Episode 11 Letterbox

This is the Letterbox.

Nestled within its high-security galvanised trunking

is £2,500 in prize money.

Anyone, yes, anyone can have that cash,

as long as they can crack an eight-letter password

that holds the moolah safe.

It's time to play Letterbox.

Hello, and welcome to Letterbox,

the show that's all about cracking passwords.

Let's meet our first two pairs

hoping to get their hands on the cash,

Jess and Zoe!

APPLAUSE Hello, Jess and Zoe!

-Hello! Oh, you look lovely!

-Oh, thanks, you too!

Thanks very much! Are you two sisters?

-Um, sister-in-law.

-Sisters-in-law?

Sisters-in-law, our boyfriends are brothers.

Your boyfriends are brothers?

Yes. So you...

Hang on, this is good.

If you get married to them, you'll only have the one mother-in-law?

-Yes!

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She'll be outnumbered by the two of you.

That's quite good, isn't it?

That is good, I never thought of it like that.

Yeah! Let's meet your competitors, and they are Martin and Ruth.

Martin, Ruth, hello, lovely to see you.

-APPLAUSE

-Hello.

-Hello!

-Are you married?

-Yes.

Yes we are, indeed.

How did you actually meet?

She chatted me up in a bar.

-Oh, really?

-It was a bar.

Was it a bar? Or was it something...

What it is is a bowling club.

Are we talking tenpin?

-It is.

-We are, indeed.

-Tenpin bowling alleys are really noisy,

so how did you chat, or was it just love at first sight?

And then miming...

Our eyes across the lanes.

-Was it?

-Absolutely.

-Well, listen, it's lovely that you're all here,

thank you so much. Now, Martin and Ruth,

who's going to be playing first?

-I am.

-Martin's going to go first.

-OK, and Jess and Zoe?

-Jess.

Jess, OK, my loves.

So take your positions, and let's play!

APPLAUSE

OK, Martin, Jess, here is your first password, have a look.

So we're looking for a five-letter word, OK?

We always give you a little hint to help you along the way,

so your hint for this word is...

It's a song title, yeah?

How are you on '80s?

-How are you on noughties?

-Uh...

OK. Let's see...

Let's see how we get on.

Now we tossed a coin backstage, of course, and Martin,

-you're going to go first, aren't you?

-I am.

So can I have your first letter, please?

-I'll have an E.

-An E, Martin?

Let's have a look.

Very good first choice, Martin.

What would you like now?

I'll take a guess at an O.

An O? Right, let's have a little look.

Have we got an O?

No! Jess, what'll you have?

OK... Um, I'm going to go for an L.

-An L?

-Please, Mel, yeah.

-Right, let's have a little look.

Have we got an L in there?

No! Martin, straight back to you.

-What do you think?

-Let's try... Let's try an S.

S? Let's have a look.

No!

Bad luck, Martin. Jess, what are you thinking?

-I'll go for an A.

-A? You're going to go for an A.

OK, let's have a look, see if we've got an A.

We certainly do!

That's, uh, opened things up a bit.

Still with you, Jess, what are you going to go for?

I will go for...

-M.

-M?

-Yeah, M.

Have we got an M in that song?

Let's have a look.

No! Martin?

We'll take a punt on an X.

Oh! Let's go for an X, let's have a look.

No! Jess?

OK, I am going to go for...

What are you thinking?

-..R.

-R?

-R!

-R, arr!

Let's see if there's an R in there somewhere.

Oh! Well done, Jess.

I feel like everyone knows this, apart from us!

-Um...

-I think Zoe might know it.

Oh? Going to go for an N.

Let's have a look.

N, no!

No, Martin, what's it going to be now?

We'll try a D.

-A D?

-A D.

A D, OK!

Let's have a little look.

No! Whoa, Jess!

Come on!

Come on now, come on.

H!

-H?

-H, baby, H!

OK, let's go for an H.

Oh!

-Oh!

-OK, and what's your last letter going to be?

-B!

-B, have we got a B up there?

We most certainly do!

APPLAUSE

Well done, Jess!

I could sense you were possibly going for the Relax route.

-Frankie, Relax?

-I was, indeed.

-Well, Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

-Frankie Goes to Hollywood, yeah.

Well done, Jess, that was terrific!

Zoe had it, didn't she?

-Did she?

-I had it in my head for ages!

Yeah, she did. Uh, listen, you've cracked that first password,

which was, of course, Rehab.

And as you know, there are 26 letters in the alphabet,

they're all here hidden in our groovy letterbox.

-OK.

-The eight red ones spell out the final password

that will unlock the box,

that leaves 18 mystery letters for you two to choose from.

So as a reward for cracking that first password,

choose a couple of letters, my love.

-OK...

-They will help you later on.

-I'll just reach in, yep.

-There we go!

There we go. No, that's fine, lovely.

Now, Jess, of course, you've got those two letters,

so you know those two letters are not going to feature

in that final password. Good, it's time to play password two.

APPLAUSE

OK, now, Ruth, you need to get this password, OK?

No pressure at all!

OK, good luck, here is the second password.

Oh, right.

Ten letters, and we'll give you a little, a little hint.

It's a country. OK, Ruth, your team went first last time...

-We did.

-OK, so Zoe, it's your turn to go first.

Can I have your first letter, please?

I'm going to go for an A.

A? Good, solid choice, let's see if there's an A.

Three! Three As, well done!

Still with you, my love, what are you going to go for?

-Um... N.

-N?

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na!

I just like saying that, it's a nice letter, it's good,

works well with the mouth. N. Let's see if we've got an N.

Oh!

Does that help you at all, Zoe?

What are you going to go for now?

-S.

-S?

Do you know what it is, Zoe?

I don't know, because I don't know how to spell it.

OK, so we'll go, we'll go for an S.

Oh, well done, well done!

-Still with you, Zoe.

-T.

T? OK, go for it.

Have we got it, yes, we do.

That's going to help you quite a lot.

Um, yeah, a K.

A K.

Oh, well done, well done, what are you going to go for next?

-A Z.

-A Z.

OK.

We certainly do.

I don't know the last letter.

Um...

E.

E.

Is it an E?

No.

Zoe, you did so well.

-I didn't get it.

-You did so well, we have to hand over to Ruth.

Ruth, what is that last pesky letter?

If I get this wrong...

I.

I?

Let's see if we've got an I.

-No!

-Oh!

-Ruth, she needs support, come on, love.

-Emotional...

-It's all, I'm just going to stroke you like...

-I know.

-All right, love, now, Zoe?

Um... A B.

A B? Right, let's see if it's a B.

No, not B.

That would be quite an amazing sounding country, though,

-Kazakbstan.

-I thought Bs were sometimes silent.

I don't think the B is silent there.

Who, look, listen, who knows!

Ruth.

-U.

-U.

Let's see if it's U.

-Oh!

-It's not Kazakustan.

Which, I mean, which letter are we going to go for now, Zoe?

-I don't know!

-Which letter?

-I think I'm going to go for an H.

You're going to go for an H? Let's have a look...

-Yay!

-Yes!

APPLAUSE

Oh! Lads...

That, we all went through the mill there, didn't we?

Honestly, I can honestly say, hand on heart,

I didn't know the spelling towards the end.

I mean, it's a tough word to spell, we had Kazakistan, Kazakestan,

Kazakbstan, Kazakustan...

-Finally we got there.

-So congratulations, Zoe and Jess.

-Thank you.

-Well done. You've cracked the second password,

which is Kazakhstan,

I don't think any of us will now forget how that's spelled.

-It's down for time immemorial.

-It really, really is.

-Yeah.

-By cracking two passwords, of course,

you're through to the semifinal, which is very, very good news,

congratulations!

APPLAUSE

Now, you know the drill, guys.

Once again, for cracking the password,

you get to choose two letters from the Letterbox.

So, go for it! Pick some good ones.

Oh! Nice, and another one.

There we go.

Any silent Bs in there, Zoe?

-Maybe.

-That would be telling.

-Possibly.

-Um, silent B, I love the silent B.

Now, Martin and Ruth, I feel we've been through so much together.

-We have indeed.

-It was a short time, but, boy, was it intense!

-I know.

-Thank you so much for playing.

-You're welcome.

-Thank you so much. Thank you very much for your time.

APPLAUSE

Now, Jess and Zoe, you've now got four little letters,

which you know are not involved in the final password,

which is good news.

Keep those letters safe and we'll see you in the semifinal!

-Cool.

-Neat.

-Brilliant! Now it's time to meet our next contestants

in heat two.

APPLAUSE

Hello, and welcome to Jamie and Danny.

-Hello.

-Hello!

-Come on, lovely to see you guys.

Yeah, really good to see you.

How do you two know each other, Jamie?

We're married.

We're brothers.

-Brothers...

-We're brothers, yeah, I have to get on a stepladder

to give him a cuddle, though, don't I?

Now, I, I notice, talking to you...

-Yeah?

-Danny, you sound like you're from...

-Up north.

-Up north, Jamie, you've got,

there's a little bit of the old...

-Yeah, Dagenham Essex.

-Isn't it?

-Yeah.

Now how does that, how does that work? Because you both live...

Well, we used to live in Dagenham, and then we moved with family,

with our mum up to Manchester,

so I've got the accent, because I was too young.

But Jamie's really, you've held on to Dagenham.

Yeah, well, I don't know, maybe the girls like a bit of Ray Winstone

-or something like that.

-Such a smooth...

I moved up here as a teenager,

so you've got to be a smooth as possible, i'nt you?

-Street cred, innit?

-So you play a little bit of the old Dagenham charm.

I try, I try, but I go to bed at ten o'clock, so...

Same here!

Jim jams and cocoa, nine o'clock.

Superman pyjamas.

Oh, have you got Superman?

Yeah. Lovely. I've got, I've got a sort of winceyette...

I can't believe I'm telling you what I wear in bed, Jamie,

I've literally just, I've just met you.

-This is what the accent does, I'm telling you.

-I know, it's working!

-It's the Dagenham charm.

-Can't help it.

Now you obviously want to know who you're up against,

you are up against today the lovely Jenn and Feliciana.

APPLAUSE

Jenn and Feliciana, so nice to see you.

Now listen, we've gone straight to brass tacks on the show,

what do you like to wear in bed?

-Jenn?

-Um...

Just, you know, we're open, we're free.

I just like to wear shorts and a vest top.

Shorts and a vest top? Feliciana?

I'm all about the onesie.

Oh, too hot!

Too hot, with the whole...

It's when you go to the toilet and then it's just like the whole thing,

-the unzipping, it's just...

-Yeah, but it's comfortable.

Danny, I didn't ask you, what do you like to wear in bed?

Nothing.

Well, let's, uh, change the stakes.

I can't look you in the eye any more, Danny.

Now listen, back to the game.

Now Jamie and Danny, who's going to be playing first?

-Me.

-Jamie.

-He's playing first.

-Jamie's first.

OK, Jenn and Feliciana, who's going to be playing first?

-Me.

-Feliciana. So please take your positions, let's play!

APPLAUSE

Here is your first password.

Have a look at this, oh, six-letter word.

We'll give you a little hint to help you along the way.

It's a fictional character.

Six letters, Jamie, you're going to go first.

-Yeah.

-So please, can I have your first letter?

I'd like to start with a D, please.

A D.

No D. Feliciana, how about you?

I'd like to start with an A, please.

A? Straight in with the A, let's have a look.

Have we got an A there?

No! Back to you, Jamie.

-E.

-E?

Let's see if we've got a little E.

No, Feliciana?

-I.

-I?

Let's try an I.

Yes, we do!

-L for Lima?

-L for Lima.

Oh!

Well done, Feliciana.

-Still with you.

-S?

S. S for sugar?

Yeah. Or Sierra?

Let's have a look.

No S! Right, Jamie, back with you, what do you think?

-M.

-M.

Yeah. Let's see if we've got an M in there.

-OK!

-I've, I've got to say, I'm a little bit shocked,

that was a shot in the dark.

OK. Still with you, Jamie.

-O.

-O.

Let's see if we've got an O.

Oh, I thought it was muesli, muesli!

But that's clearly not a fictional character at all.

-W.

-W?

Ah, yes, let's have a look.

Well done, and your last letter choice?

-G.

-G, you're going to go for a G?

Mowgli!

APPLAUSE

-Jamie...

-Thank you very much!

Feliciana, don't you worry, there's still everything to play for.

Listen, Jamie, you've cracked the old first password, which is Mowgli,

well done. And as you know,

you get to choose two letters from the Letterbox, so, please.

Second row, third.

-This one?

-Yeah.

Good. Demanding, isn't he?

-Very demanding.

-Uh, now what's your second letter choice going to be?

-That one.

-That one here?

-Yeah.

-Got it?

-Yeah.

-Really it, now they're important, those letters,

because they are not featured in the final password, OK,

which unlocks the Letterbox.

So, Jamie and Danny have the advantage, but don't worry,

it's best-of-three. It's time to play password two!

APPLAUSE

Danny and Jenn, good luck!

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Here's your second password.

Let's have a look.

Six-letter word, and the hint for this word is...

Sport. Right, Jenn, it's your turn to go first, OK?

-All right.

-So can I have your first letter, please?

I'm going to start with an A.

-A?

-Yeah.

-Good place to start, let's have a little look.

No!

-Danny?

-I will go for a B, please.

-A B?

-A B.

No!

R.

R. Good choice, I like R, let's have a look, have we got an R?

No R in this Sport, Danny?

-T, please.

-A T?

-T.

T, no T.

-Jenn?

-E.

-There's got to be some kind of vowel, hasn't there?

Let's have a look.

Yes, well done!

-N?

-N, let's have a little look.

No, no N, sadly.

-Danny?

-I would like to go with a C, please.

A C? Right, let's have a look.

Oh, well done, right.

Can I go for an I, please?

Let's see if we've got an I in there.

No I! This is your chance to get back in there,

what are you thinking?

Can I go with a G?

-A G?

-Yes.

-Let's see if there's a G.

No, Danny?

A D, please.

-A D?

-D.

-You certainly may, D?

No!

Jenn?

Can I go for a Y?

A Y? You certainly may, let's have a look.

We certainly do.

Now that's going to give you a bit of a clue.

-V?

-V.

Vortex?

Let's see if we've got a V.

V... No!

No, I think I know what it is.

-Danny?

-I'm fairly confident, but it's between two words.

So can I go for an O, please?

O? Let's have a little look.

Oh, yes, OK.

Can I have a K, please?

A K.

-Yes, we do!

-No Ms, uh...

And I'll have a H, please.

H?

Well done! The brothers!

APPLAUSE

Oh, girls, listen! Danny, Jamie, you've cracked two passwords,

which means you are sailing into the semifinal.

Huge congrats, Danny.

-Thank you.

-Very, very good.

Uh, partners, come and join, come on!

Come on!

APPLAUSE

Listen, well done, guys!

-I've not let him down.

-Very, you're very cool and very calm.

Now listen, once again, as a reward for cracking the password,

you get to choose, um, two of these mystery letters, OK?

Remember, stay away from the red ones.

Would I be able to have second in from the back, please?

Second end from the back, yes.

I'll have this one.

Well done, Danny, so those are your four letters.

Now Jenn and Feliciana, this is bad news, I can't believe this.

-Oh, I know.

-It's the end of the road on Letterbox!

But listen, you've been brilliant, thank you so much for coming.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Hope you've had a good time, lovely!

APPLAUSE

Uh, now, guys,

you've got four letters now that you know

are not going to feature in this final password, OK?

-Yup.

-Hang onto them, because it's time for you, my friends,

to play the semifinal.

APPLAUSE

Jess and Zoe,

Jamie and Danny, welcome to the semifinal!

Now Jess and Zoe, I've asked this of everyone today...

What do you like to... What do you like to wear in bed, Jess?

Go on, Jess!

Stripy pyjamas?

Yes, stripy pyjamas!

Nightshirt with a little, uh...

-Yep!

-Little cap?

-Little cap, yeah!

Zoe? Oh I'm thinking a baby doll, possibly a little 1970s?

-Yeah, with some socks.

-Socks?

Socks in bed are very good, aren't they?

-Woolly socks...

-No, they're really not.

-Too hot.

-Too hot, a little bit too hot.

Listen, enough of that.

In this semifinal, there's just one password to crack,

and it's the name of a famous person,

and they can be alive or dead, OK?

The team that cracks the password will go through to the final

and play for the money. Let's play!

APPLAUSE

Here is the semifinal password, have a look at this.

OK, we've got a four-letter word, followed by a seven-letter word.

Jess and Zoe, you won the toss, so you get to go first.

Can I have your first letter, please?

Go for an E.

-An E?

-Yeah.

-Have we got a little E in that, in that person?

No! Over to the boys.

Leave them to it, yeah?

We'll, we'll go with B, please.

-A B?

-A B, please, yeah.

-Yeah?

B, no B, either.

Jess and Zoe, what are you thinking?

OK, A, please.

A?

Oh, two As!

Two As in the surname there, girls.

-What's your next letter going to be?

-We'll go for a T.

A T.

No! No Ts.

Can we have a C, please?

A C, OK, let's have a look.

Ooh.

Interesting.

Can we go for an M, please?

-M?

-M, yeah.

M, milestone, let's have a look.

Yep.

Yes, well done.

Is something appearing to you through the mists of this?

-Not quite yet...

-Oh, hello, hello, something's going on.

-Girls?

-It can't be...

-You pick one.

-N.

N. Let's see if we've got an N.

Yes! Oh, hello sailor!

Someone's got it.

OK, can we have an H, please?

H, Yep!

Can we have a U, please?

A U? Let's, yes, well done.

-Hang on.

-Next letter, please.

Can we have a G, please?

A G.

-There we go!

-Deep breath.

Can we have a K, please?

A K!

-Good!

-And finally, can we have a J?

A J.

APPLAUSE

There he is!

Hugh Jackman!

-Yes!

-I was on edge, I was on edge the whole time,

I thought it was spelling issues.

Listen, Jamie and Danny, congratulations.

You have cracked the semifinal password.

Thank you. Thank you. And that means you're going through to the final!

-Yay!

-Well done!

APPLAUSE

Oh, Jess and Zoe...

-We had it as well!

-Oh, did you have Hugh Jackman?

-Yeah, yeah.

-I mean on the board?

-Yes.

-Yes, good.

Listen, um, it's been so lovely having you on the show.

Thank you very, very much for coming,

I'm sorry this is the end of the road.

But it's been delightful having you on.

Please, actually, can you hand over your letters to Jamie and Danny?

They'll put them to good use in the final.

-Thank you.

-Thanks a lot.

There we go, and Jess and Zoe, thank you very much for playing.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Which means, Jamie and Danny, you've got eight letters altogether,

which will help you when you crack the final password.

So it's time to unlock the Letterbox!

APPLAUSE

Well, Jamie and Danny, the brothers,

you've done brilliantly to get through to the final.

Just one final password

stands between you and the £2,500 housed inside the Letterbox.

And here it is, have a look.

So we're looking for an eight letter password with no repeat letters, OK?

It can be any word, there's no hint at all.

But what you do have are, obviously,

the eight letters that you've chosen,

which you know are not going to be in the final password,

so they will help you, OK?

Let's look at what we can get rid of first.

-Cheers, Jamie.

-There you go.

-Lovely.

So we know there will be no O.

No U.

No Z.

No T.

No J.

No L.

No P.

No B.

-OK, gang.

-OK.

So the good news is, you've eliminated those letters

from the final password, which is going to be a big help to you.

-Yeah, massive.

-So the bad news is, I'm afraid, lads,

every time you make a mistake,

£500 will drain away from the £2,500 stash.

Now, Jamie, Danny, very good luck with this.

Let's unlock the Letterbox!

-OK.

-What do you want to go with?

Remaining vowels, maybe.

-A?

-Can we go for an A, please?

-You're going to go for an A?

-Yes, please.

-OK.

-Yes!

-OK.

Third letter in, well done.

What's next?

C-H at the beginning, I suppose? No?

-No...

-An S, we've not got a T or anything.

-I.

-Can we go for an I, please?

I? Yeah. Let's see if there's an I in this final password.

Have we got an I?

We certainly do, well done, £2,500 is still very much there.

Can we go for an N, and a...

-What are you thinking?

-An N next to the I?

Just to finish it, finish the word, kind of thing.

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Can we have an N, please?

-An N?

-Please.

N for noodly-noodly.

Let's have a look.

Doesn't even exist as a word.

-No, it doesn't.

-No. Oh, well done, that paid off well!

I reckon probably, probably a G at the end now.

It's either a G or an S.

You've still got all the money, what are you thinking?

Definitely see a G at the end?

-G, yeah.

-You're going to go for G?

Can I go for a G, please?

OK, let's see if there's a G in this final password.

Yes! Oh, well done, guys.

-Two left.

-Can we go for an R, please?

-R?

-An R.

-Yeah.

R... Well done, lads!

-Ooh...

-Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

-Hang on.

-Take your time, take your time.

What could be between the R and the I?

£2,500 still up for grabs.

-M.

-An M?

-Yeah.

-Could we go for an M, please?

-An M?

-M.

Let's have a little look, have we got an M?

-We certainly do!

-Can we...

We think... We think we know it is.

-I got a little excited.

-Can we have a C, please?

Yep, let's see if there's a C...

-There is!

-Before, before we continue, I just like to say

you've been beautiful, and thank you for the memories.

Aww. And everyone in the, you know...

Aww, Jamie!

-Lovely.

-Could we finally choose an H, please?

An H?

Can I give you a hug?

Have we got an H? I hope we do, they're already celebrating.

Yay!

APPLAUSE

Guys! Look!

-Here it comes!

-Can I give you a hug as well?

Oh, of course you may!

Oh! Guys, that was...

-I'm so happy!

-..absolutely super, look!

-We've won, old boy!

-Look at this,

I'm actually salivating with the excitement of it!

You've got £2,500 of the realm!

Thank you so much!

-Well done!

-Thank you very much. That's very charming of you.

What a great word, Jamie!

It's my new favourite word.

It's chic, yeah, charming!

No, I was being a creep, really, it's not charming.

The Dagenham charm.

Listen, thank you so much for playing, Jamie and Danny.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

I can't believe it.

You old charmer.

And just to double check that we've got the letters right,

there's a C, H, A, R, M, I, N, G,

to spell charming.

-Charming.

-Very strong.

Well, will anyone else have what it takes to unlock the Letterbox

and win the money? Join me next time for more heavyweight Letterboxing.

Cheerio, bye!

APPLAUSE