Episode 4 Perfection

Welcome to the quiz that demands nothing less than perfection.

Four contestants will be hoping their knowledge is flawless.

This is Perfection.

APPLAUSE

Welcome to the quiz where only perfect play is good enough.

Behind me are the contestants we call the Usual Suspects.

One will be randomly selected to join me to play Perfection.

They'll face a series of true or false statements. For example...

Would you say that's true or false?

If you said true, you'd be right.

True or false might seem easy,

but if a contestant gets a single answer wrong,

their opponents, the Usual Suspects, will be allowed into the game.

You know how the game works. Let's meet the Usual Suspects.

I'm Nick. I'm from Nottingham. I'm a trainee teacher and this is my first game.

I'm Tracey. I'm from Doncaster. I'm a relief dinner lady and this is my first game.

I'm Gary. I'm from London. I'm a local government officer and this is my second game.

I'm Danny. I'm from Essex. I'm a London cab driver and this is my fourth game.

Welcome to you all, specifically Nick and Tracey.

We now find out who will be randomly picked to play Perfection.

-APPLAUSE

-Come and join us to play Perfection.

-Tracey, welcome to the show. You're a dinner lady.

-Yes.

-Does that mean cooking the food?

-Watching the kids in the playground.

-Do you let them out in the rain?

-No. Ooh, can't let them out in the rain.

Nothing wrong with rain! Tracey, it's you versus the Usual Suspects.

Their job is to stop you winning the prize fund because that means it rolls over to the next game,

where one of them could be playing for a bigger total.

Every game is worth £1,000.

Unfortunately for you, the last game was won so the prize fund is reset to £1,000.

You play three rounds then a final. Every round you achieve perfection will make the final easier.

However, if your performance is less than perfect the Usual Suspects can step in and steal the round.

More of that to follow later.

Usual Suspects, we're switching you off so you can't see or hear anything.

-Bye.

-And away they go.

-Tracey, you can talk through your answers without giving away any vital knowledge.

-OK.

Each round consists of four statements. You have 45 seconds.

Once you've given your first answer, it'll be locked in.

-Happy?

-Yeah.

-Good, then let's play Perfection.

Your 45 seconds start now.

That is so bizarre that it's probably true.

That is true.

I have absolutely no idea.

So I'm going to say true.

I think he wouldn't have wanted to

so I'm going to say false.

You've answered all four questions. Did that feel like a good round?

No. If you're going to guess, you may as well have a confident guess.

-Which was the guess?

-The bottom two.

-The bottom two were guesses?

-Yeah.

Well, it's time to bring back the Usual Suspects. They'll now be able to hear you.

These were the four statements and Tracey's answers.

Nick, has she achieved perfection?

-Question A doesn't sound likely. I'd want to change that.

-Gary?

I'm afraid, for Tracey's sake, that C is wrong.

-Danny?

-I thought she'd got perfection, she'd done really well.

-A mixed bag of comments.

-I'll take Danny's, if that's all right.

How many HAVE you got correct?

Very close but you've now let your enemies, the Usual Suspects, in.

Can you steal the round?

You need to change one of them.

I would say A looks so ridiculous it's got to be true.

-Fair enough.

-Seeing as Gary is a Japanese cuisine expert...

I'm not. No. But there's a well-known supermarket brand salad that has edamame beans in it.

-See?

-I'm sure it's C.

We're going to change C from true to false, please, Nick.

A, B and D remain as Tracey answered.

Let's find out. If it turns green, it's true. If it turns red, it's false.

You thought it was so unlikely that it could be true.

This is the key one. You need it to turn red.

It's a type of bean, a soya bean in fact.

So, you know where this is going.

Congratulations, Usual Suspects, you've achieved perfection.

APPLAUSE

Bob Dylan was famously opposed to war. Tracey, they've stolen the round.

Usual Suspects, you have the opportunity to make Tracey's chance of winning the prize fund harder.

Tracey, this is your final board.

These six spaces need to be filled with subject categories.

Behind each category will be a true or false statement.

You'll need to answer all six to win the prize fund.

So you need perfect play. Here are the final round categories.

If you'd won that round, you'd add two categories of your choice.

Because the Usual Suspects stole the round from you, they choose the two categories.

Usual Suspects, which two do you think are going to trip Tracey up?

I don't see Tracey as a Dr Who geek.

-Yeah, we'll put Dr Who in, then.

-Dr Who going across?

-Yeah.

I like maths.

Counting chips? She doesn't have to count chips.

OK, we'll go with maths as well.

It's time to switch you off. We'll see you in round two.

And away they go.

-Tracey, what do you think of their choices?

-I'm quite good at maths.

Interesting. It's only the first round.

You have two more rounds to find perfection, which is the way to go forward.

-Are you ready for the next round?

-Yeah.

-Let's play round two.

APPLAUSE

Your 45 seconds start now.

Wasn't he the one who sang the dirty song? I'm going to say no. False.

False.

False.

That's true.

You've raced through that. That sounded like a very good round.

No. The only one I'm sure of is C.

-Absolutely sure of C.

-The rest were guesses?

-Yeah.

-Even D? You sounded very confident.

-Well, it sounds daft enough.

Well, before we reveal how well you've done it's time to bring back the Usual Suspects.

These were the four statements.

-Danny, how's she done this time?

-I think she's got D wrong.

-It's a pie. Everybody knows that.

-LAUGHTER

-Gary, do you agree?

-I do. It is a pie. It is also a city, but it's in Argentina.

Tracey, you need to have answered all four perfectly. Let's find out how many are correct.

Again!

You failed to achieve perfection. You've let your enemies in again!

Usual Suspects, you need to change just one.

Definitely D, boys, yeah?

-Are you sure?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Yeah.

-We're going to change D from true to false please.

Let's find out what the correct answers are.

He was, of course, a singer.

Is it true or false?

It's actually by Botticelli.

You know where this is going again, don't you?

Usual Suspects, you said false.

Congratulations, Usual Suspects. You have achieved perfection.

APPLAUSE

-Fray Bentos IS actually in Uruguay.

-Ooh.

Not in Colombia. It is also a pie, but it's irrelevant.

But there you go. The Usual Suspects have stolen the round.

Usual Suspects, you now have the opportunity to make Tracey's chances of winning the prize fund harder.

Because you won the round, you choose the next two categories.

-Which two do you want her to play?

-I like ships.

-Ships? Yeah.

-Ships are great.

-Ships, definitely.

-Poetry?

-I'm not so sure.

-I don't like to stereotype but...

I think she might know about poetry.

-Why?

-She looks like a lady that would read a lot of poetry.

-Solar system, then?

-I would be more happy to go for that.

We're going with solar system.

Congratulations. You've won the first two rounds.

It's time to switch you off. We'll see you in round three.

Tracey, what do you think of the two they chose?

Not too bothered about ships. Solar system is a bit...

-A worry?

-Yeah. I'm more interested in this stereotype that Gary thinks.

-You read poetry and count chips all day.

-Count chips! Obviously(!)

-You ready to play this round?

-Yeah.

-OK, let's play round three.

Your 45 seconds start now.

Oh, gosh!

I'm going to say false.

That's false. She's a Labour MP, I think.

Oh, gosh. This is a complete guess, but I'm going to say true.

Um... Is it dentine or enamel?

I'll say true.

With time to spare again, you answered all four statements.

-Couple of guesses in there?

-Of course. Every time.

Before we reveal how well you've done, time to bring back the Usual Suspects.

These are the four statements. Nick, has she achieved perfection?

I think she's wrong with A.

I think Larry Grayson did present Blankety Blank. It rings a bell.

I think Nick's right. I'm sure Larry Grayson used to do Blankety Blank.

Tracey, you need to have answered all four statements. Let's find out how many you got correct.

-I don't believe it!

-You're consistent.

-Yeah.

Tracey, you didn't quite manage perfection. You've let your enemies into the game for the third time.

Once again, you only need to change one of them.

After careful discussions, we've decided...

-that we're going to change C.

-C?

-Yeah.

-C is changing from true to false?

-Correct.

Let's find out what the correct answers are.

-You were going for that.

-He was "Shut that door", "What a gay day."

I thought he never said that on Blankety Blank, did he?

So you need this to turn red. Is it true or false?

He was the host of the Generation Game. So, moving on...

She's been a Labour MP since 1992.

This is the one that you changed.

You need this to turn red if you're going to take this round.

It's, in actual fact, a centre for the sport of shooting.

Finally...

Congratulations, Usual Suspects.

-You have achieved perfection.

-APPLAUSE

Oh, dear, Tracey.

You now have the opportunity to make Tracey's chances of winning the prize fund as hard as it can be.

The first four categories have all been chosen by you.

You get to choose the last two, making a clean sweep.

-Which two are going to trip her up in the final?

-Poetry, please.

Kings & Queens?

-That's what I'd favour.

-I'm happy.

-Kings & Queens, please, Nick.

We now know our six final categories.

It's time to switch you off for the final time.

And away they go. What do you think?

-I won't be sharing the money cos they won't help me!

-You don't think?

Are you joking?

-Tracey, for £1,000...

-Yeah.

-..it's time to play the final.

If you achieve perfection you could leave here with £1,000.

If not, you leave with nothing - great for the Usual Suspects,

as one of them could be playing for a rollover of £2,000.

-Ready?

-Yeah.

-Let's play the final round.

Here are your six final categories,

all chosen by the Usual Suspects.

You must answer all six correctly

if you want to win the £1,000.

There's no time limit but once you've answered, it's locked in. Let's reveal your first statement.

Tell me whether you believe it to be true or false.

Let's think about this.

Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee...

Tom Baker.

I think that's true.

Three times pi is more than ten.

False.

Ships.

I don't know.

I'll say true. It's a fairly big ship, isn't it?

True.

The word galaxy comes from the Greek word for milk.

It's a guess, so I'll say true.

False.

Right, "Lived, beheaded, died.

"Lived, beheaded..."

-True.

-True.

Those answers are now locked in.

If there is one single mistake, you leave with nothing.

-Which ones are you worried about?

-I'm worried about E.

And I'm worried about C.

Let's switch on the Usual Suspects.

You can now see the final six statements and Tracey's answers.

Tracey, you can't change them by yourself,

but you can unlock the board with the help of the Usual Suspects.

This, however, will come at a cost.

Usual Suspects, tell me how well you think Tracey's done, if you'll help and how much it'll cost.

Remember, all of you, you can't refer to any statement specifically.

-Tracey, who would you like to go first?

-I'll hear from Gary.

I think you've done really well, Tracey, but we did give you some horrible questions.

- Yes, you did! - I'm pretty sure one is wrong.

But I haven't got a clue on three others so I couldn't help you.

-Anyone else?

-Danny, please.

-I think you've got some wrong.

-LAUGHTER

I imagine you'd love to come down here and for a share, help her out!

-No. I'm all right here, thank you.

-LAUGHTER

-That leaves you one option.

-Nick.

Not a great option. I don't know. I can't help you. Sorry. Good luck.

None of our Usual Suspects will help. £1,000 at stake. Six answers away.

Let's find out if you've achieved perfection.

If the statement turns green, it's true. Red, it's false.

-You counted it out on your fingers.

-Got it wrong!

-Shall we find out?

-Yes.

-It needs to turn green and get us off to a flying start.

-APPLAUSE

-Well done. Good start.

They said you wouldn't be good at maths. What was your working?

It all depends. If I've got pi right, it's less than ten.

If pi's wrong, then it's more.

-What did you think it was?

-3.14, something like that.

We need it to turn red.

Oh, yes! There you go, Gary! APPLAUSE

It is 3.14. Very good.

-This was the one you said you weren't very sure about.

-Mm.

-Yeah.

-We'll come back to that, then.

-Go on, then.

The word galaxy comes from the Greek word for milk.

We need it to turn green.

APPLAUSE

-Didn't like this one.

-Let's skip that as well. Let's go on to F.

You counted it on your fingers.

We'd like this to turn green. True or false?

Anne of Cleves and Catherine Parr outlived him.

So, four out of the six. You're almost there for the £1,000.

-Only the two left that you were most worried about.

-Yeah.

Let's go back to C.

You need this to turn green.

If it turns green, you're one question away from winning £1,000.

If it turns red, you're leaving with nothing.

-AUDIENCE GROANS

-It's false.

963 feet. What a shame. I'm afraid that you didn't achieve perfection.

Have you achieved perfection at home? Shall we check it out for you?

You said this was a guess as well.

You went for false. Is it true or false?

It is false.

APPLAUSE

It's by Walter de la Mare.

You got within one and you were out by just over 200 feet.

I think they thought I'd got a different one wrong.

I think they were as bad as I was.

You showed them that dinner ladies don't necessarily just count chips.

Usual Suspects, great for you. Prize fund rolls over. You could be playing for £2,000. Good news?

-Yeah.

-Very.

-Chuffed with that?

-Yeah.

You failed to achieve perfection but you did cover yourself in glory.

-You go home with nothing. You've had fun?

-Yes, thank you.

-Let's hear it, please, for Tracey.

-APPLAUSE

Close but no cigar. Time to meet the next Usual Suspect hoping to play Perfection.

Please introduce yourself.

I'm Corrine. I work in telemarketing and I come from York.

Welcome to the game, Corrine.

We now find out who will be randomly picked to play Perfection.

Gary, please come and play Perfection.

-Gary, looking forward to playing?

-Certainly am, Nick. Yes.

It's now you versus the Usual Suspects. They were your team-mates.

As nobody won the last game, the prize fund stands at £2,000.

-APPLAUSE

-What would you do with £2,000?

-I might take a holiday to South America.

-It is a fantastic part of the world. Good luck.

Three rounds to come and the final.

Usual Suspects, we're going to switch you off. As soon as Gary makes a mistake, you'll be back.

And away they go.

-Gary, you can now talk through your answers. OK?

-Yeah.

-Ready?

-I am.

Then let's play Perfection.

Your 45 seconds start now.

Um...

I'll give that a...true.

It's the sort of thing he might do.

Yeah, true.

-Have I heard of them?

-You need to hurry.

-False.

False.

Had me worried for a while there. How was that as a round for you?

The last one I know.

First three, guesses.

Before we reveal how you've done, it's time to bring back the Usual Suspects.

These are the four statements.

Corrine, has he achieved perfection?

-I don't think Sadie Frost was married to Gary Kemp.

-OK.

-Nick?

-I'm not sure about the Sadie Frost thing.

I'm good on celebrity gossip and I've never heard of that.

The moment of truth. Let's find out how many you've got correct.

Unfortunately, you didn't manage perfection.

You've let your enemies into the game.

Can you steal this round?

You need to change just one of them.

-Shall we go with A, then?

-Yes.

We're going to change A from true to false, please.

Usual Suspects, if a statement turns to green, it's true. If it turns red, it's false.

You need this to turn red. Is it true or false?

True! Oh, dear, Usual Suspects. You failed to achieve perfection.

They were married in 1988. Maybe you've achieved perfection, if no-one has in the studio.

It was his daughter with Emma Hamilton.

That's the one you needed to change.

And finally...

-It was, in fact, the real name of...

-Lewis Carroll.

-Very good!

Absolutely right.

Usual Suspects, you would now have had the chance to choose two categories for Gary's final board.

Because neither side won,

the two categories will be carried over to the next round.

Meaning four categories will be on offer. Usual Suspects, time to switch you off.

Away they go.

-Gary, are you ready?

-I'm ready.

-Let's play round two.

Your 45 seconds start now.

False.

False.

True.

WHISPERS: Early 17th century? Marble Arch?

Hm. Horrible.

-Um...

-You've got a bit of time.

-False.

-False?

-Yeah.

With time to spare, you've managed to answer all four statements.

-Comfortable round?

-Not bad, except for the last one.

Well, it's time for us to bring back the Usual Suspects.

Usual Suspects, these are the four statements.

-Danny, how's he done?

-The only one I'd question is D.

Gary's clever enough to be sure on Samuel Beckett and the others. He would guess D. Wouldn't know it.

-That would be my only saving grace cos we need to win this.

-OK.

Gary, the moment of truth. Let's find out how many are right.

You have achieved perfection.

That's the way to play it. Let's go through the answers.

-It was, of course...

-William the Conqueror.

William the Conqueror.

He was born in Western Australia and came the opposite way.

It was built in the 19th century as an entrance to Buckingham Palace.

-It was then shifted.

-Nice porch.

-Yeah. Very nice porch!

Gary, as a result of that perfect performance you've made winning the prize fund a lot easier.

You earned the right to choose four categories, two from the first round and two from the one we just played.

-What four would you like across?

-UK cities.

I think I'll go with rhyming slang.

Er...space!

Usual Suspects, see you in the next round. Maybe you'll get a look in then. Away they go.

By choosing your categories, you've hopefully made winning a lot easier.

-Shall we press on?

-Yes.

-Let's play round three.

Your 45 seconds start now.

True.

I think that's false.

I think that is true.

She's someone's daughter, someone famous, I mean.

I think that is true.

With time to spare, you've answered all four.

-Good round?

-Pretty good.

-It's time to bring back the Usual Suspects.

So, Usual Suspects, these are the four statements.

Danny, do you think he's managed to clear the board?

Yeah.

I do, yeah. Which pains me to say. Maybe D... Maybe...

-Corrine, has he missed one?

-Yes.

I believe D's wrong.

You need to have answered all four statements perfectly. Let's find out how many you got correct.

Just two this time.

You've let your enemies, the Usual Suspects, into the game.

Usual Suspects, you can see Gary's answers.

You need to change two of them.

Which two?

-How sure, Corrine, are you?

-Isabella Rossellini is Ingrid Bergman's daughter.

Definitely change D from true to false, please.

Gary would definitely know B.

-I think it could be C.

-C or A.

I think C.

-Are we happy to go for C?

-On that advice, change C from true to false.

Let's find out what the correct answers are.

You've left this one as true. Is it true or false?

Usual Suspects, you have failed to achieve perfection.

A glass harp is a collection of glasses with different levels of water

to create a musical instrument.

Have you achieved perfection?

In actual fact, at Khartoum.

You're absolutely right, Corrine.

She was the daughter of Ingrid Bergman.

Had you achieved perfection, you would have had the chance to make Gary's chances harder in the final.

Nobody won round three and we have two categories to be filled.

You'll take it in turns to choose a category. Gary, you choose first.

Which one do you want as your fifth choice in the final?

As a non-swimmer, I'm going to go for swimming.

Usual Suspects, you get to choose your only category

that you think will trouble Gary.

-We'll go with dancers, please, Nick.

-Yes?

-Yeah.

We now know our six categories.

It's time to switch you off for the final time.

Gary, for £2,000, it's time to play the final.

If you can achieve perfection, you could be leaving with £2,000.

If not, you leave with nothing - great for the Usual Suspects.

One of them could be playing for a rollover of £3,000 in the next game.

-Are you ready?

-I'm ready.

-Let's play the final round.

Gary, here are your six categories.

You must answer all six correctly to win the £2,000.

-There's no time limit but once you give answer, it's locked in. Ready?

-I'm ready.

Please tell whether you believe this to be true or false. UK Cities.

It's quite a long way from London.

But, I mean, Aberdeen...

Which way does it go, the border? That way.

It's quite a way up.

I think that is...f-false.

Spike Milligan was a member of The Goodies.

That is false.

It's feet, so that is...false.

Oh, here we go. I knew it'd be something like that.

Right. What we got? Venus.

Mars.

Earth.

All those are quite little and inward.

Outside, you've got Pluto, that's nine, if it's still a planet.

You've got Uranus. You've got Jupiter.

Then you've either got Saturn or whatever else.

So it's either fifth or sixth.

I would have known this when I was a boy.

I think it's...false.

The first man to swim the Channel took over 20 hours.

I think...

..it's true.

Dancers, chosen by the Usual Suspects.

Ah, no. I see.

I think she was in Hot Gossip.

Hot Chocolate is a band.

She was in Hot Gossip, a dance troupe.

That is false.

-False?

-Yes.

-Thank you very much.

Those answers are locked in. If there is one single mistake, you leave with nothing.

Would it be fair to say, after the agonising over D,

-that's the one that's troubling you?

-It would, but...

E and A are also iffy.

Let's bring back the Usual Suspects. You can see the final statements.

Next to them are Gary's answers.

You can't change them by yourself, but you can with the help of the Usual Suspects.

This will come at a cost.

Usual Suspects, tell me how well you think Gary's done, if you want to help and how much it will cost.

Remember, you can't refer to any of the statements specifically.

-Who would you like to hear from first?

-Er...Corrine.

I think you've got perfection. I don't think I could help you.

-I'll take that.

-Anyone else?

-Yeah. I'll hear from Nick.

I can't help you. You've done brilliantly, so best of luck to you.

OK, let's hear from Daniel.

I think you've got one wrong.

How confident are you in your answers?

I'm not 100% confident, obviously.

How many do you think you've got wrong?

-Three I'm not absolutely sure of.

-It's more of a punt for me than you.

-Possibly.

-I figured there was two there that you wouldn't know.

I'm sure I would know one of them so we would have to discuss the other.

-But you've introduced that there's three.

-Yeah.

-That then, for me, changes it a little bit.

-Sure.

-I'm sorry, Gar, and I mean that.

-I'm happy. It makes more sense.

-OK.

-So, no-one wants to come down for any amount of cash, right?

-Yeah.

-Gary, none of the Usual Suspects are willing to help.

-Sure.

-You seem reasonably happy.

-Yeah. I'm happy with that.

£2,000 at stake. Six answers away. Let's find out if you've achieved perfection.

If the statement turns green, it's true. Red, it's false.

We need this to turn red for you.

APPLAUSE

You were very confident on this. We need it to turn red.

-He belonged to a different group.

-The Goons.

-Absolutely right.

You said it's rhyming slang for...

-Feet.

-So we need this to turn red.

It is Cockney rhyming slang for feet. Then we come to...

-This was the one that was driving you crackers.

-Yeah.

-Let's skip it and move to E.

-Sure.

The first man to swim the Channel took over 20 hours.

We need this to turn green. Is it true or false?

-APPLAUSE

-Matthew Webb.

-Yeah.

-21 hours 45 minutes it took him.

You were fairly confident. You said Hot Gossip.

I think so.

We need it to turn red. If it turns green, you go home with nothing.

If it turns red, you're one answer away from £2,000.

APPLAUSE

She was a choreographer with Hot Gossip. So...

-Ah!

-..we return to Saturn.

-Now I think I've got it wrong.

You finally decided that the statement is false.

If it turns green, you go home with nothing.

If it turns red, you're walking out of here

-with £2,000, and you'll have done it all on your own.

-Mm.

So, we want it to turn red.

-AUDIENCE GROANS

-It's true!

Gary, you didn't achieve perfection.

-Aargh!

-Usual Suspects, that good for you. The prize fund rolls over.

One of you could be playing for a total of £3,000.

You failed to achieve perfection. You go home with nothing, but you played a hell of a game.

I hope you enjoyed yourself.

APPLAUSE

Please join us next time when our Usual Suspects have the chance to play again, this time for £3,000.

On this show, as we've just seen, close isn't good enough.

We only pay for perfection. Goodbye.

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