Episode 22 Perfection

Welcome to the quiz that demands nothing less than perfection.

Four contestants will be hoping their knowledge is flawless.

This is Perfection.

APPLAUSE

Welcome to the quiz where only perfect play is good enough.

Behind me are the contestants we call the Usual Suspects.

One will be randomly selected to join me to play Perfection.

They'll face a series of true or false statements. For example...

Would you say that's true or false?

If you said true, you'd be right.

True or false might seem easy, but if a contestant gets an answer wrong

their opponents, the Usual Suspects, will be allowed into the game.

So, you know how the game works. Let's meet the Usual Suspects.

My name is Vicki. I'm a children's entertainer from Bridgend, south Wales, and this is my first game.

Hi. I'm Chabris. I'm between jobs. I'm from south London and this is my second game.

My name is Steve. I'm a project coordinator for a charity. I'm from Newcastle and this is my third game.

I'm Gary. I'm from Glasgow. I'm an operations manager and this is my fourth game.

-Welcome to you all, especially Vicki.

-Hello.

-A children's entertainer?

-Yes, I am.

-Do you have clown outfits?

-Or do you dress normally?

-I dress colourfully, but not in a clown outfit.

-Are we talking balloon animals?

-Yes. Magic, balloon animals and marionettes.

-Real magic or tricks?

-What do you mean "real magic or tricks"?

-Oh. There is only real magic, is there?

-Real magic. Yes.

-Let's hope that you bring a little magic to proceedings.

-Thank you.

We now find out who will be randomly picked to play Perfection.

Vicki, it's you. Please come and play Perfection.

Vicki, you looked absolutely shocked.

-I was.

-Did you want to be up there a while?

-I wouldn't have minded getting used to the place.

-Did you want to spend time with them?

-They're nice people. Yeah.

But Vicki, they were your team-mates. Now they're your enemies.

Their job is to stop you winning the prize fund, because that means it rolls over to the next game,

-where one of them could be playing for a bigger total.

-I wouldn't mind walking off with a bit of money.

Every game is worth £1,000. Here's the good news.

Nobody won the last game, so the prize fund stands at £2,000.

-APPLAUSE

-I'm guessing that's a few parties!

-Yes!

-What would you spend it on?

-Every year for 20 years I've been going to the Glastonbury Festival.

For £1,000, you can have a big tepee.

-If you win money, you want to live in a tepee?

-Yeah. It's wicked!

Good luck. I hope you get the money for your tepee.

Every round you achieve perfection will make the final easier.

However, if your performance is less than perfect the Usual Suspects can step in and steal the round.

More of that later. Usual Suspects, we're switching you off so you can't see or hear anything.

-Away they go. You can now talk through your answers without giving away any vital knowledge.

-OK.

Each round consists of four statements. You have 45 seconds.

Once you've given your first answer, it'll be locked in. Ready?

-Yes, I am.

-Let's play Perfection.

Your 45 seconds start now.

She certainly was Queen of England. True.

True.

True.

Oh, dear.

SHOUTS: True!

With plenty of time to spare, you've answered all four statements.

One at a level that mostly only dogs could hear.

LAUGHTER

Very, very high. What do you reckon? Good? Bad round?

Lady Jane Grey was Queen. I don't know if it was as long as nine weeks.

Before we reveal how well you've done, we'll bring back the Usual Suspects.

-They'll be able to hear you now.

-OK.

Usual Suspects, these are the four statements and Vicki's answers.

-Chabris, has she achieved perfection?

-I couldn't tell you.

-I think she's got C right.

-Steve?

-I don't think she has.

-She might have the last one wrong.

-The moment of truth.

You need to have answered all four perfectly. How many are correct?

You failed to achieve perfection. You let your enemies into the game.

Usual Suspects, can you steal the round? You need to change two.

A Pullman car is a railway carriage.

-Yeah.

-You're sure about Lumiere brothers.

-I'm 90% sure. Yeah.

We're going for A and D, please.

If the statement turns green, it's true. If it turns red, it's false.

-You were worried about the amount of time.

-Was it four days or five days?

-It's generally regarded as nine days.

-Ah.

You know where this is going...

Congratulations, Usual Suspects. You have achieved perfection.

APPLAUSE

Larkin was a poet who also wrote novels published in the '40s, before the Booker Prize started.

Vicki, they've stolen the round. Usual Suspects, you have the opportunity

to make Vicki's chances of winning the prize fund much harder in the final.

Vicki, this is your final board. These six spaces need to be filled with subject categories.

Behind each is a true or false statement. You need to answer all six correctly.

Here are your Final Round categories.

If you'd won that round, you would add two categories of your choice.

Because the Usual Suspects stole the round, they choose the categories, hoping to make things harder.

Which two would you like Vicki to play?

French Maths stuck out to me!

We'll go for French Maths, whatever that is.

-'66 World Cup?

-Yeah.

-'66 World Cup, please.

Well done, Usual Suspects. It's time to switch you off. We'll see you in Round 2.

Vicki, what do you think of their choices?

-French Maths?

-I can't do maths for love nor money.

-1966 World Cup? Don't suppose you were born.

-I was, but I wouldn't have noticed it.

-They've chosen pretty nasty ones?

-Oh, yes.

You have two more rounds to find perfection and choose your own categories.

-Are you ready?

-I am. Thank you.

-Let's play Round 2.

Your 45 seconds start now.

True.

True.

True.

I've been there, seen it.

I've no idea how tall 200...

True!

-You had loads of time left.

-I don't know metres.

OK, Vicki, you answered all four statements. Some guesses there?

-Oh, absolutely.

-Well, it's time to bring back the Usual Suspects.

Usual Suspects, these were the four statements and Vicki's answers.

-Gary, has she achieved perfection?

-She's got one wrong, maybe two.

I think Tony Hart didn't create the Blue Peter logo.

And I think the French call it mayonnaise. I don't think they call it anything else.

-Chabris, what do you think?

-I'm not sure on A.

Vicki, you need to have answered all four statements perfectly.

Let's see how many you got right.

Two of four! You failed to achieve perfection.

You let the Usual Suspects into the game.

Usual Suspects, you can see Vicki's answers. You need to change two.

-For definite, B is true.

-Definitely?

-Yeah.

My gut instinct would be A. I think that means, like, cream.

I think mayonnaise in French is mayonnaise.

-I think A and D.

-A and D? You got one right before and I was wrong.

I'm going to make an executive decision. A and D.

A and D.

Let's find out the correct answers.

-Creme Anglaise is custard.

-VICKI: Oh!

You know where this is going...

Congratulations, Usual Suspects. You have achieved perfection.

APPLAUSE

The Statue of Liberty is, in fact, around 40 metres tall.

The Usual Suspects have succeeded and stolen the round again.

You now have the opportunity to make Vicki's chances of winning the prize fund of £2,000 much harder.

Two subject categories already chosen by the Usual Suspects.

You earned the right to choose the next two categories.

-What do you think is going to trip Vicki up?

-Chemistry?

-Chemistry!

-What about Air Travel?

-Yeah.

-She's well travelled.

-Is she? I'm glad you were paying attention.

-Sea creatures.

-Sea creatures, please.

Congratulations, Usual Suspects. You won the first and second round.

Time to switch you off. We'll see you in Round 3.

Vicki, what do you think of Chemistry?

-Ha-ha!

-Sea creatures?

-Oh, sea creatures are all right.

Let's play Round 3.

Your 45 seconds start now.

True.

False.

No, that was Italy, I think. Um...

Germany participated...? False.

Timbales? Oh, say true!

Thank you.

With time to spare, you've answered all four statements. Happy?

Not really. I read that book about the man who went to fight in the Spanish Civil War.

Writer. Was it George Orwell? No.

Before we reveal how well you've done, we'll bring back the Usual Suspects.

These are the four statements and Vicki's answers.

-Chabris, how has she done?

-I'm gonna question A.

That's the only one I'm in a position to question.

-Gary?

-I think she's got B right.

And I think C, wrong.

-So a mixed bag again there. Vicki, it's the moment of truth.

-Yeah.

You need to have answered all four statements perfectly to have won the round.

Stopped at two again. Again, you didn't manage perfection.

You've let your enemies in.

Usual Suspects, can you steal this round, too?

You can see Vicki's answers. You need to change two.

-You both wondered about Friends.

-I don't know why.

-Ten years, 26 episodes a season.

-I don't think it went over 300.

-My daughter's got them all on DVD!

Bognor Regis is in Sussex. I think it's in Sussex.

Timbales rings a bell. It sounds right.

I'm sure the Germans were involved in the Spanish Civil War.

-A and C, then?

-A and C, can we change, please?

Let's find out what the correct answers are.

It is false. 238 episodes, actually.

West Sussex coast.

Congratulations, Usual Suspects. You have achieved perfection.

APPLAUSE

Oh, dear, Vicki. The Usual Suspects have succeeded where you failed...

-Bad news, isn't it?

-It is bad news, I'm afraid. Yes.

Usual Suspects, you have the opportunity to make Vicki's chance of winning the prize fund harder.

You've earned the right to choose the last two categories,

making a clean sweep for you.

-Which two would you like Vicki to play?

-National anthems.

National anthems is one, please. Shall we go for dance music?

-Go for it.

-Throw in dance music as well, please.

We now know our six final categories. They are...

You look fairly pleased with yourselves.

Time to switch you off for one last time. See ya.

-Vicki, what do you make of that?

-French Maths? Are you kidding me?

You don't know what the question is. For £2,000...

-I can't do English Maths.

-How different can it be?

-A lot. It's a different language!

True. For £2,000, it's time to play the Final.

This is the Final. If you achieve perfection, you could leave with a prize fund of £2,000.

If you fail, it's good news for the Usual Suspects, as one of them could be playing for £3,000

on the next game.

Let's play the Final Round.

Here are your six categories.

You must answer all six statements correctly. There's no time limit.

-OK.

-Once you've given an answer, it's locked in.

-Are you ready?

-Yes, I am.

-Let's reveal your first statement.

Right.

"In France, a comma is used as a decimal point."

Well, the French like to do things with a flourish.

They're very flourishy.

So they might go... Like that.

"In France, a comma is used as a decimal point."

I would agree with that and say that is true.

Well, I've heard of Geoff Hurst.

I hope he's not a snooker player. I hope he's a footballer.

If I've heard of him, he must be good at what he does.

So, I'm going to say that he was the top scorer in 1966.

I'm going to say that's true.

Ugh.

"Molecules of water contain two hydrogen atoms."

Hydrogen. Two atoms.

Atoms are small. I'm going to say... Oh, gosh.

A molecule of water... Oh, I'm going to say true to that, too. Go on.

I'm going to say true to that.

"God Save The Queen is Canada's national anthem."

There's a lot of French people in Canada.

They're pretty independent.

I'm going to take a punt and say false to that.

Oh, they're good, they are, the Chemical Brothers.

Um... I've danced to them.

Chemical Brothers... Oh! I'm going to say true.

-Those answers are now locked in.

-I know.

-If there's one mistake, you leave with nothing.

-I know!

-Which ones are you worried about?

-I'd be so upset about Canada,

after being there for four weeks.

It shows that I don't notice what's going on around me. I've no idea about Geoff Hurst.

And I've no idea about France.

-So, A, B and E are the ones worrying you.

-Yeah. Really.

Lovely. Let's bring back the Usual Suspects.

Usual Suspects, you can now see the six statements and Vicki's answers.

Vicki, you can't change them by yourself, but you can unlock the board with the Usual Suspects.

This will, however, come at a cost.

Usual Suspects, tell me how well Vicki has done, if you want to help and how much it will cost.

Remember, you can't refer to any of the statements specifically.

-Vicki, who would you like to hear from first?

-Gary, please.

You've definitely got one wrong.

-Only one?

-However, I'm not going to come down and help you out.

-You only think I've got one wrong?

-You've definitely got one wrong.

That's great. I thought they're all wrong. Steve?

You've got at least two wrong.

I'm sorry, I wouldn't be prepared to come down and help you, I'm afraid.

I understand, Steve. I wouldn't put you in that position. Chabris?

Hey, Vicki. I think you've got one wrong.

I've got one niggling at the back of my neck,

so I can't come down and help you, sorry.

-I'm afraid negotiations are over.

-I'm really pleased I only got one wrong, to tell you the truth.

But the game is about getting them ALL right.

But if I got them ALL wrong, I could never hold my head up in Bridgend.

OK! None of our Usual Suspects will help.

-You're going it alone. £2,000 at stake. Six answers away.

-Yeah.

Let's find out if you achieved perfection.

If a statement turns green, it's true. Red, it's false...

We need this to turn green for you to get it under way.

Is it true or false?

-There you go!

-APPLAUSE

-You were unhappy about it but you got the French Maths question right.

-I'm a genius.

-Pretty much....

-You'd heard of him.

-I have.

-He must be good at his job. You said true.

Is it true or false?

Oh, no! He's not good at his job!

Firstly, you failed to achieve perfection and won't be going home with the cash.

Secondly, he was a lot better than anyone after him for England.

He actually scored a hat-trick in the 1966 World Cup Final.

-That's why he was famous.

-Oh, right. There's a shame. Right.

-Eusebio of Portugal was the top scorer, with nine goals.

-Right.

Perhaps you've achieved perfection at home.

Water came through for me! LAUGHTER

I was really...sure about that.

-Two right, two wrong.

-Oh, well.

I can hold my head up in Bridgend!

It used to be but in 1980 Oh, Canada was proclaimed the national anthem.

"The Chemical Brothers are, in fact, siblings."

-Oh, rotten!

-They were schoolfriends.

-Why call themselves brothers?

-I'll take it up with them.

-I'll never dance to them again!

You're not going home with money, but you did really well.

Usual Suspects, the prize fund rolls over to the next game where one of you could be playing for £3,000.

You played it right.

-Vicki, you failed to achieve perfection, but I hope you enjoyed playing.

-I did.

-Vicki, everybody!

Time to meet the next Usual Suspect hoping to play Perfection.

New Usual Suspect, please introduce yourself.

Hello. My name is Maggie. I live in Birmingham and I'm a call centre interviewer.

-Welcome to the show.

-Thank you, Nick.

-A call centre interviewer? Everyone pleased to hear you?

-Yes.

Our company doesn't sell anything. We simply do surveys on behalf of local government.

Best of luck, as we find out who will be randomly picked to play Perfection.

Steve, it's you. Please come and play Perfection.

Steve, welcome to the game. I wanted to ask you about this transport charity.

You buy cars then hire them to people cheaply?

We hire them to people that have left benefits and starting work.

So it's to help them get to work if they're working shift work

or in an area with poor bus services.

-Where's this based?

-In County Durham.

-Good for you.

It's you versus the Usual Suspects. They were your team-mates. They're now your enemies.

Nobody's won the past two games, so the prize fund stands at £3,000.

-APPLAUSE

-What would you do with £3,000?

It might sound boring, but I'm a single parent,

I've got three teenage children and I'd really like to go on holiday with them.

Doesn't sound boring. Sounds like one of the better reasons.

Three rounds and a final to come. Usual Suspects, we're switching you off.

As soon as Steve makes a mistake, you will be back in the game.

Steve, you can now talk through your answers.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Shall we start?

-Yeah.

-Let's play Perfection.

APPLAUSE

Your 45 seconds start now.

False.

True.

True.

False.

Plenty of time left.

-How was that?

-All right.

-There's a couple there that...

-No great shakes?

-Not really.

Time to bring back the Usual Suspects. They'll be able to hear what you're saying.

Usual Suspects, these were the four statements and Steve's answers.

-Maggie, has he achieved perfection?

-I don't think so.

-I think he's got one question wrong.

-Which one?

-I think A.

-Gary, has he achieved perfection?

-Yeah. I think he has.

-OK.

You need to have answered all four statements perfectly.

Let's find out how many are correct.

You failed to achieve perfection, and let your enemies into the game.

Usual Suspects, you can see Steve's answers.

You need to change two of them.

A is definitely false. Trent Bridge is not home to Nottingham Forest.

-I didn't think clod was a cut of beef.

-You're sure A is OK.

-A stays false.

-And D's OK?

-I'm not SURE.

-I THINK "clod" is a bit of grass.

-I think so, too.

If we agree on that, he's only got two right.

-We'll change B and C please, Nick.

-Yeah.

If a statement turns green, it's true. If it turns red, it's false.

It's false. Home to Nottinghamshire County Cricket Club.

Eat, Pray, Love is the title of the book by Elizabeth Gilbert.

You had the chance to steal the round from Steve but you failed to achieve perfection.

Let's see if you managed to achieve perfection.

It is, from around the neck area.

Usual Suspects, you would have had the opportunity to make Steve's chances of winning much harder.

Here's how. Steve, this is your final board.

Six spaces need to be filled with subject categories.

Because neither side won the round,

two categories will be carried over to the next round.

Four categories will be on offer. Usual Suspects, we'll see you in Round 2.

Away they go. Steve, they can't hear you. Don't worry.

What do you really not want to get?

There's some stinkers there. Dogs.

-I'm a dog owner, but... Dogs.

-Dogs will be nasty.

Yeah.

In order to win the prize fund, you need to answer all six correctly.

Winning the next round could prove crucial.

-Ready to play?

-Yeah.

-Let's play Round Two.

Your 45 seconds start now.

False.

True.

False.

False.

Plenty of time to spare again.

You answered all four statements. Better or not?

About the same!

I think I've got two, probably.

It's time to bring back the Usual Suspects.

These are the four statements and Steve's answers.

Chabris, how has he done?

I have no clue about A and D but I think he's got B and C right.

-Gary, do you agree?

-I think he's done it.

Steve, the moment of truth. You need to have answered all four perfectly.

It's close, but you failed to achieve perfection.

You let your enemies into the game.

Usual Suspects, with four categories on offer, can you steal the round?

You need to change one. Which one's it going to be?

Valentino Rossi does not play football for Juventus.

-Collieries are mines.

-Yeah.

-Sitcom, I don't think that was set in Blackpool.

-I don't think it was set in Blackpool.

But I thought you needed two packs of cards for Bridge.

-I played it with my grandma with two packs.

-Blackpool could be correct.

-It's the only one that makes sense.

-I'm not sure about that.

I think, from the process of elimination, we have to go for A.

-Sure.

-We have to go for A, Nick.

Let's find out what the correct answers are.

-LAUGHING:

-Woops!

It was set in the fictional Essex town of Crimpton-on-Sea.

Have you achieved perfection at home? We'll find out.

It's false!

In fact, you only play with one pack.

He is a motorcycle world champion.

They are, of course, mines.

Usual Suspects, you could have made Steve's chances of winning the prize fund much harder.

Let's look at that board. Nothing on there at the moment.

Neither side won the round, meaning six categories will be on offer on Round 3.

Usual Suspects, I'm going to switch you off.

Steve, six categories on offer all on this one go.

-This would be the time to pull out perfection.

-If ever I needed it.

-Ready?

-Yeah.

-Let's play Round 3.

Your 45 seconds start now.

False.

False.

True.

False.

-I've a feeling you were having a guess at the end.

-I hate tuna!

Time to bring back the Usual Suspects for a chat.

Usual Suspects, these were the four statements and Steve's answers.

-Gary, has he achieved perfection?

-He's got Spike Milligan right.

I'm not sure about B.

I think he might be the first one, but I'm not 100% sure.

-Chabris, what do you think?

-I'm going to question B.

Other than that, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

You need to have answered all four statements perfectly.

Let's find out how many are correct.

Close, but not good enough, I'm afraid.

You've let your enemies into the game.

Usual Suspects, you can see his answers. You need to change one.

Muntjac is definitely a deer.

-You're 100% sure?

-100%.

-Spike Milligan definitely fought in...

-And wrote the book.

My Part In His Downfall, yeah. I'm not sure about Sylvia Plath.

Didn't Nicole Kidman play her part in a film just recently?

-What does that say to us?

-I didn't see the film! What about Henry V?

I thought Henry V was the beginning of the house of Tudor.

I'm probably talking nonsense.

It's a guess, so if anyone's got strong thoughts, jump in now.

-If I had to take a punt, I'd go for A.

-I'd go for B.

-My gut instinct says B as well.

-OK.

-But I've been wrong before.

But I'm going to stick with B. B, Nick. My fault.

Let's find out what the correct answers are.

-It's true!

-Sorry, Maggie.

-Look at the look she's giving you!

That's one of the more fantastic looks we've seen on the show.

I deserved it.

When you get home and look at your recording, pause it on that.

As good a look as you'll ever see! You failed to achieved perfection.

You haven't stolen the round. Can you still achieve perfection?

He was a Plantagenet.

It is, in fact, a small deer.

Had you achieved perfection, you would have the opportunity to make Steve's chances much harder.

Let's look at the board.

Nothing there! Nobody managed to win Round 3 either.

We have six blank spaces still to be filled.

You will take it in turn to choose. Steve, which category would you like to add?

Olympics.

-Usual Suspects?

-Therapies.

-Therapies, please.

Steve?

Entertainers.

-Painters?

-Yeah.

-Painters, please.

Tom Cruise.

US Cities?

I'm quite good on US Cities, so in the Final...

-Go and take two grand from us(!)

-Shall we go for Literature?

-It could be ambiguous.

-Yeah.

-Literature, please.

We know our six categories. They are...

Usual Suspects, time to switch you off for the final time. Cheerio.

You got a bit out of jail there.

Yeah. Definitely. Didn't want Therapies. And Painters... Eugh!

For £3,000, it's time to play the Final.

Steve, if you achieve perfection, you could be leaving with £3,000.

If you fail, it's great for the Usual Suspects, as one of them could be playing for £4,000 next game.

-Let's play the Final Round.

-APPLAUSE

Here are your categories. They are...

You must answer all six statements correctly to win the £3,000.

-There's no time limit. Once you've given an answer, it's locked in. Ready?

-Yeah.

Tell me whether you believe this to be true or false.

True.

True.

"Ernie Wise's real surname was Bartholomew."

False.

True.

"In Days Of Thunder, Tom Cruise plays Cole Trickle."

False.

False.

Steve, those answers are locked in.

If there's one single mistake, you leave with nothing.

-Which ones are worrying?

-The ones on my categories, C and E.

-C and E.

-Bartholomew might have been Eric Morecambe's real name.

I can't believe they would give a character the name Cole Trickle.

I just cannot.

-C and E bother you?

-Yeah.

-Let's bring back the Usual Suspects to see what they've got to say.

Usual Suspects, you can see the six statements and Steve's answers.

Steve, your answers are locked in, but you can unlock them with the help of the Usual Suspects.

This will, however, come at a cost.

You can't refer to any statement specifically. Who will you hear from first?

Gary first, please.

Hello, mate. I think you've done quite well, to be honest.

One I'm not sure about, and there's no point in me helping you.

-Chabris, please.

-You've definitely got two right.

One, I'm in two minds about

but I can't risk it and come and help you, sorry.

-Chabris has declared herself out, too.

-Champion(!)

- Maggie then, please. - I think you've done very well.

But I'm not willing to help you. The money's not high enough yet.

The negotiations are closed. None of our Usual Suspects will help.

£3,000 at stake. Six answers away. Let's find out if you've achieved perfection.

If a statement turns green, it's true. Red, it's false...

You said that was true. Is it true or false?

I know! You would think that he was a gold medallist but in fact, no.

He was a world record holder. I'm afraid you didn't manage to achieve perfection.

You won't be going home with any cash.

I wonder whether you could achieve perfection at home still...

A form of massage therapy.

Ernie's was actually Wiseman. "Claude Monet was one of the Impressionists."

"In Days of Thunder, Tom Cruise plays Cole Trickle."

Finally, "The Canterbury Tales were written by Shakespeare."

Geoffrey Chaucer wrote them. You need to achieve perfection to take the money.

Usual Suspects, the prize fund rolls over. One of you could be playing for £4,000. That's good news.

ALL: Yes.

-I'm afraid you failed to achieve perfection, but have you enjoyed playing?

-It's been brilliant.

-Steve, everybody.

-Thank you.

-Thank you very much.

Please join us next time when our Usual Suspects have the chance to play for £4,000.

Remember, on this show, we only pay for perfection. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]