Software Engineers v Heath Family Only Connect

Questions, questions.

But enough about the format. Let's meet the teams.

On my right, Kip Heath,

a qualified Girl Guide leader

who enjoys science fiction conventions

and visiting London tourist attractions,

Heather Heath, an optometrist

who is a member of the local book club

that loathes science fiction,

and their captain, Alan Heath -

an economics graduate who enjoys family holidays

and was once mugged by an old lady in Greece.

United by a love of each other, they are the Heath Family.

Alan, you beat The Exhibitionists in your first heat,

then lost to the Europhiles.

How's the family unity holding up?

Well, it was fine after the first game.

Since then, my wife's given me the name of a divorce lawyer,

and my daughter, the name of an adoption agency.

That was going to be one of the Round Two questions -

scratch that,

scratch the divorce-adoption question.

Good luck, I hope it goes well for you tonight.

You are facing, on my left, Stephen McIntosh,

a computer sciences graduate and software developer

who's designed a smartphone game called Describability,

Anne Harrison, an engineer who is an enthusiastic woodworker,

quilter, ballroom dancer and bead weaver,

and their captain, Chris Howlett -

a software engineer with a talent for geocaching

and playing the euphonium,

who once built a snowman with a Fields Medallist in Maths.

United by a competence for computing,

they are the Software Engineers.

So, Chris, your team lost to the Welsh Learners,

but then you beat the Erstwhile Athletes.

Have you been preparing for this encounter?

Well, on the evidence of those two matches,

we've prepared by eating a lot of gummy sweets before the show.

Excellent - well, I hope those stand you in good stead.

Obviously, because you've both won a game and lost a game,

the result of tonight will be

that the winners are through to the semifinal

and the losers are going home.

Heath Family, you won the toss, so you'll go first.

Please choose a hieroglyph.

-Lion, please.

-Lion.

I simply want to know what is the connection

between four apparently random clues.

Here's the first.

The Devil's Tune.

Devil's Tune - do you know?

Need more? Next.

The Devil You Know.

That's a song, it's a saying...

It's a Kansas song. That's another one.

Next?

The Clematis Tree.

-I think they're books.

-Books?

I think they're books by somebody.

-OK...

-Who?

-I don't know.

Have to go for this, go for this one.

-Another one?

-Yeah.

-Next?

Seventy-Two Virgins...

Is that what you get in...?

No - what you get in heaven if you're a...Muslim?

-No.

-Three seconds.

BELL

What you find in Heaven.

The devil? Twice? Two devils?

Clematis tree might be rather nice,

and, uh, virgins - I can imagine it's some people's taste, but...

No devils in Heaven, I think. So no points there.

Software Engineers, there's a bonus chance.

Are they all novels by the same author?

They're not, and if they were, frankly,

I couldn't accept that answer,

cos I'd want to know who.

They are novels, I think you knew that.

The Devil's Tune is a novel

by Iain Duncan Smith.

The Devil You Know is a novel

by Louise Bagshawe, subsequently became Louise Mensch.

MPs.

They're novels by Tory MPs.

The Clematis Tree, a novel by Ann Widdecombe,

with a subplot about...?

Parliament?

Euthanasia - everyone's favourite jolly novel topic.

And Seventy-Two Virgins - knowing they're all Tory MPs,

want to guess who wrote that?

Michael Portillo.

CHRIS LAUGHS

-SIGHING:

-Sadly, it wasn't lovely Michael Portillo.

Boris Johnson wrote Seventy-Two Virgins.

Software Engineers, no bonus point, but you may choose a question.

-Horned Viper.

-Horned Viper.

These will be picture clues.

Something connects them all -

what is it?

Your time starts now.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

Sure? Don't know who it is?

Next?

It's a European city of some kind.

Is that...? It's not Helsinki, or...

Scandinavia. Sorry?

It's not Helsinki, or...?

-I've no idea. Carry on?

-Yeah.

Next.

That is Blind Bartimaeus.

They all are names of apostles.

-All named after apostles?

-Possibly.

OK.

-But I don't know.

-Next.

You'll have to guess it.

BELL

They all have the name of apostles.

They do not all have the name of apostles.

There's a bonus chance for you, Heath Family.

-Um...they all made up stories.

-No.

-Now, what if I tell you were looking at...?

-Syndromes.

-Sorry?

-They're syndromes.

-They are syndromes.

-Is that Baron Munchausen?

It is, at the end.

Stendhal in the first one.

-What's Stendhal syndrome? Any of you know?

-No.

It's something you suffer

when you're exposed to too much beauty.

SOMEONE SNORTS WITH LAUGHTER

You're overcome by beauty.

It's a problem when they visit the BBC studios,

here at Cardiff Docks.

Just overcome by the beauty of the place.

Stockholm syndrome, I think people know that,

about empathising with your captors,

and who's that in the third picture?

Diogenes.

Diogenes syndrome is apparently something that involves

social withdrawal and the hoarding of garbage.

I didn't know that was a syndrome, I thought that was just normal.

And Munchausen at the end.

All gave their name to syndromes.

So, no points yet, but Heath Family, you may now choose a question.

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

BELL RINGS

Ah - it's the Musical Sound question.

You'll shout "next" when you want to hear the next clue.

The first one is coming in...now.

MALE SINGER: # When we collide, we come together... #

It's, um... I think it's The Killers,

but I'm really not good at this sort of music.

-Go for more?

-We need another one.

-No...

-Next?

MALE SINGER: # I heard there was a secret chord... #

-Hallelujah.

-Which version?

-Hang on.

# ..pleased the Lord

# But you don't really care... #

-Is it Jeff Buckley?

-Don't know.

Next.

RECORD CRACKLES

Next - anyone else...?

-We've got to go for next.

-Next.

MUSIC - INTRO TO "Killing In The Name" by Rage Against The Machine

Go.

BELL

They all last four minutes and 33 seconds.

They do not all last four minutes and 33 seconds.

There's a bonus chance for you, Software Engineers.

We think the second one was Hallelujah,

the Leonard Cohen song, but not by Leonard Cohen.

Think it was the Jeff Bridges version.

Oh - I'd love to hear the Jeff Bridges version,

-but that was Jeff Buckley.

-Jeff Buckley's what you meant.

-Yes.

-Jeff Bridges is that actor.

I don't have a link.

That is quite key.

These were all pieces of music that were released

to scupper X Factor singles for the Christmas number one,

sort of protest songs.

And yes, you recognised the 4'33".

Cos the year before,

there had been a Rage Against The Machine competition,

so they went with Cage Against The Machine.

Software Engineers, your turn to choose a question.

-Twisted Flax, please.

-Twisted Flax.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

That's a game on I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.

-Is it really?

-Yes.

-Go for it.

It could be...

Next.

-Yes, it is.

-Go for it.

BELL

They're all games on I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.

They are all games on I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.

You didn't need to see Uxbridge English Dictionary

and Mornington Crescent.

Well done, Software Engineers.

Coming in after two clues, you get three points.

Back to you, Heath Family,

to choose a question.

-Water.

-Water.

What is the connection

between these clues?

Here's the first.

-OK, we need another one.

-Next.

Mr Bean...

-Rowan Atkinson.

-Didn't he appear

in the...opening ceremony at London 2012?

-Yeah, The Beatles...

-It wasn't The Beatles,

it was Paul McCartney.

-What do you want to do?

-Next.

Gordon Tracy? As in Thunderbirds?

Thunderbird 4...

Four...? What's on Mr Bean's car?

-Sorry?

-What's on Mr Bean's car? It's a Beetle.

-A number four, is it?

-Go next.

-Go next.

-Shall we go four?

Go for it, then.

BELL

They all have number four on their vehicles?

I'm afraid they don't.

I must show the last clue

to the Software Engineers, for a possible bonus point.

They all drive yellow vehicles.

It is yellow vehicles.

Yes, The Beatles "drive",

as it were, a yellow submarine.

Mr Bean has a yellow mini. Thunderbird 4 is yellow.

And what do the Trotters drive?

Reliant Robin, or something.

It's a Reliant Regal, a yellow Reliant Regal.

Software Engineers, last question for you,

Eye of Horus - what's the connection

between these clues?

Here's the first.

That's a solar phenomenon.

-Better get another.

-Yeah. Next, please.

I have no idea was that is.

-What's the first one?

-It's a solar phenomenon,

sun shines down one of the main streets.

I don't know. Next.

They're all fixed periods of time.

They all happen in July.

They must all last...

-Shall I take the next one?

-Better.

-Next.

Clocks change. They happen twice a year?

-Yes.

-Yes.

BELL

They're all events that happen twice a year.

They do indeed. All happen twice a year.

Under FIFA rules, twice a year, you can do football transfers.

Clocks, of course, go forward and back.

The Palio? What's that?

That's the one we didn't know.

ALAN: It's a horse race in Italy.

-Siena.

-A horse race through Siena.

Absolutely right. Manhattanhenge?

The sun shines down

one of Manhattan's main streets.

That's right - the sunset aligns exactly

with the East-West streets in Manhattan, twice a year.

Well done for the points.

At the end of Round One, then, the Heath Family have yet to score,

the Software Engineers have five.

On to Round Two, Sequences.

The teams may see a maximum of three clues.

I want to know what comes fourth.

Heath Family, you'll be going first again.

Which question would you like?

Um...Twisted Flax, please.

Twisted Flax. OK.

What would come next in this sequence?

Here's your first clue.

-Do you know who he is?

-No. Next.

Next.

DI Alec Hardy?

They're characters from TV shows.

-Don't know which one.

-Next.

-Danny from Party Animals.

-Know who that is?

-No.

-No.

-I honestly have no idea. Are we looking at...?

-Um...

-Party Animals?

-Was it a TV Series or was it a film?

-Don't know.

Music? Uh...

Do we have any...?

Are they char... Are they...?

People who have won a BAFTA or something?

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

-Five seconds.

-We don't have any idea.

No, we don't have it.

OUT-OF-TIME BELL

I think it'd be impossible to guess.

Do you know it, Software Engineers, for a bonus?

I might guess Victoria Coren.

I wish the answer was Victoria Coren.

OK. Nicky Hutchinson

was the lead and central character

in that great TV series, Our Friends In The North,

played by Christopher Ecclestone.

DI Alec Hardy is the role taken in Broadchurch by David Tennant.

Yes!

Danny in Party Animals was the first major role on TV for Matt Smith.

We wanted to know what is a role played by...?

-Peter Capaldi.

-Peter Capaldi - for example, Malcolm Tucker.

It's a Doctor Who question, it is

other roles taken by successive Doctors.

I wanted to know something Peter Capaldi's done,

like Malcolm Tucker.

No bonus points, then, for you, Software Engineers,

but you may choose a question.

-Lion, please.

-Lion.

What would be fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

-It's important that it's green.

-Must be.

-You do a double take.

-Think it might be green.

Next.

Round house?

I have no... This is...

-Don't have a clue.

-Next.

(Fast pace...)

Double Take, Round House, Fast Pace.

-Blue?

-Black?

Is it a...? Is it...?

Is it Cockney rhyming slang for something?

I can't... Can't see what the colours would be.

No, that's it, the time is up.

You have a bonus chance now, Heath Family.

-Finish line.

-In blue.

Finish line is not the answer.

Now, I can tell you what these are.

These are stages in the American DEFCON warning system.

DEFCON 4, 3 and 2.

DEFCON 1 is Cocked Pistol in white.

OK, Heath Family, pistol cocked -

what would you like?

We'll try the Eye of Horus, please.

Eye of Horus.

What would be fourth

in this sequence?

Here's the first.

1976, Mark Edmondson - who's Mark Edmondson?

Can't think - it's not tennis, is it?

-No, don't think so.

-Next?

Yannick Noah - it is tennis.

OK - what have they done?

-French Open, he won, wasn't it?

-Uh...

Mark Edmondson was Australian.

-It's going to be 2013, Andy Murray.

-OK.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah, sure.

-Why Andy?

-He was French, won the French Open. He's Australian...

-OK. Go for it.

BELL

2013, Andy Murray.

That's it - coming in after two clues,

you get three points.

2013, Andy Murray. And why is that?

Because these were...tennis players

who won their national championships...

Grand Slam in the Men's Singles.

That's it - they're the last times that home-grown players

have won Grand Slam championships in tennis.

Very well done. Back to you, Engineers, for a choice.

-Water, please.

-Water.

What'd be fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Next.

Oh...sit, dolor...

-It's the Latin...

-It's Lorem ipsum.

Yes, Lorem ipsum...wait. It's Lorem, then.

Lorem ipsum, then sit, dolor...

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

-Are they in reverse order?

-Yeah.

So it'll be Lorem.

Dolor, sit, Lorem...

BELL

Lorem.

You get three points

for coming in after two clues.

The answer is Lorem. And why is that?

It is the placeholder text

for copywriters, in reverse order.

That's exactly right -

when copywriters are a showing a design,

so as not to distract people with the content,

they put a made-up Latin...

I think it's a mangled Cicero quote.

Something like that, yeah.

We're going backwards, so it would go "Lorem ipsum dolor sit."

Going backwards first

would be "Lorem" - well done.

Back to you, Heath Family.

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

These are going to be picture clues.

What sort of thing might you see

in the fourth picture?

Here's the first.

Sprout, is it?

No, they're not sprouts. They're, um...

-They look like figs.

-They're...

-Next. They're...

-Next.

They're the seeds of...

-OK, that's a...

-Cocktail.

-What kind of cocktail?

It's got a cherry in it.

-Sure it's cherry?

-No.

-Um...

-Next?

-Carol Vorderman.

-Carol Vorderman.

-Carol...

-Carol.

-Christmas...

-Is it a word-changing one?

-It's a word changing.

-Five seconds.

-Oh...

-Carol, cocktail...

-I don't know.

-Don't know.

BELL

-Card.

-Card.

-Card?

-Card, yes.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

A bonus chance for the Engineers?

No, sorry.

It's very tricky to spot, really.

We're looking at some capers.

That cocktail is a Manhattan.

And it's Carol Vorderman.

These are the last words in titles of Muppet films.

Yes - The Great Muppet Caper, The Muppets Take Manhattan,

The Muppet Christmas Carol.

Next would be Muppet Treasure Island.

Oh, yes.

OK, Engineers - there's one question left for you, Horned Viper.

What would be fourth

in this sequence?

Here's the first.

A, point A?

The only thing I can think of is Dalmatians.

It could be B: One hundred and two.

C - what was the next movie?

Next?

A billion.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

No. Next?

One...ah!

Are they one followed by that many...?

No, they're not, are they?

One octillion is...

Eight, ten to the...

Three seconds.

BELL

D, one...trillion.

That's not the answer - Heath Family, want to have a go?

D, one googol.

That's not it either.

Now, I heard you wondering why the letters were there.

That's because those are letters that you're looking for.

101 is the first number in which the letter A appears

when it's written out.

One billion is the first example of a letter B,

octillion for C.

I want to know what is the first number in which you'd see a D.

And it would be 100.

-Hm...

-That is the lowest number which contains the letter D.

So after that rather gruesome Round Two,

the Heath Family have three points,

the Software Engineers have eight.

Time now for the Connecting Wall - you probably know how this works by now.

You certainly should, Software Engineers -

you've been here before.

You get the choice this time - Lion or Water?

-Lion, please.

-OK.

You have two-and-a-half minutes to sort these clues

into four connected groups of four, starting...now.

OK, Inquisition, Gyokuro...

Oh, these are ways of saying goodbye.

Bye, cya, ta-ta, ciao.

OK - are they foreign ways of saying anything?

Say ta-ta...

HE MUTTERS

Um, we've...that's it.

Sencha is like Java, it's...

Oh, yes, it's a...

Have we got...?

Have we got plots here?

The Gunpowder Plot, the Babington Plot,

um...I don't know about any others.

Any three of these, any two of these three?

Hyson, does Hyson mean anything to you?

It's...nothing ringing a bell.

Say those three and...

Sorry - you...I'll follow. OK.

Bye, fly, flea...

Main.

Should we try those together

just as four short words?

May have something in between them?

Worth a crack. OK.

-No.

-Sadly not.

Uh, Spanish Inquisition... OK.

I wish we had any idea what Chun Mee was.

-Spanish Fly.

-Spanish Inquisition.

-Spanish Main.

-Spanish...

-Gunpowder?

-No...

-Practices?

Spanish practices, Spanish Babington, Spanish Gyokuro...

Spanish Flea?

-Excellent.

-Another three strikes and you're out, now.

-OK.

Um...ba-ba-ba...

We can't have plots left, now, can we?

-I think...

-Anagrams? Miss a letter out, add a letter?

OK, Bye is a Turkish ruin.

It must include... No, it doesn't, sorry.

Imain... Are they foreign rulers?

We've got Bye... Oh, that's Imam.

-Yeah.

-Um...

Is it Dyson?

Change one letter and you get an inventor.

Try these four - we're running low on time,

might as well use our lives.

Yeah, we might...

BUZZ No.

-Two left. Um...

-Main, Gunpowder and Sencha?

Yeah.

-BUZZ No.

-Ten seconds, now.

Perhaps even Hyson - they're all surnames.

-Shall we go for the last life on that?

-Might as well.

That's it. You've used up your lives and the wall has frozen.

You've found two groups and that's two points.

There are bonus points for telling me what are the connections.

Ta-ta, Cya - or see ya - Ciao, Vale.

They're ways of saying goodbye.

That's right - it would actually be Val-eh, I suppose, the Latin.

Ways of saying goodbye.

Next one - Inquisition, Practices, Flea, Fly.

Can all be preceded by Spanish.

They can - you can put Spanish in front of all of them.

There are points available for connections in the groups you didn't find.

Let's resolve the wall.

Bye, Babington, Main, Gunpowder.

They're...plots.

The Bye Plot, obviously, yeah.

They are plots. I'd love to hear something else.

They are plots to remove

heads of state?

You're in the area - I mean, they are plots,

so I'll have to accept it.

They're specifically Catholic plots against the throne.

-OK.

-Sort of the head of state, in a way, against the throne,

but they are Catholic plots against the throne.

What about the next group? Sencha, Gyokoru, Hyson, Chun Mee?

Are they all Pacific islands?

They are not. Close, though.

-They're types of green tea.

-Ah.

So, two points for the groups you found

and three points for connections, that's a total of five.

Time to bring back the Heath Family, give them a Connecting Wall with 16 fresh clues on it

but still only one perfect solution.

The Water Wall is what remains for you, Heath Family.

You have, of course, two-and-a-half minutes to solve it, starting...now.

-OK.

-Brill, Van Dyke...

We've got Dick Van Dyke?

No - I think we have Vermeer, Hals,

-there's another...

-Bosch.

-What are we looking at?

-Try Cuyp.

OK, Vermeer, Van Dyke, Bosch...

-Hals, Hals, definitely.

-Take out Vermeer.

Take out Van Dyke.

No. What are you looking at?

-They're Dutch painters.

-OK.

Steen's probably a painter. I'll carry on with him.

What about...? Seven, lucky number seven.

Sorry. OK.

Number seven. Horseshoe.

Uh...

-What else can be lucky?

-Wishbone.

Wishbone can be lucky.

No. Anchor?

-No.

-Circle, try...

No, OK. So, what...? What else have got?

Have we got homophones?

Circle, uh...

Have we got companies?

Bosch, Flymo...

Oh, yeah. Makes of companies.

-Anchor.

-And...

Try Van Dyke.

Try Brill - Brill pads?

About halfway through the time.

Van Dyke is a beard, isn't it?

Other beards...?

No...

John Steen? Jock Steen?

-Steen - any other?

-Cuyp?

Is he a footballer?

Um...

I'll try Van Dyke.

Shall we go for painters, then?

No.

What else is Vermeer? What does it sound like?

Have we got colours?

There's seven colours in a rainbow.

-Lucky seven.

-Circle.

-Seven, circle...

-Horseshoe.

30 seconds.

Um...

Wishbone, Horseshoe, Number seven and...

Anchor - no.

-What about Jade? Can jade be lucky?

-Try it.

No. OK. Wishbone...

-Ten seconds, now.

-Try Bosch - Bosch, Rainbow,

Flymo and...

Haven't tried Hayter.

That's it. Your time's up. The wall's frozen.

Honestly, the longer you played, the more horrible I realised it was.

That is a very tough one.

You can get points for connections in the groups you didn't find.

Let's resolve the wall.

OK - Brill, Hayter, Flymo, Bosch.

Makes of...um...appliances?

Something more specific?

-Gardening appliances.

-More specific?

Lawn mowers.

They are makers of lawn mowers.

I'd take makers of gardening equipment,

but, yes - lawn mower companies.

What about this? Vermeer, Hals, Steen, Cuyp.

-Dutch painters.

-Those are all 17th century Dutch painters.

I think you were starting to realise there were lots of red herrings.

And the next one -

Circle, Anchor, Van Dyke, Horseshoe.

Are those beards?

Those are the beards.

And the last one - Jade, Wishbone, Number seven, Rainbow.

Things that are lucky.

They are all lucky - I think you knew all the groups.

It was just getting the right clues.

But you do get the maximum connection points of four.

Let's have a look at the scores, going into the final round.

And if those examples didn't put you off the Connecting Wall for life,

why not go to our website, where you can play some or write your own?

We're going to play the Missing Vowels round.

Vowels have been removed from well-known names, phrases or sayings.

I want to know what the disguised clues are.

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

The first group are all...

Don't know this?

It's Voters.

-BELL

-Heath Family.

London.

No?

-BELL

-Too late, I'm afraid.

It's Foucault's Pendulum.

Next clue.

-BELL

-Engineers?

Benny Goodman.

It is - the King of Swing.

Next category...

-BELL

-Engineers?

Calvin Klein and Underwear.

-BELL

-Heath Family.

Coco Chanel and Little Black Dress.

-BELL

-Engineers.

Manolo Blahnik and Shoes.

No? This is...

-BELL

-Too late, I'm afraid.

Louis Vuitton and Luggage.

Next category...

-BELL

-Heath Family.

Bernard Hinault.

-BELL

-Engineers.

Graeme Obree.

-BELL

-Engineers.

-I'm sorry.

-Afraid you lose a point.

-END-OF-ROUND BELL

-Do you know it, Heath Family?

I'll let you answer, if you can.

-No...

-Mark...?

No, this is a tricky one.

It's from The Magic Roundabout -

Mr McHenry.

Lovely Mr McHenry.

But that bell is the end of the quiz.

Looking at the final scores,

the Heath Family are up to ten points,

but the Software Engineers are the winners with 16.

So, Software Engineers, you are through to the semifinals.

Many congratulations.

Heath Family, I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to you, I'm sorry.

You've been a lovely team, you've quizzed very well,

-but goodbye.

-Thank you.

So, for the Software Engineers, it's celebration.

For the Heath Family, it's tragedy.

That's the after-show karaoke sorted out, anyway. Goodbye.