Episode 2 Len Goodman's Partners in Rhyme

Poems, sonnets, limericks, verses

Rhymes in love and rhymes in curses.

Let's get on with the show!

APPLAUSE

Ha-ha-ha!

Hello and welcome to Partners In Rhyme.

The aim of this game is to find rhymes of all kinds of places -

in pictures, films, headlines, even rhymes in mimes.

This game is all rhyme and no reason.

Let me show you how it works.

Take a look at this picture and find the rhyme.

That's Anton Du Beke on a camel trek.

If you've got the time...

-AUDIENCE:

-Len's got the rhyme.

-Thank you!

Tonight, two contestants will be going head-to-head

and teaming up with their very own partners in rhyme.

So, let's meet this evening's celebrity teams.

APPLAUSE

On our first team, she spent time in Albert Square.

You'll find Cockney rhyming slang there, so welcome, Nina Wadia.

-Thank you so much.

-Hey! Look at you.

And joining Nina, I hope this choir master's not a rhyming disaster.

-It's Gareth Malone.

-Hello.

-Oh, Gareth.

She's a singing comedian with dulcet tones.

Make some noise for Vikki Stone.

-Hey!

-Hey!

And with Vikki, Mr Oduba is here to play,

so welcome, please, my mate Ore!

Hey!

-Hey!

-Good to see you, man.

-It's good to see YOU!

Strictly champ, everyone.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Pop down, let's have a cuddle. Come on.

-Ah.

-Ah.

While we're here, come down. I'll be the girl.

-Let's have a look at your frame.

-Is it still there?

-Oh!

And I tell you what, Ore - your deltoids!

Oh, give us a break! You've been working out, ain't you?

Joanne never complimented me on my deltoids.

Well, you've got a pair of deltoids, I'm telling you that. Well done.

Ladies and gentlemen, our celebrities.

APPLAUSE

OK, so let's go and meet our contestants.

APPLAUSE

-Carolynne.

-Hello.

-Carolynne, how are you?

-I'm very well, thank you.

-You look lovely.

-Thank you.

-You up for this?

-Definitely.

-What do you do for a living?

-I'm retired. I was a trauma nurse.

-Shut up!

-Yes!

-And I understand...

I know you're too modest to mention it.

-You were nurse of the year.

-I was, yes.

It was for the Berkshire, Buckinghamshire, Oxfordshire area.

-I tell you this. I think ALL nurses are great, I really do.

-Thank you.

-They're brilliant.

-They work hard.

They DO work hard. Are you married?

Yes, I've had four husbands and I'm on the lookout for number five.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

If husband number four doesn't finish the decorating,

there'll be an opening.

LAUGHTER

-So, yes, husband number five.

-You're getting me all unnecessary.

LAUGHTER

-OK, lovely to meet you, Carolynne.

-Thank you.

-Hello, Craig.

-Hello, Len.

-How are you?

-Good to see you.

Nice to see you. Look at you. Craig.

-Glad to be here.

-APPLAUSE

-What do you do, Craig?

-I'm an area manager for a phone company.

-The old mobile?

-The old mobile, yeah.

-I was a late mobile phoner.

I didn't want one. Now, if I go out and I've forgotten it, I go home.

I've got to have it. It's like part of my body now.

-It's an extension of you, isn't it?

-Yeah. You married or not?

-Yeah, I'm married. I met my lovely wife at school.

-At school?

At school, yeah. So, I turned up on my first day in senior school

when I was 13, and she was sat opposite me

and a vision of beauty, and I knew there and then she was for me.

-Love at first sight.

-Love at first sight.

-Ah.

-Lovely.

-Yeah, yeah.

-APPLAUSE

One of you could be walking away with a holiday tonight,

so good luck.

Ladies and gentlemen, Carolynne and Craig, everyone.

APPLAUSE

Carolynne and Craig are about to pair up

with one of our celebrity rhyming teams but to help them choose,

they need to see them in action.

I'm going to give you one rhyme each to solve.

There are no points at stake,

it's just a chance to show who's drab and who's fab.

Nina, you're first. Keep it clean, your rhyme's on the screen.

-Ah.

-MONKEY SCREECHES

Um, a hot-air balloon and that is a baboon.

A baboon on a balloon.

-Good stuff. Gareth, your test. Give it your best.

-I'm ready.

-WARBLING

-That's...

Oh, it's the guy who rides bikes.

-Sir Christopher Hoy singing like a choirboy.

-Hey!

Vikki, over to you. What can you do?

-Are you on a hen do? Underwater hen do.

-I was happy with that one.

Oh, hang on. Ore Oduba is learning to scuba.

Hey, love it!

Ore, here's your shot, so what have you got?

Here we go. Ooh.

-It's a yeti on a jetty, Len.

-Love it!

-Nice. Very good.

Very good.

OK, I've put our celebrities to the test,

but now, Carolynne and Craig's turn.

Let's play Find The Rhyme.

APPLAUSE

This is the quickfire round.

Whoever guesses most rhymes in two minutes

gets first pick of the teams.

If you think you know, give it a go.

On your buzzers. It's Find The Rhyme.

Who's that? BUZZ

Len, I think that's David Beckham in Peckham.

Correct, Craig. Well done. Next one.

BUZZ

-Len, is that a troll in a hole?

-Troll in a hole's good. Next one.

BUZZ

-Carolynne.

-Pear in a chair.

-Yeah, that's good enough.

And a one, two, three. A one, two, three, four.

BUZZ Yes, Craig.

-Is that ants doing a chorus dance?

-No, it's not, but it's close.

-Carolynne?

-Ants in pants.

Ants in pants! Correct.

Whoa-ho, here we go.

BUZZ

Harry Styles cleaning tiles.

Love it, love it! Well done.

TRAIN CHUGS

TRAIN HORN BUZZ

-Yes, Craig.

-Champagne on a train.

-Yes, thank you.

What's that? BUZZ

-Yes, Craig.

-A guitar breaking out of a jar.

Yes, good one. There we go.

BUZZ Yes, Craig.

-Harrison Ford writing on a chalkboard.

-Love it!

What's this? BUZZ

-A cat wearing a hat.

-Close enough.

-Yeah.

-There we go.

Whee, whee!

BUZZ

-A bun on a...ski run.

-Yeah, love it! Well done.

CAR HORN BEEPS BUZZ

-Sheep in a jeep.

-Yes, thank you, Carolynne.

END-OF-ROUND BUZZER Time's up.

So, who's choosing the best and who's stuck with the rest?

It's time for the scores.

Carolynne, you have a very commendable 4.

-Thank you.

-Craig, you've got

my favourite number. 7!

Which means, Craig, you can choose your team.

Who are your partners in rhyme tonight?

Is it Nina and Gareth or Vikki and Ore?

This is really tricky.

-They would all be ace, but I'm going to go with Vikki and Ore.

-Yeah!

-All right.

-Whoo!

-APPLAUSE

-So, that means, Carolynne, you are with Nina and Gareth.

-Yes!

So, it's team-up time with your partners in rhyme.

Hey-hey, Craig, you must be happy with your team.

This is the winning team here, yeah? Yeah.

What on Earth made you pick those two? I'm just asking.

We've got an absolute champion here, we know, winner of Strictly,

and with these great looks and personality

were going to be winning today.

Don't forget, Craig, the lunges that we rehearsed.

-Yeah, we're getting ready.

-Let's do it, let's do it.

-Oh, yes.

I love it. Right, well, they're up for it.

We haven't been doing any lunges over here. Should we be doing that?

-Should we be lunging?

-We can do lunges.

LAUGHTER

She's moved on, she's moved on from Len.

Gareth, don't get started doing that, especially in those trousers.

-You're right.

-Carolynne.

-Yes.

You'd have picked these two anyway, wouldn't you?

I would have picked these two. This is the winning team.

-You've got a great group there.

-They're going down.

Oh, hey, fighting talk!

-Losers. Losers.

-Losers.

No, keep apart.

Now we've got our teams, we'll reset the scores to zero

and play Mime The Rhyme.

APPLAUSE

OK, in this round the clues are about famous people

doing something that rhymes with their name.

Craig won the last round, so he plays first.

In this round, Vikki must describe the rhyme,

while Ore must mime the action.

Each team will be given five clues

and you've 30 seconds to mime and describe each one.

Let's play Mime The Rhyme.

APPLAUSE

-Come on, Craig.

-Let's do this.

OK. I'm not much of a sports fan,

but I'm pretty sure I know who this is.

Olympian, surname is something you might find in a DIY shop.

Won lots of medals at the 2012 Olympics.

-Runs really fast, really quite fast.

-What about Ore?

-Ore's giving you a lovely clue here.

-Um...

He runs really fast. He's a man. Recent.

-Current Olympian.

-Come on, look. What's he doing?

His surname is something that you'd hammer into a wall.

-Go on, Ore.

-Oh, what's his name?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, this stuff.

-I know...

BUZZER

Oh, no, give over.

Craig, oh, Usain Bolt.

Usain Bolt, yeah. Usain Bolt, yeah.

He was doing... He was doing a somersault.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-We never got round to the somersault.

Let's go for number two.

OK, owner of Microsoft,

one of the richest men in the world.

-Bill Gates.

-Yes, yes.

Um, spinning plates.

-Yes!

-Yes!

-You're in the zone.

-You're in the zone.

-Come on.

APPLAUSE

OK, next one, here we go.

Oh, he was on Strictly

and he was really fabulous on Strictly.

-Also he tweeted his own name once.

-Ore?

And has a day named after him. Labour politician.

Oh, um, what's his name? Gangnam, doing Gangnam Style.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-What's his name?

-Ed Balls.

-Yes.

-Yes.

-Er...

-Hitting balls.

-No.

-Ed Balls...

-No.

-Batting balls.

-Come on.

-Yeah, lovely.

-What's that?

-He's...

-Smashing.

-Yeah, what's he smashing?

-TV.

No, no, no, it's bigger than a TV. BUZZER

Ah.

It was Ed Balls knocking down walls.

-So, once you get "Balls"...

-Yeah.

-..you've got to think of something that rhymes with "Balls".

-Yes.

-And the perfect one for that was "walls", wasn't it?

-It was.

-Moving on.

-We've got one, we've got one.

-Oh, comedian, crazy hair.

-Michael McIntyre.

No, talks like this,

makes lots of YouTube videos.

Used to be married to Katy Perry.

-Oh, um...

-Gangly.

-I know him.

-Arms everywhere.

-Long hair.

-Yeah.

-You've got him.

-Oh, what's his name?

That's the thing we need, his name.

What does it rhyme with, his name?

Um, well, do the mime then. This is the game.

-Yeah.

-What's that?

-A handstand.

-Yeah, so who's the comedian?

-Handstand.

-Comedian.

-Brand.

-Yes!

-Yeah, handstand.

-BUZZER Out of time.

-Ah.

Russell Brand doing a handstand.

-Let's move on.

-Right.

-Last one.

-Pantomime character.

It's a woman, she has seven friends that are little people.

-Snow White?

-Yes.

-Snow White. What's she having?

-Having a fight.

-Yeah! Oh! APPLAUSE

Yes!

Ha-ha!

OK, well, that's time up. Well done. Well done.

-Join your team, over you go.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

-You were so good.

-Ah, we did all right.

-Carolynne, your turn now. Come on down.

-Thank you. Thank you.

Gareth, you will be describing the famous person,

Nina, you're miming the actions.

Remember, you have five clues

-and 30 seconds on each.

-Right.

Oh, she was married to the man

who was in Twelve Monkeys

whose name is Brad, Brad Pitt.

-She was married to him, but now she's not.

-Angelina Jolie?

-Yes.

-Angelina Jolie.

-I'm going to try this.

Doing? APPLAUSE

-A roly-poly.

-Yes!

APPLAUSE Yes!

Angelina Jolie, lovely roly... Honestly.

I don't know what I did there.

-Well, it was...

-I rolled.

-You got one.

Let's do the next one.

Oh, he's famous for going into other people's houses

and hanging around, looking at them.

-Keith Lemon?

-No, not Keith Lemon.

Oh, the Hamiltons, he hung out with the Hamiltons.

He did something on prisons, he's on BBC Two.

He does... It's his Weird World.

He's a man. And it rhymes with this.

Look, what's that?

-Rowing?

-No. Rowing, rowing what?

-Boat?

-What are you rowing?

-Boat?

-Not a boat. Not a boat. It's like that.

It's like that. Look, it's like that.

-Oh...

-What sort of boat is it? BUZZER

It was Louis Theroux in a canoe.

-In a canoe.

-Number three, here we go.

Oh, bumbly.

"I'm terribly sorry", affable, floppy hair,

There was one wedding, and there's Four Weddings And A Funeral.

-Oh, Hugh Grant.

-Yes.

-Hugh Grant.

-Planting...

-Potting a plant.

-Yes!

-Plant, yes.

APPLAUSE Hugh Grant potting a plant.

Lovely.

That was good. It was quick, it was clear. Next one.

Oh.

-Spock.

-Yes!

-Can I have your shoe for a second?

-Wearing his socks?

-No, he's not wearing it.

-Smelling socks. Smelly sock.

-Sniffing sock.

-You can have that.

APPLAUSE Spock sniffing a sock.

-OK, moving on, last one.

-Come on.

-Come on, you're on a roll.

Oh, um, oh, this man... He's in a film.

Er, his first name is like the little ball

in the French game petanque

and his second name is the opposite of white.

-Black?

-Yes. Er...er...

-Jack Black?

-Yes, Jack Black! Jack Black.

-Er, OK.

-Oh, this is...

-Filling a sack?

-No, not bad though.

No.

Jack Black digging a...

-No, no, you're screwing and...

-A box, a sack?

-No.

-Sack... Jack Black screwing...

BUZZER Oh.

Jack Black building a flat pack. That was hard.

-Do I get half a point?

-No, you get nothing.

-Thank you for helping.

-Well, you need two people for that.

Oh, well, good effort.

-Your time's up, you did great. Now go and rejoin your team.

-Thank you.

Give them both a clap. APPLAUSE

-Well done.

-Thank you.

-Well done.

OK, so after that Mime Time, let's have a look at the scores.

Craig, you've got 2 points.

APPLAUSE Not bad.

Carolynne, 3 points.

-APPLAUSE

-Yeah!

-In your face!

It's all still to play for,

as we go into round three, Rhyme Watch.

APPLAUSE

I'm about to show you a short film starring a celebrity.

Hidden in the film are seven pairs of rhymes to find.

If you spot the rhymes, please write them down.

There is a point for each correct pair.

Now, this is not easy, so when you're playing along at home,

keep your eyes peeled, as the rhymes are revealed.

Let's have a kick ball change from my old mucker Anton Du Beke.

# Oh, what, wow

# He's the greatest dancer

# Oh, what, wow

-# That I've ever seen

-I've ever seen...

ANTON GROANS

ANTON EXHALES

Gorgeous Goodman.

DANCE MUSIC IS INTERRUPTED BY SOUND EFFECTS FROM FILM PSYCHO

-TANNOY:

-Anton Du Beke, please make your way to the stage.

# There's no business like showbusiness... #

-Stylish.

-# Like no business I know

# Everything about it is appealing... #

# Let's go on with the show. #

Much better!

# Hay milonga de amor

# Hay temblor de gotan... #

# Hit the road, Jack

# And don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more

# Hit the road, Jack... #

MUSIC FROM PEARL & DEAN'S CINEMA TITLES

APPLAUSE

How many did you get at home?

Let's see if you were right.

There's the first one.

TEAMS GROAN

-Carolynne got that.

-Yeah.

-Craig didn't.

-Oh...

-Oh, unlucky. Next one.

TEAMS GROAN

Obviously, neither of you got that.

Fright, light. He did a lovely frightening face.

LAUGHTER

OK, move on, number three.

-Yes.

-Yeah, both got that. Litter on glitter.

Nice. Here we go.

-Yes, got that.

-Tango and mango.

Got that, both of you, well done.

Moving on.

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-Both of you?

-Beehive and jive?

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-Lovely. Well done.

Next one. This is going to be exciting.

-Spin with a grin.

-Yes!

Both got that. Well done the pair of you. Last one.

-ALL:

-Yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen, didn't they do well? Be honest.

APPLAUSE

So, your scores for Rhyme Watch.

Craig, you got 5. Lovely jubbly.

Carolynne, you got 6.

-Yes!

-Yes, well done.

-Come on!

But how does that leave the teams overall?

Craig, you've got 7.

-Yay.

-Yes.

Carolynne, you've got 9.

-Yeah!

-Yeah! Thanks, team.

-APPLAUSE

But we have one round more with points to score.

Whoever is in the lead after this

will go on to tackle our end game to play for the holiday.

-APPLAUSE ALL:

-Whoo!

# We can go to the club or hide away

# We can do what you want to, baby. #

Oh, yes!

It's time for News At Len.

BIG BEN CHIMES APPLAUSE

Good evening, I'm Len Goodman.

This is the BBC and these are the headlines from News At Len.

BIG BEN CHIME I have four news stories

and you must work out rhyming headlines that go with them.

Listen carefully, but don't buzz in until I ask for the headline.

There are two points for each correct answer.

It's time for tonight's news.

First up, sports news. BIG BEN CHIME

There was consternation at Old Trafford

when it was revealed that an England and Manchester United top scorer

is to be sacked and replaced by an actor

better known for his roles in ER, Oceans Eleven and Gravity.

"You won't notice any difference," said the star,

"Although I am slightly better looking."

What's the headline? BUZZ

Carolynne, you got in first.

-Wayne Rooney...

-Replaced by...

-Replaced by George Clooney.

-Let's have a look.

George Clooney replaces Wayne Rooney.

He could replace me and no-one would notice.

LAUGHTER

Not much. Shut up. Next...

BIG BEN CHIME

..royal news.

The Queen's only daughter has announced

that she's purchased a mobile home

and will be moving out of the palace.

The princess has acquired a model with its own toilet,

so she can have a royal flush.

What's the headline? BUZZ

-Carolynne again.

-Princess Anne in a caravan.

Oh, let's have a look.

Princess Anne has a caravan.

And next tonight...

BIG BEN CHIME Booyaka!

TV news. The former star of Gavin & Stacey has announced

he's quitting as presenter of the Late Late Show in America.

Instead, he'll be working in uniform, walking the streets

and putting tickets on badly parked cars.

"It's more like Car Fool Karaoke," he laughed.

What's the headline? BUZZ

Carolynne, what's the headline?

James Corden becomes a traffic warden.

Let's have a look, see if you're right.

# Lovely Rita, meter maid... #

Just the ticket.

James Corden is a traffic warden.

And finally - bong - pop news! BIG BEN CHIME

The multi award-winning singer of Rolling In The Deep

is quitting music to open a two-star guesthouse

in her native Tottenham. In a statement, she said,

"Hello, all I ask is that someone like you books a room."

What's the headline? BUZZ

-Carolynne?

-Adele opens a hotel.

-Oh, let's have a look.

# Hello from the other side... #

Less R&B and more B&B.

Adele has opened a hotel.

And that is all for tonight's News At Len.

APPLAUSE

And now, one last crucial piece of news -

the scores and who's going on to the final round to play for a holiday.

# Let's fly away, drive away

# Take a holiday

# We can go to the club or hide away

# We can do what you want to, baby. #

Craig, I thought you did great, but you've ended with 7.

-Ah.

-Ah, it's respectable.

It's still good, it's still good.

-Carolynne, you have 17.

-Yes!

APPLAUSE

Well, Craig, for you and your friends, the game's at an end.

But there's no need to be sad, there's a prize to be had.

Something even more desirable than Ore.

You get your very own pen from Len.

APPLAUSE

-Look at that.

-Thank you. Hey, that's amazing.

-We'll just put it there.

-That's what I came for.

-That is what I came for.

-Yes

You did great, you and your team. I think you did sterling work.

-Come on, guys, you're ace.

-You're still a team.

-That's what I love.

-Yes.

-Thank you.

-And you've got the pen.

-Yeah, it's brilliant. Woo!

Well done, guys, thank you.

Carolynne, congratulations on making it through to our final round.

Come and join me in the middle for our final riddle.

It's Rhyme Against Time.

APPLAUSE

Well, your partners have taken you this far,

but here's where you have to go it alone.

If you can rhyme against time, you'll be jetting off

to see the biggest fruit in the world -

the Big Apple, New York.

APPLAUSE

On the screen, you'll see a clock, split into six segments.

Each segment contains a three-part rhyme,

like Len with a hen on Big Ben.

You must solve all six segments to win.

If you get stuck, you can move on,

but you must complete all six in the time.

Six on the board and you're going abroad.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-OK, let's play Rhyme Against Time.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Mrs Brown in a...wearing a crown.

Um, playing rugby.

No, Mrs Brown, wearing a crown, in a scrum.

-American football.

-Oh, um...

What do they call it when they get over the line?

-Oh, er, pass, move on, move on.

-Move on.

-Oh, Camilla.

-Camilla.

-With a spade.

-No, Camilla... What's her surname?

-Oh, Cornwall?

-No, no, Camilla Parker...

Bowles, with a spade...

-No, she's not with a spade...

-Digging a hole.

-With?

-A mole.

-Yeah, move on.

-Ricky Gervais.

-Yeah, Ricky Gervais.

Gervais, sack race.

Sack race.

-Falls on...

-Fall on his face.

-Yes, good, move on.

-Kate Moss.

-Yeah.

Kate Moss...

Er...

Oh...putting lipstick...

-No.

-Gloss, lip gloss.

-On?

-On...

-What's the bird?

-A...

-Big seagull.

-Albatross.

-Yes! Next one.

-Dolly Parton.

-Yeah.

-In a tartan.

-Yeah.

-Drinking out of a carton.

-Yeah. Go on! Next one.

-Mole.

-No.

-No, rat. Blind mice.

-Three blind mice.

-Three blind mice.

-On?

-On ice.

-Playing...

-With dice. Playing dice.

-Yes! Back to the other one.

BUZZER Out of time.

-Touchdown.

-Touchdown, oh!

Ah, ah.

That was the one thing that I kept forgetting.

-Oh, I'm sorry you didn't quite do it.

-Oh, thank you.

But you still leave with a smile on your face

and you get your own pen from Len.

-Oh.

-APPLAUSE

The pen comes... Look.

-Thank you so much.

-Where you going to stick it?

-LAUGHTER

-In the bathroom.

Oh, don't! You better put a blindfold on me. I don't...

Well, that's it for Partners In Rhyme for today.

-A big thank you to Nina...

-Thank you!

..Gareth, Vikki and Ore. Thank you so much.

We'll see you soon, and remember,

if you've got the time, Len's got the rhyme.

Goodnight.

There's been rhymes from the start of time

Get a word or a name, one that sounds the same

Poems, sonnets, limericks, verses

Rhymes in love and rhymes in curses

I've been rapping since a very young man

But that was Cockney rhyming slang

This is the end We're all out of time

You've had a good game You've had a good rhyme

Join us again for more larks and mishap

That's the end for tonight and that's a wrap.