:01:14 | |
the other Jokers tell them to whilst trying to earn a tip. | 0:01:14 | 0:01:17 | |
And whoever earns the least amount fails. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:20 | |
First up, it's Joel. | 0:01:20 | 0:01:23 | |
-Those hands were born to grind into someone's back. -Good day, sir. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:28 | |
Would you like a massage? I'm giving everyone a free little go. | 0:01:28 | 0:01:32 | |
-Very good. -Boom. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
Pop your face in there. Lovely. Right, let's get started. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:37 | |
"My juices are really flowing now." | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
My juices are really flowing now. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:45 | |
Now start rubbing him really, really fast. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want some of that? Yeah, yeah, yeah." | 0:01:49 | 0:01:53 | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:56 | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
-Come on! -Shout, "Come on, Nico, come with me!" | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, Nico, come with me! | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
Get on the love bus. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
Get on the love bus, Nico! | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
Me, you, love bus, now, Nico! | 0:02:10 | 0:02:13 | |
"They're your pains coming out of my mouth right now," and do a howl. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:16 | |
Your pain's coming out of my mouth right now. | 0:02:19 | 0:02:22 | |
HE HOWLS | 0:02:22 | 0:02:25 | |
Do you feel that? I've released it. I released it. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
A little howl. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:29 | |
-HE HOWLS -There's a little bit left. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
Thank you very much, Nico. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:35 | |
Right, now, if you fancied giving a small tip. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
Two pounds, that's incredible, Nico. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
Two pounds. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
So Joel earns himself a tip of two pounds, | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
meaning that they out to beat to avoid getting a fail. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
Hello, could I interest either of you in a free massage? | 0:02:50 | 0:02:53 | |
-Shoulders. -Shoulders? | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
Jackpot. | 0:02:56 | 0:02:57 | |
-Take a seat. Perfect. -Do you want me to take this off? | 0:02:57 | 0:03:00 | |
Yeah, you could take that off. Yeah. OK. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:03 | |
I'm going to relax your body and your mind. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:06 | |
"OK, now I'm going to try the Baranian nose massage." | 0:03:06 | 0:03:10 | |
We're going to try the... | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
Baranian nose massage. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
"I'm just going to give mine a bit of a wipe first." | 0:03:15 | 0:03:18 | |
Give mine a bit of a wipe first. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
Every time you touch your nose on her go, "Ding!" | 0:03:20 | 0:03:23 | |
'Go on.' | 0:03:27 | 0:03:28 | |
Ding. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:32 | |
And again. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:33 | |
Ding. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
JOKERS LAUGH | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
Ding. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:40 | |
Roisin, now tell her that you're going to make her relax | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
with the sound of Wales. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
I'm going to make you relax now properly with the sound of whales. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:50 | |
And just keep saying "Relax" in a Welsh accent. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
Relax. Just really let it all out. Relax. Relax. | 0:03:56 | 0:04:01 | |
-"Relax now, boy." -Relax. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
Relax now, boy. Whose that jacket? | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
"Whose coat's that jacket?" | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
Whose coat's that jacket? | 0:04:11 | 0:04:13 | |
"Whose coat's that jacket, now?" | 0:04:13 | 0:04:15 | |
Whose coat's that jacket? | 0:04:15 | 0:04:17 | |
Relax now, boy. Relax | 0:04:17 | 0:04:20 | |
'Start doing a bit of horse racing commentary in a Welsh accent.' | 0:04:20 | 0:04:23 | |
Relax now, boy. You can do it. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:26 | |
Run, you can go for the line, go on, you're doing so well! | 0:04:26 | 0:04:31 | |
He's going in the first lane, no-one saw him coming, | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
oh, God, I can't believe what he's doing here now. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
Relax now, boy. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
You need to get a tip now, Roisin. Good luck with that. | 0:04:38 | 0:04:41 | |
-Was that OK? -Brilliant. -Oh, brilliant. Thank you. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
'She properly enjoyed it. Wow.' | 0:04:44 | 0:04:46 | |
I think you've accidentally unlocked a new style of massage. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
Oh, that's really kind of you. Thank you so much. It's very kind of you. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:53 | |
It's about three quid. | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
Roisin's tip of three pounds means she's in the clear | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
and gets herself a pass. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:01 | |
Next, it's Marek's turn. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
OK, sit yourself down. Great. Thanks for this, Tony, OK? | 0:05:03 | 0:05:06 | |
Just put your head in that bit here. You feel pretty tight, yeah? | 0:05:06 | 0:05:11 | |
Oh, blimey. Quite knotted. | 0:05:11 | 0:05:13 | |
"You're a knotty, knotty man." | 0:05:13 | 0:05:15 | |
You're a knotty, knotty boy. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:20 | |
JOKERS LAUGH | 0:05:20 | 0:05:21 | |
-Aren't you, Tony? -Yeah. -So knotty. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:25 | |
"I'll have to spank you." | 0:05:25 | 0:05:27 | |
Well, I'm going to... I'm going to have to spank you. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:34 | |
That's it. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
Just keep on saying, "Knotty boy! Knotty boy!" | 0:05:38 | 0:05:41 | |
Knotty boy! | 0:05:44 | 0:05:47 | |
JOKERS LAUGH | 0:05:47 | 0:05:49 | |
-Knotty boy! -'Go back to massage. Go back to massaging.' -Knotty boy! | 0:05:49 | 0:05:52 | |
How's that? All right? | 0:05:53 | 0:05:54 | |
OK, great. | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
-Lean into him and then put your arms around him. -Right. | 0:05:56 | 0:05:59 | |
'This is called...' | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
The semi-orgasmatron. | 0:06:01 | 0:06:02 | |
It's called... | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
It's only half developed, so it's called the semi-orgasmatron. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:08 | |
OK. Relax. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:11 | |
How's that? | 0:06:11 | 0:06:13 | |
JOKERS LAUGH | 0:06:13 | 0:06:15 | |
-Great. Super. How was that, all right? -Yeah, not too bad. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
Thank you very much, Tony. If you feel like chipping in at all. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:30 | |
-I'll put a few knots in there. -Two pounds. Thanks, mate. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:33 | |
Two pounds is good. Really good. | 0:06:33 | 0:06:35 | |
So, Marek earns himself two pounds, but will that be enough | 0:06:35 | 0:06:39 | |
to avoid getting a fail? | 0:06:39 | 0:06:40 | |
Let's find out as it's now Paul's turn. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:42 | |
We're doing free massages today. | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
Got a shop opening, don't know if you've read about it. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:51 | |
-Have a quick massage. -Here he comes. Good man. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
Let's do this. | 0:06:53 | 0:06:55 | |
Just pop your head forward. That's great. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:58 | |
Oh, yeah. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:00 | |
I want you to start laughing | 0:07:00 | 0:07:01 | |
and saying his funny bone's making you feel ticklish. | 0:07:01 | 0:07:04 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:07:06 | 0:07:10 | |
Your funny bone's making me feel ticklish. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:13 | |
I've never had that before. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:15 | |
Really laugh. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:17 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:07:17 | 0:07:20 | |
Get off! | 0:07:25 | 0:07:28 | |
Oh, has that ever happened before? | 0:07:28 | 0:07:31 | |
No. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:32 | |
"Just relaxing the body." | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
Just relaxing the body. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:36 | |
Now start changing your voice so it's really like this. | 0:07:36 | 0:07:38 | |
IN GENTLE VOICE: OK. Just really relaxing you. | 0:07:38 | 0:07:41 | |
-Just really relaxing you. -Just really relaxing you. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:44 | |
And then do a horrible voice, say, "Not relaxed!" | 0:07:44 | 0:07:46 | |
Not relaxed! | 0:07:46 | 0:07:48 | |
-And then back to the relaxing one. -Really relaxing you. | 0:07:48 | 0:07:50 | |
Really relaxing you. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
Then, "Not relaxed!" | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
Not relaxing you! | 0:07:54 | 0:07:57 | |
Do you feel good? | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
Oh, he's not going to give him anything. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
The anything I'd ask, if you feel like you've benefited from that, | 0:08:01 | 0:08:05 | |
and you look like you have, anything you feel... | 0:08:05 | 0:08:08 | |
-Thank you so, so much. -Well done, Paul. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:11 | |
£1.70. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
So Paul only manages to get himself | 0:08:16 | 0:08:19 | |
a tip of £1.70, | 0:08:19 | 0:08:21 | |
resulting in him coming last | 0:08:21 | 0:08:22 | |
and getting a fail. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
Meaning that, after the first challenge, | 0:08:24 | 0:08:27 | |
it's Paul that's in last place. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:30 | |
Time for Challenge Two and the Jokers will be taking it in turns | 0:08:31 | 0:08:35 | |
to join in on a stranger's conversation. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
But, whoever holds the shortest conversation loses and gets a fail. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:41 | |
First up, it's Marek. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
Marek's on the prowl. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:46 | |
It's a big stone. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:53 | |
-It's a big stone, isn't it, that one? -It's a big one. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:56 | |
Well, my parents had a rockery, | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
and they're thinking of getting some stones, | 0:08:58 | 0:09:00 | |
and they're coming to have a look at different ones around here. | 0:09:00 | 0:09:04 | |
-You think your parents would like them? -Pardon? | 0:09:04 | 0:09:07 | |
-Did your parents... -I don't know. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
I don't know how they got it there. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:10 | |
It's quite a big stone to get down there. | 0:09:10 | 0:09:12 | |
It's a bit like a mini Stonehenge. | 0:09:12 | 0:09:14 | |
Yeah, I think a machine must have brought it. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
Like a tractor or a crane, or something like that, probably. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:19 | |
I've spent a lot of time coming down here thinking about how | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
they got that stone up there, but I still can't find the solution. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:25 | |
What do you think, sir? How do you think they got it there? | 0:09:25 | 0:09:28 | |
-My friend's from Switzerland. -Is he? | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
I wonder if they do that in Switzerland. Oh, great. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:33 | |
What are you doing now? Are you going to a disco or anything or... | 0:09:33 | 0:09:36 | |
-No. Just walking. -OK. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
I think I might go to a disco later. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:40 | |
-OK. Super. -Enjoy yourself. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:42 | |
All right then. Thanks a lot. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:43 | |
-Thank you. -Take care. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:44 | |
I'll look at that stone again. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:46 | |
So Marek manages to crash | 0:09:48 | 0:09:50 | |
someone's conversation for 52 seconds, | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
meaning that's the time to beat to avoid getting a fail. | 0:09:52 | 0:09:56 | |
Next up, it's Roisin. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
It's like a wildlife programme, | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
'where she's seen her prey. She's about to pounce.' | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
-I don't want to be a granny. -Oh, grannies are great! | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
Do you think? | 0:10:11 | 0:10:12 | |
-Brilliant! -She just came up with, "I don't want to be a granny?!" | 0:10:12 | 0:10:15 | |
You should be a grandparent before you're a parent, | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
and actually, there's a lot of truth in that. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
She's in there now. In that conversation. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:21 | |
She's going to be invited for dinner! | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
I don't want to have five days... | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
No, no, no. I haven't actually got a child, | 0:10:26 | 0:10:29 | |
but I imagine maybe like, two or three days. | 0:10:29 | 0:10:32 | |
No, one day's fine! | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
One day's fine, yeah. You're right. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:36 | |
Absolutely. Maybe a Tuesday. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:39 | |
This is incredible! | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
Grandmothers are the best, though. They are. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
I do love grandmothers. They are always... | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
This is, like, longer than any conversation | 0:10:46 | 0:10:49 | |
I've ever had in my life! | 0:10:49 | 0:10:50 | |
I had third-degree burns once on my face. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:54 | |
Like, from just being like, not even in hot place. | 0:10:54 | 0:10:57 | |
Anyway, we'll chug along. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
Overstaying her welcome. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:02 | |
Well, it was lovely to meet you guys. | 0:11:03 | 0:11:06 | |
Take care. Bye-bye. | 0:11:06 | 0:11:07 | |
With Roisin getting a time of 59 seconds, | 0:11:10 | 0:11:13 | |
she beats Marek's time and get herself a pass. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:16 | |
But how will the others do? | 0:11:16 | 0:11:17 | |
Let's find out. And next up, it's Paul. | 0:11:17 | 0:11:19 | |
Here he is. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:22 | |
PAUL CHUCKLES | 0:11:24 | 0:11:28 | |
What a good time. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:31 | |
-We've got some good shots, haven't we? -Yeah. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
'Yeah, it's been a good time, hasn't it?' | 0:11:35 | 0:11:37 | |
Brilliant weekend. I think the highlight, for me, was probably... | 0:11:37 | 0:11:41 | |
-what was the best bit? -The best? | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
-The best shot, you reckon we got over the weekend. -The best shot? | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
-Of what? -Well, just the weekend. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
-It's been a great weekend, hasn't it? -It has been great. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
We had a laugh, didn't we? The other day? | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
I can't believe they still think he's normal! | 0:11:52 | 0:11:55 | |
Ice cream wasn't classic, was it? | 0:11:55 | 0:11:57 | |
I didn't try the ice cream. | 0:11:57 | 0:11:58 | |
You, oh, no, that was me, wasn't it? | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
The ice cream? Toffee waffle. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
-Toffee waffle? -Yeah! | 0:12:04 | 0:12:06 | |
THEY GIGGLE | 0:12:06 | 0:12:08 | |
Or rum and raisin. Always a classic. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:11 | |
Sort of reminds me of my nan, though. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:13 | |
What are you up to today, then? | 0:12:15 | 0:12:18 | |
Just probably going to sit and look at the pigeons. | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
Ahhh! | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
Despite running out of things to say, | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
Paul also scores a time of 59 seconds, | 0:12:32 | 0:12:34 | |
which is good enough to get himself a pass. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
Finally, it's Joel. | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
To avoid getting a fail, | 0:12:39 | 0:12:40 | |
all he needs to do is beat Marek's time of 52 seconds. | 0:12:40 | 0:12:44 | |
It looks like the start of a dating advert. | 0:12:44 | 0:12:46 | |
'Why doesn't he just go and join someone's conversation?' | 0:12:46 | 0:12:49 | |
He can't just stand there! | 0:12:49 | 0:12:50 | |
-'Here he goes.' -I think I met your mum | 0:12:57 | 0:12:59 | |
from West Cauldron, right? | 0:12:59 | 0:13:01 | |
-No? She's not from there at all? -No. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:03 | |
-But, from Fife? -Yes. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:05 | |
-You're down from Fife? -Yeah. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
Yeah, yeah. Me too. Me too. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:08 | |
But you are talking about how you were from Fife, | 0:13:08 | 0:13:11 | |
and you guys know from Fife... | 0:13:11 | 0:13:13 | |
Would you mind? I'm just talking to my... | 0:13:13 | 0:13:16 | |
Oh, cool, cool. Sorry. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
-BUZZER -Unlucky, mate! | 0:13:18 | 0:13:20 | |
Oh, Captain Charming! | 0:13:20 | 0:13:22 | |
Probably the scariest man I've ever interrupted in my life. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:25 | |
That was the worst thing I've ever done in my life! | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
So Joel chose the wrong person to chat to. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:31 | |
And with the shortest time of all, of 21 seconds, | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
he comes last and gets a fail. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:36 | |
Meaning he joins Paul in last place with one fail each. | 0:13:36 | 0:13:42 | |
I've got one of these faces the people want to talk to. | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
So the old lady just acted like I was an old friend. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:46 | |
I hated it. I feel unloved. | 0:13:46 | 0:13:49 | |
It made me feel like I'm some sort of scary weirdo. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
I thought I was Marek. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:53 | |
What?! What do you mean?! | 0:13:53 | 0:13:55 | |
At least he tried. You just, like, stalked round them. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:58 | |
It's interacting with people you don't know. | 0:13:58 | 0:14:01 | |
-My mother always told me that conversation is sacred. -What?! | 0:14:01 | 0:14:04 | |
I've not even had a proper conversation, I don't think. | 0:14:04 | 0:14:07 | |
I'm just a lonely man. | 0:14:07 | 0:14:09 | |
A very lonely, bald man, who looks a bit like an alien. | 0:14:09 | 0:14:11 | |
Time for challenge three, | 0:14:15 | 0:14:18 | |
and our Jokers are pretending to be reporters | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
asking complete strangers a series of questions. | 0:14:20 | 0:14:23 | |
But they have been written by the other Jokers, | 0:14:23 | 0:14:26 | |
and failure to ask the questions will result in a fail. | 0:14:26 | 0:14:29 | |
And whoever gets the most fails at the end of the show | 0:14:29 | 0:14:32 | |
faces a humiliating forfeit. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
First up, it's Paul. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:37 | |
Excuse me, I just want to ask a couple of questions | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
for Etiquette magazine. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
If you're asking questions for Etiquette, | 0:14:41 | 0:14:43 | |
you want to say please, for a start. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:44 | |
THEY LAUGH How about, "Fuck you, Marek?" | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
'How's that for etiquette?' | 0:14:47 | 0:14:48 | |
Hi, there. | 0:14:48 | 0:14:50 | |
Can I just ask a couple of questions for Etiquette magazine? | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
Would that be OK? Can I just ask, | 0:14:53 | 0:14:55 | |
which of the world's nations has the best manners, would you say? | 0:14:55 | 0:14:58 | |
Judging from the children I was with, | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
I would say India. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
India? OK, that's interesting. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:06 | |
I can't stand them, myself. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:07 | |
Not a big fan myself, but... | 0:15:07 | 0:15:09 | |
-ROISIN: -'Next question, in the style of a Victorian gent. | 0:15:09 | 0:15:12 | |
'All flamboyant.' | 0:15:12 | 0:15:13 | |
Of all the manners out there, | 0:15:13 | 0:15:16 | |
of which do you find most annoying, good madams? | 0:15:16 | 0:15:19 | |
This is great! | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
Arrogance. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:24 | |
Indeed! | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
Arrogance, 'tis the most pitiful of manners. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:30 | |
-'Tis true. -Yes. | 0:15:30 | 0:15:32 | |
-ROISIN: -'Shout, "Cat!"' | 0:15:32 | 0:15:33 | |
And chase an imaginary cat. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:34 | |
CAT! | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
He's gone! | 0:15:36 | 0:15:37 | |
-MAREK: -'Keep running! Keep running, Paul! | 0:15:38 | 0:15:40 | |
-'Keep chasing it!' -CAT! | 0:15:40 | 0:15:42 | |
'Keep running! Keep running!' | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
'Go back and say, "Did you see that cat?"' | 0:15:49 | 0:15:51 | |
Sorry, where were we? | 0:15:53 | 0:15:54 | |
When is it OK to share urinals? | 0:15:57 | 0:15:59 | |
Say, "I don't really like you," and move on. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:03 | |
Is that what you would like us..? | 0:16:04 | 0:16:06 | |
HE STUTTERS | 0:16:06 | 0:16:09 | |
Turn around and walk away. | 0:16:09 | 0:16:10 | |
HE LAUGHS OK, you've been absolutely brilliant. Thank you very much. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
So Paul refuses to complete the final instruction, | 0:16:13 | 0:16:18 | |
and gets himself a fail. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:20 | |
Next up, it's Marek. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:22 | |
Excuse me, sir, I wondered if you have the time | 0:16:22 | 0:16:25 | |
-to answer a few questions for magazine? -Yeah. | 0:16:25 | 0:16:28 | |
-It would just take a few seconds. -No problem. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
The magazine's called Confrontation. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:33 | |
OK, so first question, | 0:16:33 | 0:16:34 | |
would you consider yourself a confrontational person? | 0:16:34 | 0:16:38 | |
-Yes. -Yes? | 0:16:38 | 0:16:40 | |
OK. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:42 | |
Er...what... | 0:16:44 | 0:16:46 | |
..what are you looking at? | 0:16:47 | 0:16:49 | |
THEY GIGGLE | 0:16:49 | 0:16:51 | |
-PAUL: -'Don't say anything. Hold it.' | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
That's all? | 0:17:01 | 0:17:03 | |
Sorry, I forgot...erm, great. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:14 | |
Ask the next question in a Nigerian accent. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:16 | |
HE ADOPTS NIGERIAN ACCENT What is the average number of weapons | 0:17:19 | 0:17:23 | |
you carry at any one time, mama? | 0:17:23 | 0:17:24 | |
Two, but I can also improvise about three or four. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:30 | |
Three or four? I think that's great. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:32 | |
Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Perfect. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:35 | |
That's another pass for Marek. | 0:17:35 | 0:17:39 | |
Next, it's Roisin. | 0:17:39 | 0:17:40 | |
I work for a magazine. It's called Suspicion. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:44 | |
So I've just got a few questions. | 0:17:44 | 0:17:46 | |
Have you... | 0:17:47 | 0:17:49 | |
..have you been slagging me off lately? | 0:17:51 | 0:17:52 | |
No. Why would I slag you off? | 0:17:52 | 0:17:54 | |
-I don't know you. -I don't know. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:57 | |
I've just got a bad feeling about it. | 0:17:57 | 0:17:59 | |
I just get a bad feeling about it sometimes. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:02 | |
-Would you consider yourself a paranoid person? -No. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:05 | |
-MAREK: -'Duck! Immediately, duck!' | 0:18:05 | 0:18:07 | |
'And look up again.' | 0:18:09 | 0:18:10 | |
And duck again. | 0:18:10 | 0:18:12 | |
'Next question. Go on.' | 0:18:13 | 0:18:15 | |
Why do you... SHE GIGGLES | 0:18:15 | 0:18:18 | |
..why do you keep whispering? | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
-You don't know? You don't know. -No idea. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:25 | |
And, finally, finally... | 0:18:27 | 0:18:29 | |
Say it! | 0:18:33 | 0:18:34 | |
That's it. That's the lot. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:36 | |
'Thank you very much. Thank you.' | 0:18:36 | 0:18:39 | |
So Roisin joins Paul with a fail. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:42 | |
Finally, it's Joel. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:45 | |
Joel, I need a story for by first thing tomorrow. A big story. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:50 | |
-'Go and find me that scoop, bitch! -'What about that woman?' | 0:18:50 | 0:18:52 | |
Excuse me? Hi, there. I'm a reporter for a magazine. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:56 | |
I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of questions? | 0:18:56 | 0:19:00 | |
-Yeah, you can ask me anything. -Absolutely, absolutely. | 0:19:00 | 0:19:03 | |
It's for a magazine, it's a crime magazine called Truest Crime. | 0:19:03 | 0:19:07 | |
First question is, when did you last visit your uncle in prison? | 0:19:07 | 0:19:11 | |
What?! I've never had an uncle in prison. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:14 | |
You've never had an uncle in prison? | 0:19:14 | 0:19:16 | |
What sort of question is that?! | 0:19:16 | 0:19:18 | |
Do I look like I have an uncle in prison?! | 0:19:18 | 0:19:20 | |
Yes. Yes, you definitely do. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:22 | |
I mean, you know. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:23 | |
-MAREK: -'Yes, you do.' | 0:19:23 | 0:19:24 | |
Sort of...yes, you do. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:26 | |
You know, you might do. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:27 | |
That is the weirdest question I've ever been asked. | 0:19:27 | 0:19:30 | |
You definitely do. | 0:19:30 | 0:19:32 | |
Now, er... | 0:19:32 | 0:19:33 | |
..if I... | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
Is he going to do it? Is he going to do it? | 0:19:37 | 0:19:40 | |
SHE LAUGHS What's wrong? | 0:19:40 | 0:19:43 | |
With Joel refusing to ask his question, | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
he gets another fail. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:50 | |
Which means, going into the final challenge, it's all to play for. | 0:19:50 | 0:19:53 | |
As Paul and Joel are joint last overall with two fails each. | 0:19:53 | 0:19:56 | |
The final challenge sees the Jokers in a self-service canteen, | 0:19:59 | 0:20:03 | |
and they've got to steal as many items of food as they can | 0:20:03 | 0:20:06 | |
from the other diners' plates. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:08 | |
But they must do this without speaking. | 0:20:08 | 0:20:10 | |
Whoever gets the fewest items loses and gets a fail. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:14 | |
First up, it's Roisin. | 0:20:14 | 0:20:16 | |
She's scared. You can tell she's scared. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:21 | |
-PAUL: -'Oh, the stress on her face!' | 0:20:21 | 0:20:23 | |
-MAREK: -'She's putting stuff on her plate!' | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
She's just using the buffet! | 0:20:26 | 0:20:27 | |
Oh, here comes trouble! | 0:20:31 | 0:20:32 | |
-Oh, God! -Here comes trouble! | 0:20:32 | 0:20:34 | |
She's making it worse for herself. Dragging it out. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:44 | |
Onion rings. One. | 0:20:53 | 0:20:54 | |
She's not even flinched! | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
'It's almost like,' | 0:20:56 | 0:20:58 | |
"I'm going through a few problems, yeah." | 0:20:58 | 0:21:00 | |
THEY GASP | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
-JOEL: -'Oh, my God!' | 0:21:02 | 0:21:04 | |
Why would you not move away? | 0:21:04 | 0:21:05 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:21:09 | 0:21:11 | |
-JOEL: -'Her wild eyes at that point!' | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
-MAREK: -'She's not even reacting!' | 0:21:14 | 0:21:15 | |
She didn't like that one! | 0:21:18 | 0:21:19 | |
She's taking her coat. She's off. | 0:21:20 | 0:21:21 | |
So Roisin managed to steal three items of food, | 0:21:25 | 0:21:28 | |
meaning that's the score to beat to avoid getting a fail. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:32 | |
Marek in his natural habitat! | 0:21:36 | 0:21:37 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:21:40 | 0:21:42 | |
-JOEL: -'I'm so scared!' | 0:21:42 | 0:21:43 | |
THEY GIGGLE | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
He's going to go back in! God! | 0:21:54 | 0:21:57 | |
-JOEL: -'Look at the other people! Like, "What the hell?!"' | 0:21:59 | 0:22:02 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:22:02 | 0:22:04 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:22:08 | 0:22:11 | |
-JOEL: -'That's the best thing I've ever seen!' | 0:22:13 | 0:22:15 | |
That was amazing! | 0:22:15 | 0:22:16 | |
Marek's no-nonsense approach | 0:22:19 | 0:22:21 | |
scores him an entire plate of food, | 0:22:21 | 0:22:23 | |
and in the process, a pass. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:25 | |
Next up, and currently in joint last place, it's Paul. | 0:22:25 | 0:22:28 | |
HE WHISTLES | 0:22:28 | 0:22:31 | |
The most sinister whistler I've ever seen. | 0:22:31 | 0:22:34 | |
He just needs to look a bit hungrier. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:35 | |
He's gone tongs. He's taken tongs. | 0:22:37 | 0:22:40 | |
-He's scanning. -It's a clever technique. | 0:22:42 | 0:22:44 | |
-MAREK: -'It's a reach over! | 0:22:48 | 0:22:50 | |
-'He's going for the reach over!' -JOEL GASPS | 0:22:50 | 0:22:52 | |
-MAREK: -'Look at the anger! | 0:22:58 | 0:23:00 | |
'Oh, this is genuinely...' | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
-JOEL: -'Oh, my God! this is so weird!' | 0:23:03 | 0:23:05 | |
It's like the start of a horror film! | 0:23:05 | 0:23:08 | |
The buffet's over there, mate. Just there. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:10 | |
-THEY LAUGH -He has to take more! | 0:23:13 | 0:23:16 | |
Excuse me, what do you think you're doing? | 0:23:18 | 0:23:20 | |
-JOEL: -He just gave them some! | 0:23:25 | 0:23:27 | |
Catherine, don't let him! | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
They're getting so angry! | 0:23:30 | 0:23:32 | |
He's got loads! | 0:23:36 | 0:23:38 | |
-THEY GIGGLE -He's got loads! | 0:23:38 | 0:23:41 | |
Can you tell him to go away, please? | 0:23:41 | 0:23:43 | |
He's not with us. He's not. | 0:23:48 | 0:23:50 | |
He's just taking our food. | 0:23:50 | 0:23:52 | |
Excuse me, sir, you are not allowed to take food like this. | 0:24:00 | 0:24:04 | |
-JOEL: -'Oh, my God!' | 0:24:09 | 0:24:11 | |
ROISIN: 'They're so angry! | 0:24:11 | 0:24:12 | |
-PAUL: -'They're so angry!' | 0:24:12 | 0:24:14 | |
Paul manages to steal ten items of food and gets a pass. | 0:24:15 | 0:24:20 | |
Next up, it's Joel, and to avoid facing this week's punishment, | 0:24:20 | 0:24:23 | |
he must beat Roisin's score of three. | 0:24:23 | 0:24:26 | |
I've never seen him this uncomfortable. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:28 | |
I'm so scared. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:31 | |
He looks like he's about to cry. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:34 | |
Man on the edge. | 0:24:36 | 0:24:38 | |
I'll pretend to be on my phone. | 0:24:38 | 0:24:40 | |
Oh! | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
MAREK: 'Oh, the fake telephone call! | 0:24:45 | 0:24:47 | |
'Put the phone in your pocket,' | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
and start nicking some food! | 0:24:49 | 0:24:50 | |
MAREK: 'Oh, here we go!' | 0:24:52 | 0:24:54 | |
-ROISIN: -'Oh, hello, he's still talking.' | 0:24:54 | 0:24:56 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
What are you doing? | 0:25:05 | 0:25:06 | |
I'm so sorry. This is not...I apologise. | 0:25:06 | 0:25:09 | |
MAREK: 'Oh, he's talking!' | 0:25:09 | 0:25:12 | |
I thought this was the buffet. I really apologise. | 0:25:12 | 0:25:14 | |
It's a really horrible thing to do. | 0:25:14 | 0:25:16 | |
So Joel bottles it and ends up speaking. | 0:25:18 | 0:25:20 | |
His one item of food means he loses | 0:25:20 | 0:25:23 | |
and gets his third fail of the day, putting him in last place. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:26 | |
And now, he's got to face up to the consequences. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:30 | |
So with three losses to his name, | 0:25:30 | 0:25:32 | |
Joel finds himself heading off for his mystery forfeit, | 0:25:32 | 0:25:35 | |
which will take place at a dry cleaners. | 0:25:35 | 0:25:37 | |
-We know what happens to losers, don't we, Joel? -No. | 0:25:37 | 0:25:40 | |
They get punished. | 0:25:40 | 0:25:41 | |
We just want you to go in the dry cleaners. | 0:25:41 | 0:25:43 | |
Just handing your dry cleaning. | 0:25:43 | 0:25:45 | |
But, Joel, you haven't got any dry cleaning. | 0:25:45 | 0:25:48 | |
Apart from everything you're wearing. And we mean, EVERYTHING. | 0:25:48 | 0:25:51 | |
-What, even his socks?! -Even his socks! | 0:25:51 | 0:25:54 | |
And then, Joel, we want you to come out to us again. | 0:25:54 | 0:25:57 | |
In you go. Quick, they're about to close, Joel, so hurry up! | 0:25:57 | 0:26:01 | |
Come on, you've got to get those clothes dry cleaned, Joel! | 0:26:01 | 0:26:03 | |
-Hello, there. How are you? -I'm good. | 0:26:08 | 0:26:11 | |
All right. Er... | 0:26:11 | 0:26:13 | |
-I'm just going to dry clean my... -Can I have your surname, please? | 0:26:13 | 0:26:17 | |
My surname is Dommett. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:18 | |
D-O-M-M-E-T-T. | 0:26:18 | 0:26:21 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:26:21 | 0:26:22 | |
-First name? -First name is Joel. J-O-E-L. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:25 | |
Poor bloke! | 0:26:27 | 0:26:28 | |
-We don't do shoes. -You don't do shoes? | 0:26:28 | 0:26:30 | |
-No. -That's fine. Sorry. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:31 | |
I feel like a pervert. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:32 | |
I've never seen someone undress so slowly. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:34 | |
-It's not burlesque! -ROISIN LAUGHS | 0:26:34 | 0:26:36 | |
Is it this stuff you're getting cleaned? | 0:26:36 | 0:26:39 | |
Yeah, and just a few more things. | 0:26:39 | 0:26:41 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:26:41 | 0:26:44 | |
Go on, Joel. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:46 | |
I thought I wanted this. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:48 | |
But now...I think it's awful. | 0:26:48 | 0:26:52 | |
It was a good idea on paper. Poor bloke! | 0:26:52 | 0:26:54 | |
Do you do T-shirts? | 0:26:55 | 0:26:56 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:26:59 | 0:27:02 | |
Yeah, I'm going. | 0:27:02 | 0:27:03 | |
So Joel was this week's loser, and clearly, the man has no shame. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:16 | |
You know you're supposed to do that thing | 0:27:16 | 0:27:18 | |
where you just pull it a few times before you leave? | 0:27:18 | 0:27:20 | |
I think it was the glass made it look different. That was all. | 0:27:20 | 0:27:23 | |
-You'll probably get a discount next time. -How you feel now? | 0:27:23 | 0:27:26 | |
I'm genuinely shaking so much! | 0:27:26 | 0:27:28 | |
You've given the nation what they wanted. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:30 | |
It was impressive! Don't worry about anything down there. | 0:27:30 | 0:27:33 | |
-You looked incredible. -It was wonderful. | 0:27:33 | 0:27:34 | |
Yeah, I'm going to go straight home and draw a picture of it. | 0:27:34 | 0:27:38 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:27:38 | 0:27:40 | |
Next time on Impractical Jokers, there's some rubbish dancing, | 0:27:44 | 0:27:47 | |
-Joel speaks to some flowers... -HE SPEAKS GIBBERISH | 0:27:47 | 0:27:50 | |
..and Marek loses the plot. | 0:27:50 | 0:27:52 | |
OK, stop looking at me! Get out of my way! | 0:27:52 | 0:27:55 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:28:21 | 0:28:25 |