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Hello and welcome to a very special edition of Only Connect,
in which our reigning undefeated champions, the Crossworders,
are going to take on the 2010 winners of University Challenge.
It's a clash of the titans.
Six expert quizzers, all of them so clever that, to be honest,
I might be a little intimidated by them if it weren't for the Heckler & Koch P30 locked breech pistol
I have strapped to my thigh.
Now, I'm very excited about this quiz,
so let's hurry straight on and meet the teams.
On my right, it's the undefeated champions of Only Connect,
Mark Grant, an accountant and native Australian with a degree in criminology and philosophy.
Ian Bayley, an Oxford computing graduate
who now lectures in computer science.
And their captain, David Stainer,
a politics, philosophy and economics graduate
who now works as a solicitor for a leading law firm.
United by their love of all things cryptic, they are the Crossworders.
David, you're familiar faces on Only Connect now.
How are you feeling about your opponents tonight?
Well, having seen them win University Challenge
in very resounding style, nervous.
Well, let's meet them.
On my left, their worthy opponents.
A trio from Emmanuel College, Cambridge.
It's the University Challengers.
Jenny Harris, a French and Latin student,
who sings with a Cambridge choir and runs a poetry website.
Josh Scott, a medical student who's also an accomplished drummer.
And their captain, Alex Guttenplan,
currently studying for a degree in natural sciences,
who enjoys rowing, sailing and playing the violin.
Lovely. Oh, I have to ask you some sort of question, sorry.
Yes, you won University Challenge. Here at Only Connect,
we consider that a bit of light-hearted fun for the kids.
How have you prepared for the mental challenges of this show?
To be honest, I'm not sure how much we've managed to do.
We've been practising the connecting walls on the website
and trying to think of things that are in sequences.
Oh, we have to play the quiz. I'm so sorry.
Yes, on with the quiz.
Now, I've had a look at the questions. I've had a good laugh.
And I think I can safely say, this is about to be the hardest quiz
ever broadcast on British television.
I'm sure it'll be no problem for these guys,
but if you at home manage to get a single question correct,
why not write in and apply to be a contestant on a future series?
Or indeed the presenter.
Now, round one - you will know this, of course, Crossworders, but new to you, University Challengers -
I simply want to know what is the connection between four apparently random clues,
but the fewer clues you need to see before giving me that answer, the more points you'll get.
You won the toss, so you will be first to choose your Egyptian hieroglyph.
I'll go for the Lion, please.
The Lion. OK. These are going to be picture clues.
You will shout next when you're ready to see another one.
And your first one is coming up now.
The flag of Bahrain.
So what's the Hebrew letter?
Could that be a place?
-Qwerty. Things that begin with Qs.
Things that start with Q.
And not a U.
That's it. They start with Q and not a U.
You're looking at Qoph, a letter of the Hebrew alphabet,
Qibla is the direction in which Muslims pray towards Mecca,
that's not the flag of Bahrain, it's the flag of Qatar,
and a Qwerty keyboard. They start with a Q, but no U. Well done.
Crossworders, please choose your own question.
Eye of Horus, please.
First clue coming up now.
-Shall we go...
-Is it in order of foundation?
It's not. Next, please.
Things formed by merger of other things?
Possible. Inland Revenue, Custom and Excise.
-Is HMRC three objects?
It would be three crowns for the Swedish Air Force...
Shall we go next? Next, please.
You sound nervous, but you're completely correct.
They all feature a crown in their logo. So, one point to you.
Back to you then, Challengers, to pick a hieroglyph.
-Twisted Flax, please.
-First clue coming up now.
-The Glass Bead Game.
-Does anyone know what that is? Next.
Is it arranged according to your particular schema?
-Like, the corners? Go again.
That rings a bell. Is it fictional?
Don't know. Next.
Circles. I think, yes.
Nice guess, but not the answer.
Crossworders, do you know it for a bonus?
Luck? Is it an element of chance?
There's an element of luck in it?
The South Korean flag contains parts of the I Ching,
which is a game based on chance.
I'm going to stop you there, Dr Bayley. I like your style.
But I'm afraid a team-mate of yours has already given an answer,
which is elements of chance.
David, you're the team captain. What's your answer?
Now you've put me on the spot.
I think I'd better go for Mark's first answer in fairness.
Involvement of games of chance in all of those things.
It is not about games of chance.
These are all things that are influence by the I Ching.
Hermann Hesse's novel, the Glass Bead Game, influenced by that,
and the choreography of Merce Cunningham.
The logo of the Dharma Initiative and the South Korean flag
both feature trigrams, designs from the I Ching.
So, no points there, but, Crossworders, it's your turn to choose your own question.
Could we have Water, please?
First clue is coming up now.
That's a nickname he was given in a particular battle.
Is that gold? Shall we go next? Next, please.
He was assassinated by his own side.
Stonewall Jackson was killed by his own troops.
OK, yeah. They were all killed by their own troops.
Coming in after three clues, you get two points.
They were all killed by their own troops.
The last one would have been Commander of the Potemkin.
Aurelien's actually a different... Oh, I interrupted you, I apologise.
We all confuse our Aureliuses, with our Aurelians.
We're talking about the one who was killed by his own troops,
as was Stonewall Jackson, in the American Civil War. Anwar Sadat.
And the Commander of the Potemkin. Two points to you.
Back to the University Challengers to pick a question.
-Horned Viper, please.
-That's going to be the sound or music question.
You will be hearing your clues.
Shout next when you want to hear another one.
Your time starts now.
MAN TALKS IN SERBIAN
Something about going into space?
# Go, go Go Johnny, go, go... #
I think this is stuff broadcast into space.
Yeah. Into or from? I think into.
Things that have been broadcast into space?
Give me a little bit more.
I'm going to accept it. They were all put on satellite,
specifically the Voyager satellites, that went out in 1977.
You heard Tsuru No Sugomori and Johnny B Goode.
You would have heard Beethoven's Symphony No 5.
And the second one, a little hello in Serbian.
They were all put on the Golden Record that went out on satellites.
Well done. Crossworders, that leaves the Two Reeds for you.
Your first clue is coming up now.
People who've got nothing? Next.
He was the shoe thrower.
I can't immediately tie them in with Fortis shareholders.
Are they people who've thrown shoes? OK.
-People who've thrown shoes.
-For what reason?
Saboteurs threw their clogs
into machinery to break it.
Muntadar al-Zaidi is the Iraqi journalist
who through a shoe at George W Bush.
Fortis shareholders, I presume,
were so cross by their chief executive that they threw shoes.
I don't know. I'm guessing.
You're quite right. They threw shoes at the chairman.
These people have thrown shoes in protest.
The last one would have been, Nikita Khrushchev, the Russian leader.
He banged his shoe!
If you'd like me to take away the point
because they didn't technically throw shoes,
they just used them in a way shoes are not supposed to be used,
I'll happily throw it over for a bonus.
-He threw it!
When he did that, Harold Macmillan just paused
and said, "Can we have a translation?"
At the end of a prickly round one,
the University Challengers have got three points.
The Crossworders are in the lead with five.
They said it was impossible, but it's about to get harder.
In round two, there are sequences. Still four clues, but this time
the teams may not see the fourth, because I want to know what it is.
University Challengers, your turn to go first again.
-Eye of Horus, please.
-You're about to see the first in a sequence.
What's fourth? Time starts now.
Might be a river. Next.
Some kind of religious thing?
We'll have to go for next. Next.
Some Hindu god, anyway.
-I'm afraid that's not the answer I'm looking for.
So I'm throwing it over to the Crossworders for a possible bonus.
The answer is Buddha. You were completely on the right lines there.
They are Avatars of Vishnu. Successive incarnations.
Next after Krishna was Buddha.
-Crossworders, please choose your own question.
-Horned Viper, please.
First in a sequence coming up. What's fourth? Time starts now.
Then it's Permian.
Then it's... Triassic, I think.
-What about Cambrian?
Cambrian, Ordovician, Silurian,
Devonian, Carboniferous, Permian, Triassic.
Have a look at those two clues.
Think about how the sequence works and give me another answer.
What's it named after?
I'm going to stop you there.
I'm afraid Triassic is not the answer I'm looking for.
I'm going to show the third in the sequence
to the University Challengers.
Is it Triad or something?
I'm not inviting you to have a long chat.
-I'm not going to take that either because I was tough on them
and I'd need to take something exact from you.
These are derivations of geological periods.
And Triassic would be right, but its derivation is Three Strata.
That or three layers was what I wanted to hear.
How the word came to be.
So, no points there. Challengers, please choose a hieroglyph.
-First in a sequence coming up
and I can tell you these are going to be picture clues.
What will be in the fourth picture?
Time starts now.
The old flag of Spain. Not the current one.
So what could the order be?
Right, so Spain...
But the old one, Mexico...Cuba...
Is it flags that have changed recently?
How recently did they change?
Is it the order in which they changed the flag?
I think it may be Spain and then in order of independence from it.
-Because Cuba's not...
What happens next is the question I'm going to ask you.
-Flag of Argentina?
-I'm afraid that's not correct.
Possible bonus for you, Crossworders.
The Stars and Stripes. The American flag.
-That is the correct answer. Can you tell me why?
It's various countries that have ruled Texas.
So, Spain, Mexico, the Texan flag and the United States.
Absolutely. This is the flags that have flown over Texas.
It was controlled by Spain,
then Mexico. That third one, the Republic of Texas.
After that, the United States.
Well done for the bonus.
And now the chance to choose your own question.
Twisted Flax, please.
What comes fourth in this sequence?
First one now.
That's one seventh, isn't it? Shall we go, next?
That's two sevenths.
OK, so that's three sevenths, four sevenths, so it's...
These just cycle through.
So it'll be 0.428571. That's four sevenths.
-No, it's not.
-It'll be 0.56 something, won't it?
-No, it won't.
Four sevenths is just over half. BELL
-I'm afraid that's not the right answer.
I'm going to show the third in the sequence
to the University Challengers.
What do you think is fourth?
That's the right answer. And what's the reason?
It's one, two, three and four sevenths in decimal.
That's exactly it. The decimal value of sevenths. I think you knew,
Crossworders, the numbers do cycle around.
It's just you gave us three sevenths.
I overruled a member of my team as well. Sorry, team.
You needed to start at the number five.
So that's a bonus to you, Challengers. Well done.
-Please choose a hieroglyph.
Your first in a sequence is coming up. What's fourth?
Time starts now.
That's a degree, I think.
They're...standards for a metre.
The current standard for a metre
is distance light travels in a certain fraction of a second.
The distance light travels in roughly one 300,000th of a second.
You're so right, you've given me more detail even then I needed.
The connection, as I think you know, historical definitions of a metre.
It was at first a fraction of the Earth's meridian.
Then there was a platinum bar, then wavelengths of krypton radiation.
Next would be distance travelled by light
to define the length of one metre. Very well done.
So that leaves one question for you, Crossworders.
It's the Two Reeds.
Your first clue is coming up now.
OK. Hang on...
It's a Roman Numeral that appears in the letters for that number.
So, five has got IV in the middle of it.
8 = I?
Because that's all it's got in it?
-We'll get the next one.
-It could be seven...
I'm not quite following you.
8 = I.
For what reason?
Well, they're the numbers 5, 6, 7 and 8.
And the Roman Numeral that is in the letters
for the spelling of that word.
So seven will be five.
Very well spotted. They are Roman Numerals
hidden inside the numbers five, six, seven and eight.
Next would be 7 = V, or five, 8 = I.
That means, at the end of round two, that the University Challengers
on this tough quiz have got an impressive seven points.
But the Crossworders are in the lead with ten.
Time to play the Connecting Wall.
This is where 16 fiendish little clues all come at once.
The teams have to sort them into four connected groups of four.
Crossworders, it's your turn to go first this time.
You may see red herrings in this grid, but there's only one four-part solution.
So, your first decision.
-Would you like Lion or Water?
-We'll go for Water, please.
-OK, the Water wall is coming your way.
You've got two-and-a-half minutes starting now.
OK, people named after their inventors... No...
Grieg is Norwegian. So is Munch.
And Harket. Shall we take them out?
OK, so Mother Courage, Mother Hubbard, Mother Goose, Mother Nature.
So, what are the other four? They're films, are they?
Captain Hollywood, Captain Maverick?
No. Planet Hollywood?
-Iceman is a sort of superhero, is he?
Are they roles played... Who played Maverick?
Are they roles played by Tom Cruise?
Oh, Top Gun!
Is he Hollywood in Top Gun?
Yes, Top Gun. Is he Hollywood in something else?
They are roles played by Tom Cruise in different films, do you think?
Or are they people in Top Gun?
-Because they all had nicknames.
-Yeah, maybe they are.
So, characters in Top Gun, yeah?
-Except, I'm not sure about Hollywood.
You've solved the wall. Excellent work.
Four points immediately for the groups you've found.
What about the connections?
Shrapnel, Leotard, Jacuzzi, Silhouette.
They're things that are
named after the person who invented or developed them.
I'm afraid I can't take that answer.
They are all things that were named after people,
but not all the inventors. It was Henry Shrapnel
who invented the Shrapnel shell.
But silhouette, for example,
named after a French politician, Etienne de Silhouette.
They are things named after people. Eponymous things.
Not their inventors, though.
Next group. The green group. What do you think of that one?
They are. I didn't read it out because I'd have had to say "Munk".
Too much of a clue. Morten Harket from a-ha. Do you know the others?
-Norwegian Nazi traitor.
-His name a byword for traitor now.
Grieg the composer and Munch the artist.
The painter Edvard Munch.
So, a point for that. Nature, goose, courage, Hubbard.
Things that can be preceded by Mother.
Characters that begin with mother.
Viper, Maverick, Hollywood, Iceman.
They're characters in the film Top Gun.
Yes, they are. Hollywood slightly more obscure than the others.
Well deduced. So, four points
for the groups that you've found.
Three points for the connections. That's a total of seven.
Let's bring in the University Challengers and see what happens
in their first ever confrontation with the Connecting Wall.
They're going to get the Lion wall.
16 new clues which still need sorting into four connected groups of four.
You have got two-and-a-half minutes to solve this dastardly puzzle.
The clues are coming up now.
OK... Pub names...
What's Forth Bridge?
Celtic Cross... It's all one line?
A box, for example.
Are some of them a thing on Only Connect like Delta and Lion?
That could work. Den of vice...
Oh, Dragon's Den.
-Didn't even go there.
-OK, so... So the Lion's gone.
I think pubs is a distraction.
Box is a tree, I think.
Box hedge is a tree. Apricot can also be a tree.
But none of the others.
Forth Bridge, Delta...
Are they pubs?
No. Let's try something else.
Sinclair. Clive Sinclair. Acorn.
Delta, is that a computer make?
No, it's an airline!
Are they the emblem on a thing,
like an acorn or a Celtic cross?
Oh, it's spelt like that, Forth Bridge...is that...?
The bridge over the Firth of Forth.
But is there something specific about it? Is it a suspension bridge?
It's a railway bridge, it's iron, it collapsed once...
Quick, look for anything.
Shall we try some trees quickly?
You've got a minute left.
Dragon is Wales.
Oak tree is England.
The Forth Bridge is Scotland.
Dragon, oak tree, Celtic cross and they're on the royal arms? No!
That wouldn't be it, would it? Let's try acorn.
I think it's stuff you can draw without taking your finger off the page,
-like a delta, a box, a Celtic cross and... Is it the Royal arms?
No, it's not acorn.
Is it some kind of stylised Dragon...? No, OK...
That's probably a red herring.
Royal arms. Lion, unicorn, harp...
-They don't have a dragon.
Stuff that's not on the royal arms.
-I think that could be a lot of things!
-Your time is up.
The wall has frozen. So, you've got one group.
That's a point. I'll give you another point for the connection. Gamblers, lion, vice, opium.
-They're all dens.
-All things you'd find in dens.
Den of gamblers, lion's den, vice den, opium den.
You can still get points for the connections of the groups you didn't find.
So let's resolve the wall.
OK, royal arms, oak tree, Forth Bridge, Celtic cross.
Scotland? Would that be the connection?
Well... You probably might see
an oak tree and the royal arms in Scotland, but not specific enough.
Now, this is a real classic pub quiz question.
They are things that appear on the reverse of a pound coin.
Or have done. They have appeared on pound coins.
Next group, Acorn, Dragon, Apricot, Sinclair.
Is that makes of computer?
Or games consoles?
-That's it. Computer companies.
I think three of them are actually defunct now.
And the last one... Box, delta, Malay, stunt.
-There you are. Just as I was worried that you guys
spent too much time reading books and not enough time in the outdoors.
They are types of kite. So, one point for the groups
you found. Three extra points for the connections.
That's a total of four points.
Let's see how that leaves the scores, going into round four.
The University Challengers have 11 points.
But the Crossworders are ahead with 17.
Still, that's quite a narrow gap for a round four because a lot of points are available here.
This will be where it is decided. This is the missing vowels round.
We take well-known phrases or sayings, take out the vowels, squidge up the consonants.
Teams, I want to know what those phrases or sayings are.
So, fingers on buzzers.
The first group are all fictional pairs.
Jeeves and Wooster.
-Vladimir and Estragon.
From Waiting For Godot. Correct.
A tough one. This is from 1984. Winston Smith and Julia. Next clue.
-Hansel and Gretel.
-Correct. Next category...
-14 times three.
This one's horrible. It's the atomic number of molybdenum. Next clue.
But how can you not get this? The messier number of the Orion Nebula.
-Life, The Universe And Everything.
There it is at last for one point. Next category.
-Catch Me If You Can.
-Yes, it is.
Too long, I'm afraid. You lose a point.
-Possible bonus, Crossworders.
-A Beautiful Mind.
Next category, complete the analogy...
White is to black as...
-Clean is to dirty.
-Cos they're opposites.
-Snow is to coal.
-One's white and one's black.
-First is to second.
Because in chess white goes first.
END OF ROUND MUSIC
That last one was Barry is to Cilla.
It's the singers Barry White and Cilla Black.
So, at the end of round four and the end of the quiz,
the University Challengers have a very impressive 17.
But the still undefeated Crossworders win the quiz with 22.
Very good job from you on a first attempt, University Challengers.
Sorry you didn't win, but thanks very much for coming along to play.
Crossworders, your undefeated status untarnished, despite this noble assault from a rival show.
Very well done. So, that's the end of that.
Although we are considering another special
possibly for the future in which the winners of this
take on the winners of the BBC One show Total Wipeout.
The results of that I think will be largely dependent on whether it's a home or away fixture. Goodbye.
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